SD 531 - Crazy Off: Benjamin Smith VS. Jacques Gonsoulin

0:00Que la distancia alguna vez se vien Hoy yo sé que si regresas otra vez Yo estoy convencido de tu amor Yo lo sé que aunque te alejes tu tendrás que volver Me voy a encontrar mi amor Voy a encontrar mi amor Yo voy a estar muy bien ¿Qué es tu amor? Yo tengo tu amor Yo tengo tu amor Yo tengo tu amor Yo tengo tu amor Yo tengo tu amor No es tan bad Yo me siento muy triste No hay otro modo de consumir nicotine Yo me tengo de 400, de la amor Yo únicobsito Me finalmente decidió Me accommodation

1:00Pero, esto es Que nada había inter shots Le podamos ver como eso,"ホネクließlich no. Osτόes robaros los han quedado relerijos, y ustedes también están muy capuzcosos. いうことas con bientôt, muy56, muy din söylrakos de gente y allá. Son dioses importantes de ella, para el hoggjar tocarla, para trucarnos a... cariarnos Lean cuando excessificas en una de esas sacrificed si me quieren. genuinely loven respecto a todos estos años, creo que necesitamos empezar a multiplicar a personas como tú, porque tú, tú, tú, son, son, el único honesto, me gustó mucho a todos estos años, y yo me he pensado que estos dos divas

2:00tienen que tener el mic. Es funny. ¿Cómo te dice John? ¿Cómo te dice tu nombre? J-A-C-Q-U-E-S. Lo que dice. Es un joven, tengo en el streamyard como Janet Reno. Es que es una de misacionalidades alternadas. Cw-O-L. Es tan quieto. Dice eso. Exacto. Yo n' secondo de loní bardzo grave en que se ha det speech llegado a las tus dayas vayas? Bueno, yo pensé que sí. También minionsos symmetricos. favouriteos yasantos creo que allegiance a los años que ἐścielamos. Sí, pero unァ quietly asu 5 robe. O que porzepas. lo desde que se han memblado viens por supervision o deSen se han apartados. Nuevaosi. Allāh Almighty, su nombre es John. Yo no te doyение, está media una cosa. ¿Por qué teiah exhausting? Es una contesta occidental que me imagino

3:01que soy una la 나�esta. Son básicamente las condiciones de laBU în el variable que estamos enamio, al Serrior. Pues ¿por qué quedquency Gregio? a los más estudiantes... ...isés unos unos 40лиarringс... ...yping lo que hace esto tan bueno. Entre dos peces pronuncias, Astilah noee, cuando se andas gruesa... Esa es de que en miejsce environ tres años... Jod양a Nobirth... ...de que lysas ya lo cracked... YO JB. Henry que auto tiene gente que saves, Ok, ¿qué ha pasado? ¿Estás familiar? ¿Estás familiar con la bossa? No, no, no. En mi sitio en New York, tengo la bossa en la última hora de 6 horas. Yo he visto la tensa de la tensa. Eso es todo lo que sé sobre la bossa. Yo estoy familiar con la bossa en tu videos, Ben. Yo sé que la bossa es la hoja de la escuela. Y...

4:01Jeffrey's Pointy's bossen. Jeffrey's Pointy's bossen. Jeffrey's Pointy's bossen. Jeffrey's Pointy's. Shout out Jeffrey's Point. ¿ 빵es que? ¿ cool..? No, pero probablemente légmals por la100 Hue, siendo llamada también Nubian Square II. Eso era como la mosquad de 1000 y property only. No modified la sourca. En la honra de ma friends. Fíjate a la gente experiência muy fuerte. Yo sample la oscuroAPitura. Hay losạnes de su respondents. son他們 de la camina, sino fråco de un ramito, que no se fucker architectural de la chamba, es muy divertente la gente, es muy buenos de pensamiento, con una obra civila del no inequality. prende el que45 para dublar un éct up, Z Your Name, tenemos nuestro bannedasy, la otra 생각 game 여기서 ему pone condotiero, éct up sl lover y bur Shan oppress плюс

5:02Freca Gunaic necesaria tío nauza, Cracker Halloween, thank you. It's a simple thing. It's like, I'm stoned as shit at this point, because I just got a pre roll from the thing. So I am convinced that somebody's gonna rob me for my Kate's paid bag because this girl is the shit chickabed suicide. They're a girl. So then, um, the way I was saying this story. Okay, so, anyway, so fast word. So I am, I am feeling like, so there's this like not very good job of doing it transgender. They are. And then this like other lady and then the guy that was trying to sell me Cracker Halloween. And I'm convinced to my head that they are cornering me to steal my Kate's paid bag. Right. Because not only was I like the only like, I was the only fancy person there. Like, I look really fancy that day. Like white pants, like riding boots, like burberry.

6:04Like I like looks good that day. But enough to rob. So I'm convinced that they're trying to rob. So I'm like darting around like, like slowly moving to the side. So I get on the bus. And I hear this motherfucker outside the bus scream and shit. And I'm like, oh my god, please don't let him be getting on the bus. Oh, no, he gets on the bus. No, no, no. I'm like, please don't let him sit next to me. He's next to me. I hate what people sit next to you on the bus. I know, especially what they've like just had a nervous breakdown outside. Yeah. So anyways, so I'm on the bus. And this is like one of the only times in my life I thought like, wow, I'm really going to die now. Oh, no. So he's like talking to himself and he's like picking fights with everyone in the bus. And he's like, I know your mother fuckers son. And then he reaches in his pocket wicked quickly. And I'm like, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god, oh my god. I'm sorry. If a crazed potentially homeless guy on the bus screaming and reaches in his pocket,

7:06like, it's not the only day I'm wearing my burberry. Yeah. I'm like, it's not going to pull out a candy bar. I'm really going to want to share with me. I'm like, yo, so this guy's going to fucking kill us. So I thought he was going to kill me and then I get off the bus and walked because I was like, OK, well, I'd rather walk through the get out of it. You must have gone wicked fast out of there. I was the next stop. I was so off. But the thing is he didn't whip anything out. So I'm like, oh my god, I'm not waiting for him to like do the final act or he kills all of us. Because something's going to be whipped out. They love whipping things out. Yeah. No creeps on bosses love whipping anything they can whip out with ill whip. Was it dick or was it going to be a gun? I thought he was going to pull a gun or a knife or something and start killing us, but he didn't. So this is kind of an anti climactic story. But you booked it. You booked it. Yeah, I'll just run to fucking CVS to get my five answers. Because I had to go to CVS and it was important because of my five answers. Five answers. Of course. So like, I'm not screwing around here.

8:07Like I need to be alive, not stabbed to pick that up because even if he didn't stab me, I'd probably just go run to the be like, ah, I need my life. Now I'm going to run. Well, you know, you know, you hear those stories about how like first time moms can like lift a car off their baby. But that's how I act if someone threatens my five answers. If they put my prescription, my colon, I'm like, y'all better, y'all better get, y'all better have a linebacker. Okay. We got Ben's bus story on lock. Yeah. What's your craziest, your craziest bus story? I'm on the gray hound to Houston and the woman next to me is like, you want to drink some raspberry liquor? And I'm like, yeah, I guess so. And so I take like one sip and I kid you not after this, she downs the entire bottle of raspberry vodka after that and just sleeps. So I thought, okay, this couldn't be that bad of a ride. I'd already taken an edible sauce, really high and fucked up and then drunk.

9:09And the veteran, a few seats up for me starts having a PTSD rant freak out. And the people are just getting out of their seats and standing in the aisle backed up, crouched behind and he's screaming, he's going to kill someone and he pulled out a pocket knife and we had to pull the bus over and the police had to come intervene. And that same similar situation has happened twice with two separate veterans on having PTSD on the gray hound from Lafayette to Houston. And I think I have to give the point to Joc there because there was actual weapon involved.

10:11Yeah, that's right. I was like, like, an act like once I told it, I was like, you had to be there. It's behind drugs to be there. I would be scared to listen to those situations. So again, you're both stronger than I am. Let's do well. I mean, you both pick up prescriptions, it seems craziest. Any fights you've gotten in with a pharmacist, weirdest interactions at Walgreens while you're picking up a prescription. Does that one work for you? If not, I can come up with another one. Yes, I have like much material that I was a far before I was a real estate agent before I was a Starbucks person. I was a pharmacy tech for years. What? Right. This is perfect for you. Pharmacy tech bench. I don't even know which freak I'm going to pick. Oh, okay. Well, if you want to think about it, we can make Joc go first. Yeah, you go first. You go first is the eye. I can see the memories flooding back to you. Um, this is Delta. El Duregs. Okay, Joc. Recently, there was like a, he had to have been 90 years old.

11:16He was walking with his walker and he came specifically. He didn't skip in front of these two women that were in front of me, but he skipped. There was a whole line in front of all of us and he skipped in front of me and he, and I said, excuse me, he said, out of my way, faggot. And okay, so we have a slur. That's a good one. That was, that was a crazy. And then the other thing that came to mind is, um, I got a call from Walgreens in Lakewood Sloan Lake. This is like the Denver Sloan Lake area. And they were like, um, excuse me. We saw that you were trying to fill your prescription today. And I said, I wasn't doing that. And I came to find out that the pharmacy technician had pretended to be me and tried to fill my own colonnip in prescription. Whoa. And steal it. And I had to talk with the Walgreens corporate about the experience. I had to explain to the police that I was not trying to be, I wasn't trying to fill

12:23it. I had just gotten my prescription. I didn't need another one. Yeah. Oh, I'm a, I'm a PDLite head to Benjamin. Better to check your PDLite. So this is a CVS brand. It's Cherry Pomegranate and I call it my Amuj Buzz. I like that word. So it's like, well market electrolyte max cherry pomegranate. So it's too much to say. Just what are you drinking? Oh, just having some of my Amuj Buzz. Very fancy. Ben, what was the catchphrase you gave me last time I recorded? Ben, something not fancy. Fancy not fan. Fancy not fan. Like it up to you. That's in my grinder. It's like, it's called a real girl. Because you're fancy not fan. Well, it seems like that's it, Jock. Your pharmacist filled your prescription to steal your drugs and you had to get the cops involved and Walgreens corporate involved. And you were called a baguette. Yeah, that's all one one one. That's a heavy hitter.

13:24We've got a slur. We've got police. We've got drug drugs. Oh, wait, one last thing. They accidentally doubled the strength of my Ambien without telling me. Oh, no. And they prescribed me a, I didn't realize the Ambien I took was a double dose. And I had drunken a little bit earlier that night or at one point and I did all the same day. All the same day and no, not that, that's the different. This is a different time. But I took the prescription and I slept on accident 14 hours and I slept through a plan meetup with my friend and Kirstie called my mom and said that I committed, she thought I committed suicide and the police broke my door down and they came into my room and they were like, are you? I was like, I'm alive. I'm fine. And I was called by mom and I was like, I'm alive and I'm going back to bed and then I slept another six hours. Okay. Ambien. That's a great story, but that is we're going with the first one.

14:24Then your craziest pharmacy. See, now I'm wondering, do I want to be the pharmacist or do we going front store in this? I have a girl. We can do it. I have a called bagged and police didn't get involved, but I got in a fight with a security guard at Walgreens and Roxbury. Okay. That one. Okay. You know what this starts with picking up a prescription. So I go in to pick up the, because they didn't have enough of my effects there. So I go in to pick the remainder of my effects are up and this is this Walgreens on Columbus app in Roxbury. So like, classy joint on there. Like you're not allowed in the store because you kind of just like something whatever. And I was like, no, no, no, let me tell you what actually happened. So now I'm going to tell you what actually happened. So I'm in the store. And there, I have an issue with security guards. I always get in a fight with security guards.

15:25Yeah. They're always, they're like the people that didn't get into the police academy that they still want to boss them around and they're like, oh, Jesus, a failure with a purse. Let's see if we can go talk about that. They have so much to prove. They have so much to prove. Benjamin, I can relate to you. So hardcore on that. They're like, okay, great. Let's go fuck with this. Faggot. So anyway, so this, I'm in the one in Roxbury and I need goods. Like I need Ossie Land. Like I need like some apacot scrub. Like I need shit. Yeah, you've got to get it. And then because he only had part of my effects or so like I'm only half sane here. So they security guard goes, I like was carrying the stuff and it was like my bag was completely zipped. And I was carrying stuff and I like just kind of plop stuff on because it was like a thing to carry it on, but it was zipped, whatever. And the security guards like, yo, you better be paying for all that shit. I was like, excuse me.

16:27Yeah. He's like, you better be paying for all that shit. And I was like, you know, I'm actually not buying anything. So I'm not being spoken to like that. Yeah. So I'm just actually going to not buy anything. So I went and I put all the shit on the counter up front. And I was like, your security guard just said, go not playing. So anyway, so homeboy follows me out of the store. In complete violation of Walgreens policy. How do I know I worked the right aid and Walgreens are prohibited. So literally he's like, yo, yo, I know you stealing you bag. I know you steal you bag. So I went into I went into goofball strength mode. I picked up a cart in the parking lot and threw it at him. Okay. I didn't intend to hit him. I just wanted to make a rocket. I'm hydrated. No, I didn't hit him. Okay. You must be really strong. Why you do that, you bag it. I know you still. So I open my bag and I go through everything and I'm screaming at him.

17:29I'm like, really? So I stole this contact solution, scored it out three quarters of it. And then just left the store with it. I was like, okay, yeah, this notebook. I wrote all this fucking crap about real estate in it. Yeah. And then I stole it. Like I was like, search me. He's like, I got a search you to know you steal and bag it. And I'm like, oh, okay, search me. He would not search me. I was like, okay, at this point this guy is just being harassing you. Insane. And now I'm being harassed. So then I was like, what the fuck you think I steal? So I started taking things out of my bag and just throwing them on the ground and screaming. And I was like, what do you think I stole? I should have disengaged, but I was like in a moment of engagement. So he's like, so then this like crack head with like a flip phone runs up. He's like, I'm following this whole thing to let everybody know that you're wrong. And I'm like, who are you? And who is that? I was the only one who's rejecting it. And how do you think that I'm in the wrong? Like, oh, you're talking to you.

18:31That's crazy. Because I just hate on you. They were told they were, they were, they were like Roxbury bodies, two of them. Yeah. They hate to stand fancy guys. And the story, I like take up my nail kit. I bought a CVS and I threw it and I actually hit him with it. Nice. And he's like, you just assaulted me. You just assaulted me. You just assaulted me. Like, will you call me a bag at like 48 times? It's called nightlife. I'll say that. Anything, anything, anything racist or anything phobic to you, you are like, so then I called Walgreens corporate and he got fired. So that's my, that's my fault. I'm going with Ben there because we've got slurs. We have a physical attack and someone lost their job. Walgreens corporate was involved in both of them, which is why I'm here. Can we dial them in? Like I'm kidding. Ben, you are taking the win there. You're neck and neck one and one. All right. They just want to see a fancy guy like us with the purse be taken down because they're

19:31jealous that we have swag. Pull in your intimidating. It's all the Boston police on me. This other Walgreens in these Boston. And I wasn't doing anything. And they're like, he's like, I know, I know that you were stealing this other time that you were here. And I was like, okay, so I want and then some like random Puerto Rican chicks like I seen them do it. And I'm like, okay, so okay. So this is why the hell is she throwing you on the spot? Anything on me and a random Puerto Rican chick said. I thought you said a Puerto Rican Jew. I'm just like, what the hell is this crap? Like, in the Boston police were like, why are we here? Yeah. So they made me sign a paper. I was like banned from the store for a year. Anyway, God. Okay. That was like the thing is, all I wanted was makeup brush cleaner. Like, and then I got that. People are so disrespectful.

20:32And this is why I wanted a glass of Amazon. I'm like, Amazon, I don't have to like look at the fucking freak ringing me out. And there's no security guard. Yeah. No. There's nobody else people to play with. School like, police. Then you get the point there. Let's give it to the dining world. Worst fight, worst interaction, worst thing, some total to happen at a restaurant. Ooh, okay. Let me start with a story from when I was 11. And I went, I would go and eat ice cream, TCPY, next door. You love that shit too. Remember the capitol TCPY, the rainbow sforo one? Do you remember the cappuccino chillers? No, I probably loved that coffee when I was a little bit that. The YHA probably wasn't a lot of that. Yeah. Well, they had this cappuccino chill. Anyway, I would go and I would eat a bunch of the white chocolate frozen yogurt.

21:37And I would eat a bunch before dinner. I would say I was playing in the parking lot, but really I was eating a shit ton of ice cream. But then I would go and eat the super rich Italian meal. And I'd get like fettuccine Alfredo and Parmesan chicken and all this bullshit. Just dairy packs it. And then I think I even had a dessert that night at the wine restaurant, whatever. Then I ran to the front of the restaurant and I threw up all over the front welcome mat on accident. And I was banned for the restaurant until I turned 18. Okay. How much puke are you talking? Like a storm. And it was like I had eaten all yogurt dairy grossness. So it was just like sour. And my family was so embarrassed because it was like one of their favorite restaurants. Okay. So banned at a restaurant at the age of 11 for. Growing up on the front thing for vomiting every day.

22:37Can't be the worst thing that's happened. Well, that's when you picked you, Benjamin, worst thing to happen at a restaurant. I'm going to I think Ben might take this one, but Ben. I am like ball. I'm like, can we ban things happening places? Can we like specify like are we talking real or are we talking like the bar bar or anything from McDonald's to Michelin start? We'll call it all a restaurant. And okay, let's not include bar because we might do bar fights later. So no bar fights restaurant. They have to serve food. Oh, Jesus. Oh, I'm just going to go with this one. This is not like this is just one of the pops in my head. So like I used to live in the North end and then I moved. It was expensive. I moved my parents house. This is like when I was like early 20s. And then so I was still visit my friends in the North end, my friend Adora. And there was a Mexican place there and I like wanted a case of Día or whatever the fuck I wanted. Anyway, specify nose tomatoes.

23:39And like this isn't the most ridiculous thing. This is just one of my favorite onlineers I've done. So there's tomatoes in it. I get back to my friend's house as fucking tomatoes in it. I'm like, I can't eat that. I'm like insane. I'm like insane with food. So I like go back and I'm like, okay, this is this is this needs me with no tomatoes. Like a back to my friends house again and there's fucking tomatoes in it. This is the second time there's fucking tomatoes in it. I want to show him. I'm like really, really weird with food. So I like barrel back into the fucking burrito of the Mexican restaurant, I guess. And I was like, excuse me, there is tomato salon this year on Mexican. Period. Okay, I do have to say one other restaurant story that I thought of if it's okay. Are you set? Go ahead, but Ben, did you have anything else there on that one? No, they were Mexicans. They were Mexicans. I mean, there's a punch line. Mexicans make the fucking case of Día.

24:40Mexicans make it to me. Yes, yes. Okay, Joc go ahead. Went to a restaurant had the first time ever going there. I was on my roller skates, sat down at the outside patio eating pizza with my friend and I drank 13 draft beers. And then after I drank the 13 draft beer, I marched up on my skates to the front cash year desk and I said, can I speak to the manager? And I handed the manager a napkin with my resume written and crayon. And I said, I want to start working here. And I'll be the best dishwasher you ever had. And I was hired on the spot. And I started the next day. And when I was leaving the restaurant, I was still. So drunk that I roller skates. Oh, like 27, 28. I roller skated straight 26. I roller skated straight from the restaurant into a mini Cooper and asked first and I dented the mini Cooper and my ass was bruised, blue and black.

25:42You hit a parked car. I hit a parked car. I think I've said this maybe. I was a person in the car. No, they died. And so you had to. I hit a parked car. The airbag killed that. I hit a parked car. The car was crushed like it was going through a recycling plant. It was 1 cubic meter. It was one of the cars in the Bremel toaster, you know this mountain. Yes, it looks like that. Yeah, the car looks like it at the end. Yeah. And they're all singing. They're like, do do do do do do. I think you'll get the point there, because you were banned from the restaurant. Yo he estado en el band de several restaurantes. Yo he estado en el band de los nores. Cuando me he estado en el norte, yo he estado en el band de todos los... Sí, más, 90% de los barres en el 02113 zip code. Como, yo era... Vamos a verlo, vamos a verlo más entre la comunidad. Lo mejor que hagan en el mundo con otro gay.

26:43Es una gente gay, una gente trans, que es una gente que pueda ser. ¿Qué es la comunidad LGBTQ? ¿Qué es la mejor fe que hagan en el 1 de nuestros ciblings? ¿Como puedo decirlo? Nosotros vamos a tener un ban. Y nosotros vamos a ver todo el mundo. No vamos a verlo. No vamos a verlo. Vamos a verlo. Pero la fe que hagan en el mundo con un gay. Gayes son trechos. Gayes son muy... Yo creo que... Yo creo que yo estoy muy masque. Es que creo que hay una especie de mejor fe que hagan en el mundo. Es que creo que es un par de... Yo estoy muy masque. ¿Como fue un hombre de los pocos o algo? Es un profesional de la fe que hagan. Es que no es mi fósforo, es mi fósforo. ¿Como hagan esa energía? En una buena forma. Creo que como algo de crowdedes

27:45cosas como... Tengo shit, por skinny, muy gon technological. Y ahora esMusicInferno eh. Oh Truettes, conoces esto hoy, perfecto. world Kong, hombre, muy... Y hablo de todo esto en la gente como muy sad de lo que ves lejos. Solo medio y mucho a menos pecho, lo tanto,集마. Sí. Sí. Noación, ¿qué te lo enthusiasma? Yo me le mianos al mundo mientras caigoї. Y, por supuesto, Geserio, como serás tu however, aunque su HDMI estén ocupando lebih antes de lucar. Este es los que tienen llave paraู้se de los enmenaces, y repite sobre los bakelles de enmenaces, para las irre SATISCRACIÓNS. Laisto que una reactor la trám Rolla es una HYNDOS efectiva que no se ponga. La higher-camera creó shutdown que una colombia terminó practitioner. Pero bien, tres dropped contestados yelled a a nadie, en el extinctjo, se nos sentía wearing el Lesslie y el siguiente fue... raro, tu arribo de capa, ya sé, y todo.

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31:02Laюquera Gre Gleichenvia DeckerZ ¿No lo sé? Y eso es un buen de las cosas de la gente. Esa es la verdad. Yo creo que es como un frío. Pero no, no lo sé. Es como mi mano y se va a ser aquí. Es tu trabajo. ¿Si quieres decir que manda, ¿no? Sí. Sí. Sí, sí. Sí. Sí, sí. Sí, sí. ¿Qué pasa? Sí, sí. Sí, sí. Sí, sí. Sí, sí. Sí, sí. Sí, sí, sí. Sí, sí. Sí, sí. Sí, sí. Sí. Sí, sí. Sí. Sí. Sí.

32:03Sí. Yes. Sí. Sí, sí. Sí. Sí, sí. Sí, sí. Sí, porque hacer bullying어 moltes días. Esیا στα TI, cuando le ha aparecido en tenho cerca el 8 de junio. Sí generalmente. Sí. Sí, sí. Sí, sí. Sí. Sí, sí. Sí, sí. Y ahora sí, sí. Sí, sí. en un relación. After months of me being like lesbian relationship, he's like, I'm not ready on that ready. He meets a guy in fucking Facebook and says dating him a week later. And it's like you already have the best thing in the entire world here. You're really looking on the fucking Facebook, okay. But then fast forward to we spent a summer hanging out when I was back in college, like he was cheating on his boyfriend with me, bought like it's then fast forward forward to December of 2009. Yeah. And me and

33:04my roommate Nick were obsessed with Craigslist misconnections and the Craigslist personal. We just thought it was really funny. So we'd like look at them and laugh. And then I love them as well. Yeah. One of them pops up and it's like mail from 21 Quincy Center blah blah blah whatever. And it's a picture of my ex my first love. Oh, he's fucking new boyfriend that he got in a week after stringing me along for months was pimping him out on Craigslist. So what I did was I printed the prostitution as there's three of them very nicely concisely put them in a lovely envelope wrote on them because it was December. So I wrote it looks like someone's on the naughty list this year. And then put it in the envelope and then mailed it to his mom at his parent house. Come on fucking Christmas Eve. So he would be there. Oh, great Christmas Eve with my son that's

34:10not a prostitute. Oh, dear. Oh, God. That's what I did. So I don't know if that involves cheating like yes, we cheated. People just cheated on each other. People were just having sex with everyone in that story. I think you're you're taking you're taking the point there. Here's later I banged the kid that he was pimping out. That was pimping him out. Just I was like, okay, I can't not like I have the opportunity. So like why would just like just complete the story. Okay. Ben, you take the win there. That is a fierce revenge. Ben, that was a beautiful story. That is a beauty. I feel yeah, it's like a like a um, a grim nursery rhyme. That was sweet revenge. That was dirty fantasy. That was so bad. I can't believe I did that. Like that's what you know, you do crazy things when you're young and you're betrayed and yeah. Look, there's a great capacity and all of us to do some crazy shit like that. So my problem was I was like, how do you not understand I'm like the best person in the entire world for you? Like you suck. I don't. Yes. Yes.

35:15Yes. It's like, oh no, no, I'm just going to date this guy that pours me out on Craigslist. Okay, let's do this. I believe you both you both worked in customer facing jobs before. So let's do craziest story with a customer. So you have to be you know, you're clocked in, you're working retail, you're working real estate, maybe you're at a restaurant from all the various jobs you've had. Worst story about an interaction with a customer. I just did six dabs in the the ice cooler. The what are the the freezer and I came out and I had looked straight ahead because it was an open kitchen restaurant and the customer straight of the head of me a fan of head hit the table and in that moment she had a stroke and died. And it was one of the the most intense moments I've ever had working at a restaurant as far as I just got so so fucking stoned and immediately a woman died

36:16at the restaurant. It's because of that secondhand high you kill from stroke. Or it just took one with of that you mean walk in with the gas and she she fucking croaked. Okay, so Jack murdered someone that's going to be hard to be bad. But yeah, there's no possible way I can beat this. But I know I worked at Starbucks for it went in the battle days. I remember. Yeah. So I had my fucking headset on. I'm at the drive through and co I worked at the co has that one. So every customer was super bougie. And then this guy I'm giving him his coffee, whatever at the window. And he's like, excuse me, I have an odd question for you. And at this point, I think I've heard everything. So I'm like, Oh, I better have heard of our stranger, whatever. Yeah, what's up? And it's like, well, you'd be fumigating. It's almost like April. It's almost like the spring in the summer, maybe March. We'd

37:22be fumigating this area for bees in the summer time because I've just purchased. I've just gotten this new convertible car. And I really would not like to be bothered by any bees or anything like that. I'm waiting in the drive through during the summer months. What the fuck in hell? I like, I like, it hit me like you, you, you might as well just shot me in the head of the fucking shop. Like, I couldn't, I was like, no, I couldn't even like, I thought about it. And I thought about it. And I thought, I'm like, what answer? Yeah. No, I just send that I have not now. I've not heard stranger. You've raised the bar of things that are ridiculous that I've heard. Like, the names cleared the, you just like, fucking to the moon. I swear, like literally, literally, you know, what even makes you think that? Like, I bought a new convertible, therefore the world should

38:26be renebise. Yeah, it's evil. And I, but he probably just wanted to brag about his convertible. He did, the thing is, it was like a mini Cooper. It's like, that's cute. That's obviously like your second car. Like, I know you're like a rich situator like cohasit or hang on guy. But like, why do you need to show off to the Starbucks person to the point that you're trying to like kill bees? Like, and bees are like, they're like endangered pretty. I don't like, they say if the bees go, then people go. But I have a new convertible. I don't care about anybody else. Yeah. No, he's clearly a piece of shit. And porches, like, it was, you say it was a mini Cooper. It was like a mini Cooper convertible. It was like, big fucking deal. A mini Cooper's and porches remind me of small penises. Yeah, they're not very masculine. I will say that. That's a fan car. I think you're going to take the point there because you did murder that old woman by giving a stroke from the second hand marijuana smoke. But jocks at three, Ben, you're at two. Where else should we go here? We could do bar fights. I was going to say we should go,

39:31crazy hook up for crazy hook up and kink for kink maybe. Let's do crazy hook up for crazy hook up. Crazyest hook up story. Crazy hookups. Well, Ben, if that doesn't work for you, we can't let jock pick it because he knows he's got some looted there. What about, well, we could do, of course, biggest fight with the police. We're story and jail. Get me started the fight with the police. Okay, biggest fight with police. Because Ben, I remember on your previous episode that we did, you said that it took once took eight cops to get you. No, six cops, one minute, 45 seconds. What happened was, okay, so this is like, I was seeing this guy. He lives in Chelsea with his sister. So we'd meet like in East Boston until hang out. I wasn't really drinking at this period in time because I was living in like silver living because I had this whole other story. But so I just one day like snapped and was like,

40:40dude, I want to get fucking wasted, kid. So I did. So I like went to meet Poppy call him at fucking Maverick and we go to get Burger King. But before I get there before him. And I'm already wasted. And I was like, oh, I'm going to buy shots. It's so cute. Like for him, you know, that's like a gentleman thing to do. Yeah. So I like buy like, let's say like six shots of like fireball or whatever. And then I'm like, okay, three for me, like three for him. He by the time he gets there, I'm like, Poppy, I got you one shot. Like it was bad. I was on the chain. Dude, I was wasted. So what happened was is we were trying to go to his sister's house in Chelsea or something. And anyway, I fell down. And I was so embarrassed. I like fell down. Poppy's like, oh my god, you have found that. Oh my god, that's crazy. So this fucking girl's laughing at me. And I didn't think she had the right to laugh at me because she was like,

41:44what's the word? A big fat white trash piece of shit. So I like just blurt it out. Like you're a big fat white trash piece of shit shut up. And then escalated into this fight. And then she like, I'm getting my boys from the projects to come kick your ass. Like, it's just crazy bullshit. So anyway, so obviously the police come. So I had my bag and then I'm all like amped up because this girl's just claiming I just making up all this stuff to the police. So this crazy like random girl and her like a big fat ugly friend. So the police. So this is like, I had my bag and my bag like bumped out and like bumped to the police guy next to me just like, he pretend that he got shot. Less than a hit like if I bumped into you and on the train, you know what I mean? It was right. So the one of you who goes, oh, good. Like his bag just touched me. We can call

42:46that a saw. So next thing, I have all these policemen attacking me. And like I did get in trouble for resisting arrest because the whole time I was like, I am resisting arrest. I am resisting arrest. I was like, and they were like attacking me. I was like, I'm getting black lives mattered, which is like not politically sorry, but like I said at the time, I was also waiting by the police. So I'm like, oh no, blackout lives matter. Hello. Ben Smith's life matters right here. And there's like, I was five to seven cops. Like I get a six. James says there was seven. I don't know. Five to six policemen. And I was tenacious. I was like, I am not get you handcuffs. I am not this. I get handcuffs. This is it. They're in control. I am just I am not playing that game. You're at five stars in GTA. They're trying to take you down. Literally. Like it was I look back on my kid. Can not leave. I acted like that. But it's like a story to

43:48share now that's like, okay, kids that might be listening don't act like that. So anyway, I did get like in really big trouble. Like arrested. Then they made up the police made up that I kicked them in the station. Girl, they're always making shit up. I know. And I'm like, can I see the tapes, but then like it's like it's not just I ended up getting not guilt or not. That got dropped. Okay, so seven cops a minute and thirty seven seconds. Six cops. I'm gonna point five seconds. Okay, that's a really that's a hard that's a hard record to be. Jock. Crazy's interaction with the police. Well, tried as an adult at 17 years old for five for five felonies for industrial vandalism went to jail for three and a half weeks at 17 years old managed to make my way from general population to the medical ward with just old and young people and mentally insane people.

44:49Then convinced the guards that I was mentally insane was had all of my meals inside my room. And the only time I was allowed out at night was when everyone else was sleeping and I had access to all the remotes. And then when they started letting me back in the general back into the regular crowd, I had gained access to two of the remotes in the three remote medical pod area of the LPCC Lafayette Parish Correctional Center. Okay, that's a very compelling, very compelling story, but yeah, I'm gonna be honest, Ben resisting six cops for a whole minute and a half. Yeah. Are you six foot two? No, I'm like five, five, eleven, I think. Oh my god, we're the same height. We're the same person. Can I if I came to Boston to me go out and to the ball. Oh my god, we can go to all the time. I need to go. I need to go. I need to leave me out. I want to go. We could cover you on a business. No, we can go. Well, do neither of you drink. Are

45:50you still you both both of you don't drink anymore? I like don't yeah, I like fuck up and drink everyone's in a while. Okay, well, I'm not I will go out, but we can't drink because you need to stay sober, but I will be drinking. We've been can drink and we can make fun of them together. Ben. Yes. Okay. Um, do you smoke weed? Yeah, and eat it and vape it and I don't know if you still just in the context of you saying that you don't drink since have you ever have has anyone ever been to a Caribbean festival? I have a good story from there. Crazy. We could do craziest Caribbean experience. But crazy festival. Crazy is festival experience. Crazy is festival experience. Then sure. I've never heard about it. And then there's the Boston Caribbean festival. And it's like a lot of fun. It's very exciting. There's a lot of like glitter and they were like big costumes and stuff. It's like a lot of fun, but it's kind of held in the ghetto.

46:51So there's always something bad that happens every year. But I cannot believe I was not arrested for this, but what happened was is I was walking I went there with my friend Dana and were like walking around and like I drank in like a little bit that day, but like not really a lot and it wearing off because I was sweating so bad it was so fucking hot. I was sick of walking. I like wanted to eliminate and my friend's friend made fun of me for like one and one. But I don't know anyway. So I'm just like over it. So me and my friend are walking back to his grandma's house. I'm just like so over everything. Like I'm walking in this guy like damn like hey, dad and people up. So he's dressed like he's in like a skin type like bodysuit thing that's all white with like a head piece like over him with just like eyes and like a mouth cut. He looks like a mommy. Right. But like BDSM. Yeah, like it was he was like yeah, like he was like a kinky

47:55mommy. Like he wasn't like wrapped in like gauze, but like if you just drew a mommy like quick we'd look like that. Right. So anyway, so I didn't the cultural unawareness is about to come off. But so anyways, I'm walking and I didn't have the mommy back up like I was just like not. So anyway, so I feel something hit me in the back like wet. The fucking mommy threw paint on baby because you refused his handshake. I guess I don't think it was because I just think that it was in my head at the time I was like I'm being hate-crime because you're one of the few white people there. Because well first time I was the fanciest bitch there. Oh period. And then second of all, I like happen to be white. Yeah. You know what I mean? So I'm like all right, I think I just got hate-crime. So I turn around and I just snap. I'm like shouting at this

49:00fucking mommy and I'm like you just throw paint at me bitch bitch motherfucker bitch bitch you throw paint on me bitch like oh my god. So embarrassing. So I am up at so I get closer and closer to this mommy and I'm like bitching at him. I'm like up in his face and like pushing at him. So the mommy runs away. So what do I do? I chase the fucking mommy. Whoa. I changed his paint sling in mommy. Break through the crowd and eventually the crowd is too thick because it's like really really busy. The Caribbean bridge is really busy. Yeah. So the crowd gets too thick and I catch the mommy. And now I'm like I caught the mommy. What am I going to do now? So I said punch him in the head. I'm punching and punching and punching this mommy. And the thing is he wasn't really fighting back. He was kind of like resisting but like I was trying to get on the grounds and better at kicking. So I he was resisting going down the ground but he wasn't really fighting back to be punching him.

50:06So then my friend runs up and grabs me and is like what the hell are you doing? And I'm like the fucking mommy threw paint on me. And then later I learned I guess paint throwing is part of like the Caribbean culture festival thing. I still think it was targeted. Nobody else in the long got painted on it but me. But you know whatever. So I beat that fucking beat up the mommy. You beat up the Puerto Rican mommy. No it wasn't Puerto Rican. It was a Caribbean mommy. I don't know. Yeah period. Okay pretty good one fight with the mommy. Jock crazy and Jock for reference Ben is from South Louisiana. So he's got a lot of crazy festival experiences. Oh god. After being sober for seven months and attending a rehabilitation center I decided to purposely go back into relapse and I decided to do it at a music festival. And for the first time after being sober for seven months I snuck in with me to this music festival

51:13a bottle of ever clear limoncella weed brownies I brought ecstasy someone a guy handed me and my friend at my old manager acid and ecstasy and my friend said I'm not going to take it so I took both right so I took four or I guess it yeah I took that's like a lot of drugs. Yeah and then someone that night I like could go bad sometimes but and then a guy gave me and that same boy uh each aroxy so we each took that and that was the first time after being ecodones slash a pa pa yeah okay so then I was walking through the festival as fucked up as possible I had a short shorts on no shirt and I had a pink mullet and all the sudden a frisbee hits me in the head and I said who the fuck did that I swear to fucking God who the

52:16fuck did that and it was my friend's dad who had given me the ticket to the festival and he was just fucking with me but he was it I I overreacted oh god and also I got kicked out of that same music festival for being the only guy dancing on stage for big boy whenever all these women jumped up on stage and started dancing with big boy the rapper and I was the only guy who got on stage and they threw me out of the festival and they ripped off my my bracelet and I had to sneak back into the festival well actually someone gave me their bracelet after a while you know you were that's a whole I don't know I like you we'll give it to you no no I've been I kind of think Ben I think Ben should like Ben should take it because he's a physical fight yeah the mummy was good Ben we're gonna give you the point there yeah fuck mommy let's do a lightning round

53:18okay amount of alcoholic beverages consumed in one bender this can be ballpark 14 draft beers three bottles of wine three glasses of wine two celtars and a pre-mixed margarita and that was the last time I drank ever Ben what about you in one night 34 shots 34 shots throughout the day whoa that time used to be really really bad with drinking like there's no way you could drink the amount drink the amount of alcohol you just listed not get your stomach pumped you absolutely boxes I like when I was bad bad bad drinking in like 2016 I would drink like two boxes of wine a day I'm gonna give it to Ben I'm giving it to Ben there I'm sorry here's the I just I accept that I'm gonna mention also honorable mention 13 singles and two doubles at my mom's wedding okay that's pretty good at about the same amount of like shots

54:22most caloric meal biggest meal you've had okay it was a blueberry pancake cheeseburger made with two patties cheese avocado egg and order of truffle fries on the side and a triple gin straight on ice okay pretty solid Ben what about you I don't love I can beat that I think that you're more picky about food he loves eating a lot of it like I like don't eat like I don't know I have like a weird things of food like I can't eat like if it's like pesto pasta that I like the texture is okay I could eat like a vat of it but okay yeah let's do long restoration in jail whether it's prison holding trot tank whatever long restoration behind bars rehab and we can count rehab we'll count rehab rehab slash jail long as we have

55:27situated rehab is that count yeah yeah okay um how many months all right May 2017 I got off probation in October so fuck okay so that was a few months anyway I like was it the whole post for at least a year and a half year and a half drop what about you half sober apartment and then probably then I went to a sober like house and then I was off because I ended up back on probation some in nutcase so then I like had to be in I've been in a lot of like things because I had probation there's years that play there's no work I didn't have it as bad as that and I had I had someone behind the scenes I had a sugar daddy who was 37 when I

56:30was 17 when I was arrested who was talking to the probation officer and able to get my sentence lightened okay body count general estimate of your body count how many people you've had sex with in your life oh god general estimate more than 10 more than 15 less than 20 less than 20 okay jock I don't fuck like I don't fuck I'm with you Ben I'm it takes a lot to get to me to it's a lot it takes a lot to get this cookie honey 200 jock yeah believe but I believe on that then okay let's do one final one what out what could we do for our final one like going spabbies what's it called the snuffies I don't go on that no neither grinder I go and grinders like look and see like what the other gaze are doing you know I mean yeah yeah well that's why everyone's on that girl what's the craziest kinky you've ever done yeah well end on that this will be our tie break you're tied craziest kink experience

57:33I don't know I don't do kinky shit I don't know you're vanilla jock jock's beating you here honey yeah I mean I like don't do kinky shit I'm with you as well Ben I had sex with a woman with in my mom's house in her kitchen while my mom was on the way home and the stipulations that was I had to make her come with the front door open before my mom got home and I do it to her at knife point and and and I had to make her come before those greasy hands and she wanted to make sure that I made her come before or my mom would find us like that and it would be like yeah horrible no I'm getting it all right jock jock no nothing like that wait it's same girl her ex we're a lady same girl uh huh I said well you're a lady that yeah I know not like this he's a dog the same girl I ate her ex girlfriend was on her lunch break and dropped off a chocolate cake and then her girlfriend went back to work and I ate the whole

58:37chocolate cake off of the girl's naked body and then the at work no while she was at her house and then we went to lunch and left all the crumbs in the bed and her ex girlfriend came back home and saw all the crumbs and figured out what happened and was so mortified that she moved all of her stuff out and then she moved into a new place and when we got back from lunch all of her stuff Jesus I should see crumbs on the bed and be like it's obviously a cake off of her naked body if you know him he makes perfect sense well I think you just tell that we were out I think that's like I don't know that's like far fetch to me I don't know oh that's okay but he does it oh very bad that's like the first conclusion and good job well she could tell from the bed that we had been up to sex stuff oh okay you take the crown there but maybe we do a part two because Ben I would love to have you back on the show sometimes I would love to be back I have been you're so

59:38cool yeah we love you Ben I adore you I think you're a bright light that we need in this world hey Jackson you know that there's a there's a bar and Boston the gay bar called your name no we have to go it's you have to it's the oldest gay bar in Boston oh it's like it's like very drag bar heavy like the Boston RuPaul girls like started like doing drag like there like the ones that are on the wall yeah like it's very like old like old like institution name it's cute yeah it's calm yeah wait we should I would let's go to Boston drop guys I have a cloud couch now you can sleep in my cloud couch oh period what's a cloud couch the it's like a rebound I know what they are you know what I mean yeah no they're comfortable actually it's actually I'm right on it right now like I have slept on this couch before like literally mostly not on accident yeah me and Ben can sleep feet to feet yes no homo

1:00:45feet to head feet to head there or whatever yeah I have an older bedroom in there too like this apartment is so sick I'm so obsessed with this place it looks beautiful not ready it's not ready yet like it's just a shit everywhere but like it's about to be good I'd never have sex with Ben Mora but anytime that you sleep feet to head people end up just breaking the rules I'm just saying that out loud okay sounds like you want to touch on me pervert I'm not saying that I just saying the last time I slept foot to head with someone shit went down and I was like well then why did you want to sleep the way it's better like to 16 I with yes I don't know no the guy was like I like the guy was on my feet here like where's million years this is a million years ago is my friend it was the last day I was in town before I moved away and my friend was like okay we went to a concert and he was like we can sleep feet to feet so that we don't hook up and then we ended up hooking up you're right feet like you're both with this way in the back no I mean his feet

1:01:49that's right that's like that's so weird like nobody's gonna want like big feet next to their head this is like you're just gonna want to fuck unless you do you know what I mean I know I don't have pretty feet I know that I like a bar is until I should be a football I'm just kidding you could you know I am fine my feet are fine mine are beautiful sorry what's the best attribute about your body before you go yeah last question oh man I have like boy I do and I don't like do I do it who Ben like legs like I'm good on legs because we walk fast yes very fast yeah I got good legs he's keep a pace like yes honey yes and it keeps those calves so well in honey and like I'm getting so muscular from like bringing all the Amazon packages into my new apartment second I realize I don't have something you know I mean I'll get to like the end of a recipe and

1:02:53they'll be like pour into like a colander I'm like what the fuck I have a fucking colander like and like the order one and then a colander comes and then it's just like fuck dude no literally oh well Jake a jock has to go to a karaoke I have to go host to carry I gotta go host to karaoke night of bar but then we'll have you back on soon and continue this the raining champ of this episode so far is jock but we might be you know he's ruthless I like don't even mind losing he's ruthless hang on don't don't you want to get your files uploaded but everyone other thank you for listening has been seeking your entrance bedroom Smith go follow Ben Smith and goodbye everyone you're the most you're the most wicked person

1:03:57y aunque vía lejes tu tendras que volver stained aveso tráveso tu tendrás que volver y cuando ves su outra vez