Sam Spade - The Critical Author Caper

0:00The Adventures of Sam Spade Detective brought to you by Wild Root Cream Oil Hair Tonic, the non-alcoholic hair tonic that contains lannolin. Wild Root Cream Oil again and again, the choice of men who put good grooming first. Sam Spade Detective Agent! It's all me, from all over the sea. Oh, Sam! How was it at the beach? Sam was always foggy. Did you go in? Well, how I was up to my neck from the first rumble, if you made it, I'd go in the water, I'd dead. Was it cold? I didn't notice. I was too busy landing at corpse. Oh, Sam, what a coincidence! I was just reading my new library book, and it's all about a body in the water, pushed over a cliff, and there's a strangest girl in it with a, with a strangest mother, and she'd ring, the girl, and run the way with a choker, that rich people. They can't do that, they're stealing my material. Oh, no, Sam, no!

1:00It's by Owen Fitzseven. He's very well thought of. Mother always understands his plot. Not tonight she will. Staying out of angel, I'll be right down, and dictate my report on the critical author, Caperna. DASHO HAMMET DASHO HAMMET, America's leading detective fiction writer, and creator of Sam Spade, the hard-boiled private eye, and William Spere, radio's outstanding producer director of mystery, and crime drama, join their talents to make your hair stand on end with the adventures of Sam Spade. Presented by the makers of Wildroot Cream Oil for the hair. You know as well as I do, fellas, your hair is one of the first things any gal notices, so it's really important to keep your hair spruced up right all the time. The answer? Why, of course. Wildroot Cream Oil, hair tonic. Wildroot Cream Oil grooms your hair neatly and naturally, relieves dryness and removes loose ugly dandruff. I have a hunch, fellas. She'll help herself to another look

2:00if you're using Wildroot. Get Wildroot Cream Oil hair tonic in bottles or the handy new tube. It's again and again the choice of man who put good grooming first. Later in this program, we'll have an important announcement. Listen for it. And now with Howard Duff starring as Spade, Wildroot brings to the air the greatest private detective of them all in the adventures of Sam Spade. With my names, Sam Spade. I'm looking over. Oh, Sam. Yeah, come on in. Let's get this over with. And we've left any list chapter for the page to go. The detective has just found this girl in the sorted roomie house. He had this fight with her boyfriend and buoyed him. And now Butter wouldn't melt in her mouth And now butter wouldn't melt in her mouth. But I don't trust her. What's the name of the book? Morgh's food. His last was a spindly stiff. That was about this neurotic nurse who was in love with her employee. Effie, how long have you been reading this kind of trash?

3:01What's not trash, Sam? Well, you really make this character live. And I love this detective. He's real hard-boiled like a... a dash of hammer. Hatchled hammer? Mark, you're placing. Come in. All right, sir. Ready? Yes, Sam. I can hardly wait. Ah, that's the way I like it, eager. Tiffany's the chapter, I mean. Please. I wonder what she's up to. She's guilty of cause. Of course, but what up? You can read it when I'm finished. Oh, my goodness. We've got a report to get out. And here we are, chattering about books. Great, August. I will give the date. Yes, Sam. Uh, date? Fill it in. Till missing person's bureau, San Francisco police, attention, size and shorts. From Samuel's Bay, license number one, 7596, subject, Gabriel Leggett. Good day. I should have handed it over to you at the start, but you know me, I'm greedy. I cast the check sheet, sent me as a retainer, without consulting my better judgment.

4:01Gave the money to Effie, the paid bills, without batting an eye, followed a dime-car fare from the corner newsboy, without collateral, and arrived in front of the Leggett mansion on Navhill without the foggy as notion of what I had been retained for. I'm going to Leggett, Mr. Spade. It's about my step-tour to Gabrielle. She's been missing since the funeral. Uh, whose funeral was that? Mrs. Leggett. My husband, Gabrielle's father. That was nearly three weeks ago. She came to me afterwards and said she was going down to Kisada to our country place for a few days, that she wanted to be alone with her grief. But I discovered that she never arrived at Kisada. Do I make myself clear, Mr. Spade? Yeah, except for one thing. Why do you want to back? First, she made do something to disgrace me. She'll undoubtedly try her best to do so. Secondly, unless I get her signature to some papers, you know, cordons with her father's will I can't go on living in this house. That's okay, you've convinced me. Now, when she left, what did she take with it? That's one piece of light luggage, and her liquor case, of course.

5:01She drinks, you know. That's not my place to disapprove. I merely thought it might help you to know. Well, we could case all the boys in town, but it'll take a lot of time and a lot of money besides them on the wagon. Well, you might talk to Eric, my chauffeur. He drove us to the station, or says he did. Where do I find him? Let's see. Ten o'clock. He'll be lightening down the hall, somewhere in the neighborhood of the linen closet, helping the upstairs made fold the sheets. I'd knock first to fire with you and avoid embarrassment. Nice for the tip. Oh, mine if I have a look at your step-daughter's room. Eric will give you the key. I'm not a loud one. I guess. Oh, Eric. Oh, lady. Don't you think so? No. Oh, I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry. Don't you think so? No. Oh, excuse me. Thank you for your kindness. This is the call and... Don't get, my little. Anytime. Yes, sir. You, Eric?

6:01Call and send. What can I do for you? I'd like to key to Miss Gabrielle's room. You the law? Why? You're expecting some? No, your lady has been threatened in a young cop. She decided to whisper instead. Oh, private dick. You catch on fast, lover boy. Okay, I'll let you in her room. Come on. Mrs. Liggett says you'd draw Gabrielle to the station. She says that, does she? Is it an amateur told her? Not telling you what I told her. It's yourself. After you. What's eating you? Nothing at all. Just went some privacy. Oh, now wait a minute. I'm responsible. Go help Murdle. Give me those keys. You can. Love. Hey, let me in. I'll have your life. Her room was, shall we say, untidy. The mirrored dressing table was chipped around the edges and raised half a scone or a cross of between two polo pony bookends was a mess of books. Three odd volumes of the Harvard five-foot shelf, a horse breeders cassette, and a bunch of detective novels.

7:02I picked one up and opened it to the title page. It was called Morgfroth, and it was by Owen Fitzsteven. author of the Corpulent cadaver, the spindly stiff and the kiss-off. It was autographed to the author's great and good friend, the late Edgar Leggett. The signature looked familiar, but it didn't look like a lead. Maybe there'd anything else in the room. I started a one-locked door with a key on the ring. I grabbed the way from Eric, and the light caught the smooth side of a Christopher medal. It was engraved for Eric forever, Gabby. When forever Eric went off duty that night, he went across town. The trail ended at a crummy broken-down rooming house out in the film. To let himself in with a key and climb the stairs. I waited until he was on a site. In more time than it takes to tell, the door cracked open and a nose that could only belong to a landlady, raise it out at me. She was, uh, gumming a sensein. What do you want? They, uh, get settled in, all right? They, nobody shatting in on me.

8:02Another touch, me. You got me wrong, mom. I, uh, met the newlyweds. Did they, uh, raise the rent money, all right? Oh, damn. Raise it and spin it. He's a dick smither. It's smither. Stop for the whole day and throw the dead soldiers out the window. No. And they call it animal. Who are you? Uh, I'm her ex-husband, darling. I came to figure the back alimony out. Well, give it to me. I'll see if she gets... Oh, no, you don't. No, no, don't you, come on. I'm pushing in here. What? After hours. Don't log callers in here after 10 o'clock. I was rude. Shut up. Well, I don't. What's their room, no, no, no. I'll give it to me or I'll shake it out of your pocket. Do 12. Do 12. And if the look for these new offers, I'll let you try it. Oh, is that what you're supposed to do? Yeah, thank you, grand-spin, like this Marie. Smart, Alec. No, only you can't hang on to a woman. It's all right. You've robered a drink. I did not. Oh, Monty, tell the fuck for you. You're the way, Prismetter. What is it? That's the union.

9:03All right, let me. I told you to stay away, and I'll beat it. Eric, what is it? Well, look, Eric, I don't want any trouble, but I'm coming in. Over my dead body. Eric? Get back in the room, Gabby. Look, I want you to hurt her so much. I'll call an ambulance and don't make me do it. I don't get mad. I'm sorry. Eric. Eric. Eric. Can you be the Dunjai? Nothing in the fucking cold water can't cure. Sit down. I'll tell you. Who are you? Sam Spain. I'm a private detective. Your stuff might have hired me to find you. Oh. You know why she wants to find me? Do you? She wants to kill me. She'll kill my father now. She'll kill me. Can you prove that? My father never had a day's illness in his life. He could drink three quits a bandy in any evening. Do you believe a man like that could die a heart failure? Frankly, I could. My sister, you think I can talk about me? What's the real world, Mr. Ben and François? Do I seem crazy to you? No. A little nervous, maybe.

10:03This idea you have about your father's death. Talks to him, or will you? All right. I'll tell you the whole thing. And I got a drink for you. Hey. I can't get the top off. Give me a hand, will you? Sure. Now you need a corkscrew for this one. Yeah, I think there's one down there in the cupboard. I don't see one. Back in the corner. Look, it's either there. No, there's nothing. Hey! I dreamed I was a character in a detective story. The title of the story was Morgfroat, and the author, a man named Fitzthewen, was trying to figure out a way to turn me into a red herring before knocking off his number one suspect. I tried to tell him it's against the rules to make you detect him a red herring, but he said it was a new kind of murder yarn and it didn't matter anyway because there wasn't even a victim. That's what he thought.

11:04The makers of Wildroot Cream Oil are presenting the weekly Sunday adventure of Dashel Hammett's famous private detective, Sam Spade. Now, here's important news on GoodGrooming. If you want the WellGroomed look that helps you get ahead socially and on the job, listen. Recently, thousands of people from coast to coast who bought Wildroot Cream Oil for the first time or asked, how does Wildroot Cream Oil compare with the hair tonic you previously used? The result is that the best thing is that you can get a hair tonic on your hair. If you want the WellGroomed look that helps you get ahead, socially and on the job, listen. You can get a hair tonic you previously used. The results were amazing. Better than four out of five who replied said they preferred Wildroot Cream Oil. Remember, non-alcoholic Wildroot Cream Oil contains Lannolin. And here's the announcement we promised you. Now you can get Wildroot Cream Oil, America's leading hair tonic in a generous new 25 cent size on sale at all drug and toilet goods coffers. It's also available in larger economy bottles

12:06and the handy new tube. Yet, Wildroot Cream Oil again and again, the choice of men who put good grooming first. By the way, smart girls use Wildroot Cream Oil too and mothers say it's grand for training children's hair. And now back to the critical author, Kaper. Tonight's adventure with Sam Spade. When I came to and it came the dawn, and I was still a character who had a detective story, and I felt more like a red herring when I added my dream. I had dragged myself across my own trail and wound up no place. My quarried fled, leaving nothing behind, but empty bottles with fingerprints on them. I left it a few and hustled over to the bureau of identification. Half an hour later, I got the report. They were lying. All lying. I wondered what a detective novelist would make of that. I decided to find out.

13:08I had met Owen Fitzsteven several years back in Seattle when I was digging dirt on a chain of fake medians. He was plowing the same field for literary material and we pooled forces. I got more out of the combination than he did since he knew the spook ragged inside out. I cleaned up my job in a couple of weeks and we parted friends. His San Francisco apartment was on the sixth floor of the St. Mark. He was standing in his door, holding out a lean hand to greet me when I got there. You're looking fit, Sam. Little red in the face. That's the red herringer, last night. How's the literary grip going? You haven't been reading me? No, why'd you get that funny idea? There was something in your tone as in the voice of one who was bought and authored over a couple of dollars. I suppose you're still hounding the unfortunate evil duel. Yeah, that's how I have the luck, yep. You ought to grab the book for Edgar Leggett. Oh, yes, yes, it's Morgfruits, distressingly prophetic. What do you know about that family? Oh, what have they been up to now? Oh, well, you know the girl, like Gabrielle. Quite well, since she's a duplicate of her father.

14:10She has brains, but there's something black in her, something she doesn't want to think about but can't forget. She's a neurotic who keeps her body sensitive and ready. I don't know what for. Well, she drugs her mind with drink and lunatic notions. And she's cold and she's sane. I had something I wanted to forget. I'd anesthetize my mind directly. My body stays strong and ready. I hope you don't think any of this stuff means anything to me. Oh, yes, I remember you now. You were always like that. Tell me what's up while I try to find one syllable words for you. You know the fellow that drives for him? Erick? Well, he was released from Folsom and Leggett's custody when he was 18 years old. Murdered his father. Nice kid, what about him? Mrs. Legget hired me to find Gabrielle. I found her with Erick in a rooming house out in the film one. She begged me to save her from her stepmother's murderous games. Then she knocked me cold. Well, it's trivial. Though I've been thinking of the Leggett family in terms of Dumas, you bring me a piece of Jim Crackerie out of all hindrings. Well, I was writing this.

15:11Gabrielle would kill her stepmother or dupericons doing it for her. Or, no, that won't do. Not sufficient motive. Murder has to have a motive, you know. Why? She's insane, isn't she? I wonder. Are you saying that carelessly or do you really think she's off? I don't know. She's got a kind of a wild look about her. I shift from green to brown and back without ever settling on one color. How much of you turned up on her and you're snooping around on? Are you who make your living, snooping, sneering at my curiosity about people and my attempts to satisfy her? No, we're different. I do mine with the object of putting people in jail and I get paid for it. Don't know how much I should. I do mine with the object of putting people in books and I get paid for it. Don't know how much I should. Yeah, but what good does that do? Well, what good does putting them in jail do? I relives congestion. You put enough people in jail and said he's wouldn't have any traffic net problems. That's fine. Well, then all you have to do is wait till one of them kills the other and put the survivor in jail. That's simple. Yeah, but who's going to kill who? Perhaps they both have plans, both Gabrielle and her stepmother.

16:11Look, if you have to guard both of them. I think I'll settle for my client. As far as Gabrielle's concerned, her husband ought to be able to watch out for her. I have what? Husband? She and Eric got married. Well, there you are. You didn't tell me anything about that. Lord knows how much else there is. You haven't told me. Oh, five minutes. Don't go away. Helicram, sorry to hear. Thank you. Thank you, sir. Oh, I wonder what... Good Lord, this is positively corny. Listen to this, babe. I appeal to you as a friend of my dead husband, com immediately, sunset hotel, Kessada, trouble, danger. Do not communicate. Gabrielle must not know. Signed? Good to play it. It's paid. Yeah? Did you have this wire sent to me as a prank? I was just going to ask you if you sent it to yourself as a prank. Hmm.

17:11I have it. Hmm? The key to the whole thing. It's a red herring. I didn't think that Steven would be able to hold out very long. I guess it's professional curiosity. And I didn't imagine he thought I would. I caught the next bus for Kessada. Kessada is a one hotel town, pasted on a rocky side of a young mountain, that slopes into the Pacific Ocean some 80 miles from San Francisco. I got there at 11-something that night. Still, I was in the middle of the night. I was in the middle of the night. I was in the middle of the night. I was in the middle of the night. I was in the middle of the night. I glad to hear that there was 11-something that night. Step down from the bus, and cross the street to the Sun-Sat-Oh-Jal. All right, I'd like you, Kessada. Misses Langenright is it here? What's your name? Owen Fitzthesiven. Oh she left the message for you, said for you to wait right here and don't leave till she gets back. Yeah, she saw where she was going. Oh, it's probably over visiting with a daughter, and new son, and new. Over to the coal. How do you get there? You'd never be able to find it at night,

18:11Unless you went all the way around by the east road. Not then, I'm sure unless you knew the country. Well, how do you get there on the daytime? Well, you go down this street. You take the fork on the ocean side. Then follow that up along the cliff. Feasely enough found in the daytime, but you never in the world. Yeah, OK. OK, heard you the first time. So I waited until morning, stupidly. I found the road out at the point, but it never really been a road. The sign of the ledge became steeper and steeper until the path was simply a narrow shelf on the face of the cliff. The cliff that sheared off 150 feet on water ravled out into the ocean. A breeze from the general direction of China was pushing fog over the top of the cliff, making a noisy ladder of sea water at the bottom. Browning a corner where the cliff was steeper. So I checked my cigarette over the edge and watched it spin downwards. And that's when I saw it.

19:11I had to go waist deep into the Pacific to lift the body. I got my hands under the arm, then found solid ground for my feet, and dragged it up beyond the high tide line. It was good to like it. Somebody came staggering down the beach to meet us. She did? Yeah, Gabrielle, she's dead. Oh, oh, the witches, dead. They take me back to town with you. I'm your drinker. Sit down there. Sit down. What's the big idea? Don't you know I was sick. So I don't think you're that sick. I think you could make some sense. Sense? That's a laugh. You don't know me. I've never been able to think clearly the way other people do. No matter what I try to think about, there's a fog you're trying to get between me and it. You understand how horrible I can become? Going through life like this? Nobody thinks clearly, no matter what they pretend.

20:13Thinking's a dizzy business. No matter catching as many of those foggy glenches as you can and fending them together the best you can. Probably you is. You've been enjoying your misery. You've been so busy trying to prove that you're nuts. It's a wonder you haven't really driven yourself nuts. How do you know I haven't? Because you're too anxious to admit it. All right, I'm saying if you want it that way, I'm just evil. There's something black inside me. What was that again? Something black. Everybody knows that about my family. My father too. Who told you that? I always knew it. They say my real mother killed herself. But I know better. I know how to open the door where she keeps the gun. Every day, Gertrude lies on mother's bed. And we play killing the witch. Yeah. And she comes in in the night and bends over my cramp. And she's changed herself.

21:13So she looks like mother instead of a witch. But I know better. And I hold up the gun with both hands. It's very hard to pull with both hands. It's very hard to pull the trigger. But I must do it or the witch will eat me up. And then there's a big noise and red all over. And I can't get out. I can't get out. Now listen to me. We were beginning to make some sense. I don't run away from it. Gertrude was lying on your mother's bed. That's your stepmother? Yeah. She was my nurse. She married father. That's the fast. How old were you when your mother died? Four. Four and a half. Did your father know about the game with the gun? No, I don't think so. Did anybody? Gertrude said I must never tell anyone. Because it sent me away. I never did. Not till I grew up.

22:13I was with Owen Fitzsteven. I had a lot to drink. I told him after that he began seeing Gertrude. When finally my father died. But I didn't do any good. Because Owen really loved me. Now watch it. Now let's get this straight. You'll have to straighten it out again later on with a doctor to help you. This is to help me. When you were a little child, Gertrude taught you that killing the witch game to use you as a murder weapon against your mother. Then she filled you full of ideas of guilt and fears so you'd keep quiet about it. When you told the story to Owen, he blackmailed your stepmother and the knock-and-off your father. That made you feel responsible to his death, too, so you ran away. Now Gertrude said I killed her too. You might, but I got it. Now try and remember. Was Owen up here tonight? I thought I heard his voice, but I hear voices sometimes. I'm hearing it again. Listen, do you hear anything?

23:20I didn't hear anything that the wind and the beat of a surf at first. But when I did hear the voice, I sent Gabby for a doctor before I investigated. He was pretty badly mangled in the rocks. He'd fallen nearly as far as he'd pushed Gertrude but was still alive. And then I was comfortable as I couldn't. Finally he opened his eyes. Oh, son. You'll mess yourself up good. Yeah, no more rocks for me. Not unless you make alcohol, Tres. You know, I had half an idea when you came to see me in San Francisco that you were secretly nursing some exceptional idiotic. Thanks, Owen, but I never had any fear. Oh, fine. Dropped into my lap. Too sure of that. On the standard present, I admit nothing. Later on, if I'm forced to, the very number of my crimes will be to my advantage. The theory that nobody but an unetic could have committed so many. Well, there's not so many. Only Gertrude, your co-author of the murder of the late-eyed girl, like it.

24:20Nonsense. Crimes and crimes dating from the cradle. Even literature should help me. That's your own books. Why not? In the critics' degree, the despidly stiff bore all the marks of authority or degeneracy. Evidence in son to say my sweet neck. And I shall wave my mangled body at them. A ruin whose crimes and high heaven have surely brought sufficient punishment to Bobby. Yeah, you'll probably make a go of it. Legally, you're entitled to beat the jump of anybody, wasn't it? With the glee, you mean insane? Tell me the truth, Sam. Where am I? I fight dust with those saying. With that spoils, everything. It's no fun if I'm really cracked. No fun at all.

25:22Here, Ian, on a report. Just goes to show, doesn't it? No, there you go, Ian. I mean, if anything like that happened in real life, you wouldn't believe it. You mean if anything like that happened in fiction? Oh, no. The author is never the guilty body. Well, this author was. That's not fair. The author is never supposed to be guilty of any of it. You're right. You're right, Anthony. You shouldn't be even a suspect. Maybe a red herring, but... Type that up, Anthony. Oh, all right, Sam. Anything else, Sam? Yeah, fall in the drugstore and order some red herring. I mean some aspirin. Oh, no. Oh, no. Oh, no. More and more, folks, are turning to famous wildroot cream oil every day. Wildroot cream oil gives you all you ever dreamed of in a hair tonic. It grooms your hair neatly and naturally the way you like it, the way other people like it. What's more, wildroot cream oil relieves dryness and removes loose ugly dandruff. So join the millions with handsome hair. Tonight, or first thing tomorrow, ask at your drug or toilet goods counter for a wildroot cream oil.

26:23Also, ask your barber for a professional application. If you've never tried it before, get the generous new 25 cent bottle just introduced. Its wildroot cream oil's got acquainted size and once you've made the acquaintance of wildroot cream oil, you'll find you've made a lifelong friend. Come on in, Trichletos. Well, here we get that. And I like even better than more fruit. You did. I mean, it's not so realistic. I like a romantic type story, myself. You do. Of atmosphere and psychology and those. Oh, you've got to have those. You really should be a writer, Sam. Right, you think so? Of course, detective stories don't pay much. Oh, that's true. Or if you write enough of them, and look at all the material you've got. No good. Never do a perfection. But Sam is already that radio series, the adventures of you know who, Sunday night. That's what I mean. I don't make a penny out of it. What is your own fault? Sam, I don't want to seem critical, but if you played your cards right, you could have owned a piece of that show. Why? And follow Blondie? Go home, Matthew. I think I will, Sam. Just curl up with a good book. I wonder who killed who? When you find out, though, let me know. Oh, you know you can't wait.

27:24Yeah, they can. Good night, sir. Good night, sweetheart. The adventures of Sam's Fade, Dashel Hammett's famous private detective, are produced and directed by William Spear. Sam's Fade is played by Howard Duff. And the re-entitle is F.E. The adventures of Sam's Fade are written for radio by Bob Tallman and Gill Down. Musical direction is by Ludgluskin, with score composed by Renee Garrigan. Join us again next Sunday, when author Dashel Hammett and producer William Spear joined forces for another adventure with Sam's Fade, brought to you by Wild Root Cream Oil. Again and again, the choice of men who put good grooming first. This is Dick Joy reminding you to...

28:46Go away! Higher, baldy! Get Wild Root right away! This is CBS, the Columbia Broadcasting System.