Ryan Has Been Banned From Touring

0:00Kevin Hart here, in this Cashback in season, I'm getting scary amounts of cash back on all my Halloween stuff. Do you like scary movies? Have you seen my movies? Yeah, big fan. Alright, scary guy, I'll see you around. It's Cashback in season, with Chase Freedom. Card's issued by JP Morgan Chase Bank, any member of FDIC. This ad is sponsored by ZockDock. Hi, it's Danny Pellegrino from Everything I Connect. Have you been putting off that annual doctor's appointment because you don't want to make the call? Or maybe you've been meaning to find a new dentist, but you have no idea where to start? I find that's especially true when you move. It's hard to find your people. I've been there, which is why I use ZockDock. Now, as a busy podcaster parent and someone who's always juggling a million things, I love anything that makes life easier. And ZockDock lets you search and compare local in-network doctors with over 250,000 providers across more than 200 specialties. You can read reviews from real patients, find a provider who feels like the right fit, see actual appointment openings and book instantly. I recently had a last minute health issue pop up and needed to see someone fast instead of calling around

1:00or sitting on hold. I found a doctor on ZockDock and booked an appointment in just a few minutes. It made the whole process so much less stressful. Now, taking care of your health just got easier. Download the ZockDock app today. That's ZockDock. ZOC, DOC. And book that appointment on your to-do list. CONTEKING Vietnã. Are we past that? There's Hlanda. Is there actually Hlanda? Yes, 35. Okay, well I'm fine then, Charles. Thank you very much. And I'll get a fake ID. Hi, I am Randy from Chico, California, USA. Hi, I'm Samantha from Lake Monday, Australia. Hi, I'm Julia from New Jersey in the US. And I approve this podcast. Welcome to the Tony and Ryan podcast. My name is Ryan. This is Dr. Author Tony Lodge. Captain of the ship. Viscapt. I'm Viscapt and you're Captain and Dr. Throat. Which we have rediscovered on LinkedIn.

2:01Have you sent that email? I have. I emailed Cynthia from STEMWave. Yeah. And I said, we're in. What's the next stage? Like what's the next thing that we need to do? I'm going to do a podcast. I'm going to do a podcast. I'm going to do a podcast. I'm going to do a podcast. I'm going to do a podcast. I'm going to do a podcast. I'm going to do a podcast. Next stage. Like what's the next thing that we need to do? Have not heard that. Okay. But as I Am Now large in the, I'm Dr. community. Not a fat joke, by the way. Just that I am like a big deal in the Dr. community. I've actually gotten some news, sorry. Nah you've just come out real hot for a Tuesday, and I'm just going to need a moment to set. I love coming to work. Yeah, so true. First of all, this company synthesis the letter offering us medical equipment for our medical practice. Yeah.ivity award. Dr. Tony Lovge. A second of all, can you please discuss why it is that you are big in the doctors world? Yes. Okay. So, this is not only, this might be a combination of all our favorite areas, me being a doctor,

3:01medical comedy, maybe, and also on a fucking Monday. Okay. Because last Monday, I get a text from the doctor's association of Australia or fucking whatever, because I am a board member, saying you need to get a pap smear. The Bulletin, that did it. Yeah, they do. It's like a national registry. Right. So, it's like every time you get a pap smear, they go, great, set up the reminder text for five years from now or two years from now, whatever it is. Great. Doesn't that get you wake off to a good start? On a fucking Monday, I get a text being like, girlfriend, you do need to have a pap smear. Yeah. I go, okay, I'll book in. I find this new doctor. And she doesn't have an appointment for like three months. Or she had an appointment yesterday. So not only did I get told I had to have a pap smear on a fucking Monday, yesterday I had a pap smear on a fucking Monday. Don't you traditionally?

4:02First of all, congratulations, thank you. Traditionally, would that be something you would need, I'll put off, yeah, but like, need five to six business days to like get your head around that this is how, remember that time I got a wax on a whim? Yes. That's spicy. Yeah. So my wife had a waxing appointment. I went to cancel and they said, sorry, it's too late. And I said, well, how much did she pay? And they said, 80 bucks on what, what can I get? Yeah. And that thus was the beginning of your waxing journey. My beautiful back, my sexy slippery silky dolphin back. Yeah. But I'm guessing a pat, like if someone goes, you're getting a pap smear today, you're like, oh, hang on. You need to mentally prepare for sure. It's very invasive. Sure. Like it's the invasive. You know, like it's up your full clucker. Do you know what I mean? So, yeah. The medical industry. Yeah. As a doctor. Yeah. You can listen to me. Okay. But so not only did I get told I had to have a pap smear on a Monday on a fucking Monday. I had a pap smear the following fucking Monday.

5:03Congratulations. Thank you. I was really proud myself. How do you feel? Invited. Yeah. Yeah. And you should do it. Don't put it off. It's very important. Charles, what's one question? Because I've got one. Okay. Here we go. Well, Charles only found out what a pap smear was like two weeks ago. I told him in the car. Yeah. So I feel like what's a question that you want to ask that you wouldn't because... Oh, this is like an episode of the ABC show like you can't ask that. Yeah, absolutely can. Yeah. Ask me what it is you want. Is there something you're curious about? I did completely forget what the pap smear was. Even though you did explain to me. Strikes. Ah. Yeah. That's Kate Hessellobs. Yeah. Medical term. Oh, Charles. Good question. Mark. Yeah. Are you aware that you've had that procedure done like the next day? Um, you know what I'm asking? It's not really like sore. Is that what you're asking? Kind of. Yeah. Like, it's like the second it finishes you like. Nah. But I would say having it in the morning for the rest of the day you are a bit like,

6:04you know, like... Because a friend of mine, they're not comfortable. Yeah. Like it's, it doesn't hurt, but it's uncomfortable and like, I guess it depends on the way that your body is laid out. Yeah. Because you've got a short cervix. You've got like, you know, that can obviously affect how it hurts you. Like, because they put the like duck bill thing in. They're fucking a wrench open like, oh, car. Do they call it a duck bill? They do. Really? They do. It's called like something, but they, that's what they, yeah. It is a duck bill. Thank you, Charles. That is a duck bill. Yeah. But that's like, that's what they kind of, how they describe it. Sorry. Yeah. Sorry. Bring that back up, Charles. Yeah. You're going to need more information. Let's, no, no. Let's talk about... We're showing the duck bill thing on the screen, by the way, if you're just listening. But it's like a professional photo taken in the studio. Yeah. Well, because they're probably selling that equipment. So I often get weird about like, you know, like stock photos.

7:05Sure. So I want to go, imagine being on set that day. Oh, and being like, we're going to model the toothpicks. Yeah. Or, hi guys, today we're just going to pretend that we work in an office because some company I'm wants to put collaboration on their website and need a generic picture. Yeah. That's so funny. So we're going to be that today. Yeah. And so I'm wondering, you study photography, you're that way of mind, you like how things look, you know, you got a nice eye and they go, what are you doing? Today, and he goes, I'm shooting a duck bill. But I mean, product photography or like Ecom, like feels, you know, this is like not a necessary like creative photo shoot. Well, I mean, I don't know that. They might have put a lot into this, but is the duck bill? Okay, now we're going to get into it. Okay. Well, it did get into me. So that's all right. The way they've put it out there is that the bills are top and bottom.

8:07And I don't know why in my mind, I assumed it would be left and right. So when they insert it, the end, like the beak, if a duck was quacking, it would be open. The duck is not currently quacking. Yes. They put it in. But is it up and down or left and right? Up and down. Really? And then she quacks. Okay. No, this is why we're all learning. She quacks, a long quack stays open. And then see how there's the opening at the back. Then they threw the quack, put the swab into there and then that's how they get like to the top of your cervix. Yep. Now, is it as cold as that photo looks? Yeah. Really? Then I hit it up. Really, really cold. Can't they pop it in some warm water just to sit like in a cup of tea in an eel gray? I'd prefer. Yeah. I should ask them. Maybe that would come. Maybe a chamomile. Calm you down from the inside. Wouldn't that be beautiful? I'd pay for that. Yeah.

9:07That sounds like a spa. It would not treat you. They wouldn't have to message you and go, oh, it's five years you better come in. You'd be messing them. I'd be like, when can I come in front of all of them? When's the next available? When's me papi? How often can I get these? When can I have a schmia? I want a chamomile. I'm like, **** to me. So, yeah, it is as cold as it looks. And it's just, you know, a cold metal object and it feels like a cold metal object. Like it's really, it's very asterole procedure. Like it's not nice. But that's okay. We have to do these things for our health and long journey too. But the person holding it looks like they're ready to do the shocker. I don't know if there's something about the bottom two. Yeah, they're holding it like a gun. Yeah. Which is quite aggressive. Yeah. But, you know, these things. We're proud of you. Thank you so much. The scrape of life. And it really could be, you know? It's like, no, it's not like a lock. No results yet. That's what you're like. Like all good, you know? Not, you know, yeah. And did they just go cool? We'll let you know if there's anything.

10:08Yeah. So they just, if you don't hear back, it's good news. Because that feels weird. Yeah, it does. Like, don't call us, we'll call you. You're going to put something in my vagina and not call me back. You know what I mean? That's a really good way of putting that. Yeah. I'd love a follow up. Yeah. If you wouldn't mind, I would love a follow up. Even if it's just a text just to say, hey, it's not for me, but I had a great time. I feel like I'm so much fun. I don't really say it going further, but just wanted to let you know, it's like respectable. Yeah. And you're selling it exactly like how you feel a bit violated after that. You do want somebody to kind of just be like, hey, you're all good. Yeah. I know you were just violated inside, but just, I've got some feedback. I do. No, but just like, and you're fine. All good. Yeah. Yeah. But the new doctor's good as well. Thanks for asking. If you had a one night stand and the next morning, the guy left and just sent through an emoji that was just like thumbs up, I would, I'd write that. Yeah. Because I'd be like, hey, thanks for acknowledging that.

11:08Yeah. Oh, good. Nice one. I just think the acknowledgement is nice. Like I read some fucking, like Buzzfeed or, you know, one of those kind of things about how people like hate it when someone likes a message. Like that it is really, is that right? Like really passive aggressive for someone to like thumbs up a message. But we're into that here. I like that. Because I've, I've read your, I've acknowledged that I've got it. Yeah, I think that's really nice. Because then it's not just like radio silence. Obviously, if I was saying something that needed an answer, then I'd be like, oh, like I need you. But if it's not really that, but it's just, oh, but I'm guilty of people telling me something that I needed to know. Yeah. And I'll go cool, got it. Yeah. I don't know that I've got it. Yeah. And I think that the thumbs up is just nice. That is nice. We've all learned something today. I'm pro that. Write it down. Yeah. These are top confessions. What are we confessing today?

12:08Someone's like, I didn't perhaps mean for this girl and she was terrible. I've been secretly feeding my housemate his own sink water. Oh. He does meal prep. And every week he cooks up a big batch of whatever he's having for lunch and portions it out for the week. Very organized, very admirable. Cool. He also leaves the sink strainer full of like rice and pasta and vegetables, just kind of like sitting in the sink, marinating in the sink water. Oh, sorry. You just really hit a nerve with me. I saw that happen. Yeah. Sorry. Yep. I'm nice. This is tapas words. A little Michelin star swamp that nobody asked for. He never cleans it. So I started putting it back. If he's not throwing it out, he obviously must be saving it for later. That is crazy. Yeah. If he's made a pasta and the strain is full of pasta, it goes back in because he's meal prep

13:12for the week. All the containers are lined up in the fridge. So she goes, oh, that's swampy bit of rice and the fucking sink water. You must have wanted that. You must have wanted that. Maybe I'll just get that rice and pop it back in your rice container. Can I just say, sometimes we add voices to things and they are not right. That was incredible. And could not be more accurate. He gets an extra bit of moisture, an extra bit of flavor, a little extra of whatever's been living in that drain. He's been eating it for months. Fuck, that is so disgusting. I'd like to say I feel bad about it, but I don't. And you know what? Well, you're the only one that has to live with it, I guess. That's my confession. I really fucking hate it when there's food in the sink thing. That just pisses me off. So when I'm cleaning up at home, take that back. Take your life back.

14:13Take that. No, because the cooks and the, they don't clean. The bridge it doesn't clean at your house. Well, I have the first crack. Well, I go the first crack at it. And then, and here is the difference. If I get most of the stuff down, I'm like, great. What do you mean most of the stuff down? Like if there's a, like it's not perfect often. But what do you mean most of the stuff down? Take it out of the sink. You don't put it down the sink. No, but if there's heaps of stuff in the sink and heaps of stuff on the bench and I've cleaned up and whatever. And like, the difference between me and a lot of people probably is like, if I've got most of it, then like all good. What are you saying is most of it? The food out of the sink or the dishes in the dishwasher? No, like if there was a few grains of rice left in the sink. Yep. Like that kind of thing. Sure. Yeah. No, but you just said when you've got most of it down. And what I'm worried I'm hearing is that you are forcing it down the sink hole.

15:17Or say it. I need you to say yes or no to that. No, no, it's actually so simple. No, let me, let me have a, so say we've had. You've had a curry. A curry. Great. Great. I'm still, and I think we're on board with this when people are like, oh, you just put it in the dishwasher. And I'm like, no, if there's curry sauce and fucking rice and blah, blah, blah. I'll give that a little in the sink before I put it in the dishwasher. Sure. Because putting all that shit in the dishwasher, I'm like, what, you just got to mix our taste sauce around with fucking everything. No, that's crazy. And so that's kind of just like a bit of a once over in the sink and then I'll pop it in. But of course you've had a curry. So there's like a bit of rice or whatever. A couple of bits of rice and whatever. A fucking sprick of coriander. Sure. Yeah. If that survives the cleanup, is that terrible? So I don't pre-rins, but I would scrape all of that into the bin. Like I wouldn't put that because then you just have to pull it out of the sink and then back into the bin.

16:17Yeah. I hate it when there is like say you did the, our pre-rins in the sink and then you left that rice and stuff behind. It's just so, it smells. It gets slimy and like the longer you leave it in there, the harder it is to clean. Because the stuff just like sits in the sink. So like I wouldn't do what our confessing type has done just because I don't fuck with that. I just would feel too. Also there's a difference between a roommate and your husband. Totally. Yeah, yeah. Like, it turns my head the same thing. So I wouldn't do it. And yeah, when you leave it in the house, it's fucking hard. You keep that mouth. Yeah, totally. Oh, jokes on you. Well, actually. Yeah, well, it's us. Yeah. We're in this together. But yeah, like I wouldn't do that, but I think it is fair. Here's another confession. Cause you're moving around long. I can't believe you leave food in the sink, but I, well, seeing it happen live.

17:19So I think what my issue is and my issue is that I'm like, if I do a full, full job of the sink. Yeah. I'm like, oh, we have some dessert. And then I'll go to do that all again. It's sort of like I'll get it most of the way and then at the end of the night when we've all that we had a bit more food. And then you're like, oh, I just, I just tidy that up and now I got to clean it. And I'm like, if it's close enough for now. Yeah, but are you going back and scooping the stuff out? I definitely have the intention to. Yeah. I also, I wouldn't do the cleanup of all of that stuff until like right before I was going to bed normally anyway. I think this is actually what I'm saying. Hmm. But you're saying that you've already done it. So if you knew you were going to eat it like I wouldn't fuck around with cleaning everything up and then. Yeah. And I think that's where I got, oh, you're not going to clean that. And I go, yeah, but like, not right now. But also don't you have the little sink straight like the catches?

18:21Yeah. There are, there are myth. Well, I'm going to have to just scan. I mean, just stuff going down the sink, what does it not? No, no, no, but so you put that into that's in like on top of the plough or whatever. And all of the food runs into that and then you take that out and you tap that into the bin and then the foods out of the sink. Yeah, but this is what I mean. We've actually made it so easy for people. No, you actually haven't know because what happens is then the food that goes in that thing means water can't get down. So then you need to like no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. That thing. Yeah. You can plug it down, but you can also just sit it in the sink. Yeah, but once the food starts clogging in the bit, then the water can't keep going. Yeah, so then you tap it out into the bin. Yeah, and then the shit just keeps running. How much food are you putting in your sink? I'm fucking gone for it. You need to stop.

19:22Are you shoving the food down? time. Yeah. You are just like bits of rice and pasta and chicken and hot dogs and stuff. These are token fish. I'm a tiny little girl who does massive not so tiny shits. So a few weeks after moving in with the roommate who I also work with, I clogged the toilet with the biggest poo imaginable. This next sentence, I feel is iconic that I'm not sure. It wasn't just a poo. It was an event. Like she was saying, I wasn't just like, I was like, no, like this was this was some sure. Instead of dealing with it like a normal adult human being, I went into the kitchen, got some tongs, grabbed a plastic bag, fished it out, poo in the bag, tongs in

20:22the bag, tied the bag up, bag in the bin, done, see, don't worry about it, carry on with my day. The next morning my roommate comes out and asks where the tongs are. Sure. I looked at dead in the eye and said, I have absolutely no idea. I've never seen them house strange. When she's been like, oh, sorry, I broke them. I'll go grab some more. Haven't seen them house strange. Yeah, okay. For them just to disappear. Yeah, go where if they are? I haven't seen them. Do we have any, are you sure? She still doesn't know. We still live together. We still work together. She's mentioned to people at work that they've lost their tongs. Oh, I think the problem here is that the housemate needs to get a fucking personality. Yeah, you're going in to the, yeah, you're going somewhere, someone goes, how are you going? Oh, well, it's actually not good, mate. I've lost me tongs. Like, come on, come on. Do you reckon after it's been mentioned and brought up and times

21:24gone by that maybe the confessor could just buy a new pair? Well, they're like two bucks from KVL. Yeah. Yeah. But I think that maybe I'm getting a bit caught up in the logistics of this, but like she said she fished it out with the plastic bag. Like she had a plastic bag and she fished it, like she got the tongs pulled it out. Why wouldn't you just like reverse the bag and then no tongs needed to be harmed in the so true. You know what I mean? Maybe it was a double fister though. I don't know if you have to like a double fister. Like, if you need tongs, something's going on. You know what I mean? Yeah, I, I, yeah, yeah. They did the right thing by throwing them out. Yeah. I think that that is fair. It's worse to like put them in the dishwasher. Absolutely. Yeah. That is. Yeah. Hi, I'm Samantha from Lake Monday, Australia. Hi, I am Randy from Chico, California, USA. I'm Julia from New Jersey in the US.

22:26And you're listening to Tony and Ryan. Did I use episode is sponsored by vintage. Now I've got a confession. Safe space. The bedroom here at work. I've just been throwing clothes into that cupboard. Yes. And I finally did a clean out and it was overwhelming all of the stuff that I had in there. Because you keep pulling, it's like a clown car. You pull the clothes out and they just keep coming. You don't realise how much you're sitting in there. Didn't realise how much stuff was in there. And it's not just the space it was taking. I might, this is just money sitting in the cupboard with stuff I don't use. Yes, because you can sell the clothes you don't really wear. And it's extra cash, but also give those clothes a second line. And with vintage, selling is stupidly easy, right? You snap a photo, you write a quick description, don't. That's it. And when something sells, vintage creates the prepaid shipping label for you. So you're not standing in line at the post office trying to figure out how the postage works. And you know I hate Admin. I do know that. But the part that got me, no cellophies. Whatever you sell it for, you keep it. Ready to clean out your closet and make some extra money? Download the Vintage Up for free and start listing.

23:29With no cellophies, you keep every dollar you earn. That's Vintage. Download the Up for free today. Kevin Hart here in this cashbacking season. I'm getting scary amounts of cash back on all my Halloween stuff. Hello, Kevin. No, no, no, no. I know where this is. Do you like scary movies? Have you seen my movies? Yeah, big fan. Just wanted to know what you cash back down with Chase Freedom. Oh, man. Now I cash back on pumpkins, cash back on costumes, cash back on candy. So are you having a Halloween party? I am. But I'm definitely not inviting you. Yeah, I get that. All right, scary guy. I'll see you around. It's cashbacking season with Chase Freedom. Cards issued by JP Morgan Chase Bank. Any member FDIC. I'm massive shout out to a few of our champion tapas over at our Patreon. Some of our champion tapas watch a little live stream on Friday. They did. That's decorating something very top secret. Very top secret. Can't tell you about it.

24:31Emma Taylor. You might find about out about it in 2027. Fonda Haber. Haberie. Haberie. Mark that in your calendar. Emma Taylor. Good on you Emma. Diane Stegmula. Doesn't that sound like a type of dinosaur? Here we've got the Tyrannosaurus Rex and the Stegmula. I actually think it's the brand that makes the sink that little things in the plug. You're so right. Yeah. Or what they call that sink thing at IKEA. Yeah, did you get the Miele? No, I got the Stegmula. I got the Stegmula. Victoria Tameco also sounds like a great brand name. Do you got the Panasonic? No, I got the Tameco. Oh nice. Very nice. That is cool. Kirby and Tara. That's a kid's shop. That is a kid's shop. We're down and got one from Kirby and Tara. Yeah. Because it's like smiggle. Yeah. Yeah. Okay, this one. Shiana. That is women's loungewear. I was about to take, because it sounds like Susanne Gray. Yeah. Melissa Kay.

25:32Oh, very nice, cutlery. It definitely is all like little ceramic things you buy from Maya. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's a Melissa Kay. Isabel Dal? Oh, that is the beans. The curry. Yeah. Let the chickpea curry. Beatrice Spinette. Oh, that sounds like a really fancy salad spinner. Yeah. Don't you regulate? You put a Uletas in there and you do that. Oh, the Beatrice Spinette. That's awesome. If it's someone called Beatrice could also be really good at designing a wallpaper. Or rugs. So true. Yes. Yeah. You've nailed that. Fuck, you're on a fucking hot streak. Newt, this is our last one. Newt Weaver. Oh, they make hats for guys. Like they would make hats that say like San Diego Rifle Club. Or... Yeah, like Sunday Run Club. Yeah. Yep. Who's the brand to make those? Oh, that's the um... Newt Weaver. Yeah. Like he's the designer.

26:32I also could I enter one more into the options for Newt Weaver? Is that sink a Newt Weaver? Like a beautiful bathroom sink? Nah, you don't reckon. Nah, forget it. Wish it was dead. Yeah, I just think of everything we've just said about how bad sinks can be. I don't want to associate it with the tower. Sorry, Newt Weaver. No, that would never happen to that one because you wouldn't be using it. No, because that would be out of my price range. Thank you very much, being part of our Patreon. We love to say it. Oh, what? You doing your face? I've got something to say about kitchens. Okay, do you want to do it now? No, let's do the other thing. Yeah, but fuck me, it's actually not what I was even going to talk about. I've changed my mind at 18 times. No, that's right. Okay, let's do this first. Sure. We're coming to the Gold Coast. Live show on the Gold Coast. Live podcast recording on Sunday afternoon, January the 30th. 31st, 2pm. Whatever that Sunday is.

27:32So Sunday, June 31st, Jan 31st. Sunday, Jan 31st. This would never happen to Newt Weaver. No, wouldn't. Newt Weaver has won the Nobel Peace Prize. For what? Peace. Peace. Peace in the kitchen. Yeah, peace. For these new kitchen. Oh, peace and corn. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Oh, the toilet was blocked. Sorry, you had to do a piece in the sink. Anyway, sorry, we're doing another live show. You want this whole thing now, just a piece. Yeah. Um, we are coming to the Gold Coast. I thought we were already coming to the Gold Coast, but I've got some breaking news. Tony doesn't know the difference between the Gold Coast and Brisbane. And that's going to upset a lot of people. That's going to upset a lot of people. She still kind of refuses to believe they're not the same thing. Because they're both Queensland. Because when we went to Brisbane earlier this year,

28:36then that's more... We haven't been there this year. Yeah, when we went and we went to movie world and stuff. Gold Coast. Yeah, Gold Coast. Yeah, we went to Brisbane. Is that Gold Coast the way that we say chapter? Are you saying Gold Coast? What I'm telling you is that the Gold Coast and Brisbane are two different places. Hang on. They are both in Queensland. Oh, the map's not big enough. It is because there's crazy stuff on here. Fremantle is on this map. Okay. Okay, so I'm looking at Brisbane. Gold Coast not on here. Yeah. Is it North? No, it's South. So there's the Gold Coast. And then see that right at the top, that's Brisbane. Oh, it's the Brisbane. The Brisbane. Is Brisbane not on the sea? Not really. It's in like... It's close, but it's not a beachy town, yeah. So you know what? I thought it was because of the Gold Coast. No, because of the Gold Coast. I was thinking of the Gold Coast. I was thinking of the Gold Coast.

29:37So we already have a show at the Tivoli in Brisbane, the Sunday before. Yeah, sold out. Sold out. Right in there. For what is you driving? Being to Fortitude Valley before. Do you remember when we all dressed up as Harry Potter? Yeah, well. Yeah, I don't know. It was before. It was before, right? And we went to Brisbane. Do you remember the beach there? No. Because there isn't one. There isn't one. Do you know what we do? Do you remember that we swam in that fancy pool? And you know why we're in the pool? No beach. No beach available. You know why? Because it's not on the beach and it's not the Gold Coast. So do you accept that they are not the same place? Because I was like, let's, yeah, I was like, oh, extra Gold Coast show. In Tony's like, we're already doing one in Brisbane. I'm like, that's great for the people of Brisbane. Yeah, but it's not the same. And apparently, apparently, that I like that. Apparently, Brisbane and Gold Coast people don't like when people lump them in together. Well, both Brisbane and the Gold Coast have a rugby league team and an AFL team that play against each other because they are not the same team.

30:39The NFL. So no, not even close. Gold Coast. So we are coming once again to the Gold Coast. Gold Coast. Tony and Ryan.com.au, you can sign up register. Go to the wait list. Go to the wait list. And then in, it's going to be a week or so, we're still figuring out the details. But what I will say is please register and don't wait because Brisbane sold out in like 10 minutes, Adelaide sold out in 20 minutes. They go hot and I don't want you. If you really want to come, I don't want you to miss out. And Brisbane actually sold out so fast that we thought the website was broken. Like because people are, I can't add tickets to the thing. We were to my cart and we were like, oh my god, we're going to have to sort this out. Down here is on the blower straight away. He really is on the blower straight away. And they were like, no, you can't add a ticket to your cart because they're gone. So don't want you to miss out. Tony and Ryan.com.au. See you at the Gold Coast, which is not. Brisbane. But they are both in. Queensland. And you can get a train between them if you want to.

31:39It's up to you. So true. Yeah. Well, you can't anywhere with the, oh, I guess not. Not true. Not true at all. Can't get a train up. I can't get from here to Auckland. Can't get to Newcastle. On the train. So true. You can't because the fucking high speed rail. High speed rail. Fucking better. They're fucking better. Sydney the Newcastle. Dream stashed. Sydney the Newcastle should have a train. Like that's just. It's insane. That's fucked. That's fucked. On high speed. High speed. What's the, um, what's the drive between Brisbane and Gold Coast? And the hour. Because they both have an airport. That was crazy. Yeah. It is crazy. Like that's awesome. So it really is. It's two national airports. It really is two places. It really is. Yeah. Slavery for them. You know what you can't do though? You can't fly from Brisbane to the Gold Coast. Because they tell you to fuck off. It's two close. Oh, you can't fly between them. Well, I tried to book, well, I could look up if I could book it. And it was like, Brisbane to Sydney Sydney to the Gold Coast.

32:40Because it's like by the time you got up, you'd become a bit. Yeah. I mean, even Melbourne to Sydney is a bit of a piss-take. Oh, no, no, no, no. No, no, no. I'm just trying to join you in. Yeah. Someone fucking yes and may please. It's so true, babe. Thank you. Oh, don't bug me. You can't do a yes and with a babe. It negates the yes and. I want to talk about. That is maths. I want to talk about tourism and trains. I'm fucking. No, you said you were about to teach it. No, I'm back on, I'm on trains and transport. Oh, for the first time you'll have your own train. Because Starbucks can get fucked. What does Starbucks have to do with a train? At the Starbucks. Or have you changed again? At the Starbucks. At the Spencer Street station, the train station. Sullen Cross. It has to be your name. About 15 years ago. Glad I'm up to date. Sullen Cross station is probably the biggest station in Melbourne. Because that's the one that not only connects all of Melbourne, but like if you're going to get the train to Adelaide. To be long. Anywhere else. That's like the big main hub. So it ends up being a bit of a tourist hub because that's where you get on buses to go to fill up islands

33:42and this and that. It's also where the sky buses. Yeah. Like to get the bus back to the airport. Exactly. So there's heaps of people coming. You have been on the sky bus? 100%. Yeah. You've never been on the sky bus. I'm fucking alive. How much is it? $18.50. It's about 19. So that's pretty close. Yeah. Well, 5th plus J is 10. I'm in inflation these days. Yeah. Yeah. I see you coming. Yeah. Yeah. So Starbucks has gone, oh heaps of tourists around. I've got an idea. As well as selling venties and granades, we're also going to sell merch. But it's not like Starbucks merch. It's like Starbucks branded like Australian merch. Because if you're a tourist from overseas, oh, it says Melbourne on it. I do like that. Yeah. Yeah. And because you're in a touristy area, oh, that makes sense. Like people come here. Oh, but it's got a big koala on it. And it says Australia. And it's got a little Starbucks thing in the corner. Sure. It's a, that's a T-shirt. Is this a real piece of merch you're describing? Yeah.

34:43Like a bit like a branded mug. This you might already drink it. But it's like a takeaway mug. Yup. They do have like hats and stuff. Like there's a proper little merch stand in Starbucks. Oh, that's good. Also, is a touristy. That kind of shit. Yeah, I'm seeing Australia crossover Starbucks. Yeah. Is the weird thing about a huge basement about to burn a burn. No, and I can't wait to fucking hear it. But is the thing with Starbucks being in a touristy area because it doesn't do well in Melbourne anywhere else? Yeah, there was once 88. And now there are four. And they're all in the CBT. All in tourist areas. Like, yeah. Airport, middle of city. Yeah. I think there's one in Hawthorne next to the uni because international students love Starbucks. And because when we did the NFL thing the other day. Oh, yeah. There was like all the American presenters that were there with Netflix, some poor fucking intern. Rocks, so we've like 12 bags of Starbucks because obviously all the Americans are like, that's all we know. Yeah. And they had to drive past 57 cafes to get Starbucks because Brett Favre has them for beer.

35:44He drinks a fucking real coffee. Yeah. So anyway, sorry. Burn him down. Now there's Melbourne stuff. Yeah. There's Australia stuff. Yeah, which makes sense because we're in Melbourne, Australia. But they've gone, oh, there's a lot of international tourists. Why don't we put some Sydney stuff up? Why don't we throw a Brisbane in? Well, Brisbane and the Gold Coast are different places. Why don't we reference Quokkers and Rotterdam Islands? Okay, you fucking filthy meets off the WA Quok. I don't think you can sell city-based merch not in that city. They're being fucking greedy. What a hot take. That's amazing. Absolutely. Fucking not. Do you sell Brisbane merchandise in Melbourne? Fuck you. Now, and because often city-based merch is like proof, quote unquote, that you've been there. Yeah. And you haven't fucking been there.

36:45You've just been to the Starbucks of another city's train station. So you don't get to like stamp your passport a bunch of times in one and you go, oh, this is a five for one, true. Look at all the places I've been. Oh, Tony, have you been to Miami? No, but I have had a coffee in Texas. Yeah. Well, that's not the same fucking thing. Yeah, so I just bought the coffee cup from somewhere else. No, I think that's very fair. I think we've discussed this before, but I think it's the same area. You know how it's cool, and I do, it's cool, I like it. Are we talking about the apparel spritz stuff again? A little bit. Yes. No, because I'm right there with you, and I've got another example. A postard that's like Poster Tano. Yeah. A postard that's like Sicily, I'm like, you better if I can be in there. Yeah. You'd be better if not have just gone online and bought them because it looks cool. It's because if you haven't been there, you don't get to put that on your wall. If you don't like apparel spritzes, you don't get to put that on your t-shirt. The sardines. No. Yeah. I don't like sardines, so I'll not wear a sardine t-shirt. I actually will allow it if people want to do it. But I don't feel right doing it myself.

37:48Like I did not feel right wearing like a New York t-shirt. You know how that's kind of like? Yeah. Oh, you buy something from Cotton Island, but it says New York, fuck whatever. I never really felt right doing that. But now that I've been to New York, I'm like, this feels like it's fair game for me. I've been there. I've had some good times. People go sweet shirt and you go, fuck yeah, I love New York because I've been. Yeah. Yes. It's the same with wearing like a Yankee hat. I never felt right wearing one, so I bought one in New York in Times Square. I definitely bought a knockoff one paid full price, but it definitely isn't a little bit. If it's in New York, it's not a knockoff. No, it was at like a... If you're in the place, it's not a knockoff. You're right. Though it was a bad like merch and dot, like... That didn't take care of it. It's souvenir. You know what I'm saying? I think so. Yeah, cash only. Yeah. Yeah. And like, you know how the like, official like, baseball NFL stuff has like the holographic sticker on the inside. Yeah, there was. Well, that was just plastic. Yeah. That were... They're not a hologram inside.

38:49It's surprising they didn't have an NFL sticker considering it is a baseball team, so... Oh yeah. No biggie, it's on the inside of all the sport merch. You know what I mean? I'm trying my best. No one who gets at me. What is around? Have you guys fucking talked about this this morning before I got you know something and you went, piece or off? No. Oh yeah. No. We have. But I'm... You were in before me. That was awesome. Yeah. Well, so you guys were downstairs. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. But no, I agree with you. The multi-city merch that it's not a, where Melbourne is not a fucking one-stop shop for you to decide who you've been Australia. You know what I mean? I'm on your side. Oh, I know. I know. I know. No, you fucking. And I want to, yes, Angie. But that one has actually just... Okay, let me check. Because if you enter Melbourne, you would have been checked. Let me check. Let me check. Okay. Melbourne is not a one-stop shop

39:50to say you've been to all of Australia. So true. Yeah. So true. Oh. Gold Coast. Chapter. Preach. Merch. No. Merch is what I mean to say. Bible. What a... Oh, I totally love to see it. Oh, I've actually got a travel base. You love to see it. Great. This is from Tapa Lily, who sent me some Patreon. And Lily said, I'm currently on Contiki in Vietnam. And I make like little Tapa jokes here and there. That no one ever understands. Like saying, chapter, saying you love to see it. You know, things like that. Yeah. Oh, we need the horse photo. Somebody was talking about how it was raining. And they go, oh, when's the rain going to let up? And Tapa Lily said, who the fuck is Lorraine? At the exact same time as another girl on this random Contiki in Vietnam.

40:50Get the fuck out. They both then screamed, oh my god, you're a Tapa. Yes, and they both were. That's crazy. Lily says no one else had any idea what we were both talking about. But they're both Tapa's and they both have tickets to the Sydney live show. Really? Yeah. So they met in fucking Vietnam. They're both from Sydney and they're both coming to the live show. That's amazing. That's so amazing. We're going to get the marketing team on that Vietnam Sydney gateway. Yeah, that is. Yeah. Yeah. You were by Merch in both places. That's why. And they live close to each other in Sydney. But Lily said it's her first Tapa in the wild. And that is. And what a way to do it. That's why. What a way to do it. Contiki in Vietnam. Are we past that? Probably past it can take you. Yeah. Charles, you don't have to nod. So there's H. Like is H. It's too contiguous. I thought he was nodding as if to say where all past that. But you're nodding to say that us to a pasta.

41:51He's saying us. Is there actually H. Yes. 35. 35. 18. 30. OK, well, I'm fine then, Charles. Thank you very much. And I'll get a fake ID. I'm not 35, Charles. Deets, you turn 34 this year. Yeah. I'm going to say something. Yeah. Charles and I should go on a contiki. You've got 14 months to contiki or forever hold your peace. That's a really good point. I don't know how I feel about the fact that you'd have to walk on and go. I'm 34 and nine months. But they said, I'm like the cut off. Well, I booked it. I was under 35 when I booked it. Now they make the rules and you're in it. So you don't have to just. I work in that. Yeah. So we can go. Where do you want to go? If you don't know, I love it now. My thing before it did is contiki in Vietnam,

42:53like a different kind of Vietnam experience though. Probably because I just did. I always think contiki's just like nightclub sleeping, nightclub sleeping, sleeping with each other about. Yeah. That was to be married on contiki. Or do you like leave you ring at the door kind of thing? It's a bit like a troll you can't ball. Yeah. I'll pick that up when I leave again. Have you been on any contiki's where people have been married? Not married. There's couples. And there's definitely people come who are like, you know, relationship and then by the end they're not. Oh, no. Like, I'm sort of in a relationship and I'm going to commit to that in about 14 days time. I'm really sure. Sometimes you just got to go last ones away. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I wonder if contiki would be interested in advertising on half of the podcast. Half of us could do it. Well, it's actually very interesting. You brought that up because I've got some of the ones to sponsor the other half of the podcast. And it's senior life insurance.

43:54And it's Starbucks. Don't leave your family indebted to deal with your funeral. Planned out in advance. And for a monthly fee, there'll be peace of mind for your family when the day has come. Go to seniorslifeinsurance.com.au and use the code and rhyme. Or app. That is the funniest bit you've ever done. You're on fire. Now you're on fire. You got look in the barrel. We want to come to a contiki. Yeah. Come and fun with us. Put the code in nox for 10% off. Use hello 10 for $10 off. Any other ads anyone needs to get off? Charles, have you got anything you need to? No, but if you continue, you would like to sponsor very open to it. Yeah, I bet you would. The following one took time. To the day. Yes! That's crazy. Is that so they can track the farthest from wherever you end in after Italy?

44:55That was so much. That was so much. Not contiki. Different companies. I take everything back. I'm trying to run a business here. All right. We'll chat to you tomorrow. Do you want to do what you love to say? Did I not do one? No. I was just having so much fun with everyone else's. Charles, my microphone's fucked. Sorry. I'll just hold this until we dump. Do I have a you love to say prepared? Yep. Christy Dinsdale. What would chase you? Bons. Like a biker? Bons. Like we're animals. Bons. Bons. I mean like bons. No, that's bons. Yeah. Easy mistake to make. My husband and I were at Dan Murphy's the other day and the security guard. Don Murphy. What do they sell? Don's.

45:55They sell a darn good Murphy. The security guard was checking ideas of the quite young looking guys at the front of the store. Fair. Both of us mid 30s. Can't go on a contiki if you know what I mean. So true. That's how I've been. I've been referring to everybody I meet from now on. And they can take you age or not. And you have to decide whether they're 17 or 36. These were union trips at 35 to 45. That is so sad. That is sad. So depressing. So much divorce. I reckon that should be their angle. It is everyone must be divorced. And wouldn't that just be depressing? No, the opposite because you've got all these newly single people who have, you know, probably not had the best couple of years and they've just ready to let it off. And travel. We've dropped us.

46:56Oh, thank you, aged out of contiki. Not even close. We've dropped a stunning collection of trips made just 35 to 45. I think, dude, think about if you've been in a tough relationship for a year and a bit. Yeah, no, you've come out the end and you're like, I'm actually ready to turn one on. I'm 18 again. Yeah, and guess what? Everyone else here gets it because they're in the same boat as me. I reckon you're 1,000% right. Oh, there's one in Japan. I've been there. Greek Island hopping. Didn't know her name was Greek Island, but okay. You gandermal like you slander. You gandermal these titties. What happened to dead men? I don't think it matters. Now, Kristi Dinsdale, she was facing away from the security guard and the security guard goes, oh, excuse me, you're going to have to, and then she turns around and he goes, oh, no, it's fine.

47:57Now, Kristi could have taken this one of two ways. She could have been really offended, which she probably should have been. But instead she goes, good to know I look young from the back. And that's all that matters. And she's like, take the win. It's all Ryan sees me. Back on my head. I won't say the back of you anything on, because you're not old enough to come on my Kentucky tour. I'll become on your Kentucky tour. The divorcee Cruz. Wow. Divorce Cruz. Not as grim as it sounds. I'm ready to do right. See. That's good. That is good. That's very good. Oh, you've had a tough time and you want to get back on the wagon. Why don't you sail the divorcee? Sail the seven seas. Yeah. Yeah, all right. Haven't met any new semen in a while. Need some new loads. Sorry, this is broken. Love you.

48:58See ya. I think I'm going to stop going. It's a really good idea. Can I go on at not the rules? Yeah. Just start your ring off. Oh, already ready. Already ready. I lost it in the back of a taxi. Yeah, the duck. And it's a privilege every time. It really is. Love you. Bye. Kevin Hart here in this cashbacking season. I'm getting scary amounts of cash back on all my Halloween stuff. Hello, Kevin. No, no, no, no. I know what this is. Do you like scary movies? Well, have you seen my movies? Yeah, big fan. Just wanted to know what you cash back done with Chase Freedom. Oh, man. No, I cash back on pumpkins. Cashback on costumes. Cashback on candy. So are you having a Halloween party? I am. But I'm definitely not inviting you. Yeah, I get that. All right, scary guy. I'll see you around. It's cashbacking season with Chase Freedom. Cards issued by JP Morgan Chase Bank. Any member FDIC. So you're not worried about hosting the whole family for the holidays? Why would I be? Wayfair had everything I needed to get the house holiday ready.

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