Riff 81

The discussion begins, as many serious human endeavors do, with people trying to control their breathing without passing out. Singing is explained through comparisons to instruments, which is comforting if you have ever wondered whether your lungs are basically a woodwind section. This leads directly, and quite logically, to the term “recorderist,” which sounds less like a musician and more like a person who files complaints. We discuss the philosophy behind the invention of the one note flute.

The conversation pivots to attractiveness, because no discussion of airflow is complete without ranking humans. There is an earnest attempt to determine whether glasses, clothing, or accessories make someone more attractive, as if beauty operates like a sandwich where adding the right topping suddenly solves everything. This collapses into a debate about celebrity “hot lists,” which appear to be based on a complex system involving fame, timing, and the ability to wear unusual outfits without being stopped by security.

There is a deep investigation into how Grape-Nuts absorb liquid, which is the kind of research normally conducted by scientists or people who own bowls. This expands into soaking cereals on purpose and eventually into recipes like cereal milk waffle cakes, suggesting that at some point mankind looked at breakfast and thought, “What if this required more steps?”

Just when it seems like things cannot become more structured, the discussion turns to biblical references, including Ezekiel bread and the frankly concerning punishments assigned to prophets.

Then the strategy of “hiding in plain sight” is explored, accomplished by doing normal things in a slightly more deliberate way. This is followed by weddings, tuxedos, and the realization that formal attire is governed by rules and we don't know who wrote them. 

The episode wraps with stories from teachers and band rooms, where discipline, performance, and wildly exaggerated punishments combine into a kind of educational theater without the education.