Richard Diamond, Private Detective: The Carnival Case 08/16/1950

0:00Welcome to Choice Classic Radio, where we bring to you the greatest old-time radio shows. Like us on Facebook, subscribe to us on YouTube, and thank you for donating at choiceclassicradio.com. Music Good evening. This is your Rexall family drugist speaking to you for the 10,000 independent drugists who have made the word Rexall part of our own store names.

1:03We've done that because we recommend and sell the 2000 or more drug products made with the Rexall drug company. Like pleniments, for example, Rexall's famous multi-vitamin capsules. Two pleniments a day give you more than your daily minimum requirement of every vitamin for which such requirements have been established. Plus, valuable liver concentrate and iron. What's more, pleniments cost you only pennies per day. Ask for pleniments at Rexall drug stores everywhere, and remember, you can depend on any drug product that bears the name Rexall. Good health to all from Rexall. Now your Rexall family drugist brings you a transcribed half-hour with Richard Diamond, private detective, starring Dick Powell. Time of detective agency. We trail them, we nail them, if they're guilty, we jail them. No charge for poetry.

2:08Oh no, at your guest for the shoulder holds. Hello, Helen, baby. Rick, guess what's in town? Unless I win something, I give up. The carnival. Well, is the balloon concession tied up yet? Oh, Rick, I'm serious. I haven't been to a carnival since I was little. Let's go tonight. You mean peanuts, popcorn, cracker-jacks, and all that? Yes! Sounds awful. Oh, now, Rick. Please. Okay, honey, I'll be around a date. Shall I wear my knickers? Rick. That night I picked up Helen, we went to the carnival. There were more people on the midway than Rexall has stores, and we got pushed so much I felt like the tax bill in Congress. Helen decided she wanted a coupé doll, so we stopped at the shooting gallery. Hey, that's pretty good shooting. Just three marbles as you want to die.

3:10Well, here's your doll. Well, do you ever let a shoot like that? At the ski club. Would you like to try a shot, Rick? No thanks. Come on. Oh, Rick isn't a doll. Cute. And now, I'll be in the base and then prove of my statement. I'll ask him to step out here. And here he is, ladies and gentlemen, the one and only, Samson, the strong man. Step right up, folks. He'll thrill you with his amazing feats of strength. Now, crowd ride in. Don't be shocked. There is no... Standing on the platform, the biggest collection of muscles I'd ever seen. Samson looks like an overgrown orangutan, and at least three tigers had contributed their all to the loincloth. They wore around his little. Samson, the great. And now, our sanitation offer. $100 to any man who will step up here, and defy the mighty Samson to put him to sleep by squeezing his chest. Now, it is harm, it's my friend. Then, if any one of you, daring gentleman, think the mighty one, cannot put you to sleep with a mere squeeze, then step right up. If Samson fails, then $100 is your...

4:11Well, Rick, what? Don't you want to show off? Not my inside. Rick, you mean you're afraid, Jessica, let him squeeze? Honey, I'm afraid to let him breathe on me. Come on, let's go see that fortune teller. I stared Helen toward the next booth before she could talk me into anything my bones would regret tomorrow. The sign outside the tent red, Madame Tanja, your past, your present, your future. And inside, we found Madame T staring intently into a crystal ball. She wore gypsy clothes and a heavy makeup that covered what might have been very lovely features. Welcome to the inner sanctum. Hmm, haven't I heard you on the radio? She didn't crack a smile and I didn't exactly blame her. She motioned us in the chairs around the crystal. The room was decorated about the same motif as the tattooed lady, and would have impressed a man with a bad case of DTs. Madame Tanja went back to staring at the crystals, so I followed suit.

5:12I couldn't see a thing in the glass ball, but... And maybe she picked up television on clear night. The crystal grows dim. I can see that you are both very much in love. Welcome on. It is good. This man adores you. He worships you. He idolizes you. Wake me up when I propose. You are an unbeliever? Oh, let's be modern, a messinic. The crystal does not lie. But to make certain, I will consult the card. She picked up a deck that was too big for poker and too small for Kanasta. I should pay to watch a girl play solitaire. I nudged Helen and we were about to leave when a tall, thin young man pushed back to Kanasta's flap and walked in. Hey, Tony, I just... I didn't know you were busy. Excuse me. The boy pushed back the flap to go out and then made a sharp, girly noise in his throat. He doubled with pain and fell to the floor.

6:12Even from where I was sitting, I could see the big ugly bullet hole in his chest. Don't scream, we'll have the whole crowd in here. Sandbag coming. If he hurt bad. You don't need a crystal ball for this, honey. He's dead. Even under the heavy makeup, I could see her face turned pale. I sent Helen to call the police and then I looked around outside. The killer had either used a silencer or else the shot was not heard in the confusion. Twenty minutes later, Lieutenant Max Talbert arrived, followed by Sergeant Otis wearing his hop-along Cassidy badge. All right, Rick. Well, hello, Max. Where's Walt Levinson? He's on vacation, Rick. I've taken over his cases. Also, his problems, I see. Hello, Waltis. Hi, Shumus. So there's been another murder, huh? And you just happened to be here. Sounds suspicious to me. Oh, then why don't you stick your head through a piece of canvas and let people throw baseballs at it? And get my branch knocked out? Oh, no. Why not? Got nothing to lose. Rick, Miss Asher told me over the phone what happened. Sounds like we'll be looking for a needle in a haystack.

7:14You want to work on the case with us? Not particularly. I just happened to be here. That's all. Yeah. I still think that's awful funny. Otis, I'll send you my confession in the morning. So long, Max. It's not that I wasn't interested in the case. I was. But in my business, you can't poke your head into murder on a graphics basis. So I took Helen home. The next morning, I went to my office as usual, and then around 10 o'clock I had a visitor. Mr. Diamond, I need your help. Well, thank my lucky stars. Sit down. Thank you. She looked like a well-dressed lady good diver, minus horse. I stifled a drool as she sat down, and then I realized that I'd seen her before. This was Madam Tanya, minus the heavy makeup, Gypsy Garb and the phony accent. It's about last night's murder. You see, it's not the first. Four men have been killed within a year. All because of me.

8:14Go on. My real name is Tony Larn. About a year ago, a boy I knew asked me for a date, and we went out. Next day, he was killed. There were two more after that who showed an interest in me. They both died too. It's getting so every time a man looks at me twice, he's murdered. Well, it's a pleasant way to die. But what about this kid last night? Well, he'd asked me for a day to the small party we had after the show one night. He worked in the show, but I hardly even knew him. I see. Did you tell Lieutenant Talbot all this? Oh, yes. He says he'll have to make a systematic check on everyone on the show. That could take months. Yes, it could. Talbot's a good cop, though. Why'd you come to me? I want you to go back to the lock with me. I'll arrange to get you a job there. Honey, I got a job. I'm a private detective. Oh, I know. I'll pay you what you ask. Oh, well, that understanding will just continue. Well, maybe working undercover, you'll be able to find out who's behind all this. Well, I... Oh, I'm sure it'll work. I'll get your job as Barker for the girl show.

9:16You know, I've always wanted to run away with the girl show. We drove back to the Conteville and I became Rick Diamond Boy Speeler. The kid who was murdered last night had asked Tony for a day to the small party. Never only three other people at that party, and it seemed logical that one of them was the killer. First on the party list was Chuckles, the clown. Tony took me over to his trailer. Here we are. I think you like Chuckles. He's got a great sense of humor. Tony, come on in. Can't stay long, Chuckles. I want you to meet Rick Diamond. He's a new Barker on the girl show, and the boss wants to meet introducing to everyone. Well, any friend of Tony's is a friend of mine. Glad to know you, Rick. How are you, Chuckles? Yeah, oh, yes, fine. So you got the job with the Chakers, huh? You ever barked before? Only at pet shows. Oh, well, you'll do a good business over there. Only old folkies go to see Karen. She's the head and shaker.

10:17Is that all she shakes? Hey, hey, that's pretty good. Put some gags in your pitch. The crowd eats it up. We'd better go, Rick. You start to work soon. Yeah, well, drop around anytime, huh? Number two on the suspect list was Samson, the strong man. I remembered him from last night and took a last look at my fingers as we shook hands. Glad to meet you. Do you wrestle? No, but I'm a demon with Jackson. Oh, I can't find no one around here to play with. Oh, you poor kid. If you try the Lion Case. Rick's gonna pitch the girl show, Samson. Now, for which, no fun? Hey, look kid, you work out with me. And someday you can be a strong man too. Well, that's a tempting offer, but I'm afraid I'm just a natural born sissy. Well, if you change your mind, come around and... And you'll change my posture, I know. Glad to met you, Samson. So long. Playful little character. He's really very nice. Hey, let's stop here for a hot dog. Good. My favorite meal. Give the man a cook one, Maisie.

11:18You're saying, Tony. Loaded with onions, honey. No date tonight. Aren't you hungry, Tony? Uh-uh. I've got a change for my axon. Tell me, uh, how did the pretty girl like you get tied down to a crystal ball? Oh, I don't know. I grew up on shows. Mom and dad were wire walkers. Well, I don't like high places, so I decided to be an actress. Mm-hmm. Well, after a few feeble stage attempts, I came back here. Now you do your acting in a tent. That's right. These murders aren't solved soon. I'll be on the move again. Those, uh, those two characters we just met. Do you think one of them might be the killer? I don't know. They've always been friendly with me, but... Well, they did overhear that boy ask me for the date. Karen was there, too. Oh, yes. The shaker, as Chuckles put it. You'll probably meet her later on. She's always quick to discover a new man. Well, I can hardly wait. Say, I'd better get back. I'll see you after the show tonight. The armistice's got enough onions to keep you out of circulation for a week. Tony walked away, stopped, turned, and gave me a smile.

12:20That made me feel warmer than the hot dog I began munching. He was a very pretty girl. Pretty enough for someone to kill any man she got interested in. And that someone was either a clown, a strong man, or a hoolad dancer. Yeah, I was quite a miss, and here I was in the middle of it. But his PT-barnum always said, as a sucker born every minute. Before we continue with the adventures of Richard Diamond, private detective, here's your Rexall family drugest. Whenever you develop a simple headache, what's the first thing you think of for fast relief? Why, aspirin, of course. Right. But it's also smart to think one step further and choose Rexall aspirin. Give me three good reasons why. Okay. First, every Rexall aspirin tablet contains five full grains of pure aspirin.

13:22Second, there is no faster acting aspirin made. What do you mean by that? I mean that when taken with water, a Rexall aspirin tablet is ready to go to work for you, even before it reaches your stomach. Sounds swell so far. What's the third reason? Just this. In the economy size, 200 tablet bottle, Rexall aspirin costs you little more than three tenths of a cent per tablet. That, I'll remember. Remember this also. You can depend on any drug product that bears the name Rexall. And now back to tonight's adventure with Richard Diamond, private detective, starring Dick Powell. Every, every, hurry, step right up and see Karen and her friend. Come on, boys, don't be back. Put your wives on the first wheel, drawn in. Get away from me, son, your brother. Only one tenth of a dollar for fifteen cents in your own set.

14:24You'll see Karen, the blonde bombshell. At night, I yelled my head off. The father was heavy and the men poured into the tent until they were spending room on me. I looked at my watch and saw that I had four more hours to go. So I warned my tonsils and kept right at it. My mistake, Miss Dick Powell. Four hours later, I felt like a politician and had a voice like Andy Devine. Tony met me after the crowds had left and we had a coke. Tired? Tired? Me? Oh, no, thirty-seven hours sleep and I'll be as good as new. You'll get used to it. Oh, do I have to? I thought the girl's show would be great, but they're inside. I'm outside. Well, you'll meet Karen soon. Not some consolation. No, I'm saying. Well, I think of it. Maybe we'd better not be seen together so much. I got a great affection for life. Yeah, I thought of that. You'd better go on from here alone. But Ricky, be careful.

15:25I gave her my, for you I will look and then she left. I had been assigned a bunk in one of the trailers. It was about the head toward it when something grabbed my arm. At first, I thought one of the snakes had left the charmer's neck. But this one had long blonde hair. Hi, my name's Karen. You got a match. I'd heard the match line in a movie, but what this guy carried around could never pass the sensor board. I'd been singing her praises all evening and now I could see that I'd been guilty of understatement. Thanks. Oh, that's all right. I'm loaded with him. Hey, you're cute. The last guy had a lousy voice, but you're cute. What's your name? Diamond, you can call me Rick. You want to buy me a coke? Sure. Don't ever mind. I just wanted to see if you wanted to. Well, any more party games up your sleeve? Oh, sure. Lots more.

16:25I've seen you with Tony. You like her. Well, shouldn't I? I don't know. Only the way things have been happening that ain't so healthy. So I heard you like her. She's all right. Burns me though, she makes more dough and I do and she's strictly no talent. She just makes up some stories. Now me, I give the boys the money's worth. Well, I bet you do. You know, I bet we get along real swell. You and me. Well, I hope we do. You know, there's nothing but jerks around here. You look sort of like a gentleman. Sorry, I'm just tired. Well, I like it. You want to take me into town, go dance with? Well, I'm all worn out tonight. Well, I don't really want to go. Just want to know if you like to take me. Oh, we're back at that. Yes, I would like to take you. Good. I'll see you tonight's night for a walk.

17:25Would you like to? Let's not go round again. Say you're awful cute. Good night. That night I went to bed with a lot of my mind and a nice packer on my neck. I was after a murderer who left no clues. The only apparent motive was to keep men away from Tony. Chuckles are Samson. Maybe they were in love with Tony. On the other hand, Karen might be jealous enough of Tony to commit murder. I didn't come cheap that night just caricature. Next morning, while I was roaming around the carnival grounds, I found tuckles setting on the steps of his trailer, so I'm a bright colored costume. Well, hi there. Sit down. Thanks. Hey, you're pretty handy with that needle. Oh, you've got to be. How did go last night? Well, I'm a little better, but I'm in no condition for a cigarette test. I'm glad I don't have real my lungs out every night. I just stand around and let people laugh at me.

18:26I have a friend named Otis who does the very same thing. Say you should have been around yesterday if you like excitement. Guy was murdered. Oh, what happened? Somebody shot him. Seems like the only reason was because he liked Tony. You mean the girl who showed me around yesterday? Yeah, that's you. Oh, I guess not many guys give her the eye. No. There's one fellow that kind of likes you. The little guy with the name of Leonide. Oh? He don't work here no more. He's on another show. Tony and him ride a lot though. I want always mail in letters for him. Well, maybe they're just friends. Yeah, that's what she says. He worked on this show before I came over here. I don't really know him, but I bet there's something between those two. Maybe he's the one behind all this. Good be. Well, it's not good to poke your nose in other people's business. You're telling me. Well, I guess I'll look over the show. Yeah, well, drop around anytime. I left Shokkotsen and wandered on up the midway. About half past the merry-go-round around the Karen, the curved cram kid. Hi, Hanson. Hi, yourself.

19:26You know, I dreamed about you last night. You do wonders for my ego. You do wonders for my dream. Care if I walk along with you? Not at all. Karen, you know a guy named Leonide. Oh, sure. He used to work here. Why, why do you ask? Well, I've already might be interested in Tony. That's risky business, you know. Tony and Leonide? No, no. Somebody's pulling your legs. Oh, right. I didn't know you had company. Hello, Karen. Hi. I just thought I'd see if you were getting lung alright, Rick. He's in good hand. That's all a matter of opinion, dear. Look, why don't you girls amuse yourselves while I make a phone call. Karen, you do the shemmy while Tony tells you fortune. I'll be right back. Both girls are exchanging icy stairs as I am pulled up my coat collar and walked away. So far, I'd accomplished nothing. And the case was still as mixed up as a chef salad.

20:26I call Max as if he'd uncovered anything on the latest murder. Homicide, what kind of tower we're speaking? Max is Rick. How are you coming on that circus murder? Rick, what a headache. Can't screw you every minute. I know, the fortune teller hired me. Oh, and then you know him as much as I do. And there's one new development, no? Well, don't be greedy, Grandpa. Shoot. That's what someone else did last night. And a guy by the name of Leonardo. Leonardo, the guy Tuckos told me about. The one who liked Tony. Max filled in with the details. The killer had written a letter to Leonardo and told him to come to a hotel room in the city because Tony was sick and had been asking for him. Then the killer rigged up a gun trap so that when Leonardo opened the door, the gun would go off and kill him. Only Leonardo was still alive. The killer had made one mistake. I thanked Max and went back to Tony's tent.

21:28Certain I could use that mistake to my advantage. Hello, Rick. Where did little Miss Wiggle hips go? I don't think she liked your leaving her. She went back to her trailer. Good. Tony, you told me that only three people were present at the party when Bruce asked you for the date. Are you certain of that? Why, yeah. Just Samson, Chuckles, and Karen. They dropped you in after the show and we had coffee. Well, I want you to invite our three friends over again after the show tonight. Will you do that? Well, yeah, but I don't understand. I went back to the girl's show and began my afternoon pitch. That evening I went through it again and then around midnight I went to the party in Tony's tent. They were all three there when I entered. Sit over here, honey. Thanks, Karen. Hi, weekly. Oh, please, Samson. I'm sensitive. You should have seen the matinee today. We did up bang up routine and the crowd ate it up. We did the oldenware. We all piled in with Kurt. You know, he... They were all relaxed and I decided it was time to try my long shot.

22:29Chuckles was just finishing his story. I took a deep breath and crossed my fingers. Back and then we all piled out of this little Kurt. The oldest chicken in the book, but they loved it. Chuckles, remember that guy you told me about the other day? I think his name was Leonide. Sure, what about him? Who nothing? I was just curious. Did you know him, Samson? You know him. Why Leonide used to room together where he worked here? Him and me is the best of buddies. And you, Karen. You said earlier that you knew him, right? Yeah, but I didn't think he was so great. He was nothing but a piss. You can't talk that way about my buddy. Oh, Samson, please. This is a party. Yeah, take it easy, Muscles. Now let's see, you both knew Leonide. That lets you out and leaves only Chuckles. You said earlier that you joined the show after Leonide left. Didn't you, Chuckles? Yeah, say my all these questions about Leonide. Because you tried to kill him last night. You thought there was something between Tony and him. What's this? It's a joke, that's all.

23:29Yes, Clown, but the jokes aren't you. You're the only one who didn't know Leonide. The only one who would rig up a gun trap the way you did. What are you? What are you getting there? Well, Leonide opened the door, the bully went over his head. Well, over his head! That's right. You rigged the trap to shoot a normal-sized man. You were the only one here who didn't know Leonide. He didn't know he was a midget. You were kidding me. He's a midget. That's right. Still feel like a laving. Wait, wait, wait, wait. It's on me. It's the jokes on me. You tried to kill my little pal. And there wasn't anything between Tony and him, huh? And just friends, like she said. You know what a laugh of midget. Why are you dirty? Take it easy, Samson. To the Leo's, my pal. I'll kill this bum when he wakes up. Never mind, friend. That's the job for the state.

24:33And so dear Helen, my life, with a carnival ended, and I have come back to you. Beaten, perhaps, but ready to continue my valiant fight against the forces of evil. Justice must prevail. Truth must march ahead to... Oh, Rick. Quiet, I'm auditioning for Porsche Faces Live. Rick. Hmm. Was that Karen Prison pretty? Hmm. Hmm. What? I'm not sure. I'm not sure. Hmm. Hmm. What kind of a dance did she do? Well, she started by a... And then she... Well... Oh. One of those. Hmm. Only more so. Well, I hope you enjoyed yourself. Helen, you're so thoughtful. Rick. Yes, baby. I wonder how I'd be doing that. Doing what? Helen, please. This is more your type.

26:28I can say. So that's my type, is it? Come here. Hmm. Wow. Well. Oh, I guess a man's entitled to change his tune. Again, here's your Rexall family drugus. Tonight I'd like to say a special word to users of mineral oil. I know that what you search for is one with an extra heavy body. Well, Rexall mineral oil is refined by a special process to obtain just that. And because it's so exceptionally pure and bland, Rexall mineral oil is non-irritating and non-habit forming. What's more, it's tasteless, odorless, colorless. Next time try Rexall mineral oil.

27:29And remember, you can depend on any drug product that bears the name Rexall. Good health to all from Rexall. Rexall Richard Diamond, private detective, stars Dick Powell in the title role and is written by Richard Carr. But music composed and conducted by Frank Worth. featured in tonight's cast were Virginia Greg, Bill Johnstone, Wilms Herbert, Lucille Meredith, Parley Bayer, Joe Duval and Joe Gilbert. Richard Diamond, private detective, is transcribed in Hollywood by Jaime Del Valle. This is Bill Foreman inviting you to be with us next Wednesday at this time when we will again bring you Dick Powell as Richard Diamond, private detective.

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