r/OffMyChest - He CHEATED So I Deleted His Career!

0:00Close your eyes, exhale, fill your body, relax, and let go of whatever you're carrying today. Well, I'm letting go of the worry that I wouldn't get my new contacts in time for this class. I got them delivered free from 1800 contacts. Oh my gosh, they're so fast. And breathe. Oh, sorry. I almost couldn't breathe when I saw the discount they gave me on my first order. Oh, sorry. Namaste. Visit 1-800-contacts.com today to save on your first order. 1-800-contacts. This episode is brought to you by Nespresso. Introducing Virtuo Up, the latest and a long line of innovation from Nespresso. It's innovation you can touch, sense, and taste in every single cup. With a three-second start, easy open lever, and dedicated brew over ice button, it's even easier to enjoy your coffee your way. Sit for yourself, shop Virtuo Up exclusively at Nespresso.com. Hello, and welcome back to Karma Stories.

1:00I'm Rob, and I hope you are having a wonderful day today. Today, I have some stories for you from the Off My Chest subreddit. Now, this is a subreddit we don't touch on very often because the views have historically been lower. But what I'd like to see this time is that maybe you could comment after each story and let me know what you thought about each individual story. And that might push it out into the YouTube algorithm. We'll see how it goes. But with that out of the way, let's go ahead and jump right in. This story comes to us from Interesting Car 4732. My ex-husband got fired and humiliated because of something I did. I, female 45, work at a private university as a professor. At the university where I teach because I'm an alumnus, I know many of the administrators and faculty. The university has grown since I was a student and has more students now. I've been working at the university for about six years when my now ex-husband lost his job as an administrator at another university.

2:02We've been married for about a year. The story he told me was that the dean of the university he worked at had it out for him because he was more focused on the quality of the education rather than on the profit. I supported and believed him because he'd never given me a reason to doubt him. He found a job as a professor but wasn't making much money. So he asked me if I'd mind if he applied to the same university I worked at. I said, sure, go ahead. He did. Soon after, I got a call from HR since he listed me as a referral without telling me. I disclosed that we were married, therefore, I might not be the best person to ask. Not unbiased, the woman in HR who'd actually went to school with me, laughed, thanked me, and said that if he was my husband, then there'd be no problem. He got the job and I was really happy for him since that would help our economy as a couple starting our lives together. Before this, I was making more money than him and the budget was really tight.

3:03With his increased paycheck, I believed that we could be more comfortable. Soon after he started working at the university, he began to exclude me from social gatherings with his friends. When we had university events, teachers day, Christmas parties, he made excuses to arrive and leave separately. He's a loud extrovert and quickly became buddy buddy with the administrative department of our school. That's how it works in our country. He soon started teaching more classes and was given more hours. With his extra income, he bought a luxury car and asked me to charge it to my credit card. He would make the payments since his credit score was in the gutter. I told him that I didn't agree with the purchase, especially since we had been talking about saving for the down payment for a house. He went behind my back and asked his mother, lovely lady, and the only thing I missed after the divorce, to put it on her credit. She agreed because she had no idea about our savings plans, or that I was the main contributor to our finances.

4:03After roughly two years, our relationship had become stagnant. We were more roommates than a couple. This really hurt me since I believe we complemented each other, me grounding him, and him bringing me out of my shell. I'm more of an introvert. I suggested couples counseling and he said yes, but during our second consultation, he told the therapist he was doing no work to improve the relationship and didn't know if it was worth the effort. That broke my heart. I was ready to separate, but he asked me for more time. Because it was only our second session, I agreed to wait and to continue to work in the relationship. Soon after, a good friend of his, just friendly with me, but very kind and grounded, asked me about us opening up the relationship. I asked him what the heck he meant by that. He said that he wanted to ask because it didn't sound like me. That day, I learned two things. One, my husband had been telling people we had an open relationship,

5:03but that I didn't feel comfortable talking about it. Two, there was a rumor at the university where we worked together that he was hitting on the female students. I specified because soon into the relationship, he shared that he's by. It was no big deal for me. I felt the ground shift underneath me. I reached out to other colleagues. I confirmed that my ex had told them that we had an open relationship, but I couldn't confirm the rumor about him hitting on the students. Still, the lie about us opening the relationship was enough for me to want to end things. I talked to my family and my sister agreed to help me move out of our place as soon as possible. I confronted my ex and he denied it, asking me to believe him and to stay together. But I told him no and stopped talking to him. It took me a few days to find a new place since I agreed to be the one to leave, with the condition that I would take our dog with me. He said yes, our dog loved me more anyway and needed a lot of attention and care.

6:06And he stayed in the apartment. The lease was in my name. Again, he had a crappy credit score. But the landlord agreed to change it to his name since we've been there for about three years, and the rent had always been paid on time. Since we had no children, getting a divorce was not complicated. I decided to talk to the university administrators and report what I knew, but I had no evidence and was the, in their eyes, bitter ex. In my country, most of the time, women get blamed when there is harassment. It was insinuated that since my husband is good looking and extroverted, the students might have been the ones hitting on him. The power dynamic was ignored, and I was asked not to spread rumors that could harm the university's reputation. Next semester, I was informed via email that the number of classes I would teach had been cut down. Because I couldn't afford to quit, I stayed. It was painful to witness my ex-husband being praised and considered for tenure.

7:06He was still very popular and friendly with students and administrators. With more free time, I started to invest in my private practice and started to grow it. A colleague noticed and asked me to become business partners, we launched our own brand and are doing really well. I started working on myself, continued therapy, and reached out to old friends who really loved me. Some of them confessed that they never really liked my ex-husband, but because I seemed really happy, they hadn't said anything. My support network grew and my family continued to be my main source for comfort. After a year, I got a call from another teacher, let's call him Daniel. Daniel asked me to meet with him to talk about something sensitive. I agreed because he was one of the younger teachers, and I'd been asked to unofficially mentor him when he started teaching. Over coffee, Daniel told me that for several weeks, he'd been trying to reach higher authorities to report my ex-husband. Every time he tried, he was asked to back down and was told not to stir the pot.

8:09He tried to talk to the vice dean, but getting an appointment had not been easy. He confessed that he had tried to report my ex in the past, around the same time I had reported him, but had given up since he'd been ignored and also didn't have evidence. This time, it was different. The university was setting up a workshop about harassment, and someone had asked my ex to be the one to set it up and manage complaints. Daniel also told me that he'd heard my ex was dating a woman at another university, who happened to be his student. This was no longer an unconfirmed rumor. Social media was evidence enough. I did something I'd been reluctant to do in the past. I called the vice dean. I know her personally, and I knew I could reach her, but I had never abused the privilege trying to maintain a professional boundary. The reason I hadn't called her in the past was that as much as I believed that my ex was hitting on the female students, it was still something someone had heard from someone else and told me.

9:11The dean agreed to meet me the next week. Daniel and I met with her and shared what we knew. She only agreed to open an investigation that is all she could do, really, and tried to reach the students who could report my ex. I was excluded from the inquiry since as the ex I was not unbiased, and anything I could say could be called into question. It took about a month, but evidence surfaced. Male students reported that my ex had tried to be overly friendly with them, commenting on how hot some of the girls in the class were, making them really uncomfortable. Female students showed text threads where my ex asked them out, and harassed them even after being declined several times. It became quite the scandal that was a disciplinary meeting where he was fired on the spot and had to be escorted off the grounds by security. This had a domino effect, and my ex ended up being fired from at least one other university. Also, his girlfriend student broke up with him after he lost his job.

10:11I wish I could say that I'm sorry for him, but all I can say is that Karma did her best. It's been around seven years since then. The reason I'm posting this now is that a week ago, when I was at a party, someone asked me where I work. I mentioned the name of the university, and the person told me he's a former student. We talked some more, and suddenly he started to laugh. He'd been drinking, took out his phone, and asked me if I knew about this hilarious story about a former teacher who used to harass his students. He showed me some of the cringy messages he sent the girls. I was embarrassed and did not disclose that I was his ex. Apparently, he's known for being a creep who likes really young girls. I feel sorry for his family who were nothing but nice to me, but I don't feel sorry that his reputation got destroyed. Anyway, this is the story of that thing I did that started the ball rolling and ended up getting my ex fired.

11:11OP's husband sounds like a sleazy guy that really shouldn't be around any students at all in any kind of educational setting. Actually, you know what? They shouldn't be around younger people period. Now, one thing I found interesting on this story is at the beginning, OP gave their age, female 45, but they never told us the age of their husband. Would anybody like to place bets that the husband was a lot older than OP? I have a feeling OP was one of the younger ladies that the husband was hitting on, and I believe that part was left out on purpose. But I'd love to know what you all think on this one, so if you're on YouTube or on Spotify, please drop a comment and let me know your thoughts. Spring is here, and there's a whole new way to try at Starbucks that's made perfect for you. Choose your sweetness, dial it up, or keep things light. Add a touch of pistachio, a hint of strawberry, or vanilla,

12:13or make it a spring classic with lavender. Because this season, there's endless ways to try at Starbucks. There's a world where legends race across city skylines. Romance blossoms in glittering ballrooms, and there's magic around every corner. It's a world known to many as Great Britain. You've seen the action on screen. Now visit the real star of the show, visit Great Britain. To discover more, go to TripAdvisor.com slash Great Britain. This story comes to us from Kubrador. My wife asked if I still love her last month. I hesitated. Me and my wife have been together for six years, married for three. We met at a friend's birthday party, and I spilled beer on her dress trying to be smooth. She still brings it up. We were that couple for a while. About three years ago, I started a company.

13:14She was my biggest supporter. She believed in it before I did, honestly. She'd stay up with me when I was stressed, bring me food when I forgot to eat, talk me off the ledge when things got bad. She used to say, I'm investing in you. Whenever I felt guilty about how much time I was spending on it. I don't know when things changed. It wasn't one moment. I just slowly disappeared, I guess. Last month, we were on the couch. She was watching the bear. Her third rewatch. She loves that show. I was on my laptop doing work stuff, refreshing my email every 30 seconds, waiting on someone who's probably never going to respond. She paused it. I didn't notice for like 10 seconds. Do you even want to be here right now? I looked up. She was crying. I have no idea how long she'd been crying. She said that she feels like she's living with my LinkedIn profile. She said her sister was pregnant, and she'd told me two weeks before that, and I said that's great, and then asked where my charger was.

14:16I don't remember that conversation, but I believe her. She said there's a guy at work who keeps asking her to get coffee. She said no every time, but she's thought about saying yes, just because he asks how I'm doing, and actually waits for the answer. I don't know, man. That one effed me up. We talked until almost 3 a.m. I found out her best friend was getting divorced, had been going on for over a month. She'd had a weird mole removed a week before. Didn't tell me about the appointment, because she figured I wouldn't remember anyway. She'd gotten promoted back in October. I asked why she didn't tell me any of this. She said I did, you just weren't listening. She made me coffee the next morning without me asking. She hadn't done that in months. I almost lost it over a cup of coffee like a psycho. I blocked off my evenings after that. No work after seven. I've had to reschedule things, but I've been doing it. I don't really know why I'm posting this.

15:18I guess I just needed to say it somewhere. She was my biggest supporter for three years, and I repaid her by disappearing. She was grieving me while I was sitting right next to her. It's been a month. The evenings are still blocked. We watched the bear together last week, the whole episode. I didn't check my phone once. I don't know if I fixed it, but I think we're getting somewhere. Jumping down to the comments on this one we have one from a user called Misa OEB. It says, good on you for realizing what you nearly lost. Connection in relationships comes and goes. It's a living thing that we need to nurture and value. We can be in love with our partner, and then sometimes we can love them, but not be in love. And then we can be in love again. We actually have to work at it and keep it going. This story really hits home because you really do need to have a work and home balance. If you're not balancing home along with the work, home might just disappear.

16:18Getting to the personal side of this one, I have spent a lot of time sitting at my computer working over the past seven years that I've been doing karma stories or KCC back in the beginning. And it actually took my wife being in the hospital where I had to do everything at the house myself for me to realize just how much she was doing around the house and that she was totally overworked. So as you've noticed recently in the caretaker role that I'm in now, I've been helping her around. But I've also started doing things that I never did before. And making sure that the workload for her around the house isn't going to be anywhere near what it was previously. Because I was stuck in my work and she was basically doing everything. It's a crazy moment when you realize that you haven't been pulling your weight in a relationship. I had that moment recently and made the change because she deserves better. This story comes to us from a deleted account.

17:20I left my boyfriend alone while he was having a breakdown. My 22 female boyfriend 26 male is 5 foot 2. I don't care about it, but he's clearly terribly insecure about this stuff. First, when we met on a dating app, he lied that he was 5 foot 9. But when I met him, I could obviously tell that he wasn't. I'm 5 foot 6 and he was shorter than me. But I ignored it and still had a good time with him. At some point he got a little tipsy and started ranting about how women are shallow and that's why he lied about his height that nobody would ever give him a chance otherwise. And then complained about how he still hasn't kissed a woman at 26. I reassured him I guess, told him it didn't matter to me and I liked him, asked his actual height and we moved on. When we got into a relationship, we would be sometimes walking together and he would accuse me of eyeing the tall men, which I didn't even notice until he did. Like in public, I don't stare at random people.

18:22I just focus on whoever I'm with. But now that he pointed that out, I always notice him staring at tall men, especially tall men with short girlfriends. Once a waiter was a tall guy and he just got angry with him and accused him of trying to hit on me. The guy was just doing his job. For around a week, he kept crying about this guy, asking me if I'd leave him for that waiter. There's a lot more weird crap like him texting my friends to find out if I'm cheating, sometimes making out with me too passionately in public, having a panic attack over my boss being tall, crashing out if I didn't sound satisfied enough during activities. Yeah, I'm effing bitter now. I'll just get to the point or I'll keep going on forever. So last night we got back from a bar and he was much more drunk than me, like barely walking, puked while we were getting back home. He tried to initiate with me, but I declined because I don't feel comfortable doing that with someone barely conscious.

19:22He got sad and sat down at the table and out of nowhere started asking questions about my ex, the only guy I've dated. They got more and more inappropriate like he was asking me about his twig and berry size, and whether I did certain degrading acts with him, which I wouldn't do. I got irritated and said no to that stuff, but answered the hype question honestly, said my ex was six foot two. He went back crap insane, started throwing things, punched the table, punched the wall, threw a chair, not at me, fell down, started sobbing while punching the floor. I just got scared and ran out of the room. I am scared of people getting aggressive like that due to my family history. Today he was angry at me and said I didn't love him because I should have comforted him and shouldn't have declined his advances, said I must be just repulsed by him. I don't know how to feel about that. I sort of feel guilty and like a coward. Jumping down to the comments on this one we have won from a user called Sailor Venus 23.

20:25It says because I think you need to hear this, I'm going to say it. It's not your job to fix him. His issues are not your problem. He didn't have a breakdown. He had a full blown temper tantrum like a toddler who got told no candy at Walmart. That is completely unacceptable behavior for a grown adult. He's never going to change and he's always going to have a chip on his shoulder because he's a little short. Do yourself a favor and drop him like a bad transmission before he gets physical with you. Because that's going to be the next stop on the tracks on this train wreck. Okay, can we rewind a little bit on this one back to the beginning of OP story where they said they were out on their first date. He got a little tipsy and started ranting about how women are shallow and that's why he lied about his height. Okay, so you go on a date with a guy. He says right to your face that women are shallow and you continued to go out on dates with this guy.

21:25I don't get that. Now let's take a quick look at his actions like the commenter did because being short is not an excuse to crash out and make somebody scared to be around you. This guy has too many unresolved issues and OP. I don't think you're safe in that relationship, so yeah, I'd get out of that as quickly as you can. Alright, well, I think it's time to end this one here. If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to follow us on your preferred podcasting platform. If you're on YouTube, please hit that subscribe button and drop a like on the video. It really does help us out. I thank each and every one of you for watching and listening. I hope you all have a wonderful day and we'll see you tomorrow.