r/AITA My Kids Want My Paycheck

0:00Welcome to R-Slash Am I the Butthole, where OP's brother-in-law expects to receive OP's paycheck? Am I the Butthole for not giving my bonus to my brother-in-law? I'm a 28-year-old woman, and I have a brother-in-law who's 30, who feels as though I'm being extremely unfair to him by not giving him my referral bonus. For context, him, my husband, and myself are all registered nurses. We live on the West Coast and him on the East Coast. We've all done travel nursing contracts on and off over the last six years. My last recruiter was awesome, so I referred my brother-in-law to the agency that she works for. When I started with this company, my husband referred me. The company pays you 750 bucks after the nurse you referred has worked for eight weeks. The person working also receives a smaller bonus of 250 bucks. Many companies have incentives like this. Over the last few weeks, my brother-in-law has been making comments over text and over the phone to my husband, saying things like, send me the money when you get it.

1:01Or, let's split the bonus money. He thinks it's my husband who's getting the bonus, but really, it's me. I let my husband shut him down and deal with it, trying not to get involved. Things took a turn last Friday. Last Friday marked eight weeks that he's been working on contract for the company. He got his 250 bucks, so he knows the payment was made to my husband, or actually me. He started harassing my husband over text, saying he deserves the money because he's the one working. My husband told him to knock it off, and that I'm the one who got the bonus anyways. He starts texting me, saying he's owed this money. Again, saying he's the one that's working the contract, not me. I told him no, and if I didn't refer him, he would have gotten no bonus, even if it is smaller. Like, just be grateful for extra free money, but he kept on saying it's unfair. I told him that's just the way it goes. I made the company money for recruiting you, so I get paid more. It's not like I stole the money from him or anything. It was direct

2:06deposited to me. I stopped responding to his texts, thinking that was the end of it. The next day, he started texting my husband, telling him he needs to ditch me, that I'm extremely toxic and entitled, that I suck, and many more not very nice things. My husband, of course, got very mad and stuck up for me. He hasn't talked to either of us since. Now I'm starting to feel bad that this is caused a family fight, and I don't think money should come between family. But at the same time, you can't bully me into giving you something that's mine and treat me like garbage. I never told my husband I should get his bonus, and I know my brother-in-law wouldn't give it to me if it was the other way around. Am I the butthole for not caving? OP, your brother-in-law is either very, very stupid, or very, very entitled, or a combination of both. Does this doofus not realize that he can now start referring nurses that he knows and pull in 750 bucks every single time? Sounds like a deal. OP, you get 0 out of 5 buttholes, your dumb brother-in-law gets 1 out of 5.

3:12Am I the butthole for cutting off my son after his mom passed away? I've been my son's dad since he was one year old. He's 27 now. I was friends with his mom for years before she got pregnant, and the bio dad took off. I was around helping her with stuff, and one thing led to another, and we got together. It wasn't really planned or anything. It just happened. Her and I cared for each other deeply, but it wasn't some huge romantic story. We were a partnership. We got married when her son Mark was 3, and I adopted him when he was 5. My wife Tammy took care of Mark, me, and my house. I worked and paid for everything. It was a good life. I had never wanted kids, but I loved Mark and gave him everything I could. Not just material goods. I was there for him growing up. I attended all of his extracurricular activities that I could. I taught him how to ride a bike and how to change his oil. We took him on vacations. I made sure when he graduated from university that he was debt-free. He was always a good kid,

4:13but university changed him. He became distant. He would call to talk to his mom, but not me. It turns out he met a girl who had been adopted, and she had baggage she decided to share with him. He had contacted his biological father, and I was being displaced. Mark was everything to Tammy, and she supported him and everything. As his mom, I would expect no less, but it's still hurt to be cut out of his life. When Tammy got sick, Mark and I would see each other when he came to see her, but we would barely talk. When she passed away, I saw him at the funeral, and then only heard from him to settle her estate, which wasn't much. She had a very small life insurance policy that she left Mark. Everything else was mine. Her bank account only had the money we budgeted for her. There wasn't much in it because she had been subsidizing Mark's life since he graduated. Like clockwork every month, I would deposit her share of our budget, and most of it went to him. Now that his mom is gone and not helping pay his bills, Mark is calling me for help.

5:18I said no. I said he had the money from his mom's life insurance. Everything else is quite literally mine. Even the car she drove was leased by me. He's upset with me, and said that I obviously had never thought of him as a son if I was willing to do this. I told him to ask his bio dad for help, since that's who he wanted in his life. His wife, Sarah, the girl from university, called me and said that I would be cut out of their lives and that I would never see my grandchildren. They don't have kids yet, but I suppose they're planning on a family. I told her that I was okay with that. And I am. I miss Tammy, but I'm okay. I have my dogs and my job. I see my sisters and their kids and grandkids. I'm involved in their lives. So, am I the butthole for cutting off financial support to a fully grown man with a job and a wife? Yo, I feel like the stories today are making me feel like a like a old grandpa. Kids these days need to learn the value of a hard day's work. Yo,

6:22this guy's 27. Get a job and stop expecting daddy to pay your bills. Look, I know things are tough in 2026. I know that fresh out of high school or fresh out of college, it can be hard to make a living. I don't want to like belittle that at all. But by 27, he should have figured it out, man. God, I sound like a grandpa. Pull yourself up by your bootstrap, son. Get a job. A penny saves, a penny earned. OPA, you get zero out of five buttholes. I'm on your side, even though this story makes me sound old. I'm giving your extremely entitled son three out of five buttholes, not because of the money stuff, but because you raised this kid since he was one and he basically cut you out of his life. That's really scummy behavior. Three out of five might not even be high enough. Age one isn't even old enough to remember the biological dad. Am I the butthole for wanting my wife to get a job if she wants to subsidize the kids? Up until our youngest kid graduated from

7:23university, I worked crazy hours out of town to pay for everything. I worked six consecutive weeks on for 12 hour days. Then I'd get three weeks off. That works out to 56 hours a week if you average it out. I've been doing that since I was 35 years old. It allowed my wife to stay at home and take care of the kids and the house. We also used the money to pay off our mortgage as well as by new cars for cash whenever we needed. I'll describe our budget so you guys can judge. After taxes, we used my take home to pay the mortgage and bills. We then paid into the kids college fund. Then into our retirement fund. Then we topped off our retirement account. We put money into our emergency fund. Then whatever was left, we split 50-50. Our tax refund was our vacation fund. Now I'm 55 and I'm tired. My body is beat and I need to slow down. Our kids are both through university. Both got their degrees and have jobs. I did my part. The company I worked for had a job

8:26open for an office job. I applied and got it. It's a nine to five city job. 40 hours a week. Better hourly rate plus other compensation. However, it's a lot less money without the overtime. I was getting 44 hours a week of overtime before. That's huge. But we have money in the bank and I have an easy stretch until I retire. My wife, however, is upset. Both the kids are struggling. For the record, they live at home rent-free. But they want cars and apartments of their own. They can afford that. They just won't be getting luxury cars and huge apartments. We no longer have a mortgage and my wife and I are both driving vehicles purchased in the last three years. Still under warranty. Our budget no longer has education funds either. We still have more than we need and my wife and I each have a thousand dollars each month to spend however we want. I'm saving up for a new garage and shop. My wife has been giving her money to the kids. She's hinting that I should also contribute. I think I've contributed enough. I told her to get a job.

9:33She's only 46. She can go to work and give them her salary. I still provide housing and food for all of them so she won't starve or anything. Her and the kids think that I'm being cruel and one of the little turds said that I was being lazy by cutting my hours so much. This is my hill to die on. I've done the hard work long enough. I want to enjoy my life. Am I the butthole for telling her to get a job and give the kids her money? Yo, this is not so. OP did everything he could possibly be expected to do financially. He carried a family on his back. He paid off the house. He paid off the cars. After all that, the wife still gets a thousand dollars a month in disposable income to do whatever she wants with and it's still not enough. He's lazy. Oh my god, this is brutal. It's really a shame that the wife didn't do her job in the household. Not because she didn't get a job and make money. I'm not begrudging her for that. But because she was a stay-at-home mom

10:35and she raised two spoiled entitled brats. I think if anyone needs to get a job, it's your two kids. Why do they need any handout? Especially if they're not paying rent. What are their expenses? Food, phone, maybe? I wouldn't be surprised if OP's paying for that too. I like this comment. The second that kid called me lazy would be when their free rent ended. Amen to that, Southern beekeeper. OP, you're gonna easy, peezy, live in squeezy, zero out of five bottles. I'm giving your very entitled family two out of five bottles. OP didn't say what job he had. I'm guessing since it's weeks on, weeks off, it's one of those like really brutal like long-term fishing or welding or like oil rig type jobs that are really rough on the body. Also, OP clarifies in the comments that he currently, this is after cutting his hours by the way, currently makes 150,000 dollars a year. Yo, this guy's lazy. We call him this guy lazy for real. What is this world coming to

11:41if this guy's lazy? Am I the butthole for wanting to report a teacher who keeps canceling recess? My son is eight years old and in the second grade. He's an exceptional student and child overall. He's very polite, smart, and dedicated to his education. He's in chess club, robotics, and does sports also. He's a little anxious and can be shy, just to give you an idea of my son. Here's the dilemma. He has math class before recess. The students in this math class have been misbehaving and not paying attention during class. Because of this, their teacher has been taking away their recess as punishment. She doesn't single out the kids that are misbehaving, but instead punishes the whole class. My son is still doing his work, keeping his head low, and he has a 95 in that class. I messaged the teacher and asked her if there's anything my son can do to make sure he gets to still have recess, as this is still a very important part of his day. She said, no, if my lesson is being interrupted, recess will continue to be canceled until I can get through my lesson. I was at a loss here, because on one hand, I totally understand where she's coming from,

12:46as I've gone on field trips with this class, and I can see what a handful of about four to five of the students in his class are. On the other hand, my son needs his time to unwind to be able to focus on his other classes. It's gotten to the point where he's crying every day before school from anxiety about his recess being canceled, and every day for the past week, it's been canceled. It's affected our mornings a lot, because my son used to get right up to go to school, and now he cries and drags his feet to leave. I don't know what to do. I want to escalate the situation, but my son's dad said that I'm over exaggerating. I looked up the laws about recess where we live, Texas, and it says schools grades six and under require recess time of at least 30 minutes per day, and it can't be taken away from them as punishments. Would it be bad to escalate this to the principal or counselor of the school? I don't want the teacher to think I'm overstepping on her lesson. Should I maybe approach her again in a different, more assertive manner? I know teachers have a hard enough job and are underpaid, but I also know my son deserves to be heard.

13:51I mean, OP, yeah, you're right. Teachers do have it pretty rough out there, but bad teachers need to be called out, especially when they're literally breaking the law. I don't even know why you came to Reddit. Be like, hey, uh, something illegal's happening to a child. Am I okay to stop it? Yeah, you're okay. You don't need Reddit's approval. Go do it. Go be a protective mom. It's okay. It's your job. That was our slash in my The Butthole, and if you like this content, be sure to follow my podcast because I put out new Reddit podcast episodes every single day.