Positive Talk with Kevin McDonald and Richard Waldman

0:00There is a moment in every life when you decide to rise, to stand taller than your fear, to speak louder than your doubt, to chase the vision that sets your soul on fire. This is that moment and here. We walk it together with stories that awaken voices that inspire and truce that set you free. This is positive talk with Kevin MacDonald where hope has a voice, and that voice is yours. You know, welcome to the show everybody. You know, I say in the opening, it voices that inspire and and people to make you think in a different way and think that things could be a little bit different than you think they is because you don't know what they is to because anyway. We have a gentleman who's with us today that is going to help us maybe think of well, a little bit different way of being that I that I think is really exciting. But first,

1:00I have to my good friend, Michelle, is here. Hey, kid, how you doing? I'm doing good, Kevin. How are you? That's going to be quite the day talking about our brains. How do you feel about that? Sometimes I feel like this care crow. That's good. But I don't have a brain and or was it his brain or his heart? No, it was the brain, I think. But in any event, we have a young man who is with us and I want to thank him, first of all, for his service. He was in the military and he served at Fort Lewis, which is right down the road from where I live. So he was in the Pacific Northwest for a period of time. And he has developed a concept that is that takes the philosophy of life from way back from the beginning to understanding how theology played a role and psychology plays a role. And what we do, but there is an order to life that many people are

2:03not thinking about because their life is chaotic for them. And it's not working very well for them. But and he's written a book, your guide to a better way of thinking, which I just love that. Michelle, would you like to introduce our guest for the hour? I would love to. We have Richard Walman here with us today. He has a website brainyites.com and that's brain yite.com. I'm trying to say the other way though. Welcome Richard. How are you today? Excellent, excellent. Thank you. It's a pleasure to be here. Thank you. And Richard, I got to ask you, was there an epiphany that happened for you that this kind of came to you kind of like a download and thinking about life as being chaotic and what's going on? And why is it that way? And how did you come up with this entire concept? It is a big deal, by the way. No, I appreciate that. Yeah, like let's try to keep it real simple. I got involved way back when I went to I bought a home. Okay, it's back

3:07and I realtor, I used whatever he says, Richard, they have a calculator class and back in the 80s, it was coming out and we can calculate payments and stuff like that. And would you like to go? It's open to the public. I said, I would love to go. So I went ahead and they told what kind of calculator to get and I did. And it was a two-part class. It was in the evening. One part was one evening, the following evening. It was the second part. Well, I took the first part and I went home then and I'm practicing with a calculator and I realized there was maybe some ways they could have made it a little simpler. So I went back the next day and I was talking to the instructor and I thought, should I say something and I thought, that go ahead. So I mentioned it to him. He says, you want a job? I said, what are you talking about? We're looking for somebody to teach this class. And I said, what? He says, yeah, the guy that was a title company and title insurance and the fellow that created, he left and whatever, but we owned the class and it was scheduled to teach and no one was here. So they picked me and we're looking for somebody. Do you

4:10have a kind of number of OSY major in the county in college? He says, you're perfect. Would you be open to talking to the press? We're a small company, but to our president, he's Bob. And I said, why? Next thing I know, I've got to appointment with Bob and I went in and met him, one thing led to another. He said, Richard, we'd love to bring you on. And I jumped on it. I was working in the county at the time. I wasn't really happy. And one thing led to another and it turns out I never thought of myself as a teacher, but it turns out I had an affinity to do this. And one thing led to another, I was teaching the class and I started developing more classes. And then one day a stock broker calls me up and we see use these classes to develop relationships with other companies to do business with, you know, exposure, comfort, relationships, business. And he calls me up and says, Richard, I'm a stock broker and I understand you do these classes to generate business really with other like lenders and escrows so they can direct business to you.

5:12I said, that's right. Well, I work with attorneys and we work closely on the retirements, retirement plans, but I don't know how to reach out to them. And I thought, God, if I could do continuing education, attorneys invite a man on a retirement plans, I might have an opportunity to develop that relationship. I said, what am I? We got together. We created a class. I went through all the particulars and I showed him how to teach it. One thing led to another and I did some of our company and the audience was a life coach. He said, Richard, do you do a life coaching? I said, no, you have to think about one thing led to another. So I started getting more and more into this and then I started thinking. So then as I got into it, more personal stuff was coming up with people. Well, Richard, this is happening and that's happening with me. And I didn't know how to handle it. I'm okay. I'm not a psychologist. So then at the end thinking, wait a minute, we all suffer. We all suffer at different times over different things over different levels.

6:15We all suffer at different, but we never hear about it. You know, COVID-19, we just had, roughly 9% of the population was burdened by their disease. Okay. Here, everyone is burdened by emotional suffering. We all have stress and all these different things go on, but no one talks about it. And I thought, well, wait a minute. If we all suffer all the time, all the different things, there's got to be a reason why. And so I started thinking about it as if someone had come to me as a Richard, we want you to teach a class on why we suffer and where it comes from and how to manage it. Whoa. So I started giving some energy to that. And then I thought, well, maybe I'm going down the road. Maybe there's a connection between our intelligence and the fact and one thing popped up was that he talked about our self-image or ego. Took me before he called it the ego, which is Latin for I, meaning the self. And I'm thinking,

7:16well, I didn't create the image of my edit, who I think I am. Well, my brain must have done it. And as I'm getting more involved, I'm realizing the brain is a chaotic and unsensical place. Okay. It creates a lot of things. It tells us you need to go out and kill that person because of what they did to you. I mean, I'm getting really extreme here, but we have all these nefarious slots that want to take us on the wrong direction, many of which we act upon. And we wonder why, how do we get where we are? So I started really kind of getting into this, trying to break it down. And over time, I was able, for example, we take, for example, the image on our head out, we didn't create it or brained it. Then I started thinking, what about those nighttime dreams? We don't set out to, we don't have any, any, any jurisdiction or any control over our dreams. They just happen, but they don't always represent reality. Do they? No, they don't. And what about the fact that we have over, it's been established over 6,000

8:17thoughts a day? Do we take time out to think of consciously these thoughts? Or are they just happening? They're just happening to go, well, wait a minute. Maybe she's going to be taken a little sip here. This could be a part of the puzzle. Our brain, our chaotic and nonsensical brain, has the power to create on its own. And unfortunately, much of what it create doesn't service, it takes us in the wrong direction. And our brain also has a, how do I say, a mouthpiece called the chatter in our head. That speaks to us. Our brain talks to us, but it doesn't always talk to us in a way that moves us forward. And then I came to the conclusion, wait a minute, this chatter in our head has a goal. It's the keep us where we are or worse, which is why we never change. So one thing led to another, and I started, you know, I've been a little bit of, I've got involved a little bit with the Bible, and I'm not religious. Okay, I was born at you. This Jew ran into another Jew called Jesus. I started getting into what he was saying. You got to lose yourself to find

9:23yourself. Oh, wait a minute. It sounds like he was into this 2000 years ago. No, it's in front of you. What it's in will be, it will be revealed. If you bring out what is within you, what you're bringing up will save you if you don't, it will destroy you. So I'm getting involved in this, and I'm seeing more and more that our brain is the culvert. Our brain is the problem. Our brain has the ability to not only to create, and has the ability to miscreate, but more important, our brain is not who we are. The chatter in our head is not who we are. That who are we? Well, that's our job to figure out. And part of that is connected to what it is that we love to do. You know, once again, if you bring out what is within you, what you bring up will save you. So all these things were going on, and I thought, well, how can I bring this together in a format that people can look at and understand that makes sense? It's easy not only to understand, but it's transferable. In other words, I can share it with you, and you can pick it up right away.

10:24And what I came up with, and I called it the order, am I going to, you want to ask me a question, Kevin? Or am I going too fast? Are we going to, you're done just fine, young man. Keep it up. Yeah. So this is what I, over time, this came up, and I don't know if well, you can see it, and it's obviously it's a circle. And the factors in this circle move us forward. And what are they? One, to be aware, aware of what? Aware of the fact that our personality has evolved in more than one direction. There's a side of us that's connected to the Almighty, and there's a side that our brain created. Now, the problem with the image that our brain created, it's judgmental by nature. It's judgmental by nature. And who do we judge? We judge everybody and everything. But who do we judge more than anyone else ourselves? We're not good enough. We're not smart enough. We don't have what it takes. Why try? Okay. So being aware that our personality has evolved in more than one

11:26direction, which side of my personality am I now thinking through? Am I thinking through the side that wants to hold me back? Or am I thinking through the side that is unlimited that's connected to the universe itself to the present moment, the present moment, and the chatter, and our head cannot exist at the same place at the same time. Our brain, how do I, loves to, in a way, how do I say? Keep us where we are. And it uses, for example, it turns time into a weapon. For example, our brain loves to launch us into the future and be with one of questions we can't answer. Kevin, what if you lost your job? What if you can't pay your bills? What if what if what if and what a tires of beating this up in the present moment? Rochelle, it loves to drag us back into the past to remind us of all the stupid things that we've done and said and how people told us we're not good enough, we're not smart enough. And we don't realize we spend most of our time in the future being fearful and then the past being regretful. Not knowing that our point of power is in the present

12:32moment, the present moment and the chatter in our head cannot exist at the same place at the same time. I can't change in the future. I can't change in the past. All I can change is in right now and right now and right now. Next, conscious choice. Bring me through what you might create for yourself if you act upon your current thinking. How many times have we thought about saying something and we thought, you know what? Maybe I better not say that or maybe I better not do that. Or times when we have done it, we go, I wish I hadn't said that. I wish I hadn't done that. Thank you through and I tell people anytime you have a doubt at all, you have a 24 hours and 99% of the time, you know, Rich, I gave a 24 and I decided not to do it. It wasn't the smart thing to do because we perpetuate the very thing that we say that we hate. We hate conflict, but we perpetuate it. But I have to get back at that. I have to tell them off. I have to set them right. And last is connecting to what it is that you love to do. If you bring out what is within you, what you bring

13:35out will save you. If you do not bring out what is within you, what you do not bring out will destroy you. For example, when I'm dealing with somebody, for example, even suicide or their, their addictive drugs, I'll try and find out what it is that they do value because right now that's what they value. A person who's suicidal does not value life. What they want to get rid of is the pain, the mental pain going along, but they don't know how to do it because people have take this drug. No one has spoken to them that you can't manage what's inside of your head or the person is addicted to drugs. If I can point out or help them find what is they truly value that if they get, let's say walk, start walking that walk, they might get to a point where you know what? I love this so much. I don't think I'm going to do the drugs anymore because it's getting in my way of what I really want to do, of where my value is and what I'm getting, of what I'm getting on the phone. So it's all about, you know, what is it that we value? And so let's go outside the

14:37circle. The number one thing is is judgment. Judgment is the most destructive mindset you can have because you cannot have a negative state of mind without first being judgmental. When I worked with people who we've gone through this together, hey Rich, I'm having a bad day or whatever. My first question is, what are you judging? You're right. I'm judging this or I'm judging that. You're right. You know, I should be letting it go, but you're right. Okay, I see, okay, I see what the leak is and letting go, but that's something else, Sue. It sounds very simple, but it's not because we hang on to this stuff because the chatter I had wants to hang on. As long as we hang on to all the garbage just happen to the fact, we're not going to move forward. We're not going to have a life. There's one, there's one, there's a difference between living a being a lot in the part of being a life and living life. We can be in a life where we're not living life. You know, the odds makers said I saw on the internet that the odds are 400 trillion to one that you and I

15:39and everyone else would be a life living person on this planet. We be the odds. We be the odds, but what are we doing? We're taking this thing called life and we're pissing it away over the stupid things. Well, they're angry with me or I'm angry with them or this happened to be. Don't you understand what we don't value life? There we protect what we value. So it's all about there we can. We listen to the chatter and that clicks the evidence. All the we won't get the Kevin. You messed up before. Remember they told you you couldn't do it. Remember they told you weren't good enough. But when you're going to, then we go, we then we buy into the evidence. Yeah, you're right. Maybe I'm not good enough, smart enough. And then we react. And next thing you know, we're living outside of the circle, having completely unaware how to get back into it or what are really what is about that that we need to focus on? That's in a nutshell. Richard, I hope that people are resonating with this. Michelle, I'm pretty sure you are. And we need,

16:42we need to take a quick break so that you can get something to drink. And this is just I wanted to play this because I think that this is a good metaphor for where you were and going to where you are and leading what you're doing. And we call it the seed. We'll be right back. Here's another point to ponder by positive talk radio. A tiny seed was buried in the dirt covered in darkness, forgotten by the world. But within that darkness, it grew roots, then sprouted into something beautiful. The seasons of struggle you face are not endings. They are beginnings. Trust that growth is happening even when you cannot see it. You're listening to positive talk radio where stories of hope live. And welcome back to positive talk. My name is Kevin McDonald and Michelle is right there. And we've got an extraordinary guest here today who he's going to flip

17:49your brain just a little bit because your brain isn't serving you necessarily because it is telling you all kinds of things because it's based on and I've heard this before Richard. It's based on fight or flight, which is something that we used a billion years ago to keep ourselves from getting eaten by dinosaur. And so it but it hasn't devolved into but there is another part of us which we need to talk about. But Michelle, I want your your thoughts. What do you think so far? That sounds like everything that I have been learning and trying to grasp the concept of because once you become aware of what's actually going on in your head, you realize how much work needs to be done. And it's not easy. It's a continual thing day in, day out all day. And you mentioned letting go of something. And me and my mom were kind of chatting about that this morning. Why do we choose to hold on to these things when we know consciously that we have the choice to forgive it and

18:51let it go. But for some reason, it doesn't always just go. You know what I mean? Sometimes it'll hang up in here or sometimes it will just jump right back into your vision. Is that normal? Yes. Yes. And there's a reason for it. Okay. We back up. I mentioned the ego, the alter self. The alter self I came up with has four needs. It wants us to fulfill which we do. And one of them is the need to project to the world. The image in our head of who our brain thinks we are. Look at me. I'm wonderful. Okay. This is going back to the story of Adam and Eve when they took a bite of the forbidden fruit. Their eyes opened, right? They were full of themselves. Okay. The same thing happens. Another need that are you go ask it wants us to fulfill which we do is the need to be right. Who doesn't like being right? Okay. To be in control. And lastly, to never, never, never be accountable. Okay. And one and one of the ways that we we how do I say go through the

19:58action of being right is is making others wrong. And we do it. We're not really conscious. We're not where what we're doing. And I might say Kevin, that's really still you wish I bought a new car or what why would you buy that car Kevin? That's stupid. Why would you buy that color or or Michelle? You did what? Why are you wearing that outfit? Well, don't you know? Yeah. So I'm making you wrong. I'm making you wrong. And what I am making you wrong because I want to be right. But we do this all the time unconsciously of what we're doing because we have this need to be right. And so to say Kevin, beautiful car. God bless you. May you enjoy it for the and and Michelle, you're look lovely. We're you know, go for it girlfriend. You know, we we could change the world right here right now. If we did two very simple things, if we started supporting each other instead of judging each other. Imagine that supporting each other instead of judging each other. But that's part of the ego again. Look at who I am. I need to be right. I need to be

21:03in control. And I am never going to be accountable. You can point out over and over my false. Well, I admit it. No, because if I did, that means I might have to own them. That means I might have to change. And if I change, who am I? Then who am I? So one kind of follows the other. Well, Kevin, I don't know if you you understand too, but it sounds like the difference between protecting yourself and being vulnerable. Yeah. We talk about a lot. Let's see. Here's the thing. Okay. Thank you. Good point. Part of the reasons why we're vulnerable is we see ourselves as being incomplete. The good show me a life form on the planet that is incomplete that survives. Show me you can't. Everything in the good Lord creates is complete. And so are we with the chatter in our head doesn't want us to see us complete because then we might have a life. And if we have a life, that means the chatter, they may not need me anymore. And they might think to get rid of me. And I don't want to die. I don't want to die. So the chatter in their in our head is going to do

22:04everything it can and what because it wants to live too. It wants to survive as well. And it wants to keep you in that loop because we compare ourselves to other people who we tend to think are better than us or somebody that we would emulate is being they got it all together. And the reality is I don't know if you know this, but none of us have it all together. But how many rich and famous people do we know they have destroyed themselves? That have it. You think how can they destroy themselves? But they do. They have all the money and the fame and everything. And they still commit suicide and they ruin their life. Why? Because they don't see them as simple as as see themselves as being complete. They're, hey, look, we're perfect as we are. And we're all wired differently. We think differently. We're wired differently about different things. And it's okay. It's okay. We should celebrate our differences, not deny them or to condemn them

23:05because they are different than us. We should celebrate who they are. Don't you think? I do, but we have not been educated to do that. See, that's a thing. We have to look about how we've been educated. And we don't think to question these things because this is what we've always done. You look at the, go back to the story of Adam and Eve. We're, metaphorically speaking, we're kicked out of the garden of Eden for judging, blaming, hiding and not being accountable. What's changed? We're so judging, blaming, hiding and not being, and no one's questioning why? Why we haven't learned anything or learned meaning why we haven't changed why we have incorporated this into our lives to make a difference. It is so fascinating when we start talking about this because we go, you end up going down the road which leads to the ultimate conclusion, and tell me if you agree with this Richard, that leads me to the ultimate conclusion that we were born great. Absolutely. We've been great our entire lives. But we listened to other people who

24:09tell us we ain't so great. There's certain things that happen to happen for us or around us that can educate us and give us the experiences that make it better for us to get to the next experience and to continue to living and that this is all a continuum. And it's all designed for our benefit. Don't you think? I agree 100. I couldn't have said it better. Yeah, you're dead on. You're dead on. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. But people don't recognize that it's for our benefit because they're worried about this or that, as a matter of fact, when I first met Michelle, and she's a wonderful human being, but she was concerned about everything that was going on and weren't you my dear? Yeah, I mean, everything was fight or flight. There wasn't any decision or anything I was doing during the day. The chatter fully had a hold of me. I was unaware of myself. I didn't know my identity.

25:10And everything kind of always just felt like I was doing something wrong. And then living off of that every moment, being in the past, everything I did forward was just making it worse. And then one day I just swell over some time. I just did certain practices and started noticing certain things. And that's what I wanted to ask you, Richard, is what are some of the main practices that I want to give you a point to make all of those known? And then I want to talk about it deeper when we come back if we can do that. But just things to help you. Like, I'm realizing now is we're talking about this that I don't know what it was that made me conscious to pay attention. But how can people do that? Like just normal? Well, you developed awareness that something may not quite be right. And the key, and once again, to changing all of that and what you were going through through the whole process, if you look at it, step back, you were being judgmental. You were judging all of these

26:16things. And like I say, a judgmental mindset is the most destructive mindset you can have. If you would have been aware and stopped the judgment, all that would have stopped because it's all judgment driven. That's one of the, well, they say one of the scariest things for people to do is to get up in front of a crowd and speak. Why? Because they're worried about, they may not say it or be a being judged, a being judged, a being judged. And we're not aware of it. But that's what we're concerned about. I years ago, I was in California with, was called Toastmasters. It was a speaker club. Oh, you have it up there? Oh, yeah. Okay. Okay. And so bottom of my was, a teacher came in from one of the middle schools. Hey, we're having a speech contest. We needed a couple of people to rep. Anybody want to, you know, I raised my hand. Yeah. And another fellow. Okay. So we went over there and we met the kids, you know, they're what, eight, ninth grade. And there was about six, seven, another one or whatever. And so, well, let's let's hear what they're, what they're talking about, what their subject is. So they gave us a presentation. And so one of the individuals I could tell

27:20it was very nervous. And so afterwards, I, I said, I said, how are you feeling? I said, yeah, I said, it's kind of scary to get up there. Yeah. Yeah. It is. I said, you know, what you're afraid of? No, you're probably afraid of people judging you that, that maybe you're not doing a good job. Does that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, let me ask you a question. I said, you've heard people speak, right? Yeah. When they're up there speaking, do you want them to fail? You go, no. No. Of course not. The honest, the audience doesn't want you to fail either. And the only time they know your failing is if you tell them, tell them when you screwed up, if you pause, they don't know that. They don't know. Maybe that's part of your, so bottom line, this, it created a whole shift in him. He once he understood that judgment was that he could get up and, and he, he did wonderful, but it was all about, it judgment rules us. And we're not a, it rules us on everything that we do, everything we do. Every time we hear, we're being judged or, or we look at somebody else, or maybe you, maybe you've been out of part of your get together and you look at somebody,

28:23oh, look kind of a sleazy person or next thing you know, you run into them. Next thing you know, you're talking about this and this and this and this and that. And you're sharing the same values. And all of a sudden this judgment, you had about a phase. And now you're really into this person. You're not seeing all that stuff you had before because you, and I really believe the true love is about values. If you take a set of values that meets another set and you bring them together, you have one set of values, okay? And we've all experienced that. We meet somebody whatever, and we come, and it just flows. It just flows. There's no conflict because we share the same values. We like doing the same things. And that's what it's all about living once again, not having just being alive, but living life and finding those who share the values that you do. And we are talking with Richard Waldman. And you need to go to his website, which is again, Michelle. Yes, which is brainyights.com. Go check it out. It's actually pretty cool.

29:25And when we come back, Kevin, I would love to talk with Richard about pre-judgment and how that affects our future when it's not even written yet. And we'll be right back. Stay with us, everybody. You're listening to Brushwood Media Network, a best-incindicated talk, news, and entertainment shows. Are you looking for your daily dose of inspiration? They connected to all your favorite shows, music, and news with a Brushwood Media Network app. From positive talk radio to greatest vibes unplugged than so many more uplifting voices around the world, everything you need is right in one place. It's easy to use, too. Always available and designed to keep you inspired 24 hours a day. Go to BrushwoodMediaNetwork.com and download the app and you will always have Brushwood Media available on your smartphone. Download it now and make inspiration and music

30:31and conversation part of your every day. And welcome back to Positive Talk. My name is Kevin McDonald and Brushel is right there and and Richard, I've got to ask you because there's another human being that's to your life that is there and and how does he think we're doing? We're doing our sheet, isn't it? Are we doing okay? Yeah, we're doing great. We're doing great. He's my assistant. Okay. I love somebody who's your assistant because they keep you on the front narrow and they make sure that your fly is zipped and all that kind of stuff because that's the first thing that people are worried about and when they're speaking in front of other people is how do I look? Who is mine? Well, I'm not worried about that. I can't change that. But all I can say is, I mean, Tanner, we lost the picture. We don't have any sound. Anyway, but we're good. We're good. Oh, very, very good. So, Brushel, go ahead with your your question at the end or for Richard.

31:32Yes. Well, I'm very curious. We do a lot of past judgment and a lot of current judgment, but what about prejudgment when like do we decide to write our own path just based off of the way we judge things? Well, many times prejudgment or whatever is is is about fear, you know, because we're thinking in the future, you know, what okay, what I mean, that be judging somebody because maybe what they wear, but I mean, be judging the situation because I'm fearful about what might happen or what might be said or may not be able to handle it or something like that. But we admit, but when it comes to prejudgment, you mean if like a people or or anything or just just in general, I know the reason I say this is because when that judgment mind isn't so strong and you grasp a hold of controlling it and then you start changing those thoughts with positive things and gratitude and all those things, then it changes your life path because you're no longer

32:36in that energy space. But I see a lot of people who are already judging things that haven't happened for their future yet. And then what what you just said is so head on because what they fear the most is what they actually attract. True. Well, in a matter of fact, it's probably no difference, something about that between prejudgment and judgment, judgment's judgment. You know what I mean? It's like, is your pre-hate, is your pre-hate than hate or you know, you know, is your pre well, there could be pre-love before love, I guess. I don't know. But it's technically speaking, we're in a judgmental mode. And it's very hard to shut off because we've been educated to be judged. I mean, myself, all of our lives, I find myself judging. I find myself, people say, it's right. Me included. Okay. Well, people say, Oh, Rich, you haven't again. I am not a well person. Okay. We all have our stuff. You know, but I get it. I live self deprivation. You know,

33:37I tell people, I am not the sharpest person in the room. My mother didn't reason any normal kids. Okay. I'm the first one that showed me into this. You know, and it's because we're all vulnerable. Hey, we're all screw ups in our own way. And I accept that. You know, just today, I had a relative text me something and I thought it came from her and she says, no, Richard, it's from me. Terry, I was passing it on. I said, I said, I should have known. I said, there again, I have a hard time, you know, distinguishing what's what. But that's me. You know what I mean? So accept your faults, have fun with them, laugh, have a good time. If you screw up, oh, man, I, you know, I'd like to, you know, the other day was forgetting, I'd forget my benefit wasn't tied on. You know, just have fun with it. You know, stop judging. Have a good time. Don't blame. You know what I mean? Just let it, and because then we start doing all this stuff, then we start connecting to it anger, you know, blame judging all these things, then we start connecting to what it is and then it owns us, and we can't get rid of it. Then we stay in it. So the biggest thing I find, see it, acknowledge it,

34:42and release it, and let it go. Let it go. And that's in one of the exercises I, I encourage people to do is, you know, we all have an expectation, maybe if something's going to happen or not happen, okay? And it could, you know, maybe not quite go our way. But here's what I suggest. Whatever it is you're doing, do the best you can up to that point where you can't do anymore. And let it go. Let it go. And totally let, I don't think about it, nothing, and see what happens. And sometimes I hear this a lot, hey, Rich, you know, I wanted to do, you know, let's say road A, it didn't work out. So I had to go down. It turned out road B was better than road A, and it never would have gone down. It had it not worked out. You know, it had, you know, I mean, and so be aware of what the universe works, taking you. The universe doesn't work in a straight line. Things are changing. I mean, years ago, they say, well, when you graduated college five years, and now it's going to be obsolete. Today it's five seconds, because things are changing so fast.

35:45It's okay. It's okay. Let it go. Move on to the next one. It's okay. You know, make it okay with yourself to make mistakes. You're vulnerable. Hey, I screwed up. It's okay. It's part of life and get over it and enjoy it. That's all I can say. I don't think that there's any, but wow, there was one guy two thousand years ago. It was, it was, it was perfect. But other than that, none of us have qualified for that. You know, and so you need to approach life with the sense of humor because that is what life is about. It is. Understanding that none of us is perfect. All of us, I don't know if you know this, but even a pretty girl passes gas from time to time. And that's just, yeah, I've heard that. I've never seen it, but I've heard it. I know I've heard of it. Let me put it that way. But, but, but, but what should I have to tell you? Years ago, and there are some people who, because of the, of the circumstances in life, they tend

36:47to get it. One lady I was talking to, she was a four-time cancer survivor. And they had told her that she was going to pass away on a number of occasions and she didn't. And I said, given your experience now and everything that you've been through, can you give us a piece of advice on how to live life? And she said, yeah, if you keep one foot in the past and the other foot in the future, you're peeing on the present. You don't pee on the present. And that was maybe one of the deepest and most consequential thoughts of that I've, I've had in my lifetime because it meant so much. And she was one that had to experience all of that. So, so in your work with a book that you've written, I know you're working to help people understand some of these concepts of how the universe works and, and so that they can get past it. Is that, is that, when did you discover or

37:48decide that that was your mission in life? Slowly. I've always, I've always, you know, my growing up, my brother used to say, you're the only one that laughs at your joke, own jokes. I go, well, I think, I think they're funny. But, you're entitled. Yeah, well, in school, I was always acting up, trying to get a laugh. You know, it says, I think was boring to me. You know, I mean, I always wanted to have fun. And so this was kind of always a long year. And then I even, if you're, oh, I hear something interesting. You've heard of NAMI, National Association of Mental Illness, NAMA, NAMA. Yes. I just left with one of the direct that they want to partner with us. They, just today, we had, we got together. And they said, we like what you're doing. And, and we, we were, we're holding a seminar. And they saw it. One thing led to another, what are you doing? I told them we met with them. And they said, we'd like to, it's a partner with you. We, we like what you're doing, which, which you're espousing your,

38:51your takeaways. And how would you feel? I said, yeah, yeah. So, you know, that, that's the whole thing is, is when I, when I go into, when I'm doing life, I want to have fun. And I tell them that I say, look, I might be the speaker, but the fun, the joy we're going to get is from you. And because what I, what I try to do in the crowd is that we're going through, I want to stimulate conversation. I want to hear from you because everyone in the room is, we all, we're all on the same boat. We're all wired. Now, we're wired a little differently, but we all have the same, we're fearful. We're anxiety. We're upset. We all, all these things are going, we all experience some, just at different times, at different levels, over different things. So I tried, I get into where the room's now sharing. The room is starting to develop an energy upon itself. We're all sharing, connecting, wanting to support each other. And so, if this is not hard stuff, it's just a question that we have not been educated to do these kinds of things. You go to church, we, what, this man, we don't hear about it anymore. And part of the

39:53problem that Nami was having, they'll do seminars here and there, but nothing's consistent. And then usually they have one person doing all the administrative work trying to do seminars at the same time, you know, and you can't do it all versus having somebody out there all the time, just conducting programs. And because this stuff is not necessarily fun stuff, we need to hear it over and over and over again. I don't know about you, but I, I need to hear things repeatedly. Well, and I'll tell you, Richard, that this is the stuff that we're talking about today. Is some of the most exciting stuff that is imaginable to me. I think so too. And I'll tell you, and I know I don't have to tell you, because you get it. And Michelle's getting it too. But for those of you who don't understand these concepts yet, it's a way for you to live your life in a much happier, much more consistent, and also how you can impact those people around you in a positive way, because you're acting differently

40:58than you did before. Well, you're a law of a track. Exactly. Who wants to be a a router person that's angry, upset and depressed? Who wants to be a, you want to be a person who's joyous, who's laughing, who, who shares values, you get something that's what we want, want to be around, you know, these types of things and so on. It just getting more complicated than this. I got to ask you because I believe I believe that the things and I'm going to say this and we can take a quick break. And then I want your answer when we come back. But I believe that everything is happening to you because you said yes to the universe. When you asked the question, why is it this way? The universe started giving you the answers of why it's this way. True. And then they provided you with a way for you to help people recognize that they too could get out of that negative circle of existence and to live their lives in a much better way.

42:02Did I say that well, Michelle? Yes. Extremely true. And that's what makes life worth living and why it's is such a magical journey that we are on. And when we hope, you can hold that up, Richard, before we go to break this is coming next. This is coming next. Okay, do the break and we'll come back to it. Very good. This is just 49 seconds. We'll be right back. I gave her crowns, but never freedom. They gave her titles, but never peace. The girl of many crowns is the story of Judith a woman born into power yet bound by duty in an age ruled by kings and scarred by war. She found her strength not in her throne, but in her heart. This is a story of courage, love, and the fight to be free when the world told her she couldn't be. Step into her journey, feel her fight and see how one woman's choices change the course of history. The girl of many

43:06crowns available now on Amazon books, Kindle, Amazon audio books, Barnes and Noble, Cobo, and Book Baby Bookshop. Order your copy today. And welcome back to positive talk. My name is Kevin McDonald. And if you like that piece that we just played, that is a book promo that we created. I have a wonderful team that does creation. So can you touch with me or Michelle, um, Kevin a K, a media.pro. Michelle at Michelle at K, a media.pro, right? Yes, Michelle. I can't meet you. It's your email. I don't have a friend in your email. And and seeing Richard, that's part of the, that's part of the charm, which nobody's perfected. Nobody ever says anything just perfectly and stuff. And so, you know, I accept that and and stuff. So, but in your world, because you began to say yes, and you started to have these thoughts that may have come from somewhere else, may

44:09have come from you, but most likely they came from the universe and all the things that, that give us the, there I said, inspiration to do great things. Um, and and so this has become your passion, your work. And if you look at the timeline, great things happen in your in your website. It talks about mental health. And voila, what happened today? And because they come to you and they say, Richard, we need you to help us with our, our program about mental health. It's all connected. It's what it is. It is. It is. It is. It is. It's here's another example. You know, people many times are afraid to try new things and then and I'll say, wait, wait, wait, okay, if it doesn't work out, I mean, is it going to cost you anything? Are you going to get hurt? Anyway, no, let's try it because, you know, the universe doesn't work in a straight line, you know, and and many times when things are not working, it's just only because there's something we have yet to learn. And this is

45:09a while ago, my website was just still I have what's called WordPress as far as the software that runs it. Well, this is when I'm in Florida now, I was in California at the time, just out this San Francisco. And my WordPress guy, he was moving whatever it was. Richard, I'm leaving you on it. I said, well, can you refer me to somebody? He goes, oh, jeez, I probably don't know everybody. Well, so I thought, what am I going to go home? I'm going to find somebody. And my wife says she was there and she's, what are you going to do? I said, well, I know what I'm going to do. And I says, hang on a second. So I went on the internet and there's a website called Meetup. One word, M-E-E-T-Up Meetup. So I put WordPress, you know, Word Meetup, San Francisco. Boom, a seminar. It's for WordPress developers. It's a technical seminar for the developers. It's going to be conducted in two weeks in San Francisco. And over a hundred people have already signed up. I says, honey, look what I found. Besides, I'm going to go. She's, well, it's for developers. You're looking for someone to help. I said, I know. And I said,

46:13how's that going to work? I said, well, I got an idea and you're going to help me. He says, do what? Well, she loved to work with paper. And I said, I want you to make me a sign. And this is what I told her what I said, make me a sign. It says, help. Seeking WordPress consultant. Okay. That's got a little string. And she says, you know, I said, I'm going to wear this around my neck when I walk into the seminar. So I will, I get up there, I put it around my neck, I walk in and right away, all the eyes are now coming to meet. And people are pointing and people are smiling. Next thing I know, a line, I haven't said one word. A line has formed. And people now are giving me their cards. One, I ended up with a stack of cards like this within two minutes. I hadn't said a word. Not one word. I took a risk and I put this little sign on and it worked. Okay. So what I'm saying, there's a lot of things that we can do creatively to create things that we want or whatever, but sometimes we have to go outside the box, you know, and it just one thing,

47:18I'm always about suggestions, trying to be creative, because the universe will serve up. If you stay with it, it will serve up. It will absolutely serve up. And here's another part. The universe does react to us. Is Darwin, Charles Darwin, who came up, you know, we wrote the origin of species about evolution. He was in the Galapagos Islands and he was a naturalist. And he believed that all life that we see was exactly how God created it, just the way we see it. And then he was on the different islands and he saw these finishes. Well, in one island, there was a diff, the birds beak was different. It was curved. And because there was a nut tree, these nut trees on the island. And he noticed the birds were looking at the nuts to get them open and it dawned on them. Wait a minute, over time, because they were pecking on the nut, the universe responded and turned their beak and do a tool that was now able to open the nuts. He realized the universe responds to us. And if we stay with something, if we believe and the answer will reveal itself over time, it may come in

48:23pieces. But if you love it, you'll stay with it. And it will happen. I guarantee you, it may not be exactly as you thought of it, but it will happen in a way that I truly believe you'll be amazed. And oftentimes it ends up happening better than what you had envisioned it. Yeah. Michelle, what do you think of all this? I think it's amazing, especially in there's a lot of things going through my head because we're in a generation now. It's seeming to where people are starting to realize, you know, all things are possible. And what can I do? But the fear is still with them because maybe they are scared of what could actually go wrong, or you know, or outside your comfort zone, then that little nitpicky mind can't tell you that it knows how everything is going to turn out. But trust is the flip side of everything that we've talked about, not just trust outside of yourself, but within. If you have a trust that's founded in who you are, there's really no room for failure and judgment and all those things because

49:30you no longer can see it that way. Is that true, Richard? True. And the key is stop judging. Stop, it's just stop judging. Just go go into it like, I'm not changing your arms to see what happens. Am I going to get hurt? No, am I going to cost me? No. Let's see what happens. Next thing I met so and so. What a wonderful experience. Just just be out there. It's, you know, and when you're out there, you know, one of the people say, well, I'm trying to do this and I'm trying to do that. I said, well, go hook up with people, join groups that that are where you want to be. And migrate to those who that you resonate with. And when you get to that point where where you expose your comfort, relationships, business, if you can develop a relationship with those people, for example, kept or, or if I, I, let's say, I, I want to where you want to, I, I want to be where you are. And so maybe after developing it, Michelle, let me say, let me ask you a question. You know, you're smart. You're, you know, God, you're where I want to be. And knowing what you know about me, okay, if you were me right now, what would you do to get where you are now? What would you do if

50:35you were me right now, knowing you had my, and now listen to her, see what she has to say? I'm not saying I would do it, but then I would ask, I would migrate towards other people, get their opinions, but there's a way to pick their brains without picking their brains. If you start developing the right, those are really, and asking the right questions. It's all about asking the right, selling, I hate to use people, why are you selling? But let's put this a communicating, it's all about asking the right questions, all about asking the right questions. And it's as simple as that. But many times we're afraid because they might judge me, or that question might be stupid, or, or all these other things go on, but we, we boil it all down. It's usually judgment that stops us, stops us from doing what we know to do. Because we're scared of the outcome, or we're scared of what my wife is going to say, which I was, but she didn't anyway. And now she know my wife and stuff. And it's, you know, it is amazing. If you look at life from my perspective,

51:40from where I've been, I've done 2700 shows over the last 20 years. And a lot of the people that I've had on, they also, you know, Richard, we're all saying the same things in slightly different ways because I think, and I think on your website, I talked about things are changing and, and we are getting more in tune with what we're really all about. And the pendulum, which right now is like swinging way the hell over here, is coming back to us. And there are more people that are more conscious about what's going on. Have you found that to be true? Yeah, I do. I do. And there's some, you know, I go back to one of the comments, Jesus said, let those who are dying bear the dead. And meaning there are some, you know, the dead, meaning there's some people not dead dead, but dead spiritually psychological. You can't get through to. We've all run into those. This is a matter of what you say. Well, you can't get through to. And there are those like Jesus, I'm sure he ran into

52:43that of doubting, you know, what he was saying. And these people, look, why don't you go out there and hang out with those who already have died? Okay? All right. You know, I mean, because you can only take things so far. And we're always going to run into those. And so what are you really, and then you release them, okay? Yeah. Next, don't judge them. You know, love them and release them. That's all. And just stay out there. That is a huge piece of it. Love them and release them. Because from my perspective, and I don't know, this is if this is everybody's, but they're going to get it and it may not be soon. It may not be this lifetime, but they'll get it eventually. And that's, that's okay. Just let it, the gospel according to Paul McCartney. And then I'm going to let Michelle finish up the gospel according to Paul McCartney is let it be. Yeah. Well, thank you so much, Richard, for spending this time with us. As you know, we have to come back on the show because I have questions for you. You guys are you guys are you guys wonderful hosts. You guys,

53:44you guys do a great job. I really mean that. Yeah. Well, we have amazing people like you. We get to speak with and it makes it so much easier to just have a conversation. But thank you for dedicating yourself to putting in this work and finding your mission because without you, there would be a huge gap. So I want to give you the last few moments to share about your book where people can find that to your website, all those fun things. And then a message you'd like to leave our audience with. Oh, okay. Well, the book is simple. Amazon. Okay. You're a guy to a better way of thinking. And, and my message is go out there and have fun. Okay. You are given life. Okay. Go out there and live it. And one of the great role models, nature as a number of great role models. One is, you know, the universe is always creating. It's always changing. And it's always an order. And one of my favorite is the common ant. The common ant has been around for actually 110 million years for one reason and one reason only they work together. Let's work

54:44together. Let's let's so we can live not only ourselves, everybody else up. And when we lift them up, it lifts us up. Okay. And it doesn't get any more complicated than that. Beautiful. That was just awesome. And Richard, by the way, if you're listening to this and you're on your way to the grocery store, or you're going to go, I've talked to somebody that you don't know, do it with a smile. It doesn't cost anything. It doesn't hurt. You can do that. And then check yourself and how you feel after the interaction with them when you smile with them. And then they smile back at you. Right. It can be a magical thing. And it can change somebody's life. Oh, man. So Richard, I got to tell you, you are, I knew we'd have a great time and you're going to, you need to come back. That's just anytime. I'm like, you guys are the light and I'm like the bug. I'm going to keep you know, keep coming back. And Michelle has,

55:47I'll never mind. She's got a whole bunch of bugs, but okay. But again, I want to thank you for being here. You are a just exceptional. Go to his website, Michelle, which is Yes. Go to his website, brainyights.com. He has all the information on there. And then again, go find his book, which is on Amazon. And Richard, we'll see you again soon. Okay. Thank you so much. Thank you for being part of Positive Tonk with Kevin McDonald, where stories inspire and voices remind us of what truly matters. May today's conversation give you hope, courage and a reason to keep moving forward and just remember. Till next time, be kind to one another because each other is all we've got.