
Chelsey Brooke Cole: The DEEP Method for Dealing With a Narcissist
About this episode
Every conversation with a narcissist is a trap, and the harder you try to be understood, the deeper you sink. In this episode, licensed psychotherapist Chelsey Brooke Cole joins Lisa to teach a survival skill anyone communicating with a narcissist needs: the DEEP method, which stands for don't defend, don't engage, don't explain, don't personalize.
Chelsey and Lisa go beyond the technique into why it works: what entitlement looks like from the inside, why a narcissist's behavior is almost never about you, and the "positive projection" trap that keeps kind people stuck. When kids are in the middle, they cover how to be the calm, "good enough" parent and validate children's feelings without feeding the conflict, and they close on rebuilding a life and rediscovering the small joys a toxic relationship trained you to ignore.
This is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.
✅ WHAT YOU'LL LEARN
✅ The DEEP method: don't defend, don't engage, don't explain, don't personalize
✅ Why explaining yourself to a narcissist only hands them more ammunition
✅ What entitlement looks like from the inside, and why it's never about you
✅ The "positive projection" trap that keeps kind people stuck
✅ How to be the calm, "good enough" parent your kids need
✅ How to validate your children's feelings without feeding the conflict
✅ Why you should keep your goals private from a narcissistic ex
✅ How to rebuild joy and reconnect with yourself after abuse
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS (+1:00 for the bumper)
0:00 Intro
1:00 When a co-parent weaponizes religion against your kids
10:59 "Good enough" parenting, and the DEEP method
18:26 Inside the narcissist's mindset: entitlement and projection
28:13 Co-parenting: validating your kids without feeding the conflict
36:13 Reclaiming joy and rediscovering yourself
CTA (spoken): Co-parenting or communicating with a narcissist? Book a free discovery call at beentheregotout.com.
Books: Been There Got Out — https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Relationships-Circumstances/dp/194627495X/ · When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You — https://www.amazon.com/Been-There-Got-Out-Against/dp/1967674183
More from Chelsey: chelseybrookecole.com
Tags: deep method, how to talk to a narcissist, communicating with a narcissist, co-parenting, gray rock, narcissistic abuse, good enough parenting, boundaries, high conflict divorce
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