[No Laughter Version] why do Dwane Johnson's shoes have to be made so strong? (+ 16 more dad jokes!)

0:00This episode is brought to you by Nespresso, introducing Virtuo Up, the latest and a long line of innovation from Nespresso. It's innovation you can touch, sense, and taste in every single cup. With a three-second start, easy open lever, and dedicated brew over ice-button, it's even easier to enjoy your coffee your way. Zip for yourself. Shop Virtuo Up exclusively at Nespresso.com What do you call a satch-drawberry? A blueberry. My dog can't stand the bass line for

1:00red-hot chili peppers, so I bought him flea protection. When I was a young boy in school, I accidentally superglued a pencil to my hand. All the children laughed and teased me relentlessly. That's something that's always stuck with me. What kind of music does a chiropractor listen to? Hip hop. Why are math books so stressed? They have a limitless number of problems that need to be solved. When my girlfriend said she was leaving because of my obsession with the monkeys, I thought she was joking, and then I saw her face. My wife caught me riding a dolphin. I said it was accidental, but she swears it was on purpose. If you only have a few minutes to learn about main, median and mode, you'd better get to work. Stay tuned for more dad jokes after this short intermission. On December 12th, Disney Plus invites you to go behind the scenes with Taylor Swift in

2:04an exclusive six episode docu-series. I wanted to give something to the fans that they didn't expect. The only thing left is to close the book. The end of an era. And don't miss Taylor Swift, the era's tour, the final show featuring for the first time at Torture Poets to Farmat. Streaming December 12th, only on Disney Plus. Who could have predicted playing too much Tetris would leave me seeing nothing but its blocks? I guess I lacked foresight. What's a musician's favorite pet? Trumpet. I studied dad jokes in college. I majored in psychology. I recently adopted a dog from a blacksmith. As soon as we got home he made a bolt for the door. People said I'd never get over my obsession with Phil Collins, but take a look at me now. I'm Montgomery Jones, stay tuned until the end of the episode for a bonus joke.

3:08We're on a mission to spread the laughs and groans far and wide, so please share one of these jokes with your family and friends today. Looking for more dad joke humor to share? Then subscribe to our new weekly email newsletter. It's our weekly round up of the best dad jokes, memes, and humor for you to enjoy. Spread the laughs and groans and sign up today. Click the sign up link in the show notes page or visit dailydadjokespodcast.com. The Daily Dad Jokes Podcast is produced by Classic Studios. See the show notes page for social media links and joke credits. This show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience. Protein is now at Starbucks, and it's never tasted so good. You can add protein, cold foam to your favorite drink or try one of our new protein lattes or matcha. Try it today at Starbucks.

4:11If you marinate beef with cocaine, please weigh the risks carefully. The stakes will be high.