[No Laughter Version] Pi / Mathematics Day! 51 irrational dad jokes! 14 March 2026

0:00You should avoid talking to pie at a party. They just go on and on forever. I know every single digit of pie. I just don't know the order. Why do plants hate math? It gives them square roots. I'm thinking of a word. Starts with pee and doesn't have an ending. It's pie. If I had 50 cents for every math's exam, I failed. I'd have $8.40. Not all math jokes are terrible. Only some. My partner has a lot in common with pie. Both are irrational. Mathematical expressions are the best parts of math ever. They have no equal. I've decided to become a math teacher, but I'm only going to teach subtraction. I just want to make a difference. I have a fear of pie, but I am pretty sure it is irrational. Why are cowboys

1:07bad at math? They're always rounding things up. I hate math. I know decimals have a point, but fractions is where I draw the line. Dad, can you do my math homework for me? No son, you wouldn't be right. Well, at least you could try. How do trees do math? They use a logarithm. I said to my sister, did you know there's a computer currently calculating all the digits of pie? She asked when did it start? I told her at three. Recently I watched a movie about the history of mathematics. A lot of positives and negatives. Why is Chuck Norris so bad at math? He knows no equal. I'm going to teach my baby advanced mathematics so it can derive its own formula. My math teacher called me average. How mean? Why was the math book so depressed? It had so many problems. Did you hear about

2:14the math student that was afraid of negative numbers? He'll stop it nothing to avoid them. Length times width times height. Pi times r squared times h. Four thirds times pi times r cubed. This really speaks volumes. Math is hard. 15 plus 15 is 30. But 16 plus 16 is 32. People often ask me why I prefer to teach math instead of English. I tell them it's because fractions speak louder than verbs. I'm starting a business to help short people learn math. I'm going to call it making the little things count. We'll continue with more dad humor after this quick pause. How do you get 100 math teachers into a room in which only 99 fit? You carry the one. What's a communist's favorite part of math? The distributive property. Mathematics is the hardest school subject. Even after you finish it,

3:19the aftermath awaits. How did the mathematics teacher clear his constipation? He worked it out with pen and paper. I developed a mathematical theory of the calendar. But the experts are telling me it doesn't hold water. 85% of Americans don't know how to do basic math. Thank God I'm part of the other 25%. What is a pumpkin circumference divided by a pumpkin's diameter? Pumpkin pie. My dog is actually a mathematical genius. I asked him what's two minus two boy and he said nothing. Why was the math teacher late for class? She tipped the rhombus. Why can't desalination be explained mathematically? When the water evaporates, there is no longer any solution. I solved a mathematical equation using a kitchen utensil today. It was a calculated whisk. What killed off the mathematically

4:22challenged protozoans? Cellular division. My son asked me how hard it is to calculate the area of a circle. I told him it's easy as pie. I have a math joke, but I'm too squared to say it. I never did well in school. I failed math so many times I can't count. I don't understand why people celebrate pie day. It's an irrational holiday. I saw my math teacher walking down the corridor holding some graph paper. I think he's plotting something. If a math teacher has five bottles in one hand and six in the other, what does she have? A drinking problem. A math teacher was arrested today and his home was a protractor, a calculator, and ruler. He was arrested for carrying weapons of math instruction. Before the invention of mathematical zero, people didn't know nothing. Why must you wear your

5:25glasses when doing math? Because it helps with division. Who was the roundest night at the round table? Sir Comforts. He had too much pie. COVID pie has just been announced. I feel we are going around in circles. Coach always told us to give 110%. The school really shouldn't have let him teach math. My dad is a mathematician and exclusively has cake for dessert because having pie would be too irrational. One day, all mathematical signs gathered together in order to go into an adventure. Right before they were leaving, he didn't let the equal sign go with them. They wanted to live an adventure without equal. I'm Montgomery Jones. We're on a mission to spread the laughs and drones far and wide. So please do us a favor and share just one of these jokes with your family and friends today. Thanks. Looking for the gift for dad? We have the official Daily Dad Jokes podcast

6:28electronic joke button now available on Amazon. A massive 500 pre-loaded dad jokes guaranteed to make you laugh and groan. Check the show notes page for the link. The Daily Dad Jokes podcast is produced by classic studios. See the show notes page for social media links and joke credits. This show was recorded in front of a canned studio audience.