Nick receives a genuinely moving text

0:00Are you stupid? Are you a stupid person? And you're just asking questions because you're a stupid person. Just asking questions because I'm a stupid person. No stupid questions, only stupid people. Did Steve work off on the news that actually thanked Vladimir Putin for not killing him? I think he did. That made me laugh out loud. You're not supposed to be laughing at the news, but it made me chuckle. Donald Trump has insisted that Vladimir Putin is not looking to attack NATO territory. So that's it, case closed. We can relax now that the world's foremost expert on everything says that Vlad told him we are safe and that is all the information we need. And he said that despite a suspected Russian drone attack on a German airport. Donald Trump said Vladimir Putin is not looking to an attack a NATO country despite him attacking a NATO country. But it was an airport, so maybe he meant that being an airport it was international territory, not NATO territory.

1:02Yes? No. No. When questioned in the Oval Office on Friday about the incident, the US president said, I speak to him, I know him very well. Putin is not looking to attack NATO territory. And that's, and you can hear, is Vlad's eyes rolling 1500 miles away. What's the Russian for Trump? The discovery of drones packed with explosives, including one fan alongside a Ukrainian jet. And another at a NATO logistics hub has raised alarm across Europe. Warning, warning. And nothing but peace of mind in the Tangerine scream. European security officials believe the incidents form part of Russia's hybrid warfare campaign against countries that have supported Ukraine since Putin launched his full-scale invasion in 2022. Always or as Vlad would put it, the special operation, the cross-border skirmish, the disagreement with guns, which coincidentally is what Don Donnyk calls his war with Iran,

2:03which is winning very strongly. I think he's won that war about ten times so far. He must be tired of all that winning. I'm a whiter and I keep whining and whining. Not whining. Winning. Meanwhile, as Trump citals up to Vlad to whisper sweet nothings in his ear, he sent his son-in-law, Lurch, and Steve Whitkov, whose qualifications to be the US envoy to the Middle East, is that he is a billionaire property developer from New York. Fabulous. And Vlad must have been in a good mood because he didn't serve anyone nuclear tea, and none of them accidentally fell out of an upstairs window. So Donny and Vlad didn't do the German airports... Donny said Vlad didn't do the German airport thing, and that he knows Putin very well, and Putin likes him very much, and the usual driveling nonsense that you've come to expect of a man whose contact with reality is tenuous to say the least.

3:04And worryingly for Ukraine, Trump says that he has an idea for peace. Oh, Lord! Which, if Venezuela is anything to go by, and Canada, and Greenland, and Mexico, and us, that he will want Ukraine to crawl across the carpet to him with a blank check in their mouth, and he'll take 50% of everything they've got. It's a great deal, and it's a huge deal, and it's a great, huge, and tremendous deal. That'll be ever so such a deal. Very important people come to me and say no one seems such a deal. Believe me. Messages from last night of which there are a lot from the top. Ricky says, this is from today, actually. Ricky says, I'm fed up of hearing about night or farage. That bloke couldn't empty a bucket with the instructions printed on the bottom. Boring, it says Ricky. Boring! That's his new catchphrase. Boring, boring. And anytime something happens that he doesn't like,

4:04he just yells the word boring. And the trained seals at the front just... Oop oop oop oop. Alex says a reform voter actually said that facts don't matter when talking to an attacher Devon earlier today. Have such moronic people always existed, or is this just in the past 10 years they've come out of their shell? No, they've always been there. And this very long, Mrs. we want to get comfortable for this. It says, hi Nick, couple of things in reference to topics over the last couple of weeks. Firstly, the problem with AI written songs. Isn't that composers are using it to arrange the instrumentation of the song? They're using it to actually write the song itself. All you need to do is type in a few words and tell it to write a song in a certain style, and it will do it. Honestly, if you were to type in Nick Abbott and Habit, and tell it to write a song in the style of country, it would do it. That's the issue. Second, on the subject of the phone's not listening to you, only monitoring your searches, I don't believe that for a second.

5:05I've no evidence, obviously, but there have been too many instances when I've been talking to somebody about something or listening to something. And within days, something has appeared on that subject, either on social media or on YouTube, YouTube. Most recent examples of this as you scroll through Facebook, there appears to be a list of people you may know. Last week I was scrolling through, and the first person that appeared on that list was Tiago from Bristol. I've never met him. I have had no interaction with him, and I live nowhere near him, and I don't believe I've ever been in the same vicinity as him. The definitely listening says Darren in Plymouth. Okay, well, I'll take those points in reverse order. Your phone is listening to you thing. I'm not entirely sure about that. I think it's probably coincidence. I mean, you hear a word that you maybe have never heard in your entire life, like, I don't know, Verbiage. There you go. There's a word that you don't say very often, Verbiage. And I bet within a week you'll hear that said again, because you are on high alert.

6:05I mean, ordinarily that word would go by you, and you wouldn't pay any attention, but because some dope on the radio has just said the word Verbiage three times in a row, then the next time you hear it, you'll think, oh, that's suspicious. Coincidence, not suspicious. And that's for the first one, AI Writing Tunes. Affirmative. I don't think it really matters, does it? I mean, think of the music of the 1980s. Oh, yeah. You're absolutely right, Nudge. Absolutely awful. Stock, Akin and Waterman, I rest my face. Every single song sounded the blooming same. A robot might as well have written it. It's a formula. And they just did the same thing over and over and over again. I was absolutely painful. I just wanted it to end. When one of those songs came on the car radio, if I couldn't reach the buttons, I'd just drive into a tree to make it stop. Poor tree.

7:07I did actually drive into a tree the other day, but I was executing a three-point turn. And some idiots had planted a tree in my way. And you believe that? Yeah, I really don't think it matters whether artificial intelligence is writing songs anymore. Because real actual proper songs, you will notice the difference. You just will. I mean, they're writing those saccharine pop songs that are normally delivered by a bunch of singing haircuts. I mean, they might as well have been written by a robot. Who cares about the entire history of music? They've all been more or less the same. No, not in the entire history. In the 1970s, the bands of singing haircuts. They used to be... They used to have a difference about them. These things, they all sound as a blummin' same to me. But you know, that's what comes with age. A certain grumpiness and an irritation with the youth. But it's tell me that stock aching and waterman songs

8:07did not all sound exactly alike. Might as well have been AI. So there, there's a full-on-franc answer. This is on the subject of me doing my nut driving slowly behind people doing... Not 20 miles an hour. They're doing 10 miles an hour while pointing out interesting buildings along the way to their passengers. Oh, look, there's big bend. Yeah, we know it's big bend. See it about a million times. You don't have to point it out. Go faster, you're Egypt. Well, some of the things that I was shouting at my windscreen. Those were the broad-castleable things that I was shouting at my windscreen. Displusting. Some of the others, not too... Not too clever. Dinnick, from a Buddhist point of view, the way to drive when the limit is 20, you have a chance to practice being patient, similar to shopping in a certain low-price supermarket with one till. Yeah, but when you're queuing up to pay for your food

9:09in a supermarket with one till, your shopping trolley isn't threatening to explode. Is it? Big difference, huge. Now, let's take one of these suspiciously keen callers right off the bat, Harrogate. Hello, Nick. Oh, Nick. Hello. Yes. I just wanted to quickly check in with you. When you reversed or attempted to drive your car and you hit the tree, was that on the trunk road? Oh. A listener with a material. Oh, Lord. Sorry. Sorry. In answer to your opening request, the word for chump in Russian is bolván, B-O-L-V-A-N. Yeah. Thank you. And on a Russian-related note, have you seen the thing on Twitter? If you go on Twitter and type in Russia robot, you'll see a robot in a shop and some customer comes in disrespects it by sort of pushing it.

10:12Oh, yeah, I've seen the robot. Yes, it calibrates itself and then it goes to some of the obscure comfort music. Yeah. And then attempts around how to kick these guys in. I know. I mean, it's, and it did it pretty good too. I mean, I thought its moves were excellent for, you know, for a learner. Give it another six months and it will be taken as add-off. I think my favorite bit, though, admittedly, was the two shop staff trying to stop it holding on to it. In that sort of bar fight, it's not worth it kind of. Yeah. And then on a slightly related, possibly Russian-funded note, did you see Robert Jenrick today resigning over the, it was in the news, actually. This thing about the rate of income tax, what they'll accept going up to before you pay. And he said, if we can't get to 15,000 pounds, I resign as shadow chancellor when he's not even the shadow chancellor. But then the actual reform party thing is, we want it to be 20,000. Yeah.

11:12So he's resigning over the non-getting to a target, which is less than, I can't do it. He said, that's it. I'm leaving. And we all were waived in a, a, a, a cheery buy-by. Don't let the door hit you on the way out. Bye-bye. Yeah. All right. Okay. Excellent work, Nick. Thanks a lot, mate. 0345, 6060, 973. This says, I think it's worth informing your listeners of the bulletproof test that James O'Brien came up with on his morning show in case they missed it. He said that those who still report, still support reform can find out if they are mugged or billionaires in a very simple way. Look at your bank account. Best wishes says filamina. And Nick said, no, Nick doesn't say anything at the sort. He says, hi, Nick. Hi. Hi. Hi, Nick. In a month, carbon-based life-formed, oh, carbon-based life-forms. They're very, very horizontal chill out band. I love them. Carbon-based life-forms, by,

12:14carbon-based life-forms will perform at the Islington Assembly Hall, looking forward to two hours of forgetting the world. Yeah, sir. I have to travel from Amsterdam to it, but London is better than Glasgow, because we all know where the weather will throw out as up north. Yeah, I look at that concept, carbon-based life-forms, and the only tick is I can find was standing. And that is not a band to watch standing. I mean, if it's Bruce Springsteen, or the who, you definitely absolutely and totally want to be standing up. But carbon-based life-forms is a bit more... It's sort of horizontal music. So I'm not going. I can't imagine that there's much to look at. I mean, I suppose they could do, like, trippy visuals. But I'll never find out. Plus, everything's just too bloomin' expensive these days. Have you noticed? Or is it just me? This is absolute Tosh. Reform UK will raise the tax-free personal allowance

13:14to £15,000 within the first 100 days of winning the general election, the party promised today. They further promised to increase everyone's height by at least three inches, simultaneously shrink their stomach. Under a reform government, every man and woman will be able to fit into a pair of skinny jeans without looking like a burst sausage exploding over the waistband. Robert Jenric, who would be a chancellor in a reform government, is pledging to ease the burden. The burden. The burden on millions of brits if his party wins power by hugging more flags and making cute videos of him accosting people, avoiding paying a £3 to train ticket with only a security team to back him up. Which is quite the position for someone who helped the friend and party donor avoid a £45 million community payment to help the poorest people in the area the development was going up. That's hard to believe, isn't it? A man who is so self-unaware to harang people for swirving a £3 to train ticket

14:15is best known for helping a billionaire property developer swirve a £45 million low V2 to help the community. And then had the nerve to tell us it was the right thing to do like he's using the Jedi mind trick but he's not a Jedi, he's Jar Jar Banks. Jar Jar Banks with a skinhead cut and a malevolent glint in his eye. Actually, that's not fair. Robert, ticket inspector Jenric, is most well remembered because he had a mural of cartoons painted over in an unaccompanied and traumatised migrant children centre in order to make it not so welcoming. He actually said he wanted it to look like a law enforcement environment not a welcome centre. For children, any thoughts? Mine entirely. I remember in times past when someone like that would have slunk off and retreated from the public eye to live anonymously in shame. But shame has left the building and these days you do not slink off,

15:16you slink into the reform party. We will find them on the railway platforms and we will fight them in the children's processing centre and we will never surrender because the person is a donor or billionaire and if they're a billionaire donor, well, come this way. The personal allowance, which is the amount you're allowed to earn until you begin paying income tax has been frozen at 12,570 pounds since 2021. In a speech of reforms conference in Birmingham on Saturday, ticket inspector generic set out its plans to deliver the single largest increase to the personal allowance in history as in ever. Reform estimates hiking the personal allowance to £15,000 would save the majority of taxpayers around £500 a year and would benefit around 40 million people overall by and I did mental arithmetic by £1.30 a day. If you say £500 a year, that's £1.30 a day or about £1.30 of a cup of coffee

16:17as long as you don't want anything fo me. Mr. Generick was later asked whether he still believed quitting the Conservatives for reform was worth it after the scrutiny that his new party had faced in recent months and said that it was one of the best decisions that he has ever made. But as he is best known for the £45 million, he saved a billionaire and the painting over the murals to make kids with no parents feel bad. It's not such a stretch to say that joining reform was on one of his best decisions. Particularly as he lost the leadership of the Tory party to Kimmy Badnock and probably wasn't going anywhere under her leadership, it's like saying that jumping into a small dinghy out of a shark-infested sea was one of the best decisions you ever made. Not much thinking involved, it's not like his opinions were open. His options opinions. Options, ideas. Not opinions. And on the subject of that party, Apropos have nothing at all.

17:18Brian has given us a three word slogan because they absolutely love their three word slogans. And it is, and I quote, Richard's stupid ties. Well, he's the net-stupid zero man, isn't he? I mean, we could just call him stupid for short. 0345, 6060, 973, Swanley, Hamel. Hey, how you doing, Nick? Good, thanks. Nick, I really appreciate your humour. Thanks. I really like that. And all I would like to say to you is, yes, I agree with you. The reform part for your absolute idiots. I don't think I said that. Well, you've kind of suggested that. And I do think they are idiot.

18:19I don't think they're idiots. I already don't. I think it's worse than that. But anyway, go on. Okay, maybe it's worse than that, but I'll call them idiots. However, I wanted to talk to you about Falklands. Yes. And I think we should absolutely defend the Falklands. Okay. We should not lose any more territory, any more. Even though the Falkland Islanders don't actually contribute in any way to this country. Maybe they don't, but we keep losing our territory every day. What we do. Well, I'm doing. You talking about coastal erosion now. I'm Indian off background. Yes. I'm Indian off background. And I was born and brought up in this country. And I don't feel that we should lose any more territory, any more.

19:20Right. Are you willing to go and fight for it personally? Yes. If I could. Is that a no? I'm nearly 50 years old. That's okay. That's okay, Hamilton. No, you absolutely can. And you will be issued with a rifle and some boots that melt in the heat presently. Maybe I would give them some boots and a gun and all of that. Right. How webless. I'm not asking you to fight for your daughters. I'm asking you to fight for some stranger 8,000 miles away. I get what you're saying, Nick. Do you? I get what you're saying, Nick. However, you don't want to. I get that. I still believe that. I'm not asking you to fight for your daughters. I'm asking you to fight for some stranger 8,000 miles away.

20:21That our country is strong. And we should stay strong. I have no idea what that means in relation to the Falkland Islands. What's that got to do with it? And echoing. It means everything, doesn't it? Everything. Oh, well, you should have said. No, I have no, you've gone over the edge now, but which is a place I cannot follow. But thanks to him, all for, you know, whatever that was. He wants us to keep hold of the Falkland Islands because we've lost too much already. But we're strong. But we're not strong. I've lost count. I really don't know where we are. Oh, Blom, it would just happen there. I just pressed a button. I've never done before. My screen went all wobbly. It's all right. I've got it back now. It's OK. Calm down. Susie says, hello, Nick.

21:21Marks and Spencer, have there Christmas things in? Oh, no, no. That is ridiculous. Just barely September. I bet there were, well, they must have been planning this in August. That is unforgivable. There Christmas things in. Why? Who on earth is thinking about Christmas right now? This is the best Oreo Speedwagon song is Roll with the Changes. It says Dave. Somebody wrote in yesterday and said, can we hear some Oreo Speedwagon? I said, absolutely. And then I went to the greatest hits of Oreo Speedwagon, which is on the wall behind me. And I wasn't a CD in there. You believe that? Someone has been off with it. The best Oreo Speedwagon song is Roll with the Changes. Well, I mean, keep on loving you. It's pretty great. And can't fight this feeling is a good one.

22:22Let's just say that they've had at least six songs that are absolutely great. And every home should have them. And this says, hi, Nick Farage. Regarding Farage, oh, the irony of Farage's press conference. He spent too much of his life wanting to get out of Europe. And he holds a press conference in the middle of England, conducted mostly in French. And how he plans to work with the French, hilarious, says Martin. Yeah, it's one of the things that I found funny about him this week, including but not limited to the suits that he was wearing. Where did you get that suit? I mean, you needed sunglasses to look at him. He was so bright. Looked a little speedy to me. Every single one of those get ups must have cost, so we say, £5,000. But you wouldn't get much, much change from that. But he had them knocked up on Savile Row. Betcher, Betcher, Betcher.

23:22Now, I've never had the note to walk into one of those shops. But I bet that they don't do off the peg. And if you want some older geese with a piece of chalk in his hand to knock you up one of them suits. But you don't get no change from £5,000. Looked like very expensive togs to me, kind of clothing that you wouldn't want anybody from Clackton touching. For instance, you know, not without donning white gloves like the Queen used to wear. Don't let anybody touch in, Ige. You never get that grease out of that bright blue suit. You'll always be there. Oh, there's more. He says, after one of the interruptions in his speech, Tetshe told his supporters that he was going to increase the price of the ticket next year, and they all cheered. Yeah. Well, they seem to be keen to vote for things that aren't in their best interest. There's absolutely desperate to do that for some weird reason.

24:24I don't really get it. And this says, does this mean that we can call Farage Man of the Pay Pal, which is a good one? I don't like that. I mean, it's good on many levels. Because Peter Teal. You know Peter Teal, don't you? Yeah, that's him. He was one of the inventors of Paypal, wasn't he? He's one of those billionaires who looks like all of the sweat that he ever excreats comes out of his face. What's that about? Why do all of those IT tech creepy billionaires all look like they sweat solely out of their face? What are they doing to themselves? And this says, my grandpa celebrated his 82nd birthday today. He's celebrated by doing absolutely nothing differently to every other day of his peaceful retired life. Good for him, says Matthew.

25:28Hello, boys. We were talking about cars yesterday and this says, I know you were doing more for the environment by running an old car into the ground than you would by buying a new car, says Dave in Bath. Well, yeah, that's right. I'm doing my bits to protect the environment. You're welcome at great risk to my personal self, by the way. Because I can't drive my car more than about 30, 40 minutes tops without it starting bonking at me. Stop driving so slowly, you moron, it says. It actually does say that. I mean, it doesn't call me a moron, but it does say stop driving so slowly. Stop pulling away. That's not helpful advice. So I think it's coming to the end of its life, which is rather disappointing because as people have pointed out to me over and over again, 108,000 miles is just barely run in. I mean, it should do double that, shouldn't it? But it appears to be coughing its guts up every time it goes below 30 miles an hour. It just can't stand it.

26:28Yeah, thanks a lot, Mayor of London. See what you've done. This says, I'm currently in my camper van in Abig of any in Welsh Wales. On a count of what you said, Wales was wonderful. On a count that you said, Wales was wonderful. I can confirm it is wonderful. I also went to the Goss and Coco. Fadina, sadly Jeff wasn't there after the Brecken steam railway tomorrow. Thanks for the recommendation, says Debbie. Oh, well, if you're on a steam railway, don't look forwards. Trust me when I tell you, Debbie, I made that mistake and I will never do that again. I must have told this story about a million times in brief. I went on probably the exact same thing that you just went on, Debbie. But in the carriage, it's one of those old carriages that hasn't got a corridor going all the way up it. You just pick the carriage that you want and hope there isn't a weirdo in there. But when you're in the carriage, you don't get any sense that you're in a steam train. So what's the point? You spent all that money on going on a steam train and then you get no idea that you're actually on a steam train unless you stick your head out the window and look forwards to see where the steam, see where the engine is.

27:41But when you do that, about two shovels worth of hot ashes go straight in your eyeballs. I had never thought that that would happen. I'd never even considered such a thing. I mean, you've seen pictures of steam trains and... Like that. They've got the black smoke coming out of the chimney and it looks very picture-squeue. But I think you hadn't thought what was in that black smoke. And if it gets on around your face holes, then it's going to hurt a very great deal indeed. And because there was no corridor, there was no toilet. There was no toilet with running water with which to splash the hot ash out of my eyes. And I was an absolute agony because I didn't have a bottle of water with me. That was one of the worst experiences of my entire life. I'm never going to do that again. So if you're on one of those trains, trust me when I tell you, don't look out. Manchester, low down.

28:41I don't know Nick. You know what? I waited for an hour to speak to you last night and I actually fell asleep on live radio. Oh really? Well, that's happened before. People do tend to drop off very late at night after being waiting for about an hour. But you styled it out. You even played in the alarm clock sound and I didn't wake up. So yeah. Anyway, I wanted to ask you about this apparent controversy about the new Adi G film coming out. Oh yeah. People were apparently boycotting it for being racist. What are you reckonin'? Well, I haven't seen it, of course, because it's not out yet. No, it's not out. Have you seen the trailer or do you know what Adi G is about? I know what Ali G is, but I have not seen the trailer. Do I think it's racist? I mean, at this point, I just have to think, is it funny? If it's funny, it's okay.

29:45So is a Jewish guy, of some, maybe I don't know, Middle Eastern kind of descent or something, you know, kind of hand-kind of skin, whatever, doesn't matter. Is a Jewish guy and he plays a character that obviously wants to be cool and exaggerate the cool parts of black culture. Yes. Is it because I am black and stuff like that? Right. But I think he's exaggerating that even more. I get in a new film by having dreadlocks and stuff. And now people are going crazy about it. I see white guys with dreadlocks. I see kids talking to each other in Jamaican, Patoire. You know, white kids from the local private school going, you know, talking like a Jamaican Yardi because they think it's cool. So I think, you know, one of the things that he's doing is just spoofing those people

30:47rather than cultural appropriation, which is what you're talking about. Well, it's hard to tell where we're spoofing it. Yeah. I've done it. He's played so many characters. He's played a very gay character. He's played an anti-Semitic character, even though he's Jewish. And I know he does it for the controversy, but I just... I just have to go back to it. If it's funny to me, it's okay. If it's done in anger and to hurt people, then I'm not okay with that. But if it's funny, I mean, if a crying out loud, are we not in need of funny in the world right now? Exactly. I love it. I love your opinion on that. All right, good work. Thanks a lot, Dan. You know, one of the things that he did... I'm going to praise Donald Trump now. What? One of the things that he did, he went around various people and he was playing this stupid character.

31:52And most of the people didn't want to tell him that he was an idiot. They didn't want to act as they should have done hearing the stupid things that he was telling them. They just sort of sat there and took it because they didn't want to be considered racist, probably. That was going through their minds. They were thinking... Warning, warning. You've heard not say anything to stupid morons sitting in front of you, because otherwise people would say, why are you only saying that because he's black or whatever. And he did one of those interviews with Donald Trump. And Trump sat down with him and I think the character was Ali G. It may have been Borat, one of the two. I think it was Ali G. And he said something like... I won't do the voice. Thank you. And he said something like, you know what? The most valuable thing is in the world. And Trump said a really smart thing, which was kind of surprising coming from him after what we know about him now.

32:56I mean, now you would think he would say something like gold or oil or something like that. He actually said music, which sort of press up me back a bit. I thought, oh yeah. Well, that's a very interesting thought. What is the world's most valuable product? Music. Possibly. I mean, you could look into the balance sheet of the major record companies and check that. But I think overall, there's some justification in that. And that's what Donald Trump said. He said music. And Ali G said, no, no, no, it's not music. It's ice cream. And Trump, you could see him getting slightly irritated. And it's sort of mental clock. This timer that Trump had given this guy started to tick on. And Ali G said, I've come up with some, like a great invention. And it's a glove that you hold the ice cream cone in so you don't get to the ice cream doesn't drip on your hands.

34:01And Trump, at that point, got up, said, I think he's going to make a lot of money. And he just left the room. And he was the only person to do that. Everybody else just sat there and took it. So that was the best thing I ever saw Donald Trump do. Give for short shrift to Ali G. Other than that, he's been a complete nightmare to the whole human race. 0345 6060 973. This says, Nick, I've got a small electric car back in Italy. It is fantastic. And with the E car grants, it only cost me 5,000 pounds. I'm not going to send you the model as it would constitute homework. But I'm very proud of my leap motor says Nick in Glasgow. Leap. I never heard of it. I've heard of leaf. But not leap to no one on me. Mind you, every car on the road isn't new one on me. I mean, really, it's just, it's as though we've sort of been propelled forward about 50 years into the TV show Space 1999.

35:03When they did have cars mocked up to look as though they were from the future. And they do pretty much look like everything is on the road right now. All of this new stuff and you just, I spend most of my time gulping thinking, well, what's that? Particularly at night when they got their lights on. Wow. I mean, they're really going to town with those neon LED strips, aren't they? I think they look great. But it wasn't a like a gradual change in the design of cars, which had been the same for so long, so long, all cars looked exactly the blooming same. Now we got propelled forward about, well, I don't know, it seems like I've got at least 10, 20 years to another period when cars all look the same right now. If they're all S giant SUVs, but at least they look different to what we had before. Different is better every now and again, it's Spicer Blife.

36:06This says the tape brothers had a whole garage full of supercars and were exposed as frauds renting everything cars houses. Maybe they should have hired high quality wigs instead and been happier people instead of women hating weirdos. Well, he or she is just trying to help. Just trying to help. And on the subject of Ali G, Steven says people think Ali G is racist, Borat is anti-Semitic and Bruno is homophobic, completely missed the point. All these characters exist to expose the bigotry of those they're interacting with. Well, yes, very much so. I think. I mean, I do recall, and he was quite brave, really. He went to a rodeo, didn't he, in one of his films. And I can't remember quite what happened, but I think he pretty much risked his life by taking the Mickey out of the Donald Trump supporting Yeehars who were at the rodeo.

37:09You know, those people. And I think he was lucky to get out with his life. If it's funny to me, it's okay. If it's done with hate, then it's not. That's where I draw the line. Anger band Nick, listen. Now, and what I'm trying to say to you is this mic, right? This says Nick, please, will you help me start a ban on something? I want to ban people saying, obviously, it seems to be the word that most people overuse and overuse in the wrong way. They say it every other word. It's so annoying. If you get it banned, I will give you absolutely anything in return that you want. Thank you for your attention to this matter, says Tom and Sally. Yeah, that sort of rubs my fur up the wrong way as well. People saying, and then, you know, obviously, I did this. And what's obvious about it? How is that obvious? It's just one of those words that people use to fill space, like, um.

38:10But it's just more annoying because I'm done, actually, meaning anything. I'm just a place to, you know, I'm about to say something else. So please continue to pay attention to me. People are just collecting their thoughts. But obviously, actually means something. And it's usually used by people in the wrong place, obviously. See, I'll just use it in the right place. People will say something like, you know, obviously, I came here by train. How is that obvious? What, you've got the train smell still lingering on you? This says, the Forkland Islanders can't be too bothered about being invaded by Argentina because they would pay tax towards the armed forces if they were, says, well, that's right. They don't pay tax to our government. Why are we sticking up for them? And this says, Nick, did you know that most hand-rides are really unhygienic?

39:11Yeah, I read that. They just blow the germs all over your hands. And I bet you thought in the back of your mind that that's what was happening. I mean, when, when are they ever cleaned? Particularly those kind of envelope ones. I was talking about this yesterday. You put your hands in and you have to try not to touch the sides, but it's impossible. Can you imagine what is living on the sides of those things? All of those people's hands that, you know, they're just into the smallest room in the place. Displusting. And then they come out and they just sort of glance their hands through a stream of water and do they use soap? No, because they're out of soap. They ain't got no soap. I said, they just sort of, they make all the germs on their hands wetter but they're by easier to be dispersed. And then they stick them in those hand-rides and they get blown by either side.

40:12And you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, you're, no matter how hard you try, obviously you're going to touch the sides. And who cleans those things? I'll tell you, no one. That's who, ever. No, I won't use them. Anyway, so Nick, do you know that most hand-rides are really unhygienic, according to a study? Who would have thought that something that is supposed to help clean your hands could be so dirty, says James in Gateshead? I agree. Yeah, I'd just wipe them on my shirt. And what really drives me up the wall is you've got your hands all nice and fresh and clean. And then you have to leave the area and the only way of doing it is to pull the door towards you. Oh, no. How are you going to do that then and maintain cleanliness on your hands? Because the people who haven't washed their hands after they've been in the smallest room in the place, the next thing that they've touched apart from the flush, and you can imagine how filthy that is, is the door handle to pull it towards them and then leave.

41:19You might as well lick a bus stop. 0345, 6060, 973. Muthetedful, hello Jeff. Hey, Nick, how are you doing, buddy? Good, thanks. Ever licked a bus stop? Oh, yeah, I'm not, not Kennedy. He's on a lovely seat, so whatever. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I would worry what you were talking about then. No, you mean the guy who licks, I can't find it. Where is it? One moment please. I will find it when we will not move on until I do. Okay. So are you sitting comfortably? Yep. Yeah, whatever. Maybe I've deleted it by accident. It looks like maybe I have.

42:19Oh, no. Anyway, yeah, better move on because time is tight. Yep. You know when you're driving this vehicle, viewers, I've got a money, will gearbox? No. Also automatic. Yeah. Oh, you drive it, but I'm... I think so. Yeah. I was driving along the yesterday, in fact, and because I've got the stereo one at the same time, I can't really hear what the engine is doing. And I looked down and I was doing 30 miles an hour in first. And I tried to get it out of first, because it's got paddles behind the wheel. Oh, yeah. And it wouldn't do it. It just would not do it. It said, nope, I'm driving in first. This is an automatic car and I have made my decision. Well, if you had a manual, you know, you can control the thing. I mean, one, you know, bought them.

43:19Yeah. And miles an hour, second, 20 miles an hour, you know. You know, and everything seems to work very well. Yeah, but if you had a manual, then you'd have a manual. And that would be just a nightmare. Stop and start traffic in a manual. Who would want that? Well, I'd say enough. No, you would even trouble that. If you were trying to go slow, can't help you. Anyway, I'm just thinking Kushner and Whitkov, whatever his name is. They are due to get banned. They do get banned because they look stupid. And they act stupidly. Yeah, they should be called Lurch and Whitlers. The only qualification that is his son in law, and the other ones are billionaire. A billionaire New York property developer. Who does that remind you of? And they're off note. Yeah. They go in there to say to poor old Solensky, you've got to give in.

44:25Give up. That's the best policy. Yeah. We've got a wonderful plan for you. You know, give up. I think it's still pathetic. You know, they don't look at them. Well, my problem is I am going to address from there. They're going everywhere all the time. They're midlies. They're everywhere. They're like, gormless couple making peace in the world. It doesn't instill any confidence. No, not really. No. I mean, they're making deals right now, but none of them seem to have anything to do with peace. Yeah. The background to it all is money. It's some owe. They can sort of make money and get mineral rates or rates to this or rates to that. And there they are. Solensky is got, he's got, he's got, he's got, he's up against all you. But as far as I can tell,

45:27if you create, yes, she'd be getting up behind. Yes, they appear to be winning, yet by actually fighting back, which seems to have taken Vlad the Insana by surprise. I just expected to keep punching them in the face and then having their hands hang limply by their sides and letting him do it. It's like a classic playground bully. But Ukraine did not do that. They put their hands up to defend themselves and then Vladimir Putin ran away to tell teacher. They've done, I mean, if you look at it objectively, what they've achieved is absolutely incredible. It is. But you could say the same for the Iranians. I mean, I've said this about a million times lately, but America spends more than the next 10 highest spending countries on weapons put together. And it still can't be Iran. And Iran is one of the bleephole countries. Exactly. Three bulls.

46:28And here we are, Trump and Putin. He's my best friend. You wouldn't do that. No, that's right. I know him very well. He's a great guy. And he told me that he's not attacking any NATO countries. While he was attacking a NATO country. And they are the best of the bees. And they both lose him. Is no damn easy. Russia is the third highest spending country on weaponry in the world. And they're losing to a country that is getting its weapons from Toys or Us. And not only that, change the whole of modern warfare. And the British army or the British forces better get ways to the fact that the world has changed and start getting into the drone job. Well, I'm not sure that they will because their people are shrieking at the government to spend 3% or 5% or whatever it is on GDP on weaponry.

47:33Like they just pulled this number out of their ear. And now they're absolutely insisting on it. And anybody who doesn't do likewise is attrace it to this country. What difference does it make if the world's highest spending country on weaponry? They spend more than the next 10 high spending countries put together. It can't be Iran. It couldn't be Afghanistan for crying out loud. When was the last time America won a war apart from with themselves? Where's the world going, Nick? I'm going behind the sofa. You know, I'm not coming out. I've got bad news for you, Jeff. You've been banned from behind your sofa. If you can get me the address of Krishna with cough or whatever his name is. I mean, the ease bond. The go e-congle the books. Just a just a dress it care of air fast one. It'll get there.

48:34All right, thanks a lot, Jeff. Let's see. This says, hi Nick, I'm still awake because I can't sleep. This is a message from last night because I had a new car delivered today. Ooh, how exciting. It's an eastern x-trail seven-seater that costs over 35,000 pounds. We bought it by trading in our old car and we're paying it over three years. And then we have to pay 20,000 pounds, which they call the balloon payment or upgrade it to another car. That's nuts, isn't it? Cars are a subscription product now. It says, I think that I'm, or maybe it's she. Yes, she. She says, I think that I'm now panicking because I know this sounds silly. But the whole reason why I bought it was because I needed an automatic because I've got a dodgy knee. But I tried to drive it up and down the driveway today and I feel like it's too difficult. I'm 70 years old and I'm thinking perhaps I'm too old to learn how to drive an automatic.

49:35What do you think says Karen in Bogna Regis? What are you talking about Karen? Driving an automatic is a piece of cake. Driving a manual is difficult, particularly if you've got a bad knee. Particularly if your bad knee is on your left knee. All of that, pressing and depressing the clutch and oh, when the, on the seldom occasions that I have to hire a car because my own is in the garage because it's threatened to blow up on me one too many times. I absolutely insist on an automatic car and if they haven't got one it's like, oh, good. No. Why would anybody want one of those? A manual car. What for? And people say, oh, you know, you get more control. What? Driving around town between red lights at 15 mile an hour. You're not doing wheelies, you know.

50:42Hot. Hey, Shorty, AIR. This says, hey, Nick, can you please sing Reformed Conference Song for next year? Hit me with your Reformed Stick. It's nice to be a Lunatic. Hit me! Rock'n'roll! One of the greatest live acts I ever saw. I mean, quite possibly the best. He was utterly mesmerising on stage. I can't think of anybody else who was, I mean, Alex Harvey out of the sensational, Alex Harvey band he was mesmerising as well. I mean, what an act. Both of those people had Ian, Dury and Alex Harvey. So fortunate that I saw both of those guys on multiple occasions. This says, Nick, you're dipstick, hey, not Reformed Stick, dipstick. You're dipstick calluses reformer idiots, but worse is this government and the green party who are dangerous. It's easy to pick holes in a party that's not in power. But look at the size of the holes, this inexperienced, and that's where it ends.

51:45There is no more. Well, never know. And Hassan says, don't be swayed by the electric car cult. EVs being and bonn all the time. They take hours and hours and hours to charge at home. And if you want the fast charge, it costs at least twice as much as petrol. This is, if you are lucky enough to find a working charger, not in use and has a working card reader. All this will take hours and hours and hours of your life every week. I've earned several for work since 2020 and they're a time hog. Now, I don't believe any of the above, Hassan. I take a relatively small trips in and out. It's pretty much all I do. And the car I've got is complaining about that regime long and loud. But I think it would be exactly what you want an electric car for, to tumbling along at 50 mile an hour for a relatively short distance, back and forth, back and forth and back and forth and back and forth. And if you've got the space at home to put one of them charges, well then bingo your luck is in. So I'm going to get one. I think I'm going to get one. I'm going to, I'm going to get a new car.

52:47What could possibly go wrong? So it's not a new car, but it will be new to me. Croydon, hello, Venky. Hi, Nick. Venky. Great to you as always. Thanks, obviously. Obviously. Obviously. I have three things that I wanted to run past years. Yeah. One. Did you see any of the coverage of, you know, reforms conference that's going on? Well, not live, but I saw clips on news sites. Did you see anyone under the age of 75? No. No. The generation that brought us Brexit, the generation that is probably the richest that this country has ever seen well, other than the royals. Yeah. And now they want reform. Yeah. Unbelievable. And they have to move this. I think they should really ban kind of these walks popularly that they do something

53:49there, you know, asking some old git coming in and basically saying, Hey, do you think Nigel Fry just done anything wrong? No, no, no, absolutely not. Will you ever not support him? No, no, no, no, absolutely not. I will always support him. It's a cult. Yes. Very much so. And it's the exact same thing that Trump has got going in America. They have the same policies, same people, same people behind them. And, you know, they are like two peas in a pod. Exactly. I mean, not obviously. They're not obviously one big difference is tried seems to get these sort of electric blue suits. Yeah. But all of a sudden he's had a glow up. Who say it's like, like, like, it's hired a stylist. Yes. And I don't quite understand how people are able to see them. And then are the eyes not going blind? It's so bright. It's so spivvy. I mean, it's the absolute opposite of his act, which is to be the normal tweed wearing

54:54pint drinking bloke down the pub. I mean, it's the total opposite of that. Yes. And James O.B. He was talking about this on Friday as well, which is other than the time when he's on camera, he seems to be always drinking the latest coffee, the latest champagne or wine or eating oysters. Yeah. But put a camera in front of him and he's all of a sudden the man of the preemphal. Well, he does this bodger Johnson thing. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where do we see it? Yeah, he's always dressing up in other people's work clothes or some sort of costume or other. And that's what it looks like to me. It's a costume with his stupid Union jack socks. I mean, for crying out loud, like that proves you're a patriot, you're wearing a flag on your feet. Exactly that. And the thing I don't get it is what will take for people to sort of finally wake up. It just isn't possible. I can't believe it.

55:54The whole conference room seems to be absolutely full. Everyone and anyone over there is just thinking the praises of this guy and I'm looking at them growing. What do you see in him? I mean, he's obviously a charlatan. He's obviously, it's just obvious. You can see it in the space. Venki, Venki, I believe now I've been counting and I think that that's five uses of the word obviously. And don't correct me, I might have. That is true. Yeah, you did it perfectly every time. Alright, excellent work. Thanks a lot mate. Gotta go. Nigel Farage has pledged tens of billions of pounds in tax cuts for working people. That is working people in the city and working people in hedge funds and people working on their yachts. No, that's not what he said. Tetshi Fagash, the reform UK leader, said his party would unveil a radical package of tax cuts designed to ease the cost of living and kickstart the economy. Trevor Spokes model Robert Jenrick is expected to reveal plans to slash 80 billion pounds from public spending with more than half from the bloated benefits budget.

57:04And all the fans of reform who are mostly on benefits could not have been happier to hear that because they have somehow made themselves believe that the tiger won't eat their face. I love the poorly educated. Seriously, people of Clackden who are peak reform territory, which is why Fagash selected them for special treatment are poor and on benefits. They have doubled the national in Clackden, doubled the national average of people with no degrees, a quarter have no educational qualifications at all, they have doubled the national average of unemployed, and one in five people in Clackden have never had a job. One in five are on personal independence payments, and they voted for a party that saying that they are the exact type of people that reform are gunning for. They are the benefits scroungers that reformists yell about, and that's where the poorly educated bit comes in handy.

58:08They're too daff to realize that they are the target of the party they vote for. So when reform say they will cut benefits by a fantastical 80 billion pounds, that is off the total benefits bill of 333 billion. But half of that is the state pension. So let's assume that that's not what reform is going to cut, because that would be brave considering that reform have the oldest supporters of any of the parties. So it's 80 billion off 333 billion, which is 253 billion. But payments to the disabled are 77 billion of that. Are they going to turf people out of their wheelchairs and their motability scooters? Because that would also be brave, because have you seen the number of people who get around on those in Clackden, for instance? So now we're down to 176 billion.

59:10But 145 billion of that is child welfare. I know they have a definite child catch a vibe about them, but are they really going to pull that lolly out of the mouths of babes? Probably not. So now we're down to 30 billion, from which Robert ticket inspector generic is promising to cut 80 billion. Who taught in maths? Nadim Zahawi. And one, two, three, six million. No. It's just silly. They're silly people who must know that none of this will ever happen. They're just hoping that enough of us have so little sense that we'll swallow this stuff. And I will challenge reform treasuries, spokesmodel ticket inspector generic to a pledge off. You say you'll cut 80 billion off benefits. I'll cut 180 billion off benefits.

1:00:10And use the money save to fly Union Jack flags halfway up every lamp post in the land. And I will paint the bottom of the English channel with the cross of St. George where the French can see it. Why won't you pledge to do the same, Mr. ticket inspector? In fact, why are the whole of reform refusing to paint the sea bed with a red cross on a white background? Where the French can see it? Why do they hate our country so much? 0345 6060 973. York. Hello, Jan. Hello, Nick. Jan, I'm great mate. Thanks for the presies. Did you get my note? Pardon? Did you get my note? No. Oh, well, it's the thought that counts. It is the thought that counts, yeah, you're right.

1:01:10Right. You know, you often say that TV documentaries are better in the old days. Yes. And that we can just talk to camera. Right. Did you ever watch six English towns in the seventies and the eighties? No. Oh, you've missed a treat. What is this? You know, Eric Klitschenthaler. No. Oh, looking well. I will do nothing of the shows. All right, then. Well, he's an architectural writer. And he used to go around these towns, you know, telling you how they were built and what they were made up and, you know, things like that. Right. And he was so, he wasn't meant to be funny, but he was amusing. I'm just, I am a lot of people. Six English towns, it just popped into my head one day about a fortnight ago. Is this on TV now?

1:02:10Are they repeating it? No, no, no, no. Okay. So it popped into my head. I don't know why. So I looked it up to see if there are any episodes on YouTube. Yeah. But they just do the DVD of these three series. So I treated myself and I'd be watching them all again. What's a DVD, granny? I know. Luckily, I've still got a player. So, you know, I'm all right there. Yeah. And I'm just written it down. I'm going to put it in my pocket and I will look at it later. Yeah, you want to do that? I've probably put my, I've probably put the things that that pocket is in in the wash. And it will come out just like a bunch of fluff. Yes. Well, I hope you don't. It's really good. One of the reviews I read said it wouldn't work today. A lovely old Duffer in a vial shirt and three jacket, pottering about six small English towns with a camera crew in tow.

1:03:12Yeah. And speaking quietly of their simple virtues, well, you know, why wouldn't it work today? It's great, I think. Yes. You need to. I missed those old programs when a person would just explain things to him, kind of like being in school, but with pictures. And you could say that Jacob Brunowski did that and Kenneth Clark's civilization. He did that and there was Robert, the guy who did the shock of the new, also did an excellent program about American art, Robert Hughes. You know, all of those old people that did those old people, those people that did those shows in the 70s and 80s when they were just explain things and behind them there would be a picture of something that they were talking about these days. And it would be an hour long. And you'd have to sit there and pay attention. And you would learn things. These days, the same thing would be presented by some homeless teenager with a haircut standing on top of a mountain.

1:04:15While a helicopter goes around, the filming of it sunset, the music would be playing and they'd just be saying things like, oh, isn't this amazing? It's just the stupidification of this great nation is continuing with the bass. I know, it's terrible. I've just written a couple of things down that you said, can I tell you about that? Yes, please. I am looking at the John E. House in Chichester. Yeah. And he says, this is a lovely house. It's ought to be the most imposing in the city. What is shame it's condemned to hide behind two enormous magnolia trees? Oh, I like magnolia trees for a brief period in the spring. They just don't last long enough, do they? But wait and see, wait and hear what is ours. He says, the idea of cutting them down, what shops all people I'm sure, yes. But it should be done. No. And preferably tomorrow. Well, there we part. I can't agree within there.

1:05:15I mean, I haven't seen them, but I can't imagine that a magnolia tree would look better cut down. Well, anyway, I looked up this house under having been cut down. Oh. Oh. So there. Yeah. Another one. You're looking at some lovely Georgian windows. You know, it's like once with the sand, sash windows. Yeah. And it says the ground floor windows have lost their glazing bars. What a wretched deprivation. They sit without speeches. He sounds very much like that guy who used to write about art whose name is eluding me. He used to write about art for the standard standard. And he did a program when he walked about Italy with a dirty white umbrella. Using it as a parasol. Oh, yeah, I know you mean. What's his name? Oh, God. A tattoo. But he was very entertaining as well. And he was funny, often without seeming to be trying to be funny.

1:06:18And he was forever going on about, that's exactly how he sounded. He would be standing in front of a statue of a polo or something like that. And look at the butterks forever going on about a statue's butterks. And it was kind of laugh out loud, funny. But he was very, very well educated and the newest stuff for sure. And you were entertained and you learned things while you were watching him. Now they ditched the learning part and it's all about the entertainment. It's kind of sad, really. A couple of other things. He was on the belt. He said, here we have an object lesson in pointing. Buildings can be made on the art by the quality of pointing. This one, the mortar is exactly right. This one on the other hand, a frightful botch. See, that's exactly what you want from a television presenter.

1:07:20You want somebody with an opinion. Somebody who knows their stuff and can back it up. But who has sort of controversial opinions? I love that. I'm going to look that up, but, Jan. Yeah, you want to do. And there's also a memorial garden to him. So you could go visit him. Really? Yeah, you like gardens. Yeah, I do. Where is that? It's in Kensington. Oh, Kensington. Yep. Kensington Gardens. No. It's in Kensington. It's a garden that's in Kensington, but it's not Kensington Gardens. No, it's not Kensington Gardens. Right. It's next to St Mary Abbott's garden. And that was the former church that had a Kensington Palace church. Right. Well, you give me a lot of homework here. I know I have. I'm sorry about that. I'm up to the task. I will make an exception in this case and only this case. Good. Excellent work. Thanks a lot, Jan. All right. Cheers, my dear.

1:08:20You're welcome. A little bit of a little progress. And that's three, four, five, six, eight, nine, seven, three. This says Hi Nick. What's the matter with you? Are you a speedbag? And it is your rock? Maybe you should listen to some proper music. I do. Since when do you only listen to one type of music? I listen to everything. Okay. Not country music. Necessarily, although I mean, I wouldn't turn the radio off if, you know, came on, for instance, or Dolly, everyone loves Dolly. But, you know, Yacht Rock is great Yacht Rock with include Michael McDonald. How can you not like Michael McDonald? Chris Rhea is Yacht Rock. The Dooby Brothers, I suppose if you really squinted, you'd say that Steeley Dan is Yacht Rock. And that's some of the best music that's ever been invented. I like Yacht Rock and Hard Rock and Punk Rock and Soul and Dance and Disco and you name it, I like it.

1:09:22As long as it's good. And some of those Aureo Speedwagon tracks are absolutely great. I mean, they're not as good as Journey. Let's not get carried away. Hazel Meier, hello, Della. Hello, Nick. And today not as good as Barry Manelow, who got invention yesterday again. Are you talking it up? You can't get it off of the battle. No, I know, but I shouldn't be mentioning on this show, you know, what with the, what with the curse? I thought that said you when you and Carol speak about it. Well, perhaps. Yeah. But I think somebody went just recently and I think it was my fault because I mentioned their name outside of the podcast that I do with Karen McGiffin. All right. I can't recall who it was now. I would be a lawyer. It doesn't matter whether I say the name out loud because they're dead or I can't kill them twice. That's true. That's true. I was just thinking out because you know, maybe we could do a swap. Well, the Americans have given us back Harry and Megan. Yeah. But maybe they could give us as well something nice, like Manelow. In fact, we could swap the new prime minister with Manelow. I think that would be

1:10:28a good idea. But barely man enough is is American, isn't he? Yes. That was a Terry Wogan line, by the way. That was my material. Terry Wogan used to call in that. What was it? Barely man. Barely man enough. Yeah. Pretty good. He used to call hospitality hostility. Hostility. Yeah. Yeah. Right. All right. Yeah, I had another thing came to my, oh, before that, Brian so Brian so that's right. The bus. I interviewed him on the radio a very long time ago. I have I know. And I was quite excited. And this is when I was younger and more stupid, even more stupid than I am now. Can you believe that? No. It's going to say it's not possible, but that's a nice, the right answer to that. Yeah. Sorry. And at the end of the interview, I said,

1:11:29do you really talk like this? And he said, we're of course I do. That's brilliant. Nick. Wow. What a clipper to have in your arrow to have in your eye. Yeah. That's amazing. I heard him. He went to visit people in prison and he said, oh, we all had a laugh at how I speak. And then we got formed with the art. He didn't take himself too serious. No. Yeah. I know. He's one of the people that we miss. You know, one of the people that made this country great. Yes, because he was on something with Dave Gorman, one of those quiz shows where he had to say, yes, or no to the audience. He said, oh, does it involve audience participation? How dreadful. Better. But anyway, my other question was about your car because you said, what was it that it

1:12:31doesn't like if you go too slowly? Yeah, after about 30 minutes of crawling around London, it starts to bong at me. Stop driving so slowly you moron or words to that fact. So are you, is it like Sergeant Bullock in speed or if a worse like doogling farther Ted or the milk track? Right. I don't know. I don't, I never read, I never watched Father Ted. So I know, I know no idea about that. But yeah, it's a kind of like Sergeant Bullock in speed. I can't go below 30. Otherwise, my car will blow up. But in in farther Ted, there was Pat Mustard. He put a bomb on a doogles milk float. I've got no idea what you're talking about. Oh, all right. Okay. Well, it was quite good for, okay. But yeah, probably better get that car seen to or throw it in the bin or something. Yeah, I think I'm going to do both. I'm going to take it back to the garage. This is a different garage. This is the manufacturer's facility. And first I'm around, I took it in and they said, well, charge you 220 pounds just to look at it.

1:13:35Oh, yeah. Well, okay, then, I mean, what are your what are your options? And so they looked at it and they said, well, we've got no idea what you're talking about. We can't find that problem. But we have found other problems that will cost you 2000 pounds. Yeah. So they gave, gave me back the car, charged me 2000 pounds. And the problem I took it in with continued. They hadn't fixed it at all. So now I'm taking it to a different location of the same company who will also charge me 220 pounds just to look at it. And I mean, I want to show me if they can't because they've charged you whether you haven't fixed it. You say, oh, you haven't fixed it. I took it in here. It doesn't work. And it still doesn't work. It still doesn't work. Yeah, but they fixed other problems, you see? Yeah, but not the thing that you can even fall into point of that. I know. That's awful. It is awful. What else do you go and ask for a service? And then they provide a different

1:14:38service, but not the service you actually ask for in the first place? Yeah, but you go to the dentist and they say, well, I can't see why your tooth is just throbbing, but your your feet need attention. But you need one of those guys. Who's the one before you? Is it Dean Dunham? And the other one. Yeah, Daniel. And Daniel and who's the other one that's two? Are they? No, there's two. Dean and Daniel. That's it. Two different people. Yeah. Yeah. What have been needs to help you out? Absolutely. Yeah. You know, that's all I got tonight. All right. It sounds like you delivered it and you knew when the time was up and you were pretty much out the door before it. I say goodbye. Appreciate it, Dalla. Thanks a lot. Cheers, my dear. Oh, three, four, five, six, oh, six, oh, nine, seven, three. This says, why do Americans put their hands over their hearts during the National Anthem? I thought it was their wallets. Maria says,

1:15:38good evening, Nick. Nigel Farright said in his closing speech that Britain is broken. No one asked him who broke it. Yeah, he did. Yeah, it's broken. You broke it. Robin in New Forest says, Nick, apropos of nothing. Who would win in a sumo wrestling bout between Bodger and Eric Pickles? Secondly, how much would you pay not to see it? An unlimited amount of money, Robin. And now my mind is uncontrollably running away with that. Oh, disgusting. Please. The Falkland Islanders can't be too bothered about, oh, yeah, okay, read this one. The Falkland Islanders can't be too bothered about being invaded by Argentina because they would pay tax towards the armed forces if they were, says Will. Yeah, that's right. They don't. Don't pay any tax that comes to us. Why are we bothered about them? Like any oil off their

1:16:39coast is going to do us any good. Please. This says, hi, Nick, I can think of a few countries where complainants are harder to find because, you know, Farridge was going on about people complaining. Winging and whining and moaning. He was winging and whining and moaning about other people winging and whining and moaning. Can he hear himself? Lucy says, hi, Nick, I can think of a few countries where complainants are harder to find like Russia and North Korea. It's funny how those countries only work for the good of the country's elite. No doubt, though, that suits a man with an account at Coots down to the ground. If he gets the control, he wants, says Lucy in Bahlham. And, and you're going to have to prepare yourself for this. I read this ahead of time. Take a moment. Are you ready? Hi, this came in yesterday. Hi, Nick. My mom was 96 and a door listening to you.

1:17:42When she was in a care home, I'd bring to remind her you were on. Your humor gave her so much pleasure and she loved politics right to the end. I sadly lost her last year. Even now, when you're on, I look at her picture in my kitchen and say, mum, Nick's on now. In my heart, she's still listening. I enjoy working with people. Yeah, sure. Why not? This says Friday night is happy night. This is messages from last night, obviously. Obviously. Friday night is happy night. Can we stop talking about Farage and Death and discuss boot sales? Says, don't know. Boot sales. Now, I'm assuming you don't mean sales of boots. You mean car boot sales in which, by the way, and this is a fact you cannot buy car boots. They're kidding about that. I've never been to a car

1:18:42boot sale in my life. I, well, they're on too early, apart from anything else. And I think they're on the weekends as well. So the weekends are out because weekends is work days. So I've avoided the pleasure of a car boot sale, although I can't imagine there's much pleasure to be had there. This says, as a forces veteran having done three tours of the folkland, so I find your parity and sarcasm commentary offensive. The entire world is made up of places where different nationalities state claims, whether right or wrong, you can't just decide hundreds of years later that you don't agree and invade just because it's near you. Isn't that the history of this country? Isn't that what we did for hundreds of years? We decided that we didn't agree with who owned what. And so we invaded. That's what we did. So you can decide if you don't agree and invade. We practically invented it. This says, Nick, do you think that there will be immigration to Africa from

1:19:44Clackton after climate change? And how will the Africans feel about it? It says Marwan. Well, badly, I would imagine. They'll be pushing them boats back out to to see. Those people are definitely going to drown. I would imagine that there's practically 0% of people in Clackton, who not know how to swim. South Norwood, hello, Philip. I'll go even. Yes, Philip. I was very, very interested. I enjoyed the performance. I liked Nigel Veral, his warm-up man this week David Bowel at the conference. When Nigel's appearance was delayed. David came on stage and he said, oh, you're looking forward to seeing Nigel. And a few people were good. And he had to do it again, you know. He said, I'm asking again. Yeah, he said, oh, cheer in and thing. And then he said, he said, you, you, it may be a while. He said, well, I want you to do. He said, it's to go away, check to somebody and make a new friend. What? Yeah, that's what he said. He said that, you

1:20:47know, as it was a bit of time before Nigel came on. Yeah. And you said, yes, I will, I will walk around the conference. He said, have a chat with somebody and make a new friend. That, no, it's it's a it's a bit creepy. Well, yeah, I mean, I've seen this thing David on TV because he does, you know, he's a broadcaster as well. I don't know who it is you're talking about. David Bowel, the he's a little bit, he was, he was, he's been something in, no, it's your group. I've seen him on TV and radio and radio. Yeah, he was doing his warm up act, you know, is he a comedian? No, no, no, he's a politician. Oh, right. He's a politician. He appears on one of those stations that I wouldn't dare mention the name. Well, appreciate that. And you know, like that. And the other thing that caught my attention this week, do you see the pictures of the people of the fight on the London Underground? No. Who am I? Oh, I saw a still picture. I didn't see the

1:21:51video where they have. I saw the picture like you did. Yeah. And it will put memories there because some years ago, I was on the platform. I was in space in in South London. And I heard the noise. And I turned around and there were two robins having a fight on the platform. Well, robins are very feisty birds, aren't they? Very, very aggressive. Territorial. Yeah. Territorial and aggressive. And they were fighting. Suddenly one of the robins decided he did that and decided to fly through the open glass door of the station. Yeah. And fortunate to eat the door shut. Oh, no. And they're rubbing best into it. And you know, it's a bit, I think he was all right. He got out and flew away. But it's interesting. It's not just people have a punch up. You got a noise. No, it's not. It nature is awful. Just think something has to die for every other animal's dinner. Yeah. Oh, yes. Yeah. What they call the food chain?

1:22:58Is it not the food chain or the animal chain? The food chain. Yeah. Thank goodness the way out of that. I was documented the other about Hawaiian islands, the North Hawaiian islands. Yeah. And there's one the midway, which was up in the middle of June the war wasn't the midway. And they were talking about the food chain on there. And it was fascinating that our each animal is connected in some way, you know, with another animal. Yeah. Fascinating but terrifying. It's fascinating for us. And it's entertaining and interesting and all. But you know, for animals, apart from the ones at the very top of the tree, like not much gets a lion or a tiger, for instance. But everything under them has to die for somebody else's dinner. It's absolutely horrific. It's watching the sharks, you know, there's having to go into the seals and you the birds. Yeah. There was one bird. That'll be our butchers. They had problems, they landed on midway. They could land okay, but they can't take off stupid birds. No, no, no, no, no, they're not stupid. What the problem was,

1:24:01there was this bush that grew on the island, sort of weepered, that prevented them from taking the sort of runway approach. Yeah, right. You get off you see. And these people that were on the islands doing the program, they spent about a couple of days trying to clear as much as they could. Are they supposed to do that? Well, I mean, you're not going to leave Paul a little bit of a truss. Well, I thought that all of those nature documentary documentaries, it was in their code, that they could not, even if it was really sad, they couldn't help. But you know, every now and again, you do see a film of something that is just, that is just too sad and they, I can remember a some bird was going through mud and mud was clinging to its legs and it was drying out and then more mud was, you know, was forming around the sort of mud balls around its tiny little legs. And they were filming it and it was obviously going to die because it, it couldn't walk, it had two

1:25:03balls of mud, one on each leg about the size of a tennis ball. And Paul thing was just flapping about and it was obviously, you know, close to death. And so the people that were filming it, they just said, well, we can't take this anymore. We're going to help that poor thing. And it was a beautiful moment. I mean, the thing is these weeds, I mean, they were a menace. So in other words, they were doing some good by getting rid of it, you know, anyway, have a good weekend. All right, thanks a lot for that. Well, that ended suddenly. I was getting all comfortable and then that, that's it. I'm leaving. So, somebody said yesterday that Simon Cowell is going to copyright. It's a yes from me or it's a no from me or some of the other things that apparently he says on that stupid show, which I cannot believe is still going. I saw the first one of those. A Britain's got talent and I can report that Britain has not got talent. We ain't got none.

1:26:06And that was on the first of those shows. Do you imagine the what they're coming up with now? Talk about barrel scraping. Anyway, Rachel in New York City says, the domain name, it's a yes from me.com is still available to buy. I find that really surprising. Because if you've ever tried to find a domain name that has words in the English language, it's practically impossible. Somebody's got everything, which is why a lot of companies now have like nonsense words in their name. Well, there were there were there were words are spelt incredibly badly. It's not deliberate on their part. It's because they couldn't find anything else that hadn't been bought already. I'm kind of surprised. It's a yes from me.com is still available. By the time I stop talking about it, it won't be anymore.

1:27:07This says Simon Cowell solves the long trouser leg problem. We were talking about clothes sizes. Simon Cowell solves the long trouser leg problem by just pulling them up to his chest. Says Martin in Enfield. I guess is that his thing? You know, like a lot of TV stars and the like, they've got a look that's like like their logo. Like a lot of people do with their hair. Don't they like crazy leaders of countries have terrible hair stars. Not thinking of anybody in particular. Don't be rude. But there's one of them. And others have something weird to do with their clothes. And I think that's his thing, isn't it? He pulls his trousers way up to his, you know, under his arms. Kind of looks weird to me. If he's doing it to make himself look taller, I think he needs to think that out again. And Phil says, I never understood what the point of a car boot style starting so early was.

1:28:09Why don't they all just agree to start a bit later? Madness says Phil. Yeah, what is the point of that? I mean, I suppose it's, it's like, like an arms race of earlyness. Well, I'll set my stall out to eight o'clock in the morning. And then I'll get all the, all the best people. They'll be people with money, they'll come around first thing and they'll buy the first thing that they see. So I'm going to set my stall out at eight. Oh, well, in that case, I'm setting my stall out at 730. 730, I'm setting my stall out at 7 and pretty soon. They're in, they're all in place 24 hours before it starts. Yeah, no, he won't catch me down there. Like markets, markets are the same. So too blooming early by the time you actually, you know, get up a hunger like gum bar market, for instance. By the time I'm ready to eat, they're all, they've all shut up shop and they've gone home.

1:29:13Not that I'm complaining or anything. Winging and winding and moaning. 0345 6060 973. Let's have a Corbridge Darren. Even Nick. Darren. Well, I work at a market and I market 7 to 4 o'clock. So, you know, 4 o'clock in the evening. Yeah, on a Sunday, yeah, Newcastle. So, you know, either you're really lazy or you're just can't be bothered to. 4 o'clock is very early to finish though, do you think? Not at all. Not at all we've got. Well, I got that wrong. Well, early to finish, early, no, not really. Corocont. Yeah, right. Anyway, look, you're all forgiven for never having been to a boot sale, but you're not forgiven for having never watched far the dead. What is wrong with you? You know, I often don't find British comedies funny. Like, I've tried many of them and I just sit there thinking, am I supposed to be laughing now?

1:30:16I mean, the studio audience is brawling its faces off. But it's Irish. What's that got to do with it? Mother Irish is totally, Ireland isn't Britain. Right. Okay, did I say British or English? Right. You said British. Right. English speaking. No, well, British. Okay, so it's Irish. So, British Irish saying blooming thing in this regard. They're both speaking English. And it's made around these parts. Well, as far as I'm concerned, you're comically bereft. If you have, your listeners will have been chucking their slippers at their wyluses. Now they know that you've never watched far the dead anyway. I very much doubt that. Any more than if I tell them that I've never watched only Fools and Horses. Well, that's not so great. Is it only Fools and Sources? Yeah, that's a bit. Can I tell you about an encounter that I had a few years ago with the greatest nuclear player, Aburrani Osorven?

1:31:17My friends had a son, the 10-11-year-old son, and they took him to the Crucible Theatre, and he was waiting for his hero out there just to get a signature, you know, and a selfie. And they waited and waited. And a few plays went in, ensuring that of he, you know, here he came and the boy got excited. And Rani stopped and he talked to him, and he signed his book, and he got a selfie, and Rani afforded him, afforded a parent quite a bit of time, asked them what they did, and that was that. And the kid was absolutely made up, dream come true. And the following morning, my friends were having their breakfast, just three of them, and who walks in to get his breakfast and stay in the same hotel, but Rani also ordered them, and Rani spots them in the corner, and he brings his breakfast

1:32:21out, and says, do you mind if I join you? And they, you know, we're, we're, we're, we're, we're, we know. Of course not, so he sits down with them, and they spend their breakfast eating, their breakfast with Rani, I saw them, they were there to see the snooker, so they couldn't believe it. My mate calls me, tells me what's happened, and that was that. That morning, there were a dude to go back home, because they're going to go and see one of the sessions of snooker, and they went in a caddy for a little bit of lunch, and they got tacked that this won't take too long, next week, and I can, I can, I can, I can, I can, I can hear, I can hear an interdiction coming. This is the quietest you've ever been. Yeah, I know. Well, you know what I'm thinking? I'm thinking, this better not be the, the wind up to a joke. It's not a joke. I just, we know you don't do jokes, we know you don't, we know you don't do that, so I'm not going to do that here. Get on with this. No, all right. Okay. So we get talking to a couple of sellers in there,

1:33:22who've got two tickets to see the final session of, of the snooker that evening. They give my mates these two tickets, my mates leave the cafe with their son, and who is walking towards them outside, but the man himself, running inside. I think he's been stalking. It's possible. He says, you're going to come watch tonight, and they say, well, we've got two tickets, but there's three of us. And he said, John, with me, he takes the boy by his hand, and they walk towards the crucible. And Ronnie says to the guys, right, we need another ticket here. And the guy said, no, we can't do it. It was COVID times and all that. So they get the tournament director on the phone. And you can hear this guy shouting at Ronnie. And Ronnie says, if you don't get these guys another ticket, I ain't playing. He then he walked in with my friends and their son. And as he looked down

1:34:28to the boy holding his hand, he said, when I went tonight, and he only had one frame to play, you can check this out. When I went tonight, I'm going to give you my winners medal. All right. My mate then called me, told me what happened. I tuned in. I couldn't wait to see, you know, this guy present my mate's son with this medal, because that's what I heard was going to happen. The ticket tape came down onto the table, Ronnie had won the World Championship. And nothing. I didn't see anything. Approximately 830 that evening. I'm almost finished next. I know what we're thinking. Knock on the door on the hotel door. Will you come and join Ronnie in his party at in his winning party? I couldn't believe it. Went to the party. Got that Ronnie approached them and gave this kid his winners medal. There were dignitaries there, such as Jimmy White, Ronnie Elson of Insania, Ronnie Wood, you know, dignitaries. That's my little content for the evening.

1:35:34And they're a great time. Few months later, he's busy. This is a book. It's all, it's two, 10 seconds more. Ronnie came to the market. He had around my gazebo where I worked and he said, would you like a cabab? And I devoted a lot of my stuff that's like to snooker. And that for me was like Muhammad Ali asking me if I wanted to sandwich or Tiger Woods. They go, end the story. I could feel you rushing me even in your silence. No, that was you thinking. This is going on way too long. Alright, okay. Thanks a lot, Darren. Well, at least that's over. I just want to tell you all how happy I am to be back in the studio. Maybe your picture again. Yes, a radio show, dear. This says, Nick, don't forget that your hero, your hero, Roger

1:36:35Doltry is a massive fan of Brexit. Look it up. It's a thing. Well, first of all, he's not my hero. He was in one of the most exciting rock bands I ever saw. And he has got a tremendous voice. And he's been on some of the greatest rock records that have ever been made. But he's not my hero. And this says, I went off the who, when I found out that Roger Doltry is a foaming in the mouth, a swivel-eyed Brexit person. So no more of their music. For me, thanks. And this is totally the wrong attitude. Doesn't matter what his politics are, we have to remove the person from the art. Because otherwise you won't be able to listen to anything. I mean, if there are rules and regulations about what you cannot, cannot listen to based on what they have first said on, you know, some political subject at some point in their lives. Well, I mean, we're talking about draining the fun out of life. Same with the allergy, alley G thing, I would say that was pretty much the same thing. I mean, if you find it funny, then that's fine. It doesn't really matter whether it's, you know,

1:37:36whether some people are going to find something offensive or not. I mean, everything is offensive to someone. If you removed the art from the walls of the National Gallery or any of the world's great galleries, if you removed the art of an artist who had done something unpleasant, whether it would be barely anything on the walls. Nick said, hi Nick, this says, we only use supermarket food delivery when I am away. I am the only one who drives. They don't really check the sell-by date. My husband only complains to me, but not the supermarket. It's too much hassle, so there's Annie. Well, I think you need to correct your husband. I can't not into you. You were away at the time. San Francisco, hello, Mike. Hello, Nick. I wanted to talk about pronunciation today. Per-Noun-C-Asian. Some of us.

1:38:38We're announcing some of my broadcast friends. We're talking about how to pronounce the name of the country, I-R-A-N. Yeah, well, you say Iran. No, my lot does not. Most of us have learned to say Iran. And then somebody who works for NPR said, no, you're supposed to say Iran. Yeah. So that kind of thing, I would say, what is the capital of France? Howie. Yeah, it is Paris. That's what the capital of France is. Right. Well, I love the British. Yeah, you all British because you pronounce it words kind of the way you want to. Yeah. A few years ago on television, there was a story involving the Middle East and Country called

1:39:39Bahrain, B-A-H-R-A-I-N, which that's how you and I would say that. Yeah. But no, one report television reporter started saying it, Bachum. Bachum? Right. Yeah. And then all the other television reporters after this were in a sitting contest. Right. For the rest of the time, they were going in Bachum. Yeah. Yeah. More authentic than you are. Which is completely ridiculous, because as I say, I will forever go back to what is the capital of France. And none of them, absolutely none of the people that you're talking about were bending themselves into pretzel shapes to say the name of some Middle Eastern country correctly as a Middle Eastern person would say it. None of them would say Paris. Would they? Yes. They wouldn't. They would not. We used to work for quickly. We used to work for a radio station, fancy one in New York. When I answered the phone, and one day, Dr. Wood called and he said, I'm Dr. Wood, would you please tell the anchor of the

1:40:46newscast that you pronounce the name of the president of Peru at the time, Fernando Belau-Unday-Terry, not Belau-unday-Terry. But when did the anchor? I said, some crackpot is on the phone and told you, you're supposed to pronounce it this way. And as the anchor looked at me and he had a note pad in front of them, well, what did he say? And I told them what the guy said. And that's how everybody pronounced it after that and turned out that Dr. Wood was a linguist from Columbia University, he had been contracted to tell people how to pronounce things. Right. They were all consistent. Right. Yeah. I thought he was some, yeah, I thought he was. I didn't know he was. Just some random and not. Yeah. Well, how does he pronounce Q-A-T-A-R? I don't know that he would, if not a lot of pronounced it. I heard Colin Powell say, cut her. Cut her. Yeah. Other people say,

1:41:52at tar, but at the end of horrible. That's really, really horrible. Yeah. That's just right. Of course, you bring up a lot of, you bring up a lot of Qatar when you say Qatar. That's just a fact. That's just a medical fact. That's right. Yeah, like that. Yeah. All right. Thanks for the news, Mike. Are you trying to tell me that this is your act? Yes, that is exactly what I am trying to tell you. These are messages from last night. This one says, it's true. Tetchy Frog Ash was making a video cavorting on the top of the houses of Parliament. Fiddler on the roof seems an appropriate film to mention says Alexandra. Stevenage, hello, Lewis. Hello, Nick. Good evening. Yes, Lewis. I was listening and I was thinking, I'm 23 and obviously watching everything was reform and their confidence over the past couple of days. And I thought that my generation is

1:42:53supposed to be the numerically illiterate bunch. These sort of fantasy mathematics is ordering on insane, really? Well, they know that they can say anything they like, because there's no chance in hell that any of them are a going to be elected to run the country and b, even if they were, then none of the above ads up. So they're not going to be able to do it anyway. And they just say, well, you know, we wanted to cut all your text to zero, but the deep state is preventing us from doing that. Well, yeah, I definitely, I think it's if you remember, when Paul and sort of promised him like free broadband to everyone, sort of the need of Christ things that can't even properly be priced, I think. Free broadband, you could price that, just add up the number of homes in the country and divide it by how much it costs to squirt the internet up them. What you did, did different conversations. I also think this will be kind of

1:43:53the tax tweaked like Britain's a household budget that is ignoring the whole, I don't know, the 1971 P out experiment with mixing and the deal in full of gold is hitting its mathematical wall, but it can't quantitatively use it or rather debate our culture any further. It's a very bad line and it sounds like you're talking gibberish now Lewis. I didn't really get most of anything that you just said. It's I understand some of the noise you made, but it didn't sound like English as I know it. So either get a new phone or pop it in a letter, but thanks for whatever that was. Nick, this says, please tell your caller. I am the nutter that gives a 10 pound tip for delivering my food shop says Helen in Western Orwood. Car, well, I think you're making up the difference for everybody else. I bet nobody pays those poor people. This says, my name is Al and at this moment I am working for one of the top supermarkets and we get fresh delivery of meat and

1:44:55veg every morning at 3am nationwide. So there's always fresh veg and meat about and then picked for you lot from from 4am. Wow, that sounds like an attitude. The hell you lot. I'd be surprised if supermarkets just handed out the freshest stuff that they had on their shelves because what are they going to do with all the things that are up near to the sell by date? Going to throw those away. Big cost to doing that. So I would only doing COVID did I? And then only once did I get somebody to deliver food? Can you remember how difficult it was trying to get a delivery slot for food at the height of COVID? Absolutely impossible. So I didn't. What I used to do was because I used to come and do the show here and I was pretty much the only person that was out and about in London at the time. You could park anywhere. You could walk down the middle of the road because there

1:45:56was no traffic and many many people, homeless people were doing just that. It's like the homeless took over the West End doing the absolute peak of COVID when everyone was totally freaking out and I was doing the show with with marry golds on. I actually did that for a couple of times. Glad I didn't want to touch anything because you know you're an erradio studio. Nothing that I am looking at right now ever gets cleaned because the cleaner would be petrified of touching anything. I mean I'm you know I'm surrounded by millions of pounds worth of very expensive. What it does? I have no idea. But there's lots of pretty lights on it. It looks pretty groovy to me. Yeah, I was there. But I wouldn't imagine a cleaner would ever touch it. I mean they would be terrified of you know pressing the wrong button. So yeah I did the show in Marigolds. But after the program I used to stop in the middle of nowhere and there'd be corner shops and they were the only ones that

1:47:01had anything. You wanted toilet rolls and you went to like a mega mart and they were all gone because somebody had backed a lorry up to the to the place and they bought all of them in one go and stuffed them in their garage. But corner shops they had everything. My point being see if I can work my way back to it that I only have ever had a delivery once. So I don't have much experience of shop food deliveries but I would imagine they'd want to get rid of the old stuff first wouldn't they? They would do what you don't do and take what's at the front of the shelf rather than route in the back of the shelf to see if you can find something that's got a later used by date. But I don't know whether that's true. I'm just imagining it. This says for the last six months I've been saving your programs as files on my computer. This week I read them all into an AI program and I asked it several questions. The results were

1:48:06interesting. Be careful and avoid self-driving cars and anything reliant on AI says Keith. Well that's just good advice. Don't rely on AI because at some point it will become self-aware and then it's curtains for humankind. I've seen that film. Tivason. Hello Margaret. Oh Margaret. Hello long time no but I am having a ball tonight. Yes how are you? I am great mate. I was to get to ask you everybody's so polite. I just linger in. Yeah. But now why were they ringing you? It's a long time now. It's so rangy. I've just been shortening all evening. I know what it was. It was about people. People. Yeah. People who like people. My mother, my mother, bless her, saved her life. She was kindness to everybody. She would always go out of her way to make people

1:49:12fly as better. She'd been in the zoo. Wonderful. But when somebody died quite often she'd go, well I never liked her. Wow. It's a deal with it. A light when I think you have to speak directly into the phone there Margaret. Are you coming and going? Sorry I was a bit I got a bit distant from it. Did you hear it all then? Your mother used to be very pleasant when they were alive but once they were dead she's like wow I never liked her. You know somebody dies suddenly and expectedly and it's almost like well I you know I don't really care. I never liked it. It was such a strange thing to say. Well I wonder if part of it was coping with the death of somebody that she knew that she would distance themselves from that person. So as to sort of protect herself from the emotion that would come with losing somebody close to you. But you see what you don't know is that she was a nurse who nursed on

1:50:13the beaches at Normandy. Right. So I doubt that she'd have that sort of a defense mechanism needed because she was pretty brave woman. It was just such a strange thing to say. Mind you she wouldn't say it about somebody we knew she liked. I mean she obviously had secretly hated these people. Right. But it just just made me love. But I have to say other things today. I mean tonight's programme has been really funny. Thanks. You put up and as far as farage in that madlock go I love hearing you say that they'll never get in. It cheers the cockles of my heart. Watch you know wealth well. Clack and the thing about clack to an old being a bit sick. Do you think they're all going to come on and tell you off? Well not so far but you know there's still time. Yeah yeah we need to tell them really because I think I think a funny between them and it was terrible though today because they they're sort of ejection of the people who were demonstrating was pretty awful

1:51:16and what's so funny about it though is people just defending them and it was like there's a multi-pison sketch years ago about sort of food London these days. So you know yeah well he was yeah he did nail my head to a coffee table one. That's right. That's right. Anyway I don't think I'll get anything else but I need to get to bed but it's just a great programme. Excellent work. Thanks a lot Margaret. Cheers. Cheers. This is Nick I don't want to be ages but I saw clips of the Tetshi Fagash fan club conference in the front area of the audience of clapping seals. It looked like a care home dining room. All of them acting like they were at a who concert enthusiastically clapping away. Should I be worried that as I get older I will become that stupid asking for a friend says Martin and Cardiff and this is evening Nick what's Sue Gray doing these days? Sue Gray a civil servant

1:52:25of the highest integrity and of the greatest reputation. Sue Gray a brilliant civil servant everyone knows that she is a person of great integrity. Yeah right up until she said something that they didn't like and then she was the worst person that they'd ever met their entire lives. What a bunch of phone is but there's more it says what's Sue Gray doing these days? Bet you she shows up in the reform parties is Dan and I I will take that bet Dan I don't know very much about other than what I've heard. Sue Gray a civil servant of the highest integrity and of the great highest integrity. Oh oh oh oh don't you know Sue Gray. No I can't see that not that I know very much about it other than what I've heard. Sue Gray a civil servant of the highest integrity and of the let's have Ealing oh Paul I'm going to go for a break and then come back all right.

1:53:26It's you you on next. Your passion for tonight I might do nothing. Ealing Paul. It just occurred to me when you made that noise then. Yeah Brian Sue and Jacob Rees Morgue are linguistically cut from the same cloth. Yeah peace in A pod. Yeah. Peace in a pod. I'm going to start hopefully with something that I know that you won't like but it's a compliment and unfortunately you're going to sit there and you're going to like it. I like the way in fact the love the way and I think everybody does who is a fan of your show that you you flip between even the even the Sunday shows which I know you know I'm a little bit more serious in the bank holiday Monday shows where we get you for four days this week which is nice. It's exhausting. I bet I bet. You'll take a weller and dress next week. Yeah but look the great thing about

1:54:28the show is obviously how funny it is but the paystarts as well. I mean I've been in hysterics with my wife in the car in a long car journey coming back to London from Yorville listening to you and we've been in hysterics one minute and then my wife is openly weeping after somebody had written to you saying that they used to ring their mother in a care home to remind her that you are on. Yeah. I mean it's and as a you know as a well-read person who is around the news I won't call you a journalist I'll stop short of that. No. But I remember when when the terrorism thing happened oh it was on a Saturday night on London Bridge it was Westpitz originally. Yeah. And you sort of dropped everything and dropped the act and you just did fantastic semi-journalism if you like and it's really big of ending you're a real a real pleasure for the radio and we'd love for you to do that. Well, you're like that compliment and don't take them so. That was excruciating Paul but thanks. Yeah you're welcome you're welcome everybody else just think it is so onto the most important thing that I'm in my early 40s now but the what you said earlier on

1:55:34really hit the nail on the head regards to Brian Sewell that they used to be people on the TV and on your radio who used to educate you and do it in a sort of you know interesting way in in in you barely felt like you were learning but it was kind of it was really informative right and one such example is Brian Sewell. Now as 16 year olds at school we found Brian Sewell's voice hilarious so we would just talk like Brian Sewell for a lot of time and 20 odd years ago he did a program about the Medici about the Medici the last the last sort of royals if you like in Italy yeah at the end of the roll roll of hell and Brian Sewell did a show called the last of the Medici and basically the the royals ended because the last guy in in the in the lineage if you like was and and to describe it in the way that Brian Sewell did in his documentary he was so

1:56:34homosexual that he was unprepared to sire and air he was he the idea of being with a woman and and having and keeping the line going just was no interest so he basically lived in in a language sorted method for the last few years of his life yeah and this is one thing that we used to quote was 16 year olds it was how boys from eaten an Oxford who were obviously underage would come over to look at the Medici and they would be scowfully clad and he'd talk about you know like you were saying in the statue he took about their buttocks and things like that and there was a moment in this documentary and I encourage you to look it up on YouTube because it's absolutely fantastic where he talks about how the king who was too gay to sire and air would wake up in the morning and there would be a donkey coming through his hallway and and he says and I quote with his

1:57:36languid hand John Gaston grabbed a peach from the punnet on the top of the donkey and with juices rippling down his chin he would make breakfast of it I mean what a way to describe eating a peach yeah just out there are no characters like that anymore I really on no yeah it was so so so interesting it's like everybody on TV has been stamped out of plastic around the back and and they're all the blum in same and they've all had the personality rinsed out of them and and I just can't get over the TV these days is just so stupid even the intelligent channel is is almost 24 hours a day stupid now BBC 2 used to be the channel that I hated as a child because it was exactly what we're talking about but people in close up of their face just going on about a topic for an hour or you know the blum in opera or something like that but these days

1:58:39it's exactly like daytime television from ITV it's game shows and I don't even know what's on on on their any more but it's like the IQs have dropped dramatically in the interview period it's like all of a certain echelon of our political class come through eaten and it's like all of the echelon of our broadcasting class come through I don't know whether it's T4 or something or the Brit school or they all come like you say cookie-catchers they're all exactly the same they've got the same haircuts they've got the same presenting style they all go to I don't know presenting school or something it's so incredibly naff there's nobody with any personality anymore I just think that it's people in TV who commission programs they're just terrified of getting it wrong which is partly why you just see the same old faces doing the multiple shows over and over and over again because they think that if they put an unknown on there then if the program fails it's the

1:59:42executives fault if they put a star on there like Anton deck for instance then if the program fails well you know I did my best as an executive what more can I do than higher Anton deck it's their fault well absolutely there was Anton deck and also you know no scroll hurled although we don't talk a bit him too much anymore and holly willaby it seemed like at one point if if there was a show on ITV I don't know because they're on the payroll and they need to get their money's worth out of I think yeah but if there was one if there was a show on ITV it was presented by either Anton deck nor real or or holly willaby and it was just intolerable yeah one one last thing before I go and finally and finally so Brian Sewell the last of them a Dici it taught us a 16 year old about the dying line of royals in ancient Rome as if we needed to know about that and the second thing is despite the fact that that guy had the longest rambling story about a snooker player I've ever heard

2:00:45he was writing that's what I need your scientific for him all my sense in the cry out but he had a point with father Ted just give it one goal it's all up on 4o d just watch one episode you don't like it you have to carry on but I think you'd really find it funny it's all right all right I'll stick it on my list excellent work thanks a lot Paul o345 6060 973 to back that up Alison says that episode of father Ted is one of the most incredible comedy episodes ever the roundabout up there with the chandelier in only falls and horses well I've only seen two clips of only falls and horses never a whole show and the chandelier is one which was laugh out loud funny and the one where he falls through the bar which is also very funny I mean both of them are you know site gags there that's it's like knock about physical comedy the rest of it I don't know you know it always looked a bit depressing to me there always look so desperately failing I mean that that's part of British comedy isn't it like Americans

2:01:49love comedy about good looking people having a happy time and they've got money and you know like friends all those people saying in those apartments that must cost them to have the must cost millions of pounds I mean they're on Manhattan for a start is it on Manhattan or in Manhattan is Manhattan big enough as an island for you to say in or on I don't know um but in this country it's all it's people like just desperately getting by you know having a miserable tight steptoe and son God when was that ever funny um you could say this in about dad's army really a bunch of misfits not up to the job in fact maybe that is British comedy in a nutshell faulty towers a bunch of misfits not up to the job and maybe faulty towers is the is the one that proves the rule because that is properly funny for my money the funniest thing that's ever been on TV in fact John Cleese just for the amount

2:02:55of laughs that he has given this country and by extension the world he must be the funniest thing that we have ever produced in this country thanks a lot John thanks for the laughs appreciated and and there's another one I mean he says things politically that people object to and they say right that's it I'm never watching a multi-pifan or faulty towers again which is the wrong attitude remove the art from the artist otherwise you'll never be able to enjoy anything um this says most supermarket orders placed directly with the supermarket are picked in warehouses or dark stores with conveyor belts and QR codes and even robotic arms rather than by flustered shop staff rushing around your local supermarket with a trolley I did not know that well I've definitely seen flustered shop staff rushing around the supermarket with a trolley at a list in their hands so I guess it's both orders placed through delivery platforms are often

2:04:00picked by supermarket staff who check substitutions as they go so it's a bit of both depends is the is the answer to that question which I don't believe anybody asked not on this show anyway let's have um let's see what food Simon oh happy sunday Nick happy sunda yeah sunday sunday yeah that's the one yeah can I just first ask for a request yeah well it's not a request show but what would you like us to play well I just wanted to say happy birthday to my friend Andy could I get a happy birthday you absolutely can he gets the long version because you asked so nicely you are in a generous mood aren't I yeah well thank you for that um I heard you for

2:05:03while he was talking about the fact that um uh something about Simon cow but uh I did meet Simon cow once and I can confirm his trousers were up to his um armpits chest yeah he's not he literally up it was really weird because he obviously worked out quite well on his chest so he had quite a good pectoral but yet his trousers his belt was around them so it was kind of a bit weird and he wasn't that tall but in the same time he was he was um recording a advert for pop idol at the time do you remember pop idol yeah one of those uh no talent shows yeah yeah no yeah zero talent shows and it also had Pete watermelon who has he's discovered quite a few people right you you hate them all yeah I do hate them all all of them Kylie and I should be so lucky lucky lucky lucky I mean it's just absolutely excruciating the entire canon of stock aching and watermelon is uh is

2:06:06in a front to music lovers yeah whatever happened to her who oh well she's still um still doing that robotic act of hers isn't she yeah even more so now but I asked Pete watermelon for a photo and the worst experience of my life you asked him for a photo and he said what of well he was he was very kind about it but uh friend had a camera because this was before mobile phones right as my oh so I went to put my hand around the man to put it my hand on his shoulder make it look like that we were chum yeah but instead my hand went underneath not underneath his blazer that at that point underneath his undone shirt oh no and in one full swoop my hand went up his sweaty uh up to the shoulder and the photo was more of a grimace the smile wow if I were him I would have

2:07:16had security beat you to the ground I've I've never washed my hands in that was pretty terrible yeah awful yeah yeah uh I still got the photo right well keep it yourself back yes yes I just want to say that today uh I noticed in um in the supermarket mince pies were available no no it's coming way too quick this is absolutely ridiculous people this must stop yeah all right thanks for the bad news Simon but I do like a mince pie I mean they're so nice it seems a bit of a shame to only have them at Christmas doesn't it like hot cross buns you can get hot cross buns all year round now not just uh you know uh when uh Jesus dictated that we ate them and remember darling I don't work before ten in the morning and never before 30 in the afternoon never after 4 30 in the afternoon those are my strict rules uh this says I switched from google to

2:08:16duck duck go as a browser I switched from google maps to the original map quest also thinking of moving from Gmail to proton mail which is from Switzerland and is encrypted and they don't read your messages unlike google says d'Irendra who maybe thinks about this stuff a little bit too much what difference does it make that google knows where you are and where you go I mean if I sat down and thought about it for a while I would probably come up with uh no end of reasons why it's not a good idea to let them moon face creeps who run AI know anything about you but I think that ship has sailed and sunk they know everything about you if you've been using the internet over the past 10 years or so then everything has been stored there is nothing about you that they don't know in fact they know more about you than you know about you I'll prove it I mean I know I've done this before but where were you on March the 28th three years ago at three o'clock in the afternoon

2:09:17you've got no idea but your phone knows hack me hello Richard hello Nick if you've got nothing to hide you've got nothing to fear yeah so it doesn't matter if your phone knows where where you were three years ago yeah but what is uh is not necessary to hide is not fixed it moves depending on who happens to be in power at the time well this is why I think we should have cameras in every room of every house because I mean if we are all good citizens yeah then it doesn't matter anyway we do actually though I mean come to think of it we do have a camera in every room in the house because where you carry your phone you also carry at least two cameras I do love the um I read 1984 as a kid yeah what I didn't realize is that we would pay for the cameras that were going to be installed in our home yeah fake money that's right yeah I mean I thought they were going to be

2:10:22inflicted on us by the government but no we're gonna pay a thousand pounds a pop right yeah haven't anyway willingly we would bring them into our lives I wanted to say that since we last spoke um I have done nothing wrong and I have broken no rules well I don't know well you may say that but um I've done do diligence you don't want to do diligence it's it's harder to do that it is to say say yeah um I mean I have looked at the way that mailman is asking works and um I've done the do diligence and I've looked into every part and although we were at a pub and I wasn't listening I have decided that nothing wrong has happened nothing wrong has happened I'm glad to hear it um okay uh I want to talk about electric cars yes talking about getting a

2:11:28electrical I had an epiphany recently I'm sorry to hear that yeah I know it was it was awful I was down at A&E I said I'm having a piphany uh I think you're about let them the the doctor said you're taking the epiphany yeah they said there's some ointment for that yes um no it's like you know when you you intellectually understand something no well it's like you intellectually understand that if if I hit my thumb with a hammer yeah it will hurt right that's intellectual understanding but one day you actually hit your heart your thumb with a hammer and that is actual understanding now we were at a friend's house in one of the perfect countries and they had solar panels on the roof oh yeah now the solar panels came down and they fed into a big box right and then out of the

2:12:32bottom of the big box came a thicker cable which was plugged into their car oh and I actually I understood I properly understood for the first time they are driving their car for nothing yeah they're in tyre fuel just it comes down essentially free yeah it's essentially for and before you were says oh well it cost you five thousand pounds to put the solar panels up well you get that money back yeah eventually yeah yeah where's the ninety-twid you pay whatever station right it's the difference is that yeah it's the difference between buying a car and getting one on on the never-never if you if you lease a car then you're paying for it forever and you never actually own it you can't sell it it's you the money just drains out of your account and then

2:13:32when your four years is up or whatever it is then they're going to foist an even nicer car on you and your payments will go up not down everything now is becoming you can't own it you have to lease it right we don't buy music there's one music I don't buy music anymore I lease it houses you go buy you rent one rent one yeah education you don't have an education you rent an education and you you pay it off over the next 30 years that's right it's all I mean I think this is this is one of the reasons why I think that the fossil fuel industry is freaking out right now and they are getting their lobbyists you know some of whom are familiar to us as politicians in this country to start shrinking about net stupid zero and you know all the rest of it trying to maintain our addiction to fossil fuels because the alternative is too awful for them to contemplate it's exactly as you

2:14:36describe people will buy something that will harvest the power of the sun which cuts them out entirely it's and the people there they're wriling up to support them in America they call this it's when people with 60s support people with eight yachts that's right Donald Trump put it best when he said I love the poorly educated yeah they keep giving and giving but I can't go on it's you're at the end of your tether I understand I know I'll talk about Barry Manelline for a second because you have mentioned them right do you put the song Mandy Mandy of course great song yeah great song it was great song when I that first came out I miss her that as brandy and I thought this is obviously the so shown tune and it's like from one of the characters

2:15:42seems like a committed alcoholic and he's you know that like his put this is like the the X there's one chance in the spotlight and they're singing about you know like brandy brandy yeah when you kissed me and you stopped me from shaking and I need you today and for years I now that and now you say it it makes sense who's yeah I was so disappointed I mean well yeah just just add it to life's little disappointments richest with they keep coming at us and we'll continue to do so until we fall off life's conveyor belt so enjoy the ones that you can while you can thanks a lot mate oh three four five six oh six oh nine seven three have I done how many oh 15 pages of messages I there's just too many I'm not complaining

2:16:44of anything but there's just too many I can't read them all oh I should tell you that if you can't stay awake anymore then the Friday and Saturday night shows shows come out as podcasts now if you subscribe to Nick Abbott the whole show plus you get the Friday and Saturday shows as podcasts advert free plus an extra show on Monday where I go through many of the messages that I couldn't get through on Friday and Saturday of which like I said there's 15 pages I I am very bad at my job so I'll go through those plus the news stories that I couldn't get around to of which there are a lot I want to talk about cars and food do you like food well that'll be on the the new show that comes out on a Monday so you get the Friday and Saturday shows as podcasts advert free plus the extra show that comes out on a Monday for subscribers only plus a newsletter that I write on Friday that wipes up the the weeks news and launches us into the weekend the whole thing is called Nick Abbott

2:17:48the whole show plus I think you'll love it and it's available on global player and the new lbc app both which are free from your app store ask for Nick Abbott the whole show plus Alex and with him says so today the usual toothless suspects decided to protest against the boats cam in air by donning masks and disrupting ferries at dover firstly I thought these idiots hated masks that's right and second do they not know the difference between a small boat and a ferry yeah I saw that that was kind of alarming but but I think that that was the intention and I wonder how I don't know anything about it so I'm just going to ask questions how many of those people were known to the police do you think how many of those people are positive influences in their neighborhood

2:18:51how many of those people are nice to live next to and how many of those people have been in I mean because they you're ranting on about protecting our women approximately how many of those people have been in jail for beating up their girlfriends or wives just asking questions I don't know what the answer to that is I'm just wondering let's have a tiago Bristol oh hi Nick how's it going good thanks I well I had to call because you opened the show reading and that's it from Darren in Plymouth and he was going on about you know the possibility of our phones listening to us oh yeah and then he said that you know Facebook suggested me as a friend I find that very concerning all the fangs Facebook could try

2:19:53sell him you know he thought that he needs a bit of your Australian his life I'm not great investment on returns so I'm not too sure that you know a Facebook what I gender he has but I would imagine that it's trying to meet to try to get people who have a similar interest together because that that way we you'll spend more time on Facebook staring at the ads and I would imagine that as you call and he messaged that at some point you both mentioned my name on on Facebook and it said a half there's a connection so we'll just put you two together it's not it's not some sort of you know evil underhand plan anymore than everything else that they do is an evil underhand plan so I guess you know I'm not that you know they're special in the end of the day I just you know it kind of like it did rattle me a little bit I must say everybody is special in their own special way oh thanks Nick I appreciate you saying that anyway I've perhaps perhaps

2:21:02I might be banned from the show if I keep doing this but I decided to continue a bit on my audit you know given that I'm still trying to establish if I but McGiffin curves it's what we believe it to be oh yeah but to fill in the gaps I do a podcast with Carol McGiffin yeah and it is called what's your problem with Nick and Carol it's a problem solving podcast in which Carol McGiffin and I try to solve people's problems while laughing faces off if you have a problem Tiego then you must descend it to the following address Nick and Carol at global dot com n i c k a n d c a r o l at global dot com and prepare to be totally satisfied all right yeah I'll spread my name on an internet near you what's your problem with Nick and Carol I think you'll love it you shouldn't encourage me to to reach out you know you should know better than that but um yeah so I thought I would check you know the recent best this week and and try to figure out so um

2:22:05glorious pymon you know the feminist icon well we definitely didn't mention her you can't pin that on us well there's exactly that I was very surprised given what a strange feminist caro that she was never mentioned and also Richard a Sullivan yeah we never mentioned Richard a Sullivan either no exactly so um but I'm not saying that we kill all people who die I'm just saying that when we mention someone they do have a ten or we do have a tendency to kill them off within a week well I'm not trying to disprove it but I'm just always trying to you know find out whether whether by any chance we can you know establish what the rules I once we can understand they we can capitalize on it you know it's it's just you know the free market of curses well I think that we should start charging of massive amounts of money I mean maybe do it both ways charge people a lot of money to mention them in order to kill them and also charge people a lot of

2:23:07money to not mention certain individuals well you know I if you need an agent say you know where to find me you know it like in uh in like some clothes companies pay stars a lot of money to wear their clothes you know they give them free clothes and they give them you know bags of cash and all the rest of it but I would imagine that Levi's would give Jeremy Clarkson for instance a lot of the money not to worth no offense but it must really great on Levi's which would try to you know present themselves as this fast forward uh pavera for sexy jeans and the the most famous person is wearing them is Jeremy Blumming Clarkson well I'm actually thinking whether Sam and Kyle is seeing as a great opportunity to advertise them and all the opposite absolutely not definitely not well talking to Levi's actually brings me to another bit of the old that I've done so uh flak Eric and as keeps coming out Tom uh Tom uh from where was it Tom from don't ask me

2:24:13anyway I for a while I for a minute now he claimed that he was the first one to ever mention I I run the outlet it tracks don't don't for south sea definitely mention for I for the first time on the second of August which was the same baby our friend Jean from havering uh cold and delighted us with her thoughts on your shows oh jean yeah I'm my ears are still ringing I've never listened to you for god's sake yeah exactly jean now jean me from bars leave though he claimed on the end of the show on Saturday that he was the first one to uh say the yellows it bloke um and claim it to be his work uh and uh uh I'm sorry jean me uh he doesn't track that not not only that he said that he was under 25th of September and that was a third thing so I would have given him the benefit of that when run the outlet to be further but can I can I make a suggestion go ahead get a job I I do have one right don't tell them I'm liking as the

2:25:16Nick have old old it's uh I do a Nick I just uh just just I know though I am fair though I did run all the some things that I have claim on air and I had taken a lot pride on having I saw a lot of the person had introduced you to the Nick uh to the Trump's nickname uh Marlardo um I even had the date written down but it turns out it wasn't mean so pro for Manchester beat me to are a lardo well that one is definitely on the list and it will be in the book that comes out uh just around about Jesus birthday time there or there about when we do the hz at the end of the year all right excellent work thanks a lot Tiago stop looking up this show on the internet this says uh hey Nick I seem to be warming towards Vlad the Insana even his water hybrid and that has to be better for the world says he's yeah he's running a hybrid war the petrol engine takes over you know after about a hundred miles or so it's a range extender

2:26:18um ranger's oh yes ranger's oh yeah hello Tiago um I'll sit Tiago some homework a couple of weeks ago you know what he came up with the uh with the goods oh yeah yeah well like I said he he needs a hobby of or something he you know he's a good man he's okay Nick I want to ask you right you know when I was listening to gangs all going on Friday morning and he was telling you okay I was just thinking well well I was at work yeah he says like look at your bank balance and have a look if you're a billionaire or a millionaire okay you know he was going on about you know for all these millions yeah fans there be you reckon anything he actually went and had a look at his bank balance well I think you know if you're a millionaire you would yeah but you know

2:27:20somebody you know dumb and dumb man Roy and the polyadie guy he probably would have never looked at actually on the fraud has he put any money more than he had he reckon that happened actually come to think of it a prime minister claimed that he didn't know how much money his wife had do you remember this government that government that bloke his wife is wife got something shares in info system whatever it was and I think she made something like 15 million a year I may have that figure wrong but it was some staggeringly large amount and Fishing Soonac said oh I don't know anything about that I've got no idea about my wife's finances what kind of a man doesn't know anything about his wife's finances and vice versa yeah and the last couple of nights you're all been on about I'm gonna say very light hearty today I'm about suits and that and you know about being too long or too short well we should soon have he went to the long tailor because all

2:28:21these trousers were like half-hour pens were they yeah I don't know whether he did that to make his legs look longer like my legs are so long that I can't find trousers long enough but you ain't full of nobody fishy my son right he's a bit of a bodybuilder and he's quite like a strong lad right and I was just talking in a couple of years what's all these trousers are you and he went some and like 40 yeah what inches yeah yeah he says because he goes with my trousers because they're they won't take brand my size right I said okay so you're buying a bigger waist trousers so they can because he disc wats and everything you know weightlifting yeah and I said well you know and I happened to start talking about in the park and I had to ask him again and any concern do you get any good after buy 14 trousers right I said why how big is he keep him up

2:29:26he has to worry about although he's he's he's he's thought he's right like how how his trousers open in the rest part of it I don't know what he does he's probably just squeezes around him but you know going about faggash you know he's changing his image yeah you know he's buying more flashes yeah he's really noticeable he's presenting himself as well it he looks like he I tell you what he looks like he looks like that guy out of dad's army who was the who was you know the the duckling the diver the spirit who sold watches from out of his coat like an alpha daily type of kite exactly yeah yeah I think what what what the ninja fraud needs to do he speak to a dragon clock yeah the other people yeah the extra Liverpool manning yeah right now I

2:30:27have a look you know when you're in clock smiles yeah how bright was he's very very bright yeah just ridiculously bright teeth yeah huge teeth and it's like he had too many teeth in his mouth and too many teeth and they were breathing of white yeah and faggash is on the other end of the spectrum and you know if I got you but it's prime minister right if he does who's he going to come after you or James or well I would hope that he's never heard of me and that James O'Brien is going to get all the the rough treatment because and and I'm going to use James O'Brien as a as a shield I'm going to stand behind him and he can take all the flag and then are you at least which one do you reckon a faggash is going to go for is he going to be you Mike from I'm gonna use Mike I'm gonna use Mike from East Yorkshire as mine as you're a shield right and Jeff

2:31:29from where for dip tidrily because well yeah well the best of luck with that to range it I think but all of us are going to push you forward and you can take all of the flag all right coming your way incoming thanks a lot mate got to go thank you for all the messages of which there are 15 pages worth that I didn't manage to get around to it's just there's just too many but I'm going to go through them right now as I leave you and then I will put the ones that are worth it in the extra show that I do for subscribers to Nick Abbott the whole show plus which you can find on lbc's app and the global player app both of which are free from your app store Nick Abbott the whole show plus