Never Doubt the Process – Stick to the Plan

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1:27You do it anyways. That's how you win the game of life. With the mentality of I do it anyways. There's a choice that we have to make as people as individuals. If you want to be great at something as a choice that you have to make, we all can be masters at our crown. And you have to make a choice. What I mean by that is, we're inherent sacrifices that come along with that. Family time, hanging out with your friends, being a great friend, being a great son, nephew, whatever it takes me to be. They're sacrifices that come along with making a decision. Your worst chapter is not your last chapter. What if what I've gone through is exactly what somebody else is going through. And if I can help somebody else build a bridge, then why not give it a shot? And I think for me, someone once said to me to my face,

2:28the moment you can take the hardest thing in your life and take more from it that it took from you, your life will change forever. You know what the definition of craziest? The definition of crazy is being able to see and do things that nobody else could see. That's all crazy is. If you haven't been called crazy, you've done nothing in your life. If you haven't been called off, if you haven't been called insane, people always add in there and people go, man, what's wrong with Grober? You know what my answer is every day? I'm not afraid to be off. I'm not afraid to speak my mind. Just take action. Keep doing it. Keep doing what you're doing. Keep moving forward. And actually, cushy the edges showed me that coming back to the center is a blessing. Appreciating the mundanity, the small moments. I'm at the point of my life right now where I'm just locking in. I can't keep worrying about distractions and things that ain't serving my purpose. Because everything I do now depends on how my future lives.

3:31So I'm locked in and I'm focused. The biggest business you won't have to manage is your life. You know what I'm saying? Outside all your other businesses. You're the business of your life has to be managed first, you know what I'm saying? The tragedy of life doesn't lie and not reaching your goal. The tragedy of life lies in having no goal to reach. It isn't a calamity to die with dreams unfulfilled, but it is a calamity not to dream. It is not a disgrace not to reach the stars, but it is a disgrace to have no stars to reach for. There's fucking excuses and everything can excuse that you tell yourself, every lie that you tell yourself, every little story you tell yourself about not being able to do what it is you want to do because of whatever it is.

4:33That's just you, that's just you telling yourself another thing that will keep you where you are for a longer period of time and where you are is somewhere that we don't want to be. Fear of failure. Fear of failure can keep you from taking risk. It can leave you sitting there paralyzed and to not taking action. But I want you to overcome fear of failure. I want you to be afraid of failure. Fear of failure is good. Fear of failure will keep you up at night planning, rehearsing. But in order to become that somebody you've got to discover, what is it that my body loves though? What is it that my mind can't keep off of it? What is it that keeps me up at night?

5:34What is it that stirs me up when I see it? What gives me emotionally involved, engaged and connected? Fear of failure will keep you training hard. Fear of failure will stop you from cutting corners. Fear of failure will keep you working, thinking, striving and relentlessly trying to be more prepared for battle. So I want you to be afraid of failing. Because you found your calling. And calling is the exact word you want to use because your passion and your purpose have been calling you before you were born. If you wake up in the morning, you start having negative thoughts. Man, this ain't my day. I walk up on roads out of bed. I just don't feel myself.

6:36In the middle of the day, if you feel yourself doing that, just stop for a second. And start going over in your mind everything you have to be grateful for. Everything you already have. Because what you have is substantial. You just haven't gone over the list and take an inventory in a long time. There is no secret. There is no quick fix. There is no hack. There is no hack of least resistance. The quickest way for you to go from where you are to where you want to be is that you're trying to avoid doing it. I'll tell you right now, you might not be in control of what the world gives you, but you're always in control of what you accept. This life is not an external battle, my people. This life is an internal war. Your greatest battle is here. So my question I want to ask you right now is really things that are in your control that you can change right now. You can't control and change the internal dialogue that you're having within yourself.

7:42I want you to be horrified, terrified of sitting on the sidelines and doing nothing. That is what I want you to be afraid of waking up in six days or six weeks or six years or six years and being no closer to your goal. You've made no progress. That is the horror. That is the nightmare. That is what you really need to be afraid of being stagnant. So get up and go. Take the risk. Take the gamble. Take the first step. Take action. And don't let another day.

8:42Slip by. The very thing you're pursuing in your life is very simple. It is fulfillment. That's it. Now I sum up fulfillment very simply. How do you feel about yourself when you're by yourself? You feel good. Do you feel like you're making the most of your life? Are you tapping into a degree's call technique? So you really have to work hard for a set of skills that matter to you. Now the skills have to matter. That's a key part of the equation. Once the skills matter to you and they allow you to serve not only yourself but other people and then you actually go and serve those people.

9:47But I want to make sure that everybody understands the game that you're playing is a game of neurochemistry. A fool never learns. A smart man learns mistakes. A wise man learns from the mistakes of others. The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord. Before you even know what you're supposed to do, your steps are already lined up. But you've got to get it locked. You've got to go after it. You've got to want to be able to not just show up. It's got to be something that you pursue and that it means the world seeking. It's got to be something that if it were for free I would still do. But because when you go after the thing that you're called to do, your calling will take share of you. Money and things that you will worry about, you don't have to concern yourself with that. It will make a way, but only when you make that way towards your passion.

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12:07Each of us must turn inward and destroy in himself all that he thinks he ought to destroy in others. Each of us must turn inward and destroy in himself all that he thinks he ought to destroy in others. See we want to grow but we want to stay light by everybody. I was willing to be my own rescue at the risk of your approval. It's most of us aren't like that. We want to be light. Well I woke up and I like myself today so your like is extra. My job is to like me first. And you're chasing a dream, when you're sacrificing, when you're going for things, and how do you get to a space in place? It says not failure but low aim is sin, right? It's all right to fail and seek of those dream goals and aspirations. But when you be careful that you're reaching for the stars, that everybody you love and get burned about to eat, that's a totally different end, right? When you're reaching for, how can we look at it self-assess and look at it as such a way to wear?

13:10All right I got my goals, my dreams, and my aspirations. But what is this going to affect? When I wake up in the morning I don't think am I motivated to go do what I'm supposed to do. No, I don't think about it for one millisecond. When your alarm clock goes off, I have no thought about whether this is easy, whether this is hard, whether I want to do it, whether I don't want to do it, none of that matters. It's an emotionless, thoughtless discipline. When the alarm clock goes off, you get up, you get out of bed and you go do what you're supposed to do. I don't care how it feels. I don't care if it's easy or hard. It doesn't even matter to me. It's just a reaction, it's a discipline, and it's a life. And that's the way I choose to live my life. You're going to go to a new level and every time you get to a new level, you're going to face a new devil. But when they come at you, there is something different about you now. You see all those stones that they threw at you when you were young and immature when you were

14:10insecure and didn't know what you were about to become. Those bricks that they've thrown, I need you to realize that was a foundation for you to build the platform for them to be able to see you at your next level of elevation, wherever it is that you are going. They couldn't have gotten you there any better, but by withdrawing those bricks at you, they gave you the material that was necessary to be more, so you can do more. You know, a lot of us, you know, we stuck, you know, we stuck in the season, we stuck in grief, you know what I mean? We stuck in pain, we stuck in just average, you know what I mean? We just stuck in the day to day, and there's some things that we need to move on to.

15:15Let me say this, it's hard to move on when you have programmed yourself to focus on what you don't have, y'all. You need to continue to dream of your future. Price God, continue to dream with your future. Let's stay in the present and work on it. Some of y'all, your problem is you dream too much, you dream too much, you ain't doing no work. But God told me very closely, wake up in the morning and dream of the Nobel Prize, but get up and make the baby. When you think about where you are, where you're going, and what it is you're trying to accomplish, there's only two ways you can be. You can be the person who learns a little bit, who does a little bit, and it here decides that this thing really isn't for them, and moves on to something else

16:18and repeats that cycle over and over and over again, or you can be the person who's committing. You can be the person who says this is going to fucking work no matter what happens. You can't read somebody else's book about some theory on how to do some guy who set up in their nice warm office and wrote some book with a nice cup of coffee in the, and I know, I want to see that guy who immersed himself in hell, and he thought about quitting and leaving and in his wife and his kids and why am I here? Is it worth it? All this crazy shit? If found out a way to get through it, we have pain, we have suffering, we react, we react about, get the out of here. It's those people who are able to control that feeling of flight and say, no, I'm a f***er. There's a way through this. It's just going to end, it's going to end, but we don't know that. We don't think that at that time these go last forever. So what keeps me going? I quit several things. I know what's on the fact in if we can quit.

17:20It's a lifetime of thinking, not one of the things that I do that. And I'm doing it on them. Question yourself. Question yourself every day. Ask yourself, who am I? What have I learned? What have I created? What forward progress have I made? Who have I helped? What am I doing to improve myself today to get better, faster, stronger, healthier, smarter? Is this what I want to be? Is this all I've got? Is this everything I can give? Is this going to be my life? Do I accept that?

18:26And realize that all of us, all of us, can do better. We can be better. And it starts when you begin to ask those questions. So ask the hard questions of yourself and find the path to progress and discipline and to have freedom inside the answers. I am no longer going to be watching any football and I'm no longer going to have Netflix at all. And that is what I'm giving up for seven, eight, nine, ten. That's what I'm sacrificing. And I think a lot of people create these to-do lists when in my experience it's been so much more useful to write down all the things that I'm willing to sacrifice. Because if you sacrifice everything, there's nothing left than to do the one thing that matters.

19:27Most of everyone who's listening to this who isn't achieving what they want is with their time. They think that they're spending all their time working but you don't even know how to work. I mean, really go with you. Like, you think you know how to work. You don't know how to work. And I'll measure this by like, what is your output? It's probably not as high as you think. And so, rather than trying to learn on these productivity hacks, the ultimate productivity hack is no. And no. Where would you be if you observed and judged your own behavior the exact same way that you observe and judge other people's behavior? They watch people do things and they're like, why do they act that way? Why do they make those decisions? Do you ever stop to ask yourself those questions? What if you gave yourself the criticism that you so easily dish out to other people? You got no problem being the armchair quarterback of everyone else's day to day lives, but you don't stop to look yourself in the mirror. If you question your own behavior, your own thoughts, your own decisions, just like you do everyone else, I guarantee you're going to find a lot of problems that you're going to want to solve. Problems that if you solved them,

20:28you could change your whole life and you're never going to figure any of that out if your eyes are on everyone else. You're going to spend your whole life focusing on problems that you can't solve. At a point, you just have to start doing it for a love of the game. I've said this many times before, living a life of fulfillment and purpose is war and to be more specific, spiritual war. But also, it doesn't mean it has to be this dreadful thing. Like yeah, it can certainly be treacherous. There's no doubting that, but there's also kind of a beauty there, something like a dance or a hauntingly beautiful poem. So like yeah, it can be hard sometimes, but now such a statement seems so shallow. If you're listening to me right now and you can hear these words and you're somebody that struggles with self-doubt or imposter syndrome, I'm going to tell you something. The research about confidence is very clear that confidence isn't a feeling. You don't feel confident. Confidence, the definition I want you to really embrace and live by, is the willingness

21:30to try. Because every time you try, especially in the face of doubt, you are displaying that you believe in your ability to survive whatever happens next. And so it's in the trying that you show yourself that you are capable of trying something and failing. And what makes you feel full of doubt and imposter syndrome is that you sit in your head and tell yourself you can't and every day that you wake. Sear has all the best active and outdoor brands you need. From athletic stuff, like a full-court pickup game, swish to athletic-ish stuff. Like a half-mile stroll. Get those steps in. And for morning hikes up the mountain trail, good pace. Tonight time ghost stories from the camping chair. What a twist. Whatever level of active, Sear loves it all. Head to searor or seara.com for the brands you want at the prices that let you do it all. From athletic to athletic-ish, Sear has got it.

22:30Stop. And you don't do the thing whether it's going to the gym or asking that person out. Stop doing that. Stop. And the second that you take action in a different direction, you start to see yourself differently. Insert emotion. I'm nervous. I'm excited. I'm whatever I was. Like, you know, if you weren't, I'd be worried about you. Because this is a serious commitment. It's the fact that you're nervous or the fact that you're afraid makes you just like everyone else who succeeds. But you know what? You're having common with a lot of people that absolutely change their lives. They say the same thing. Do you associate this negative feeling with being the successful person they want to be? That's not an easy task because we're all trying to be something but we already are that something we're trying to be. That doesn't mean you can't be better, but it's like accepting and appreciating what you really are and instead of projecting, you know, something else takes a lot of pain if your body gets a lot of fears to just disappear. And I don't have an easy path for that. I think it's the hero's journey. You know, what is it? Your life is ordinary and everything seems fine and then something hits you and it's the call to adventure. It doesn't feel

23:35like a call. It feels like some of your families got cancer. It feels like, you know, COVID and something shut down your business, you know, or you know, something issue that's happening in a relationship with your kids. But if you take the call and you go on the journey, you're going to meet some new friends. You're going to find some new mentors. You're going to, you know, you're going to battle with the internal things within you and external things. But if you keep going, you're going to eventually slay your dragons and you come out in the hero of your own life and you have something to share. It's not something you read somewhere. It's something you've lived. It makes life really, really beautiful. Becoming closer to your vision, becoming the person that you strive to be, is not the man perfection, but rather the persistent and pure desire for better and for good. It's easy for us to get hyper fixated on not making a mistake or not making a wrong term. And we start to overanalyze and paralyze ourselves with fear or doubt. It makes us hesitant in the way

24:38we pursue action. And hesitancy is not good. You know, these mistakes, these failures, these wrong turns ultimately do not matter. The only thing that is demanded of you in order to make the changes that you want to make is the pure and persistent desire to be better and to be good in this paired with time. Anything can be. You see this? An hourglass. It's a perfect reminder of how time flows. The sand at the top. That's the future. Completely out of your control. Sand at the bottom. That's the past. Already gone. But this, the flow in the middle, that's the present and that is where life happens. You can't spear up. You can't slow it down. All you can do is focus on this moment. One of the things that I'd like to teach people when there's a problem. And we all have problems. Not all of us can deal with the world and war, but we can deal with our own problems. When a problem comes up, one of the best things to say is

25:38always well, everything is working out for my highest good. And out of this situation, this so-called problem, only good will come and I am safe. You know, this is something that's very powerful. Always where everything is working out for my highest good. Out of this experience, only good will come and I am safe. And what that does, it quiets your mind down. You cannot grow. You cannot mature. You cannot get better. You can't become anything of value to yourself or to anyone else if you shut the door to regrets. Now, you don't let regrets drag it down. You don't let them destroy you. All right, I've talked about this before. You don't let the man that you used to be destroy the man that you are today or the man that you're trying to be today. All right, but balanced regret is what helps you become a better man. Unbalanced guilt

26:46is what destroys you. Unbalanced guilt of who you were and what you were in the past or today destroys you. Balance, open-eyed, thoughtful, regret of core decisions you made in the past. It's what helps you build and become better and become stronger. That is that chet valve that helps you not make that decision again. Make a promise and keep it every single day of your life and you will no longer be afraid of yourself. The fear only comes from uncertainty and if you don't know what to expect from you, that's what gets you in trouble. If you're a thoughtful person with strong intention, it probably feels like everyone is against you, so you better get on your own team so you don't feel alone. When you're on your own team, keeping the promises, you will sacrifice a lot,

27:46but I will tell you from experience that the sacrifice is worth every single moment. Once you realize you don't have to bear the emptiness that consumes all too much of this world. What kind of permission do you need? To do the thing that you and I both know you really want to do, the thing that not everyone is going to approve of, but you know you're meant to do, what kind of permission do you need to get up and get after it? Yes, there's some risk, mostly just a bruised ego, but you know what's a hell of a lot worse than that? Living with the regret of inaction. Knowing the thing that you need to do, the scary steps that you have to take to grow into the person that you know you want to be and doing nothing. So if you need it, this is your permission slip. Go do what you need to do. This is life is not linear, it's cyclical. Accepting this allows us to flow with the process instead of resisting it, like we just said. Understand that life is cyclical. You are going to move

28:46in cycles as an individual, right? So don't get so emotionally attached to the seasons where everything feels good that you think that that's how your whole life should be forever because the moment it isn't that you're going to feel like everything's hit in the fan. Something's wrong, you're doing something wrong, you're going to internalize that and identify with that. Just because you don't feel good doesn't mean you're doing something wrong. Just because things are difficult does not mean you're going the wrong direction. No, it's a part of moving in the right direction and you have to be willing to embrace those times. Understanding they're serving a greater purpose. You have to remind yourself of this. Understand it is serving a greater purpose. This is part of the journey and it will not last forever. And so many people they need to have a 5K, a 10K. I need to have a course in front of me. I need to have something in front of me from getting my ass up and do some shit. And that used to be me. And nowadays, you know, past 20-something years, I don't need a purpose.

29:51And people who missed out on this man, the purpose, we're all looking for this golden purpose. Is it this? Is it that? Is it making money? Is it my family? The purpose is you. It's worrying thing. It's the one part of my life that if I could go back, I would fix. Even the things I've worried about in my life, when they actually happened, they weren't as bad in my body and in my mind as they were when I was worrying about them. And when you worry about it, you experience it hundreds of times. Your mind doesn't know the difference between this thing you think is going to happen and something that really happens. And so the turmoil you're putting your body through and the debilitating effect it's having on your current circumstances, I actually believe that this is one of the most debilitating things you can do for your physical health, not just your mental health. And what it happens, interrupt the pattern, don't change your physiology, do something to change your state. It's taking everything from your life, seeking your joy, your passion, your peace, your energy, your focus, your determination, your resourcefulness. So please stop. And I'm

30:53talking to me as much as I'm talking to you. Give yourself a gift of controlling that imagination. There's that beautiful mind of yours. Sometimes it's not about the things you need to do that make us successful. It's the things we need to stop doing that hold us back. But I'll tell you right now, those weak heavens, they got to break. Your mind said has to be reshaped. You have to believe the odds are beatable, even when people say it's impossible. That's what I call fate. And I'm going to tell you right now, that's what's going to take it. 24, 7, 365, you've got to live it. Breathe it. Be it every single day. You've got a conquering challenge that gets in the way and remember, it's warm on what you do and less about what you say. So if your life couldn't say one word, what would your life speak? Would it still say you about that life? Would it still say you about conquering your struggle, crave new peaks? Would it still say you about getting the most out of your life? Every moment matters, especially when you realize over 150,000 people die every night.

32:00That's 55 million people a year. Ain't none of this promise. Ain't none of this guaranteed. So the question I'll leave you with is this, will you fight your last fight? Will you breathe your last breath? If this was your last year, what's the legacy that you're going to leave? Get up and go live your dreams. Make the world respect your greatest. Make this year your year. It all starts with you. How do you know a dream is worth chasing? I actually would like to flip that because I think a lot of people are waiting for a sign to know that a dream is worth chasing before they start doing it and I think it actually