
comedyDec 8, 20251:07:19pending
My Soul Will Always Be Fat | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
About this episode
SPONSORS:
- Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options at https://bluechew.com
- If you’re 21 or older, get 25% OFF your first order + free shipping @IndaCloud with code BEARS at https://inda.shop/BEARS! #indacloudpod
- For a limited time Hollow Socks is having a Buy 2, Get 2 Free Sale. Head to https://hollowsocks.com/ today to check out their huge sale. #HollowSockspod
- Get 15% OFF your entire order with code BEARS at https://Manscaped.com.
- Anyway, if you want to try Rho Nutrition’s NAD+, the Glutathione, whatever, they’re giving 20% off with the code BEARS at https://rhonutrition.com/discount/BEARS
This week, Bert’s wasting away, Tom’s tucking in his shirts, and the Bears are going into hibernation for the winter. Before that good news, Bert breaks down losing 25 lbs in a month, projectile-vomiting in airport bathrooms, and Tom producing Olympic-level protein farts. Tom also talks his new pastry empire and defends his son’s obsession with suits and hair product; along the way they dive into Bert’s DEXA scan nightmare, and some chaotic CMA stories including a Steve Martin panic-meeting and Billy Bob Thornton being a king. They also discuss robe culture, aging out of podcasting, comedian fashion, the future of 2 Bears with guest hosts, tours and the 2 Bears 5K, plus they announce the return of the Summer Bears next week. Enjoy!
2 Bears, 1 Cave Ep. 318
https://tomsegura.com/tour
https://www.bertbertbert.com/tour
https://store.ymhstudios.com
Chapters
00:00:00 - Intro
00:01:02 - OzemBert & Gassy Tim
00:09:17 - Fat Boy Dreams
00:19:35 - Dressing Like An Adult Is Hard
00:28:44 - Country Music Awards Chaos
00:39:57 - Robe Guys & Big Joe Pesci Energy
00:46:22 - Crisis Of Appearance
00:52:03 - Quentin Tarantino
00:55:46 - The Winter Bears, 2025 Look Back, & 2 Bears 5k
01:06:14 - Wrap Up
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Get every episode summarized
Each time 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer publishes, we email you a written briefing from the transcript — the topics, who appeared, and any specific claims, with the ad reads skipped.
Email me new episodesFree for 3 shows. No card needed.
Hosts & guests
No transcript yet
This episode has not been transcribed. Request it and it moves to the front of the queue.
More episodes
More from 2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer

Jelly Roll Called The President A Fat Pig | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Sep 7, 20261:14:10completed

Breaking Down The Barstool Brawl | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Aug 31, 20261:46:23completed

Stavvy Called Us Out | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Aug 24, 20261:25:41pending

Tom & Bert's Brutally Honest Odyssey Review | 2 Bears, 1 Cave
2 Bears, 1 Cave with Tom Segura & Bert Kreischer
Aug 10, 20261:01:56pending