My Marriage is at a Crossroads

0:00Thanks for listening to my call of the day brought to you by my sponsor, Native Hydra. It helps replenish key electrolytes and support muscle recovery, strength and overall wellness. Visit nativehydra.com slash Dr. Laura. Remember, you can hear my radio program daily on Sirius XM Triumph and Connect with me 24-7 at Dr. Laura.com. Sabah, welcome to the program. Hi Dr. Laura. Hi. How can I help? I am 51 and I have been married for 21 years and been with this man for 35 years. So most of my life I have been with him and I have two teen ages. So a year and a half ago my husband showed some change to behavior and kept telling me that we will be partners.

1:00My love has died for you. So this kept going on for three months because I have been with him for my entire life. I was like devastated by the size of what are you saying? How is that possible and what am I doing here because I am from another country in US. I don't have any relatives. I came here because he wanted to pursue his career here. So I was like devastated but then three months into this chain to behavior I came to know that he is with someone who is 27 years younger than him and this girl he found on he went on a sugar dating website and that's what this all started. And then he became so serious about her and he fizzies and extreme love with her and they will be married and all sorts of things. And you can imagine I am just shattered, completely shattered.

2:05I don't think my life is worth it. Just do the kids know about what is going on with him. So this is what happened one day I was you know when initially I came to know I was like you cannot do this. We have kids and my booth kids have special needs. One has high functioning autism and other has ADHD and eating disorder. So I just kind of threatened him lightly that if you keep doing this I am going to tell the kids and I went to work. When I came back home he had himself told his kid that he has a girlfriend and he doesn't love me anymore. And how can I help you today? So now he was with this girl and it has been four months they broke up. Actually they broke up multiple times during this time but the last final break up was like four months ago. And he was initially telling me he will try to fix things slowly but on his own terms.

3:14But he still had like moved out of the house rented an apartment in January. So now he either stays there comes home. So my question is now he hasn't shown the regret and remorse I want to see. He is still saying that he is healing with this strong love he had for this girl and the father she was talking about. Shaba. Shaba. Yes. Yes I'm listening. Get an attorney to protect you and the kids financially. But how can that be without a divorce? The attorney will explain it to you. It's called a legal separation. But that's not something that you need to say. I'm only asking you to protect yourself and the children financially.

4:16The rest of it is not in your control. Can this marriage be saved or is it very stupid of me to even think about it? It can only be saved when there are two people earnestly working on saving it. You don't have that. I don't have that. No. So get an attorney and get into place protecting yourself and the kids, your home assets. Got to protect yourself now. Can't act like a weak woman who is waiting to see what's going to happen. You can't do that now because you have two special needs kids. My problem is I've heard the legal separation if we do that. It's not a thing in mathematics. There is nothing like legal separation here. That's what I know. Well then talk to your attorney in your state. What's the smartest thing for you to do?

5:20I am not mentally and financially ready for divorce. That's my other fault. Sabah, Sabah, pick up your big girl panties and get ready for a fight. Don't tell me you're not up for it. You don't have any choice right now. I am alone in this country, really alone. Yeah, I know. Well, I heard that. I got that. You still have no choice. My alone and scared is not a good reason to not take care of yourself and the kids. But you think it is just BS that he says he will try to fix things slowly when he's here. Okay. While that's going on, you need to protect yourself and the kids. And I wish you well with that. My number 1-800-375-2872.

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