Money Grab (#550)

0:00All right, in five, four, three, two. I wanna feel too. I wanna feel too. I wanna feel too. I wanna feel too. I wanna feel too. I wanna feel too. I wanna. I wanna. I wanna. I wanna feel too. Hey, welcome to the Water filter, baby. Thank you so much for tuning in. You know how it goes. All right, Chris Locke's a mon to kick it with my Corolla digital former besties. Well, still besties, but former employees. You know, I messed that up because I was so pumped with that intro, Kaelin. Sorry. Got me going. Yeah, I accept this time. Thank you. I appreciate it. But yeah, you know how it goes. We kick it, Philly style with me today. All the way in Austin, Texas. We got Matt Fondalear. Hey, sister. Oh, opposite day. I love it. Well, different, you know? And then in Noho, California, Mr. Mike Dawson. Mr. Mike Dawson. Chris, did anyone ever tell you you sound like menace?

1:01People tell me that all the time. In fact, I think Kaelin's confirmed it once or twice. I was gonna say that, okay. And then to be clear, they're not confusing you with Dennis the menace? No, no, nor the Allstate spokesman. It is. Nor the sequel, menace too. Yeah. Society. Yeah, nor the movie don't be a menace. Two. Sounds like. Wow. I'm breaking your juice in a hood. Yeah. Yeah. And that other voice in Long Beach, California. Kaelin Bean. It's going on. Hi, Kaelin. Hey, Chris. And I'm worried about this guy. Because right before the bike seat, he says, guys, if my computer crushes out, it's probably because of the heat, because it's currently about 90 wind degrees in this room in Orange County, California. Oh, boy. Mr. Gary Smith. So you extracted this story from me last week while I'm weak and not in my comfortable environment. And now you've turned it into a fucking theme song. We're going to turn this into like a multi-episode arc.

2:04That's love, baby. Had to. Well, I wanted to give a shout out to KC Peters. He hit me up and he just went, would it be funny if? Yes. Well, here. Let me say this. Let me say this. Yes, it's very fun. Also potentially detrimental to my career. But very funny. We're all cool here. Yeah, shout out to KC Peters. He knocked this one out. Shout out to KC. Thank you very much. You know, people don't, but he did the original intro as well. So if you're wondering why. And every other one. Well, Weston did flick in the bean, but I think he did all the bad. My bad Weston. That was my bad one. Yeah, I did your segment. KC, you ever come up with something for that bean counter segment? We got in the works. Come on. I know. Look what you've done. You know, as we like to say, today's miracle is tomorrow's expectation. All right. Well, Gary, what's going on, man? Well, I'm back home.

3:07My parents returned from their trip over the weekend. And they were insistent that we should today. But quite frankly, the setup at their house sort of worked when they weren't there because we could confine the cats in a small space. And, you know, then there's enough room for the three of us to sleep. But when they're there, that renders like the entire laundry room unusable. And it's just, it's a lot. So we decided we needed to get the animals back into their environment. So over the course of the week that we were gone, my father-in-law helped us acquire two like free standing air conditioning units. I don't know if you guys are familiar with these, but they're like four feet tall, some like that. It's more like Chris. Very familiar. Check A Some House. The Portable. Yeah. Portable units. So we got two of those. I know. Thank you. We got two of those. And they came in staggered. Like my father-in-law upon hearing that this had happened, like basically set out into Southern

4:11California. And my guess is because he's about the nicest man in the world. He hit up every lozen home depot that he could find on Google Maps until he found us these two things. But they weren't going to come right away. They were going to come in a staggered position. So like one came the second day we were at my parents' house and then one came like the day before we moved back. And he and my wife came over and got them installed. And there's one in the master bedroom and there's one in the family room. And they work pretty darn good, but they are not central air. And they do not stretch all the way down like the long hallways and into this office that is in the corner of my house. So the thermostat, which is sort of in the middle of the house, not near either of the units, read 91 or 92 when I walked in to do this podcast. And that is very much how it feels in this room right now. And there is just not much you can do about it. But with that being said, when you're sitting in the rooms where those units are, which

5:12is my bedroom and the other which is like the family room that has main TV and the couch and stuff, it's pretty, it's pretty okay. I mean, it's not comfortable, but it's not uncomfortable. Does that make sense? It sure does. It looks like you enjoying yourself a little sauna right now. Oh, bro, I'm going to lose five pounds if I make it to the end of these podcasts. I just, you know, as you guys know, the air conditioning in my pond car has not been working for a long time. So I have had to find some DIY methods of cooling myself down. So if I could share them with Gary, there were two things that really helped the first thing that I read online is that you're going to want to freeze a water bottle. You're going to want to freeze a water bottle and you stick it right between your legs, really like under the sack, like really get it in there because that helps the blood flow from the rest of your cool down the rest of your body. No, man, it's a frozen water bottle.

6:13I swear. It's a frozen water bottle. You're going to stick it right in between your legs and then you're going to put an ice pack on the back of your neck. Those two things are going to help cool you down as best as a piece of ice, place somewhere on your body. In fact, I intended, I, the water bottle between the legs was not something. I remember now that you've told us that hack before. I was not playing that because I didn't have enough advance time to freeze the said water bottle, but I did intend to come in here with two ice packs that my life is now bringing to me because I was just so frazzled when it came back of the neck. Back of the neck. Back of the neck and right on. No, you talk back up here. Yeah. Yeah. There's one more place. There's one more place. There's four arm right here, biggest vein, one of the biggest vein going through your body goes right here. If you put your hand, put your arms underneath cold water at the time or just put a nice cube there.

7:13He's getting a nice blood travels fast. So we just handed it here. It's here in the Smith household. How do they even know? You want to stick one of those right between your legs? Yeah, put that right. Right in there. Pretty much sit on it. Just killing. Be honest. Which way you turn in that water bottle when you shove it in up your crash there. Yeah. I alter it midway. Yeah, what it does. I'm moving. You got to have spice in life. You got to have a little variety of your situation. Gary, it's going to be more beneficial if it's against the chair. So you could kind of do a lower back. You could do a lower back thing. Yeah. I just want to say welcome to the new listeners. The whole podcast is not going to be us trying to keep Gary cool. But I am liking this. Yeah, let's get. Quick eaters, write some music for this. Get that ice back on the back of your neck. What they should make is just one big tube that goes back of your neck and just drapes right there underneath the crotch like like like Borat swimsuit or something just but it's just all frozen ice back.

8:15Ice back. Yeah. Yeah, that's that's the move. This is your moment. Let's get those made. We'll call them water coolers. Oh filters. Yeah. Is that trademark's done? Yeah. I love it. Matt, it's right on brand. Mr. Cuban water coolers. We present this right for you. Yeah, but sorry Gary. I mean, if those who are listening from all over the world, because we get people from all over the globe, we're going through pretty bad heat wave. I didn't want to talk about it because we all know how Matt feels about us talking about the weather. Yeah. Well, sorry, Matt. I have to point out that when I pulled into my, my house today upon coming home from work, my car said it was 115. I was. No, the temperature. Living in Los Angeles, Southern California for 34 years, I have never experienced this kind of weather in my life in which it is both incredibly hot and also raining all

9:20the fucking time. It's like incredibly humid when it's not. Zoom and humid. Yeah, I have never experienced this weather in my life. It's because of the super El Nino that's coming. Super El Nino, it is going to be a great winter. But this fucking humidity is dog shit. It was 105 in North Hollywood today. Yeah, it was, it was at least 100 downtown. It was crazy. And yeah, yesterday there was no air conditioning working in the restaurant. And at a certain point, one of the people I was sitting with went, is that sweat from the back of your head on the cushion of the booth we're sitting in. And I turned around and I was like, yeah, I think it is. And that's really gross. Thank you for pointing that out. Yeah, Jen was very sweet. We'll just turn them in as I've been outside lately. All right. Yeah. Thank you. Sorry. I don't know who this person was. Yeah. Boss or a subordinate. But if it's the latter, maybe throw some fucking sass back at him. Jen just looked at me today at dinner when you look like that Jordan Peel Giff.

10:22Thanks. But and it's also really cool that you just mentioned that in conversation. So yeah, kind of a turn on. Well anyway, Matt Pivis just a little bit and Matt's having a big. Been like a hundred and eight hundred and nine around here. We don't care what's going on. Yeah, that's nice. So you do have an air condition, home and office, correct? Yes. Okay. And you have easy access to barbecue, correct? Yeah. Yeah, that's pretty great. You have a new age to that's right. Yeah. Happy birthday, Matt. Happy celebrating. Thank you. Happy celebrating. What was your experience? I'm glad the celebration is still continuing even today later. I really appreciate it. It was the first person to reach out to you. Gary, you were, but I got to be honest. It was almost a little suspicious. It was as the clock struck midnight. Automated. And I got to know it was automated. No, you know what it's funny, Matt? The automated was set for 1201. And I happened to be looking at my phone when it changed from 959 to 10 here.

11:27And I went, fuck that baby. No one's beating me and I hit go. So it was set to be automated, but I pushed it. Wow, dude. Very impressive. Dawson, thank you for the birthday text just now. No problem. I was thinking about you. We are not recording on your birthday. Correct. Now Chris, I did also get the message from you, which I also really appreciate on the day of, but I got to tell you, someone else in this group somehow did not acknowledge my birthday. Well, simultaneously giving me the greatest birthday present of all, which is that Kaelin and I had an extended conversation during my work's fantasy football draft because I know what I need is. No, we were, we're, we're allowed to have people help. Technically it's collusion. Yeah, it is collusion. I got a lot to say. I love this. Your league is going to be very suspicious of how this turned out, but we'll keep going. I'm going to let you take this away, boys. I want to hear all about this.

12:29Well, I, I just knew in my gut that I was going to get first pick overall. I just knew that I was going to happen. How can happen any other way? And of course, that is exactly what fucking happened. And so now I felt like the pressure is really on. I cannot just pick nobody. If I had the number one draft pick and I just fuck up and pick somebody completely wrong, that's just, you can't do that. Right. Dossie know what it's like. One of many reasons not to play fantasy football, Matt. Yeah. Did you go and Travis Kelsey? He didn't cross my body. He wanted to at one point. Trust me. I said, no, no, no, no. I'm trying to play as Matt knows. Not only do I not know any of them, but even during and after, I still have no idea who any of them are except for one, which is the kicker. I chose Cameron Dicker who I have. I actually met because he went to UT and was part of that project that I worked on

13:35for a little bit there. So I picked that guy. I'm excited. I know what that's good because they're a Matt. I do. I'm sorry if it was someone else. Did you want me to? I'm an easy man. I believe it's the chargers. I think that's a good pick because the chargers kick a lot of field goals. They kick a lot of fucking field goals and they don't score as many touchdowns as they should. Let's backtrack a little bit. I have him in every league that I'm in. That's very smart. I see this working for both of you because Kaelin loves himself a draft. The boy, the boy loves a draft. I got a fourth draft this year. I wasn't expecting. It was exciting. And the fun part about it is that when we were doing our draft that you were part of Chris, I also got first pick. I remember. Oh, I was able to literally scream shot my team, send it to Matt and go, this is what my first pick draft. I'm going to map this out for you. You just want, all right, I'm going to copy that. Nice. But we still corresponded even no way even second pick was the same.

14:39Um, I know, but it actually went like right before mine. So I could actually could have duplicated it even further. But you know, I don't know what I've been doing. I'm trying to pick different dudes on different teams. So who called who Matt? You obviously called Kaelin to him. Hey, buddy, I got a word text. Oh, I mean, we talked about this on air. Kaelin. Or a blood oath that he would that he would help me. I said, I would be your fantasy football correspondent and I upheld that as soon as I got the text that the draft order had been set. And I saw that I was first overall. I went, oh, God, here we go. But what was the format of this draft? Was it snake snake 60 seconds to pick? Wow. 12 man. Same exact as wonderful. Wonderful. So sane. I love that. Okay. And so how did it go? You have Kaelin in it? I imagine a lot of years ago, I said you know, I think you said that it's good. It's really, I mean, it's very identical to my team except it, except he has a better

15:44tight end and a better wide receiver three. And like arguably maybe even a better kicker. Like I think at the end of the day, he drafted a better team than I did. Oh, yeah. I mean, I won't go through the whole. The student has to come the master. But his wide receiver. Oh, yeah, we have the same running backs, the same two lead wide receivers. And he got the third wide receiver that I wanted, but fucking ball, Brian picked it before me in our draft. But then yeah, he snagged the hell of a tight end that was already gone by the time I came around. So his team is actually like slightly a bit better than that mine is. Well, Matt, I think I think we're going to need ongoing updates on, you know, how your matchups went each week and where you think you could have done better. You know, I'm more interested in the ongoing weekly conversations with your co-workers who are going to ask you about the team that you drafted and the players specifically. Yeah, are you going to fake it? Are you going to try to?

16:44No, I already, I already told them that my buddy was helping me with it. Oh, okay. They let other people like manage the team for other people. They said somebody else had somebody drafting for them the entire time. Oh, oh, okay. There's no money on the line. It's just literally for the, you know, everyone they love talking about it. That's all interesting. In that case, I guess I have a fourth fantasy league now that I need to be the manager of. And I am actually more invested in that league than any of my other three because the other three are stressing me out. I joined too many leagues. So Matt, how many are you in, Kaylyn? I'm in three and it's too many. That's it. Yeah, I, too. Come on. I was going to make a joke about you auto drafting, but Chris did the rare, never before seen act of live drafting his fantasy this year in the Corolla League, which was historic. I said in the chat. This is called it out. You called it out. I appreciate that. Yeah. I wanted for once being charged with my own destiny and I've been drafting myself.

17:46Yeah. I'm in four leagues, Kaylyn. So it's a, it's too much. It's too much. Anyway, Matt, what's your team name? You know, it is a pun on the place that I work. And since I'm trying to keep that under wraps, I'm not going to say it publicly, but, um, that's fine now. That's fine now. But I'm happy with it. And somebody in the league already commented on it and said that they thought it was funny. And so I said, I did my job. You know what, Matt? That's what the water cooler group chat is for. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. We'll be, we'll be rooting for you either way. Thank you. A weekly just hit of, uh, I will. I will. Because I will. I mean, you know, all right. But I was going to be closely involved. Yeah. I just can't. Yeah, Kaylyn, you give us the. Oh, Matt, one more question. I'll give you a weekly update on Matt, fantasy football team now. What, uh, what app are they using? ESPN. Okay. Is that not my favorite? But it's popular. Yeah. I was going to say, can you just like, uh, have like a manager manage from the ESPN

18:50app in which case, I'll just literally take probably reading for the entire year. Well, come on, Jackson. Um, yeah. Well, good luck. Good luck. Anyway, what's your birthday? What did you do? What's what happened? I'm sure we're all sure we're about to dinner over the next five weeks. But that's correct. Yeah. It'll be a several installations. Uh, but no, it was, uh, a rare time where Labor Day was a little bit later in September. Usually, it's like on the first or second. So I had, uh, you know, the three day weekend, like everybody else. And then the next day was my birthday. So, uh, just kind of a fun, fun little run there on Friday are our team, uh, basically took a half day and then all went out to a bar together to just like socialize and kick off the weekend. And then, uh, on Saturday, uh, I'll get into it in more detail, but basically had some buddies come out and join, uh, for amazing dinner and drinks. And then, uh, Sunday took the dogs out for a bit, you know, played some video games.

19:54Again, didn't have to go to work on fucking Monday. That was great too. What are we playing right now? Baldur's game, maybe two things. Yeah, I'm playing Baldur's Gate with my wife. And then I'm also playing, uh, Final Fantasy 7 rebirth, which is part two of the remakeshology and it's fucking incredible. So, yeah. Yeah, I played video games. Right. No, you don't. No, you don't get anything done. You don't get anything done. I never wish that upon anybody. Yeah. Um, and then, yeah, after my, uh, my fantasy football draft at work, on my B day, uh, last night, which was my actual B day, uh, group of friends went out with their dogs, went to the, uh, the dog park. And every time I go to that place, I get fucking horrendous allergy attacks. And now today, I have the sneeze about 450 times. So, um, you know, it's been, uh, it's been a great, great birthday overall. I got to say. So very, very happy. Uh, between fantasy football, Final Fantasy 7, I mean, a lot of fantasy, fantasy and that.

20:55I told you, Caleb, he's helped me with my Final Fantasy football league. Were they able to reserve you a very nice table at the dog park? Great question. No. Didn't need to ask. Well, I can't wait to hear this. Can't wait to hear all about your dinner. You know, I'm going, I'm playing going, um, to one to New Orleans in a few weeks. I already sent it for a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a, a ghost tour. So we'll see. Oh, awesome. Yeah. Now you're talking to big 30 guys. Really? They won't show up. I tried that in like Arrowhead. They're all the ghosts for two scared to come out. Well, it doesn't work with them. I thought you meant the 30 dudes are not going to show up. Caleb, Chris, you're, you're talking about a few weeks from now, but I want to ask you about something that I saw, I think, over the weekend, were you out on the links while it was raining? Yeah. I got a tea time with some friends and the, uh, the window that we chose was probably the worst window. Uh, just, just pelted. Just being pelted the whole time with rain, but it was, there was one day where it came

21:59down hard. And there's been like three or four days where it's, it's actually, I feel like it would be kind of nice golf weather. Like it's come warm outside, but it's just kind of drizzling. Yeah, but I think Chris went on Sunday and that's the day you're talking about. Oh, okay. Yeah, we were, we were so, but we had a great time. I just thought, you know, it's like our version of a water park. We're just, uh, we're just getting wet. We don't, we have no cares in the world. You know, a little rain never heard anyone right, Matt? Lock and kill you. Oh, that's right. Jumanji. Um, so it's just, but, but we did have a, a good time. And then I'm, uh, I'm going on, I'm going to a wedding in a little, a few weeks and Jen's like, oh, there's a theme. And I don't know. There's a theme. And it is Victorian era or something. I don't know. Is that a bird or a henchman? Are you the efficient of this one? No, I'm not, I'm not officiating this one, but I am attending and Jenny is in this wedding.

23:01Um, it's a destination wedding. So we'd fly and driving to get out there. All these people, destination, wonderful people. Victorian era. Well, here's the thing. See, I have to pack these giant fucking poofy dresses. So I didn't know about this till recently. So I thought I'm just wearing my suit because I've one suit. It's the one I got married in and I wear it to all the weddings and all the weddings I officiate and all of the above. Um, and it's like, oh, no, it's a nice suit. This, thank you. It is a nice suit. You guys, you know, Gary, you saw it. Very, very, very nice suit. Thank you. Thank you. You can't, Matt, I'll show it to you guys one day, but it's nice. And then, uh, Jen's like, oh, so you're going to have to wear suspenders. Now, I don't have suspenders. I didn't, I don't want, I mean, I don't mind wearing suspenders, but I don't own any suspenders. I'm just like, oh, I already got you something. So just wear them with your suit. And I looked at her and I went, you want me, you want me to wear suspenders? With trousers that have belt loops?

24:04Cause that's insane talk. You don't do that. I'm not going to wear suspenders while I have empty belt loops. I'm a trouser. When, what is the Victorian era? I honestly don't know what that time period is. Are you, when, when the fuck was the Victorian era? I'm going to go like 1700s. I have no idea. I don't even know. I guess I guess I don't think they had the fucking 1780, but they didn't have belts in the 1700s. The Victorian era goes from, well, it's very specific. June 20th, 1837 to January 22nd, 1901. Oh, so it was offside bit there. Somebody woke up two days after election day went no more. That's a new era. Yes, suspenders are probably in style back then. Yeah, I mean, we're going to go for like a lot of belts though. You know, as I said, like Matt won't have a cocktail made by anyone not wearing suspenders.

25:06Like it's just, it's a spat, Matt. All out. Okay, but, but I'll be honest, I did have a suspender face. I had a suspender face. So I know not to wear belt loops with my suspenders, not to have belt loops. Right, right. Right. Hold on a second. Okay, listen, if you ever see a guy wearing a belt and suspenders, avoid him at all costs because you cannot trust a man who cannot trust his pants. That's right. Wow. As we all know. That's good. All right, well, moving on. I used to wear suspenders and clothes. Because I would go to race. Absolutely not moving on. Time for climates here. No, no, no, no, no. You had a suspender's face. It's so nice. Climb. I did. I did. I'm so funny myself. What was the first time that you saw some suspenders and that's it. I need some time. That's the one.

26:06Right now. Go for me. I would say that like early 20s, when I was just still trying to figure out my style. I thought I kind of like that look. I'll get. I went to a very indie high school. Yeah. We're definitely in style when I was around around 2006 to 2009. Is that kind of what we're talking about? Because it was that early 20s, baby. There we go. The gallon nose. I just want to look like I was in Mumford and sons. You know, just. You were as hip as a high school, high school freshman. I mean, it was a look that was encompassing all of us. It wasn't just me. It was suspenders and skinny jeans. That's kind of what people were rocking back then. Janssen pouch. It's full of dirty, a little dirty. A little indie, maybe like a cut off jeans. A little mustache. A little mustache. Yeah. Yeah. Kila knows the look. Yeah.

27:06That was the look. Ill fitting pants, maybe some dress shoes. It's weird though, because weren't you a skater? I was part. This is it. I'm talking about indie kids. Oh, skaters dress like that too. There's some skaters that look like that. I mean, I didn't commit. I got suspenders and I barely wore them. Because all my pants had belt loops. Also. That's not a suspender's face. I so warm, I so warm, I remember once. If you wear them, it's like three times a year, three or four times a year, you went through a suspender face. Yeah, I don't think I've owned. If you wear them once, you will be remembered for that. So even three times a year is, yeah, it's gotta be a face. Sure, how dorky they were growing up. We were kids, it was like, oh, Steve Irkwald. He would just like, hey, what's up guys? Like, they eventually started looking pretty cool. And then, and all the bands I would watch, and I remember thinking, I need to look. All these guys have looks. I don't have a look. I'm just, yeah, just wear a t-shirt and jeans all the time. Yeah, it's because you work at the macaroni grill. I need some small, I need some suspenders. I know, I need to be able to back this up.

28:08So, yeah, got some suspenders. I even went through like a hat phase. Like the- I believe, you're still in that hat phase to a certain extent. That was, no, no, when you worked at Corolla, the telltale sign that you wanted to, but did not have time to get a haircut, was you would start rocking a hat to work every day. Oh, oh, well, I still wear hats all the time. Like caps, but I meant like the full brim hat. Like a word. A hat. The full good Charlotte. A hat, a hat, a man's hat. Like what the, what- You basically look like Tom Petty. That's what I'm picturing right now. Well, no, they weren't at the same time. Yeah, I'm still trying to stuff out. There is an episode of Merid with Children where Bud Bundy was about to start like his new school year and just like, which guy should I be? And he had like a closet full of all these different outfits. And that was kind of my life for a while. It's like, hmm, what should I do? What should I become? Which should I become now?

29:09And I never committed to any of them. And I'm just a t-shirt, t-shirt and jeans guy. Good best chance though, a Spender Guy probably. So Spender Guy, I don't know. I don't know what Spender Guy. I think you like Spender Guy. With Chris's hair, I think the hat guy could have had a chance. I tried, but there's just no hats fit me. I would go to all the hat stores and I try them on. Like this is not an XL, sir. I don't think this is an XL. Doesn't fit my head. And but I did, there was a point where I wanted to hat. And now I look back and like thank goodness none of those things caught because, yeah, I'm glad I don't have any photos of that. So, but I will have photos of me and suspenders shortly. So I'll make sure to take some selfies. You know, I'll put it on the Patreon. I'll drop some pics and put it in the Patreon live. So, but go back to your whole Victorian costume here. I know we got a little sidetracked. So you're wearing suspenders. Is Jenny have to wear some big ass dress? Like big poofy thing.

30:10And to Caleb's point, why are people making you guys travel on top of having a dress like Lutus? Thank you. Well, I'll answer your question right away, Matt. Yes, she's going to have to be wearing some big poofy thing. She's in the freaking wedding. And if the wedding is theme, you know that the bridal party is going to be to the minds on that theme. This is just telling you you have to bring extra suitcases. Like this does not seem fair. Are they going to pay for extra suitcases? She's a wonderful human being and we're happy to do it. You're celebrating their love, man. I'm sure they're happy to do it. Yeah, exactly. It's like, you know, as far as what Jenny's wearing, I have no idea. I never asked. I was too worried about the suspenders with belt loops thing. And I was kind of just worried about myself. So. So what's your solution to the suspenders with belt loop thing? Are we renting pants that don't have belt loops? I don't know. Maybe I just removed the belt loops off my pants. I don't really. I do that. That's definitely the move. Snip snip. Chris, if you need to rent a pair of pants that don't have belt loops, know a guy who knows a guy who can hook you up. All right.

31:11Why? You have a belt loopless guy? A connect? I'm down. I do. Kaelin recently visited the establishment. I know. I know who you're talking about. All right. Well, look, I played the intro. I feel like we should. Hold on. Hold on. Can I share a picture? Do I have? Do I have share abilities? Yeah, try. Let's see what happens. Okay. Hold on. This is good. Here we go. You want me to, you want me to stall? Oh, oh. Come on, baby. Wow. That's a rave suspenders right there. I'm looking at a picture of Insomniac. Wow. This is taken by VentVib.com or EventVib.com. That's a crazy tag club, yeah. Dude, wow. Look at that. Wow, look at those fucking party boys. Oh, yeah. Brought them up. One of my firsts. That was one of my firsts. Let's have Dawson explain this. Good for the listeners. Dawson, or the way they can't see this picture, Dawson, what are we looking at? Uh, Kaelin's got a white t-shirt on with rainbows suspenders like Mork from Ork, some

32:11plaid pants, a goofy fucking, uh, that Chicago fucking Bay, Harry, Carrie glasses way too many bracelets. And he's got his hands together and like a heart. Like he really hearts this. He's doing a cool pose. Awesome. You are skipping over the most what should be based on your statement, disturbing part of this photo. What is that there around his waist? That appears to be a belt with suspenders, sir. Oh shit, dude. Can't trust a man. Well, I would never trust in you. You tell me you've run into this guy. You're going to trust him. Do you need that information to know not to trust this man? I don't think so. I was standing next to another suspended individual with an equally pair, disturbing pair of classes. He really likes himself. He's got a headband on no shirt and very thin red suspenders and Mickey mouth's mouse

33:12gloves. Uh, also with way too many bracelets. Love it. He looks like he looks like they found Waldo and they wish he'd leave again. That's a great picture, Kaelin. If we saw this picture before we met you, you know, sliding doors. I mean, I think your brother would be on this podcast because we've heard him. No, this is, this is awesome. Thank you in Somniac. It's been a minute since we've seen it. That's a very serious one. Yeah, that. What do you think, do you think Chris is right? I think if this had been included with the application, you're probably going to talk twice. You're hired. Oh, raves, man. Those are the days, right, Kaelin? We went to raves. Oh, fucking tell me about it. I know, man. All right. Well, let's, oh, you know, before new comments, there's a new, there was a new announcement today in tech. And I've kind of followed it a little bit, but I'm sure Gary's been keeping up with the

34:14times, but the iPhone, Dawson, foldable. They finally got on board with what Samsung and Google have been doing for many years, but I think they're doing it better. And basically your iPhone just turns into an iPad. I don't, I don't know what's happening here. Yeah, it's called the iPhone duo. And basically the idea is that when it is closed, it is a squatter format than what most people have been doing for the longest time. And this has changed in the past three months. But for the first several generations of foldables, basically what you had was a phone that when it was closed looked akin to what your iPhone looks like. And then you would open it and they call it hotdog style. And you would get like kind of a square bigger screen that was like the equivalent of two iPhones sitting next to each other. What Apple decided to do was they went for what people are calling a passport style phone that is shorter when it's closed. It's about a 5.6 or 5.7 inch screen. And then when you open it, it turns into a form factor that's like a sideways iPad mini

35:14with a screen that's almost the exact same size, it's like 7.1 on the inside. So I'll be honest, it looks pretty slick from all the videos that I've been. That looks kind of fun. It looks. I mean, here's the thing. It's very, very expensive. Two grand for the story, for the base. 1999 for the cheapest one. You know, the videos, the reaction has been good. It was somewhat of a surprise that the inner screen is matte as opposed to glossy Apple screens. There was always been an option on like high end iPads and a high end studio displays and stuff to get what's called a black camera, what their name for it is, but they have this mic, this like, I know that I don't know. Sat and finish. I think it's called nanotexture or something like that. But the exterior screen is exactly what you would normally expect on an iPhone. It's just a little squatter. And then when you open it up, it turns into an iPad. It looks interesting.

36:14The reviews are generally positive aside from the price. It just seems to be one of these things of like, do you want that? And will you use that? And I personally, you guys know me. I'm usually the guy that goes out and gets the new thing right when it first comes out. I was not too interested in this product and I am interested in holding it and playing with one for a few minutes just to see, you know, if I like it, but I can't see myself spending two grand on a phone, even if it is cool. It, I think it right now, it's a status symbol more than anything. And then, and then you can, and then maybe the technology get better and more people can have it. You can keep it as like a clock on your nightstand, just fold it. I think until people get used to it, it's going to look very silly talking on the phone. Oh, well, here's the thing. When the iPhone first came out, I remember they think I was just like, this is never going to work. Apple coming out of the phone. There are no buttons. Boy, where are you right? There are buttons like the blackberry.

37:15No, there was, there was one button, but it didn't really count. I mean, like, no, no keyboard buttons. I have to touch tap on a screen. I'm not going to feel it. No. And then still work. And then you held one for the first time. And what was your mind completely changed? I want to. I was, I was a hardcore blackberry person at the time. And I loved my blackberries. I had gone through probably five or six of them. I think at the time I was up to the bold, which had like the little swipe pad instead of the wheel. Blackberry bold, dude. Yeah. That sounds like a special yogurt you can get. Gary was a big, your big BBM guy. I was big BBM in college. That was the, that was the way you communicated in college. Um, yeah, big, big BBM guy, big, big email guy. I would be, I'd reply to emails on blackberry all day long. Yeah. I think that's probably what got me into being like the zero in back, the zero inbox psycho that I am today. Are you really a zero in box? Gary's zero guy when it comes to, yeah, emails.

38:16Well, I know he's great at, but are you an inbox zero like you delete your emails? No, I don't delete. I would never delete an email. That's insane. Isn't that inbox zero as you delete the email? So inbox inbox zero is all on red. Oh, I have that. A lot of people read a lot of people don't are all red. If it's zero, then it's all red. But they're not ready. Yeah. Like on an iPhone, if you look at the mail symbol, there should not be a red number in the corner. Yeah. There are no, there are no messages left. Unread your, your either hand reading them all or responding to them all, but okay, same thing. Yeah. Or snoozing. I that is that is my one like little work around is sometimes if somebody sends me an email that I, for instance, if a, an ad is sent to me for a podcast that is like 10 days in the future, I just want that to pop back up the night before. So I'll snooze it. Oh, smart. I have to use that feature. Good hack. All right. Let's do a couple of comments before you get out of here. I have nine. I have nine on red emails.

39:17I have one because I don't check emails during the podcast. By the way, I mean, I can't my side account. Who many knows on eight thousand, but my main account, I got nine. So I feel like I'm doing pretty good. All right. Let's, let's do this is the comment from our Facebook group. Got a Facebook.com slash groups slash bo bo boy army worldwide LLC. And if you want to join, if you're not a member, you should join. It's free. It's constantly growing to a wonderful community. My favorite place on the internet. This is Eric Lapor. And he just says, if you guys haven't signed up for Patreon yet, I don't know what you're waiting for because I highly recommend joining the movie club tier because we just did Apollo 13. Matt Shea for Apollo 13 was possibly my favorite one ever. So if you want to hear a good shape on the lay, space food. Oh, it was more than that. It was so much more than that.

40:17I can tell you someone who's going to be at our next movie club because they just signed up for the mall money tier today and their name is David Vella. So there you are. Hey, David. There are literally hundreds of us. Well, I mean, if we're talking about movie club, we might as well get to it. I mean, it's my pick. Oh, did you? Yeah. It's my prediction for the movie club this week. I mean, Dawson, I was going to give a little teaser, but even before that, I'll be honest. I'll tell you if I was right. OK, a little hint is that the movie that I am picking for this month's movie club tier has been mentioned on this podcast during this episode already. During this episode, it has been mentioned. Jumanji. Jumanji, baby. Jumanji. We've done you, monji. We've done it as a movie club already. We've already done it. God, thank God. I was going to say I was right, dude. That's the one I picked. But I will. Well, no, I might go back to the well. No, I have.

41:19I want you to do good. Well, I am debating between two other options. There are two other options right now. My all-American. And I don't know if they're going to be leaving Netflix before the end of the month. That's pretty easy, Google. Let's just try to keep it in the family, huh? Well, whatever you don't, don't pick the Mandalorian in Grogu, because somebody gave it one and a half stars. I'm not saying who, but I've also watched that, dude. It's also an Disney plus. So I actually watched that with zero expectations, like negative expectations. And I found it quite pleasurable. It's fine. I'm glad you pleasure yourself to. Pretty good. It's fine. It's two episodes of the TV. I mean, I totally peed off to Grogu. Right. I played with Grogu. I played with Grogu before. Well, it is, it's a fine movie, but it is also essentially just two episodes of the Mandalorian TV show that they tried to refashion as a movie.

42:21Sure. I went into it. It was your expectations as well, Dawson. I did not feel like I had wasted my money when I was leaving, but I also didn't feel like I needed to tell anyone to go run and see it. Let's just put it this way. I don't think Favaro felt particularly proud of this. I don't know. He's launching a new podcast, like to go along with the launch of it on Disney Plus, where he's the host. Some money grab. I don't know if you can, you know, it's at one point your soul just screams. What are you doing? Podcasts should not be a money grab. By the way, if anybody's not subscribed to Patreon, they are. If anyone was not subscribed to our Patreon, please subscribe for as low as $5 a month. You get extra content, a new episode, an extra episode every week, add free versions of episodes plus. Exactly. Opportunities like the aforementioned movie club and meetups that we do online, which are very. And the promise that we won't be a money grab. In the promise we won't we're not going to grab your money. We're not going to do that. We're not going to find out how. Yeah. Thank you, Dawson. Thank you.

43:22Alrighty. I got to, I told you I had two backups. I had two backups and I can't choose between the two. So I think I'm just going to leave it, leave it up to committee to decide the final vote. On this month's movie club. Okay. But the committee will, the committee will make the pick for you and the pick will be attributed to you. And well, there is four of you. So if you are split, if the committee is split, I will still have the final vote. But if the committee can offer something really, this is still your movie pick. One day in the future, we will go back and do again, we'll get it at episode six. And we will rate everyone's, you know, movie library. So this pick, even if it's picked by the committee is being attributed to you. If you want to know. No, Caitlin, may I, may I don't care? Let me throw you a suggestion. I already won the first vote. I don't care. Just, just give us, just, let's keep it in the family, dude, and watch aliens. See, I was going to pick aliens, but I bought it the biased. I know. I just, how would that be? I haven't seen it in like 20 years, maybe 30 or 40 years.

44:23I haven't seen it in so fucking long. The only thing I remember that. I'm not moving. You just watch it. You're the first one that watches. You love it so much. You don't have time. I have to watch it for work. It has to be a job or I won't be able to watch it. I can't. Maybe a lawyer was a job of some sort. It's great. Don't get me wrong, but I like to film for a movie. But now we're going to go to picks first pick. Adam Sandler classic 90s. He'll be totally, oh no, 90s. Big daddy. Oh, big. That's actually two thousands. No way, no way. No shot. Maybe early 2000s. But okay, big. 2003. Oh, wait, hold on. What? No, hold on. Is right before I got suspenders. It's got that 90s. Okay. Okay. All right. Another 90s classic. Are we going comedy or are we going action? Because the next one is going to be speed. Oh, baby. That's tough.

45:23Big daddy or speed. Pop, I will be really happy to discuss aliens with you on the next movie night. Okay. Well, let's let's take. Okay, Matt, you're first between those two. First. Your first. Yeah, I don't want you influenced. My vote is whatever Caleb wants because it's his choice. All right. I mean, I have my tiebreaker. So I will go with Matt for that one. I have my tiebreaker. You're. You're you're letting that happen? All right. No, that's true because we could. I'm not going to fucking answer it. One of my. Yeah, we could tie. Now we can't. I definitely have a movie I prefer more than the other. But I'd like Caleb to pick. That's my true. All right. All right. Then I guess we're going. No, no, no, no, let's get all the votes. Gary. We already got three. We still need all the votes. We're going speed. I there's no Gary didn't vote to Gary. Doesn't matter Gary. Matt and three minutes of my.

46:24There is three minutes away from going tarps off right now. Just do it, man. It's going to feel so good. I understand the math now. I thought big daddy would be fun, but hey, you can't deny speed. All right. Well, it would have been a real Sophie choice for me. I'm happy with speed for sure. I'm just happy that you made the right decision. It's so hot. I'm trying to make a game out of it. You guys didn't want to play. Let's just go ahead and pick speed. I just like to get that's probably on me for not realizing we'd already done too much. I just added it to so you should. Oh, nice. Hey, you just watch out for that wild cap on the wheel. I just speaking of wild cats, I just like to get Gary's screen and it's so hot in his room. His face is what the face Jeff Daniels made right before the bomb went off. He's he's not a good dad. We got to get we got to give him a cooler water. I'm thermostat. My thermostat is at 91. And that's literally the year that I have. Running. All right. I was reading a couple of video of Jeff Daniels explaining how he decided to play

47:27that moment in speed when he realizes the bombs about to go off last week. I watched that video. So when I saw that's what's it. It that that is one of my most memorable scenes like whatever decision he made, I don't think he could have made a better one. It's it's a great video. I'll try and find it again and download and play during movie club. So yeah, Mark is watching. I'll find him. Marty wards as Gary air conditioning seems to not work way too often. Hopefully that's a warranty job. So yeah, hopefully, hopefully we have a. This was even in your hat. This was in like your old apartment too that you lived in with joy. Like before you even got that you just have air conditioning problems. So that unit, which I replaced at the time that that happened that you're talking about, Caitlin has since died and I've had to replace it again. Those things are supposed to last 20 to 30 years. That one lasted about six or seven.

48:28And then the one here at this house, we do not have a specific warranty for the air conditioner, but we have a home warranty and the air conditioner is covered under that. We have had an expert, like an independent guy come out to see if maybe it was a quick fix and he has told us no, your compressor has completely failed. But because every other part of the air conditioning system works, that should be something that your home warranty will cover. He said, you may have to fit with them a little bit, but keep fighting and eventually you'll win. So on Monday, the company that we were assigned to buy the home warranty company comes out to presumably report back to them. Yes, the compressor has failed. And then the fight starts. And then when we get a new air conditioner after that, Lord only knows. So I am not like in the home stretch of this yet. I am very in the middle and the dog days of this air conditioner being broken. It is now day. Oh, let's see here. 11 hot as the weather of the whole year.

49:30It does. If you look at the forecast by the middle, but by this time next week, they're forecasting highs in like the 70s. Yeah. That's what nearly see will be fixed. If we get to that, then it's way less of an issue. But right now, I mean, the high today was 104. Yeah. And yeah, shout out to producer, Lourley. She's been begging us to come back. And it just hasn't really made sense to the animals in school schedules. And yeah, right, right. Further, you can't run your own routine. It's someone else's house. And it's not just you get my kids school literally got canceled tomorrow because Edison something's going on at their fucking power plant. And at my kids school, there's no fans. There's no AC. There's nothing working. So they're like, we literally have to shut down school tomorrow because none of our shit is working. And it was like, okay, great. Now you work. Yeah, I will. But I guess not anymore. I will say that I was able to work from home.

50:30My parents home a couple of days last week. That wasn't approved by anyone. I just sort of decided that I was doing that. And I didn't hear much about it. But yeah, I mean, look, man, it's, it's dicey. I, my, I feel like my standard, like resting temperature right now is about 82 degrees. Whereas it's normally closer to the 70s. All right, we'll get a few more comments. And then Gary could go dunk his head in some water. Couple for you, Caitlin, Andrew, that one guy Richmond says, I love that. Caitlin calls my custom wedding shoes lame. Then goes on a tangent about wearing whatever shoes you want because it's a vibe thing. It's time for your shoes. You wore to the premiere. No, yeah. No, I get that. I don't remember calling his custom wedding shoes. Lane. Oh, okay. Small Andrew. Yeah. I support you, man. I feel like I'm, yeah, just the vibe thing. I don't know where the, where the, yeah, fucking.

51:31And then duck guy. I'm my man. Duck guy says, damn it, Caitlin. You are thinking of a bayonet, not a bandalier. A bayonet is the blade you mount on the barrel of your rifle and a bandalier. That's true. It's a strap that can hold ammo very easily confused. Why? I did say band. I mentioned a bandalier and said that's that thing with the bullets, right? That you go across your body. Right. Okay. I don't remember. Caitlin. Is it a bandalier? I just don't want to be in the rear of the suspenders. I just know bandalier from Madamon. And fucking same part right. I almost had a bandalier. Anybody got a bandalier? Isn't that the cartridge and like the carbine that anybody got a bandalier? And he throws them a fucking round and puts it anyway. I thought that's what a bandalier. I think he is asking if anyone has a bandalier because he needs some ammo out of it. In that. And so that makes sense. The bayonet though is the like knife that you basically attach to the end of your, your rifle for stab and crowds.

52:32I don't know what I remember. I have that came up. We were talking about that guys. She's being lame and then we started talking about that. You remember that? I'm waiting. She is a fiber call. And then a bandad came in. Yeah. Yeah. You're right. You're right. Man, I believe that is what happened. All right. Well, why don't we close up. Clownman's there. Gicker in a cooler air. Go around the horn. Get some plugs and then we'll GTFL. I'll start over there in Austin, Texas. Matt fond of the air. What could we plug for you? Yeah, just patreon.com slash water cooler. Please support the show five bucks a month. Listen to the second half of this conversation. All of our conversations at free. Come on. Come on. It's, it's a no brainer. And it's definitely not a money grab. It's worth just like a money handshake. Yeah. Just the right thing. You know, you know, I think. All right. Can. What about you? I will have a really cool plug for a really cool podcast that will probably be out

53:35by this time next week. But until then, go watch Lanterns on HBO. Oh, fucking yeah. I really not. I really, I was not fucking interested. I, you know, I hear about online. I watched it. I am very invested now. Super solid. Super solid for episodes in very invested. If you need a good show, you like a weekly show. I never gave a phone is DC can fumbles their shit so badly so often. But Lanterns is holding up really well so far. So could check out Lanterns and just remind us slow horses. New season coming up very soon. So catch up on your slow horses. Okay. Season comes. That's Apple. That's Apple. Apple is just number one, right? A crush. Yeah. They are. Yeah. I mean, slow horses arguably was the beginning of that great run. You know, for like six, six seasons now. Severance might have been before. All right. Get rid of you. Uh, for me, patreon.com slash water cooler.

54:38Um, go check that out. And then, uh, as far as entertainment, wreck, uh, lioness on Paramount Plus. They're in the third and final season. Uh, it's great, great action. Uh, I love the third and final season. Any show that's like, Hey, three seasons and we're done. I respect the hell out of that. Yeah. Well, and then even better news, Matt or even better news, Kaelin is that one of the main characters in that show lioness is named Michael Kelly. And because he is presumably now freed up by lioness being over, he is going to play a very big character in season three of landman. And I could not be happier about that. Say and man. Great for season. Second season. Third season is going to be a reset. They've already announced that it's going to be better. A fucking recent. It's a recent. Uh, they lost me. They lost a season that they want to reset from season. Second season. I never finished the second season. What do you mean? No, I don't care anymore. Now, if you get to the end of season two, it is very clear that season three is

55:43going to be a whole different thing. So I would encourage anyone who likes the first season of landman. It's worth watching through to the end of season two. All right. Nice. All right. Doth, what about you? Come on, people now smile on your brother. Everybody get together. Try to love one another right now. And maybe in Las Vegas on September 19th. I'm hosting at the Alleyante Hotel in Casino with Brett Ernst and Amy Ashton. And it's going to be a super fun night. So come out to Vegas. Nice. North Vegas. September 19th. September. Right. Nice from Cobra Kai. Brett Ernst from Cobra Kai, dude. Dude, it's sick. I don't know. I don't get the reverence. He's in the show Cobra Kai. He's an actor in the show Cobra Kai. Like one of the biggest shows ever. Sweet. I watched that. I also watched it. I stopped watching during the second season. Of all the shows, you don't think it's one of the biggest shows ever. Of all the shows that come out in the history of time.

56:44You don't think it's one of the, I would not put that into time. I don't know. It's not in the top. I'm not saying top. I wouldn't. What is top shows do you think there are that came out quite a thousand three hundred and seventeen? Like around that. And I would put it somewhere. Absolutely insane. There's so many more TV shows on Netflix than that. First of all, second of all, Hill Street Blues is better. Yeah, didn't even start its life on Netflix. It was a YouTube show. Yeah. That Netflix acquired C3. Yeah. We got to stop talking about his mouth reading. Are you bleeding? I'm not bleeding. I'm bleeding everybody. I'm bleeding. Too much podcasting doing a turn to your habit. As for me, wait, like I just want to, for my plug, I just wanted to plug Apple. It turned a, it's constantly turning a non-believer into a believer. iPhones, Apple TV, iPads, IMAX, Macbooks, Macbook Pros. I'm just, I'm sorry, man, I'm, I'm going to be a drag this out.

57:44I think, Matt is bleeding everybody. Let's get that old trick coming out in a month or two here. See all this stuff. So yeah, shout out to Apple. All right, that will do it for this episode of our cool we back for Patreon later this week. We got to reset like season two of Landman. So Gary can get cooler and Matt can, I don't know, get some, get some going to stop the bleeding. Play the outro music. It's just, it's crazy. Okay. Crazy. Here we go. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. Ooh. You love it. Goodbye.