Mind Webs - The Eel

0:00This week at Vons and Albertsons, USDA Choice Tri-Tip Rose untrimmed are 599 per pound, limit 4 rows with membership wear applicable, and medium ripe hassovacados are 99 cents each, with membership wear applicable, plus Kellogg cereals 8.8 to 16.1 ounces, selected varieties, or peppered farm goldfish, 5.9 to 8 ounces, are 199 each when you buy three, limit 3 offers with membership wear applicable, visit Vons or Albertsons.com for more deals and ways to save. Hey it's Kelly Rowland, you may not know this, but I have eczema, so I get how it can still your time. But why let eczema take over when you can talk to your doctor about eczema? Eczema, lubricismab LBKZ, a 250 milligram per 2 milliliter injection, is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older, who weigh at least 88 pounds for 40 kilograms, with moderate to severe eczema. Also called a topic dermatitis that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin, or topicals, or who cannot use topical therapies.

1:02Eczema can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you are allergic to eczema. A allergic reaction can occur that can be severe. Eye problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have newer worsening eye problems, you should not receive a live vaccine when treated with eczema. Before starting eczema, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection, paid partnership with Lilly. Respect your time. Ask your doctor about eczema and visit eczema.com, or call 1-800-LilyRX or 1-800-545-5979. This week at Vons and Albertsons, USDA choice tri-tip roast untrimmed are 599 per pound, limit four roasts with membership wear applicable, and medium-ripe hassovacados are 99 cents each, with membership wear applicable. Plus Kellogg cereals 8.8 to 16.1 ounces, selected varieties, or peppered farm goldfish 5.9 to 8 ounces are 1.99 each when you buy three. Limit three offers with membership wear applicable. Visit vons or Albertsons.com for more deals and ways to save.

2:49Welcome to a half hour of mindways. Short stories from the worlds of speculative fiction. This is Michael Hanson. The mind web story this evening is by Miriam Allen DeFord. A story copyright 1958 by Galaxy Publishing Corporation. This is titled The Eel. He was intimately and unfavorably known everywhere in the galaxy, but with special virulums on

3:53eight planets in three different solar systems. He was eagerly sought on each. They all wanted to try him and punish him in each case by their own laws and customs. This had been going on for 26 terrestrial years, which means from minus 10 to plus 280 and some of the others. The only place that did not want him was Earth, his native planet, or he was too smart to operate. But of course, the Galactic Police were looking for him there too, in order to deliver him to the authorities of the other planets in accordance with the interplanetary constitution. For all those years, the Eel, which was his Earth moniker, elsewhere he was known by names indicating equally squirmy and slimy life forms, had been galley going his way, known under a dozen different aliases turning up suddenly here there everywhere, committing his gigantic bepredations, and then disappearing as quickly and silently when his latest enterprise had succeeded.

4:56He specialized in enormous unprecedented thefts. It was said that he despised stealing anything under the value of 100 million terrestrial units, and most of his thefts were much larger than that. He had no recognizable modus operandi, changing his methods with each in crime. He never left a clue. But in bravado he signed his name to every job, his moniker flattered him, and after each malfunction the victim, usually a government agency, a giant corporation, or one of the clan enterprises of the smaller planets, would receive a message consisting merely of the impudent depiction of a large, wriggling eel. They got him at last, of course, the Galactic Police, like the prehistoric Royal Canadian-Mondid, had the reputation of always catching their man. Sometimes they don't catch him till he's dead, but they catch him. It took them 26 years,

5:57and it was a hard job for the eel, always worked alone, and never talked afterward. They did it by the Herkulean labor of investigating the source of the fortune of every inhabitant of earth, since all that was known was that the eel was a terrestrial. Every computer in the federation worked over time, analyzing the data fed into it. It wasn't entirely a thankless task, for as a byproduct, a lot of embezzlers, tax evaders, and lesser robbers were turned up. In the end, it narrowed down to one man, one man who owned more than he could account for having. Even so, they almost lost him for his takings where cashed away under so many pseudonyms that it took several months just to establish that they all belonged to the same person. When that was settled, the police swooped. The eel surrendered quietly. The one thing he was unsure of was never being

7:00apprehended, and he was so dumbfounded that he was unable to put up any resistance. And then came a still greater question, which of the planets was to have him. Zistol said it had the first right because his theft there had been the largest, a some so huge that it could be expressed only by an algebraic index. Arthur's argument was that his first recorded crime had been on that planet. Madoris wanted in because it's only penalty for any felony. He is an immediate and rather horrible death, and that would guarantee getting rid of the eel forever. The series put in the claim on the ground that it was the only planet or moon and the solve system in which the eel had operated. And since he was a terrestrial, it was a matter of four local jurisdiction. Ebb pleaded that it was the newest and poorest member of the Galactic Federation and should have been protected in its inexperience against his beefy schnitz.

8:06Ha Al-Marath argued that it had earned his custody because it was its chief ruler who had suggested to the police the method which had resulted in the eel's arrest. Lavonou were encountered that it should be the chosen recipient since the theft there had included a desecration of the High Temple. Little eggs, which was only a probationary Galactic associate, modestly said that if it were given the eel, its prompt and exemplary punishment might qualify it for full membership, and it would be grateful for the chance. A special meeting of the Galactic Council had to be called for the sole purpose of deciding who got the eel. Representatives of all the claimant planets made their representations. Each told an eloquent detail why his planet and his alone was entitled to custody of the arch criminal,

9:07and what his people would do to him when, not if, they got him. After they had all been heard, the councillors went into executive session with press and public varned, and in discreet councillor, there was Oal of Flegon of Valterre, if you want to know, leaked later some of the rather indecorous proceedings. The Earth councillor, he reported, had been granted a voice but no vote since Earth was not an interested party as to the crime, but only as to the criminal. Every possible system of arbitration had been discussed chronological, numerical in respect to the size of the theft, and legalistic in respect to whether the culprit would be available to be handed on to another victim when the first got through punishing him. In the Walter of claims and counterclans, one Harris councillor, weirdly, suggested a lottery. Another in desperation recommended handing the eel,

10:07a list of prospective punishments on each of the eight planets, and then observing which one seemed to inspire the eel with most dread, which would then be the one selected. One even proposed poisoning him and announcing his sudden collapse and death. The sessions went on day and night. The exhausted councillor separated for brief periods of sleep and then went at it again. A hung jury was unthinkable. Something had to be decided. The news outlets of the entire galaxy were beginning to issue sarcastic editorials about procrastination and coddling of criminals, and there were hints about bribery and corruption. In some remarks, the perhaps what was really needed was a few impeachments, or maybe a new general election. So, at last, in utter despair, they awarded the eel to Axk, as a sort of bonus and

11:09incentive. Whichever planet they named, the other seven were going to scream to high heaven, and Axk was least likely to be able to retaliate against any expressions of indignation. Axkians, as everyone knows, are fairly humanoid beings, primitives from the outer edge of the galaxy. They were like, mmm, college freshmen invited to a senior fraternity. This was their big chance to make good. The eel, Tassathunasevri, was delivered to a delegation of six of them, sent a medium in one of their lumbering spaceships. A low counter-grav machines, such as Earth, at outgrown, several millennia before. They were so afraid of losing him that they put a metal belt around him with six chains attached to it and fastened all six of themselves to him. Once on Axk, the eel was placed in a specially-made stone pit, surrounded by guards and fed through

12:15the only opening. In preparation for the influx of visitors to the trial, an anticipated greater assembly of off-planeters than little Axk had ever seen, they evacuated their capital city temporarily. We subtly know all its citizens except those needed to serve and care for the guests, and we modeled the biggest houses for the accommodation of those who had peculiar space, shape, or other requirements. Never since the Galactic Federation was founded had so many beings, human, humanoid, semi-humanoid, and non-humanoid gathered at the same place on any one member planet. Every news tape, try-demand, audio, and all the other varieties of information services, even including the drum amplifiers of Maghars and the ray variants of Ebb, applied for, and were granted a place in the courtroom. This, because no other edifice was large enough, was an immense

13:17stone amphitheater, usually devoted to rather curious games with animals. And since it rains on the Axk, only for two specified hours on every one of their days, no roof was needed. At every seat there was a translator phone with interpreters ready and plastic cages to translate the intergalactic in which the trial was conducted into even the clicks and hisses of yorg and the eyeplashes of a monrol. And in the midst of all of this, the cause and purpose of it all sat the legendary Eel. Seeing that last, he was hardly an impressive figure, time it been going on, and the Eel was in his fifties now, bald and a trifle ponchy. He was completely ordinary in appearance, a circumstance which had, of course, enabled him to pass unobserved on so many planets. He looked like salesman or a minor official, and had indeed been so taken by the unnoticine

14:20inhabitants of innumerable planets. People had wondered when word came of some new outrage by this master thief, it perhaps he had disguised himself as a resident of the scene of each fresh crime. But now it was obvious that this had not been necessary. He had been too clever to pick any planet visitors from Earth, who were not a common sight, and he had been too insignificant for anyone to pay attention to him. The criminal code of axk is unique in the galaxy, though there are rumors of something similar among a legendary extinct tribe on Earth called Rwanches. The High Priest is also the chief executive, as well as the Ministry of Education and Head of the Medical Faculty, and he rules jointly with a priestess who also officiates as chief judge. The exchains have some strange ideas to a terrestrial eye, for example, suicide is an honor, and any one of insufficient rank who commits it condemns his immediate family to punishment for his

15:25presumption. They are great family people in general, also they never lie and find it hard to realize that other beings do. Murder to them is merely a matter for a negotiation between the murder rur and the relatives of the victim, provided it is open and without deceit. But grand larceny, since property is the foundation of the family, is punished in a way that shows that the axkins, though technologically primitive, are psychologically very advanced. They reason that death, because it comes inevitably to all, is the least of misfortunes, lasting grief for more some guilt are the greatest. So they let... Hey, it's Kelly Rowland. You may not know this, but I have Exima, so I get how it can still your time. But why let Exima take over when you can talk to your doctor about Epglyss? Epglyss, Lebrichizmab, LBKZ, a 250mg per 2ml injection is a prescription medicine used to

16:31treat adults and children 12 years of age and older, who weigh at least 88lbs or 40kg, with moderate to severe exima. Also called a topic dermatitis that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin, or topicals, or who cannot use topical therapies. Epglyss can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you are allergic to Epglyss. Allergic reactions can occur that can be severe. I problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have newer worsening eye problems, you should not receive a live vaccine when treated with Epglyss. Before starting Epglyss tell your doctor a few of a parasitic infection, paid partnership with Lilly. Respect your time. Ask your doctor about Epglyss and visit Epglyss.com, or call 1-800-LilyRX, or 1-800-545-5979. This week at Vons and Albertsons, USDA Choice Tri-Tip Rose untrimmed are 599 per pound. Limit 4 Rose with membership wear applicable, and medium ripe hassovacados are 99 cents each, with membership wear applicable. Plus Kellogg cereals 8.8 to 16.1 ounces, selected varieties, or peppered farm goldfish, 5.98 ounces are 190-99 each when you buy three.

17:36Limit 3 offers with membership wear applicable. Visit Vons or Albertsons.com for more deals and ways to save. It's fall in Jeep Country, and during the driving to fall sales events, get a great deal on 4x4s that refuse to be contained, like Jeep Wrangler. Confidence built into every drive with the most awarded SUV ever, Jeep Grand Cherokee, and freedom that can't be denied, with the open air freedom and Jeep gladiator. After 85 years, it's no surprise that Jeep became America's SUV brand. Get a great deal during the Jeep driving to fall sales event. Jeep is one more awards over its lifetime than any other SUV brand, Jeep and the Jeep Grill or Registered Trademarks of FCAUS LLC. The thief live and do not even imprison him. Instead, they find out who it is that the criminal most loves. If they do not know who it is, they merely ask you. Since ex-games never lie, you always tell them. Then they seize that person and kill him or her slowly and painfully before the thief's eyes.

18:39The agreement had been that the eel was to be tried and punished by the laws and customs of the planet to which he was awarded. The actual trial and conviction of the eel were almost profoundly. Without needing the resort to torture, his jaylor's had been presented on a platter as it were, with a full confession. So far as the particular robbery he had committed on the eggs was concerned. There is a provision for defense in the ex-gain code, but it was unneeded because the eel had pleaded guilty. But he knew very well he would not be executed by the ex-gains. He would instead be set free, presumably with a broken heart, to be handed over to the next client. And that, the council had decided it would be Madoris. Since Madoris always killed its criminals, that would end the whole controversy.

19:39So the eel was quite aware that his conviction by axque would be only the preliminary tune, explicitly painful and lingering demise at the two clawed hands of the Madorians. His business was somehow to get out from under. Naturally, the resources of the Galactic Police had been at the full disposal of the officials of a faxque. The files had been opened and the axque in said before them the eel's history back to the day of his birth. He himself had been questioned and several agraft hypnotized, doomatized and attracted cycographed, subjected to all means of eliciting information devised by all eight planets. For the other seven, once their first percent was overhead, reconciled themselves and co-operated wholeheartedly with axque. Madoris, especially had been of the greatest help, the Madorians could hardly wait.

20:41In the spate of news of the trial it inundated every portion of the galaxy, there began to be discovered a note of sympathy for this one little creature arrayed against the mightiest powers of the galaxy. Poor people who wished they had his nerve and romantic people who dreamed of adventures they would never dare perform began to say that the eel wasn't so bad after all. He became a symbol of the rebellious individual, thumbing his nose at an entrenched authority. Students of earth prehistory will recognize such symbols in the mythical Robin Hood and Al Capone. These were the people who were glad to put up a win, but this began to be made. At first the odds were tend to one against the eel, then it's time grayed by. They dropped until it was even money. Axque itself began to be worried. It was one thing to make a big,

21:42expensive, splurge to impress the galaxy into hasten its acceptance and to full membership in the Federation, but nobody had expected the show to last more than a few days. If it kept on much longer, axque would be bankrupt. For the trial had foundered on one insoluble problem, the only way the eel could ever be punished by their laws was to kill the person he most loved. And nobody could discover that the eel had ever loved anybody. His mother, his father, he had been an undutiful and unaffectionate son and his parents were long since that in any case. He had never had a brother, a sister, a wife or a child. No probing could find any woman with whom he had ever been in love. He had never had an intimate friend. He did nothing to help, naturally.

22:43He simply sat in his chains and smiled and waited. He was perfectly willing to be escorted from the court every evening, relieved of his fetters and placed in his pits. It was a much pleasanter experience and existence than being executed inch by inch by the madorans. For all he carried the axquins could go on spending their planetary income until he finally died of old age. The priestess judge and her co-agitors wore themselves out in discussions far into the night. They lost up to 15 pounds of peace, which on eggs were the average weight of adults as about 40, or serious. It began to look as if the eel's judges would predecease him. Hume did the eel love. They went into Manushie and subdufuges. He had never had a pet to which he was devoted. He had never even loved a house which could be raised. He could not be said to have

23:49loved the immense fortune he had stolen for. He had concealed his wealth and used the love it. And in any event, it had all been confiscated and so far as possible restored proportionately to those he had robbed. What he had loved most, Dottles, was his prowess in stealing unimaginable sums and getting away with it. But there's no way of killing that criminal technique. Almost a year had passed. Axe was beginning to wish the eel had never been caught, or that they had never been awarded the glory of crying him. At last, the priestess judge in utter despair took off her judge's robes, put on the classic concert plus of her sacred calling, and laid the problem before the most unapproachable and august of the gods of Axe. The trial was suspended while she lay for three days in the trance and the high altar.

24:52She emerged weak and tottering her skin white blue instead of a healthy purple, but her head high and her mouth curved in triumph. At sight of her, renewed excitement surged through the audience. News gatherers would have been finding the difficult of light to get anything to report rushed to their instruments. And the priestess judge ordered in winging tones. Remove the defendant's chains and let him free. The great god of the unsteakable name has revealed to me whom the defendant most loves. As soon as he is freed, see him and slay him. For the only being he loves is himself. There was an instant silence and then a roar, a Madorans howled in frustration, but the eel still guarded, but unchained stood up in

25:58loft allowed. Your great god is a fool. I deny that I love myself. I care nothing for myself at all. The priestess judge signed. Since this is your sworn denial it must be true. So then we cannot kill you. Instead we grant that you do indeed love no one. Therefore you are a creature so far outside our comprehension that you cannot come under our laws no matter how you have broken them. We shall notify the Federation that we abandon our jurisdiction and hand you over to our sister planet which is next in line to judge you. Then all the viewers on Tritomans on countless

27:01planets saw something that nobody had ever thought to see. The eel's armor of self-confidence cracked and terror poured through the gand. He dropped to his knees and cried. Wait, wait, wait. I confessed that I blessed him your god but without realizing that I did. You mean you acknowledge that you yourself are the only being dear to you? No, not that either. Until now I have never known love. But now it has come upon me. Like a nova. I must speak the truth. The eel paused still on his knees and looked piteously at the priestess judge. Are you bound by your law to believe me and to kill

28:06instead of me this being that I adore we are so bound. Well then said the eel smiling and confident again rising to his feet. Well then before all but galaxy I must declare the object of my sudden but everlasting passion. Great lady it is you. The eel is still in his pit which has been made most comfortable by a sympathizers.

29:07While the council of the Galactic Federation seeks feverishly and vainly year after year to find some legal way out of the impasse. Eggs however requests all federation citizens to submit solutions. The grand prize for a workable answer being a lifetime term as president of the planet. A secondary contest prize lifetime ambassador ship to the Galactic Federation is offered for a legal way around the statute barring criminals specifically the eel from entering the primary contest. You've heard a story titled The Eale written by Nareem Hallum de Ford and copy right by

30:19Galaxy Publishing Corporation 1958. This is Michael Hanson technical operation for this broadcast by Steve Gordon. Mindwebs is a production of WHA Radio in Madison a service of University of Wisconsin extension.

31:58It's fall in Jeep country and during the drive into fall sales event get a great deal on four by fours that refuse to be contained like Jeep Wrangler confidence built into every drive with the most awarded SUV ever Jeep Grand Cherokee and freedom that can't be denied with the open air freedom in Jeep Gladiator. After 85 years it's no surprise that Jeep became America's SUV brand get a great deal during the Jeep drive into fall sales event. Jeep is one more awards over its lifetime than any other SUV brand. Jeep and the Jeep Grill register trademarts of FCA US LLC. McDonald's is putting value back on the menu whether you're craving a big mac McNuggets or sausage egg

33:02and cheese McGrittle's make it a meal and save your favorite is now your wallet's favorite too extra value meals are back. Sun rises prices fall get a sausage Mcmuffin with egg or sausage egg and cheese McGrittle's small hot coffee and hash frowns for just fixed stars price and participation may vary promotion pricing may be lower than meal pricing. It's fall in Jeep country and during the drive into fall sales event get a great deal on four by fours that refuse to be contained like Jeep Wrangler confidence built into every drive with the most awarded SUV ever Jeep Grand Cherokee and freedom that can't be denied with the open air freedom in Jeep Gladiator. After 85 years it's no surprise that Jeep became America's SUV brand get a great deal during the Jeep drive into fall sales event. Jeep is one more awards over its lifetime than any other SUV brand. Jeep and the Jeep Grill register trademarts of FCA US LLC.