Mercedes “MJ” Javid: When Your Only Choice Is Divorce

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1:00It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one-of-a-kind index, and lets you backtest it against the S&P 500. Then, you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com slash podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com slash podcast. Paid for by public investing, brokerage services by open to the public investing ink, member FINRA and SIPC. Advisory services by public advisors LLC, SEC registered advisor. Generated assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures available at public.com slash disclosures. Step into the future of music at the 2026 South by Southwest Music Festival in Conference. Returning to Austin March 12-18, join artists, industry leaders, and fans from around the world for seven days of music discovery, connection, and unforgettable live performances. Unlock a 10% discount on your music badge when you use code iHeartMusic. Discover the next big artist at sxsw.com slash iHeart.

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3:09Hey, I do part two. It's Kelly Kohler and Benzmer, one of your celebrity mentors, and today I'm catching up with one of the stars from the Valley Persian style. So she's been stuck in the middle of a lot of conflict on the show this season, and now she's going through a divorce. I can't wait to catch up with her and see how she's coming through this difficult situation. Please help me welcome Mercedes MJ to the pot. Hi, how are you, Kelly? It's good to see you. I know it's so good to see you. I know that you've been going through a lot, but I want to tell you, your show is fantastic, and you are a baller. I'm so proud of you with, you know, changing your narrative, raising your son, you know, everything that you've been through with your ex-husband, we're going to get into that. The real estate business you've been doing so well. I am so proud of you on all fronts. Let's get started. Okay, so this season's been, we've been seeing a lot of things playing out between you and you're soon to be ex-husband, Tommy, and attention with you guys.

4:14Is the crop in the middle of what was that like for you? It's very hard because, you know, we're doing it with this big cast of friends, and instead of six people who are now 12, I find a lot of the episodes to be hard to watch the scenes between Tommy and I. I close my eyes. I turn it off. I just, you know, I was with him for 10 years, married seven, very in love with no intention of following the footsteps of a divorced family. Same age as when my son, as my son is, is when my parents got separated. It's the worst thing ever, and I hated it, and I never really got any closure with Tommy. So we're just a married couple going through communication breakdowns, and then like you always want to have a healthy conversation to follow up things. That's how it feels when you don't get to do that. I really like what you just said about communication breakdowns, and I think that that is such a big, big, big thing that happens in relationships, especially guys have been together for so long, and you've been through so much together.

5:26It's just obviously wildly certain, but this happened at the same time as, you know, your parents, so I'm so sorry for that. So this season, your ex Tommy, he was involved in filming the show less than when you guys were on Shaws of Sunset. Was that an effort to save your marriage? Did he just not want to film? What was what happened? I think he hadn't healed at all from the last time that we were on TV. It was extremely heavy on him because, you know, we just had our baby, and then the falling out with Reza. It just made us, it just gutted him, and then coming back, I think he did want to do the show, but I don't think he wanted to put himself vulnerable for like getting, you know, heard again. I mean, he had to serve time for, I think it was might have just been for a day, to be honest. I don't know if he had to go more than a day. It was probation, sorry, I don't mean to like spread false information, but yeah, that's why he didn't, he's, he's very fragile when it comes to, what am I going to, what's going to happen to me?

6:34I think I was probably afraid too, because I didn't want to have another falling out with Reza or Vanessa. So fear. Again, like another just compliment to you about just being so thoughtful for him and his feelings and how that was going to play out for him. You know, I think, you know, I was going to ask you to the show contribute to your decision to get divorced. I saw you guys in two scenes that were really like pop up scenes. But the first scene was when you guys were on the podcast and just like the back and forth banter seemed difficult, but also you guys were like in that conflict resolution mode, which I really, really loved. But then when I saw you guys at the open house where Tommy wouldn't come in and you're at this open house, you're filming, you've got stress, you're, you know, you've got so many things going on. Trying to, you know, show more feel how great you are, because you are so great. Your open house was amazing. No one comes to an open house, by the way. So that was fantastic.

7:37There was just a lot of variables. And I think you handled that really well. But I could see at that moment, he was just like shutting down. What are your thoughts? Yeah, my thoughts are like, you want to be able to feel love from your spouse. And if the neglect in the isolation outweighs the love and the breakdown, then it just doesn't make sense. If I would have thought that Tommy was willing and open to like working things out, then I wouldn't have had a reason to leave. He's the one that ended the marriage, not me. He's the one that stopped participating and checked out for years. It had, it had just come to a head. I just had to file the paperwork. He was, he was the one that stopped being to me like so many things that he was when we first met 10 years ago. Wow, that's big. Usually it's the woman leaving the man. I mean, it's very unusual that the man like checks out. And you know, the woman has to leave like that. That is, I'm so sorry. I mean, I just have so much empathy for you. Just I feel like we have a lot of similarities in our lives.

8:48And I just know that for my own self, I, you know, broke up with a boyfriend in December because I was going to be filming a new show and I'm just like, I can't, you know, I just can't bring him along. I'm afraid, you know, I mean, I had, I had two very, very bad situations happen when I was filming. And I just was like, I just can't do this. And I'm just like, it's obviously making me emotional right now because like, you know, you do work really hard. And I mean, another moment that really like, I can't even tolerate was like when, you know, like, first of all, having someone pick up your child is one thing, but like not showing up. That really like, and you just kind of going back and figuring saying was 15 minutes was 45 minutes, like, I could see, I could hear the pain in your voice. And I just, I just, I know, I know you're filming a show, but there are moments for the listeners out there that are so wildly real. And that was one of them. Like, because people are like, oh, you're so calm. You're so calm. Like, and I was like, yeah, yeah, because I have had to learn to be home.

9:49There were years when I was reactive and I would cry and I would beg and scream. There were years and, you know, so many Christmases and birthdays and Mother's days and things like that where I was like, well, like, please don't phone it in with me. Like, I care too much. And I had my heart in my hand and I eventually had to harden and put on more of like the brave face and be a healthy mom to your son. And so I shoved everything that I had for Tommy so that I could be positive. And then, you know, here we are. How's the co parenting going? The co parenting. We live a minute away. We see each other and we're both 100% in with sham. She doesn't miss a beat and he gets the best of both of us. And, you know, it's that part is really healthy. Thank God. That is a huge blessing. I never had a co parent. So I don't know. I was like, this co parenting, I'm like, that sounds fantastic. I have no idea what you're talking about. I raised my kids on my own. And I am like, that is just something that like is just like, you know, foreign language to me.

10:54I can't even imagine that because when I'm working and I have days that I come home from work and I am spent especially. Yes, especially at the end of the day, I'm like, I am not capable of cooking a meal. I, you know, it's going to be pizza. It's going to be like take out. And when when you do have somebody and Tommy is a very good father and he's very present, then and he's become more present actually since we separated. So I am extremely grateful for that. I love that. I love it. Who on the cast has been the most supportive during this process? Everybody. I mean, I'm not close with Sky right now, which, you know, I know that she feels like she's a little bit on an island. But I'm really close with, and I feel a lot of love and a support from Natasha and Amir and Resa and Gomez and, and like, they're very, very real. And I've known, we've known Tommy and you know, for 15 years, she just was one of those people that wasn't going to do reality TV.

12:00And I know it's a huge risk. You know that too. But yeah, they're amazing. They are. The whole cast is amazing. The dynamic is unbelievable. And it just to hear your story line is just heartbreaking. I mean, it's just heartbreaking. Have you thought about dating? No, no, no, no, no, I am so actually I feel so distrust distrusting of men. I have zero faith in men. If this is what love is, then no, thank you. I feel so it's been so long since I've been single. I can't even imagine I just feel like I will die a cell of it. Like, lady, maybe if I'm walking out to live to like a 100, you know, for the kid, right? But no, I don't see it. I don't see it being naked in front of anybody ever again.

13:00You look gorgeous. So do not, do not talk about, don't talk like that because that's not fair. And I've seen you on the show and you're gorgeous. You put that makeup like you are. Thank you. You know what I love to do when I feel like I need to be inspired creatively. I refresh my space and make my home the perfect place for me. And I do it with wafer. From furniture and decor to organization solutions and outdoor essentials, wafer makes it easy to find exactly what fits your style and needs. Spring is the perfect time for a refresh. I can't wait to make our outdoor space cozy and wafer has the greatest outdoor furniture and patio decor for any design style. Wafer makes it simple to narrow down exactly what works for your style and budget. I'm also a big fan of reading product reviews when making my decisions. And I love that wafer offers that feature on their items. It's so helpful with thousands of five star reviews. You can shop with confidence on their site.

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15:11On public, you can build a multi-asset portfolio of stock, bonds, options, crypto, and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year, you can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one-of-a-kind index, and lets you backtest it against the S&P 500. Then, you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com slash podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com slash podcast. Paid for by public investing, brokerage services by open to the public investing ink, member FINRA and SIPC, advisory services by public advisors LLC, SEC registered advisor. Generated assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures available at public.com slash disclosures. Ready for seven days of exhilarating cinema? South by Southwest Film and TV festival and conference returns to Austin, Texas, March 12th through 18th.

16:17It's where you'll find your new favorite director and movies everyone will be buzzing about. Join the community of passionate fans, innovative creators, and industry insiders. Unlock a 10% discount on your film and TV batch when you use code iHeartFilm at sxsw.com slash iHeart. Discount a batch price only. Not combinable. Terms apply. So this is a really good question. If you if you do get in a relationship, hypothetically, let's say you start today and you get into a relationship. How important is it for that new partner to get along with your friends? Yeah, it's important because look, people forget this falling out with my husband and I was not because of, you know, him not partying. It's not like that. It's more of like going to weddings by yourself. That shouldn't be a thing. Wanting to play tennis and going on a hike and just experience like, let's go swim in our pool. We have a beautiful pool which in California, as you know, costs a lot of money just to have a pool of running water.

17:24It's a lot. You're husband be like, yeah, I don't want to go swimming. I don't want to go to the beach. I don't want to go to this wedding. All you baby, like that was not fun. So if I were hypothetically with somebody, they would have to not just grit and bear it. Or hopefully I didn't watch that statement, but they really, really just think that grit and bear that you really want to see that as an adventure. Like, hey, this wedding is going to be so boring. Let's get trashed and have the best time ever. Like Bonnie and Clyde, let's have fun. You just want to create memories and I love that. I mean, I had, so I had that relationship with my, with my first and only husband. He was literally gone. I'm the girls. I, you know, I gave birth to my first daughter and he was gone. Like, literally came back like once a month. So, you know, I am so used, I'm so used to being with someone who's not around. And all the members, I was just looking at these memories because I'm, I just sold my department that I'm living in.

18:26And I was looking at all these memories of my girls. And I was saying, these are all of me and the girls. It's a parody of three. I'm like, this is not what I want. This is not my future. So I totally empathize with you. And you're right. Like, you want to create these memories. You want to have a photo album of like, good bad and ugly. Like, you did it together. Luckily, we went to my cousin's wedding. It was a destination wedding. And when I came back and I looked at my camera roll. I was like, you've done bitch. What are you doing here? I literally, you're gonna make me cry. Like, I love, I'm so, I'm like, oh my god. I'm so, I just, I hate this. I hate this. So, okay, you're, you're a fellow. You're you and you're, and now there's a new friend of yours, Brittany Cartwright. She's in the valley. She's a resident. And she's gone through a similar experience. Are you guys talking? Do you guys, because you're both on similar shows? Do you guys have any like connection? Okay. So Michelle and I and Brittany Cartwright and I are definitely overdue for a lunch. I'm very thoughtful. I was on the valley. And we do DM and say like, what are you gonna have lunch?

19:30And, you know, some right now, it's like, it's so painful that I have to push myself to get out there more because between working and then being with the baby, you just want to, you know, he's six, he's always my baby. Right. You want to be able to like, this that I'm doing here today for you is so new. I want to literally carve myself back into my life where I am not putting my hair in the top nod for 45 days in a row. I literally think from December to January, I might have left the house in ways that people would be looking at me going like, is she okay? Like where? It's not okay. It's not okay. And you can't just, you know, do a slick pony to show up. You have to actually feel it inside. So connecting with girls, Brittany and checking in with Michelle and having fun is so important. We need to support and laugh at the, you know, the craziness and, you know, maybe share some cheers. I haven't cried yet.

20:30I met Brittany at swim week at the, you know, the SI show and she is so much fun. Like she is literally hilarious and we had such a good time. I think that you'll like her also because she's very authentic like you are, but she's also just fun. She's smiling and she's just like, I'm trying to get through things. And I think you guys should definitely, if you have the, if you have the opportunity to do that, you should guys should definitely hang out. She's great. I'm going to literally message her right now. She's sunshine and she'll get you whether or not you even meet. She's just got like a very sunny persona. Like we run into each other all the time. Michelle as well from her show. We definitely have intention and should. It's really just being on that like that hamster wheel lifestyle where you're just like busting your ass trying to get from point A to B. That's not cool. That's not a way to live.

21:30We have to change that. We will. Right. And speaking of your top not and your burnout. What are you going to do so that we slick the hair back and we feel good. Like what are you, what are we, what are we doing for, for your self care? So I just did, I'm going to tell you, I just went to one of the moms from my school. She was like, get your ass in here. I'm giving you a signature facial. She laminated my brows. I went to my friends house. She did the hair. I have to do the spray tan. There's nothing that makes me feel quite as good. I'm very fair right now. And I've got like pounds of dark like, you know, bronze on. So that I'm all about a seam room red light therapy. My 45 for muscle tone. And I walk my dog, you know, so I'm just committed to doing more of that.

22:30Do you know the red light therapy? I feel so good. Like I even just put in that mask on for a couple of seconds. I'm just like, whoa, I mean, obviously there are had so many benefits. But I know even for myself, I'm very like, I'm very light sensitive. And I'm just like, when I get light, my body goes. Yes. And then when I have no light, it's like welding. Well, I do the thing. I subscribe to the wake up, open the door, let the sun hit you and get that vitamin D. You have to actually be your skin needs the vitamin D. It's not just your face. And you want to protect your face from sunspots. But yes, this is an 80 degree day in LA. By the way, we have no excuse. So I just have to take more advantage of what we have here. Which I am. But I mean, I literally, I had a care what after I broke it with my boyfriend. I literally had a carried Bradshaw moment and a darkened my hair. And I was like inside, it was like December. And I was like, oh, this is what this is my.

23:32I mean, everything is okay. I am not like that, though, by the way. I'm always like, okay. You know, maybe this isn't right. Okay. I mean, granted ever having a breakup with me. I've always been the one that's like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And this I was just like, no, but I was just like, oh. I've never like thought about going back with someone. Right. No, but I mean, I know that you were when we ran into each other at Jeff's at radio, you were with somebody. And then when it ended, I was like, I wish I should have reached out to you at that time too, because I know it wasn't, it wasn't when you were expecting. That was awful. No one knows what the future holds, but you deserve a weather app that can help. Weather Bug is easy to use and provides forecasts for your every need. From storm warnings to pollen levels, right at your fingertips. Get the fastest local alerts and comprehensive 10-day forecasts wherever you are.

24:33It's hyper-local, real-time customizable alerts. Make sure the weather never takes you by surprise so you can plan every day with confidence. Download the free weather bug app from the App Store today and start getting accurate weather forecasts 24-7. Support for the show comes from public. The investing platform for those who take it seriously. On public, you can build a multi-asset portfolio of stock, spawns, options, crypto, and now generated assets which allow you to turn any idea into an investable index with AI. It all starts with your prompt. From renewable energy companies with high free cash flow to semiconductor suppliers growing revenue over 20% year over year. You can literally type any prompt and put the AI to work. It screens thousands of stocks, builds a one-of-a-kind index, and lets you backtest it against the S&P 500. Then, you can invest in a few clicks. Generated assets are like ETFs with infinite possibilities, completely customizable and based on your thesis, not someone else's. Go to public.com slash podcast and earn an uncapped 1% bonus when you transfer your portfolio. That's public.com slash podcast.

25:34Paid for by public investing, brokerage services by open to the public investing ink, member Finra and SIPC. Advisory services by public advisors LLC, SEC registered advisor. Generated assets is an interactive analysis tool. Output is for informational purposes only and is not an investment recommendation or advice. Complete disclosures available at public.com slash disclosures. Ready to discover what's next? The South by Southwest innovation conference returns to Austin March 12-18. Connect with leaders and visionaries driving the future of technology, design, business, and culture. Experience thought-provoking sessions, hands-on workshops, and networking that sparks collaboration and creativity. Unlock a 10% discount on your innovation batch when you use code iHeartInnovation at sxsw.com slash iHeart. Discount of batch price only, not combinable, terms apply. Wasn't that delicious? So good. Your bill, ladies? I got it. No, I got it. Seriously, I insist. I insist at first. I don't be silly. You don't be silly. People with the Wells Fargo Active Cash credit card prefer to pay because they earn unlimited 2% cash rewards on purchases.

26:36Okay. Rock paper scissors for it. Rock paper scissors. Shoot! No! The Wells Fargo Active Cash credit card. Visit Wells Fargo.com slash active cash, terms apply. Okay, so being... This is not being on your own. Being on our own. Yeah. Being on our own. You know, what's it been like for you? What's... I mean, I know that you've... You're doing some self-care with your friends. You know, have done so many nice things for you, but have you like made over your house? Have you like done something different? Is there anything that you've done for yourself that like... They can help our listeners kind of go through, you know, how to make themselves feel better. You know, because you do look so great. By the way, you look really great. Thank you. I, you know, we moved out of the house that we were married in. I moved into a townhouse, which was the polar opposite vibe. Full of white light.

27:36It was just like the place that I moved into is so bright and high ceilings. And everything that I'm choosing to put in this new home is a very conscious choice of renewal. And I... There were things that I just said, can't come in. They can't go with me. So I purged probably 80% of what we had. I only kept the things that felt 100. And if it didn't like the long, then I just said like, thank you and goodbye. Because I saw Lala Kent when she separated from her marriage, their engagement. And I saw her put like every single piece back into her house. And I was like, that was, that should be there, right? And goodbye to the out with the old and with the new. It's also a huge part of Persian culture is symbolism and how things feel. And, you know, we've all heard of the Marie condo. So it's like when you have to connect with your body, you have to connect with your womanhood.

28:40You have to connect with like the shower is an extra luxurious shower. Like I would slather on everything that made me feel spoiled as possible on a daily basis. Like take time extra extra time. And that is, you know, it's fun. It's fun plants. I actually did that. I put on this like really, really nice lotion today. I was like, you're like, I did that. That's actually good advice for your clients because you can say when they're, when they're, you know, buying or selling that you can say. These are the things that you've done. And this is something that people are always looking for too. They're looking for advice and how to like navigate that next chapter of their lives. And so I, you know, I feel like that's just like such a good, you know, also take away. Before I let you go, I want to ask you about the traders because you were such a superstar on that show. Thank you. Would you ever like want to go back or come back? I mean, is there everybody loves you on traders? Thank you.

29:40The first time is always the best time. I love the experience. I felt like sleep away camp, but I never got to do when I was a kid. But if I were to go back this time, I would really be extra worried about spending time away from my son. I've been, I've been hearing like, maybe there will be an All Stars. I think I would play the game differently in some ways because it is getting like no disrespect. But every season is evolving. There is like a very high level of respect and decorum on the set of traders like with this overseas English production company. They're not as, they don't have tolerance for anything vicious. So I, you know, never say no to the universe, but also like it was, it was a very unique, intensely positive experience. I loved it. I would go on traders with you. We could be like the two peas in a pod. I'd be like, I'm very, I'm very like fluffy bunny.

30:41But then on the inside, I'm super strategic. Right. It's true. And I don't know how you feel about like crawling into dark holes. And, you know, there are a lot of those like, no, me and Fadra Shirei. Even Kevin from Blank Empire, like none of us were willing to go into a pitch black tunnel that had like rats and worms. I don't know what was in there. It was so slimy and it smelled like horse piss. It was a lot. I mean, the horse, the horse piss. I mean, you sue, but like, and I've been in the catacombs, which I was very bougie in Europe. But I am, no, there are certain, I am so, there are certain things I cannot do. That was amazing. I was like, oh my god. I can do anything she can jump from. She's like, they're always like, you're so sporty. I'm like, just because I can run and ride a horse and play a little tennis and hit some golf balls does not make me one to like, you know, jump off a cliff. Like, that's a no. Oh, no, you would repel you because we did the repelling down the line.

31:44We did a lot of like physical things. No, you don't think you can repel. It was the scariest thing. I have like very sensitive hands. So I feel like something. And then you had to like not look down and then I never used a repel before. I was like, what the what happens if I just slide? No, dude, there were a lot of things that were very challenging. But if the I will give props, major props to Trichelle and CT, they did the disgusting things that took 30 minutes like to get through the tunnel. Like, give that up to the challenge people. The Bravo people were making it entertaining. And people were earning the dollars. I guess. The Bravo paper always like, oh my god. Let's talk about it. Exactly. Well, we love you so much. And we I support you. I am here for you. I know this is not the easiest time in your life. But you're doing such beautiful work for your family, for your son, for the fans, for your business, for your ex-husband.

32:46I mean, you're wearing a lot of hats and we're just like we're here for you. And I'm going to speak on behalf of all the fans. We love you. I love you, Kelly. Thank you. I am going to call you. Yes, please do. I'm going to lay a lot. I would love to see you. And I'm here for you. I know that it's not easy. But like, I mean, even like, you know, I talked to Brittany about it. And I've talked to some other, you know, people, you know, Bravo friends. And, you know, they're all like, what happened? And how did you get through it? It's like all of a sudden I, it was like a badge of honor. And now, like, people are like, help me. I'm like, I don't know. But we do. We love you so much. And we're here for you. If that's one of the best things about us being in this Bravo community, we have like this family. We do. We do. With each other, we've got to take advantage of it. And the show, the Valley Person Style is fantastic. Thank you. It is fantastic. I hope everything works out with the friend group. I am like, literally watching. And cannot wait to hear more and more and more about what happens.

33:46Thank you, honey. See you soon. Bye. Bye. Bye. Are you single? And in your chapter two, I need some advice. Call us or email us. All the info is in the show notes. Follow us on socials and make sure to rate and review the podcast. I do part two in iHeartRadio podcast where falling in love is the main objective. No one knows what the future holds, but you deserve a weather app that can help. Weather bug is easy to use and provides forecasts for your every need. From storm warnings to pollen levels, right at your fingertips. Get the fastest local alerts and comprehensive 10-day forecasts wherever you are. It's hyper-local, real-time customizable alerts. Make sure the weather never takes you by surprise so you can plan every day with confidence. Download the free weather bug app from the app store today and start getting accurate weather forecasts 24-7.

34:49When Kohler Global Design Leader in luxurious kitchen and bath products asked me to be their ambassador for timeless elegant durable cast iron, I said, I'm in. Soon after I was in their Kohler Wisconsin foundry, watching molten iron poured, a mammal applied by hand, and the beautiful finished pieces ready to ship. Since 1883 Kohler Test Iron has been crafted by incredible artisans and seeing it firsthand gave me a whole new appreciation for their craftsmanship. Now I'm proud to lend my staff of approval to my favorite Kohler Test Iron products for their durability, beauty, and enduring style. Shop my curated picks at Kohler.com. As the Kohler Test Iron Ambassador, I say, Long Live Test Iron. Step into the future of music at the 2026 South by Southwest Music Festival in conference. Returning to Austin, March 12-18, joined artists, industry leaders, and fans from around the world for seven days of music discovery, connection, and unforgettable live performances.

35:57Unlock a 10% discount on your music badge when you use code iHeartMusic. Discover the next big artist at sxsw.com slash iHeart. Discount on badge price only, not combinable, terms apply. I'm U.S. Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy. The sound of a seat belt is one of the most important sounds in our car. It means everyone is ready and everyone is safe. The more our kids see us put on our seat belts, the more natural it is for them to put theirs on two. Make it a priority. Buckle up every time. Hear the sound. Make it a habit. Paid for by Nitsa. This is an iHeart Podcast. Guaranteed Human.