Losing Everything to Bipolar and Laughing His Way Back

0:00What if the thing that's breaking you could also be the thing that heals you? If you could just learn to laugh at it. By guess today had it all and then he lost it all. His business, his stability, years of his life, to mental illness. Fourteen years, hiding in the shadow, suffering and silence at the lowest convinced there was no way out. He took a comedy class and then everything changed. Today he is a best-selling author and a comedian who teaches others to find humor in their hardest moments. And he has lived and proved that even in the darkness place that there's hope, that there is a way through. And this conversation might be the one thing that you hear today that you need to get you through it. Now my guess today he has one of the most inspiring stories of healing that I've ever come across. And he tells it would a remarkable honesty and humor. Dave Maury lives in a bipolar disorder and he has severe anxiety.

1:00He's open about it and he has a hard chapter where his mental illness costs him nearly everything. But his story is one of hope. Today he is a best-selling, award-winning author. He teaches stand-up comedy to people living with mental illness and he performs on stage helping people find humor in their pain. Shatter stigma and know that they're not alone. His books include OMG, that's me and healing with humor. Dave welcome to the show. I am so excited to have you here. Thanks, Daisy. I'm really glad to be here. Thanks for having me. I think this is something that we all need to hear and remember. Now Dave, you've been so open about it. Haven built a successful life and then watching mental illness take it. I want you to honor your story. So share whatever feels right. Do take us back that time so we can understand more about you and what was going on? Sure. I was a successful businessman.

2:02We had, seemed like we had it all. I remember we were on vacation and we were sitting on a deck overlooking a lake and thinking to myself and maybe I said it out loud to my wife. We made it. We made it. We're in a good spot. We don't have financial problems. We've got a great family. We have a nice house. We have friends. This is it. We made it. And then it wasn't more than it was less than a year later driving down the freeway between two of my businesses. And my mind was racing. I was under a lot of stress and my mind just snapped. I felt it. It was like an electric shock in my brain. It's like I could hear the snap and my muscles in my face went slack. My voice went monotone. My vision went blurry. And it was everything I could do to get home and to get into bed and just try to just hold it together and just to be.

3:02And that began my, I call my 14 last years. My, my, my doubt days where I couldn't interact socially with people. I couldn't work. We lost the businesses. We lost our house. We were homeless with the kids for 18 months. The depth, the darkness, the sense of loss, the sense of failure, the sense of shame, the sense of everything was just incredibly awful. And like I said, it was, if I did get out of bed, I, it was everything I could do. Get downstairs to the couch, sit on the couch, breathe and hold it together and just, just be. And I prayed for peace of mind that, and the peace of mind didn't come for years and years and years. Now for someone who has never experienced it, what was it actually like living in those years, hiding it, suffering and silence, trying to see more K and find people? Boy, I tried to see more K and front of people. It's awful. Pretending, pretending was awful, pretending, and I was not pretending to be somebody else.

4:06I was just pretending to be okay. It was exhausting. It was totally exhausting. But what it, what was it like? It was constant. I'd hear a song on the radio and it would remind me of something having to do with our success or our business. And then I'd go back to the trauma of losing it and I'd go relive that trauma and have a PTSD. And that would happen three, maybe four times a day. It would just, and I'd go, I'd just sink into the dark, deep dark depression. I couldn't go to the mailbox because if I went to the mailbox, I might see a neighbor and they might look at my eyes and see the emptiness or the loss or whatever it is in the eyes because you can see in the eyes. So if I did go to the mailbox, I went to the mailbox at night. If there was a knock on the door, I'd go into an anxiety attack, if the phone rang, I'd go into an anxiety attack. I couldn't be present for my kids, which was, I think of all the hard times and all the

5:10challenges. And there's sadness and darkness. But when I think of the kids, that's when the tears come. We were homeless. At one point, we're living in the basement of a friend's, some friend's house and the kids slept on air mattresses and an alcove under the stairs. We didn't have a Christmas. We didn't have room for a tree. So we decorated a chair and put the few presents we could afford, enter the chair and on the chair. And just not being able to just suffering in silence, I felt so alone. I'd see people who were interacting with other people and smiling and talking and I just couldn't do it. I just couldn't do it. And so I felt so alone and I felt like nobody understood. I had suicidal ideation. I thought a suicide. I had one time, there's a park not far from our house. It's about 10 miles. And I went out and I had a gun and I sat on the park bench and I remember watching the, there was a river watching the sun going off the river.

6:12I think it was fall and I sat there and and you know, I didn't do it. I think because of my family, I didn't do it, but I didn't do it. But that's where I was with the darkness. If I did see anybody and if somebody came up and talked to me, God forbid they came up and talked to me. I'd answer in one word, one syllable. I'd say yes, yes, no, no. And try to escape. It was everything I could do not to just turn and run away. And as soon as I could, I remember a family function where there were people and people wanted to talk to me and I just had to escape and I went to the car and I laid the seat down in the car and I just, again, just tried to breathe. Just tried to hold it together. Just tried to be. It was awful. I think I can talk about how it was. But when you're in that depth, it's really impossible to talk about how deep and how dark it really is. And somebody folks who are listening, some of the folks who are listening have been there.

7:15Some maybe are there. I just like to say to them, you're not alone. I was so alone. I was so alone in the darkness. I wasn't alone. I had my wife and I had my kids, but I was so alone in the darkness. For the folks listening, you're not alone. Other people live with us. You don't know it. You don't see it because it's invisible, but other people are living with it. So true. And you describe years lost to the some generally dark days and then something shifted. Without going anywhere that you don't want to, what were the hardest years like and what did you go through them? I think the hardest years were not being able to get out of bed, not being able to interact with the kids. I was an active dad. My kids were young. I'd get home from work and we'd play and wrestle and I'd read them stories and we were just very active. And after I had my break, the interaction I'd have with them was them coming up to the

8:16bed and jumping over me on the bed and me trying to smile and laugh and interact with them. That was hard. That was extremely hard. I think I have to say my wife is a hero in my story. She stayed with me. We lost everything. We were homeless. And she didn't think of leaving. We lost everything and she stayed with me. If she hadn't done that, I'd still be living in a single room occupancy hotel in Old Town here in Portland. And I'd be one of the people who were sitting on the sidewalk. When I was in the car, we were in the car in downtown one day and my wife was driving and I looked at the folks. We drove through Old Town. I looked at the folks sitting on the sidewalk leaning up against the building or just wandering and I looked at their eyes and it was a tough realization. But that was me. Right. That was me. And I was just fortunate enough that my wife didn't leave me and she was there to support

9:20me. She walked you. Yeah. And she wasn't for the money. It wasn't for the house. It wasn't for these things. It was it was love. Yeah. Now you said things began to turn like what started to change for you? My wife's out in the newspaper for there was a meeting for Nami, which is a national alliance. I met a Loonis. They have local chapters and they had a chapter in our county. She saw the lad and she urged me to go and so I went. I parked in the parking lot. It was a church and in a church basement. I parked in the parking lot and cut. Yeah. That myself. I sat there for about 20 minutes before I could go in. I just gathered myself. Yeah. I needed to be invisible. I needed not to have anybody talk to me. And so I went in and they said, hi, but they didn't ask me anything else. They didn't ask me why I was there. They just were smiled and said, hi. And I went and I sat in a chair in the back and somebody told their story.

10:21And I realized I wasn't alone. And I didn't say anything to anybody. And I went home and I went back the next month and the next month. And so I think that was the turning point for me was, was realizing that I wasn't alone and seeing other people that were living with it. In that meeting, other folks were there with a mental illness and they were okay. They were okay. And so I thought, maybe I'll be okay too. You know, this is the turning point and I love it because you took a stand up comedy class for people with mental illness. What made you walk into that class and what happened when you did? Well, when I was in the hospital for quite some time after my break. And what was great about being in the psych, you know, was, was nobody could see me unless I had them on the list. The only person I had on the list to see me was my wife. So I was safe, you know, I was safe.

11:21But when I was in the psych unit, I came up with a joke and the joke is, you're ready? Do you know why they keep the doors locked to the psychiatric unit? Why? There's so many people trying to get in. So it was true, essentially. Well, it's not the reason they keep the door locked, but there are so many people trying to get in. So I had the joke and I thought it was funny. So again, the county behavioral health folks brought a stand up comedian in town to town to teach a stand up comedy class to folks with mental illness. And as David Griniar was a stand up for mental health and he came in and he did a little performance beforehand and Heather took me to that. My wife Heather took me to that. And I was listening to him and I was thinking, my joke is funny. It's his jokes. And so again, Heather's urging I went in. I signed up and I took it to the other class. So that's why that's how it evolved. It's like, I thought my joke was funny. So I think I was intrigued.

12:22I thought I can do that. I love that. Now, how did learning to find the humor in your own experiences actually changed the relationship with your illness and with yourself? Looking for the humor in the dark has changed everything for me. Like I said, I hear a song in the radio. It would take me back to a dark place and I'd relive the trauma having anxiety attack or a full blown panic attack with sweating and blurry vision and all those things. And so he and it turned out for the comedy class finding humor in the darkness. I was able to find places where there was potential for humor. And then I was turned out I had an act for writing jokes that were funny. They were laugh out loud funny and I ended up writing jokes for myself, but also helping other people in the class write jokes. And so it was identifying the places for the humor and then and then looking for the humor in that darkness. And when after the class or during the class, when I heard that song in the radio,

13:26the triggered me to go into that dark place, that trauma and said, going into that dark place, I said, work and I find the humor in that. And it changed the way I thought, it changed the pathways of my brain. It changed the way I thought it reframed my brain and took me to a different place. And it's truly amazing what your mind can do, how you can reframe thoughts and reframe things and create new pathways in the brain. And so that's what happened to me. And I started being able to live and get past the trauma. And the trauma, the dark day, the last years, it was all a material for humor. And they say the more challenges you had, the more material you're having for humor. I had lots of material for humor. Now for the listeners out there, if you or someone you love is struggling, please hear this. You are not alone and help is always available. In the US, you can call or text 988, the suicide and crisis life, find any time, any day or

14:33night. Stay with us because there is so much hope in the rest of this conversation. Follow the advisor with Stacy Cholenni to hear more stories that remind us of that healing is possible. Now you built your whole mission around this idea that finding humor in our pain helps us heal. Why does humor work? I think as far as for me and with folks with mental illness, because like I said, of reframes, you're thinking, it changes your thinking. We have sadness because of the loss that if we can find humor in somewhere and the loss, it takes away the sadness. And in the classes that I teach, there's a guy named Molly. And Molly was a doctor. All she ever wanted to do was be a doctor and practice in her hometown. And she was a doctor. She went through med school and a residency and she was a doctor. And then she had to give it up. She couldn't perform. She couldn't practice medicine because of her mental illness.

15:36So she lost everything. She came to a class I taught and her mom brought her and mom said Molly's suicidal. She's lost everything. She's out of hope. Maybe this can help. And so Molly was in the class and we started finding humor and Molly's experiences. And when Molly's jokes is a little, did I know going through medical school that the MD after my name was going to stand for manic depressive? So Molly took her darkness in her challenges and she found humor and she wrote jokes. And now Molly is a comic and she performs around town. And instead of seeing herself as a failed doctor, she sees herself as a comic and she's got a purpose and she's making a difference in people's lives. So that's the power of comedy. That's the power of humor. That's what happened with me. That's what happened with Molly. That's what happened with it. Folks can find humor in their darkness. It doesn't matter. And in the comic classes, we go everywhere. We talk about suicide.

16:36We talk about loss. We talk about like with bipolar disorder, you have, when you're manic, you have sexual ideation and oftentimes there's promiscuity. And that's not something people talk about. But we talked about all those things and we go to the darkest places. It's a combination of support group and comedy group. So we get those things out and we are related to each other and we could open up and truly talk about the darkness. I talked about things I never talked about before and we never talk about again. And then looking for the humor in it makes it livable. Oh yeah. Now what does laughing at our hardest experiences actually do for us? It releases endorphins in our brain, laughing out loud, truly laughing. I remember the first time I laughed after 14 last years. I and I hadn't, I didn't realize I hadn't laughed. But I remember the, the first time I really laughed, a real belly laugh.

17:38And it was so just I could feel such a difference to endorphins. And it felt good and it got the negativity out. And so laughing at our, it changes how we feel, physically how we feel in our brain. It helps us. Laughter is just amazing. It's an amazing. Laughter is great medicine. Yeah. It definitely is. And to be clear, this isn't about making light of real suffering. Is it? No, it's not. We, we don't make light of anything because with humor, you can go and you can get some lightness and the lightness really is a benefit for folks that hear it. But if I tell my story, one joke at a time and my jokes are based in reality, one of my wife's favorite jokes and one of the favorite jokes when I perform is a joke about suicide. And it's a gentle suicide joke. When people hear there's just this half a beat and then they just start laughing.

18:42And what it does is it takes us, it takes that suicide and people in the audience who've had suicide litigation to thought about it. It's a huge relief to take it out and put it up front and see it and then to be able to laugh. But all is if it's okay, I'll share my gentle suicide joke. Please. All right, during my dark days, one day when things were really, really bad, I decided to end it all. So I went up into the bathroom and I took a bunch of pills. Afterwards, I called my wife for help. She said there are more pills under the sink. I know. We're fine. So if I mean, it's based in the fact that, yeah, I was suicidal. I had my dark days. I was suicidal. So I was there. But then you take it and you find the twist, the humor. So in that sense, maybe it's a little, little making a little light of it, but not really, you know, not really. And the response from people in the audience, they came up after the show and they just, they're so thankful that I told that joke and brought it out and that they could hear it.

19:47Just hearing it and getting suicide out instead of buried deep down within us. Makes a difference in people's lives. 100%. Now, what's the difference between laughing at your pain and dismissal? I think dismissing it, at least in my mind for me was burying it. I'd feel it when I started to heal the, I'd feel pain. It would come up. It would well up inside me and I'd, I'd try to bury it, just try to get past it. And so I think to dismiss it in that regard. And I wouldn't do anything with it. I wouldn't do anything with it. And so with, with the humor and the comedy, you do something with it. You take it and you turn it around. When you're looking for writing jokes about a particular thing, you, you take it out and you think about it, you turn around, turn it around and you look at it from a whole bunch of different angles. And just doing that is healing. Just doing that is amazingly healing. And then to be able to find some humor in it, then makes it, it just changes everything.

20:54It makes it livable. Next time I had one fellow that I worked with, I was with Nami. I told you about going to the first class or the first meeting. And then I ended up being a peer support specialist at Nami and working with other folks with a mental illness, which was incredibly healing and helpful for me as well. But I had a fellow who was suicidal and he came in and we talked and I told him that joke. And his whole demeanor changed, everything changed. And we were able to take the suicide, his thoughts, what he was thinking, why he was taking, how he was going to do it. If he did commit suicide, he completes his, how is he going to do it? You know, what was he going to do? And so we took it out. We looked at all the things and I told him to joke, his whole demeanor changed. His parents abroad him and he was selling and dark and monotone and really just in a deep, dark place. And afterwards he came out and he was smiling and talking and his parents had no idea, couldn't figure out what the heck happened.

21:56And I made him promise to come back the next day and then the next and then the next. And we got through that those dark days and hard times for him. But the comedy, the humor, yeah, instead of just missing our feelings and our darkness and our challenges, it gets it out and we look at it in all sorts of different ways. Yeah, for sure. Now you teach others to do what saved you and now you're breaking it down, you're breaking the stigma while you're at it. Like tell us about the people you teach and what happens when someone finds the courage to tell their story on stage. I think when I say that I teach, stand up comedy to folks with a mental illness, people envision different things. They think these people aren't capable or unable or are terribly broken. Most folks with a mental illness with mental health challenges are just regular people. They're like you, they're like me. They're like the folks in your audience. They just have a mental health challenge.

22:57So these folks who came in, they were at different places in their recovery or in their lives with mental health challenges, but they're just regular people. And it's interesting oftentimes somebody would come into a class and they'd say, I want to be in the class. I heard about the class and I want to do this. And I want to try and find humor in my challenges, but I'm never going to get up on stage and perform. I'm just not going to do that. And I say that's fine. Success is just being here. You don't have to perform. And then after going through the class and we find humor and the darkness and we find humor in their challenges and the jokes are laugh out loud, funny. They're just laugh out loud, funny and people end up laughing at their jokes and healing through the humor. And then they perform. Because they want other people, they like their jokes. They want to tell their jokes to other people. And so people get up on stage and perform. And then the first thing they say when I come back off stage is, when can I do it again? And it's when you tell you story when joke at a time, you're completely with the humor that we do that I do.

24:00It's completely open and honest, completely open and honest. And so I talk about my anxiety. I talk about just bad everything. It's completely open and honest. We tell our story at one joke at a time. It's dealing for us, but it makes a difference for people that are in the audience and laughing along with us. Yeah. Along that. Now why is shattering the stigma around mental illness so important to you? And what do you wish more people understood about living with it? I think when I was finally diagnosed with bipolar disorder, which took years, years and years and years, I go to the psychiatrist and when I was depressed, you could see that my voice was monotone. I was low. I was down. She could see that. But when I was manic, I was just doing okay and I was talking and I was fine. And so she didn't see the mania. And it took a long time to get diagnosed. But when I did get diagnosed, my wife told some neighbors and some people and some friends. I wouldn't tell anybody about my wife did.

25:01And people disappeared from our lives. I had friends, some of my kids' friends, their parents wouldn't let them come over to our house and play. So they have this vision of maybe we're dangerous, maybe we're, you know, who knows? So shattering the stigma to let people know that we are regular people. So we have our lives. We just have particular challenges. We're not dangerous. I think that's what motivates me to help shout out of the stigma. The people I work with, more of my career, my work, host my 14 last years. And about six years ago, I got hired as an executive director of a Nami affiliate, large Nami affiliate here in Oregon. And the work with people who are discriminated against and who aren't given the opportunities that they deserve to be given. And so I see them and shattering the stigma is important. And I'm doing it for them and for myself and for all the other people that live with the mental health

26:05challenge. I mentioned the mania. I have a joke because when I was in my dark case, I write if I tell you another joke. Of course. I was in my dark days and one of the chapters in my book, it's interesting my book, OMG, that's me, it talks about what it's truly like to live with the mental illness. I describe it my experience and I write about it as if it's happening now. And that's why it's been a bestseller and resonated with so many people because then they read it and realize they're not alone and say, OMG, that's me. But one of the chapters is not knowing which me is going to wake up in the morning. And that was one of the hardest things. You know, was I going to wake up and be able to get out of bed? Was I going to wake up and feel okay? But the joke is that I finally figured out how to tell if I'm depressed or if I'm manic because I'm deep when I'm depressed, I spend all day trying to get out of bed. And when I'm manic, I spend all day trying to get my wife into bed.

27:11Now your core message is one of hope and I want to give it to the room. For someone who is in the middle of their darkest chapter right now, what do you want them to know? I want them to know that there is darkness and there is deep, deep depression, there is sadness, there is all these things, there is loss. It's really important to resign ourselves to the fact that that's always how it's going to be. We can accept our situation without resigning ourselves to it. I call it acceptance without resignation. But we do come out the other side. It doesn't seem like it right now in the darkness, but we do come out the other side. And we are able to, when we come out or stronger, people think folks with a mental illness, especially people in the helping professions, then have the savior complex. They think we need to be protected from orders like don't say crazy because you might trigger somebody with a mental illness and that's so ridiculous.

28:14We talk about being crazy and we laugh about it. But people in the helping profession oftentimes see us as weak, but we come out and we're strong. Some of the strongest people in the world are people who have been through the darkness who have had their lives shattered, who have lived through these challenges and come out the other side. When we come out the other side, we're stronger. And we're braver and we deserve to have confidence and to pat ourselves on the back and say, good job, you did it. You made it. You didn't give up. And one of the most important things for me that helped me was to remember not to get stuck. And I've always had it in my life, whether it be what kind of music I had listened to or what I did for a career or whatever, don't get stuck, but living in the darkness and whatnot, don't get stuck. For me getting out of bed and getting to the couch was a big accomplishment.

29:14I'm taking a shower. I don't know. I thought it was mental illness. I mean, living with deep dark depression, we don't shower. It's just too much. We just can't. And people listening who have depression live with it, understand that. It's just then they're smiling right now because yeah, we just don't. I went weeks and maybe longer without showering. I was just too much. But when I did get out of bed and go downstairs, when I could, I'd sit in a different place. I'd sit in a different chair. I'd sit on a different spot on the couch. Maybe that's all I could do, but that was my accomplishment for the day. That was me not getting stuck. And then as I got better, I did other things so I didn't get stuck. And to this day, I take my pills. I have my pills lined up. I take my mental health medications, which have hugely helped my life. And I've got them lined up. And I'll take it from left to right

30:15one day. I'll take them from right to left another day. I'll take an inside out, the middle one first, the one on the left and then one in the end and then another middle one just to not get stuck. And you don't have to get stuck. We do come out the other side and keep trying. Even trying, trying to sit in a different place than the couch is trying. And we keep trying. Eventually, we do come out the other side. So we've talked about acceptance without resignation and not getting stuck. And we talked about what it meant. So where does someone begin in your opinion? I think for me, I went through all the stages of grief. So I think that's in the very beginning, that's where it starts is we grieve what we've lost and just feel it on or live with it. It's okay. Don't push it away. Don't bury it. If you have that grieving feeling accepted and realized that it's just part of the process.

31:17And then keep trying. Acceptance, I think, is the other important thing except that we have a mental health challenge. I think that's the next step is to accept that we have a mental health challenge. And then when we accept that, you're not alone. There is health, there is hope. You do come out the other side. So I think that's in the beginning where we start as we start by honoring the feelings, allowing ourselves to grieve. And then slowly working through the process. I love that. Now someone listening right now who is struggling and maybe hiding it, maybe it's offering in silence the way you once did, maybe convinced that it will never get better. What do you want them to know? I want them to know that it does get better. My story is one of terrible sadness and loss 14 years of not being able to interact socially 14 years of hiding in the shadows, 14 years of suffering and silence. And I came out the other side slowly, gradually.

32:21And it's going to happen. And when we do come out the other side. And for someone who has had the suicide litigation. And frankly, in all the comedy classes, everybody in the comedy classes that I thought it had some kind of suicide litigation, it just happens when you have a mental health challenge. Right. And so you're not a bad person for having those thoughts. But if somebody's thinking about acting on it, it's a permanent solution to a temporary problem. And I was asked by somebody about what would I have be different? I would like to have not gone through this and not have the breakdown. And that would have been great. But then coming out the other side, having the understanding and compassion of being there and being in the darkness and having those challenges. And then being able to make a difference in other people's lives, I wouldn't trade that either. So yeah, obviously, what did that? Now, you created two great books. And I think they're amazing.

33:25Now, can you tell us about each book and your latest book? Sure. Well, in the first book, OMG, that's me by politisolar depression anxiety panic attacks. And as I mentioned, is what is truly like to live with a mental illness? If you want to realize that you're not alone, or if you want a loved one or a friend or a therapist or a counselor or anybody to know what is truly like to live with a mental illness, OMG, that's me is the is the book. People in the helping professions oftentimes read about it and they read about these are the five symptoms. Then this is the diagnosis. But they don't understand what is truly like to live with a mental illness. So people buy the book and they give it to their counselor or therapist or psychiatrist to read to say, this is me. This is what's actually happening. So for somebody who wants to realize they're not alone, there's a chapter on not being able to shower, but to share with other people. So they know what is truly like to live with a mental illness. That's the book. And I think that's why it's

34:28been a bestseller. The new book is Healing with Humor. Mental illness to mental health, one laugh, one joke, one inspiring story of the time. And it's a story of six people, including myself, who have gone through the comedy classes and who have found humor in their stories. And written jokes and performed and healed through the comedy by laughter and by finding humor in their stories. And it's inspiring because you read about Lorraine. Lorraine is 70 years old. She'd been in the state hospital six times. She'd suffered sexual abuse. She'd had such a challenging life. But here she was up on stage at this point telling jokes and sharing her humor. And it's just a truly, you're rooting for Lorraine. It's just a truly inspiring story. You read about Molly and being a doctor and her challenges and things. And then in the book, we include the comics jokes. So you can read the jokes. And the audiobook is going to be out soon

35:34and the audiobook. I can say confidently. It's really, really, really good because we're able to cut in people from their performance on stage. So you can hear them telling their joke. And you can hear the audience laughing. And it just makes it come alive. So the audiobook is just amazing. So the book is about six people who have, whose life been touched by mental illness. It's their story. And then it's their healing, their comedy, their jokes, their humor and the transformation that happened in them. So it's different, but it's great. And if you want to find humor, if you want to read about humor, if you want to read jokes or find about humor or inspiring stories, that's a great book. So you can pick up both and then you'd have both sides. Around that. Now where can people find your book? Amazon.com. And then you can order it online through other booksellers. So Amazon is where you can

36:38find the books. Also my website, DaveMaurie.com, DaveMOWRY.com has links to the books and has a little more information about me. And also it has a clip of me performing on stage. So people can click that. I think it's a six minute clip of me performing on stage and telling my jokes. So there's that on my website, but either Amazon.com or DaveMaurie.com. I love that. Now from our conversation today, if there was one thing that you want people to remember and walk away with, what is something that you would like people to grasp from our conversation today? I think a few things. When you're not alone, to you no matter how dark it is, you do come out the other side. So keep trying. And those of us who have been through these challenges, who live with mental health challenges, we're strong, we're brave, we're courageous. We've suffered through things that most people never will know with the darkness and the deep challenges and we're

37:40strong and we're brave. And to internalize that and to realize that, yeah, but you're strong, you're brave. And if you're in that darkness, you do come out the other side. I love that. Now DaveMaurie's story reminds us of something powerful that even after losing everything, even in the darkest years, healing is possible. And sometimes it starts with something as unexpected as a laugh. Say, I want to thank you so much for being on this show and for sharing your honesty, for sharing your humor and for sharing your hope and giving others hope. And he please tell people where they can find your website again. It's DaveMaurie.com, DaveMOWRY.com. I want to thank you so much for sharing your story today. I don't think sometimes people realize how hard it is to retell a story that has so much emotion, so much pain that you went through. And some of the deepest, darkest things that you want to win life and how you overcame them.

38:43And sometimes when we share it over and over again, it gets easier and easier to tell. But it still brings up the emotions to the surface. And it's not as easy as people think. And you're here today and you shared your story to help others. And that to me is very courageous. And I just want to thank you for coming on our show for sharing your story with the hopes of healing others. And I just think you're a remarkable individual. And thank you so much for sharing your story. And for taking something that happened to you and now using what you've got through in life and the things that you've done to overcome a lot of the trauma that you went through to share with others and with the hopes of helping others so they don't get stuck and they don't go through a lot of the things you went through. And if they are going through it, you're trying to show them how to overcome it. And I just want to say you're a remarkable individual. And I thank you so much again for being on the show. And I respect you. And I give you kudos for everything you're doing.

39:46Humor is the best medicine. I must say I agree with you 100%. And thank you so much once again for being on our show. And for everyone who's listening, if you're struggling, please reach out. You can call or text 988 anytime. You're not alone. Your story isn't over. And there is hope. And I just want to thank you so much again for coming on the show. You're a very special individual. Thank you, Stacey. I appreciate it. And thanks for all you do. And thank you for all you do. You have a great day. You do.