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Daily TV Mass — Lenten Retreat Day 16: Deacon Robert Kinghorn. Machine-transcribed; use the interactive transcript above to jump the player to any line.
The National Catholic Broadcasting Council presents, let us reflect together, 40 days of lent retreat from the cross to hope. Day 16, stories from the church on the street, faithful presence with Deacon Robert Kinghorn. On Palm Sunday, we followed Jesus on his triumphant journey into Jerusalem for the people received him as a king and a hero, but he knew what awaited him, and he always trusted in his father's love as he made his way to his death on the cross. Jacob Waldron has an article on the internet entitled Church's Heart where he writes, Church's heart for the person walking through the doors afraid of judgment. Church's heart for the prodigal soul returning home,
broken and battered by the world. Church's heart for a teenage girl, ashamed of her mistakes. I thought of this saying, as I passed a salvation army shelter, where I always have to weave my way through rockest groups, chatting with some and avoiding the fights of others. In a small doorway, a lady had taken up residence with her paltry belongings strewn around. Hi, I said, my name is Robert. How are you this evening? Well, I'm good, she said. You can call me Chilly. It's my street name. The following week, I met her again in a doorway. As we spoke her life unfolded in a mixture of hope and despair. Chilly began to tell me her story. I grieve for my son who was taken from me when he was only nine years old.
He's not in a good place now, and there's nothing I can do. I was clean for seven years back then, but I couldn't handle my grief and I relapsed badly. I wanted to draw attention to the grief of people in these streets. Chilly continued to share. You see, these stars are there on the sidewalk beside us? I did that. I drew one star for everyone I know who has died in the street, so they will be remembered. As I looked, I could see about twenty stars disappearing into a distance on the sidewalk. One evening, she saw me approaching completely soaked in the pouring rain, who she was sitting once again in the doorway, where we often met. Her small space now serving as our only shelter. You're going to drown out there, she said,
come on in here, sit next to me. I stepped up into her house, and we sat shoulder to shoulder out of the rain. What are you writing in the book there, I asked her? Oh, that's my spiritual writing. I write the things that come into my mind. Do you want to read what I've just written? It was clear from the flow of this scrambled words on the page that she was longing for hope in her life. I told her that I was always pray for her to find hope. You're a good person, I whispered. These were the last words I spoke to her. It was about ten months since we first met. As usual, towards the end of the evening, I walked down to meet her in the doorway. But even from the distance, I could see there was something wrong. Someone had drawn one large star,
and in the middle of it was a single word, chilli. I turned to a man in the doorway and asked him the question, to which I already guessed the answer. Where's chilli? He turned and slowly pointed to the sky. I looked at the last star in the sidewalk, and I prayed, chilli, I put this street ministry into your hands. Let your spirit guide me in the days ahead. Pray for me, chilli. Amen. Within a week, the doorway where we first met had been washed clean. All of chilli's spiritual writing had been washed away, as if it never existed. You see, society would rather pretend that we don't have homeless problems. We do not have a drug problem. The words of a beautiful folk song came to my mind.
The truth of his story is written in chalk and ear before the flood. I turned, and like a disciple's making a way to a mess, I wanted to be alone with my thoughts. She was a beautiful and gentle soul, who's passing left avoiding my life. Father Greg Boyle once asked the question, can we stay faithful and persistent in our fidelity? When things seem not to succeed, we must hold on to tenderness. Love is the answer. Community is a context, and tenderness is a methodology. My only comfort was that for ten months that I had known her, she knew that she was loved unconditionally. As Jacob Waldron wrote, church is hard because on the outside it all looks shiny and perfect.
But even on the hard days, church is a refuge for broken hearts. And when I walk back in, afraid and broken, I remember that God has never failed to meet me there. I leave you with the words that Chile once wrote in the wall of her doorway. Seven angels know my name. Six angels show me another way. Five angels protect me day by day. Four angels teach me how to laugh and play. Three angels support me all the way. Two angels guide me every day. One angel loves me in all my ways. Today they all told me, I am the angel that got away. So long, Chile, until we meet again, you touched my soul. Join us tomorrow for the Sunday TV Mass.
Join us Monday 4, day 17, journey with the Holy Family, the Yes of Mary, with Father Tom Lynch. For more information, please email us at info at mcbc.ca, visit our website at dailytvmass.com, or call our office toll free at 1-888-383-6277. For information on how to order, Deacon Roberts' latest book, The Church on the Street, Ministry of Presence, email us at info at mcbc.ca.
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