King John and the Abbott

0:00This is Matt Rogers from Lost Culture East. It's with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. This is Bowen Yang from Lost Culture East. It's with Matt Rogers and Bowen Yang. You know when people try a new food and suddenly it's like, OK, hold on. I got a new favorite food. That's the reaction a lot of people are having when they first try Cupid Mayon. Yeah, it's the one with the red cap and the little baby on the bottle. You've probably seen it at the grocery store. And this mayo is different. Mm-hmm. Most mayonnaise uses whole eggs. Cupid only uses egg yolks, which gives it this rich umami flavor. It's smoother, deeper, almost buttery. Once people try it, they start putting it on everything. Egg sandwiches, fries, burgers, chefs use it, restaurants use it, people who really care about flavor use it, put it on just about anything. Then you'll understand Cupid, the original Japanese mayonnaise. It's fall in Jeep country. And during the drive into fall sales event, get a great deal on four by fours that refuse to be contained, like Jeep Wrangler. Confidence built into every drive with the most awarded SUV ever, Jeep Grand Cherokee. And freedom that can't be denied, with the open air freedom in Jeep Gladiator.

1:01After 85 years, it's no surprise that Jeep became America's SUV brand. Get a great deal during the Jeep drive into fall sales event. Jeep is one more awards over its lifetime than any other SUV brand, even the Jeep Grille Registered Trademarks of FCA-US LLC. Meet the Red Bull Dragonberry Emergeizer. It's one of the many new drinks out now. Who knew ice cold drinks could be so fire? Try them all only at Le Doves. Part one, the three questions. There once was a king of England whose name was John. He was a bad king. For he was harsh and cruel to his people, and so long as he could have his own way, he did not care what became of other folks. He was the worst king that England ever had. Now, there was in the town of Canterbury a rich old abbot who lived in a grand style in a great house called the Appie. Every day a hundred noble men sat down with him to dine,

2:05and fifty brave knights in fine velvet coats and gold chains waited upon him at his table. When King John heard of the way in which the abbot lived, he made up his mind to put a stop to it. So he sent for the old man to come and see him. How now, my good abbot? He said, I hear that you keep a far better house than I. How dare you do such a thing? Don't you know that no man in the land ought to live better than the king? And I tell you that no man shall. El King said the abbot, I beg to say that I'm spending nothing but what is my own. I hope that you will not think ill of me for making things pleasant for my friends and the brave knights who are with me. Think ill of you, said the king. How can I help but think ill of you? All that there is in this broad land is mine by right. And how do you dare to put me to shame

3:07by living in a grander style than I? When would think that you are trying to be king in my place? Oh, do not say so, said the abbot. For I not another word cried the king. Your fault is plain, and unless you can answer me three questions, your head shall be cut off, and all your bitches shall be mine. Have a thought and answer them, El King? Said the abbot. Well then, said King John. As I sit here with my crown of gold on my head, you must tell me within a day just how long I shall live. Secondly, you must tell me how soon I shall ride around the whole world, and lastly you shall tell me what I think. Oh, King, said the abbot. These are deep-awed questions I cannot answer them just now, but if you'll give me two weeks to think about them, I will do the best I can. Two weeks you shall have, said the king.

4:08But if you then fail to answer me, you shall lose your head, and all your lands shall be mine. The abbot went away very sad and in great fear. He rode first to Oxford. Here there was a great school called a university, and he wanted to see if any of the wise professors could help him. But they shook their heads and said that there was nothing about King John in any of their books. Then the abbot rode down to Cambridge, where there was another university, but not one of the teachers in that great school could help him. At last sad and sorrowful, he rode toward home to bid his friends and his brave nights goodbye. For now he had not a week to live. Part two, the three answers. As the abbot was riding up the lane which led to his grand house, he met his shepherd going to the fields.

5:08Welcome home, good master. Try the shepherd. What news do you bring us from great King John? Sad news, sad news, said the abbot. And then he told him all that had happened. Cheered up, cheered up, good masters, said the shepherd. Have you never yet heard that a fool may teach a wise man wit? I think I can help you out of your trouble. You helped me, cried the abbot, how? Well, answer the shepherd. You know that everybody says that I'd look just like you, and that I have sometimes been mistaken for you. So lend me your servants in your horse, in your gown, and I will go up to London and see the King. If nothing else can be done, I can at least die in your place. My good shepherd said the abbot. You are very, very kind and I have a mind to let you try your plan. But if there was, comes to us, you shall not die for me, I will die for myself.

6:08So the shepherd got ready to go at once. He dressed himself with great care. Over his shepherd's coat he threw the abbot's long gown, and he borrowed the abbot's cap and golden staff. When all was ready, no one in the world would have thought that he was not the great man himself. When he mounted his horse and with a great train of servants set out for London, of course the King did not know him. Welcome, sir abbot, he said. It is a good thing that you have come back, but prompt as you are, if you fail to answer my three questions, you shall lose your head. I have read you to answer them, O King, said the shepherd. Head indeed said the King, and he laughed to himself. Well then, answer my first question. How long shall I live? Come, you must tell me to the very day. You shall live, said the shepherd, until the day you die and not one day longer, and you

7:11shall die when you take your last breath, not one moment before. The King laughed. You are with me, I see, he said. But we shall let that pass and say that your answer is right, and now tell me how soon I may ride round the world. You must ride with the sun, said the shepherd, and you must ride with the sun until it rises again the next morning, and as soon as you do that you will find that you have ridden round the world in twenty-four hours. The King laughed again, indeed, he said. I did not think that it could be done so soon. You are not only witty, but you are wise, and we will lift this answer pass. And now comes my third and last question, what do I think? That is an easy question, said the shepherd. You think that I am the appetite of Canterbury, but to tell you the truth, I am only his poor shepherd, and I have come to beg your pardon for him and for me.

8:15And with that he threw off his long gown. The King laughed loud and long. A Mary fellow you are, said he, and you shall be the abbot of Canterbury in your master's place. O King, that cannot be, said the shepherd, for I neither read nor write. Very well then, said the King, I will give you something else to pay you for this marriage joke. I will give you four pieces of silver every week as long as you live. And when you get home, you may tell the old abbot that you have brought him a free pardoned from King John. End of King John and the abbot from fifty famous stories retold by James Baldwin. It's fall in Jeep country, and during the drive into fall sales event, get a great deal on four by fours that refuse to be contained, like Jeep Wrangler, confidence built into every drive with the most awarded SUV ever, Jeep Grand Cherokee, and freedom that can't

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