Karen Dumps Me! I Cancel Her Spotify! - Reddit Stories

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1:01Tyler Reddick here from 2311 Racing. Another checkered flag for the books. Time to celebrate with Chamba. Jump in at ChambaCasino.com. Let's Chamba. No purchase necessary. VTW Group. Boy, we're prohibited by law. CCNC. 21 Plus. Sponsored by Chamba Casino. Hey there! Mr. Reddick here. Welcome back to another episode of Reddit Podcast Stories. Where today? Sheed on me behind my back? I'll cancel your Spotify. So after she told me she was talking to someone while we were together, I was extremely depressed. I've been getting better though, and three weeks have now passed. Then I realized I paid for another month of Spotify for our duo account. I tried reaching out to her on Thursday since I noticed some odd things about her. She left work early due to anxiety attack, so I invited her to hang out at the beach to watch the sunset. She replied to me, It's been three weeks. Congratulations on respecting your first boundary with me. I'm on my way out of town. Maybe next time. So I knew she was going to be driving for a while. Since we worked together, I saw she had to work tomorrow.

2:03So that means she has quite some time on the road today. Saturday. I decided I'm going to take her off my plan, and it'll stop all the premium stuff that's included with it. I hope she enjoys the ads. It was petty of me, but I did enjoy this because she absolutely treated me horrible for months. But I also want to cut anything that involves freebies. I don't want to spend another dime any longer, especially since I paid for everything that we did. I'm happier now, and I know my petty revenge was a step back to my growth. However, it was nice to start moving on because I can't continue the path where my health is affected. I've grown tired of typing, but I enjoyed my laugh, and now I'm going to enjoy my time. My ex was using my Netflix account, and at one point I noticed that she was watching a series. As she got closer to the end of the series, I changed my password with probably two episodes left. I laughed about it for at least a week. My ex used my Hulu. He broke up with me, and I changed my password, and this man had the audacity to ask me for the new password.

3:03He held so good to say no. I hired a private investigator to watch my fiance on her girl's trip, and now my life is over. To cut a long story short, my fiance and I have been together for five years. Every year she goes on this girl's only trip with her close friends. Something in my gut had been bothering me about these trips. Maybe it was the slight changes in her behavior afterwards, or the cryptic conversations out over here. Instead of directly confronting her, I did something I'm deeply ashamed of. I hired a private investigator to watch her during her recent trip. I got back the results a few days ago, and as much as I regret violating her privacy, my suspicions were not unfounded. The private investigator presented evidence of her being unfaithful. It broke my heart. Now I'm caught in this storm of emotions. On one hand, I deeply regret snooping, and not trusting her enough to talk about it. On the other hand, the betrayal from her side feels even more significant. I love her, but I can't see a future together anymore.

4:04How do I even approach this situation? Do I confess my snooping or just end things without revealing the reason? Any advice is welcome. Just tell her you know. You don't have to give details. She's not going to tell all her details. Be glad you didn't marry her. Move on, dude. When she asks why, say that you know she's cheating and leave it at that. Don't tell her anything else. Her punishment is never knowing how you know. When you completely stump her and she has no idea how you know, she'll start yelling at you, accusing you of all kinds of stuff, insulting you however she can, anything to get you to screen back. Don't lose your cool. Keep it together and just leave. Then ghost her. You're done here. Update. When my fiance returned from her trip, I tried my best to handle things maturely. I gave her a chance to be honest, asking if there was anything she wanted to share about her trip. Instead of coming clean, she gas-lit me, making me question my own perceptions and reality. Having the evidence I had, I confronted her about the affair.

5:05She was taken aback and immediately asked how I knew. I told her the truth that I hired a private investigator. I didn't want to falsely accuse any of her friends as some of you suggested, even though honestly part of me was tempted. She was furious. I've never seen her that angry in all of our years together. Additionally, feeling it was the right thing to do, I shared the evidence with one of her friend's boyfriends so he could be informed. It was clear to both of us that our relationship had reached a breaking point. We broke up right then. Despite it being my house that I financially covered for us, I left and checked into a hotel, giving her space and asking her to pack her things and move out. We didn't communicate for a few days. When she finally reached out, she expressed a desire to talk and perhaps find a way to mend things. But the trust was already broken and I couldn't see a future for us. I told her no. And now the part I didn't see coming. She's considering pursuing Palomone payments. For those unaware, Palomone is financial support provided to a partner

6:05in a non-marital relationship after separation. I've been informed that due to the relationship laws in our state, this could very well be a real concern. I've initiated the process of hiring a lawyer. During our relationship, I took on the majority of the financial responsibilities, including the mortgage. We had an unspoken understanding. My money is our money, her money is her money. Due to our significant income difference, I never thought that my generosity would come back to haunt me. There it is, the update many of you asked for. I wish I had a happier conclusion to this chapter, but life has its twists and turns. It seems she might have the upper hand in this final act, but I'm hoping for a fair resolution. Thank you for the support and advice. It's really meant a lot. I can't comment on the legal part of it, because I'm not from where OP is from, but man, the audacity of his ex to cheat on him and lie and ask for money support after being found out. Wow, I hope OP walks clean out of this mess. Yes, hiring a PI could be considered shameful,

7:07but his gut feeling was correct, and it looks like his ex was only using him for his money. That's so sad, man, wishing the best of luck. I always find it interesting how people who have multi-year-long affairs want to mend things. What are you supposed to do in that situation? Check their phone every day? Control who they're friends with? Never let them go out anywhere unless you're with them? Or do they really think they'll go back to the status quo? So odd. I feel for this guy, you can tell he really loves her. He has nothing to be ashamed of, at least he had the sense to get proof. I'm sure the private investigator did a better job than any family or friends could have, getting all the evidence he needs for his impending court case. A newbie at work said I'm not a gamer because I don't play Call of Duty. Later, he finds out I'm his senior. At my work, I'm one of the senior members of the staff, basically lower than a manager, but higher than a team leader. I mainly specialize on a few specific systems, and a part of my job is to help people who have issues with them,

8:08and also I do a lot of quality control and working at the background on the said systems. It's also worth noting that possibly due to some black magic, my ancestors practiced, everyone in my family looks a fair bit younger than they really are. Nothing stupid, like looking 30 when you're 70. More like looking about 10 to 15 years younger than you actually are, depending on your age. Me and my work friend were discussing persona games. I was really excited about getting P5R for my boyfriend for Xmas, and we'd been playing it a lot. My friend was saying how he couldn't really get into persona games, he tried persona 4, but it's just not his type of game. By the time the events happened, we were still talking about the games, but moved on Horizon Zero Dawn, and how expensive the next game is, around 80 pounds. Now that's when one of the apprentices who joined recently hears us, and decides to join the conversation. He says something along the lines that he plays games too, and asks if I play Call of Duty. Now, I don't like multiplayer games.

9:08They're simply not my cup of tea, and the maximum I can do is an occasional co-op game with people I know. But mostly, I just play single-player games. Of course, I said no. I don't play Call of Duty, as I don't really like it, and for me, it feels a bit overrated. The apprentice loses his interest, says that, Maybe you're not as much of a gamer as you want to look like, and goes back to his training. Telling me that I should do the same if I want to succeed, instead of talking about anime games. I think he overheard us talking about persona. I let go a small laugh, and I carry on with the conversation that I had before with my friend. About two hours later, manager comes around, as he wants to introduce the apprentice to the team properly. Of course, he mentions the job titles. Now the poor soul finds out my name, and the fact that I'm not an apprentice as he thought, but actually I'm his senior, who he has no chance of avoiding talking to while doing his job. His face turns red, his eyes are widening, and I can see he's trying to figure out how to get out of this situation,

10:09but he can't. I find the situation hilarious, and just curious how this will play out, as he'll have to talk to me at some point. Tyler Reddick here from 2311 Racing. Victory Lane? Yeah, it's even better with Chamba by my side. Race to ChambaCasino.com. Let's Chamba. Don't purchase necessary, VTW Group. Void we're prohibited by law. CTNCs, 21 plus, sponsored by Chamba Casino. This is Alex Cantrowicz. I'm the host of Big Technology Podcast, a longtime reporter and an on-air contributor to CMBC. And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence is changing the business world and our lives. So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it, asking where this is all going. They come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon, and plenty more. So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices, and meetings with your colleagues, and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology Podcast, wherever you get your podcasts. Holidays pass, and I had to pop into my desk today to grab something

11:09and find Uncharted, the Nathan Drake collection on my desk, and a message saying he wants to apologize for what he said. What do you think? Should I forgive him or let him suffer the awkwardness a bit more? PS, I haven't played Uncharted games yet, if this makes any difference. Update. So last week, I had some training scheduled with this guy to show him some advanced bits about the job. Everything went fine, and I thanked him for the game, and decided to ask why he said what he did. I've also mentioned that I'm not here to judge him for liking Call of Duty, but he shouldn't be shaming people for not liking the games that he does. He is apologized again, and it felt he needed to talk to someone about it. He's explained that he grew up playing Final Fantasy in Pokemon games, and absolutely loved them. He also enjoyed single-player games like Uncharted, Tomb Raider, and the last of us on console. However, when he started college, his friends started making fun of him for enjoying single-player games, and basically bullied him into believing that he can't be classified as a gamer if he doesn't play games like Call of Duty,

12:10or Battlefield, and that gamers must like competitive games. He felt left out as his college buddies would only talk about Call of Duty, Battlefield, Girls and Parties, and felt the need to fit in. So over time, he started adapting their beliefs. He even said he's not good at those games, and mostly played them to talk to people, and to not feel lonely. I told him again how he should never be ashamed for enjoying other games more, and that a lot of gamers prefer single-player to multiplayer. He shouldn't stop playing games he likes because some kids think it's uncool, and that friends who bully people to get them to do what they want are not actually real friends. He got the point, and my work colleague, who heard the initial exchange, reached out to him as well, saying if he feels lonely or wants to try something different, he can loan him some games to play, and he can always join his team and rocket league if he needs a chat. So, I guess it's a happy ending. Something tells me this boy's diet consists primarily of mountain dew and Doritos. I, 28, male, can't have kids,

13:10and my wife, who's 27, doesn't want to adopt. My biological parents left me when I was very young, and I was adopted when I was 8. My adoptive parents were wonderful to me, and I have a brother who is the biological child of my adoptive parents, three years older than me. Being abandoned had a profound impact on me, and I've always had a strong desire to be a father and to have kids. I met my wife when I was 19, and she was 18. I've always been open with her about my history, providing all the details, and I made it clear that my dream was to have a family with more than one kid. She also expressed a desire to have a family, and this was never an issue. We got married, and it's been about two years since we decided it was time to have our first baby. We started trying, but she didn't get pregnant. So we sought medical advice to understand if there were any issues. It was then that I found out, I'm sterile, and my wife doesn't have any medical problems. I was devastated, but since I myself was adopted, I saw adoption as the ideal solution. I suggested to my wife

14:10that we should adopt, but she was against it. She cited reasons that are, in reality, based on prejudice. I was deeply saddened by this, because when you talk about one of those kids, you're also talking about me. We've had many discussions, but I haven't been able to change her mind. On the other hand, she proposed that we should undergo artificial insemination with an anonymous donor. I disagreed with this, because it would cost a lot of money, and I feel it's unfair to act so selfishly when there are thousands of kids waiting to be adopted. Our marriage is going through a serious crisis because of this. I can't comprehend how she can hold such opinions about adoption while being married to me. I'd appreciate any suggestions on how to change her mind. I've seriously considered separation because being a father is the dream of my life. However, I still love my wife. With separating over this issue be too extreme, I'm really lost. Edit. I forgot an extremely important point when I wrote. My wife said that if we had a kid through artificial insemination, we would be the biological parents,

15:11even though I'm not the biological father. I completely disagreed with that. I believe we need to be as honest as possible with the kid. The options ahead of you are, one, accept you want to stay together, even though that means not having kids. Two, attend couples counseling and see if you two can have some breakthroughs in communication. Or three, accept that you are incompatible on the subject of having kids, even though you both want them and break up. Best of luck, I'm sorry you're going through this. Hi, I'm a fellow adoptee. I absolutely do not recommend that you try to convince her to adopt. I know what it's like to know that you were only adopted because one parent really wanted to and the other settled for it. To be honest, I'm shocked that her true feelings never came up before. I've spoken at length about my adoption with my husband, who's not adopted. And before we decided being child-free, we did discuss biological or adoptive. Unfortunately, it sounds like you two may be incompatible at this point. Based on your edit, I agree that you absolutely

16:12shouldn't have a kid via insemination and say that you're the biological father if you're not. However, there seems to be a lot of other deeper issues that need to be communicated between you and your wife. My opinion is that you find an adoption competent therapist to help you really delve into your feelings of your adoption and potential parenthood. You wanted a biological kid until it wasn't possible, so you turned to adoption. I think that needs to be explored. I think before you and your wife decided to do anything, pursue parenthood or separation, it would be beneficial to speak to a counselor to ensure that you two are on the same page. I, 28 female, lost the ring my fiance proposed to me with and I feel so guilty. I feel like I should preface this by saying I've always been a little scatterbrained. Among the things I have lost are my car keys, my wallet, I've misplaced this one so much that my fiance got me one of those apple trackers. A very expensive work issued laptop, I found after three days on the subway, a worker held it for me. Jewelry,

17:12fiance once gave me a necklace and I misplaced that. Also, my mother gave me a ring when I was a young adult. I lost it a long time ago. And cash, one time I lost half the rent, you need to stop losing stuff. Are you serious? Headphones, about three cell phones. I almost misplaced my new one, but I realized soon enough and went back for it. A personal diary and a book of poetry, and probably other things that I can't remember right now. I should also say that I don't really wear jewelry. I wear earrings maybe once or twice a month, and a necklace if I go out. I've not worn a ring since I lost the one my mother gave me. I can't remember the occasion. Maybe it was a birthday. Here's the backstory. A year ago, we were discussing marriage and things. His dance is, my grandparents have been together for 50 years, and they only got married about a decade ago. I don't think you should put a timeline on marriage. It could be five or ten years before you can be ready for marriage. My stance was, if you don't know after three years that you want to marry me or not, then don't waste my time. I see so many people

18:13on this subreddit and social media and in my neighborhood, where the guy just leads her on for years and years. Plus, I want to own a home one day, and I do not want to buy a home with my boyfriend. I do not think it's legally wise to do so. Marriage is important, and that if something were to happen to either of us, passing, medical emergency, you need insurance, et cetera, then the spouse is usually covered. So I told him, you have three years to propose. I don't care if it's with a ring pop when I plan to buy a house. My family also pressures both of us. They have somewhat traditional views about commitment and monogamy. He took this as an ultimatum, but said that he understood. My fiance proposed to me last Tuesday. I was ecstatic, relieved, elated, but I also felt the same. I told him, I'm marrying you, not my family's approval. The only thing I expected change is that our tax returns will increase and we'll have a bundle of joy. I'm 35 weeks pregnant. That being said, I had this beautiful engagement ring for more than a week. I had been taking it off to wash my hands

19:14and then apply lotion. I find the feeling of metal on my wet skin to be very annoying and unnatural. I didn't even notice that I didn't have the ring on until yesterday. When I came home and he asked, where's your ring? I immediately started searching for it among my work things, but I knew I'd left it in the office. I hoped that no one would take it, like a coworker or a cleaning person. I went back to work, but the places locked after hours and I knew management would just say, can't you look tomorrow? Before I went home, he called me to check how things went and to see where I was. I sort of told him that I was out, but hearing his voice made me want to cry. I stopped by my godmother's house, whom I'm close with. I was hysterical, afraid that he'd break up with me. She told me that the ring is a material thing, and that I should be more careful. But I don't think he will break up with you if he's a good a man as we think he is. Bubba Wallace here from 2311 Racing. You know what's slower than a pace car? Waiting at the car wash.

20:14That's when I fire up Chamba Casino. It turns those slow minutes into fast fun. With new games every week, you'll never get bored. Next time you're stuck in the slow lane, speed up with Chamba. Play now at chambacasino.com. Let's Chamba. Sponsored by Chamba Casino. No purchase necessary. VGW GroupFord, where prohibited by law, 21 plus terms and conditions apply. Hi, this is Alex Cantrowitz. I'm the host of Big Technology Podcast. A long time reporter and an on-air contributor to CNBC. And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence is changing the business world and our lives. So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it. Asking where this is all going. They come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon, and plenty more. So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices, and meetings with your colleagues, and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology Podcast wherever you get your podcasts. I got home last night. And before I went to bed, I reiterated how sorry I was,

21:15and how devastated and ashamed I felt at losing something so important in a little over a week. He said not to worry. He has a solution, and that he's not mad, which I found hard to believe. But it could have been my own guilt. I went in today and checked my desk, but I couldn't find it. I asked management if they could check the security cameras, and they said that they have the ring. I was ecstatic. I texted my fiance, and he called me. I took a breath of fresh air. I was so relieved. Then he said, want to know what my solution if you couldn't find it was? I said sure. And he said, if you couldn't find it, I would have said no problem. But we go back to being boyfriend and girlfriend. And that ultimatum you gave me? It would be a mood point. I would have proposed on my time, whether it's five years or ten years down the line. I was a bit speechless. He continued, because it would have shown me that you're not ready. Besides it costing lots of money, it's a symbol of our love, and you lost it in a week, which is crazy. Also, it's really embarrassing, because when the people we've told ask,

22:16where's the ring? What would I say? What would you say? And no, I wouldn't let you replace it. We have the baby to think about, and besides, that's not the point. I make more than he does, and I could give him the money back immediately, though I'd dip into my emergency fund. I asked him, could we maybe compromise? And I get a tattoo and wear it for special occasions? He said no, and wouldn't really say much else, just that he had to get ready for work. I know what he's thinking. Like, here I spent all this money, and she doesn't even want to wear it. I also see his point, and just don't know what to do. I still feel ashamed that I can't even keep up with something so important. You need to implement the rule, people with ADHD use. Don't put it down, put it away. Whatever important thing you're holding, it does not leave your hand, unless it's going in one designated spot. Every single time you pick it up, it goes back to that spot. If it's only ever been put in one spot, it's much harder to lose. You know where it is. It's in its spot.

23:16Right now, it sounds like you're just kind of dropping things, wherever you last used them. And of course, you're losing them. If that's what you're doing, your spot for your ring needs to be there on your finger, or in its box in your bag or pocket. You never put it down, unless it's going in one of those two spots. That way, you'll always find it. You need to do this, because honestly, you're very lucky you haven't suffered much worse consequences for your lack of care and memory problems. The things you've lost so far could have cost you your job, your house, and your fiance. Get your crap together and figure out a solution. Also, finger tattoos aren't as great of a solution as you might think. We were looking into them, but it turns out they rub off very quickly. In general, tattoos on the hands don't tend to last, because you're constantly using and washing them. So you'd have to be constantly redoing it, which isn't a fantastic thing to be wasting money on if you're trying to get into the housing market. A lot of places won't even do finger tats because they're difficult to maintain. Am I the jerk for not backing down on my daughter's teachers calling her the proper name?

24:18My daughter, Alexandra, who's 14, hates any shortened version of her name. This has gone on since she was about 10. The family respects it, and she's pretty good about advocating for herself, should someone call her Lexi, Alex, etc. She also hates when people get her name wrong and just wants to be called Alexandra. She took Spanish in middle school. The teacher wanted to call all students by the Spanish version of their name, provided there was one. So she tried to call Alexandra Alejandra. Alexandra corrected her, and the teacher respected it. She had the same teacher all three years of middle school, so it wasn't an issue. Now she's in high school and is taking Spanish. Once again, the new teacher announced if a student had a Spanish version of their name, she'd call them that. So she called Alexandra Alejandra. Alexandra corrected her, but the teacher ignored her. My daughter came home upset after the second week. I'm not the type of mom to write emails, but I felt I had to in this case. If it matters, this teacher is not Hispanic herself, so this isn't a pronunciation issue.

25:20Her argument is if these kids ever went to a Spanish-speaking country, they'd be called by that name. I found this excuse a little weak, as the middle school Spanish teacher actually was Hispanic, who had come from a Spanish-speaking country, and she respected Alexandra's wishes. The teacher tried to dig her heels in, but I said if it wasn't that big a deal in her eyes that she calls her Alejandra, why is it such a big deal that just call her Alexandra? Eventually, she gave in. Alexandra confirmed that her teacher is calling her by her proper name. My husband feels I blew this out of proportion, and Alexandra could have sucked it up for a year. The school has three different Spanish teachers, so odds are she could get another one herself more year. Am I the jerk? Not the jerk, but the teacher's reasoning was off. If I went to a foreign country and told them my name was Anthony, and they started calling me Antonio, I would tell them Anthony is what they need to call me. It's different for a person who has worked hard to be called their correct name to have it changed, then for a person with a generic name. For example, someone named John goes through life

26:21with his name correctly pronounced, and it's fun to be called Juan for an hour. Everyone sucks here. Converting names into a foreign language class is a common thing, even when it's a complete swap. It's not a personal attack or disrespect right off the bat. The middle school Spanish teacher probably gave in, because it's not worth the hassle dealing with parents who think every kid's demand must be met, which honestly is what this high school teacher probably should have done for their own sanity. Your husband is right that you and Alexandra are overreacting to the situation. Your email isn't going to help either. OP even admitted that they realize it's just for a year and it's the teacher trying to assimilate the kids into the culture. What is happening in these comments? Yes, you're the jerk and so is your daughter. I'm in my mid-40s, and when I took Spanish in school 30 years ago, it was the same thing. Why is this a big deal? It really shouldn't be. My name doesn't translate to Spanish, so my teacher just gave me a different name. This is absurd to be upset about. You both sound childish.

27:21I also can't believe the comments. She's very privileged if this is her biggest problem at school. You're the jerk. I was prepared to say not the jerk, thinking this was a history or math or English class, but this is pretty typical for a foreign language class. My name in Spanish class was Jose, which bore no resemblance to my actual name. If this is such a problem for your daughter, I feel bad for her, because she's going to lead a very unhappy life, and you sound exactly like the kind of mom to send emails. Well, who do you think is the jerk? O.P. or the teacher? Please let us know. And people wonder why the kids grew up to be Karen's? I love the Spanish name I had when I took Spanish, and so did every other kid in the class. Some people just need a serious chill pill. If you leave the ward, we will discharge you. In 2011, my darling daddy had to have surgery to remove one of his kidneys due to a large cyst. Two days after his surgery, while he was on the ward recovering, he began to feel unwell. But thankfully, it was something he was used to

28:21that could be resolved easily, heart palpitations. Now, dad has been having heart palpitations since the mid-90s, and while it was scary in the early days, by 2011, it was really a simple routine. Go to A&E and get an injection from the cardiac team at the hospital. Sometimes, he would have a normal sinus rhythm, but would be having palpitations nonetheless, identified by the feeling in his body. The doctor on shift took an ECG and promptly informed him that he was not having heart palpitations. He had normal sinus rhythm. He tried to explain that he had been having palpitations for 15 years. He knows what palpitations feel like, and that all she needed to do was call the cardiac team. This was a semi-regular occurrence, about once a year, and the heart nurse has all knew him by name, and loved him. He's quite a character. The doctor refused to page the cardiac team, repeating that he wasn't having palpitations. For a couple of hours, dad set there in panic, getting more and more distressed. It was outside of visiting time, so he was alone. He told the doctor that he would make his own way

29:21to the cardiac team, and she told him, If you leave the ward, we will formally discharge you. Again, this was two days after losing a major organ. This is where the malicious compliance comes in. Dad called 999 from his hospital bed. When they asked for his address, he said, That's an interesting question. Normally it's up my house, but right now, I'm in this ward at this hospital. Shocked, the call handler asked, what happened, and dad relayed the whole thing to them. The call handler escalated the call to a manager, who asked to speak to dad's doctor, and gave her a massive dressing down. Her face grade, as she realized the gravity of what was happening. She immediately arranged for a porter to take him to A&E, UK emergency room, to be assessed by the cardiac team. And what do you know? He was in fact having palpitations and had been for several hours. Drew McIntyre here from WWE, wielding the Claymore can be a life of chaos. When I'm not dominating in the ring, Chumbac Casino is how this warrior takes a wee break.

30:22With hundreds of online social games and new weekly releases, there's always something fresh to try. And those daily boosts, next level, even my free time feels like foul-halla. So when life feels like a battle, kick up your feet, have some fun. And let's Chumbac. No purchase necessary, VGW Group, voidware prohibited by law, CTs and Cs, 21 plus, sponsored by Chumbac Casino. Hi, this is Alex Cantrowitz. I'm the host of Big Technology Podcast, a longtime reporter and an on-air contributor to CNBC. And if you're like me, you're trying to figure out how artificial intelligence is changing the business world and our lives. So each week on Big Technology, I bring on key actors from companies building AI tech and outsiders trying to influence it, asking where this is all going. They come from places like Nvidia, Microsoft, Amazon, and plenty more. So if you want to be smart with your wallet, your career choices, and meetings with your colleagues and at dinner parties, listen to Big Technology Podcast or ever you get your podcasts. A quick injection later, his heart was back to normal and we were all left stunned by the whole thing.

31:22I was in my 20s at the time and dad was my superhero and saying him crying in a hospital bed, looking so scared and small will never leave me. I will never forget what that doctor did and I'll never forgive her. She never even apologized to him or to us. Dad could probably have taken the hospital, the doctor, and the trust to court. But that's just not his bag and he just let it go like water off a duck's back. 12 years later, and he's healthy and happy. But I honestly thought I might lose him because of an arrogant doctor and her stubbornness. Would I be the jerk for not letting my sisters see the baby before I make a move out of state? My husband and I welcomed our first baby into the world a few months ago. To say the least, it's been pretty hectic as we're first time parents. My oldest sister, let's call her Lily, is in a wheelchair and lives on her own with round the clock care. For the past 10 years, I've taken care of my sister alongside with other caregivers. Before anyone asks, my mom is simply too old and unhealthy to care for her in recent years.

32:22She's also sort of been absent from caring for her. I would go to her house seven days a week. I was there anywhere between 10pm to 7am every day. Around 36 weeks, I took leave to focus on myself and baby. My sister seemed to have an issue with it. She complained to anyone who would listen that I wouldn't talk to her. Mind you, I was strictly focusing on preparing for the arrival of my baby and hardly had time or mental energy to conversate with anyone. Lily is very emotionally demanding. She expects your time when she wants it. Being that her mind is at 15 years old, despite being 45. I could not do this. I couldn't give her more of my time than I already had. After my baby was born, I became so drained of any emotional or social energy. I struggled with postpartum depression. My physical recovery was painful and exhausting. I'm still recovering intact. During this, my sister bombarded everyone and myself for my time, saying she couldn't understand why I wouldn't speak to her. I would go off to tell her

33:22she needed to give me time to recover. This wasn't good enough and she persisted. Finally, I snapped. Told her she was not entitled to my time and that I've been struggling with adjusting and that she needed to give me time. She constantly wanted to know when I'd return to work. I get paid by the state to take care of her or when I'd be by with my newborn. My sister didn't like my radio silence and decided to fire me in the middle of my recovery because I wouldn't communicate with her. My husband has struggled finding work the past year and it's been incredibly hard so she really threw us for a loop when she fired me. Our main source of income is now gone and my husband's job doesn't pay nearly enough for us to sustain ourselves. I was livid. A week or so ago, my husband got an amazing offer out of state. Being where we weren't finding work here, we jumped on the opportunity largely due to the fact that we'd go homeless if we stood in a high cost of living area. We live in California. We didn't want to leave our entire family behind, but after searching for work endlessly,

34:22it seems our only option. Now here's the part where I think I might be the jerk. My sister hasn't spoken to me, nor I to her. Everyone knows I'm leaving except her. I didn't exactly plan on telling her, but my family is pushing me to let her see my baby before I leave. I don't want to, but at the same time, I feel it might not be worth the trouble avoiding her to appease my family. So, what I be the jerk? Edit. My return date was up in the air due to the complications I had during delivery. I had lost a lot of blood and I was getting extensions due to my slow recovery physically and mentally. She was aware of this. Edit too. I'll clarify a few common mistakes. She did not pay out of pocket for me being there. There was supposed to be a temporary replacement. Her firing me was due to not having my communication as a sister, not an employee. My return date was never exact because of my complicated delivery. I almost lost two liters of blood, and I had to recover for three days. I was on unpaid maternity leave by the program

35:22that I got paid through, so not having a job did financially impact our lives. I decided to tell her that I'll be leaving within the next month. As for saying the baby, I'll ask her if she wants to, which I'm sure she will. No jerks here. This sounds like a challenging mixture of work and family. Would it lift an emotional load from your shoulders to visit your sister before you go? Would you visit your sister before the move if the baby wasn't part of the equation? If the answer is yes, visit her. Not the jerk. The lines between work and family are very blurred here. It's very difficult to be able to separate the two, and your sister took full advantage of utilizing and punishing you on a professional level for personal reasons, and has now also cut you off. I don't think you're the jerk. I think you would be well within your emotional rights to just cut ties, and stay out with the opportunities she presented you with. Am I the jerk for my no plants or animals in the house policy? My kids really wanted pets, and so did my partner.

36:22They got a mixed breed puppy from the pound and two kittens. As these animals grew, none of the humans in my house did anything to care for them besides playing with them and cuddling. I got up at 5.30am to walk the dog before work. I cleaned the kitty litter boxes out. I took them to the vet. I had to buy and serve all of their food and cleaned up their eating areas afterward. People would just forget otherwise. Naturally, I also had to clean up after them when I'd arrive home and inevitably, my partner wouldn't have bothered, and there were messes all over the floor. If I made my partner or kids do it, they would do a horrible job to the point where they might as well have not even bothered. Same way with the plants. Partner wanted house plants and to start indoor herb and vegetable gardens. Had fun with it for the first week, then totally ignored it. Dead leaves, spilled soil, bugs, etc. Now proliferate in the garden area. If I don't water and groom the plants, it doesn't get done. I'm busy, and these are not my chosen hobbies. I like animals well enough, but they're

37:22a lot of work. And when they aren't attended to, destroy the house. I grew up with a family that hordered pets, and our house was always nasty and smelly and embarrassing. I swore when I had my own place, it would be different. The cats bee and spray everywhere, and I can't get to the litter box in time. And the dog chews up stuff and leaves big messes on the floor if I don't walk it. I'm the only one who will walk him when it gets cold. We have a fence in back yard. I bought a dog house, and announced he'll live outside from now on, till they can prove that they can take care of him better. Same with the cats. They're now outdoor kitties, till my humans can show me they're ready for indoor ones. Of course, if the weather is extreme, I'll let them in. Plants are all going out. I'm done. Am I the jerk? New remarks. Hi. I've read all the responses, and I'm now going to stop with comments because I get the overall consensus. I'm going to copy and paste here what I put in another comment. I have no idea how to re-home these

38:22adult pets besides Facebook or Craigslist, and you don't really know who's going to take them. You don't know anything about the people showing up. They could be going from a bad situation here to even worse. Re-homing adult pets is not as easy as you're all making it out to be. I don't have abundant resources of time or energy to address this. It's causing problems, and this is the best solution I can come up with for now, to call everybody down. I've tried for over a year to do the best I possibly could for these pets, but I just can't anymore. I don't know how to force other people to do the right thing and be more responsible. Pets aren't just for snuggles and cuddles, they require a lot more attention and devotion. And yes, I've tried punishing my kids and withholding privileges for lack of care. I told my partner they weren't ready for pets. He brought them home anyway. If finding other homes for them is the best long-term solution, then I'll look into that, but I'm not expecting them any place they can be put down, and I don't want them walking away with just whoever. I have a nice

39:22landscaped backyard with a big covered deck and patio, where who'll have a dog bed in addition to the dog house I bought, and the cats will have little cat cozy too. It's not like I'm tossing them into the jungle. We live in a temperate climate, and of course I'll bring them inside when the weather's inclement. Where I live, which isn't a country-fied area, most people have a great deal of lot acreage and usual at all to keep outdoor pets. Many, many people love and care for their pets, but it's very common for them to not have animals in the house. I didn't want to be like that, but I don't know what else to do. My pets, including the cats, have been indoor and outdoor all their life. The cats were not exclusively raised indoors. Now those are my excuses, and I won't give any more. I completely understand that many people feel like animals should never live outside. I'm listening to everyone here who is saying just give them away, giving them away is better, and even to people saying return them to animal control or the pound. Where there's a responsibility, if they aren't adopted, they will be euthanized.

40:22Even though I do not see it like this, that's definitely a majority opinion here. So I appreciate all these responses, and I will give more thought to this, but that's all I have to say for now. And honestly, I've gotten some very horrible inbox messages, calling me all kinds of names, as well as really mean stuff people shouldn't be saying to me. Not the jerk for being frustrated or vomiting, a no pets or plants rule. You are the jerk for putting the animals outside though. They're likely just be even more neglected than they are now. Outdoor cats are a public nuisance. Take them to a shelter, or rescue, or find them a new home. You're the jerk. Re-home the animals instead of throwing them outside. Go to your local rescue and get help to re-home them. Those animals will not understand why they're being punished, and putting cats outside after being indoor animals is quite dangerous for them. Next time your family wants an animal, put your foot down, rather than allowing that situation to happen. Shaking my head. Letting animals suffer just so you can make a point really upsets me. You're the jerk. You're their parent.

41:22You raise them. If they're lazy, it's you and your husband's fault. And putting these animals outside puts them and the wildlife in danger. Just re-home them instead of neglecting them. Well, what do you think? Is Opie the jerk for how they're handling this? Or not? Please let us know. Nothing's worse than when your kids tell you they want pets, then you get them pets, and they don't want to take care of them. Do this next. Tap here on your screen to come see our new podcast playlist, where you'll find thousands of hours of the best stories you've ever heard. Or tap the one on the right. That episode is specifically just for you, based on other videos you've enjoyed the most. Tyler Reddick here from 2311 Racing. Victory Lane? Yeah. It's even better with jumpers. It's even better with Chamba by my side. Race to ChambaCasino.com. Let's Chamba. No purchase necessary. VTW Group. Voidware prohibited by law. CTNCs. 21 Plus. Sponsored by ChambaCasino. Do you love romcoms? Do you wish you could talk about Christmas movies year round?

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