Just for Today - March 18th, 2026 with The Squad - The full message

0:00All right, welcome to the Anonymous Podcast, 2026, just for today's series on your host, Douglassel. If you've been rocking with us for years or listening for your very first time, you're welcome here. And you're encouraged to participate. This is not just a podcast, this is a community. If you want to read it just for today, if you want to share it on the just for today episode, join a book study, be a part of the dialogue, welcome, we'd love to have you. Reach out to us, you can chop it up on the Facebook page or the podcast number, which that'll come directly to me. But either way, if you have the desire, jump on in and we got you. Please know this, it never cost anything to listen to any of these episodes. We don't charge, we don't make any money from doing it, we don't pay our guests to come on. This is truly 100% a labor of love.

1:00Every episode is created by addicts in recovery who are eager to participate and grateful to be of service. And we won't have it any other way. As we focus on that magic six letter word, others, we collectively believe if one person benefits from our efforts, including one of us, then without a doubt it's all worth it. Alright, so here we go. This podcast is a commentary and discussion of narcotics and anonymous literature intended to enrich the recovery experience. This is not, alright, let's double us, double down on this. This is not a replacement for sponsorship, step work or participation in any other form of the fellowship. Please use this podcast as an additional resource as we continue to grow together. The anonymous podcast does not represent NA. We are not affiliated with NA as a whole. We are simply addicts seeking recovery, nothing more, and for sure nothing less. Now let's get started. Hey all, I'm Reagan, I'm an addict.

2:10My clean date is November 21st of 2024 and I attend meetings in Columbia, South Carolina. This is just for today for March 18th. There is a special feeling for addicts when they discover that there are other people who share their difficulties, past and present, basic text page 53. The wealth of our recovery is too good to keep to ourselves. Some of us believe that when we talk in meetings we should remember the newcomer and always try to carry a positive message, but sometimes the most positive message we can carry is that we are going through difficult times in our recovery and are staying clean in spite of them. Yes, it's gratifying to send out a strong message of hope to our new members. After all, no one likes a whiner. But distressing things happen and life on life's terms can send shockwaves even through the recovery of longtime members of narcotics anonymous. If we are equipped with the tools of the program, we can walk through such turmoil and stay clean to tell the tale. Recovery doesn't happen all at once. It is an ongoing process, sometimes a struggle.

3:10When we dilute the fullness of our message by neglecting to share about the tough times we may walk through on our journey, we fail to allow newcomers a chance to see that they too can stay clean no matter what. If we share the full message of recovery, we may not know who benefits, but we can be sure someone will. Just for today, I will honestly share both the good times and the difficult times of my recovery. I will remember that my experience in walking through adversity may benefit another member. Thanks for letting me serve. Welcome back everyone. This is March 18th. The full message. We're hanging out with the squad. I've asked Jim to jump in and go first. Leave us off, Jan. I love this line. The wealth of our recovery is too good to keep to ourselves. Sometimes I feel like when I'm sharing with a newcomer or I'm sharing in a meeting, I feel like there's just so much I want to talk about because I'm so grateful for what I have. That's what I think of when I talk about that stuff. I try to keep it, I think it's real important in any meeting, especially if there's newcomers

4:15that have raised their hands, so talk a little bit about what it was like and sometimes I'm having difficulties and I think that hearing it from others and also being able to share it in a meeting is like they talk about the therapeutic value is so important for me. I think at the end it talks about how honesty share both the good times and the difficult times, man. I felt like I didn't want to because I felt like I had too much time and it looked like I had everything going on and I had things going on on side and I felt like I was like, you know what I mean? I was getting eaten alive and that's the disease winning, right? So today, you know, the fight for me and walking through adversity, all that stuff has benefited somebody in some way or another and today I'm a product of I have all this stuff going on and another member saying I haven't gone through that, but this person has because I've heard him talk about it and I've watched him walk through it and that's a gift. Thanks. Thanks, Jan. It's a patty. Hey guys, yeah, Jan, that's exactly what I was thinking in my head is that, you know,

5:20sometimes I feel a little guilty that I haven't had some, you know, I haven't had tragedy in recovery, like I came to recovery and I'm finally utilizing some tools that I don't have to, you know, burn shit down or freak the hell out, you know, I can actually process them shit and deal with some problems in a healthy way and not toxic, but like that's the other important thing about building a tribe, dude, like there's been a few times that my sponsor has said, you know, I don't really, I know someone better that can speak to you on this issue and she's also had people call me, like she'll ask me, hey, you know, I've had one of my other sponsors ask about this and I know you have some experience with it. Could you call them? Could you talk to them? And that's the beauty of this program, dude, like we have so many wide variety of people and experiences and once you're plugged into this program, you have such a plethora of places to tap into and people to tap into and really, I feel like that's the beauty of this program.

6:21Thanks. Thanks, Patsy. It's up to you. Hey, everybody. Yeah. I really liked the part where it talked about feeling to show newcomers the chance that they too can stay clean no matter what because I've shared often that I don't have a ton of reservations about whether or not I can, I can stay clean, but I have some about what I could survive, you know, and one of them being like the loss of a child and not like, you know, I know that I could stay clean because I have seen people do it, but I don't know if I could or would live through it. And like I'm pretty close to somebody that is like walking through it now and like watching her share it and let people love on her and all of that like has shown me that like just like using, you know, the only way that I don't make it through something like that is if I don't fucking want to, you know, and that's what, so I try to remember that, you know, when I got some icky shit that I think nobody wants to hear, like sometimes I do

7:21need to hear it. And there's hope in all of that too, like I can come here and just share that shit and I don't have to take it home. Thanks. Thanks, Tori. It's up there. Yeah, I learned this early on, luckily that, you know, it was from people coming up to me after the meeting, you know what I mean? I'm like connecting, but I learned early on that it was, first I thought it was just that I was insane, you know, it's sharing the same things and that was part of it, but I learned that it was just honesty. You know what I mean? It's the honesty that was connecting me, man, and that's what was so freeing and refreshing for myself as well, you know, so I've never really had a problem with the, that's not true. There's been, there's a season where I've not wanted to share some of the stuff I'm going through, you know, or wanted to look better, you know, I remember having a year clean and a sponsor, you know, I mean, like, and wanting to use, and I sat in the parking lot and I thought about it. And I almost left looking back, I think if I were to left that night, it probably wouldn't have got high, you know, so I wouldn't have told on myself and, you know, nobody's

8:24fun. Nobody was surprised, or you know, I mean, it wasn't a big deal, but in my head it was a really big deal, you know, and so, I don't know, it's funny that we were talking about this earlier dog on that page from 20 of the, of the stuff we can guide that talks about sharing and how we share, you know, that's it. Thanks, Eric, it's up Steven. Hey, guys, yeah, so that, yeah, that's sharing from, from the heart, really, and that, that gut level stuff, that's a part of it that, that still is, man, that, that pulls me in. And that's the stuff that I need, and that's what I try to bring out, you know, and I still go to a lot of meetings, I still probably go to at least four meetings a week, and, and we have small group for the most part, and we're, where I go to meetings, and so, you know, everybody has kind of an opportunity to, to get some stuff out there, and sometimes

9:28it's really just kind of light, you know, just kind of checking in kind of thing, but there's always something there that somebody brings to the table that, that, that touches everybody in, in a special way, and, and, you know, when one person in the room gets honest, you can't help everybody starts getting honest, and I love that, I love that, that we've created a safe place to where, where we can do that, where I can bring the, the, the hard part out there, and, because it's not just about, you know, this hope, you know, I, I would like to share that it's, it's the hope shot, but really the, the part that makes it, people believe in, in the hope piece of it, I think, is the, let me, let me carry you through, through the, the hard, and the difficult parts that I'm capable of making it through, as well, because that's what, that's what makes people believe in, in this process, I think, it's what made me believe, anyway, and, yeah, it's, yeah, share our experience, strengthen hope, and the experience part is, sometimes that's, that's

10:33dragging that ugly, or that dirty, or that difficult part out there, and letting people see that, too. So, thanks, Steven, it's a barben, Paul, Hey, Douglas, I like this, you know, different, what I've noticed in me is different people carry the message, different ways, you know, I'm like you, you know, whatever is going on in my life is fodder for, for a meeting level, you know, to share, and my sponsor shares a repetitive old timer kind of message, you know, and that's, that's just as important as, you know, the different ways are important, and they make the meeting, you know, I share the mess, but I also share the solution, you know, and, I try to share, because if I heard, if I came in and everybody was, he was all rainbows and unicorns and shit, I'd say these people are full of shit, you know, so I share it 30 years, some of the shit that goes on in my head, you know, and I don't want to burst your bubble, that's what I say, but it took me many years to start getting a

11:35little bit of progress, you know, I think it's important that we share that, the reality of the, the disease, you know, because a lot of us, uh, didn't live in reality, you know, so I, I shared the message, and I shared things like Tori said, I almost feel like I did, I have had a lot of shit in my, my life has been, you know, like a soap opera or something, I don't know, but, um, you know, I think I have an obligation to share it, because like my friend Damien says, no matter what, I must not use, and that we can get through anything without using, and my life has shown that, and because I struggled when I first came in, you know, putting together some time, it was important, so thanks. Everyone in Paul, I'm an addict. So, uh, you're a pathological liar, Paul Martin, that's what my mother said to me before I got clean, and I had to go look up what pathological was, and, um, so the honesty in the first step is there for a reason, without starting with that and telling the truth about

12:37what I have done or what I feel or what's happened, I can't move on, and I think it's, so important in narcotics anonymous is to take the risk, to tell the truth about what you've done, what you're feeling, all of those things. It has made all the difference for me, it, to, to say the truth of what, you know, I'm an HIV positive gay man, and this is the truth of who I am, I'm not hiding that anymore. I'm not thinking you won't love me because of that, because I didn't love me, not because of that, I love, I didn't love me for a whole bunch of reasons. But I have to take, if you're new and you're thinking, I don't know about all this shit with all these people, I don't, I'm, I'm just going to sit over here in the corner. We are waiting for you to reach out. We are waiting for you to tell the truth about what you did and what happened, and nobody in that room is going to look at you differently, I lied, we are going to look at you differently,

13:37we're going to look at you better if you take the risk to tell the truth. Every time I sit in a meeting and I hear somebody telling the truth, it reminds me of how important the truth is in my life, because I was a pathological liar, my mother was correct, I did, I lied even when the truth would have been sufficient. I tell the lie because I, because I knew that the truth got me every time. And so coming around here for a number of years, I've now come to some kind of a agreement with this truth and I know how important it is to absolutely tell the truth to the people in narcotics anonymous so they can do something about the things that I think about myself. Because drugs are the beginning of this, they are not the end game. I use drugs because of the way I thought about myself and the way I felt about myself. And until I take the risk to tell the truth about that, I'm never going to get better, I'm never, the drugs are always going to be the problem.

14:38And that's not the truth anymore, the drugs are not the problem. I've got a whole bunch of other problems that make me keep coming back. So thanks. Thanks, Barb. Thanks, Paul. Hey, Christine. Hey, you know, this is one of my all time favorite meditations and the just for today book, the full message. I love where it talks about in here that we dilute the fullness of our message by neglecting to share about the tough times that we walk through, like in recovery. You know, I mean, I know when I first got here, like I would lay it all out on the table, I was so desperate, I didn't give a flying fuck about anything like it was coming out. And the longer I was here, I went through a phase at like almost 20 years clean and where I was in a really bad place. And I actually had members of Narcotics Anonymous tell me that I was scared in the newcomers

15:43and that I needed to talk to my sponsor about that stuff that it just, you know, it wasn't hopeful. And that really like stuck with me for a long time. And it started making me feel like, okay, I need to share this, the message, not my message, not my message of truth and what my life is. And my full message, I'm, it scares me so bad we have so many people with time in our area that never, ever say I feel when they share their quote in the book, they're saying all these things that I've heard a million times and I'm just sitting there going, please say I feel, tell me what you're feeling right now, you know, because that gives me the courage to say what I'm feeling right now and what I'm going through, whether you have 30 days or 30 years, man, life fucking shows up.

16:45You don't reach a certain amount of time and then everything is perfect and beautiful and we know how to live life, you know, I still have a living problem. And the only way I can get better with that is to share what's really going on with me. I'm not always 100% with it because I do have a little scar from people telling me, hey, don't bring that in here. But the fullness of my message is what creates the fullness of my recovery. That's it. That's what we got. Thanks, Christine. I was looking at this too, thinking that when I got 12 step, that was how recovery was where I got clean, like everything was meeting material, you know, and that's still really important to me now, man, I kicked my stuff out. You know, I'm not, yeah, I'm going to do that, especially like Eric was talking about man, like when addiction hits me with you, don't talk about that, you know, like I know that's like, I need to make sure that I'm sharing that I'm sharing about that.

17:49And also, man, like, you know, you know what doesn't appeal to me now, like what doesn't talk to my spirit is when I hear people clean and I used to say like a long time, but really just at any like the time where it's, it's the highlight rule. It's like it's the Facebook, you know, to bring the Facebook into, to, to a meeting and that's it, I don't give a fuck, I don't connect with them, I don't, the message that I'm able to carry is like, yo, things are going really awesome and I'm still of service to other people, man, I'm still available to the new guy coming in and then things are really shitty and I'm still of service to other people and I'm still available to the new guy, like and I share all the time, there's times where I feel like I'm the worst father. I don't know what the fuck I'm doing, but this week, I feel, because I was hitting on all cylinders, man, like there's some wild shit, like my one boy got court, that doesn't make me a good father. I'm just saying, I mean, given the overview, the one boy got court, but the other boy just got accepted into, you know, to take some college classes and, and, and when he goes to

18:51a limit grade next year, the issues with her mom, navigating some friendship, all the, but to check this out, both boys this week came to me, one asked me if I could give him a hug and I held him for a little while, he was going, he's processing some shit, he's my real emotional one, and then the other one, and he even asked, this came up and gave me a hug and I held him for a little while too, because there's something like really heightened shit, you know, going on with it, maybe with their mom and all that stuff, but and I share about that, dude, I check in with my home group and I'm saying, hey, this is what's going on. It's cool to, and I'll say, and then we'll wrap this shit up, but it's one thing to be able to make it through something, you know, and look back and be like, yo, man, HP delivered on me, HP worked it out, and I'm good, it's just as important, like for me, man, it's just as important, it's like, I'm sharing that shit like, while I'm in it, like, while I'm in it, like, hey, man, like Barb talks about it, this unshakable faith, I'm aspiring to that, it doesn't feel good right now, it doesn't look good right now, maybe I'm in a big fucking storm, but the storm doesn't have to be in me, like, that's an awakening

19:53on my spirit, and that's where I'm trying to be. All right, thank you for spending your time with us today on the anonymous podcast, and so whether you're enjoying listening quietly or, you know, maybe you're having this desire to participate, just know that you're welcome, 100% you're welcome here, this is a safe space because addicts show up, willing to share, serve, and I'm looking for ways to focus on that magic six letter word, others, until next time, I'm your host Douglas L. Namaste, and God bless.