I Found My Wife's SECRET Diary After Her 'Work Trip' - What I Read Changed EVERYTHING | Reddit

0:00Okay, I have to tell you. I was just looking on eBay where I go for all kinds of things I love and there it was that hologram trading card One of the rarest the last one I needed for my set shiny like this designer handbag of my dreams one of a kind eBay had it and now everyone's asking oh Where'd you get your windshield wipers eBay has all the parts that fit my come on no more knowing Just beautiful Millions of finds each with a story eBay things people love Hey, it's Adam Grant from Ted's podcast work life and this episode is brought to you by service now AI is only as powerful as the platform it's built into That's why it's no surprise that more than 85% of the fortune 500 companies use the service now AI platform While other platforms duct tape tools together service now seamlessly unifies people data workflows and AI Connecting every corner of your business and with AI agents working together autonomously Anyone in any department can focus on the work that matters most learn how service now puts AI to work for people at service now dot com

1:08A password manager should be the first security purchase you make for your team Why because compromised passwords are the number one way bad actors attack companies and small businesses are their favorite targets But unlike a lot of security challenges passwords actually have a pretty simple solution one password Let's you manage all your businesses credentials so you can feel confident that your data stays secure as your company grows Find out more at onepassword dot com slash special offer and start securing every login Hey waffle gang, I do hope you're well My name is Mark and today we're checking it some more reddit stories and if you do love a reddit story Why not consider in the like subscribe made that notification belt to let's crack on with today's first story Much love guys now today's first story comes from icy warp from the relationship advice subreddit and it says I'm 99.99% sure my 35 male wife 33 female for 14 years has been cheating on me for years

2:17I'm completely broken and I lost for what to do I'm sorry in advance for the length of this I 35 male think that my wife 33 female is cheating on me and has been for many years We've been together for 14 years. We've been married for almost 10 and we have a five-year-old daughter together incident number one When my wife and I were in college where we first started dating We had an incident where she had some really sexually graphic text from a guy. We both knew from school She even had classes with him. I confronted her about the text I definitely didn't handle it well and basically accused her straight out of the gate as cheating on me without Realizing that there was some possible outs for her One of those outs was that she claimed that they were just some Pervy text that she got from this guy out of the blue and it if I had paid any attention when I was snooping through her phone That she hadn't actually responded to them At the time I conceded that I may have overlooked that possibility and I had overreacted

3:21She apologized to me for not mentioning to me that some guy was hitting on her like that and I apologize for overreacting and for snooping We moved on from there Incident number two pass forward to this last year my daughter wife and I are at the gas station I can tell my wife is kind of distant and detached from the interactions my daughter and I are having I Notice she's glued to her phone as well The gas fill for our car is on the passenger side and I have the rear passenger door open So I can tickle my daughter while I wait for the car to fill up I'm really suspicious of what my wife is doing at this point I decide that time going to take a look over my wife's shoulder from the back seat as what she's so caught up in Turns out she's actively slash in the moment sexting some guy like words description acts that seem very much like they've been doing this a while Texting and looking back with Twenty-twenty hindsight and fairly certain they had been fucking as well Also all the shit she was texting was super graphic shit stuff that she has never used with me

4:26Either in dirty talk or when we got intimate and I know this next admission is pathetic and that it shouldn't matter More than anything else, but the fact that she wanted to share in these acts with this man instead of me Really fucking hurt probably just my pride talking, but it is what it is So fast forward ten minutes when we get home and after suffer through smiling during dinner And the whole night time ritual of getting our daughter to bed So as not to cause a scene by blowing up at my wife for what I had seen her texting Honestly, that was probably a blessing because it allowed me to collect my thoughts before confronting her I ended up telling my wife what I saw at the gas station and right off the bat. She tries to play dumb What are you talking about honey? You're making no sense. I told her to not play dumb with me I recited some of the text that I could remember back to her to prove that I saw what I saw She then goes on to admit that it was a mistake But that it was 100% nothing physical and that she was really sorry She admitted that the guy was a work colleague, but we talked a lot that night about why she felt needed to be doing that

5:33A lot of it boiled down to her feeling depressed and lonely We talked about strategies that we could invoke at home things that we both could change to help mend the rift I guess things felt kind of okay after that, but it felt like the damage to our trust was already done And I don't think I've ever really recovered Even that seemingly small moment of infidelity Assuming that was only text was just a fucking hammer to my heart Ever since that incident from last year I've been waking up every day as a lesser version of my former self My motions and propensity to feel anything have been severely muted Interacting with my daughter is about the only thing that gets me back close to a baseline of how I remember my former self Beyond those precious moments, I'm just a walking grade out zombie that puts on a good face for pretty much everything my day today Going to work interacting with my wife, etc Most recent incident number three now fast forward to yesterday My wife has been gone on a week long work trip to the east coast

6:36Be a west coast I actually had zero suspicions or justifiable reasons to be worried for this trip because things have been going pretty well between us She hadn't really given off any indicators of suspicious behavior But my first group was that when she arrived at a destination She couldn't get the Wi-Fi working for FaceTime and this stayed true for the entirety of her trip First of all FaceTime works on cellular data just fine which we have a ridiculous amount of I explained that to her without much of a response Second, I know that if I were gone for a week from my family It'd be my biggest fucking priority to get FaceTime up and running So that I could see my family's face every time I call to visit Which would be every single night Which brings me to the next point She called us in the evening to say goodnight maybe two times out of the seven days that she was gone Based on previous trips she's has this was really strange Normally she is like clockwork touching in with us to share her day and to hear from us about our day

7:37And again always on FaceTime I asked her about that and she claimed that she was too tired in the evenings to get back to us Also in the past if she was away from me slash home She would always text me goodnight and that she loved me Even if we had previously chatted moments earlier on FaceTime or via phone call For this recent trip she never texted me once So when she got back my radar was on higher alert Now I don't feel good about this next part But she went to sleep that night I checked the travel bag to see if my suspicions were correct Sure enough to my surprise she kept this little red book as a diary in her work bag I opened it up and there was a date marked second of the 9th 15 Turns out she started writing a poem on that day about our daughter But just been born the previous four Okay, that's really sweet. I say to myself and I start feeling bad about my snooping Look to the next page and there's a new entry There's no date, but it's written sequentially right after a four-mentioned poem

8:38So I know that I described here was an entry that came after our daughter being born This non-dated entry starts off describing how much she longs for the specific person Doesn't give his name She goes on to talk about how she can't stop thinking about him Every man she sees reminds her of him She talks about how she never really intended for things to go very far But that one night that started in the bar and ended up going upstairs Just felt too right to not be something meaningful She goes on to say that she doesn't feel bad about making that decision in regard of how it impacts her other life She describes how she thinks maybe her other life was the mistake This goes on for pages the entry ends with her making peace with herself that he moved on from her And it was time for her to forget about him I'm assuming that her other life is our daughter and me There was only one more entry that I have to that previous one I took pictures of it and I've tucked it out here in his entirety It said I'm laughing to myself because I haven't opened this book in over two years

9:41And I'm here sitting in his bed in his room at his home Still feeling angst over so many of the same things I go home after having a week with him and I'll be asking the same questions Is he ever going to call again after? Was it so stupid to go on this trip? So funny how I thought we'd never speak again and look where I am We worked together we talked almost every day And he was there for me as a friend Now here I am and back with questions Why was he so hot and cold those first couple of days and then just tape it off Maybe he's doing that moral compass wrestling and after I leave we'll never speak again This trip was probably a bad idea But we had a lot of fun and he did say he's been looking forward to it He missed me he wanted this I know that I wish he would just tell me he wants me just me and always me It's like we dance around things because he still wants us to have this thing happening Despite the rest of my life and I just don't want to talk about that To the point that I'm lying and I hate lying to him

10:44But meanwhile every tender moment I have with him is so precious I can't believe it Couldn't imagine we'd actually be snuggling on the couch And there we were Opie continues after that saying I haven't slept since reading that last full entry I haven't confronted her yet either It's been almost 48 hours now without sleep And I'm just an emotional wreck I just don't know how to handle this situation I guess I've gotten so good at wrestling the zombie mask ever since incident number two happened And I've been able to limp through the last couple of days But it's getting really really hard to be around her I hopped online and read some guides on how to deal with infidelity And most of the guys mentioned therapy So I'm going to look into that tomorrow Just filing for the horse isn't so simple Our wife has a serious seizure disorder that is uncontrolled She can't tell when they're happening So that puts herself and possibly others To more kids especially Our daughter to be exact in danger I mentioned this as it pertains to custody

11:44Imagine she's making dinner for her in my daughter one evening And she has a seizure near the stove top And the house catches on fire While the only adult in the house is lying on the floor unconscious But what if my daughter has a medical emergency But then my wife has a seizure due to the stress of the situation These are very real possibilities And one that I fear could happen if she got custody in any way Some of those examples aren't too far from other real life incidents We've had over the years due to her seizure disorder She obviously can't drive But this fact that into a custody dispute I mean our daughter is starting kindergarten in a month How could my wife transport her? I don't know what I'm looking for with this whole rambling post Maybe just assurance that her gaslighting isn't working But what I've described isn't the workings of an overly paranoid mind I feel like one minute time ready to file for the horse in the next I want to try to salvage things for the sake of our daughter And just to avoid the awful mess that will be made in all three of our lives We end up separating

12:44Here's some other logistical details that seem important for anyone Who's managed to read this far We own a house together Have a mortgage And make about X amount per year She makes around X per year They were deleted the amount I'm afraid They have significant investments that we have joint control over That were given to us by her dad They total somewhere in the range of deleted in stocks and bonds I'm on wonderful terms with her parents and her family in general I've always been that son-in-law That was there for everyone to lend help No matter how small or large All of her immediate family is right here where we live Have zero family support from my side where we live My nearest friend is one and a half hours away Thanks for any help in advance And Edit says I left work today in order to start lining things up Have a lawyer lined up for this Friday That's the whole earliest I could find in my area It's just a consultation So I'm not sure what to expect from that one meeting alone Thanks everyone for all your pearls Especially your daggers

13:45I definitely needed some other perspectives I know it seems unbelievable that I could go on this long But I've been seriously gaslit for years now Just condition to it It's also a character floor of mine Who want to see the best in people I'm just so fucking scared of the unexpected god damn it I just hope she admits to it Is there any way she can twist us around on me I can vision of privacy We are WA state So I can't record me confronted her without her consent And I think you can probably guess Just from that edit in itself What people were saying to OP that Just needs to be done with this And you know I can understand where OP's coming from That you've been conditioned to it for this long Which I know seems really hard to believe Because no one deserves to be treated like that And people should just be able to get other relationships Easily when they've seen this happen to them But for me I always think it's a very easy thing to say for me To say behind the keyboard Especially when You know this person's living it They're fighting all these thoughts about what happens to their doors Or etc Which I know In the grand scheme of things

14:45They need to focus on themselves And getting themselves out Because they can't continue like this Because that trust was gone very early on in this story And there was no coming back from it I didn't think But OP adds on the marriage duration And says my brain has been mushed this week And I wasn't thinking straight with a math It didn't seem that important So I didn't really edit it out 35 33 Married for 8 Been together for 14 though That part's right Someone says are you planning to do a paternity test for your daughter As well as an STD check Maybe says of all the things I'm stressed and freaking out about That actually isn't one of them I thought it could not be a more perfect spitting image of me It's kind of crazy actually Even if she wasn't mine I'd fight tooth and nail for her Because she's still my kid Blood or not And yeah I'm gonna get an STD test Someone says you have proof of infidelity Maybe says how much proof is this though This is one thing that's gnawing at me The first incident happening Fucking 13 years ago The second is just he said she said And this last incident

15:46She could just make up any excuse she wants That's not my handwriting Oh I was just writing a short story novel etc etc Yeah I took pictures of the writing and books But seriously What good is it? About the seizures are a non-issue And then says I definitely get and accept all the bashing But I don't think some people are realizing How my psyche has been shaped over all these years She's had this horrible disability her whole life And it's played a major Major role in our relationship For both better and worse It's hard for me to just gun down That provider part of me That's been my life for these last many years Hi everyone This is Karine The voice of Simon Fairchild from the Magnus Arkies And today I want to talk to you about boost mobile Some things quietly drain you Like an expensive phone bill trapping your money month after month Here's a quick money tip Stop paying a carry attack When you bring your own phone And switch to boost mobile's $25 unlimited forever plan You can unlock up to $600 in savings That's money that belongs in your life Not trapped in a phone bill

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17:47So OP comes in with an update And says last update for a while Thanks you all for your support I can't even express how wonderful all of your advice and kind words have been I'm having a hard time getting back to all of you As this is kind of blown up But I'm just going to have to stop for now I post another thread with an update as needed Take care I met with my lawyer this morning and she was great She gave me a lot of confidence that I felt was draining away from me Throughout the week as I waited to confront I also had a good friend that was my rock throughout the week And I'll never be able to thank him enough I ended up confronting my wife right after the meeting with the lawyer I refused to give up any of my evidence I just said I know about the other guy I need you to talk about it I just kept repeating that line Well she went through crocodile tears and confusion about what I was talking about This is so fucking hard not giving up any of that information But I knew I had all the power in that situation In the end she never confessed I basically moved the conversation from there by saying

18:48Well it doesn't matter if you admit to what I already know or not Because the sexting that you did last year was enough to destroy any trust I had in you And I can no longer live life like this From there she just kind of shut down And became pretty docile I never brought back up this outrageous thing I was falsely accusing her of We pretty quickly moved into business like details about what to do in the short term The dad came over and picked her up and gave me a hug And said let us know if you need anything I fucking teared up right at that moment I'm not letting my guard down yet Because anything can happen But I think things may work out for the better for everyone involved I cannot thank everyone here on Redis enough for your thoughts, jabs, pearls of wisdom and funny comments You'll give me some serious wake up calls and support I'm forever in your debt Someone asked on the back of this does the family know Hope he says they don't know For the sake of being reasonable and just wanting this to be over I told my wife I'm on board with just telling our family We didn't love each other

19:48We think we make better parents and lives for ourselves not being together We haven't really talked yet about what we're gonna tell our daughter I will not be accepting her back if she does admit There is nothing salvageable here Someone says what happened during the confrontation Hope he says yeah, I'm over that part During the confrontation she actually tried to pull the What the fuck are you doing? Spying on me Having someone follow me I expected it But I just stared at her as she went into that mode Hope he also replied to a deleted comment Who says except she knows I have the evidence And I told her so I told her It was important to me that the relationship between me and your parents remained solid Now actually told you that I have the evidence That sounds a little more threatening than it actually sounded But I got my point across like clearly She didn't say much to that I think the conversation pivoted pretty quickly to something else And also I can't quite put my finger on it The way both of her parents reacted I wonder if they knew something or were expected in this to happen I'm not sure if it's just sort of odd to me that they reacted without knowing any context

20:52I don't know though They're both just really good people So maybe they'd just be thoughtful to their daughter and son-in-law I mean When he hugged you straight away I was I kind of thought he must know about the situation then To act that way towards you But maybe not Someone says to OP Is it possible that the wife's seizures contributed to it in fidelity Hope he says yeah I do realise that And I thought of that as a possible explanation for doing what she did But in the end I can't really know for a fact that's what happened And thus I'm just moving on from it because for my own sanity I can't be around at any more The infidelity not the seizures For sure it's a pretty high priority for me My hope or ideal scenario here Crossing my fingers is that she's just miserable with me for whatever reason And that I've done the thing that she's lacked the courage to do And the marriage She can find peace and happiness of her own That way she can be the best version of herself for our daughter To me that's the win-win I want to see out of this shitstorm And someone said about the cheating duration And says Wife was cheating for two plus years most likely

21:54I confronted her Things seemed amicable with our kid in the mix I was in a pretty bad place at the beginning of this week I'm doing better now So it was four months after this that OP came in With the final update And it says Just wanted to fill people in with where I'm at with everything Things are pretty good right now We obviously separated after I confronted her She still hasn't admitted to anything We sold the house and now I've got an apartment with my daughter More about custody later I'm actually having a blast making the space my own And it's nice having my own time to myself again I do have to say that I thought the loneliness would fade a bit faster But the feelings of desperation and not knowing what to do with myself are still pretty sharp I started working out a lot And I've also gotten back into writing and recording music again Which I haven't done in years As far as my ex goes I decided to keep things amicable as I could For my daughter's sake And I think it's the single best decision I've made throughout all of this bullshit

22:56By allowing myself to feel all of the emotions I needed to feel before confronting her I was able to keep rational and calm throughout all of this And it's really made all of the difference I can't imagine how awful things would have been on an emotional, legal and custodial level Had I just blown everything up when I confronted her I confided in a close few friends about the truth of the situation Just because I needed someone to talk about all of the bullshit to make sure I was acting accordingly But beyond that no other family knows the situation To everyone else We just separated for amicable reasons Her mum in particular is taking things pretty hard I feel bad for her She's struggling to understand what happened But that's on my ex to tell her not me A custody while we wait for the divorce to finalize Is that I get my daughter, Monday to Friday Since I'm the only one that can drive her to school My ex gets her Saturday and Sunday from 9 a.m. to 5 p.m My ex-accedures are predominantly in the evening And it's just not safe for our daughter to be there with her on her own

23:58At least not until she's older We're going to work that out and get those details in writing at some point here Anyway I'm feeling about 60% good and about 40% freak the fuck out That's how I'm on my own At 36, I have no idea how to approach the dating scene And my confidence is a bit shot to hell right now I mean for fuck's sake I haven't given serious consideration to another woman in over 14 years So I'm probably just going to wait for three to four months Where I get to know myself again Getting better shape and see how I feel after that Not try to put too much pressure on myself to find someone again If anyone else has any questions I'll try to answer them Thanks again for all your support I can honestly say that this wouldn't have turned out as well as it did Without your help everyone Take care Someone says Did your wife attempt to reconcile? Hopi says no attempt I made it clear when I confronted her that there was no hope of reconciliation Unless she confessed I never gave her any of the evidence I had I needed to see some real remorse too

25:00Not just regret that she got caught I haven't seen anything yet Someone says did you get a paternity test for your daughter? Hopi says I would if there was any doubt at all she was mine I'm not going to post a picture of course But she's a spitting image of me Zero doubts in that arena thankfully And even if she turned out not to me mine I would give zero fucks She's still my kid always will be I get it from a new her health history angle But again She's 100% mine And it was two years later Hopi just gave a little bonus one Which was titled Introducing new partner To my seven year old It just said I 37 male I'm looking for advice And tips on introducing my partner 36 female to my daughter All three of us are active people And I want to pick a neutral space for them to meet I was thinking the visit to the zoo might be fun Just looking to feel out If there are some common mistakes in pitfalls I could avoid And Hopi finished it all off With a little bit of cat tax At the same time And in the end

26:01I was really glad that Hopi's able to move on with life Find a new partner by the sounds of it And is just in a better place If you like after all that's gone on There was a part of me in it That was sort of like kind of I don't know if disappointed the right word But the fact that Hopi's taken basically Equal responsibility from anyone on the outside That the relationship has fallen apart I personally I'm not sure I'd be happy Taking on that responsibility People looking at me in that way Said oh you know Your relationship fell apart Blah blah blah Because YouTube didn't get on anymore It's like no That wasn't the case at all Especially when she just refuses to admit it at the same time Refuses to take any responsibility for it I mean why should I take on that shit I understand he's sentenced for the benefit of his daughter But still But what did you guys think At the end of this one How did this one make you feel Let us know your thoughts down in the comments Below And just a huge thank you for being here today Getting involved in the stories Your love, your support, your time

27:01It always means the absolute world to me Thank you so so much and hopefully I'll see you in the next one Take care And much love You Over 90 of the top 100 US accounting firms Trust Bill To simplify and secure bill pay That's proven financial infrastructure Built on over a trillion dollars of secure payments Visit bill.com slash proven for a special offer Youth mental health is a complex challenge That requires comprehensive solutions We must strengthen after school programs We must make digital literacy tools Available in our schools We must work with mental health professionals

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