How Your Emotional State Is Costing You Sales

0:00Quick heads up before we start. The Wastoday bootcamp is coming to Phoenix March 19th and 20th two days of advanced in-home sales training live role play Objection mastery and real-world reps that will change how you sell and communicate forever. If you've been listening but haven't stepped into the arena yet This is your move. Go lock in your seat today. Wastoday bootcamp dot We knock on the door Before our mouths ever open our body and face is already negotiating. If we walk in rushed irritated from the last fall Face tight just got flipped off or did some flipping off around the corner voice clipped we just signaled threat and competition in the other party. Welcome to the Wastoday podcast a podcast specifically for in about the home services industry as it relates to plumbing, heating, air conditioning and electrical.

1:06More than a podcast Wastoday is a credo a determination a mindset. It is a never-ending discipline. It is a refuse to lose pursuit. It is a wake up call every morning to waste no day. Now here's your host Brian Burton and Nate minute Hey, welcome to another episode of the Wastoday podcast your host Nate and Brian hanging out with you again looking forward to another good episode. This time we're going to be talking about how your emotional state affects your sales process and perhaps your sales outcomes. It's going to be a great conversation and I think it's going to be relevant to all of you who are looking to have a great day even when you're having a bad day internally. So before we get to that we're going to spend a little bit of time having a bit of an introduction and that's just going to be me and Brian today. So we're going to kick it over to him to start us off with a quote. One of the founding fathers quote unquote of modern psychology in the United States at least

2:11William James said the greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitude. Nice. I think so that's going to tie in nicely if I can say so with the attitude piece being so critical to what we're talking about. And you know being very frank I can tell you just my attitude from when I come home from work and walk through that door and how I interact with my kids and my family is significantly changed based upon how the day went if I let it right and that's the point about the attitude. Yeah and this one will touch a little bit more on probably well not probably but the external display of that attitude and its effect on sales negotiations training leadership conversations chats with the team interviews when our audience being either interviewing for a role or interviewing someone for

3:22a role. All is going to play into this big time today. Yeah and you're ready about that Brian I mean the attitude or emotional state the things that make our mind go up and down if you will strong and weak they affect so many areas and like more specifically all the people that surround us. You know I've been accused once or twice Brian about having RBF and I know that there can be a stigma associated with my face and how people feel about approaching me. And so if I want to be viewed differently I know that I have to go above and beyond like I have to be over compensated on welcoming or being a smile or just starting out for conversation because my natural bent and my natural look is not necessarily inclined to make people feel that way. Right. Resting bummer face I think you were frankly yes exactly. Right I've had a conversation with many of the men who still work there and a few women that started with A.O.B.

4:28Just Nate hate me or A.O.B. I know Nate doesn't like me and everything. What do you think you think his response would be if I asked him for this. And you know if it's something that's going to cost. Profit Dallas I might do he will rip your head off don't even bother. But you're you're exactly right there Brian and and that type of attitude even if it's unintentional the perception of the attitude can have an impact on people and the perception of the attitude even how I'm being perceived or feel like I'm being perceived can be influential as well. But I think today what we're going to be talking about at least in terms of the topic is the real swings like your real emotional swings. When you are feeling that high or when you're feeling low or discouraged or doubtful or depressed when you're feeling just kind of monotone and detached or disconnected from things. There's so many different variations of that and allow to its own devices that will have an impact on your outcomes.

5:28And if you're feeling bad about yourself or you're feeling negative about life. It's probably going to bleed over into your enthusiasm and presentation towards a client. And unfortunately that has a level of cascading events because what happens when you aren't making sales and having closing and having fun. You feel more depressed and when you feel depressed and I exactly looking forward to making more sales and getting more things done. And you look and smell depressed and the client can feel it and we talked about a remember what the university was that did the study or who the people were which is even worse because I don't care if the university gets credit but I love for the actual researchers to get credit where they put people in. Regular situations had them wearing t-shirts got them to sweat a little bit had some other people hooked up to FMRI machines just brain scan machines.

6:31And they had them smell the shirts and there was no real reaction in the brain and then they had people they were scaring like people who are afraid of heights on roller coasters and scary movies and that kind of thing. And they had them sweat in the shirts while they were scared and then they brought those shirts into the control group hooked up to the brain scan machines. And had them smell those t-shirts and their amygdala fired up cortisol started pumping stress yeah adrenaline and it proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that we can actually smell emotions and other people. And that's tough because we we feel like we can paint. If it's my line and all should be well and then we walk out and call our homies or our sales manager whatever I don't know what the problem is man I did everything right and it might feel like that but it's not the case because. It sucks to because I got where we look just one more one more thing stacked against the guy who's out there trying to crush it.

7:34For his family and his team and his client and there's just one more thing stacked against us and now the more we dig the more we realize you can't even fake positivity it just has to be there right. Which is why it's so important like in the in the GoPro selling system that we teach in blue collar closer dot com at the waist no day boot camp march nineteen and twenty twenty six in Phoenix waist no day boot camp dot com if you don't have your ticket yet get up in there if it's not too late if it's full there will be another one. Be one of those people who's made the wait list and hope you don't get stuck on this on the next one which has happened before. So hurry up and get their waist no day boot camp dot com or blue collar closer dot com check out the online version and gratitude to the number one piece right it all starts and ends with genuine levels of felt real gratitude.

8:37And it's role play we role play how we do this with gratitude because it has to feel real in the group setting so in the team has to feel real to the person that you're practicing on. And when you get in the home it has to be real right so one of the role play games we do with gratitude gratitude gauntlet is I'll start and let's say there's fifteen. People in the room I'll say Siri give me a number between one and fifteen and that numbers four and it's Nate. I'm like Nate come on up and Nate walks up and I look at Nate we'll just do it and I'll say Nate there are some things I appreciate about you bro. I really enjoy having you as part of this team in this case we'll say the waist no day team which is you know two of us. And that is not three of us weren't snuggled up in the passenger seat right you listening are as big a part of waist no day team is dating me. And that is one your level nature right I mean there are times we'll have a little chitchat before the episode and I'll find out Nate's in a bad mood or just having a rough day not feeling it today right.

9:50As soon as the mic pipes up and the headphones go hot it's over he just he turns it off and he turns on. I'm here for the person in the driver's seat of this truck that we're cruising in right I'm here to bring as much info as possible to make the day of the technician. C S R dispatcher part runner apprentice salesperson owner manager is much value to you for the next hours humanly possible right and it was never any different when we worked together in the same building for all those years. Where I could go in his office and see struggling and I would take a couple shots at him because that's usually what loosens Nate up bring him down a peg I've learned. But I put the business had on him like we got chat about this and you just snap to and you get it done and you're always very level even killed always and you're a frickin workhorse man I specially appreciate the fact that.

10:53You are a grinder to the end degree like you have a weight at all times of the things that you're responsible for and supposed to get done and you can't hardly breathe. Until those things are done and you need them done. At the highest possible quality level you can do them so I appreciate all the time I've been a partner with you. And on the show and in business and a friend and can't wait to see you coming up here in April it's going to be a great time. We might even bomb Ben Franklin in a one real quick for some photo ops and there's a meet and greets and handshakes and kissing babies. I can't wait I'm pumped and I really appreciate you being part of this team part of the other the Lancaster team and part of my small circle of close friends. Now that's a role play exercise. But did you feel like I meant that. I did I'm a blushing over here Academy award level acting over here hot yeah class is to be able to do that stop right stop it's too much.

11:59Go on go on. Yeah so this is the exercise right and then Nate and I are done because I don't usually have the other person do it to me. Because that feels pretty self serving me. All right it's all of your turn to do me now. So I'll turn it over and usually with the first couple I'll let Siri pick the first two that are coming up. They'll come up and they have to do it for each other right genuine gratitude we all have to feel it we all have to believe it's real. There are people that will be up there that have beef in some way shape or form from time to time. But guess what you get to do as a grown up in that moment. Settle it. No we're not here to settle. Yeah well put it offline put it aside. It's a better way to say exactly like you will with the client. If you are happened to be like a winner in a Michigan Wolverine fan and they're like a loser and Ohio State fan.

13:01Got one of those thrown in the in a review recently said even for a Michigan fan Brian's still pretty good. Yeah so you're stepping over the yard sign of the anti team for you the enemy team and you push it off to the side. Now you might bring it up as part of the warm up process right but whether you do or don't doesn't matter and what's the real one now political parties. Right this is the real tense one that I'll say when I was in a truck. I had my leaning and my clients had their leaning wasn't nearly as militant as it is today right it wasn't as polarizing but. Yeah so you shoulder the burden of adulthood in the conversation with the client because we know we have a job to do like we have a mission to accomplish right. So I just put it on my shoulders to say that I'm going to humble myself in their home they call me out for service and I am in the service industry my job is to serve.

14:11So put it off to the side and in the same way when we do the gratitude gauntlet role play game you have to put your differences aside and you actually have to stand there. Looking at someone you might be a little upset with and you have to push through and see a reason that you're grateful that they're on the team right. And that can be a manager because they're in the room to and they and they have to be part of the game as well right. So you can have that one manager you just can't stand but guess what doesn't matter you're going to do the exercise and you're going to role play like the rest of us and you're going to be a grown up and swallow it down. Or if it's so clear that it has to be worked out then you guys are going to hang somewhere in the shop afterwards and talk to it right. But you get the genuine gratitude out in the whole team hopefully before everybody leaves and this is the way we're walking out of the shop. And the mindset switch is a flip is like a light switch.

15:13We're feeling a different way coming out. And it does it works the same way with the client in the beginning they're not going to look at you and give you a bunch of gratitude back most of the time right. But you feel so much better for having done that to them and see the reaction that it causes in them. And that reaction can be outright like holy moly there been several times where women have cried while I'm giving my gratitude. I think it was all the same which where it was like one kid with a full diaper on her arm screaming and two toddlers destroying everything toys everywhere trying to cook. And she looks stressed out and I would just start with it was like the second time I ever did it to which helped so much. And it just made me think of my mom in southwest Detroit with no no dad around in a second floor absolute crap hole apartment one bedroom she sleeps on the couch we got bunk beds in the bedroom.

16:21And we're like 10 year old I mean energy balls like we're like puppies. And anytime we make a noise the old lady downstairs would take a broom and start smashing it into her ceiling. Yeah, I think we had to be quite a handful for mom right. But you know she was cool and she she handled it so when I see somebody going through that I got a soft spot. And I tell them like can't say I know what you're going through but I've certainly seen it firsthand and my mom who raised me and my brother and so on and so forth. And I just want to tell you that I appreciate everything that you're having to juggle right now and then the fact that you're going to add me being here and doing this job to the list. And I'm going to make sure that it's as low stress as possible for you. Just pick the top option and endorse here.

17:21Right, I'm going to make sure it's as low stress as possible for you if there's anything I can do to make life a little bit easier while I'm here. I don't care what it is. I'll run out and get groceries like whatever just don't hesitate to ask police. And they really appreciate that and a couple of times cried while I did that. It's made me regret it now I want to leave. Do well with tears. So yeah, that's one way and that's why it's so important in in our training program or our selling system to go pro system. It starts with gratitude ends with gratitude. It's the most important part of it because it. It changes the relationship and the client. Most of the time, but more importantly changes me going into shifts. What my mindset is from whatever it was to gratitude and you can't be in a better zone than the gratitude zone. Yeah, so good Ryan and thank you for the compliments and also for starting the episode off on just a really great perspective of things.

18:26In fact, let's continue down on that pathway by taking time to highlight somebody who has expressed that gratitude in a public matter. We always like highlighting those reviews not only for the selfish part of how it makes us feel, but also because it shares a story. There's that there's that. And the story telling piece is for you, the listener, to hear how other people's lives have been impacted by different episodes and. This is an encouragement to you to keep on keeping on so Brian, who are we promoting in the spotlight today? It's going to feel a little redundant, but the title of the review is five star. Five star. Okay, I got you. Unbeatable content. Period. B-L-A-I-L-L-2. B-L-A-L-2. I'm short but sweet. Yeah, appreciate it. We agree. It's unbeatable. One of the guys in our, I shot a, Jaco will link Instagram video into our plumbing group chat earlier. One of the guys was like, Jaco is the best.

19:27I was like, All right, fine. We're two and three. It was such a good video. I wish I could play it on here, but you know, the platforms get a little weird when we place, just play somebody else's content. But great video. I'm going to throw it in the waste no day Facebook group. If you're in there, check it out. I'll throw it in there. That would have been posted February 18th, if I remember to throw it in time. Well, we appreciate the review. And of course, we continue to challenge ourselves and love hearing the challenges from you to keep producing unbeatable content. Speaking of that, let's jump into the rest of the show. As we continue the conversation around how your feelings are affecting your day, your sales, your presentation, and your ability to influence that outcome. So Brian, one of the things that comes to mind when I think about this was actually an episode that we did with David JP Phillips back on February 24th of 2025. And the title was Trigger the Right Emotions for Game Changing Sales Communication.

20:30Angel's content. So one of my favorites from an interviewer's perspective, episode 235. And it was just an hour long of a dude analyzing Brian and I in the interview process, which may be super nervous because this guy is like reading me like a book. And we were doing a video. I don't think we actually had the video recording, but we were doing the podcast via video. And so he could see us. We could see him. And you know, he was just dialoguing about all these different ways of presenting and how your body language, your tonality, your face is communicating far, far, far more than your words are. And the one concept that made me think of that trigger this for me was, and I forget the word, but is a certain type of smile. Do you remember what it was, Brian? Duquesne smile. Duquesne smile. And essentially it's the ability to smile. Yes, that smile looks real, right?

21:30And I know you've pointed this out before, Brian, like when you look at somebody's pictures or family pictures or whatever, and you see people smiling. If you see the wrinkles next to the eyes, you can tell they are genuinely smiling, like generally happy in that moment. If you just see the teeth or you just see the curve of the lips and just flat eyes, I don't know that's a perfect science, but it's certainly a pretty good indicator. It's pretty noticeable. There's a tell. Yeah. And if you start looking at family, you know how family pictures are. Bro, you got four kids. Oh, yeah. We know it's like you've gotten everybody dressed, it's like after church and lunch. And we got this three o'clock appointment at the photographer. Everybody's tired and full and done with this day. And mom was trying to corral everybody and everybody's getting a little attitude. And we're snapping at people like, do what mom said. And then we all face forward to the camera. And the guys like, you know, they try to say say Phoenix.

22:33You know, they always try to do their own things. She isn't good enough anymore. And everybody just does like a cheese. And our lips move outward and upward. But our eyes don't move. And you can look at people's pictures and see it. And it looks almost off putting, like just keep a regular straight face. Right? Or if you got a really good photographer, he'll make fun of dad. Right? Like take a shot at dad that makes everybody laugh. And what happens when our whole family laughs to us, even if it's about us, we laugh too. Because biggest gift we're getting is the entire crew is having a great time. Right? Even if it costs us a little ego. So good photographer will get a real laugh out of the team. But it's not an easy thing, right? So you can see it. And if you start to look for it, you'll notice it. So yeah, great point. We were training on this a little bit with the team Monday.

23:34And we talked a little bit about it on Wizer Wednesday. And Eddie Rearman, one of our texts on the Phoenix team, brought it up. We weren't talking about that. We were just going through this study that I was reading. And he brought it up. It's like David JP Phillips said, introduce the angels cocktail, which is oxytocin, maybe a little adrenaline. And to do that, you remember what he said. His biggest one is, was it look at a, like look at a family photo, I think. Yeah. Picks of the kids. Family photos. Yeah. Yeah. And I tried to do the same thing because I trained with him a little bit before the first boot camp. And it, it definitely worked that first time. And then it didn't work anymore. I almost felt like I know what you're trying to do in my brain. I see what you're trying to do. It's like he called the other one, the devil's cocktail, which is cortisol. Really probably a cortisol and adrenaline mix.

24:35But stress and anxiety. It goes the other way. It's very difficult to read as genuine grateful, happy positive. If your brain is full of stress hormone. So yeah, introducing the angels cocktail, family photos. We're getting a little bit ahead of ourselves for sure. But I was asking, I had each person in the meeting come up with one thing they can do. Or do do to introduce the angels cocktail in their own head. And past review was a big one. People go find a certain review they remember. And when you read that review, oftentimes it puts you back in that place. Because our brains don't really, they actually don't really know the difference between being there and reading about it or being there and watching a video about it. It just goes into that feeling again.

25:36Almost as if we're there, right? And some people had a certain music they'd listen to. Some people are like a waste no day episode. A YouTube video and audio book. What have you? But you do want to have something that's your trigger to get you in a positive mental state. And some guys even said in this, I was, I could fall along these lines too. The biggest payday I ever had in a truck, right? And for a long time, it was $1,600 I made in a day. And that was a big day. And I would think back to that day because that day I called my mentor at the end of the day. And I couldn't wait to get home and tell my wife. And usually I told her on the phone throughout the day, like drive time and whatever. What I was doing, but that day I didn't, we just didn't communicate. She got to come home and tell her I broke the record. And that was a fun day.

26:36It's an awesome day. Like every client and I just saw eye to eye and lined up perfectly. And I got everything installed in the same day. And it was just, it's a beautiful day, right? So that was one that stuck for me. But you have to have your angel's cocktail triggers, if you will. But the question for today is how much money has your face, your voice, your tonality, your body language cost you this year so far, right? Not your pricing, not your script slash lack of a script, not your closing questions, but your face, your tonality, and body language. Your emotional, I don't know, temperature. When you walked into someone's home. And the reason this is coming up today is because I ran into a study from 06 by a researcher named Shirley Copelman from the University of Michigan.

27:44Go Blue, hell of the pictures. Called strategic days, a strategic displays of positive, negative, and neutral emotions in negotiations, strategic displays of positive, negative, and neutral emotions in negotiations. And it was publicized in the organizational behavior and human decision processes or something like that, like a legit psychological publication. And it looked at how emotional expressions of the salesperson or the person hosting the negotiation changes the outcome in negotiation and bargaining situations. Not the words, not the data, not the prices, the emotions displayed by the person leading.

28:44So they had negotiators intentionally display positive emotion, negative emotion, right, like frustration, or just neutral, like ice cold, right? So they had a poker face during structured negotiations. And what they found, I thought, was fascinating, obvious, and practical, more importantly than anything, for what we do in the home services. So when the salespeople or negotiators displayed positive emotion overall, the client became more cooperative, and the joint outcome improved. More overall value was created and felt. When they displayed negative emotion, the other side became more defensive, and more competitive. So even when sales still happened from the frustrated party, which were way lower, even when they did happen, they sold at lower prices, and the other party had negotiated for more free services, extra upgrades and perks to be thrown in.

30:02So less value existed, they wanted more bang for their buck, they wanted to pay less bucks and get more bang for it. I know what you're thinking, you're like, Brian, you don't get it, my clients are just different here. We know, it's not you. But let's just keep going in the data. So less value existed, so the client wanted more bang for less buck. Neutral, the neutral emotion party kept things transactional, right? So you give me this, I give you that, still lower sales than the positives, but more than the negative. But it didn't inspire like their summary of it was like it didn't inspire creativity or collaboration toward solving the problem or achieving the goal of the client party. So how do we take that out of the university lab and drop it into the kitchen of our clients, right?

31:05Water heaters leaking, there's water on the basement floor or garage floor, homeowners stressed, maybe even embarrassed, maybe worried about the amount of money that you're about to ask them for. We knock on the door before our mouths ever open, our body and face is already negotiating. If we walk in rushed, irritated from the last call, face tight, just got flipped off or did some flipping off around the corner, voice clipped, we just signaled threat and competition in the other party. And that's not everybody. If you're in blue collar clothes or you've been to a boot camp and you know the core personality profiles, which is the four main buckets. We put our own personalities and our clients personalities in core stands for CEO optimist reassurer engineer, like the CEO personality type and the engineer personality type.

32:14They're going to be the competitive ones that you'll still very likely sell them in this high frustration mode, they'll still probably buy, but they're going to push back a lot. The chief in particular that the CEO is going to get really into a game of tug of war with you. And if he feels like he wins at the end, he's probably still going to buy, but it's going to cost you all your commission, right? And the company's making nothing on this shot. The engineer can be fight or flight. They're always happy to have a tug of war. But they'll get so detailed oriented because what did Chris Voss say about your main negotiating type. It's not who you walk around as all day every day. It's who you are when you get, remember Nate? Angry, punched into mouth. He said it on episode 100 away. And in the book many times it's who you are when you get punched in the mouth. Right. It's when the stress cord is all goes up.

33:16And that's the personality you retreat to. So there's three things the personalities will do as they say and never split the difference. Fight, flight or make friends, right? Now the reassurer, our kindergarten teacher, Kathy Comfort, her avatar name is in the Blue Collar Closer group. She's a flight person. The reassurer is such that if she feels threatened, she's bailing. She's out. She's not going back and forth with you. She's not doing it. She's going to be very polite, minimize what she might hear. She might feel as a threat or nervousness, be very overly kind. Tell you how excited he or she is about the opportunity and give you four different versions of, I'm going to think about this and get back to you. And that person is not going to get back to you.

34:17And you think you did everything right. What we're finding out that our smell may have been enough, right? A little cord is all almost an accident on the way to the job. And in our sweat is screaming threat, right? Amygdala's firing. Ah, I don't know what's going on. So it's tough and the deck stacked against us. This is why it's very difficult to be great at this. But my goodness is it worth it, right? Having two conversations today with one dude making several hundred thousand his first year in a truck last year and Brent Buckley, who has made over a million in commission many times in a year in a truck. And to separate yourself from average in this field is highly worth learning, understanding, and implementing all these things and becoming this, just becoming bulletproof.

35:21But it's not easy. So the homeowner very likely doesn't consciously think anything, but their nervous system does. Shoulders tighten a little. Arms fold a little while it closes a little. And we've just reduced the size of the pie before we've even presented options. Right? It's getting smaller and smaller. And if we walk in calm, grounded, warm, genuine, confident, without trying to fake anything, which they also pick up on, something completely different happens. They loosen up their body language opens. Right? They're breathing slows and their posture just gets softer and more laid back. You know how it is. And the brain doesn't shift into fight or flight, fight, flight or freeze, right?

36:21It moves into problem solving. Goal hitting. Decisive motivation talk. This is tested biology. Barbara Fredrickson's broadened and build theory explains that positive emotion literally broadens cognitive scope. So people think more clearly and creatively. We see more possibilities than we did in any other mental state. We collaborate more and in a home service environment. That means both parties are more open to long term solutions instead of band-aid repairs. Right? When we're into band-aid, just fix it and we'll worry about it down the road. We know for a fact that if we're in a negative mind state or in a threat into mind state, we're more close minded.

37:21So get them in that positive state and we're more willing to consider replacement instead of short-term patching. We're more likely to see financing as a tool instead of a threat. Right? Because we're thinking more clearly and our scope is broadened. And what Shirley Coleman's data also showed emotional displays changed. How people interpreted intent. So when someone displayed a negative emotion, the other party assumed selfish motives with anything they were asking for. And when somebody displayed positive gratitude genuine emotion, the other party assumed cooperative motives. So motives that were beneficial to both of us. So you can say, I'm just trying to help you. But if your face and tone is that of someone who's annoyed,

38:25it doesn't matter what you say. It doesn't matter what the words coming out are saying. Something deep inside your client doesn't believe you. The emotional signal overrides the words being spoken by a long shot. And you've seen it on calls, right? We've all seen this on calls. And even ourselves as a tech who knows everything about what we're looking about, diagnosis it perfectly, build super clean solutions. And everything feels like it goes perfectly. And we weren't even close when it came time to ask for the order, right? And it's not because we didn't know the right words to say, right? Everything went well. It's because the emotional temperature in the room never moved into safety and trust and collaboration. And we are the thermostat in the home.

39:27It's on me. It can't be left to the homeowner. So we have to set that emotional climate. We have to take utter responsibility for that emotional climate. And here's the tough part, man. I still get this call from season to text. I've made this call laid into my career. Where it's like, yeah, nothing's happening here, man. Dude, he was a jerk from the second I walked in. It's like, oh, he didn't do the Peter from family guy thing. That's great. Great episode. Dude knocks on the door. Lois is like, it's a salesman. Peter, we're not buying anything. And he's like, no, we're not buying anything. Open the door. All right, salesman. What do you sell it? The guy says it's how to clean this up. It's one piece pajamas. But the back opens fully. So never again, will you have to choose between being warm and pooping

40:31and Peter pulls out a check, hands it to the guy, because write any number on this, sir, and I will pay it. Love that part. You're never going to run into Peter from family guy, because your product is so perfect, right? We have to build the client's emotional state. And sometimes we're starting two inches from the finish line. And sometimes we're starting in the parking lot behind the starting one. But here's the thing. Your job is to set the temperature in the room and get the client over to buying mode. That's your job. So just casually spend in 16 minutes in a call and come in with your reasons it was impossible. It's just saying you were too lazy to do your job today. That's all there is to it. So we set the emotional climate. Clients just don't buy extra plumbing,

41:33HVAC electrical things that they don't have to have this second. They buy relief, right? They buy future happiness. And at the end of the day, when it comes from us personally, they buy confidence. They buy the feeling that someone competent and emotionally stable has the situation under control. And if you can't self-regulate your emotions, you can't regulate the clients. Like how could you? You're so caught up in yourself. Appreciate what you're saying there, Brian. And it makes me think of a conversation that I have with one of our comfort advisors lately. Yeah, throw them into the bus, bro. Now his name is Troy. And he's a fantastic part of our team. He's coming up on a year this spring. And he had a fantastic year last year. His first time selling HVAC equipment, but he had been in sales previously. But actually before that, he and his wife toured on drama.

42:34They did musicals and plays around the country. Like professionally, this was his job. And so he's a well-skilled actor and has the ability to convey emotion and all these types of things. And you know, something that I completely do not possess, emotion as a concept is far into me, much less actually doing it on command, which he can do. But anyways, the reason I'm bringing it up is because he was, I was just talking to him about his career and like some of the cool things that he did and asking him what his favorite musical was or his favorite production was and all this. And then he brought up the fact that there was a time when he was doing a tour for a production, I don't remember the name of it. And they were doing a tour like at the end of 2020, moving in 2021. And I don't know if you remember 2020, there was a lot of things going on, a lot of racial overtones occurring in the news, a lot of news cycles relevant to that. And in the play, his character was racist.

43:36Like his character was racist in the play. And they did this tour in a climate that was very volatile around this particular subject and his character was racist. At the end of the show, when if you've ever been to a production, what do they do at the end of the show, all the actors come out and everybody's clapping or standing in avation, and typically if they do some level of, the minor actors come out first and then it kind of builds and crescendos to get to the major actors at the very end. And that's usually when the loudest applause is occurring. When he did his curtain call, he got booed. Not his character, he got booed because the audience was unable to separate his character on stage with him as an actor, simply conducting the lines and the behaviors of that character.

44:37He got booed. It was legitimately booing against him, not his character against him. And the reason I bring this up is because this is what we are talking about today. People receive however you are acting as actually you. And if you are being perceived as upset or frustrated, angry, annoyed, disgruntled, bothered by them, their house, their problem, their situation, they are going to hold that against you, not you the actor, but against you, and will have a negative outcome. The inverse of that is also true, which is what Brian was talking about when he was being very kind and gracious to me, which is regardless of how I am currently feeling. If I can act my way through an episode and on the other side of the episode, the listeners are benefited and nobody necessarily knows what I was thinking about

45:39or feeling or how my day was or what issue I was struggling with personally at that time. But I was able to portray the same level of excitement and enthusiasm that hopefully we bring every week to you. That is what you receive. You receive that perception as truth, which is one of the most powerful statements. Your perception is your truth, becomes your truth, even if it is not actually true. What you perceive to be true is true to you. And so I want that it struck me as like a nice parallel to what we're talking about today, that how you are acting, behaving in the home, whether it's real or not, is how the homeowner is perceiving you, and that is what they are going to register as real for them. And for you, you will register as real. I was reading in psychology today looking for articles on, and that would say faking, like manufacturing positivity, not faking, but like causing it in yourself

46:41when it didn't naturally exist. And that was, so I did a lot of reading on this Sunday evening and then Monday morning train our team and Phoenix on it. And then Tuesday evening was trying to read some more on it before I did a little presenting on it in Wizer Wednesday. And then later today did a little bit more reading as I'm like, I'm turning us into a waste of day episode. And I remember where I came across it, but it was like, and I want to butcher the quote, but I don't know who said it anyway, so I guess they'll forgive me. But it was, we tend to think that our brains and bodies are wired in such a way that we smile when we're happy. But all through the psychology papers and studies that I could find, they argued that our bodily states influence our emotions.

47:42As much or more oftentimes than our emotions influence our bodily states. And the quote that I'm saying was, it's not that we smile because we're happy. Oftentimes we will become happy because we smile. And I remember reading that and going like, oh, can't be that simple though, right? And got myself in a somewhat, not necessarily stressful conversation that could have easily been stressful at the shop today after I read that. And I started the conversation with a big smile that didn't belong there whatsoever. Like, it just didn't make any sense. And I said, what do I care? Like, what do I have to lose? I'm doing it. Eardier, baby. Squintin, ducane, eye creases, crow's feet, the whole nine. Yo, what's happening, right? And I felt happy. I was like, son of a b, that worked. And then I looked at the other person. And so were they. And then there was another person in the room. And that person was smiling too.

48:42And I was like, well, there you go. There you go. Yeah, it works. See, we don't just smile because we're happy. Oftentimes we feel happy because we smiled. And we changed the physiology and the motion follows, right? And that matters for texts and sales advisers driving to our fourth or fifth call today after two callbacks on somebody else. A tire kicker who wasn't even there and just said email me the quotes and a cancellation that took you an hour and 15 minutes to get to. And you're just in that rut of like, man, you could give me the best call on Earth right now. And it's a block over for my house. I'm going to struggle to be excited about it. Because we run out of tank. And that tank gets filled by sleep. And when that tank is on e, most of the time

49:42we need sleep like a night off to refill that tank, especially when it's in ultra negative day. So maybe if we sit in our van replaying the last one that didn't close, the waste of two hours of driving, well, our shoulders tighten. And our jaw tightens up, right? And we get a little anxiety and a little cortisol spike. And we start priming our nervous system for more irritation. And then, and this is why the Matthew principle is so real, right? It's like, we go out and cause more of it. By the way, we look, sound and feel to the people we're interacting with. And we knock on that door carrying that emotional state. And we get it right back from the client. That's why when somebody's on fire, like selling everything they touch, it's like, you know, it's like, you know,

50:43if you're on fire, like selling everything they touch, you throw them as many calls as possible. Because they're in that mood and they cause that mood and other people. Or we can interrupt it, right? We can throw in the angel's cocktail, David JP Phillips, and we can look at the picture of the family and see, yes, I remember that time, it makes me happy. Or yes, this is why I do this. This is why I'm getting ready to go to this next one. Who cares what happened on the last one? I'm not taking this with me. I've done this too many times. For too many years I did that. And it's not happening today, right? So I had certain things I could play. The 21 Great Ways to Be a Sales Superstar. It's a YouTube video now by Brian Tracy. 21 Great Ways to Be a Sales Superstars in Hour. It was the little clip of Brian Tracy's like nine-hour audiobook

51:44to psychology of selling that my mentor made me listen to a hundred times straight before he would give me another audiobook. That was funny because I just had sticky notes, you know? And one, two, three, four, cross. One, two, three, four, cross. 20 of those. And I brought in these sticky notes with the Roman numerals. 20, 25 pieces, right? And the tape. And handed them the tape like I'm finished. And then I handed them the sticky notes thinking like he was going to open them up and count them. Right in the trash. Like dang it. Denny opened the front opening plastic briefcase. That was his cassette tape storage unit. And I see like a hundred tapes. I'm like, are you serious? But it did something to me. And maybe it was the nostalgia of that time because it was like my first few months in a truck

52:44at Ken Goodrich's Operation Yes Plumbing in Las Vegas. And it was that tape and that time was what made me fall in love with the concept of professional salesmanship and being a professional communicator and realizing that I could become so good at communicating that I could make you feel the way that I feel about a product that you don't know anything about. Even though when I get there, you're defensive. Right? I'm so pumped about this thing that I can make you pumped about it if I say the right things and I act the right way. And I loved it. I thought this was the coolest concept ever. And then I could get paid to do this on top of it. He got me kidding me. It's too easy, right? I would find out quickly this. Easy was the one thing it wasn't going to be. But all the other positive things were there for sure. Easy was not.

53:44But yes, you get your passion back. Watch a short clip that makes you laugh every time or one that I used before the second bootcamp was like, Britain's got talent or something. This little British girl who's just adorable and just shy. Like there's no way she's going to get up here and sing. And she freaking belts this song out. And the whole audience is crying and all the judges are bawling. And I don't know the show. I don't watch it, but my wife and daughters made me watch this video one time. And I was just like, I was like, oh, almost choked up. If I was a cryer, if I wasn't so stoic, then I'd have been bawling then. But my wife and both of my little girls are getting up here watching it, probably for the 30th time showing me. And then they immediately like boom, they have these buttons they hit and the confetti comes out like you won the golden whatever,

54:45like you're guaranteed in just like that. And she's bawling and mom's bawling and like, it was great, great video. And that made me feel something. And the fact that I watched it at my kitchen island with my wife and two youngest daughters who are emotional about it, watching it now creates that moment again for me. So the moment itself and the video is great and where I first watched it was great. So it creates all those things. And you're going to have to find the one that does that for you, right? The thing that does some of these things for you and have them at your disposal and really be able to jar yourself, rock yourself to the core with positivity. And I still think gratitude is easy as it gets, right? But you got to come up with some genuine gratitude to make it happen. So yeah. And then it shifts your emotional state, shifts your breathing, shifts your posture. And then you go in in a completely different mindset and the client treats you completely differently

55:48than they would have otherwise. And that's the part early in a sales career, certainly for me, but for people I train as well, that we don't like to give a lot of credence to, is that doing a causes b. It just does. So I can completely shift my mindset, my emotional state, and it will cause the client to treat me a different way from the handshake, so that if I'm getting a lot of clients who are treating me a way that I don't like, there's a tough part. It's my fault. I'm causing it, because I have to be, like David Sandler said, the old sales trainer, sales is a Broadway show put on by a psychologist. You have to be a skilled actor and a shrink to be high level at this thing.

56:48But you want to be high level at this thing, right? Or why bother? So, and it's not just sales, like I said in the beginning, it's leadership, whether we run a team, or just have an apprentice, our default setting is visible frustration, sarcasm, eye rolls, constant pressure without warmth. Well, then our team or apprentice or what have you will negotiate defensively with us, and everything is them feeling like they need to watch their back, and they'll hide mistakes and weaknesses, and they won't be able to get better, and avoid ownership, because ownership with a poor leader is expensive, so they protect themselves instead of stretching beyond their current capability, leading with controlled positivity has the opposite effect, high standards, psychological safety, without lowering expectations, and that combination produces performance.

57:48Well, I think that's a great place to wrap it up, Brian, and this has been a good reminder to us how your emotions can either fund your paycheck or they can cost you your clients. They can either work for you or they can work against you, and the ability to manage and control your emotions in so many ways influences not only who you are, but who people think you are, and your ability to then have successful outcomes in all areas of your life. I can tell you that I aim to be a steady, consistent father, a steady, consistent husband, a steady, consistent manager, a steady, consistent community member. I want that in my life, because it's important, and while sometimes the high highs, you know, I probably miss out on, but I'm also going to miss out on the low lows. For those of you who are having erratic swings or allowing whatever the predominant emotion of the day is

58:48to influence you, proceed with caution. It could end up costing you. Hopefully you pointed that out in many different ways about the impacts of that today on this episode, and we'd sure love to hear from you about which piece of it stood out to you as something that either you have found and learned or something that you could improve on and would like to be challenged in. We'd love to hear your feedback and share this episode around as you feel worthy to hear or to have somebody else here by the content in it. We'd love to hear their feedback as well. We're going to leave it now with our weekly challenge, which continues to be the same, to choose to wake up, and reminder about that choose part, to choose to wake up, each and every morning, and waste no day. We'll see you next time.