How to Make Friends With Jorden & Aleena

0:00Hi. Welcome back to the podcast. We have Alina on today. Say hi Alina. Hi. Thanks. Today we're going to talk about making friends. In our program, we get asked a lot of questions by you who are trying to better themselves. And one of them is how do I make friends? I think that that's a great question. Sometimes the world we live in can feel very isolating with social media and the lack of third spaces and things like that. It can kind of feel like the only way to make friends is through, I guess, like school. And we just want to talk about out of my friends. So I made a little list of ways to make friends. And I guess I wanted to ask you, Alina, do you want to start by telling us your experience with youth in the program that would

1:02like to make friends? Sure. Yeah. I had a youth ask, you know, sometimes at the end of sessions, I just open it up and say, is there anything else you want to talk about? And said youth was like, yeah, how do you make friends? And I think that's such a valid question. And something I think all of us have struggled with at some point. But I think specifically after school, like the season of your life that's like leaving high school and that young adulthood, it's hard. It's a transition. So I think we talked about many things, but I think the most important question maybe to ask yourself is where do you feel most yourself? So most safe, most excited, most energetic, most peaceful. And thinking about those spaces is where going to find friends. Because it'll just be like effortless and easy. I think you're going to show up most authentically there. And people are

2:07going to see the real you. And yeah, I think it's just, it's going to be easiest in those places. And they're also going to be friends that most likely are going to have shared values or shared interest. So friendship may just happen more naturally and be long lasting. So I love that. I love that. That's so true. Yeah, about being in places where you're like comfortable and safe. Because I feel like part of the process of making friends that can be difficult is kind of feeling like you have to like perform in a way. And so kind of like eliminating that element I think is super helpful of the list that I made. I'd love to share it with you. First of all, before I share this list, I just want to be clear that making friends is kind of a long process. I feel like as an adult, I'm on a journey to make a lot of new friends. And I'm like, oh, this is actually taking a long time. It takes a long time to get comfortable with people. And I feel like you weirdly have to like kind of be very patient and like practice a lot of gratitude along the way.

3:11I've kind of like, yeah, I got to have this like 20 minute hang with this person. And it like wasn't as like effortless and chill as maybe I wanted it to be. But this is like the work that goes into making friends. And I'm like grateful for it. You know what I mean? Yeah, kind of some investment. Mm-hmm. So the first thing on my list is simply talking to new people. Do you have any experience with just talking to complete randos and having them become friends? Yes. I think that's a lot of making new friends, especially as you get older. Like we've mentioned, you may not have school. Like you go to the same school, whether that be high school or university or yeah, you may just not be doing the same thing as a lot of other people. You may have to meet them outside of those. I actually think some of the best friends, I don't know, are like cutest stories. Are ones where you just randomly are vibing with someone and you are courageous enough

4:13to just say, let's just continue. Yeah, let's just keep the vibe going. So I think that will do you a lot. And that's one of my notes here for kind of the how that we talked about. And definitely we'll keep talking about like where. But the how is to be to be approachable. So if someone does that to you, you know, being open to maybe a stranger coming up to you and doing that. But being open, being vulnerable, being approachable, all of that. I love that about being open to like a stranger approaching you because I feel like, you know, sometimes I feel like you're in a period where you're like, oh, I'm like isolating and I've been little shy. And someone can come up to you and you're like, who's this freak? But once you kind of like let them kind of talk to you, you're like, oh, this isn't bad. This is great, even. So I love that. Okay, talk about the where because I was going to talk about where is but I'm going to talk about the where. So like I said, you've already filled most yourself. And this might be hobbies that you have. Are you a part of any club or church or music group or, you know, hobbies interests. This might be work. Some of my

5:22most fun friends have come out of workplace. School like we've mentioned, it really is an easy place. Your schedule is looking the same for eight hours a day. I also have written down Facebook interest groups. So this may kind of go along with hobbies, but just things maybe you're really into anime or you're really into drawing or something even like like really, really niche. There is probably a Facebook page or some kind of other like social media platform page group that you can join with other people that have a shared interest. Absolutely. And that's a really good and easy conversation starter. Yeah. I love that. I love that you listed, you listed pretty much everything I said, like clubs, sports, getting a job for sure. And pursuing a hobby is huge. Like I feel like back in the day in the photography community in Kansas City, like they would all just like hang out together. And that's so many of my friends. So yeah, I love that. And I love that

6:26because all of that is also just like pursuing essentially your own interest. Like kind of what you said in your first point of like go where you feel safe and comfortable. Like pursue the things you want to join the clubs you want to and the sports that you want to and things like that. I love that. Another thing that I wrote down was specific phrases to try to make friends. So I'd love your thoughts on this. I love it. The first one is I love your blank. Where did you get it? Yes. That's an easy little conversation starter. I love your bag. Yes. Where did you get it? Yes. Have you ever done this? Absolutely. And that is one of mine. Under how is compliment them? I think that's a really easy, easy, easy and everyone loves to compliment and genuine. And it feels good. Yeah. Yeah. Because people love to talk about the things that they they got on. Yes. Yes. Especially if you can have some follow ups after and Jordan you're really good at this. I was like, oh, I can compliment something. Then you know, you can tell me a little bit about it. Yeah. And then, but if I even then have more questions about that. Okay. Oh, well, where is that place?

7:26When did you get it? You got it on sale? Well, what time of the year do you send me the link? You know, so I love it. Could you send me the link? It was like, here's my phone number. Send me the link. Yeah. Okay. Cool. That would say. Okay. The next is how do you like blank? I feel like this works if you're like at a restaurant or at a coffee shop or I mean, really just out and about. How do you like where we're currently at? How do you like the activity that we're doing? How do you like, I don't know, your tea, your coffee. Yeah. Yeah. I think that's a good one for people that maybe just like, or maybe naturally like more thoughtful or deep that kind of shows, I think some depth. Yeah. And maybe some like empatheticness, like being able to see someone else. Yeah. I like that one. Okay. And the next one is do you have any recommendations for blank? So this could be like, I don't know, maybe you're at a coffee shop and you're order your coffee and you're like, Oh, I was going to go thrifting after this. Like do you have any recommendations for a good like thrift shop? I love that question. Yeah. People like to be helpful.

8:28Yeah. I love being asked that question. We did. Yeah. I love being asked that question, especially, you know, we're here in Kansas City. I feel like I know Kansas City really well. I feel like I have a lot of recommendations. So I'm like, here, let me give you a list of 15. Yeah. You didn't want all these. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You're so right. People love to be helpful. And if you're feeling like things are vibing, you can be like, I would go to like go to this place with you at some point. Yeah. Yeah. So I feel like that feels very like bold and scary, but I feel like most people would be like, say, I would love that place already. Yeah. Of course. For someone to go with me. Yeah. Yeah. And also I feel like when people express interest and being friends with me, like if somebody were to say to me, like, oh, I'd love to go to that place with you, like, I will go. You know what I mean? Because like, oh, my gosh, like, you've expressed interest and hanging out with me. That is so sweet. Yes. You know, I think that that like vulnerability is pretty scary, but I think it's probably well received like most of the time. Absolutely. People like to feel wanted. Absolutely.

9:31Absolutely. I think maybe one of the challenges in making friends is taking it a step further. Like a lot of people can say, oh, like, we should, we should talk. We should hint later. We should become friends. Um, okay, then you have to take like the next step. Yes. Like you actually have to plan. You have to, yeah, or ask. 100% make it happen. Yeah. Get out of the group. Yeah. Yes. Yeah. I feel like, especially when someone's like, oh, we should hang soon. Like, you have to take them out their word and be like, okay, when? You know what I mean? Yes. And that feels scary. It feels scary, girl, but it's worth it. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. Okay. And then this is after you made somebody, you say, it was great to meet you. I'd love to stay in touch. If you're open to it, how do you want to stay connected? I like this one because some people aren't good at texting. And so you might text them and then they don't respond and you're like, dang, I just lost the breath. Yeah, we can't leave me to. I suck at texting. You know, but if someone was like, oh, I could stay connected, you know, via the DMs or something. Yes. Right. Right. A phone call. I like spontaneous hangs. You know what I

10:32mean? Like leaving no room for questions of like, oh, I texted this person. I laid in with like, you know, do they not want to talk to me? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Also, another thing I wrote down on how is communication is key, which is part of this. Like, yes, just keep communicating. However, that looks. Mm-hmm. Maybe it's a friends that use Marco Polo. I don't know if you've ever heard of that, but it's an app. It's essentially voice memos. Like, you know, now you can do through just your iPhone, you through texting. But I think before that was that was available. Yeah. Marco Polo was a thing. I have friends that still use it because they say it's a little bit easier to send really long messages. Also, if I remember correctly, Marco Polo is also recording like your face. Like, it's a video as well. So for them and for long distance friends, it just feels like really intimate. Yeah. Like, I better know. Like, it feels like they're in the room with you. That's

11:34really cool. Maybe try that. Try Marco Polo. Yeah. Okay. The next thing I have is Blink made me think of you. I've been meaning to reach out. How have you been? I feel like this one is really good for somebody who you maybe have like hung out with a couple times. If you haven't seen them and you don't know how to like kind of initiate that again. Hey, this made me think of you. How are you? Yeah. Easy peasy, lemon, squeezy. So it's about to go and go again. Yeah. Never too late. And I don't think there's one person that would not like receiving that message. Literally. It always makes you feel good. Absolutely. So I think do it as much as you can. I mean, it's like getting getting a little gift. Like, I don't know. Just knowing you're on someone's mind is really sweet. Absolutely. Yeah. I have one friend specifically, long-time friend, years and years and years. We see each other maybe like every four months, six months. But that's how we keep up is like, hey, I'm just thinking of you. How are you doing? We catch up a little bit. And then

12:35six months later in person, we actually get to hang out. But that makes me feel like I'm still someone really important in her life. Absolutely. Yeah. I feel like whenever I receive like a, hey, I thought about you today, it's just like, oh my god. Like, you like me enough to think about me when I'm not around. Like, that's so sweet. And like, now I don't feel nervous asking you to hang out or inviting you to something or like whatever. You know what I mean? I feel like everybody wants a friend that can be like that to them to be like open and vulnerable and say like this maybe think of you and I want to hang out and whatever whatever. And I feel like part of the message here and like making friends is like, you have to essentially be the friend that you would like to have. You know what I mean? Absolutely. I feel like it also kind of like opens the door to other people to be more like vulnerable. Like, if you already are, you know, like my friends that text me like this maybe think of you, I'm like, I'm going to text that to you in a couple of days. You know, because it's safe to do so. Yeah. Absolutely. Okay. And then the last one I have is I've been looking for new friends to do X, Y and Z with. Would you be interested? Just outwardly.

13:37I've been looking for friends to go indoor skydiving with. Are you down? Yes. You're not down. Yes. Yes. Activity based. Are you down? Are you not down? Yes. Because I think there's a lot of people that have those. Yeah. And they might not be the same exact one or ones that you're thinking of for yourself. Right. But it's going to spark a conversation whether or not the indoor skydiving is for them. They're probably going to say, and I would say, oh, maybe I say yes, maybe I say no. But then I'm like, oh, but I have been really wanting to take a dance class. Yes. I'm nervous to do it by myself. I need friends to do it. Absolutely. But you've already back to the vulnerability. Yeah. You've already stepped out and shown me, hey, I want to do this thing. I need friends. Would you do it? And so I can also in return do the same. Absolutely. So yes. I love that. Okay. And then I wanted to move into a different category of like, okay, maybe maybe we're in the phase of making plans or someone. What are we supposed to do? The first thing is

14:41go where hands do things, which means do something with your hands with somebody else. If you feel nervous about sitting across from somebody and having like dinner or something, maybe we go to a museum and we do a little art class together. Love an activity. An activity. Easy peasy. Don't even talk. Yeah. So the activity together. Yeah. Yeah. Have you ever done that? Absolutely. Yeah. I think that's a good one. I think like for some friends, maybe the three-hour conversation is maybe that's maybe that's your first date. Yeah. Maybe that's just what happens naturally. But a lot of times I think that happens with time. So and more depth than a friendship. Yeah. Activities are fun. Activities are fun. Like he said, you don't really have to talk all the time. But you can if you want. And then you realize you're actually gabbling more than you're doing the activity because you're really focused on something else. Yeah. Yeah. So yeah. I think like an art class is a really, really good idea. You know,

15:44I mentioned for myself, like I'm always wanting to take dance classes, but that feels a little intimidating on alone. Yeah. Yeah. Or even like simply a walk starting to get nice. Yes. Yes. Go on a walk. Your body is moving. Yeah. And that's also regulating your nervous system. So you should feel a little bit more calm and grounded. And it's really good for you. Go get some vitamin D. Absolutely. They need it too. Yeah. And there's also things to talk about when you're doing activities. Like if you're on a walk, you'd be like, look at that bird. Absolutely. Look at that flower. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. In addition to that, I also feel like there's like a list of things that, you know, I wrote down like you could do art classes. You could work at a community garden together. You could volunteer together. Yeah. That's always really fun. You could weirdly like work out together. And I don't mean like, I mean, you could go to the gym obviously, but you could also be like, let's go into a rock climbing or like some fun. There's tons of stuff. You don't have to sit across from somebody and just gab with them for three and a half hours. Like you said, for some people that is scary. Yeah. That is okay. Yes. Yeah. Understandable. Yeah. Okay. The next

16:48thing is make a very specific and stupid plan. And by that, it's like, okay, Tuesday, o'clock, Tuesday, o'clock, Tuesday at seven, 15 o'clock. Exactly. We're going to go to this Chinese restaurant and we're each going to order an appetizer and then we're going to split them in half. You know what I mean? Really specific, really weird. Oh, I love this. It's fun. I love this. I mean, because you're making it a game. Yes. And I think that's one of the keys to life is gameifying. Game fire. So let's make it more silly. Yes. Yeah. Really specific. I love those hangs. People have like indoors. Maybe this is probably not the first one. Maybe get to know them a little bit before you go to their house. But if you're having a friend over and it's like a really specific craft game night, you're like, we're doing this craft. We're listening to this type of music, but we're having this food. None of these things seem like they go together, but it's going to be perfect. Exactly. Yeah. Yeah. That's so fun. Yeah. I love a little specific plan. It also kind of like gets rid of

17:52any like anxiety, because you essentially know exactly what's going to happen. Yes. Like I hung out with one of my new friends a couple of weeks ago, and we were like, okay, you're going to come over and we're going to do crafts and we're going to eat charcootry and we're going to watch a spirit just right about spirited away and we're going to listen to Britney Spears. And like that was the plan. And it was the most relaxed I have ever been with this person because I was like, I know exactly what's happening. And this is lovely, you know? I think that's a really good point, especially for those that may feel, um, deal with anxiety, maybe social anxiety, that it's planned. You already know, you know, it's coming. I love that. Yeah. And then you're not in that limbo of like, what are we going to do now? Yeah. Like it's like you guys don't know each other. Yeah, like don't even don't even think about what you need to do. Like just plan something. You don't need to put yourself there. Don't put yourself there. It's okay. You'll get there. You'll get there. Okay. The next thing is to bring an offering, bring, you know, like something to share, bring something random around this picture of my dog. I don't know. Just something to like start

18:53conversation. Yeah. Yeah. This is this is one of my one of my tactics. Yeah. And um, even with like like good friends, um, it feels good to bring something. Yes. I think we've kind of gotten away from that. If you, I don't know, watch old movies or shows. I feel like people always, um, it was like looked at as like proper or whatever to bring something to someone else's house. I think you had to bring, you know, usually it was like food or, or maybe it's hours, whatever. Right. Um, and then we've gotten away from that and people are so relaxed, which we all appreciate, you know, like you don't need to bring anything. But if you do, it, I don't know, it just feels good. It feels good. It starts some kind of conversation. You feel like you're contributing something to not only like the moment, but like the friendship. Absolutely. Absolutely. Um, it feels good. Yeah. And it doesn't even have to bring something that you're gonna like leave at their house or something you guys have to share. Just, um, I brought my favorite book. Yeah. Can I read you a

19:54page from it? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's chill. Okay. The next thing is to ask a small favor. To circle back to people like to be helpful, they really do. You know, it can be like, can you watch my bike for a second? Yes. Would you check my mail for me? I don't know. Something super duper small, but people really like it. Yeah. Actually, I think that that is a step in friendship. Like I think there is a lot of like depth that comes with that. So if you can get there, um, and don't, don't let it freak out. Yeah. I may ask a small, small favor first, but there's something. Yeah, there's something that comes with that. I think on both ends, like you're showing that you trust this person. They're like, Oh, I, you need help. I can help you. It feels good for them. Um, yeah. I don't know. I think, I think friendships like really benefit from that for sure. Mm-hmm. I so agree. I so agree. Have you ever done that with like a new friend? Just like ask them a little favor. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And some people, maybe I've just, it's felt easier than others,

20:57but I don't think I've ever regretted it. Yeah. Um, yeah. Yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. Okay. The next is to tolerate until a wise time. And by that, it means this actually says, friendship is mostly B-roll. Erin's waiting for buses being wrong about directions together. If every meeting requires a highlight, you're dating the spectacle, not the person. Share a silence without leaping to fill it. If you could be boring together, you can also be alive together. Mm-hmm. And I think this is great. I think about times where I was in a friendship with somebody and we would be driving somewhere and like, like it said, I would get directions wrong and be like, Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. But then it was like funny. And it's silly. Yes. Be a person. Yeah. Remember you're human. Remember you're human. And like, you know, what we said about specific plans and they can be so fun and so silly and so needed. And also, some of the best friends are ones that you can do nothing with and you can just sit and be. And it may take time. It may take no time.

21:58But all of that is really important. And maybe something in the middle of that, like doing nothing, but together and then the really specific planned hang, something I love in adults or young adult friendship, errands, running errands together, like so nice. Yeah, we all have stuff we have to do. Yeah. Maybe stuff we don't want to do and it can feel better with a friend. Absolutely. So it's kind of the favorite thing. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. They probably need to do it too. I mean, like grocery shopping. Yes. So much more fun with a friend. Absolutely. And I think if yeah, it feels good to be asked and then you both have that done. Absolutely. So okay, the next is to practice asymmetry, which basically means you're probably going to text them to hang out along. And they might not text you as much or it'll be the other way around. And that is okay. It is not a game where you guys have to be unequal. I asked her three times and then she asked me only twice. Yeah. Nope. If you want to hang out with her, just ask her. Just ask. Just ask. Yeah. You don't know.

23:03Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Sometimes someone is going to be maybe it's not even the better communicator, but just someone that more naturally communicates. Someone just takes charge more. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's the charge more or it's better at texting or whatever it is. But I would say just like if they come to mind, text them. Yep. Even if you can't hang out for three weeks, text them, get something on the books, tell them you're thinking about them. Um, be okay with being the friend that reaches out more because also most likely that's going to change at some point. Oh, yeah. You're going to go through something and roles are going to reverse. Absolutely. And they're going to need to be the friend that reaches out more or it's another friend. Absolutely. That they're always the person that's reaching out to you. So. Yeah. I think this one is really good too because I feel like if we, if we treat the friendship like a game where we need to be on like the same page of the, we ask each other to hang out the same amount of

24:06times, you're like losing the ability to just connect with somebody because you're like essentially making it up in your mind that maybe they don't like you in the same way that you like them because you're asking them to hang out more or blah, blah, blah, blah. Yeah. It doesn't leave room for like differences in personality or whatever, you know. Yeah, some kind of contest or like keeping tallies. Really the opposite of a game. Not fun. Not fun. Okay, great. The next one is be a small mirror, not a full-length one. So like when you're meeting somebody new, it can be really easy to just kind of like reflect everything back to them. Like, oh, you love the color orange me too, you know. Yeah. It'd be a small mirror. Reflect some things back. It doesn't have to be everything. I mean, like you don't need to be like the same person they are. You need to be the same person they are. You don't need to necessarily like agree with them on everything. That's not going to ruin the friendship or the, you know, connection that you guys have. They might even

25:06respect you more if you disagree with them about things, you know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Being your own unique person. Be yourself. Be yourself yourself. Also, that makes you think of though to something that helps in building friendships is like thinking of building bridges. Absolutely. Building bridges and not walls. And so, you know, a bridge though doesn't mean that you guys are exactly the same. Yeah. It just means like there's some kind of different materials. Yes. But some kind of connection, you know, my like my want or desire in this is the same of same as yours in just to make friendship. Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. That's the goal. Yeah. So if both of you are focused on that, you get really far. Absolutely. Yeah. Before I move on, I just wanted to say that I wrote down friends don't like fuse together. They braid together. And I think that that's really, keep that in mind. You know, you guys can be

26:07different. They're just braiding together. Like you said about the bridges. I've seen bridges made of metal and wood. Yep. They work together. Both. Not all wood. Nope. Not all metal. Different materials. And that's okay. When your feelings are hurt, you can speak just like plainly. And if you're feeling very angry, you should speak kind of briefly. Like I think sometimes when a new friend upsets you, you can kind of like a long paragraph. You said this and it upsets me because I've got a lot of blood. And when you said that, it reminded me of no, no, just like quick, quick, you know, easy little thing. Yeah. That's okay. Yeah. Yeah. Think as much as you can stay away from the long text. Yeah. They're just, it's just hard. Yeah. You don't, you don't hear tone in text and people are coming, you know, everyone has their own experiences and backgrounds and history. And so they're going to maybe read the message differently than you intended.

27:07You know, for it to sound or how it hits or whatever. But yeah, I would just say it's try and stay away from that as much as you can. And I totally agree. Be honest though. Absolutely. Be honest. Back to communicate. Communication. Keep communicating. And people, a lot of people are going to pick up on if you're upset. So just go ahead and say something. Yeah. But I would try and keep communication in person. That kind of communication. Absolutely. Our conversations in person if you can. Absolutely. And I echo the keep it, keep it brief. If you're angry, you know, give yourself a little bit of time to maybe calm down before. So it's not so emotionally charged. 100% 100%. It brings us to the next point, which is let the phone be a bridge and not a house. So like you can text someone to like hang out. You could send them a little picture, a little whatever. Get off the phone though. Yeah. Get the plans in the books. Yeah. Go be with that person. Yeah. Unless obviously you're in like a long distance

28:07friendship. Then the phone does need to be the house. But yeah. You know. But FaceTime, if you're a little different. It's a little different. Yeah. Like a polo. Use a different app. I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. If you can, I mean, go fly and see them. That's in the books, you know. Like it takes a little maybe a little bit more effort. But you can do it. You can do it, especially if both people are again working together. So absolutely. The next thing is offer a first vulnerability, but not a flood. Just kind of a little, a little one true sentence about how you feel about something. Maybe don't try to like overwhelm this new person with a whole bunch of sad information about yourself. Yeah. Just a little first because then they can build another first. And then you guys can just little building blocks, little building blocks of connection. Yeah. You know, this is a good one. Also a tough one. This one's tough. This one's tough for me. So as someone who like, I don't know, I don't know if it's where, if I wear my heart on my sleeve,

29:09if that's really it, but, but something definitely just a vulnerable, honest, open person and finding that balance has, has been tough. So also give yourself grace. Sometimes you may quote-unquote overshare or you're going to leave and feel maybe a little vulnerable. Maybe, you know, like, you put things out on the table. But I think the building blocks is a good picture. You know, you give, give a little and they add a little piece to that and then you give a little. But yeah, give yourself grace, but I agree. Yeah. Also like again, vulnerability, trust, all that comes can come with time. Absolutely. Absolutely. The next is lose something on purpose. In the sense of like, they will probably disappoint you at some point. And that is okay. Yeah. And you don't have to, I guess, like, win or point out everything that they have done wrong to upset you or whatever, you might lose a little on purpose and it might be a little bit disappointed by the way that

30:12somebody handles something. And it's just part of the journey to get to know them as a person. You know what I mean? Yeah. Like, I think sometimes when we're making new friends, I mean, just circle it back to like that, oh, I always text first thing. If, if you don't text them, because you're always the one texting first, as in you're not losing something on purpose, then you're not connecting with that person versus if you just lost something on purpose and you decide to text them and then they text you back and you become friends and then that's great. Yeah, I mean, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That makes me think of something I wrote down things to think about. But what you're kind of, I don't know, kind of touched on a little bit, but it makes me think of, like, a lot of us have, like, past friendship. I'm even going to use the word like trauma, like friendship heartbreak. I think this keeps many of us from forming new friendships or we have a lot of fear surrounding new friendships because of this. That, I would include myself. Like, that's, that's tough. Yes.

31:13Friendship heartbreak is really tough, but don't let that stop you 100%. Because friends are great. Yes. Everyone's different. Also, everyone's human. So, like you said, they're we're all human. You know, we've been saying like, give yourself some grace, give them grace. Yes. And, you know, benefit of the doubt. Absolutely. Just you don't have to believe the best. Believe the best. Something malicious. Yeah. They're probably not. Yeah. Believe the best. And then and just keep keep trying. Exactly. Yes, my friend. That is all I had today. Do you have anything else? No. I think that's it. Okay. I will leave it with good luck. If you're on a journey of making friends, good luck. And give yourself grace, give them grace. Yeah. Be patient in the journey. Have fun. Have fun. It's not having fun. It's have some fun. You know, have some fun. It boils down to have a good time. Yeah. Okay. Bye. Bye.