
About this episode
In this episode, I walk through my past relationships and take ownership of the ways I’ve been unsafe.
I share specific moments - steamrolling my ex-wife with logic instead of empathy, making subtle body comments that landed harder than I understood, ending relationships abruptly, and moving on too quickly after a breakup. At the time, I justified a lot of it. Looking back, I see the impact.
I also talk about asking my current partner to tell me how I’ve made her feel unsafe over the past eight years. I held her, promised not to defend myself, and listened.
And I cried.
This isn’t about shame. It’s about ownership.
If you’re a man listening, the question isn’t “Am I a good guy?”It’s: Where have I been unsafe — and what would it mean to do better?
🎙️ Host Links:
📘 Read John’s new book in progress Sh*t Your Therapist Would Never Tell You on John’s SubStack HERE
If you’re ready for deeper work, the Secure Self course is available HERE
Order John's new book, Break Up. On Purpose, HERE
Follow John on Instagram HERE
Find out more about John HERE
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