HOT GOSS #335 “Eumustowna Televsîon, Well Rested, and a Soundboard Bracket”

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1:03The Bleacher Report app is your destination for sports. Right now, the NBA is heating up, March Manus is here, and MLB is almost back. Every day there's a new headline, a new highlight, a new moment you've got to see for yourself. That's why I stay locked in with the Bleacher Report app. For me, it's about staying connected to my sports. I could follow the teams I care about, get real-time scores, breaking news, and highlights all in one place. Download the Bleacher Report app today so you never miss a moment. Baby, it's a wave! And you know the goss is already hot. We have birthday celebrations, Alaska gigs, San Francisco gigs, and Cawkett. There's a little bit of clocking clarification going on. Clockifications also occurred at the Oscars this week, which we will be discussing. And the War for Oil rages on. That makes a lot of sense. I use Baker's Joy and Pam. Plus, we read DMs about a horror sauce,

2:08a soundboard rubric, and a possible meditation pod from us. Can you imagine? Take a deep breath, everyone. Now, push out like you're taking a dump. And inhale that next one, then, act. Imagine you're on a glass coffee table, man. You're greeted by the come-up concierge, letting you know that your turn in the sling is in three minutes. Let's go. Up, do. Am. Oh! Mom! Little Miss Hot Goss. Oh, look at the back to the little Miss Hot Goss, Pat Jam. Welcome back. Welcome back for another steaming, piping, scolting, serving of Hot Goss.

3:16This is a weekly chat show where we talk about events in our lives. Gossip and politics take a deep dive into the DMs. So let's get into some. Oh, God, the receipts. Hello, Willie. Yes, hello, Willie. It's so nice to have you back on this pod. You're like pretty swell, Dipper. Oh, no, Miss. I didn't know you had satchmo in you, bitch. I live. She's a woman of many voices. Thank you for being back on our show. It's great to see you and hear you. You said little Miss Hot Goss. This is little Miss. You must own a television.

4:22You bestona. My name is you, Miss. You mustona. You mustona, Beaufort. Television. Maureen San Diego was filling in for you last week on the Hot Goss. Our listeners loved it. I haven't heard it yet. Yes, but here's what happened. What has happened? Maureen text me the day it came out and she was like, oh my God, everyone hates this. And I was like, everybody. That's not true because I haven't even heard it yet to hate it. I was like, what are you talking about? How are you even? She was like the comments, the comments. And I was like, I don't even, how do you even, how do you even access comments on a podcast? You know the thing we say at the end of the thing that we do like twice a week where we're like,

5:22and please go to your preferred podcast app wherever you get your pods and comment, like subscribe, some people do. And it's usually when they have a problem or something to say and no one to say it too. And I didn't know about it either, even though we say it every fucking week twice a week for nine years. Do you say comment? I think I would like to say don't bother. No, we need the engagement. Don't say that, bitch. Recently Spotify added a comment section. I did not know that. And then we needed another toilet bowl on this fucking blazing. Great. And another spot for me to worry myself until I get a cold sore on any open orifices. Oh, just stress. On Apple, there is no comments. It's just rating and reviewing. That's what it's been like forever and ever on podcasting. But then Spotify, I don't know. You're right. That's what we say. They have a comment section for each episode.

6:23And it's like a YouTube comment section. Well, you should be using Spotify anyway. She wasn't in a spiral. I'm exaggerating. But she was like, oh my god. Wow, everyone. She read some of the comments at her bingo show. So at least she got material out of it. Well, but she was like, I don't mind being called like an annoying fucking hideous fucking monster. But some people were like, boring. She's like, I'm not bored. You can call me a lot of things. But Haley, boring is not on the docket. So, you know what? I've never been bored by Maurin San Diego. But exactly. See? So please remember, there's a human being on the side of on the other side of the computer. And you know what? We, the two of us, we are hard and they call me a human being. We are, we are hard and thick skinned veteran podcast stresses.

7:28We have been called everything from A to literal Z. We've been read to third by you for years. It really doesn't phase us or we have the mental tools to deal with that. But Maurin is a civilian. Okay. In this battlefield. No, she's not. She is not a, she's not a veteran podcast stress. So you all need to just chill out a little bit. Not too much. It's giving her material. She was compensated. She entered willingly into the Serena. She is a public figure. People will comment. And it's good that she's using those comments to make material because one man's trash is another man's treasure. Comment treasure. And she will be back next week with a, oh, I'm just kidding. But she will be back someday for redemption. I had no idea about these comments

8:31until a younger troll than me told me about a new bridge in which people can comment under. And I was like, what? And that troll is the one and only meatball. Oh, yeah. Does she have a last name? Meatball Gemini. Speaking of Gemini's a very important one, Ms. Raja Gemini recently appearing on the top model documentary. Which she is? Yeah, she was doing that thing where she was painting the girls. Oh, I think she was using blackboard paint. She was getting rave and ready for the two to boot. Oh, my God. It's like, it's like when Sarah, when Sarah Tano starts looking like

9:32Gaga and Gaga's looking like Sarah Tano. And then you're like, oh, Raven just wanted to save on foundation. Her and Rua is just sharing now. Oh, you know it. Which is fine. One man's contours, another man's highlight. But Raja Raja, our diamond crowned queen, the one and only L.A.'s own is opening up her closet and her storage centers and her offices for everyone to come purchase a little piece of history at one six four six North Cherokee Avenue for the month of April. She's going to be having a pop up shop right across the street from World of Wonder in the heart of Hollywood. Come by and get some stuff. The things that I've seen that she's putting up, um, she's just like, what can I do with it? Like, let's get, let's, someone needs to wear it. Because she has so many fucking treasures. Oh, my God. Girl, is she doing a preview day? I'm not sure. I'd like to be there for a preview day. But yeah, I think that would be good.

10:32That's just going to sell really fast. I'm going to tell you this. There's always a line when, when girls do their sales. When you did your sale, there was a line to the end of the block. It was, I thought somebody was getting their star in the walk of fame. It was, there's always a line when detox is doing a show. Always a line and the valet has no keys. Speaking of detox, she'll be in town for the 17th at Mickey's. And you'll be, I think, uh, Abby that night, right with me hosting maybe the finale night. Is that the finale? Whenever I don't know if that's coming knowledge, but you're the host of the show who cares, right? Yeah, that's fine. I watch you. We're going to get mad at me. Yeah. Sorry. I will be back with you at the Abby for the viewing party. Everyone's clucking about April. What is the April 17th? April 16th? Something like that. I think it's the

11:3517th. That's a Friday. We will be there chatting, clucking, and crowning a new diamond crown queen. I don't know who it's going to be. Follow me. Follow me to my pretty, pretty palace. Now, did you do anything while I was away? Any celebrations? How was your birthday? It was lovely. Yes. Some very beautiful, nice things. A really delicious cake. Some cakes. It was, um, it was like chocolate cupcakes with vanilla-ass frosting. And it was, that's like the combination I needed that day. I love that. Uh, it was delicious. And it was, it was a really nice birthday overall. She had a personal pam pizza party. Pam, Pamela, personal Pamela pizza. Did Pam make the pizza?

12:37No, she did not. But she makes the great pizza. We have a rainbow spotlight this week, Mama. And it's called, I really need to know by silver auto. Oh, I love that rhyme. You can check them out at I Am Silver Auto, O-T-T-O. So let's take a listen to, I really need to know. This is a dynamic little track. Everybody needs to pump it. And you want me to be your son? Won't you fit in? Oh, now you're twice a shy. Why are you waiting? You're spinning around a bit in my mind. It's forgiven. You could let, let, let me go.

13:37Mother. Clarket. Clarket. Clarket. Okay. Clarket. Matt and I have been watching the pit. We just finished season one and we just started season two. Have you been watching? You don't watch TV. Um, no, but I know it started out as they were trying to reboot ER with no Wiley. And ER is based off of a Michael Crichton property, Michael Crichton, the author, and then it didn't work out. And then there was like a lawsuit because basically they're doing exactly what they were planning for the ER reboot, but not calling it ER. And Michael Crichton was cut out, apparently. Um, was ER one hour a day, like that layout, like the 24th. It was the

14:37different gig. Yes. Very much takes place in an ER. So it's like 24, right? But like with medical stuff. Yeah. Okay. I never saw that either, but that was a day in the life, right? Each season. I watched a little bit of it because I knew Gene Smart was on it. And I was like, oh, she's drama gene smart. I'm good. I'll take some drama gene smart, but I need some chuckles too. It follows like one shift of like a day and like they have a horrible day and lots of things happen. But I will say the difference between season one and season two of the pit is season two. The girls are painted. The girls are mugged in season two. Are there lashes? Individuals? Yes, season one. I feel like a little bit. I feel like they were going for like, we're going for the gritty reality of like, this is what it's like to be in the trenches of an ER. And season two,

15:41they're like, whoa, we're still really gorgeous. So why don't we just put on a oh, listen, I spent a lot of a lot of time in the ER growing up because my mom was at ER nurse. She got kicked across the ER by some crazy guy on PCP like 20 feet. She was never the same back wise. It's always been like, yeah, ER nurses are the best people in the world for what they deal with. They likely do. They deal with that on the show. One of the nurses, I won't give it away. But my sister who works in the medical field, she said this is like the most realistic sort of representation of what it's actually like to be in a in a situation like that. But really enjoying it. Do you remember the show nurses? It was like nurses help people. Yes, they do. This was in like

16:41the 80s. It was like some show. Was it a sitcom? Yeah. And like that's the most realistic. That one, that one I like. It was a lady who looked like Jennifer Lewis, but it wasn't. I think her name was LaVada or something. It was it was a good show. And there was there was a lady who was like a sister. Yeah, like LaVada. I think her name was Lark. Yeah, something. She's like, am I supposed to be boys? Soft lighting, three cameras. Richard Dreyfus. I think it was a backdoor pilot from empty nest. I love a backdoor pilot. Yes, this is a true. That's the truest representation of what it's like to be an ER nurse is nurses. That's realistic. Speaking of medical shows. The viewing party? No. Scrubs is back. Yes. Recession indicators include.

17:55There are many gay cast members on it that we love. Really? Yeah. The longest running genie from Aladdin. Michael James Scott. Got a brand of magic never fails. A Zavada Bada Bada Bada Bada Bada Bada. No. He's played the genie on like four continents and he is, he just finished his 4,000th performance as the genie. And he is in scrubs and he is so funny. 4,000 performances as the genie. Disney loves the man. And now he's on scrubs. And rightly so, he is so funny. And he's giving eyes. He says a lot. He doesn't need to, he doesn't need to do a lot to say a lot. But she gives eyes behind the counter. It's full of sass and warmth and charm. So everybody check him out. It's a well deserved casting. And it's wonderful to see him right where he belongs on the television. You must have a television. Thank you. You know who they should cast or at least give her a walk

19:00on roll is that young lady who played the evil queen at Disney and was really country. Oh, they fired her. I know she got fired. That was crazy. She was the one good thing Disney had going for them. I, I, she was like, your ugly don't look at me. She said, I'm the fairest in the land. The Disney land. She was gone. Let's have her on the pod. Let's try. I'm down. Now speaking of people on TV, Durand Bernard was nice enough to explain on Kiki Palmer show the meaning of collocate. And the differentiation that some straight people are doing it wrong, such as Justin Bieber, referring to it wrong, collocking. Durand Bernard was basically like, you tap your finger to make eight on one side because it means you eight and you're tapping. Oh, that, that one.

20:04Yes, yes, yes. So it's a lot of finger. When you do the little tiny finger clap, which is what I always thought it was, like I'm clapping in a very small way. It actually, that's actually sign language for the number eight, which means you eight. Yep. Really. Yep. And this is important because all good things come from gay people and LGBT people and a lot of signage technology and that is not hyperbole. It's fucking true. And this is something that straight people have been bastardizing because they don't know what it means or why or where. And I also thought it was a way to politely gesture that you are, you would like to be applauding, but maybe you can't because you have nails on or giant cocktail rings. So you figure out a way it's like snapping. Yeah, yeah, it's and when people do it with the wrong finger or when they don't

21:08know what clock it means, like clocking is when you observe something that someone thought was going to be seraptitious or unnoticed. That was going to go unnoticed. Yeah, like when a, when a police officer clocks you going to speed, like he's clocking you with his speed clocking him. Yeah. And that's why you never tell your secrets to a clock because time will tell. Can't tell us about this video of detox and roger that's been circulating. Well, first of all, all good things, including I think monkey pox started at Fubar. And this is from back in the day. Fubar is a straight bar now, but we don't hold it against them because they, I'm sure they have some faggot's work in there somewhere. And the Hollywood store next to it is a restaurant. Yes, it makes total sense, right? And the candle shop is a dildo factory.

22:10And what is peanuts now? Is peanuts still a club? No, seven, seven, six, nine, what is it a bank peanuts? A credit union? No, it's a club. It's Delilah's. Oh, okay. It is run by the Hollywood group, Marsha, Marsha, Marsha, Mollenary. She runs it and works there and does it promotions. But Fubar was this wonderful club in LA that everything happened at everybody went to. And Raja and detox are her. These boots are so full that they're up to their shoulders. They're high-weighter boots. And Raja is doing her pretty palace. Look, the white hood with the crown and the, it was the year. It was her year. Detox is in her good, Madame Laqueer, blonde on top, brown on the bottom. And they are in love doing tongue, tongue battle. And then Raja gives like Carmen Carrera kisses to detox's breasts at the end, like how she lip sync. It's so

23:15sexy and chaotic. And you don't know if they're going to fuck her fight. And it is like, you just know. And there's over a foot and a half worth of dick between the two, too. They know that there's a camera there. And they are clearly putting on a performance for the camera. Like they're just like passionately making out detox licks her fingers and then puts her hand in her own pants as if. And then Raja puts her fingers in detox's mouth at Fubar. Oh. And then at the end, they're like, you can check it out on Boo in it on Twitter. A song, but I love the girls. The girls are the girls. Love the girls. What a time that was detox, pre-drag race, slightly pre-drag race, Raja post-drag race. That was a, if I had a time machine.

24:212012, what a year. I think it might be just wanting to go back to Fubar at this particular time. Just to like walk in, be a fly on the wall, just observe because what a time. So fun. We went there after the stars, born premiere, Bobby Campbell showed up, like the girl. We went from a lady Gaga thing to Fubar. And it was so much fun. Like I love Fubar. I missed it so much. Don't miss those bathrooms, but miss the things I did in them. Now the Oscars were this week. Did you watch? Uh, I did not. Let's take a break. No, we can talk about it after the break. We will be right back, because I, you know, I didn't watch, but I would like to talk about the clothes. Same. Well, the clothes.

25:24We'll be right back after these messages from ours. Hey, it's Howie Mandel and I'm inviting you to witness history as me and my Howie do it gaming team. Take on Gilly DeKing and wallow 267's million dollars gaming in an epic global gaming league video game showdown, four rounds, multiple games, one winner, plus a half-time performance by multi platinum artist, Travis McCoy. Watch all the action and see who wins and advances to the championship match against Neo right now at globalgamingleague.com. That's globalgamingleague.com. Everybody games. We are back. I love working with you. Uh, the Oscars were, you know, I was, I was in such a mood about the Oscars. I was like watching that snubbed again. They're on the fucking Epstein files.

26:30They're all fucking owned by two guys who are fucking billionaire fucking pigs. Like they're all like they're all every single person that that was my like, that was my very jaded view of it. And I was like, I don't know, watching that fucking show, but the clothes. Let's talk about the clothes. Oh, that's I would love to go the clothes. Well, the clothes are here. Someone said Nicole Kidman was wearing this is so specific. This is going to make no sense. Okay. Nicole Kidman was wearing the wig that got that one lady fired from Hannah Montana. Do you want to hear the story? Yes or no? Yes. I've never seen an episode of Hannah Montana though. Neither. I know. I just thought of me. She plays two people. So the story goes that in the pilot episode of Hannah Montana, you know, Hannah Montana is like she wears a blonde wig because when she's

27:32like the secret alter ego. Okay. I'll tell you go. She wears a blonde wig. But apparently the lady who was the wig designer for the pilot, they didn't like the wig. And so they fired her unceremoniously. And they said, we need someone who's more into what like young, young women's hair is like. But the hair looked exactly like Nicole Kidman's wig here, which I think it looked good. It just wasn't what they were looking for at the time. Okay. Well, maybe they needed to go to Miss Girl, what's her name? That charges like $800 for a bank piece in New York. What is her name? It's not Anastasia. It is Anastasia Beverly Hills. I will do your eyebrows.

28:32There is no product suitable for what you have done to your face. We have no product. What is her name? Oh, fuck. Helena. Helena. Helena has the most expensive wigs or beautiful, but they're so expensive. I thought Nicole Kidman looked beautiful, but also in a similar silhouette, was Lynette Howell Taylor, who's, I think she's the first woman who's been elected the academy president. She was also the producer on a star is born looking beautiful. Look at that. Pretty. A pale pink with pearls and little flowers. I love it. It's modern, but still like feminine and floral. She gave a speech on stage and I was like, oh, okay. I pay attention to the academy speeches when it's a lovely adorned woman and not just some dude in a tux with who's

29:36like, oh, you counted the votes. And I saw clips of it. I didn't watch the whole thing, but I watched more than I normally would have. And we love Lynette Howell Taylor. She is wonderful, and she is doing some good work as the academy president. Now, who is your best? Girl down. Love God, new wig alert, new wig alert. And the work is settling in the face too. Up, do. I don't know what you're talking about. She definitely had some, um, I maybe it's just some tight braids on the side like, um, and half the way. But there was definitely some, I noticed some, uh, some changes in his face. And he looks great. I'm not saying that it's bad to change your face. We all do it. But his eyes are more opened. I think there was a brow lift or a breath. There was something about a bucle and maybe some, um, injections in the cheek to enhance that. He looks great. Um, and half the way also before Devils wears Prada to,

30:40there were some changes that people were noticing on the internet with her eyes and her face. And when she stand, stand half a sleigh. Is that a drag name, a drag king name? I love that. No, no, no, I just stand half a sleigh. She looks great. Whatever she did. I would just like to drop the doctor, drop the doctor's deeds. She says it's just two single braids, a little bit back from the hairline at the temple that they just pull and then it makes her look well-rested. She does not say that. Yes, she does. She said she's like, so that's the hack, you guys. And, and listen, we, we know that you will go a long way for believability. You shaved your head for laymirs and you were snot crying and you got your Oscar. You don't need to act with us, honey. We're gays and lying to us. The wool has been pulled over my eyes, but drop the doctor's details. You could pull the wool over your eyes, but you can't pull the woolen over their eyes because I don't believe a word. This woman saying, nice girl, beautiful

31:43girl used to patronize OCC cosmetics. And when she came in, she said, call me Annie. She was, she's vegan and she was very interested in her. Yes, she very much is fierce, but I see no reason to not be what's the word transparent about like work that's obvious other than saying, oh, that makes you seem some sort of way, which would inhibit your castability or your believability. Because actors need to disappear into roles. And when you become known as a celebrity more, there's a, there's a strong swingback whenever you're too successful. Remember what happened with her? And everyone was like, she needs to go away for a while. That's what happens. And that's why people should take a page from your playbook and be mysterious and stuff. But when you have facial facial work, the internet now just loves it before and after and nobody can be mysterious no more. But she is not the only one who isn't like talking explicitly about work that she has had done every single person in Hollywood has been yanked, plot, cracked, surged.

32:47Don't talk about you back up ripped, ripped off, put back together. Like literally everybody. So with a few exception, the rule is, the unspoken rule is you don't talk about having worked done. You, you have to remain mysterious about it. Because if you talk about it, then Meryl Streep has to talk about it. And then, and it's like, so nobody says anything about, oh, I don't know. I just know this is just how I look. I just suddenly, I suddenly look the same as I did when I was 30, even though I'm 75. Meryl, I don't think has had work. It's just that Marty Short probably fucks like a chihuahua. And she's getting it so good that no, we're never going to come there all the pod. I think it's just her resting. She's been relaxing. And she's supposed to be like, lust culture is does. I don't want to be like that. Nicole Kidman. They fucking got Nicole Kidman. I don't need to be like them. I don't

33:48need to fucking talk to Nicole Kidman. I don't think she's that interesting as a person. I'd rather like see her movies. I want to get Nikki Kidman on the show. She doesn't want to be on our show. She does not want to be on our show. I don't know. She might. Why? Listen, I am open to having anyone on the show. I just, why can't lust culture is does be like, so Nikki, what have you had done to the face? Because they can't because they can't because they never get the interview. So there's certain things that are not speakable about in Hollywood and show business in all of these circles. And that's one of them. Well, you can't spell show business without Ho. That's it. Ho and bye. Ho, bye. Ho, bye. So you're going to Alaska? Wait. Yes. I'm going to Alaska. Oh my gosh. We're very excited. Anchorage. And it's March 21st. So if

34:53you hear me now, be don't be like, oh, I didn't know you were going to be there. Frankie Doom is going to be there from Dracula and a bunch of other cold bitches. And freezing. Please come out and see it. The link is on my Instagram. And they're giving away tickets right now too for a little giveaway moment. And you're going to be at the epic epic re inauguration opening of the Castro in San Francisco on March 20th Friday. Yes. It's going to be so weird to go in there and not smell common Doritos. So I'm going to smell new. I know. It's going to be it's going to be all new and a dressing room. I can't can't wait. A bathroom backstage at the Castro. I know it's for all the performers who get to do that. It's going to be a moment. Cannot wait. What are you doing? I'm going to show Alaska. That's going to be fantastic. So yes, we're doing a show. We have a band.

35:55It's going to be where can people get tickets? Alaska Thunderfuck.com. Do you think there's any blue fuzzy hats left? Just in case someone wanted to pick one of those. Just maybe. And to clarify, that's tonight for you, Alaska and tomorrow night for you, Willum. Yeah. I'm already on the plane. Is it going to be dark the whole time here there? I take my glasses off. I'm not Nymphia Wind. It's winter time and you're going to Alaska. No, it's not. It's springtime. RuPaul saw her shadow. Oh, it's because she has all those disco balls in her kitchen. Discord balls? I thought Scorpio chopped them off. Okay. Honey, they cut hard down. They said, no, no, no. Here's the contract and they posted it. We don't like to get into drama though. So let's not talk about law, roaches, face or and facelift or discord atoms at Scorpio. Y'all can look that up yourselves because we're

36:57not those girls. We don't get involved. We're not those people. So who's dressed? Did you like at the Oscars? We're back to the Oscars. I saw pretty pictures. I need to scroll up. Sorry. Tiana Taylor always was straight. Varron and Emma. Yeah, Tiana looked great. It's Chanel. Gwyneth was wearing a column down with power mesh sides with rhinestones on it. It was sleek. I thought Chase Infinity's gown was very pretty. That was probably my favorite. It was like lilac ruffles asymmetrical with like beautiful like mermaid hair and then diamonds, bitch. Did you see one battle after another? No, I haven't seen it yet. It was great. I went to the Tarantino theater in Silver Lake, the one that he owns. He owns two theaters, one on Beverly and one in Silver Lake and he redid it and it was cool to see that movie there because it was meant to be seen on a screen. I guess the way that he filmed it is an old school way where instead of it being the film is shown

38:03vertically on the film strip, it's shown horizontally. So it's like a wider format. Yeah. Or that could be backwards. I don't know. I could be trying to do dodge screens. Honey, I'm trying to do doggy in a sling. It's just I'm all upside down. I don't even know. Before we go to break, let's do a very super speed. Let's get political, political. I want to get political. Let's see. Heatwave California. Very high. You don't give a shit. Let's get out of here. He burned him up. What are we? Get some mozzarella sticks. Burn him up. Have a good night. 10 or 11 degrees higher than previous record highs. Come on. Global warning warming. That's also war about oil. They opened up a pipeline on California, which when previously opened,

39:08caused the largest oil spill in California's history, tons of wildlife dead, tons of shores contaminated, and now Trump is opening it up. So his Texas billionaire friends can be getting more billions. And it won't even affect the oil prices to make them lower. That would lower the gas prices in America, because we don't even get our gas from here. And this is why I went hybrid. So I cannot be part of this problem anymore. I don't want to be this global warming shit. Palm Springs had the record for heat in March 110 degrees in March. The hottest it's ever been in March in Palm Springs in the desert. And you know what's not helping it oil. So if you can go hybrid, go hybrid. If you can go electric, go electric. It's important for the future for the next people that are on the earth after us. And um, fuck Donald Trump. You know what I heard from a meme. So it must be true. What? Baron Trump, the son of the president, bought 20 million dollars of oil the day before

40:15the Iran war happened. And now it's worth 50 million dollars. So that's insider trading. They are all criminals. They all need to be tried and taken to task for their crimes. They cannot be allowed to continue this way. We've had it. Anyway, why don't we take a break? Okay. We are back. And we try and describe us without using the word back. I can't. I just can't. This is the moment where the God expects us to beg for help. This is the moment. But we won't even try. I won't back down. See back again. Damn.

41:22Roll over and back bitches. Big back. This is the moment where we go. This is the moment where we go. I'll read this one from muffin. Hello, darling, Dipper, Alure, Alaska, and Whitty Willum. Love to hear you gorgeous gals every week. And speaking of vocal stems, have you ever considered recording a meditation relaxation mini podcast series? Maybe something for those top tier lubaton-wearing mom subscribers, please don't squabble the opportunity to enter our collective pure consciousness. My actual question is about the season 18 finale. Have you heard any rumblings on the air date? Looking at historical patterns, episode number 16 would be the finale, and it would air on April 18th. But an event planner in me can never be too sure any scuttle but on this matter is much appreciated.

42:26Well, first of all, bitch, the 18th is a Saturday. The 17th of April is a Friday. So I think she means April 17th. This is not one of those podcasts where you get misinformation. So I just needed to set the record straight from the get-go. The misinformation pageant. Misinformation Lopez? Streaming now. I heard she's a front runner for a robot television. Yes, scuttle. I think it's the 17th. That's what I've heard. I don't know for a fact, but that's the information that I've. Hold on, I texted one of the girls. Let me see what she said. Because I asked her this the other day. Yes. See? Look. OK. All right. 17th. Thank you. Yes, it is the 17th that up. Glad we can help. OK, thank you for being woman enough to come. What's this about, muffin? Little girl.

43:27Muffin. The next message comes from Dee. Dear Alaska, Willem and Big Dipper, a long time listener, first time writer. I need your help. And I couldn't think of- No, no comment on the meditation. Oh, girl, my voice is not relaxing. No one has ever accused me of being a relaxing. What am I going to do? And I don't think that we can charge people to make sounds with mouths. We actually do. I couldn't in good conscience do so if I knew I wasn't being entertained. I don't like taking money if I'm not doing something to at least feel like I'm providing a service or doing something. You know what I mean? When people tip me for taking a picture, I'm like, I would have done that for free. I love pictures. Like, I don't, if I just, am I supposed to just click my, my libatons and people would listen to that? I don't, I don't understand. We wouldn't say anything. We would just make sounds. Is that, what is that? Focal stems. Meditation, relaxation, mini podcast.

44:27Some people find that to be valuable though. Like, there are more than one types of entertaining. I get that. Guided meditation, you could take them on a journey somewhere. Yeah, I'd guide him to fucking Vicky Vox. She could play a bowl for him and she'll relax them. That's how that works. My voice not relaxing. Our vocal stems are usually up and like pecan't. We're not up, dude. Why don't you read the next list, dude? Like, I see, you know, like, I would call your voice relaxing. Not mine. Long time listener, first time writer, from D, I need your help. Couldn't think of any other beautiful, hard-hitting, insightful women in the advice columnist field other than yourselves. I've recently ended my second ho phase, horror songs, if you will. As my first one occurred when I came out at 19, I had my second coming, pun intended, after getting my heart broken a couple of years ago, healing, then trying to date seriously and failing, followed by losing 40 pounds and getting in better shape.

45:28After the transformation, I got a lot more attention than I did before and finally being comfortable in my own skin at 32. It made me want to make up for the sexual experiences I chose to opt out of in my 20s because of my own insecurities. Now, I'm ready to settle down in a serious, monogamous relationship, due in combination of wanting something more meaningful, sexual safety and realizing sex for me is far better when you have a genuine connection with someone. I also think it's extremely sexy when someone has options to fuck other people, but they choose to be your own personal, private, and exclusive cum dump concierge. The problem is now I'm finding it nearly impossible to find another man wanting the same thing as I seem only to attract guys who want NSA hookups or men in open relationships. Do you think my recent slut campaigns left an impression on the community causing only non-serious men to be interested? I'm from a small city of less than 400,000 people, so you can imagine how familiar the local scene is with each other. Or am I simply looking in all the wrong places to find a man who's on the same page? If so, any advice on where I should look?

46:29I'd love to hear what beautiful painted ladies have to say. Attached are some dick picks for priority boarding as I feel like it's a badge of honor to present you two lovely schlong tooses nudes. Schlong tooses, I love that. Apologies is that apparently only take nudes when my mirror is dirty, so feel free to let me have it. I love you both, and Dipper, know how deeply loved and appreciated you are. Keep shining light in the darkness. He's been to the join, you're not party, I guess. Signing off. DING in the smallest city. What's the smallest city? Oh, oh, baby, if you're having problems, it's over for everybody. Oh, my God. This guy looks like he could have been spanned in next to Brad Pitt and Achilles. And he wouldn't have needed a spear because he could use this giant, hateful, prodigious member. This is huge. This cock is giant. It's big soft. And then hard, I've seen New York subway turned styles with less protrusion.

47:32The shlong is long, I will say that much. I want to get in this pit, too. And let's see what hair products he has on this counter. Hold on, let me see. I see a RuPaul artwork behind you, which is very nice. And moving on to the next letter. I don't think the mirror is that dirty. No, I think my thoughts are, though. Oh, my God. Look at the base. Oh, my God. Here's the thing, D in the smallest city with a huge cock. Um, the thing is, the thing is, you know why I'm suddenly looking for a serious relationship in a small town that's so weird. You can find it. You do not, do not listen. It takes time, but it is findable and it is out there. You need to be selective about where you're looking.

48:32If you're looking on the apps, I'm going to tell you this much. You are not going to find a serious relationship on the apps because everybody on the apps is looking for something that is not a serious relationship. And if they say they're looking for a serious relationship, they still have an app full of hundreds and millions of other people who aren't. So do real life things. Willem always gives this advice, join a sports team or some sort of like activity that isn't like just going out to a bar. This is where you meet real people and get to know people. And this is where you make connections. And, uh, and that's where you'll find your, your monogamous love, uh, yeah. And if you don't want to play sports, join a puzzle club or a gay book club or something or, uh, or, or go to, um, you know what's really good.

49:32If you go to like an AA meeting and they have gay ones, those are people who you know are working on improving themselves. So they're great candidates for relationships as long as they've been in for a year. We're not like an alcoholic. You don't have to be an alcoholic to go to a meeting. Are you saying that he's, he should pretend and masquerade as a masquerade? I feel like there's a, I'm not saying that to go to an AA meeting as like a lucky Lou to try and get trained. I, that feels a little sneaker. Ella. It's like sitting on the steps of a medical school with your grinder, your sniffies and your jacked on to find a potential doctor mate for love or just prescriptions. There's nothing wrong with that being in the right spot at the right time. Okay. Also, he likes the green, he likes the green lanterns. So like, maybe like a comic book cosplay gay thing that he's got a green lantern poster on the wall.

50:33He's got curly hair in a nose ring. I want to suck his dick. The point is, I'm so sorry, Pam. It's big though. And I know the point is she doesn't listen to this part. The point is they are out there and they are looking for you as much as you're looking for them. She's looking and be patient from Michael and I'd love to show you around if you come to LA. We can find some nice guys. Hi, girl, you're not going to find them here. Okay. Hi, dolls. You found Matt here and Matt is a great fucking guy. Yes, but he's, yes, he's a unicorn. He's a needle in gay stuff. Los Angeles is a cesspool for dating. It's a, honey, it's a cesspool because everybody says. Ooh, that ear, ooh, that ear. Hi, dolls, dip, and esteemed special guestresses. Long time, second time, I was so excited to hear a soundboard shout out on a recent pod that I raced to create a little friendly competition lope as bracket just as you requested.

51:36It was hard to choose from all the gems to place just 16 in the patch, but I said what I said. As the list of clips and clips has grown over the years, I've got so many questions. Do all the sounds come from the producing team or are you gals allowed to play too? How are they triggered? A signature soundboard phone app or keyboard, which is fly off the shelves on your merch site. I'm just saying, we often hear your reactions live, which we love, but some effects are timed so quickly that firing them in real time would be a tough task, even for mini and a main. Do more sounds get added and post? These are good questions. Also enclosed are a few tasteless nudes for diamond, medallion, boarding. Thank you for your fearless team for keeping the art form of drag political and for using your platform to spread joy, queer power across the Queendom. Always letting loose love, Michael, who has made a bracket of all the soundboard sounds.

52:42This is crazy. These are all things we say. Starting at the bottom left, we have the pop divas bracket. This is like, is this a rubric? Is this what a rubric is? I know you always get tired of bringing it up. Okay. Rubric it. Rubric should low pass. It's like when two teams play and then it goes down to one team and then the two other teams that goes down to one team and then those two teams play and then it goes down to another and then others from the other side. The pop divas bracket, we have salute, salute and unique, which is little mixed versus Beyonce. And I'm sorry to say it, but we use salute, salute more so that wins. That goes forward. The next is the Foley bracket, which is the workroom door and the shade rattle. And I think shade rattle takes the night on that one. Now, that is also one that I also sometimes trigger myself because I have a lot of shade in me.

53:42You saw season four, the beard. So above that is the WAM band bracket, which is thank you and come, come. And thank you, wins. Thank you for sure. Thank you. Thank you. The Blessed and Bundled, which is up, do and do that hair was very small up to up to the night on that one. So it becomes up to versus thank you. And I'm afraid up to does win that one. Yes. And shade rattle versus salute, the shade rattle wins. We love you, Jade. You're still mother. Don't worry. Congrats on your world tour. And then up to versus shade rattle brings shade rattle the win. So shade rattle gets to the final round. Now the other side, are you interested in hearing this listeners, let us know first we have their saying yes.

54:43They want to hear it. Our team is communicating that they are in affirmative. Yes. We have the luscious massacre bracket, which is the newest, but most welcome edition. She is the moment right now. And she has a little girl and don't do it. Don't do it. And that's what's up. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Don't do it. Because I've been calling JC little girl since I known her, but don't do it. I think wins. And then above that is this is the moment versus that's hot gauze, such a good bracket. This is the moment definitely takes the night off. This is the moment wins. And then above that is the mother bracket, which is, is that a read? Is that a read? Well done, mama. Well done, mama. That's tough. They have written down that is that a read wins the night on that one, but that's a close

55:44one. Yeah, that's we're going to have a photo finish on that one. The question will taste break it is that's so upsetting. And I want to say the mistake. So upset. I want to see the mistakes. Oh, that's tough. Yeah. And again, Jade, we love you, but I personally think it's, I want to see the receipts. Yeah, that's very timeless. So I want to see the receipts versus is that a read, is that a read? I think it's I want to see the receipts. Yeah, receipts goes advances. So then it becomes this is the moment versus little girl. And I'm afraid this is the moment takes the night on that. Yes. So now we have the conclusionary battle of shade rattle versus this is the moment. And this is the moment we find out who wait, is this what that one reader wanted us to do with the ASMR and the stems because we just did it for three minutes saying all of

56:47this shit. Are you relaxed? Are you relaxed? Is this it? Very entertained. So the winner is. And exactly that this is the moment Heather headly wins again every time. And she will all always bet on headly always bet on he'll now let's look at his pictures for a photo. Oh, my God. Jesus Christ. It looks like. What the hell? What kind of decks or deck is this? Hold on. So this man is on is this a bare mattress or is it a mattress cover or is it just a good fitted sheet? Was this from your drain or not party? No. Is in a singlet with the, you know, athletic striped socks and what is the pink thing around this? Tom Brown. I think it's Tom Brown. I think he did that for the man. The pink thing is possibly hiding the sharpie where he keeps the marker for the load count or maybe his, his poppers or it could be a port for, I don't know, a medicine or a

57:50quinoine of sorts. The, you know, listen, he looks, he looks great. That entrance looks just ready to be ran through. Now the, the thing that is giving me pause on this from Salt Lake, he has SLUT written on the bed in red paint or blood. So he's on, maybe knows those Mormon girls, a white mattress, okay, and scrolled on the mattress in huge letters. The letters are larger than his whole body. It spells SLUT, like sprayed, it looks like blood splattered, like it's a murder, like fetish? I don't know, but I don't, there's only two things I don't do on purpose in the bedroom and one of them's blood.

58:50Is it possible he wants you to murder this pussy? This, if I was like, if I was an anonymous come dump top, okay, I would, I would first check in with the concierge and get my spot in line. And then if I walked into the water and there are freshmen, there's David, Davidabars, I would feel afraid. I mean, I feel like tops once they've gotten to that point, like anything they walk into, they're like, no, I'm just going to put my dick in the thing and I'm going to just make the thing happen. Like, I don't think this would turn any of them away, but they would certainly remember it as like, remember when I went to that fucking come dump and the guy had fucking blood sprayed all over the fucking bed. Is this Halloween? I need more explanation. What's your name? Michael, you need to give us more explanation and you said a picture of your dick, but why?

59:56Why? I know, it's very nice, but I know that you don't want to use that dick. I know you want to use that. I don't know why you have a dick pick in your phone just to prove you. I don't know. Not laughing at the bottoms. No. From your pedestal of sideness. Oh, yes, versatility is a myth, though, I'm just kidding. You know who wouldn't mind if she could have both. She could have both. And honey, the cock is gigantic. Color blind tops, they couldn't even see that it's red. They would just be thinking, oh, I love Utah too. It's great. Oh, my gosh. Now, thank you so much for this bracket and great bracket. We, you're obviously, you love us and we love that you love us. So thank you for writing in. You're very funny. And he made that bracket while on his phone while getting come dumped in like fully in

1:01:01between the bottoms are on their phone while they're getting fucked looking for the next one. That's how you get Loub on your computer. Oh, no, no good. I don't like using stiffies on my phone. I feel like I'm going to go blind. So I use it on my laptop. You have the minority report computer screen. It's the NASDAQs across the top over my bed frame. Fierce top 89 is out. It's five minutes away. Please. So here's the week we're going to be. He had questions and we didn't answer them. Our soundboard is triggered by our producer, Big Dipper, and then sometimes we're red. Do you put them in and post to Dipper or no less. So we can't spell state secrets like that. This what you need to wait for the report to come out and it'll be it'll be it will be unredacted occasionally they go in post like we were right, but it's rare.

1:02:05It's mostly their fire in real life. We've also touched the soundboard when you've been out of town. So we also have what's the word authority of the power. Well, back in the day when we had an actual I back in the room, you guys were just lean forward and then click every button and stop talking. So then we sort of we removed it from your pause so that you would bring it back. Keep the conversation. Bring it back. Bring it back the olden days next week we're going to be at pod fort and drag fort in Boise, Mama for the tree fort music fest Thursday, March 26, 6 p.m. sharp. We're going to be at the Egyptian theater in Boise, race chaser, race chaser and podcasting live. And this is going to be a fun festival, Mama. And if you're in a small town and you're looking to meet other gay people who also like

1:03:07drag queens, this is where you can meet them. You can go out to a show and meet them. You can stand by the stage door and give me drugs if you want to meet me. There's so many ways to meet people by going out to shows and to get off of your phone. So please come see us and the link for the tickets in the race chaser podcast Instagram. We'd love to see you there. Oh, what are you going to wear? I don't know. I'm thinking of getting a drag though. Oh, send us your letters. We want to get from you. You need advice on dating or sexual positions. How to end a friendship or even start one or what to do at work because Lindsay won't stop eating your egg salad from the office fridge. Oh, that's easy. You put bleach in a regano in it. Oh my God. Let's point. Don't do that. Send us your gay internet scuttle, but gossip in your friend group, queer businesses to shout out whatever you want.

1:04:07Let us know email us at race chaser podcast at gmail.com and we might just read your letter on the show. Mm-hmm. Thank you so much for listening to this episode of Hot Guys, remember, take a moment to rate and review our show on your podcast apps and leave what else if you must. I just realized that man on that mattress with SLUT, that wasn't a helix. That was not a helix. We have to pull it. Oh, I, it's been pulled. I'm afraid our concierge cannot work that event. No. Is she a helix from our talent pool? We have to pull her. I'm sorry. Can I ask one of the avocado people? Shout out to all of our mom plus gold subscribers who were listening to this episode at free behind that good pussy pay. Well, nope. In your ear, no cent birds. Making you listen at freehand side, decide it for mom plus and mom plus gold.

1:05:11Visit patreon.com slash mom plus follows on Instagram at Willem at the only Alaska 5,000 at raced your support at mom podcast on TikTok. Stay safe out there everyone and we will be back next week with another statement piping. Skaw! I'm holding serving. Oh. God. God. Oh. That's hot, God. Oh. Mom! To listen to raced chaser at free sign up for mom plus at mom podcast dot plus, raced chaser is produced by forever dog and moguls of media aka mom hosted by Alaska and Willem and produced by Big Dipper, editing and sound designed by Wilpitz, executive produced by Willem Belli, Alaska Thunderfuck, Big Dipper and Joe Silio, Brett Bohem and Alex Ramsey. Our theme song is by Alaska Thunderfuck 5.

1:06:14Do we have any drag names of the week? You came up with a great one before. What was it? It was a drag king I think, right? Stan Hathaslay. I love that. No. Why not? I think Dan Hathaslay would be great though. I have one. Okay. You've heard of anti-mame, okay. This is anti-mime. No, she's a mime. Yes. She's completely silent. You don't have to learn any lines to do the part just, I love it. Trying to get out of a box. Trying to get out of a comment box on Spotify. Also the person who wrote in about mini-animane, she spelled main wrong. It's M-A-I-N-E because it's related to Jackson main of Jackson mains. The mains from the star is born a little film with Lady Gaga. Thank you for being woman enough.