Horatio Hornblower - Horatio Deals With A Mad King

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2:01Three days since a gentleman called upon me from London, a publisher he called himself, I wanted to persuade me to write what he called my memoirs. I sent the filler away with a flea in his ear. Not true enough that I've seen many places to Walter, the Levant, the coast of Spain, at the inside of a French prison, that I've served and to pill you and to Vincent and Cornwallis, that I was vice admiral Lord Hornblower before I hold down my flag for the last time. But a man forgets much as he grows older and there is much wise man prefers not to remember. So I should write new memoirs, better to sit by my fireside, to recall and tranquillity some incidents of those early years

3:05when first I went to sea in times of war with France. Perhaps the clearest of all in my memory remains my first sight of his Majesty King George's Simmel the Lion Justinian, pitching at her anchors of spithead under the January gale that blustered up the channel. I see myself as a skinny young man just out of boyhood. Thin legs and arms, a white bony face above a high stock and an ill-fitting uniform. I see the dark-lit tan cheeks of Mr. Masters lieutenant of the watch aboard the Justinian. I hear the slapping of the waves against her hull as I climbed awkwardly into her courted head. Come aboard, sir. Your name? Horatio Homblo, sir.

4:05Very good, Mr. Homblo. Did you bring your dungage aboard with you? There's my sea chest, sir. Followed at the entry-port. I'll have it sent below. I'd advise you to get out of those wet clothes while you can. The captains are sure you'll see you on his return. Hi, I, sir. Senior midshipman of your mess is Mr. Simpson. Report yourself to him. Hi, I, sir. My name's Horatio Homblo. Midshipman. Would you be, Mr. Simpson? Report him, but my name. I can only suppose you boarded this ship to thrust yourself among your bettards.

5:06Be a looseness to those who have to teach you your duties while speaking the French. The king's latest bad bard in it. How old are you? Seventeen, sir. You must start at twelve and you hope to be a seamen. Do you know the difference between a head and a halion? I can look it up in Nori's seamen, sir. Look it up. You'd better. If you'll excuse me, sir. What's the matter? I'm afraid. I'm afraid. I'm going. Good God. The boy is sea-sick. Sea-sick and spit it and hopes to make a seamen. Get out of here before you've held my deck. Aye, aye, sir.

6:12It was a bad enough beginning. The beginning to days of loneliness and misery for a boy shy and unsure of himself and found the midshipman's birth occupied by men all a good deal older than he who, for the most part, ignored him. Nor was there much in his first interview with Captain Keen to console or encourage him. Sir, you're a doctor, son, I see. Yes, sir. Born July the 4th, 1776. Five years before I was posted as Captain. Yes, sir. If you wanted to make a career for yourself, young man, you should have picked a lord for your father. How far did your education go? Greek and Latins, sir. So you can construe Xenophon as well as Cicero? Not very well, sir. Better if you could foresee a skull in time to get gallant in. The Navy has no use for the Ability of Absolute. I have a fair grounding in mathematics, sir.

7:13Signs and cosides. Oh, they have their uses. Well, they all learned if you did, not much harm can come to you. Thank you, sir. One thing more, Mr. Hornblur. I hope you pay attention to the senior warrant officer of the midshipman's birth, John Simpson. I do my best, sir. Yeah, that is well. Mr. Simpson has ability. He is also his own worst enemy. He was given rank as acting lieutenant, which would have been confirmed at his mathematical knowledge, being sufficient to make him a reliable navigator, and so he conceived himself to have a grievance. Once went the farthest to addresses of peerary officer, as a turnip head, study Mr. Simpson, Mr. Hornblur, and profit by what you see and hear. I find you a difficult young man, Mr. Hornblur. I'm sorry, Mr. Simpson. I do my best to even grudge me a clean shirt from your own lavish supply.

8:15I find that unfriendly, Mr. Hornblur. As a doctor, sir, and I should have expected sympathy with a needy. What are you saying, Mr. Cleveland? Oh, I agree with you, Mr. Simpson. And no doubt the doctor was on good terms with the passing. And no doubt the passing helped with the education of Mr. Hornblur. Perhaps he taught Mr. Hornblur that fine poem, energy in a country churchyard. He did indeed, Mr. Simpson, to favour it in mind. You may care to refresh my memory of it by reciting one or two verses. I'm not sure that I can act but I am certain you can, Mr. Hornblur. At any rate, you can try. Well, if you insist, I do, Mr. Hornblur. I rarely do insist. The curfew told for now the passing day. The lowing herd winds slowly are the lee. The... I fear I don't recall at the moment your dark scabbard

9:20if you please, Mr. Cleveland. Here, Mr. Simpson. Thank you. Now, if you will place Mr. Hornblur's head between your knees, I will do my best to stimulate his memory. The curfew tells the nail of passing day. The lowing herd winds slowly are the lee. There were moments during those weeks while the Justinian-laid anchor in that January of 94 when I longed and such as the absurdity of youth even prayed for sudden death to rescue me from the tyranny of John Simpson. There came a day when he and I were assured in charge of a press gang awaiting the hands from the expected West Indian convoy. We sat comfortably in the back pile of the lamb in before a roaring fire. Simpson, with a pot of beer, laced with gin. That is Elbow.

10:23For one source well with the word, he has to the convoy and may she be long delayed. Drink up, boy. Ah, Mr. Chork, you're servant. Thank you, Mr. Simpson. I don't think I know your young companion. Mr. Hornler, Lieutenant Chork of the Goliath. You should know Mr. Hornler, Mr. Chork. Distinguished as the midshipman who was seasick the very day he came aboard in spithead. I have heard of other naval officers who suffer from seasick as Mr. Simpson. Perhaps you will join me in a glass. I feel we may have a long wait for the convoy. Your men are properly posted to watch for their hands as they come ashore. They are, sir. That is well. You know I imagine the time in general charge of the press gangs are short. So Captain Keenan Horn, please. Now we must find some way to pass the time while we wait. Oh, let me present my midshipman, Mr. Caldwell. Gentlemen.

11:23I suggest a game of cards. Perhaps Wist would give us all scope for the exercise of our talents. You are acquainted with it, Caldwell. The rudiment, sir. Mr. Simpson. I enjoy any game of chance. Mr. Hornler. With pleasure, sir. Excellent. Stakes gentlemen. A shilling a trick and a guinea on the rub. Oh, I'm not a little capitol. Then we may cut at once for places and partners. Hey, Putman. Two clean packs of cards, more lights and refill the glass. As it happened, I had learnt Wist in a good school. With my father, his friend, the local person, and the person's wife. It took no more than three hands to realise that the captain and chalk played a capitol game. That Caldwell was moderate, and that John Simpson was hopeless. It took not much longer to realise that he was not only a bad player, but a bad loser.

12:23His face grew flushed with more than the heat of the fire. And as the Putman came and went with liquor, so Simpson became both restless and noisy. My luck was in, and it was obvious that the captain and chalk was relieved to have me for his partner. My ace takes your queen collar. And the rest are mine. What do you mean, Hornblower? I hold the king. He's right, Simpson. Five Fricks, Game and Rubber. Damn it. I take another. Whether you lead diamonds or hearts, I'd trump and make three more clubs, Mr. Simpson. It seems to me you know too much about the game, Hornblower. You know the backs of the cards almost as well as you know they're front. That is an insult, Mr. Simpson. I shall have to ask you for satisfaction. I'm Mr. Hornblower. Mr. Simpson had a moment with loss of temper. I'm sure he will explain. I have been accused of cheating a card, sir. It's a thing that takes time explaining away. Damn me, if I'll say... Mr. Simpson! Wine in and wit out, says the proverb.

13:24All friends here, I'm sure. Mr. Simpson was only joking. I know, Mr. Hornblower. Let us call for another bottle. With pleasure, sir. Good. If Mr. Simpson will beg my pardon before you to gentlemen, and admit that he spoke without justification, otherwise only one satisfaction is possible. Apologise? To you? I'll see you in hell first. He's hardly more than a boy Simpson. You can apologise without... Apologise be damned. I shall look forward to letting daylight in here. You are a rash young man, Mr. Hornblower. I blame myself that I gave occasion for what has happened, all the same. I had no alternative, sir. Perhaps. Nonetheless, when Mr. Simpson is cooler. No, sir. But I should be greatly obliged to you if you would have prized Captain Keen of the facts. Gladly. Thank you, sir. And perhaps Mr. Coldwell here will act for you. Of course.

14:24The man's a bully. And plays a mighty bad handed wist. Then I'll wish you luck, Mr. Hornblower. It's time I made the round of my patrols. If I were you, Hornblower, I'd take the turn, chalk's advice. He's a good officer. I'm sure of that. But you won't. Would you? Well, how do you want to fight that bully Simpson? Well, you're the aggrieved party. You've choice of weapons. Any skill with a small sword? Never handled one. Then, pistols. I've heard he's a good shot. You're pretty cool. Maybe. I hardly care. But I thought we might make the chances more even. And how would you propose to do that? In fact, we could make them exactly even, Coldwell. We could have two pistols. One loaded and the other empty. Simpson and I take our choice without knowing which is which. Stand within a yard of each other and fire on the word. I doubt if it would be legal.

15:24Well, one of you would be killed for certain. I thought killing was the object of the duel. You wanted me, sir. I did, masters. It's this absurd business of a meeting arranged between young Hornblower and John Simpson. Yes, sir. It shouldn't take place. Not, sir. But found it, man. My officers have better things to do than to try to kill each other, especially when our country is at war. Quite so, Captain Keen, sir. But when a ship is at anchor for weeks on air... That may be an explanation. It is not an excuse. I want you to settle this business. Attempts have been made, sir. Both men are very stubborn. What is a boy? The other is a bully. A trivial lieutenant master, it won't do. Everyone in the ship is aware of the facts of the case. If I might be frank, sir. Certainly, certainly. I believe it would be good for the general morale of the ship if the thing was brought to a head.

16:24Why do you say that? Simpson is generally a disliked, sir. Young Hornblower, he's an unknown quantity. He may be only shy. He may be too big for his boots. But under the conditions demanded by Hornblower confounding one of the other is almost certain to be killed. Exactly, sir. Oh, you like the idea. It would solve problems, sir. If you mean what I think, I don't like it. I'll see here. I rely on you, masters, to do your very best to achieve an accommodation. An accommodation. You understand? Why insist on satisfaction, Mr. Hornblower? I understand it was merely a question of a few hasty words over cars and wine. Mr. Simpson accused me of cheating, sir, before witnesses. And the witnesses were not officers of this ship. I'm aware of that. And they've been my shipmates and might have chosen to disregard Mr. Simpson's words as the ramblings of a drunken ball. What passed between us is now a common property in the fleet. There is no hushing it up.

17:26You still demand satisfaction? I do, sir. I see. Do I also understand you are insisting on unusual conditions for the meeting? I suppose they might be called unusual, sir. There is no question of supposed, Mr. Hornblower. There are precedents, sir. As the insulted party, I am entitled to choose any conditions which the seconds deem to be fair. That is the talk of a sea lawyer, not of a ship's officer. I'm sorry for that, sir. My father has often rebuked me for being too glib with my tongue. Let us keep to the point. You are absolutely determined to continue with a business I can only describe as murderous? Yes, sir. Then I must inform you that Captain Keane has instructed me to be present at your meeting with Mr. Simpson. On account of these strange conditions on which you have insisted. Yes, sir. I shall request the seconds to make their arrangements accordingly. Very good, sir. I am grateful for the captain's concern on my account. Look what's over there! Make no mistake, Mr. Hornblower. The captain has things more important to consider than your skin.

18:26I am sure of that. The feeling is mutual. Mr. Hornblower, are you a pig or a fool? Sometimes I have asked myself that question, sir. Indeed, and have you answered it? Not yet, sir. Not to my own satisfaction. I hope that one day I may be able. All my life I have suffered from a sense of uncertainty and certainty regarding myself. Perhaps it is to that sense that I owe a certain stubbornness of disposition once I have made up my mind. Over this business with John Simpson, there was much to be said for escaping from my persecution to his hands by dying. At the same time, I realized it would be agreeable to escape from anything without dying. Simpson was certainly a bit assortment. It might be a bit of a shot. The conditions for the meeting, which I had named, surely gave me rather more than an even chance, which was just as well.

19:26As I lay awake hearing the Justinian's bell ring out each half-hour during the night before the morning arranged for the duel, I knew that if I had no more to depend upon than steadiness of hand and eye, I should almost certainly be dead before another nightfall. Tala Redic here from 2311 Racing. Victory Lane? Yeah! It's even better with Chamba by my side. Race to ChambaCasino.com. Let's Chamba. No purchase necessary. VTW Group. Boy, we're prohibited by law. CTNCs. 21 Plus. Sponsored by Chamba Casino. Every day the world gets a little weirder, and a lot more awesome. Cool stuff daily takes a look at everything from mining in space to the latest in the fight against cancer to how AI is basically changing everything. It's all the cool stuff you didn't know you needed to know. Join us for cool stuff daily as we take a quick look at science, tech, and the wait what stories that make you sound way smarter at dinner.

20:28Subscribe to cool stuff daily now because the future is happening fast and it's way too fun to miss. This is Mike Boilow of Lexicon Valley. And I'm Bob Garfield. Are you one of those people who sometimes uses words? Do you communicate or acquire information with, you know, language? Hey, us too! So join us on Lexicon Valley to true over the history, culture, and many mysteries of English. Plus some life cracks. Find us on one of those apps where people listen to podcasts. An hour before dawn. Rivali. Caldwell was waiting for me at the jetty with a hackney coach. Take a sip of this one, blah. It's a warmly stomach. You have no special need for a steady hand this morning.

21:29Thank you, no. I had some tea before coming ashore. The others will be there before us. I saw the quarterboat heading back just before I reached the jetty. The sawbones is with them. God knows what you see can be in the circumstances. No doubt you'll do his best. How do you feel? Well enough, I think. Now gentlemen, here are the pistols. Both, as you see, are primed, but only one is loaded. I propose to spin this coin to decide the allocation of the weapons. Let the winner of the spin choose. Very well. Pray call, Mr. Hornblower. Tails. Tails, it is. Make your choice, Mr. Hornblower.

22:30This one, if you please. I have done what was required of me. It remains for you two gentlemen to carry the business through. Yes, sir. Take this one, Mr. Simpson. I'm obliged, you sir. I trust Mr. Hornblower will handle that weapon more carefully. He is a public danger. There are no distances to step out on this occasion. It's level enough here, I fancy. Will you stand here, Hornblower? And you here, Mr. Simpson? I thank you. For the last time, gentlemen. I beg you. Can you not be reconciled? A moment. Who is to give the word to fire? Thank you, Mr. Cleveland. I suggest we ask Lieutenant Masters to give it. If you all agree, very well. I will say one, two, three, fire, with those intervals. On that last word, you may fire at will. You are ready? Yes.

23:30Ready. One, two, three. Despite the pounding of my heart, my mind was clear. At that moment, I knew that even if the loaded pistol was mine, I could not kill Simpson. A wound would suffice. I raised the weapon slightly so that it was directed towards the point of Simpson's shoulder. Fire! He's your Simpson. Thank you, Cleveland. It looks like it. I miss fire by God. Give me those pistols. The loaded one's hanging fire. We don't want it to go off now. Honour is satisfied. Both gentlemen have passed through this ordeal with credit. No one now can think less of Mr. Simpson if he expresses his regret to Mr. Hornblower.

24:30No one can think less of Mr. Hornblower if he accepts such a statement in reparation. Mr. Simpson? If you say so, sir. Mr. Hornblower? Very well. That is satisfactory. I wish you could all see all faces. Solomon's cow. Mr. Cleveland, be so good as to relieve your feelings in a manner more befitting. Well, gentlemen, our coach is awaiting and the cutter is at the jetty. I think we should all be the better for some breath. And that, I fancy, should have been the end of the incident. The talk he did occasioned in the anchored squadron died away. It made more difference to me than I now care to confess that the name of Hornblower no longer meant the midshipman who had been seasick when he boarded the Justinian, but a man who had been willing to face an even chance of death in cold blood. However, in the Justinian herself there was other talk. Whisperers circulated and grew. They came to my ears and very angry they made me.

25:33I believe you wanted to see me, Mr. Hornblower. I do, Captain King. You seem to me rather a disturbed young man. With reason, sir. Yes. I fancy I can guess what you wish to say. Those pistols you were in my duel with Mr. Simpson. Neither of them was loaded, sir. No, quite correct, Mr. Hornblower. I gave the orders to Lieutenant Masters. What is more, I saved the life for the King's service, a valuable life. No one has suffered harm. Both you and Simpson have amplified your courage. You both know you can stand fire. That is valuable knowledge for a naval officer. Every man in this squadron knows it too. My honor remains in question, sir. Blur your courage with picketness, Mr. Hornblower. Seems I have to remind you of one admirable regulation of the Navy. Until the effect that no junior officer can challenge his superior to a duel. If the reason is obvious, otherwise promotion might become too easy.

26:36So the mere issuing of a challenge by a junior to a senior is an offense, Mr. Hornblower. I see now that I acted hastily and foolishly, sir. Good. In that case, sir. There is another matter that I wish to take up with you, Mr. Hornblower. Sir? Get the impel you of the indefatigable has room for another midshipman. What's more, he's partial to a game of wisdom has no good forth on board. Now he and I have agreed to consider favorably your application for it. I should you care to make one. I don't imagine I have to point out that any young officer with ambitions would jump at the chance of serving under Captain Pelu in a frigate. No, sir. Rise, money, distinction, promotion, you can reasonably help for all of these. Of course, I would not wish to influence you and you, Mr. Hornblower, but I do not think that I am exaggerating when I say it is the opportunity of a lifetime. It is more than good of you, sir.

27:37I hardly know how to thank you. At the same time, you accepted me as a midshipman in the Justinian. Of course, I must stay with you. Thank you, Mr. Hornblower. However, I am going to insist on your accepting the offer. As Lieutenant Masters has, I gather intimated to you this ship is not the place for a young man of promise. A midshipman are older than they should be. So you see, I do have the good of the service, in mind. I hardly know what to say, sir. I then say nothing. Simply accept Captain Pelu's invitation. It would make things easier for me if you did. It would also make things easier for John Simpson. You understand? Aye, I, sir. I understand. And I appreciate your frankness and advice, sir. It remains for me to wish you the best and could fortune under your new command, Mr. Hornblower. I was never to know exactly what was in Captain Keen's mind. The good of the service, the future welfare of the midshipman, the hardly new.

28:40Captain Pelu's need of a fourth at waste, the desirability of separating John Simpson from myself. At the time I could only think of the frigate indefatigable, sailing free for the bay of Biscay and operations of the coast of France. I've said Edward Pelu with his reputation as a frigate captain. For the first time I think I was convinced that I had a future as a naval officer. In part one of the Hornblower story, you heard Nigel Antony as Lord Hornblower the narrator,

29:43with Nicholas Fry in the role of Horatio as a youth. Lieutenant Masters was played by Antony Wingate, Mr. Mitchipman Simpson, Ralph Lawford, Captain Keen, Charles Foster, Mr. Mitchipman Cleveland, Paul Hertzberg, Lieutenant Chalk Ian Flintoff, and Mr. Mitchipman Coldwell Keith Ladd. The musical score is composed by Johnny Pearson. The Hornblower story is directed in Manchester by Trevor Hill, assisted by Christopher Hayden-Wem. Step into the world of power, loyalty and luck. I'm going to make him an offer he can't refuse. With family, conoles and spins mean everything. Now, you want to get mixed up in the family business. Introducing the Godfather at ChampaCasino.com.

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