Horatio Hornblower - Horatio Deals With A Mad King

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2:13We present Nigel Antony in the Hornblower story. Adapted from four of the CS Forrest & Novels by Val Gehlgood. Part one from Mr. Mitchettmann Hornblower, The Even Chance. Three days since a gentleman called upon me from London, a publisher he called himself, wanted to persuade me to write what he called my memoirs. Sent the fellow away with a flea in his ear. Not true enough that I've seen many places to bolter the Levant, the coast of Spain, the inside of a French prison, that I've served and appealed you, and since Vincent and Cornwallis, that I was vice admiral Lord Hornblower before I hauled down my flag for the last time.

3:13But a man forgets much as he grows older, and there is much wise man prefers not to remember. So I shall write new memoirs, better to sit by my fireside to recall in tranquillities, some incidents of those early years, when first I went to see in times of war with France. Perhaps the clearest of all in my memory remains my first sight of his majesty, King George's Sympathaline, Justinian, pitching at her anchors off spithead under the January gale that blustered up the channel. I see myself as a skinny young man just out of boyhood, thin legs and arms, a white bony face above a high stock and a little fitting uniform. I see the dark lift and cheeks of Mr. Masters, lieutenant of the watch aboard the Justinian. I hear the slapping of the waves against her hull as I climbed awkwardly to her courted head.

4:19Come aboard sir. Your name? Croatia Hormblower sir. A very good Mr. Hormblower. Did you bring your dungage aboard with you? There's my sea chest sir, forered at the entry port. I'll have it sent below. I'd advise you to get out of those wet clothes while you can. The captains are sure you'll see you on his return. Aye aye sir. Senior midshipman of your mess is Mr. Simpson. Report yourself to him. Aye aye sir. Aye aye sir. My name's Hormblower, midshipman.

5:21Would you be Mr. Simpson? Report in, but my name. I can only suppose you boarded this ship to thrust yourself among your bettards. To be a looseness to those who have to teach you your duties while speaking the French. The king's latest bad bard in it. How old are you? Seventeen sir. You must start at twelve and you hope to be a seamen. Do you know the difference between a head and a halion? I can look it up in Nori's seamen, sir. Look it up. You better. If you'll excuse me, sir. What's the matter? I'm afraid I'm afraid. I'm going. Good god. The boy's seasick. Seasick and spit it and hopes to make a seamen. Get out of here before you power my deck. Aye aye sir. It was a bad enough beginning, a beginning to days of loneliness and misery for the boy,

6:44shy and unsure of himself and found the midshipman's birth occupied by men all a good deal older than he who for the most part ignored him. Nor was there much in his first interview with Captain Keen to console or encourage him. So you're a doctor, son, I see. Yes, sir. Born July the 4th, 1776. Five years before I was posted as Captain. Yes, sir. If you wanted to make a career for yourself, young man, you should have picked a lord for your father. How far did your education go? Greek and Latins, sir. So you can construe Zenophon as well as Cicero. Not very well, sir. Better if you could foresee a score all in time to get gallant in. The navy has no use for an ablative absolute. I have a fair grounding in mathematics, sir. Signs and go sides. Now they have their uses. Well, they orders learned if you do this, not much harm can come to you.

7:48Thank you, sir. One thing more, Mr. Hornblur, I hope you pay attention to the senior warrant officer of the midshaman's birth, John Simpson. I do my best, sir. That is well. Mr. Simpson has ability. He is also his own worst enemy. He was given rank as acting lieutenant, which would have been confirmed at his mathematical knowledge being sufficient to make him a reliable navigator. And so he conceived himself to have a grievance. Once went so far as to address his superior officer as a turnip head. Study, Mr. Simpson, Mr. Hornblur, and profit by what you see and hear. I find you a difficult young man, Mr. Hornblur. I'm sorry, Mr. Simpson. I do my best to even grudge me a clean shirt from your own lavish supply. I find that unfriendly, Mr. Hornblur.

8:48As a doctor's son, I should have expected sympathy with a needy. What do you say, Mr. Cleveland? Oh, I agree with you, Mr. Simpson. And no doubt the doctor was on good terms with the passing. And no doubt the passing helped with the education of Mr. Hornblur. Perhaps he taught Mr. Hornblur that fine poem, energy in a country churchyard. He did indeed, Mr. Simpson, to favor it in mind. You may care to refresh my memory of it by reciting one or two verses. I'm not sure that I can act, but I'm certain you can, Mr. Hornblur. At any rate, you can thrive. Well, if you insist, I do, Mr. Hornblur. I rarely do insist. Curfew told the knell of passing day. The, the, the, the, the, the, the, I fear I don't recall at the moment.

9:48You're dirt-scabbard if you please, Mr. Cleveland. Here, Mr. Simpson. Thank you. Now, if you will place Mr. Hornblur's head between your knees, I will do my best to stimulate his memory. The curfew tells the knell of passing day. The lowing hurt. Why, slowly, for the leak. There were moments during those weeks, while the Justinian-laid anchor in that January of 94, when I longed, and such as the absurdity of youth, even prayed for sudden death to rescue me from the tyranny of Johnson Simpson. There came a day when he and I were ashore in charge of a press gang, awaiting the hands from an expected West Indian convoy. We sat comfortably in the back pile of the lamb in, before a roaring fire. Simpson, with a pot of beer, laced with gin. That is Elbow.

10:49For one source well with the word, he has to the convoy and may she be long delayed. Drink up, boy. Mr. Chauk, you're servant. Thank you, Mr. Simpson. I don't think I know your young companion. Mr. Hornblur, Lieutenant Chauk of the Goliath, you should know Mr. Hornblur, Mr. Chauk, distinguished as the midshipman who was seasick the very day he came aboard in the spithead. I have heard of other naval officers who suffer from seasickness, Mr. Simpson. Perhaps you will join me in a glass, I feel we may have a long wait for the convoy. Your men are properly posted to watch for their hands as they come ashore. They are, sir. That is well. You know I imagine the time in general charge of the press gangs ashore. So Captain Keenan Hornblur, is it? Now, we must find some way to pass the time while we wait. Oh, let me present my midshipman, Mr. Caldwell. I suggest a game of cards.

11:51Perhaps West would give us all scope for the exercise of our talents. You are acquainted with it, Caldwell. The rudiment, sir. Mr. Simpson. I enjoy any game of chance. Mr. Hornblur. With pleasure, sir. Excellent. Stakes gentlemen, a shilling a trick and a guinea on the rub. Oh, I know, absolutely. Capital, then we may cut at once for places and partners. Hey, Potman! Two clean packs of cards, more lights and refill the glass. As it happened, I had learnt West in a good school. With my father, his friend, the local passing, and the passing's wife. It took no more than three hands to realise that left of the chalk played a capital game, that Caldwell was moderate, and that John Simpson was hopeless. It took not much longer to realise that he was not only a bad player, but a bad loser. His face grew flushed with more than the heat of the fire,

12:53and as the Potman came and went with liquor, so Simpson became both restless and noisy. My luck was in, and it was obvious that Tim and chalk was relieved to have me for his partner. My ace takes your queen, Caldwell. And the rest are mine. What do you mean, Hornblur? I hold the king. He's right, Simpson. Fifrix, game and rubber. Damn it. I take another. Whether you lead diamonds or hearts, I'd trump and make three more clubs, Mr. Simpson. It seems to me you know too much about the game. Hornblur, you know the backs of the cards almost as well as you know they're front. That is an insult, Mr. Simpson. I shall have to ask you for satisfaction. I'm, uh, Mr. Hornblur, Mr. Simpson had a moment with us of temper. I'm sure he will explain. I have been accused of cheating at Cards, sir, into a thing that takes some explaining away. Damn me, if I'll take it. Mr. Simpson, whining in and wit out says the proverb. All friends here, I'm sure.

13:53Mr. Simpson was only joking, I know Mr. Hornblur. Let us call for another bottle. With pleasure, sir. Good. If Mr. Simpson will beg my pardon before you to gentlemen, and admit that he spoke without justification, otherwise only one satisfaction is possible. Apologize to you. I'll see you in hell first. He's hardly more than a boy, Simpson. You can apologize without... Apologize, be damned. I shall look forward to letting daylight in here. You are a rash young man, Mr. Hornblur. I blame myself that I gave occasion for what has happened, all the same. I had no alternative, sir, perhaps. Nonetheless, when Mr. Simpson is cooler. No, sir. But I should be greatly obliged to if you would have told me that I would be able to pay you a price of the facts. Gladly. Thank you, sir. And perhaps Mr. Caldwell here will act for you. Of course. The man's a bully. And plays a mighty bad handed wist.

14:55Then I'll wish you luck, Mr. Hornblur. It's time I made the round of my patrols. If I were you, Hornblur, I'd take letter and chalk's advice. He's a good officer. I'm sure of that. That you won't. Would you? Well, how do you want to fight that bully Simpson? Well, you're the aggrieved party. You've choice of weapons. Any skill with a small sword? Never handled one. Then, pistols. I've heard he's a good shot. You're pretty cool. Maybe. I hardly care. But I thought we might make the chances more even. And how would you propose to do that? In fact, we could make them exactly even, Caldwell. We could have two pistols. One loaded and the other empty. Simpson and I take our choice without knowing which is which. Stand within a yard of each other and fire on the word. I doubt if it would be legal. Well, one of you would be killed for certain. I thought killing was the object of the duel.

16:01You wanted me, sir. I did, masters. It's the subset business of a meeting arranged between young Hornblur and John Simpson. Yes, sir. It shouldn't take place. Not, sir. Confound it, man. My officers have better things to do than to try to kill each other, especially when our country is at war. Quite so, Captain Keen, sir. But when a ship is at anchor for weeks on air, that may be an explanation. It is not an excuse. I want you to settle this business. Attempts have been made, sir. Both men are very stubborn. What is a boy? The other is a bully. Until you left, and had masters, it won't do. Everyone in the ship is aware of the facts of the case. If I might be frank, sir. Certainly, certainly. I believe it would be good for the general morale of the ship if the thing was brought to a head. Why do you say that? Simpson is generally a disliked, sir. Young Hornblur, he's an unknown quantity. He may be only shy. He may be too big for his boots.

17:02But under the conditions demanded by Hornblur, confounding one of the other is almost certain to be killed. Exactly so, sir. Oh, you like the idea? It would solve problems, sir. If you mean what I think, I don't like it. I'll see here. I rely on you, masters, to do your very best to achieve an accommodation. An accommodation. You understand? Why insist on satisfaction, Mr Hornblur? I understand it was merely a question of a few hasty words over cards and wine. Mr Simpson accused me of cheating, sir, before witnesses. And the witnesses were not officers of this ship. I'm aware of that. And they've been my shipmates and might have chosen to disregard Mr Simpson's words as the ramblings of a drunken ball. What passed between us is now common property in the fleet. There is no hushing it up. You still demand satisfaction? I do, sir. I see. Do I also understand you are insisting on unusual conditions for the meeting? I suppose they might be called unusual, sir.

18:02There is no question of suppose, Mr Hornblur. There are precedents, sir. As the insulted party, I am entitled to choose any conditions, which the seconds deem to be fast. That is the talk of a sea lawyer, not of a ship's officer. I'm sorry for that, sir. My father has often rebuked me for being too glib with my tongue. Let us keep to the point. You are absolutely determined to continue with a business I can only describe as murderous? Yes, sir. Then I must inform you that Captain Keane has instructed me to be present at your meeting with Mr Simpson. On account of these strange conditions on which you have insisted. Yes, sir. I shall request the seconds to make their arrangements accordingly. Very good, sir. I am grateful for the captain's concern on my account. Look what I've done! Make no mistake, Mr Hornblur. The captain has things more important to consider than your skin. I am sure of that. The feeling is mutual. Mr Hornblur, are you a prick or a fool? Sometimes I have asked myself that question, sir. Indeed, and have you answered it?

19:02Not yet, sir. Not to my own satisfaction. I hope that one day I may be able. All my life I have suffered from a sense of uncertainty. And certainty regarding myself. Perhaps it is to that sense that I owe a certain stubbornness of disposition once I have made up my mind. Over this business with John Simpson, there was much to be said for escaping from my persecution in his hands by dying. At the same time, I realised it would be agreeable to escape from it without dying. Simpson was certainly a better swordsman. It might be a better shot. The conditions for the meeting, which I have named, surely gave me rather more than an even chance, which was just as well. As I lay awake, hearing the Justinian's bell ring out each half-hour during the night before the morning, arranged for the duel, I knew that if I had no more to depend upon

20:03than steadiness of hand and eye, I should almost certainly be dead before another nightfall. Access to affordable credit helps me pay my employees that I don't really need it. Inflation is killing me! But who cares? Big retailers that make it record profits! That's why we support the German Marshall Credit Card Bill! See, banks and credit unions help small businesses make payroll. This bill would cut the vital resources they need. While increasing Megastore profits, they deserve it. Don't they? Tell Congress, stop the German Marshall Money Grab for corporate Megastores. Paid for by the Electronic Payments Coalition. Finding great candidates to hire can be like, well, trying to find a needle in a haystack. Sure, you can post your job to some job board, but then all you can do is hope the right person comes along, which is why you should try Zip Recruiter for free at ziprecruiter.com slash zip. Zip Recruiter doesn't depend on candidates finding you.

21:03It finds them for you. It's powerful technology identifies people with the right experience and actively invites them to apply to your job. You get qualified candidates fast. So, while other companies might deliver a lot of hey, Zip Recruiter finds you what you're looking for. The needle in the haystack. See why four out of five employers who post a job on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day? Zip Recruiter, the smartest way to hire. And right now, you can try Zip Recruiter for free. That's right, free at ziprecruiter.com slash zip. That ziprecruiter.com slash zip. Zip Recruiter.com slash zip. Finding great candidates to hire can be like, well, trying to find a needle in a haystack. Sure, you can post your job to some job board, but then all you can do is hope the right person comes along, which is why you should try Zip Recruiter for free at ziprecruiter.com slash zip. Zip Recruiter doesn't depend on candidates finding you. It finds them for you.

22:04It's powerful technology identifies people with the right experience and actively invites them to apply to your job. You get qualified candidates fast. So while other companies might deliver a lot of, hey, Zip Recruiter finds you what you're looking for. The needle in the haystack. See why four out of five employers who post a job on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day? Zip Recruiter, the smartest way to hire. And right now, you can try Zip Recruiter for free. That's right, free at ziprecruiter.com slash zip. That ziprecruiter.com slash zip. Ziprecruiter.com slash zip. Anar before dawn, Rivali. Caldwell was waiting for me at the jetty with a hackney coach. Take a sip of this one, blah. It's a warmest stomach. You have no special need for a steady hand this morning.

23:06Thank you, no. I had some tea before coming ashore. The others will be there before us. I saw the quarterboat heading back just before I reached the jetty. I saw bones as with them. And God knows what you see can be in the circumstances. No doubt you'll do his best. How do you feel? Well enough, I think. Now gentlemen, here are the pistols, both as you see are primed, but only one is loaded. I propose to spin this coin to decide the allocation of the weapons. Let the winner of the spin choose. Very well. Pray call, Mr. Hornblower. Tails. Tails, it is. Make your choice, Mr. Hornblower.

24:07This one, if you please. I have done what was required of me. It remains for you two gentlemen to carry the business through. Yes, sir. Take this one, Mr. Simpson. I'm obliged to you, sir. I trust Mr. Hornblower will handle that weapon more carefully. He is a public danger. There are no distances to step out on this occasion. It's level enough here, I fancy. Will you stand here, Hornblower? And you here, Mr. Simpson? I thank you. For the last time, gentlemen, I beg you. Can you not be reconciled? A moment. Who is to give the word to fire? Thank you, Mr. Cleveland. I suggest we ask Lieutenant Masters to give it. If you all agree, very well. I will say one, two, three, fire with those intervals. On that last word, you may fire at will. You are ready? Yes, ready.

25:09One, two, three. Despite the pounding of my heart, my mind was clear. At that moment, I knew that even if the loaded pistol was mine, I could not kill Simpson. A wound would suffice. I raised the weapon slightly so that it was directed towards the point of Simpson's shoulder. Fire! He's your Simpson. Thank you, Cleveland. It looks like it. I miss fire, by God. Give me those pistols. The loaded ones hang fire. We don't want it to go off now. Oh, that's too few. Honour is satisfied. Both gentlemen have passed through this ordeal with credit. No one now can think less of Mr. Simpson if he expresses his regret to Mr. Hornblower. No one can think less of Mr. Hornblower if he accepts such a statement in reparation.

26:12Mr. Simpson? If you say so, sir. Mr. Hornblower? Very well. That is satisfactory. I wish you could all see all faces. Solomon's cow. Mr. Cleveland, be so good as to relieve your feelings in a manner more befitting. Well, gentlemen, our coach is awaiting and the cut was at the jetty. I think we should all be the better for some breakfast. And that, I fancy, should have been the end of the incident. The talk he did occasioned in the anchored squadron died away. It made more difference to me than I now care to confess that the name of Hornblower no longer meant the midshipman who had been seasick when he boarded the Justinian, but a man who had been willing to face an even chance of death in cold blood. However, in the Justinian herself, there was other talk. Whisperer circulated and grew. They came to my ears and very angry, they made me. I believe you wanted to see me, Mr. Hornblower. I do, Captain Keen.

27:13You seem to me rather a disturbed young man. With reasons, sir. Yes. I fancy I can guess what you wish to say. Those pistols you were semi-dual with, Mr. Simpson. Neither of them was loaded, sir. You're quite correct, Mr. Hornblower. I gave the orders to lieutenant masters. What is more, I saved the life for the king's service, a valuable life. No one has suffered harm. Both you and Simpson have amplified your courage. You both know you can stand fire. That is valuable knowledge for a naval officer. Every man in his squadron knows it too. My honour remains in question, sir. Yeah, blur your courage with picketness, Mr. Hornblower. Seems I have to remind you of one admirable regulation of the navy, until the effect that no junior officer can challenge his superior to a duel. If the reason is obvious, otherwise promotion might become too easy. So the mere issuing of a challenge by a junior to a senior

28:16is an offense, Mr. Hornblower. I see now that I acted hastily and foolishly, sir. Good. In that case, sir. There is another matter that I wish to take up with you, Mr. Hornblower. Sir? Get the impel you of the indefaticable has room for another midshipman. What's more, he's partial to a game of wisdom has no good forth on board. Now he and I have agreed to consider favourably your application for it. I should you care to make one. I don't imagine I have to point out that any young officer with ambitions would jump at the chance of serving under Captain Perly in a frigate. No, sir. As money and distinction promotion, you can reasonably help for all of these. Of course, I would not wish to influence you and you, Mr. Hornblower, but I do not think that I am exaggerating when I say, it is the opportunity of a lifetime. It is more than good of you, sir. I hardly know how to thank you. At the same time, you accepted me as a midshipman in the Justinian.

29:20Of course, I must stay with you. Thank you, Mr. Hornblower. However, I am going to insist on your accepting the offer. Captain Keene! As Lieutenant Masters has, I gather intimated to you, this ship is not the place for a young man of promise. A midshipman are older than they should be. You see, I do have the good of the service, in mind. I hardly know what to say, sir. Now then say nothing, simply accept Captain Pellew's invitation. It would make things easier for me if you did. It would also make things easier for John Simpson. You understand? Aye, I, sir. I understand. And I appreciate your frankness and advice, sir. Then it remains for me to wish you the best and good fortune under your new command, Mr. Hornblower. I was never to know exactly what was in Captain Keene's mind. The good of the service, the future welfare of the midshipman, the hardly new, Captain Pellew's need of a fourth at waste, the deserter ability of separating John Simpson from myself.

30:23At the time, I could only think of the frigate, indefatigable, sailing free for the bay of Biscay, and operations of the coast of France. Of Sir Edward Pellew, with his reputation as a frigate captain. For the first time, I think, I was convinced that I had a future as a naval officer. In part 1 of The Hornblower story, you heard Nigel Antony as Lord Hornblower the narrator, with Nicholas Fry in the role of Horatio as a youth. Lieutenant Masters was played by Antony Wingate,

31:27Mr. Mitchipmann Simpson, Ralph Lorford, Captain Keene Charles Foster, Mr. Mitchipman Cleveland, Paul Hertzberg, Lieutenant Chalk, Ian Flintoff, and Mr. Mitchipman Coldwell Keith Ladd. The musical score is composed by Johnny Pierson. The Hornblower story is directed in Manchester by Trevor Hill, assisted by Christopher Hayden-Wim. Warning, the following Zippercruder radio spot you are about to hear is going to be filled with F-words. When you're hiring, we at Zippercruder know you can feel frustrated. For Lauren even. Like your efforts are futile, and you can spend a fortune trying to find fabulous people, only to get flooded with candidates who are just fine. Fortunately, Zippercruder figured out how to fix all that. And right now, you can try Zippercruder

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