Holding space

Lisa Sugarman is a Boston-based author, a columnist, a crisis counselor with The Trevor Project, a storyteller with the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI), a multiple survivor of suicide loss, and a mental health advocate. Her personal mission is to help end the stigma surrounding suicide and mental illness by normalizing conversations about mental health, suicide, loss, and grief. And by encouraging everyone to share their story. Because when we allow ourselves to be vulnerable by talking openly about our losses and fears and challenges, our walls come down and we begin to trust each other. And that’s where the real healing happens.

She lost her dad to suicide in the summer of 1978, two weeks after her 10th birthday, but  didn’t discover he’d taken his own life until she was 45 years old. So, she  actually lost her father twice in her lifetime—once to what she was told was a heart attack and again, 35 years later, when she learned that he’d died by suicide. Two very different types of losses and two radically different types of grief that she needed to learn to process. And she had to come to terms with the fact that her beautiful father was mentally ill and suffering in silence. Sadly, her dad was struggling at a time when mental illness was considered shameful and taboo, so couldn't be saved. But others can. And that’s why she is here.

What she has learned over the last decade of re-grieving and re-processing her dad's death is that losing someone we love to suicide is a unique and isolating kind of loss because:

• it can often be sudden and unexpected
• we don't always know the person’s “why” and that can be distressing
•  the stigma surrounding death by suicide can create feelings of shame
•  many survivors wonder if they could’ve prevented their loved one’s death
•  finding someone or imagining what happened to your person can be extremely traumatic

That’s why survivors of suicide loss and those suffering with mental illness need help and support and community. And this is the reason why she has turned her pain into purpose by working as a mental health advocate and as a crisis counselor with The Trevor Project, the country’s largest suicide and crisis support network for at-risk LGBTQ+ youth. Now, her purpose is to share content and spark conversations to help end the stigma of suicide and connect people with the support and hope they deserve. One conversation at a time. Enjoy this powerful conversation.

To find out more about Lisa, Click here

My website is www.andrewjobling.com.au