Anastasia Arauz: Co-Parenting Counseling With a High-Conflict Ex

Co-parenting counseling is the room where you talk about the things a judge will not: the sugar and red dye at the other house, the kid dropped at school late every day, the small daily calls that shape a child but never rise to a court's attention. Anastasia Arauz explains how to make that room work, even when your ex will not.

Anastasia Arauz is a therapist and coach for families going through divorce and separation. She spent years as a teacher and then a school counselor before her private practice and coaching work, and she has lived co-parenting herself. In this shorter, focused conversation, she and Lisa clear up what co-parenting counseling actually is, and how to get something out of it.

Anastasia starts with the fear, that sitting down means being held accountable, and the worry you will be pressured into your ex's position, and reframes both. Before you walk in, she says, get clear on your own boundaries and settle, in your gut, that you cannot control the other parent. A counselor's job is to stay objective and hold the room so both people feel safe enough to be heard; if yours is picking sides, that is the wrong counselor. Bringing the kids in can help, but only when it is genuinely safe for them.

From there it is practical. Interview a counselor about their actual experience before you commit, ask for structured sessions with set goals rather than an open-ended arrangement, and know that when you and your co-parent are truly stuck, the honest answer is sometimes back to court or letting it go. Being a good client means accepting the give-and-take and the things you cannot control, and remembering that this room is about the kids, not about winning. She closes with where to find her.

As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.

🎓 What you'll learn

• Why co-parenting counseling scares people, and what it actually is for
• What to know about yourself, your boundaries, and what you can't control before you walk in
• The difference between a parenting coordinator and a co-parenting counselor
• Why a good counselor stays objective, and how to tell when yours isn't
• How to choose and interview a counselor, like you're hiring for your family
• Why sessions should be structured with goals, not open-ended
• What to do when you and your co-parent are nowhere near the same page
• How to be a good client: give and take, and keep the focus on your kids

⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 Why co-parenting counseling scares people
3:00 Meet Anastasia Arauz, and what to know before you walk in
5:00 "Nothing will come of this": keeping the focus on the kids
6:00 Coordinator vs counselor, and staying objective
7:00 When it turns into screaming: holding the room
8:00 Should kids take part? And choosing a counselor
11:00 When you're nowhere near the same page
13:00 Being a good client: what you can't control
15:00 Hope, grace, and remembering who it's for

Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Anastasia Arauz's website: https://anastasiaarauz.com

About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.