Have a Problem? Be creative.

As parents, we all have lots going on. When our child has a problem, it's always easier to just solve the problem for him. After all, we are bigger, smarter, more experienced in the world. Just solve it, right? If expedience is your goal, then sure. But do you want expedience with your child? Or, do you want relationship and teachable moments. When Joey shows words and actions that he has an emotional fever, use your active listening to calm his feelings. Then, tell him, "You know, Joey, I have some thoughts about what you are going through. Do you want to hear them?"  If Joey declines your offer of help, don't force your solution. Let him choose. If he wants your help, help him think through all the options, evaluate them, and plan a solution. This is relationship-oriented, healthy, creative problem-solving, and a great teachable moment.