Glen Phillips + Deaf Frat Guy (Carolla Classics)

0:00Welcome to Growl Classic, I'm your host Superfan, Gio Boni. This is the Pond Piaz, we play the best moments highlights and fans electing clips from all 17 years of the Adam Corolla show. We'll be able to gain access to the ad free archives of the Adam Corolla show, as well as the Adam Doctor Drew show, and the newer podcast, Feed It Out. Make sure to check out at Adam Corolla's substack, AdamCorolla.substack.com. Sign up, subscribe, listen and free. If you'd like to request a clip, please email us at classicsat AdamCorolla.com, now on to the clips. For the first day we have Adam Corolla show 1116, Todd Phillips, Togwed Sprocket, in studio, performing live. The episode also features Dean Dining, Randy Gus, David Wilde, not in this portion. Allison Rosenbrien Bishop, Arden, this one's from 2013. Check it out. The

1:00head of the jail, where are we going? So far away, somebody told me, this is the place where we're going. We're going to be able to gain access to the ad free archives of the Adam Corolla show,

2:10where we're going. We're going to be able to gain access to the ad free archives of the Adam Corolla show, where are we going? So far away, somebody told me, this is the place where we're going to be going. So far away, somebody told me, this is the place where we're going. Back at my own stand, where the air makes you choke, and people don't know you.

3:17Trust is a joke, but don't even have pictures, just memories to call. Grow, grow sweeter each season, so we slowly grow. Wow, I love those some soda, let's rock it. Thank you. Randy, play rings on the drums while I do my stamps.com spot. There you go. Oh, this one. That's right, stamps. Oh, circles. Stamps.com. Bailing and shipping could be a challenge, not anymore, not. Hello, and welcome to Pluto Fo. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto TV. We're all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer long. Catch anchor man, the legend of Ron Burgundy.

4:18Fantastic. The Matrix trilogy. Welcome to the real world. Mean girls. Side up. I'm the key in the world. And so much more for showtime. Express nothing. They're free 24-7. That is so fast. On Pluto TV, stream now. Pay never. All right, those Adam and Colossal 11-16. Tell the wet sprocket Glenn Phillips in studio. Live. Awesome. Great performance. Come on next to me, Adam and Colossal 9-49. The very first one on one with Judd Apatow from 2012. I'm Judd one on one. Talking about everything. Really great conversation. Hope you guys enjoy it. Oh, oh, oh, oh Riley. Auto parts. Yeah, they're in the business. Keep your car in the road. You know that. They're off a friendly, helpful service. And the parts knowledge you need to maintain and repair your car. I got race cars. Race cars are funny.

5:19They're high performance, but they're simple. So you can work on a lot of the stuff yourself. And that's why I always go to a Riley. They've got thousands of parts and accessories in stock. Either in store or online. So you never have to worry if you're in a jam. Their team can test your battery for free in or out of the car. So if it needs to be replaced, they'll help you find the right one. And if you need windshield wipers replaced, the brake light fixed. Or a quick service. They've got you covered as well. I've come in there scrambling before and been astonished. And how friendly and helpful everyone is there. And they know their stuff. They even held the door for me last time. I said the one in Glendale. The professional parts people, the Riley Auto parts, are your one stop shop for all things. Auto do it yourself. And you can find what you need either in store or online. It's a Riley, right Dawson? Stop by O'Reilly Auto Parts today. Or visit them at oReillyauto.com slash Adam.

6:21That's oReillyauto.com slash Adam. Hello and welcome to Pluto Fo. If you know the name of the movie you'd like to see, just stream it for free on Pluto TV. We're all your bloodbusters favorites are landing all summer long. Catch anchor man, the legend of Ron Burgundy. Fantastic. The Matrix trilogy. Welcome to the real world. Mean Girls. Side up. It's all right, Tannin. I'm the King of the world. And so much more for showtime. Express nothing. They're free 24-7. That is so fast. On Pluto TV, stream now. Pay never. Yeah, get it on. Got to get it on. No choice but to get it on. Mandate. Get it on. And welcome to the show. Got a special one on one with the meat of genius. Judd Aftow. Good to see you, Judd. It's great to be here. Thank you for inviting us over to your place of work. Well, thank you for that intro. So I had one of the greatest experiences of my life watching this is 40 on a few different levels. One, I'm a massive Grand Parker fan.

7:23There you go. Huge Grand Parker fan, a nutty Grand Parker fan. That's a lie. And oh, I knew you were because there's no other way he would have played such a pivotal role in your film. So I'm a massive Grand Parker fan and I had Grand Parker on my podcast the night before. And I've been talking to our friend David Wilde from Rolling Stone and he keeps, he knows I'm a huge Grand Parker fan and he keeps saying, oh, Grand Parker's in this Judd Aftow thing and I'm in it too. And you're probably like me. Yeah. And you're probably one of the reasons your wife is busy you a lot, which is everything that someone announces to you immediately downgrade. Like, alright, so he's decided, first off, it's not a Judd Aftow film. He's probably lent his name to something. It's probably some student doing something who gives a shit about Grand Parker. David Wilde, come on, something like the camera loves you. This can't be good. Like this, this, okay.

8:24So I was immediately doing this rounding down, which I do with everything, including things I'm involved in. Yes. I'm going down all the time. Lower expectations always. The number one movie as we tape this is Wreck It Ralph for this weekend, which I'm in. And at the time I was doing it, I was like some bullshit, Disney something, it must be some parent company or some, some offshore company to Disney. This is probably going straight to DVD. I'd, I'd convinced myself this was biggest hit of your career. Yes. And although at the time it was nothing, I didn't know what it was. An annoyance. Called an annoyance, a distraction at best. So I said to Grand Parker, oh, well, I'm going to see this Judd Apatow film tomorrow that you're still in or did they cut you out of it? And he's so genuine and so, I don't know. He's so gracious. He was like, no, I think I'm still in it, you know, and I said, well, I didn't know the movie was really the A or the B story or the B story is really Grand Parker.

9:29As odd as that is. Yes, because I love those guys like you love those guys who are, you know, he's one of the great rock and roll artists of all time. He, he in a weird way, he never got gigantic like Elvis Costello did. All those guys kind of stole his thunder. He came out in the mid 70s and then suddenly the clash and punk hit and, and he never got giant. To me, listening to him for the last 30 years, I just always thought I love this guy. I love what he's saying. I think he's funny. I think he rocks. He's got a strange voice. He's weird like me. Yes. And I think it sucks that the world has not embraced him like he's Michael Jackson. Yes. And that's always like a funny fight between me and Leslie, which is how many people I embrace like that who never got giant that I forced her to listen to all the time as if it is Michael Jackson. Every ride home from every night out with my wife, because as I was watching the movie and I was just, I was just seeing myself and my wife in these roles.

10:39And then when I was in the middle of the night out with my wife, I was like, I'm going to go to dinner, go a couple glasses of wine, then a drive home, and then a me saying, let's see what the 80s satellite station is playing. And then it's a quick men without hats. And then I plug in my grand parker and I crank up a stupid faction or something as loud as I can. I go, but, but no one's ever heard this song. Nobody will ever hear this song. So we'll never get played on the rate of this. Nobody that won't crack the 80 station. It won't crack the first wave station. They will not play grand parker. And then my wife, I can win her over like she'll go this is I can't win. I never, never. I've never really won her over to any of us. We had this yesterday with the Billy Joel song pressure came on. And I'm just as soon as it's on like, I'm like, I'm about to have the greatest few minutes of my life. And she's like, I can't do it right now. I can't do the pressure. We got to change it. And then she has her old version of songs that she likes. And I tolerate them, but she's a channel changer. She knows what I'm just a channel.

11:43I have, I have the greatest, you know, my wife's a nutty, nutty Bruce Springsteen fan. So I have endless nights with Bruce backing up Graham. Yeah. That's the bridge. That's our bridge song. So the movie I was saying on my podcast, speaking of your wife, who starred in the movie, I think there could be some Oscar buzz here. I really do. And I know it sounds like so much smoke being blown up, Judd Apptow's asked, but I really do mean it. I said her performance had a million layers to it. She, it wasn't just a comedic performance. I mean, and this isn't just a comedy. It's two hours and 19 minutes of 13 minutes. Okay. I said, I'm not going to start with a good man. I say half hour shorter than the Hobbit. That's how I describe it. Right. It's a half hour shorter than the Hobbit of a sort of emotional roller coaster.

12:47And Leslie, your wife who starred in the film, had great comedic moments and great moments of sorrow and great moments to sort of mix the two together. And, you know, there was laughing. There was crying. And I just thought as I walked out of the theater, I said, this could be an Oscar. And I asked her, not. Do you think that way? Well, how I was going is, you know, when you're in the world of comedy, you don't think about awards that much because for some reason, people seem to value pain and anguish and seriousness more than a rainbow of emotions in. Right. And in a comedy, I think what she does there is just so difficult. And I mean, to go that deep into yourself to reveal that much and be that vulnerable both in a comedic way and a dramatic way is, it's almost impossible. It really took a lot of courage for it to go that far. And yes, people tend to appreciate people who are in costume dress or doing accents. And that kind of emotional realism is always appreciated as much as it should be.

13:55I certainly think she deserves the highest recognition. And I feel bad putting her through it. I mean, you know, the whole movie is a little bit of a fun house mirror of our lives, things we're observing, things we're making up. And it was both a joy and really painful to make the movie. Well, so many parts of the movie seemed like they were just torn from the pages of your life and your home life and your personal life. I mean, a lot of stuff seemed like we couldn't write that. Or you could write it, but you couldn't make it up. It had to come from somewhere, at least have some some kernels of truth in there somewhere. And so the then the film becomes pretty cathartic for herself. And for you. And then you're having to direct your wife, which seems almost insane to me because I can't imagine. I mean, I can't have my wife drive the car when I'm in it, unless I'm completely loaded, which is only half the time.

15:00I don't really have a problem with booze, but I mean, like an argument will break out. I try to write a book. And I said, listen, you're going to type. And I'm going to dictate. And we got about a paragraph in and fist started flying and feathers and hair and nails. And I said, fuck it. I'm getting a guy in here to write this because this is never going to work. That's yeah. Now that's that's how it works with us. We just keep going. It's because you know, when you make movies like this, they're a little bit like, you know, it's like a novel where a lot of it is truthful. A lot of it is made up to just make it work. But you are emotionally accurate as to the basic positions that everybody has. So Leslie will not barge into the bathroom if I'm spending too much time on my phone trying to escape everybody in the world. Right. So the movies a little bit like, here's what I think would happen if she took the next step. And we had a huge fight while I'm on the toilet, which on one level is funny, but also a real fight about like, why are you running away?

16:02Why do you need a break from us? Right. And so it's both comedic and sad at the same time. And for people don't know the story. This is 40 is the story of Paul Rudd's character and Leslie's character who from the 40 year old virgin. Knocked up. Knocked up. Oh, man, let me tell you my 40 year old virgin story from knocked up. And it's kind of interesting because it's got a little element of, hey, we're doing, we're the Jefferson's and we're going to spin this one off. And it's what happens is following now that couple, which I thought was really interesting and and the whole Grand Parker comes in when Paul Rudd quits his gig over at Sony decides to start up his own label and doing that same thing where you're going, but this guy so good. Why don't people know about this? They should be waiting in line to get his own and all that and Parker was was great in it. And I'll get to more Parker asking in a second. The 40 year old virgin story is funny because I've in right man, who's not the nicest guy in the world.

17:16He's not an asshole, but he is one of these guys. He's got a lot of money. Time is precious. And when he gives you notes on a script, you should implement them. Otherwise, he's pissed off that he took the time to give you the notes and then read it and didn't see any of his notes and blah, blah, blah. So at a certain point, about 10, 12 years ago in the middle of the man show, Ivan right man got hold of me and Jimmy and said, we, we should do a movie with you two like, I don't know, like road movie with the two of you like, cross being hope and whatever. And we said, OK. So he said, go come up with some ideas and come back and see what you think. And I said, OK. And Jimmy and I thought about it. And then we thought, you know, it would be funny. It'd be funny. If Jimmy, you were like a 33 year old virgin. You had the number wrong. I know. I know. You're like that. You're like 33 year old virgin. And I was your buddy. And I was going to get you laid. And we went back and pitched it to right man and right man, like someone's got to make a movie about my life where I pitch everyone their fucking ideas five years in advance. And he goes, no, no, he goes, nobody's going to buy a 33 year old virgin. And we're like, well, we think it's funny. And he said, no, no, no, move on. Next idea.

18:35So we came up with the next idea. And I had that a few times. I went out with the with the idea and had a few studios turn it down. Right. So even after, you know, I pitched it after anchor man thinking, oh, now people will kind of be up for our kind of comedy and these actors and Correll was so funny and anchor man sure. It seemed like a no brainer. I had multiple people look at me like they had no idea what I was talking about. What, what is that? And why? And I know you'll never in the realm of comedy at least you're just you're just never trusted. So you just have to get enough juice to sort of be autonomous. And yeah, no one believes in their own sense of humor. So especially in comedy, they like hiring people who have succeeded because at least they could tell their bosses. Well, he succeeded on the last one. But if you haven't had a big hit, it's really hard to bring innovative ideas to people. You have autonomy now because I'm sure because when I walked out of the theater. And I said, well, that was a romcom essentially. I don't mean that in a degrading way. But it was a romantic comedy. And it was over two hours.

19:50If he had some guy, if he had a bunch of suits hovering around, they'd make sure it was under two hours. So he must have autonomy. That's what I thought like over the cut over the final cut over the product. Well, I have a good. I have a very good relationship with the studio, but would they be happier if it was an hour and 42 minutes? Yes. And do we have those conversations? We do. But I do think that there is a, you know, a moment where you start shortening a movie where it gets worse because you lose a lot of the characters and the colors and details that you need. So I like that range of just over two hours for movies and a lot of my favorite movies, like Terms of Endearment or at that length. Some people they just want to get out of the theater as soon as they get in. They want a 90 minute movie. But if I like a, if I like a movie, I'm not in a big rush to leave. That's my general theory. I feel like when a movie is a little longer, you're saying these people are worth your time. Right. And if a movie is awful in long, it is a painful experience. That's true. Yeah. I feel sometimes like when movies are short, it's a little bit of an apology. Like it's a little bit of, well, we didn't have that much to tell you or we didn't have.

21:04I've friends who have movies that they're not working and they're like, yeah, but we got it down at 88 minutes. I've had friends tell me that, you know, they're having the issue with. It's now too short. It's almost not even a full movie and they just keep cutting to make it a, at least a pleasant brief experience. No, no executive ever got fired for saying, paste it up. That's true. And when, when in a, in a place where nobody has a sense of humor. So nobody really has anything they can add to the conversation or to the product. They always just say, paste it up. And that's about it. It just be like, if you were a personal trainer who had no experience and didn't know what to do with a person, but always said, you should make your cock wider and just left the room. Exactly. No one would ever fire you. I mean, you can't argue with that. Hard to accomplish. It's hard to accomplish. But yet you wouldn't go, you're wrong. Get back here. You're totally wrong about girls. No idea what you speak of. You just go, well, all right.

22:08But how do you do it? And then they go, well, that's up to you. Yes. But I, but you should paste it up and why in your cock. And that's, that's executive. Just go, paste it up. That's what I want. Well, it's a, you know, it's a tricky environment right now because people go to watch movies at home. They have the Netflix. Their TVs look a big by TV is. 70, 60, 70. That's it. That's it. That's at least. Yeah. It's like 70, that'd be 80. So I've got a big TV there. And so why would you leave your house? So we're all trying to figure out what gets you to leave your house and pay way too much money for parking and $11 for one popcorn. And I'm hoping with this is 40 you leave your house because it's an original movie and it's a good movie. But you do really need some sort of hook. And for most people, it's just that it kicks ass or special effects or some visual thing that you can't experience on your iPad. You know, this world of human characters and having an emotional experience in the theater with other people is becoming a little more rare. But I'm still still going for it. I'm still trying.

23:09I love the well for me. I just know myself and I know that if I sit down and try to experience a movie, especially one that's over two hours, soup to nuts, it's not going to happen in my house. At a certain point, I'm going to announce I've got to take a piss. I've got to get a drink. I've got to get something to eat. I mean, as long as there's that pause button that's just winking at me. Come on, friend. Come on. We're good buddies. I talked to your thumb. He misses me. Come on. Pause. You're going to miss anything. It's pausing. I'm okay with that, by the way. I know my name is days to watch the movies. I actually, when funny people came out and it was long, I said, you know, people will enjoy this more at home because they can go take a piss. I found, but I find it takes away from my sort of overall experience. It's appearing into it. Yes. Yes. The fact that the phones ringing down the hall. I'm going to talk about phones. I'm saying, peeing. You got to shut your phone.

24:11Yeah, no, I mean, I can't. My thing is, is I'm in my environment. I am X amount of paces away from my refrigerator, my computer, my whatever. And I can hear my home phone ringing down the hall. And it pulls me, pulls me out of it. So I like to go see it. I like funny people, by the way, quite a bit. And I thought it, I don't know if it was underrated or didn't get its due. I'm not, I'm not sure exactly how to describe that film. Well, the reviews were good for the most part. Some were mean. Everyone saw some, but I think that, you know, a movie like that, it was expensive because I wanted to show what a rich guy's life is like. So if you want to say, okay, we're going to make a movie about a rich guy and how, when he gets sick, he's in the same position as everybody else. You do need to shoot in some crazy $30 million house, which is expensive. So it was an expensive movie. And it, you know, it's a hard movie because there's not that much to root for. You're not rooting for Adam to get Leslie Mann to leave her family and be with him. You kind of feel bad that you're realizing that he's so damaged that he can't see how shallow he is. Right. But we know those guys. And I wanted to, you know, spend some time exploring the darkest side of

25:27friends from our comedy world that no matter how much they get, they're still unhappy and to show how difficult it is to be friends with them. And, and a little ray of light that he's beginning to see that he should be a better person. But I liked exploring that. I thought a lot about people, you know, like danger field who I would see at the improv. And he would go on at one in the morning and a bathrobe. And he would go, he'd say to the crowd, yeah. Life makes perfect sense. And then you come. And, and he would go on these really dark rants. He would look at women in the crowd and go, oh, yeah, yeah, baby. Yeah, baby. You'd change my life. You'd change my life. You'd make it all work. And it was so dark. And I, I wanted to talk about, yeah, about that. That fame doesn't make you happy at all. If anything, it's, you're the suddenly just face with all the things that are really wrong with you because you can't still be chasing something in addition to that. You're distracting yourself. Okay, you've, you've won. Now you're just stuck with this asshole that you are.

26:32Well, not only that, I know you're talking about me, not only that, but when you're poor, it's bigger than that, or I'll do a good, yes, ending with that, which is, when you're poor, you feel like the reason you're unhappy 60 to 70% of the times, because you don't have money. That's true. And you, it's a pretty easy math to do. You go fucking eating it, shakies again. I'm bummed out like if I could just afford something, you know, the sizzler, I'd be happy. Or if I could get myself into a car with some air conditioning or man, if I could just get my own house or whatever, imagine the ladies I could get if I drove this car and had this kind of money and blah, blah, blah. So, and then you turn on the TV and every single image is about money and a vacation and a big screen. TV and a sports car and all that kind of stuff. So if you don't have money in our society and you're unhappy, it's pretty easy to draw straight line to just if I had money, I would be happy.

27:38And so the celebrity and the famous is part of it, but the fact that you have money and you realize it doesn't really make a difference in the happiness department. That's a bitter pill. And I don't know how poor you've been in your life and I'm not sure how to grow up. Well, you know, both my parents went bankrupt at some point when I was a kid and I, you know, I got into USC film school and I had to drop out after you're in a half because no one could pay for it. And actually the reason why I'm a writer is because I was doing stand up and I needed to pay my rent and I realized that none of these comics would write for other comics because they wanted to be stars so they wouldn't want to give away any good jokes. But I had to pay my rent. So I started writing jokes to make money and then that just took off, but it was all because I had no money. Right. And do you feel like you can change fundamentally who you are or who you were or, you know, this sort of nature, nurture argument.

28:41And then at a certain point, nurture yourself, not your parents nurturing you, but how different can you be and is there time to change and how different do you feel? I am shocked that I feel exactly the same way I felt when I was 13 years old and I can't shake it. And it's, it's, you know, I really feel like you're wired in certain years of your life to be insecure or nervous, you know, just to react to certain way in certain situations. And I have spent my whole life reading so much self-help going to so much therapy, but you know, if I turned to walk out that door and you tapped me on my shoulder, I probably would flinch. Right. More than was appropriate for knowing who's in the room. Sure. And my level of insecurity does not change regardless of how well things are going. And I, and how do you balance that against reality? I mean, you know, you're very successful. You know, you've made movies that have gross millions of millions of dollars that this next one's probably.

29:48I mean, like, honestly, as, as somebody who's seen a lot of movies and understands comedy well, this was just a very well crafted piece of work. And it, it just, there's some movies that make you laugh where you sort of realize, ah, you maybe you shouldn't even be laughing, but you're laughing anyway. And then there's some movies where you go, geez, that movie was funny, but for some reason I wasn't laughing. And there, there's sort of all, you know, there's a part of you that watches a movie like a movie goer. And then there's a party that watches a movie like a professional. Like this is my industry. I have not that I mean, this my industry. This is the industry I could be and if I was in my industry, but this is this falls under the umbrella of comedy. And I'm going to watch this comedy as a viewer. And then also as somebody does comedy for a living and sort of combine those two thoughts and share that experience.

30:51And the movie was just had a bunch of well, obviously, he had cramparker in it. So my pussy was moist going into it as soon as Paul Rudd explained that he had two albums on the Rolling Stones top 100 of all time. I almost like stood up what he got damn right. He does. But I just thought it was incredibly acted and very well directed and but written in a way that was I like something that's a little bit substantial. Like I love I love like crimes and misdemeanors because I said best. Yeah, because laughs and jokes are great and it's hard hard to achieve. But if you can work in a message and you can work in some some sprinkle some salt in with that sugar every once in a while. Like then you've really made a product. This is just a comment. I mean, that's the I mean, that's for me is the trick when I'm making movies. I try to think of a premise that people want to go to. I try to make it funny enough that people really like the movie. And then it's how much of that can I slip in how much of my deepest thoughts and things I'm struggling with.

32:06Can I put in the movie while keeping it entertaining and it's like you were saying about nature versus nurture a lot of the movie is also about how do you how do you shake who you are Paul Rudd you know his dad is Albert Brooks in the movie and when you have a dad like Albert Brooks. Brooks is character who's kind of overbearing and needy it makes you the kind of guy that hides in the bathroom with your iPad right and you know it less these father in the movies played by John Lithgow who kind of abandoned her to start a new family when she was a kid and that makes you the kind of person who's desperately trying to get your husband out of the bathroom to right pay more attention to you and even though those wounds happen 30 years ago. It becomes your imprint for your behavior and so a lot of the movie is also about these projections we put on other people and it's what makes relationships so difficult is you're not just fighting with with your wife. You're actually fighting with like your whole history of how you. Your mother how you perceive women all your experiences and that's why people go at each other so hard because they don't realize that's what they're doing yeah that's where all the energy comes from I mean we've all seen it.

33:17I mean when I used to be a carpenter I'd go to people's houses and I'd be talking to some woman about base you versus quarter round and she like start crying and throw our hands up and go I can't believe you screwed up the base and I would say to them it's more than one woman in her house I don't know you I don't know where this is coming from obviously I represented males and probably her father and God knows what the hell went on with him but these tears from we've known each other all 45 minutes and you're breaking down into a heap seems like a lot for the relate constructions very stressful very superficial relationship we're having. Yeah I would go into everyone's house it was always weird because you're in their house so it was sort of intimate like you're working in the bedroom and stuff like that you always wonder if like a worker is going to sexually attack you yeah so there's always that feeling like I don't know this guy oh yeah is alone in my house yeah and and left alone and it was funny every single it was always universal the the men were scared to make a decision without the woman's consent so if the man was there and I said well we're just going to go ahead and go with the dark wall not instead of the cherry oh because there I he did I don't know wait till Sharon comes home

34:40because you don't want to take shit about that now I wouldn't pick a knob without Leslie I wouldn't pick anything I mean if someone says what about this carpet I'm like you have to talk to Leslie I the trouble I'll get into right now for picking the wrong carpet it's not worth it you gotta pick your battle I would I would live in anything with any color just to not have those fights see I'm exactly the opposite which is and I don't I don't know I bought a house I bought our house without discussing it with my wife that's that's bold yeah that's just bold and she brings that up a lot I know how here's my question for you because I'm your relationship is confusing me in several ways one is how is it possible that you could buy the house and have her not kill the deal and also the fact that she ultimately will enjoy the grand parker song and that get more upset make you shut it off well the grand parker stuff again I'm preaching to the parker choir here but when you listen when I force her but she's not mad you're forcing her that's why it ends right there for me and we just listen to the up escalator straight on through she likes those songs like they're just good songs it's hard to argue with a lot of those songs it's not like you know my buddy who's sitting in front of you trying to get me into fish you know that's a hard sell like look I've not I've not eaten any space cakes and you're not

36:10suck of my dick and I'm not staring at a kaleidoscope it's fucking high noon and we're in a car this is a tough sell the sun's 80 minutes long and it's not gonna work like but the parker stuff is short it's poppy it's got good hooks to it and they've never heard it before so you're a good woman you're married to a good open-minded woman who says I will give your gr. I got her on to John Hyatt so I started good I started I don't know if I can pull that off a little bit I got her I got her on to John Hyatt John Hyatt and then I moved her I'm where it's high it was a what you call stepping stone artists you know that's like the weed now I got her on the smack I'm gonna get her mainlining the parker any day now tie off baby now I enjoyed your movie last night oh you did this doesn't have to be just talking about my movie wow so you so you sent over your movie and you know people send over movies and you say okay I'm gonna put this in you don't know the quality level you're gonna get it when people slip you their movie and so I'm like okay I'm gonna I'm gonna show Adam respect I'm gonna I'm gonna watch this I put it in about seven o'clock last night I'm sitting with my wife Leslie and my daughter Iris we let her watch our rated things sure and unless it goes violent

37:28sure and and I think I bet you I get 10 minutes out of Leslie before she wants 60 minutes right and we watched the whole thing we could not have had a better time why the night before I made her watch her like an art film that people think is is is a great great art film and then which she didn't care for a thought alive it was false and she said there's not one false beat in in the hammer there's not one false moment and we were laughing our asses off and the whole time we're like this movie is great how come I don't see this movie like that it's on like HBO every five minutes thank you a couple things I have a theory on and again that praise coming from from someone like yourself is for me Leslie she was laughing her ass off we we really did have kind of a great time and with my with my daughter and also the use of construction detail as comedy really was making us laugh are the Jane Lynch scene was was super funny all the like the scenes at work were really funny but um

38:34but Leslie's tough I would not be mentioning her her name if if she gave if she gave it to eight minutes because most people don't get past eight minutes right um all I'll answer all those questions and thank you I have a theory that I'd like to float yeah first which is yes people I send the movie to people especially people like yourself and you know the batting average on them seeing it is usually very low because people are busy but I have a theory and I I'm sort of a student of psychology and the theory goes that most products are bad most DVDs at people you know I was on K Rock long enough and had enough people hand me their band tapes and CDs and stuff like that now as they're handing them to me and they're explaining their sort of a combination of Pearl Jam and up with people and I'm already thinking of myself okay this is going to throw it into the garbage I will show you the respect of not throwing this in garbage in front of you but this is never

39:39going to make it into my CD player but I wish my hand was a shredder so it'd be nice or cooler my mouth because I'd be impressive or my ass actually would be the ultimate shredder I will listen to those things sometimes well obviously watch my movie yeah so I yeah I think there's always a chance that uh now I'm not an enormous amount of stuff but but I have made the mistake of not looking at things that people said oh you should look at that I didn't someone gave me foot fist away the Danny McDonough I Jody Hill movie sure and I had it sitting on my desk for six months I did not bother to look at it and then Adam McKay saw it and he him and Wilphell released it under their their banner and I just waited too long and ever since then I try to look at as much of it as I can tiny furniture the Lena Dunham movie someone said hey you should see that I watch it that night I'm like I am not going to screw up again I did it foot fist away and and and and your movie as well where I thought well this is this is great I really really good I I thank you and I I think psychologically most people friends

40:45included assume it's going to suck yeah because they do the math like look it's hard enough to make a comedy and it's hard enough for people who make comedy for the professionals to make comedies you don't do this how you gonna do this yeah and so there's a certain amount of healthy skepticism and it's based in reality which is every single time someone hands me one of these things nine out of 10 of them suck so instead of seeing it and having to lie to you yeah and say hey it was cute that says it's pretty good there Jane links was fine you cannot see it and thus saved protect yourself from having to lie because it's much easier to say you know what I'd sorry I just couldn't get to it then lie for most people emotionally I'm trying to be what I would have done if I hated it because I guess I'm taking that risk by watching it that if I hate it the next day I could say I didn't see it or would I just look you in the eye and tell you what was wrong with it which is probably what I would have done really I think I probably would have told you what was wrong with it just

41:47because as a professional to show you that respect and then maybe it would be helpful to hear someone not bullshit you I think I might have told you based well I guess it depends on how bad it is because some things are so bad you feel like people are insane you literally feel like oh this person is literally lost they're mine and then some things are too bad because they're like too dirty or like their pitches wrong like it's really gross what was I thought interesting about the movie was that the tone was just right on the money there was just a you know it was really funny but it was realistic and it was really completely tuned into your comic sensibility in a way that was really surprising and surprising that there's not more like that I instantly feel like white hasn't he made another movie or done something else to follow this up since it's so clearly worked so well even if it's just a demonstrate to somebody else that you know what you're doing because I don't I don't get to make movies because there's a list and you're on it of people

42:55that get to make movies and then there's everybody else who paid for it well we paid for it but we have to try to you know it's one of these things where people say to me all the time hey when are you gonna make another movie and I go well soon as I find another million bucks laying around and I get another year off I'll make another movie except for I don't know when I'm gonna get a year off and I don't know when it's like a Howard Stern yeah it's he made one really good movie and you think well now we'll make another movie but he's just basically too tired well that movie was shot was funny because there's never a good time to make an independent movie meaning the good time is when you're out of work and you're 21 and you're gonna max out someone's credit card but not when you're working and and I was working full time doing morning radio and other jobs and I was just getting up at five every morning and doing four hours of morning radio and so on and so forth and I had a two week break like a Christmas break and I knew the

44:00shoot would be about four weeks or 23 days or 22 days or something like that so I said look we can shoot the first two well I have two weeks to shoot I have twins who just came home from the hospital when we started this another one of those one of those life things but I said there's I said to my agent who was trying to talk me out of it the whole time because like I ain't not gonna make any money and and again house is gonna work out who wants to see you do this and there's there's a lot of like you get punished in this in this town for being good at one thing if you're want to try to do something else you know they go well you're a radio guy radio guys get punished the money you can't make a country album that's right Jesus you read my mind oh the radio guys are like low pretty low on the food chain on the comedy food chain and when you define yourself as a radio guy I don't but no one's gonna let me make a movie this really how it worked and I realized that so

45:02I was like we're we're gonna have to make the we're out to make my own movie because no one's gonna let me make no one's gonna have me star in their movie it's a lot of like confusion you want to do what what makes you a lot of like why can you act then we say that like what what makes you think you can act I'm like you think Rob Schneider's a great Desvian you know I mean you don't have to act that's the copy guy come on yeah you just got to act it's a little surprising that you're acting is good that is what they went the movie start you're like oh wow he can act and then you do have a beat where you're like why can he act thank you no that's look in a very positive way like wow he's very likable and he can act and and he's very comfortable with himself and and it's a very like a pleasant surprise but I guess it is a surprise only because it was there something else you had acted in before that no I wasn't it wasn't I didn't have a resume of doing like shitty yeah I mean I did some telenevella's in the 80s we hardly talk about those no that's

46:07the point it's how can you be this morning show or this late night radio show or whatever personality and then do this you can't do this or that you know if somebody said to me what do you think Paul Rudd would be is a morning radio show guy I'd be probably suck and then they'd go wine I'd go because he's good at that other thing yeah that acting thing and they'd go yeah but why couldn't he do a morning show I'd go please well like I hosted America's top 41s I filled in for Ryan Seacrest and I don't know why he asked me to do it but he did and I spent the whole morning just making fun viciously of every single artist really making fun of their names and everything about their music I and then no one ever mentioned it to me ever I think quietly someone probably said what how did this happen this was a terrible terrible mistake yeah but I think what the real lesson of the hammer is is that and it relates to like this is 40 is there's a kind of a madness to making

47:09things you know when we made this is 40 it's kind of a reckless act because my family's in it I'm trying to say something really personal but I'm also trying to be universal to everybody else and and it really could go wrong in a thousand ways that are humiliating and and could cost people a lot of money but you have to kind of just be so passionate that you have to make it you have to just do it and it's like the follow up to the hammer you know when you have an experience or you make something in your proud of it regardless of distribution issues or people wanting to give you money for the next one the way people succeed is you go fuck it I'm making another one I don't give a fuck I make the next one for a underground with the new cannon camera and if that's where someone's passion is they have to do it lean a Dunham's movie costs 45 grand and and that's what's happening in film which is the good stuff is cheap a lot of the good stuff is you know going under seven million or five million sometimes it's like the next Noah Bombak movie I heard because half a million dollars right and so that's that's how good things are gonna get made and it's

48:12gonna be hard to make expensive dramas or right comedies but that's the future you can't I mean obviously it's so funny because everything if you just sit back and look at it even and stuff like starting a family it all sounds insane yes like how's this gonna work this is never gonna work so twins it doesn't work at all it's just gonna be a disaster and you know and I'm sure that you have that this momentum like you get a personal momentum and it's it can be a positive or it can be a negative I mean there's there's you you know that once you start doing things it's easier to do the next thing you become a kind of Richard Branson type or something where like you go fuck and I'm buying an airline and everyone's got to go are you fucking nuts you're buying an airline yeah why not you know and then but once you've bought an airline and got

49:13that running is there any idea that Richard Branson can float where somebody in the room goes no boss you're high that's never gonna work I'm gonna start a record label and sign Janet Jackson for 40 million dollars right right right I was by the way picturing you filling in for C. crest with coming in at number 18 someone else who isn't Grand Parker her name is Kee Sher Jay low or something but anyway she's not Grand Parker so you get a momentum where you go fuck it and they all sort of build on each other and you go I can I can do the next one because I did the last one and do you know I was thinking about this on the way in and that the scary part about making a movie is it's this thing of there's always this fear that you get halfway into it and you look around and you go maybe it makes no sense at all maybe this wasn't the finest idea

50:14do you have that when something's good like I don't know something something like 40-year-old virgin when you're having all those great scenes just all those hilarious scenes was there part of you that you got into that and looked around halfway at some point when Jesus Christ is gonna be awesome there is I mean I I try to edit the scenes as I go and make the editors like show me cuts of everything every day so I can get a feel for if it's working but you are always terrified that you're completely wrong so when we were making the 40-year-old virgin you know we were coming off of Anchorman and Carell was so funny on the set I've never seen anything like he could just riff in that character all day long and it was clear to me oh this is like the funniest guy effort this guy is so on his game it's ridiculous and then a week before shooting started there was a show that he was a supporting actor on it was a part it was a series they made six of and they were just burning it off and he had a terrible part on a terrible show and I just happened

51:18to see it like three or four days before shooting started and I thought well it's okay it's just the bad show and it really scared me to my core that the movie was gonna be bad because I thought oh look how wrong things can go and it's something that's so wrong look how Steve doesn't work at all like you wouldn't know he's like one of the great comic geniuses from this and it scared me in an anchor band he played such a crazy character yeah now you're asking him to play a straight character essentially yeah I wanted him to play it subtle I wanted it to be real it wasn't like a loud of noxious virgin right in fact they shut the movie down after three days the studio shut it down because they didn't get what we were doing they thought really much like an independent movie they said that Steve looked like a serial killer like Jeffrey Dahmer and his and his members only jacket and I think they just also didn't know if this subtle approach the performance was working and that'll scare you do when people think it's so unfunny that they put the plug and pulling the plug costs like a half a million dollars it's not right and that happens on every movie

52:23now that you get the plug pulled but there is a moment right in the middle where you do think does this make any sense I always think about the end like does the end work like will you feel like you've been through something then it's earned or is it just gonna peter out right that's why I wish you'd a lot of footage for the end because you know it's hard to get at him you know there's only so many ends to movies either it everything works out right everything kind of works out everything doesn't work out but they learned a lesson or it's just like a Cohen brothers life is fucking awful and that's it right and you're always hitting one of those categories and trying to do it in a way people haven't seen a billion times like well the catch 22 of the ending is especially taken from a guy made a sports movie because we make a sports movie you get one and a half options on your endings like does this guy win or is that guy win and if you go well if this if it all works out then everyone saw it coming and that was so easy there's a great original

53:25I don't want to give it away because I think that I am promoting this movie it's probably on Amazon and so I'm not going to give away the ending but that you know we had that with Tal digger nights is well does uh Ricky Bobby just win the race and then at some point someone realized oh maybe maybe he doesn't you know uh and there's another way to go about it and that's the hardest part about all these movies is is that little grace note at the end that you land on you my favorite one is the end of terms of endearing because it ends the funeral and right to every winger's dead I mean it should be the saddest ending ever but it works because Jack Nicholson shows her kids his pool and he's like you want to see my pool and suddenly there's hope yeah I love uh I don't know why I was thinking about uh parenthood the other day yeah and I was trying to picture the movie where it ends and maybe I was thinking about your movie but where it ends with the baby and you think the baby is the baby of the daughter but it's the baby of the of the mom yeah as I recall yeah that's

54:30it does a great it's a great movie and definitely we thought about parenthood when we were making this it it has very similar notes of that I felt notes as one of my favorite movies in terms of lots of comedy lots of truth lots of layers lots of laughs coming off of tension you know where there's a couple of beats where the movie is comfortable enough in its own skin to go I don't have to dance until jokes I can we can have a serious moment or real moment here and then the comedy is gonna pay off that much more when we have just a couple of like we're we're secure enough with our product that we can actually just be interesting for a moment and not be funny yeah and and you feel when you watch it that uh it really is personal to Lowell Gans and Bob Lumin del that that was their moment where they were on top of the world they could do almost anything they wanted to do with Ron Howard and they made something really personal that was real

55:32and funny and that's how I felt like oh I'm allowed to do this now I probably won't be allowed to do this for long I can slip this in and with a lot of freedom and to see what what happens well what is so then as I was watching I was thinking I bet Judd I mean so Judd has a serious side and and then the comedy could be born out of some of the some of the pain or neuroses or whatever but then I thought you know Woody Allen's done it and other guys have done it Bill Murray the different degrees of success but I bet Judd has it's just a very straight movie in him or that he's been thinking about or wanting to do I mean without it with with with there's something that would not be called a comedy uh I guess I you know I just think everything in life is funny so it's hard for me to go into full drama mode because I think that our whole existence is ridiculous

56:36what we're up against is ridiculous what we're in denial of is ridiculous and so it's all ultimately comedic to me right so when I see any movie that doesn't have any humor I think there's something wrong with those people because it's just even at its worst it's comic right to me but uh it's funny because we were talking about a review that came in for this is 40 which is a positive review but if you tell that person would rather there be less humor like if the what criticism was that it was that it was so funny that they wanted to they wanted a little more settled down dramatic moments in it and that is the dance of being funny as once you're funny you have to set a certain pace and rhythm for how funny you're gonna be for an entire movie and it is fun to be less funny sometimes I enjoyed that and funny people you know the dramatic scenes where I love it is I'm an executive producer on Lena Dunham show girls yeah where there is no audience so we can do big scenes or full episodes that are not funny at all right and it's fine

57:37you can do that on TV now on shows like madman where they're you know it's all kind of funny but their dramas that's the great space to do that your your daughters in the movie were unbelievably good like uh like as I was watching I was sort of just thinking you know this is a blessing and a curse like as a dad you know it's sort of like you don't want your daughter to be a pig but you don't want her to be Cheryl Ladd either because you're gonna have a bunch of dudes calling up at all hours and it's like you'd like them to be like uh you know attractive minus the huge rack and the ass that doesn't stop you know like you want them you know what I'm saying I have these talks do you have these talks yeah like cute I say to my wife is this asking to stop one is this ass ever gonna we want it too so I I your your daughters are so uh modern iris are

58:39are so compelling and so good in this movie and then of course you have your wife as well like uh I don't know what you do like I mean I do what happens when they just announce look I want to be I want to be emancipated I want to be a scene I don't want to be like Drew Barrymore I'm dropping out of school I'm I'm I'm hiring you know an attorney and I'm moving I'm moving on like can you do you want that for them do you want to rain them in and go look this is a special occasion daddy directs you in a movie that he wrote but you're not going out and starring in everything that comes out that's that's uh the debate uh that we have in the house all the time uh which is when I think of a movie and and want the kids to be in the movie you know it's partially because I don't want to meet other people's kids and I know it'll be so much better it's their parents it's not the kids let's be honest sometimes the kids uh but um but um but I know that if if my kids uh Leslie's

59:46kids are in the movie we're gonna get a dynamic that you've never seen in a movie before we're like a level of truth of how this family operates and that was exciting to me I didn't think a lot about if they were great what I thought was if they are awful this is just a worldwide humiliation for my family if my kids are terrible well people are gonna look at you as a narcissistic asshole because they're gonna be like look at this guy I wouldn't even hire professionals but his own family in there well I wish I wouldn't mind I wouldn't mind that I just would be more worried about about them but so I tried really hard to make them you know to support them so they could do a good job and they are really hilarious they've been watching us do this for a long time and they're good actresses but they're really interesting people so I was proud of that and proud to show that off where we get in trouble is well what if someone you know wants mod to be in a horror movie that shoots in uh Shreveport Louisiana for four months am I gonna go uh right be a staged

1:00:46dad and sit on the set and you know and watch that and uh that's not really what the purpose of this was uh so our theory is this is it this was just a one time thing now where that breaks down as my daughter suddenly getting uh offered something yeah that we're jealous of what my daughter Anderson called mod what do we do uh so we don't know what's gonna happen though but you know it's funny she's got like 90,000 Twitter followers mom yeah and she's really interesting and funny and she writes for all these internet sites like hello giggles so I figure if I could teach her to to do a lot of things you know where she can she can act but she also can write and uh you know she likes to sing and Broadway type stuff then maybe you know she'll find something that she likes to do uh but you don't want them needy for a claim or needy for approval like life isn't good unless I'm in a movie that's the part that uh we don't want uh we want this to be somewhat of

1:01:49an aberration but also something that says to her well you have talent work hard maybe you'll be able to do something right and you as a former performer don't pop up in this movie I don't believe um so you're sort of leading by example which is uh daddy used to slay audiences I did not slay audiences that was not very good had sammies by the shore right but uh daddy slid gracefully behind the camera that's right because the audience requested that other muscle to flex yeah so uh and then what about you doing acting and some of these things you know I did a uh I the only time I ever did is I did a cameo in funny people which I cut out which was which was a funny scene where Adam was uh shooting a a sequel to a hot dog eating competition movie and I was the director and I was trying to convince him to eat five hot dogs in one take because it was a big crane shot and I there were no

1:02:52edits and I need to see him eat five hot dogs in this one shot and then it was Adam just going no not gonna happen not gonna happen and then I say what if we do one take and he's like nah not gonna happen what if I do it in two pieces and it was just me convincing him to eat five hot dogs and it was pretty funny but the movie was long and I removed it but my stiffness was what was interesting about it because I've never been a a good actor you know you know it's a good ploy I would recommend for you and all your future endeavors you just go talk to your um ad and your you know the camera guys and everything and go uh look don't roll on this one like don't burn any film or digital or whatever but put one scene for you in every you know whatever you're playing the UPS guy you're playing the director playing whatever and then you cut it out but it's never in yeah the point is is then when you get shit from whomever about cutting their shit out you go hey I cut myself I cut myself I was the first guy cut out my film I know what it's

1:03:54like to be cut out film obviously we're fat with cut my scene out so don't complain about your scene you just put a little scene of you that's just waste that's just in a pen it should be cut off like a lizard's tail that would never grow back you just put that in every single move and no would ever give you any shit that's a good idea that's a good idea that's a good idea that's a good I was now I feel so again like uh so naive talking to grand parker the day before going to the cut you did it keep you I yeah I kept so much gets cut out I didn't know he was in ten scenes I easy he was very very good now you know that here's the thing with the gram to get back to the most important part of this sure I knew I needed a guy who was willing to be on screen as a guy who can't sell any records whose career highlights were behind him so we were sitting around like who should we get it what about the guy from uh XTC sure what about Joe Jackson and we you know we just made the list of all the people that we really like but who aren't selling a lot of records oh look sharp and I'm the man nothing better right nothing better nothing better and and and the zillion records after that and so so we started you know trying to figure it out and then a friend of mine

1:04:59said look at grand parker's website and he had written this essay about how he wanted to have his music in more movies and he signed a new publishing deal and I read it and in the middle it said are you reading Judd Appetow wow and I thought well that is a sign that's just so weird weird side and then I went and had lunch with him and started delicately telling him the story and he was just so amused by the idea of the musician who can't sell any records anymore so that because you need a guy on set is not going to be sensitive sure when you talk about it because it's unfair to most artists can't sell records and now I've I've had that like when I used to do the man show you'd have that thing where it'd be like yeah no poly sure we're really interested in having you do a reoccurring feet uh it's it's well tenet working title douchebag of the week but we haven't it's not I mean obviously there's some room for modification but but I understand it's an oh my it's not we're making we're not making fun of you like yeah I've had that it's a sad time it's like

1:06:03Larry Sanders we would have to have those conversations with people at the Larry Sanders show the funniest one was Bob Goldfrey was on the show and was you know hilarious he's always been you know one of my favorites and he didn't realize that in all the scenes around him people would be shitting on him right and making fun of him because that's how the show worked you know in the next scene whatever celebrity left the writers were gonna trash him and and he said uh to Gary he's like I didn't know that you guys were gonna gonna do that because I think it just said it bothered me because so much of what you said was true like a really bothered me he is a bobs a friend and a very sensitive guy I think a lot of comedians he's so great I mean I love what he's done I mean when you talk about like you know just shooting that next movie I lived with Adam Sandler when Sandler shot shakes the clown I mean this is one of the biggest moments in our lives yeah what Sandler is making a movie with Bob Goldfrey and and Tom Cany and and Robin Williams was doing a big

1:07:04cameo in it and I remember me and Sandler going to uh to Bob Goldfrey's place and then Robin Williams came over and now we're just like kids and then suddenly Robin Williams is there and our minds are blown we can bear to speak sure and then like he was very quiet he wasn't in like being funny mode but then maybe just once he said like one thing like oh look at Prince oh we were like oh my god that was the best moment of my life Robin Williams the device I think he's like a cockroach which is like he's either standing still or he's going a hundred miles an hour like you don't see cockroaches jog yeah not like a cockroach is certainly making his way across the kitchen floor but it doesn't seem to have much purpose it's either he doesn't have a dimmer switch I think once either either to get the Baptist minister or you get you get nothing yeah no I so uh but Goldfrey yeah Goldfrey that was like at the you know the big moment in in Sandler's career I remember he had the one joke where he's they say what are you doing in Sandler it says nothing just been juggling and shit and we thought that was the first laugh Sandler ever got in in a move

1:08:08how is that everyone is managed I feel like this town is either half of them are friends with Robin Williams and the other half is friends with with Adam Sandler and then there's me I feel like I'm the only guy who I like both of them I respect both of them but I everyone's like I mean Sandler back at NYU or Robin and San Francisco what happened what we came out of where North Hollywood I came out of North Hollywood yeah it might be the problem you know me and Sandler we lived on a youth and street we lived on youth I grew up on youth and that's where we lived right by like the the Odyssey video yeah and we live there like a 1990 91 so we should have brought what were you doing in 1991 I literally grew up on Houston street which is spelled OU not Houston it's not or no mate maybe spelled phonetically I'll figure that it's in my book anyway I grew up on Houston my family's house is on Houston street in North Hollywood and I

1:09:13got out of North Hollywood high which is down Magnolia Boulevard there from Odyssey Odyssey is a like a blimp hanger for porn and they had like that huge porn section in the back yeah yeah it was Houston with a U right it's like pretend it could be it's it's there yeah yeah Odyssey yeah it pretends that it's for normal movies but really that's just a front have nine billion movies and right and and so I grew up there I went to North Hollywood high I got out of North Hollywood high I started cleaning carpets I started digging ditches and then I just started working construction and I never really knew comedy was was viable you know way to make a living and somewhere in the early 90s I was a living in La Crescenta with a couple of guys in a rental house I was teaching boxing at a place called bodies and motion and I was why do they think they've

1:10:15got a lot of coverage I know bodies and motion got a lot of coverage yeah I I don't I don't know and by the way if you want to know what I was doing all you have to do is watch the movie that's what I was doing that guy Oswaldo was his name is Oswaldo and me and him work construction together same guy yeah like I was like you're gonna I'm gonna teach you how to act as a matter of fact I was like you don't have to act just be your be yourself and then I realized nobody could understand Aussie speaking so if you watch the movie you'll notice that every time he says something I go I'll repeat it or someone else will repeat it so he'll say yeah amazing hair yeah who told you about comedy what was the leap to do comedy um I just knew I knew I was funny and and I knew I was good building shit and so I just was very pragmatic about the whole thing which is

1:11:16I and and I would encourage everybody to do this where you you take a little inventory of yourself but realistic inventory like yeah what are you good at what are you not good at what could you do and what shouldn't you do I was a bad student I was bad at many things but I was very good mechanically and I thought I had a good sense of humor so the mechanical part I was already doing driving a truck swing a hammer and all that and I knew that sucked like that was not a bunch of money and a life that didn't involve travel or women or intrigue or anything at all you're lacquer center yes I was in lacquer fucking center and and it sucked so I was like well I do this and I'm good at this and this sucks so there's this other thing which is comedy which I think I can do which you know has potential I mean who knows me and you look I don't need to get to the top of the heap I can just make a living I would have been more than happy just to write for

1:12:17greeting card company or just get on some sort of animated show and just write jokes or something and so I said well let's start pursuing that so I went to the groundlings and then I eventually met Jimmy Kimmel and I taught him to box because they're doing some radio stunt and he got me on the radio and you know one thing I'm gonna do another but lots of so you didn't start from standup you started from I did a lot of open mics yeah see the standup thing is tough because when you're starting out like yourself like you and I probably not put on this earth to do standup but you're funny enough that you can do standup and because there's no other outlets or there were no other outlets you end up so that ends up being like this sport it's kind of like you're in Mexico and your sport is ultimate frisbee yeah but they're like we got a soccer ball and you're like I like ultimate frisbee and they're like yeah but we got a soccer ball so play soccer but

1:13:21you're doing it now and you go all right I'll kick the ball around and you're good enough athlete yeah that you could be good enough at soccer to kind of make your way onto the team and yeah I do standup now and I do it sort of like you do your movies minus the payday which is I do standup mix with stories and then mix with like some inspiration and some stuff minus like joke joke you set up joke whatever like something that can be a little more personal look at a more human like theaters or yeah theaters and it depends oh yeah town hall sorry town hall New York that's a big that's a big place I saw a man I've seen a lot of people town hall so a lot of Wayne right in town hall some some may say too big I'll take it so I'll see how that goes I think I think we still got a few left really you know I say too do you need to tweet some plugs oh Judd that would be that would be massive that would be massive yeah and again she's a weird thing

1:14:24because you were Dennis Miller the city national oh yeah grown up man I'm right I used to open up for Dennis I opened up for him at the Dallas improv I've been to the Dallas improv we are I think I have it's a Dallas one of my first gigs ever was writing the pregame show to the Paul Simon live in Central Park concert and the pregame half hour before the concert was Dennis Miller just doing like a really comedy special about Paul Simon and so I got to hang out with Dennis watch like the rehearsals watch Paul Simon rehearsed and then go to the show where I had the pass where I could be in the front row is like 400 500 thousand people there and I can watch Paul Simon from like one foot away was like the greatest thing in my life wow you can't see him if you're more than five feet away he dips away quickly the earth goes around the curvature yeah it's weird because like if if we go to the if I go to the more theater in Seattle 2000 seats and I'll sell out like

1:15:28that because I don't know why but that's me and that's Seattle and then it varies like some places Boston great New York usually good maybe the storm has slowed this one down a little but with your tweet I feel like we're going to have some impact we're going over the top um I you know I look at I mean I I lost my radio career you know three and a half years ago and I had to go out and do stand up like for a living for like the first time ever and it was weird and it was kind of good sort of I don't know humbling and and and good in a certain way like of course is it to figure out what you're thinking about and who you are yeah and just like physically get out and do it like it's so easy when you become an adult to get away from the things that aren't in your wheelhouse I mean I think about this all the time which is when you're young you go well I'm no good at math

1:16:30and someone goes well too bad you have an algebra class and you go yeah but I don't like algebra they go well go fucking crack a book and see if you can get better at it you just do it and for the geeks it's sports and for the jocks it's the classroom but we all have but your force to go out you're you know your geek you're still forced to try to climb that rope at gym class and then you become an adult and you go fuck it I'm never climbing another rope or my case I'm never reading another book I'm mad when my kids want to play sports right I never I'm never I'm never going to go anywhere near any of this shit I'm not good at I'm not good at it so if you're not good with music you don't work on an instrument if you're not good with language you don't work on a second second language but then it kind of stunts growth in a certain way you get really good at what you're really good at already but you stay way the fuck away from the stuff that you might be better at than than you think but you're you're too insecure to go back there like yesterday

1:17:30I took a spinning class for the first time really it's a soul cycle and took a spinning class that is out of my wheelhouse wow took a spinning class that's right it only took me 40 almost 45 years to get there and how was that it was my ass hurts today it it hurts and but I didn't get injured it made my wife very happy to see me I was kind of saying this feel quickly life based oh well made her very happy for me to go and probably something I should know should go to you do things like that um just like spinning yeah like a formalized exercise class thing um no I mean I you boxed though it's a little bit yeah because I used to work in that world and it feels weird to go back as a civilian I'd rather be the guy walking around yelling your last easy day was yesterday and stuff like that rather than the person's on the other side of that and uh I do I was teaching my son had a box a little bit of six and and having having some fun with that both boys

1:18:35or a boy to girl how you know and was that idea too that's it wow you did it perfectly you did it perfectly yeah yeah boy and girl because they kind of like each other right you don't have like a full on sibling rivalry six is the best age ever oh six is like you're finally passed them trashing the restaurants and you could go out and they start talking to you like real people and they're funny and cool and but they will go to sleep and I'm saying yesterday you can actually like have them do some bidding for you like they're they're their their mind is awake enough that they could go to the kitchen and grab your beer and bring it back to the room or in or go they can go fetch things sure and uh I said yes and my podcast I was sitting at the park with them over the weekend and I heard a socket that it small soccer team and junior soccer team and the game was over and they did a sort of two four six eight who do we you know for each team has to congratulate the other team and the one team said Germany Germany yay Germany and I what the

1:19:40fuck first thought no one never appreciated Germany and I thought this is weird and I thought did I hear that I was a hundred yards away but I thought this is funny and I told my daughter run out there and go ask them what teams they just and then run back and she came back with both teams and it was nice because I didn't want to walk up there what was it it was Germany and uh Spain or something that's the names they use in soccer they they decided to go international but then like I said it's gonna get complicated because you have Mexico and you have you know Somalia and you have some some places that possibly an ethnic cleansing that's you don't mean anything you have to go who do we appreciate Chechnya yeah Chechnya yeah yeah it's gonna get weird yeah and maybe they won't go that deep yeah but either way just appreciating Germany sounds that's I but they're all bummed they're on Germany I I other Jewish kids on that and that's it's a very that would be my next question asked my daughter to go mule over the how much will the parents complain uh I should uh explain or at least take a moment and uh tell people that uh

1:20:44oh Judd I should give you some of my delightful man Gria I'll take it what is it it's uh it's uh it's like sangria I like it I like it with a little punch to it okay it's got uh where do I get it it's not ah man Gria you can go to buy man Gria dot com man knows how the game has played I love that and if you want to support the pirate ship again fired for my radio gig and obviously my independent film career not paying the bills you can go to uh Adamcroll dot com and you can get any of Judd's movies yeah TV shows any any stuff you're gonna get off amazon you go to amcroll dot com you click through the banner then you get Judd's library and then you get a little taste and I get to what might be okay let's talk about what you good wet your beak with because I have things that are coming at least okay and you could help Adam which is important the soundtrack to this is 40 with the music of Fiona Apple yeah and Z Buckingham the punch brothers Wilco avid brothers Yoko Ono and Paul McCartney on the same record Paul Simon that's a good one uh

1:21:48the movie heavyweights the first movie I ever wrote comes out December 11th you could buy that right now you could pre-order that wow on amazon heavyweights we made this a whole documentary about us making it a lot of outtakes of stiller being mean to kids which is fun also ready you're gonna make some money on this right now this is gonna be a big day for you financially girls season one DVD also out around the eleventh of December right here you can buy the whole thing with the commentaries and the making of girls and and it's actually really really good so those three things girls heavyweights soundtrack to this is 40 and also you could always buy freaks and gigs and undeclared on DVDs and also just to speak about girls Lena Dunham would be one of the few chicks you could get caught beating off to and probably get a pass from the wife I don't think I would get the pass I would well you're close close close close and we're creating no not you yeah not me one other

1:22:48people one other people yeah you get caught on the milk and in pop and website you're gonna have a free pass you ever get a free pass on the beating off yeah yeah but to a specific person I mean you get a free pass like oh I was alone and you could say I was thinking of you but do you ever get a free pass where there's actually like a picture of someone else um around or someone on the computer I don't think you get a free pass yeah oh you mean like when I use the liquor store to cody girl cardboard cut out yeah yeah no that's not a that you don't get a free pass no how big a price would you pay how long would your wife hold on to that it's hard it's hard it's hard to tell I I don't know that you know she has a kind of a emotional tupperware that oh that gets burped quite a bit and that doesn't seem to be affected by time or sunlight or anything else well women have that guys uh don't in the terms in terms of I don't think I hang on to that much stuff but it's usually

1:23:52because I'm tuned out when it's happening so it's like getting into a fight when you're drunk it's just doesn't haunt your soul that much and doesn't impact you that greatly as long as as long as you there's no brain damage it's much better to get into a fist fight when you're shit faced and I'm sort of emotionally shit faced in a lot of discussions I have with people that are you forget you forget what you're mad about yeah I'm a little more reptile than human in that department once when my wife and I were in the middle kind of a real fight I'd literally fell asleep in the middle of the fight and it wasn't middle of the day it wasn't even nice wow I just literally fell asleep unconscious and she was like I cannot believe you literally just fell asleep I'm like I got stuck out I don't spell asleep wow you like one of those goats yeah exactly I'm like I'll be getting a room at belly I just went down wow it is the goat that I can't feel those fucking goats anyway let's pay some quick bills over here ah Trojan well you don't

1:24:56have to use that with your beautiful wife but a lot of folks want to play it safe and maybe do well you don't need any more kids do you know I think we're you know we didn't go for three just like you three yeah it is a whole other level yeah you're pushing your luck at that point but when you get a little older you're gonna wish yeah you went for three not that Trojan's not a good product because it's it's a fantastic product oh yeah I was your bad when I was a kid I had a the same Trojan in my wallet for about six years mm-hmm that's how good a product and then it's still worked it still works back when they used to have a drawstring back in the old day I had a joke in my act or I used to say I had a a Trojan condom in my wallet for so long that it melted and turned into a diaphragm they have the they have the pleasure pack I should tell people that is four varieties of premium quality Trojan condoms for one great price and they got the lubricated for for the comfort there and the sensitivity I'll tell you it's not like you're not even wearing

1:25:58a condom anymore I'll tell you and stopping all those nasty things that want to hop on your dinging and vice versa you know hey it's a jungle out there people gotta cover up each condom is triple tested to help ensure reliability now there's a gig that's right I thought the guy had to bend in Jerry's tasting plant had a gig this is the gig this is if this is a this is a gig I got I got to submit an application lickety lickety split anyway you can count on Trojan America's number one most trusted condom brand and did you just make a lot of money on all that I think we did I think we did also like I said like Judd's going to be tweeting about town hall that is Saturday night tomorrow night New York City and Grove Anaheim I think me and Miller got that place sold out pretty good so don't bother with that he kills so hard Dennis Miller he is I know I know that's that's the thing like I'm a little bit scared because it's like you know I

1:27:06say when I feel about sort of like whoever who ever dated Jennifer Aniston after she was married to Brad Pitt like geez that guy looks pretty good with in his underpants doesn't he like Dennis Miller after the election yeah like I'm gonna rip that house down whatever happens that's a big no I'm going I'm going on first I'm not going second I'm going on first the movie and like I said I really it was I was I was really trying to watch this movie because I wasn't sitting in a crowded movie house as it was a preview but I really think this movie is important I think it's really good and I think it's not only a good movie to watch with your wife and and it's nice that you don't have to get into that all right flippa coin whose turn is it this weekend are we gonna see the notebook or we're gonna see transformers five like are we what are we gonna see I was

1:28:09proud of the hammer because I'm proud that your wife enjoyed it and you enjoyed it as well and I think it's nice to make something that kind of walks that line between the male and female and their different sensibilities but I not only think judge new movies important for couples to see but I would urge bringing kids probably 12 or older to check it out as well because you you get it it's just a very nice peak behind the curtain of really what's what's happening in in people's homes and even the homes that you don't think have these kinds of problems or maybe they don't have the same problems that your home has but rest assured there are problems yes and we and we all we all live in there it is in theaters December 21st you can go to the website this is 40 movie.com and again I think your wife Leslie Mann is going to get some notices Oscar-wise for this when

1:29:17does that all come out we this is December 21st so it's this year it's in under the wire when do you when do you hear about that or forget her bad probably in January I guess I and and and and it and I really I we had Christoff Waltz on my program right after he didn't glorious passes and I was like buddy you just won the Academy Award he was like oh please you know and I was like you fucking won it in three different languages believe me believe you want it and I just I just think Leslie was I know it's weird to talk about Oscar whatever for comedies but she was that good and it just showed that much well I'm very proud of what she did and I'm kind of shocked and amazed that what she does and what she's willing to do as much as anybody else it was just a tour de force and Paul Rudd was great and your daughters were great and it's just a great and important film

1:30:18and you guys should all go check it out again in theaters December 21st this is 40 and uh Judd I'm gonna make that next movie get dammit come on what are you waiting for why are you denying us right that's what I thought but it ended I'm like why would you not just go make another one this one totally is great why why stop come on all right don't be lazy that's it I'm going to make another movie right it on the plane and the way to do the Dennis Miller gig uh I'm driving to that but uh on the way to town hall town hall I'm gonna ride it think it's still available all right so until next time this is Adam Kerala for Judd Apertown saying Mahalo all right those Adam Kolasho 949 one on one with Judd Apertown go next we have Adam Kolasho 1444 featuring Arnez J DeFrakai Alson Rosen and Brian Bishop this one's from 2014 check it out speaking the last night uh world series some game glorious I was I was feeling pretty good about my

1:31:22son who was wanted to watch replays of the NFL week that happened prior to this and I said it's the seventh I want to sit over the world series I said seventh seventh game of the world series and he was like yeah but baseball blows did he work the uh the move the needle come in it again no he he he worked the baseball's boring and it sucks and I said absolutely correct so you know this is a correct answer but this is the seventh inning or the seventh game and this is ironically was about the seventh inning and it's a one run game and we should definitely hang out for the next 25 minutes and see how this one ends even if you're hot or cold on baseball medium cool this is as good as it gets yeah and the thing that's the thing that's great about all sports is the insane unknown just the the machinations the the different ways that things can happen the vagaries the vagaries that you never knew you just go all right if he gets a single here then they got a guy

1:32:23on first but not the guy booting it in center field and then the ball rolls to the track and then the guy at the track boots the ball and then the guy who's running it out it's got no wheels and I I was going and say now I was yelling at my wife uh the guy at third base the coach should have should have sent him really really should have sent him you think so well and here's what I said although she was tuned out and it drives me nuts when I call shit and then people are tuned out I said he should have sent him what is that sorry what does that mean send him home uh waved him around but don't don't hold up at third base don't hold up at third base go and go and try to go home go home go home because else in there were two outs there there we go so they're down to their last out they they could not if they made another out they give the whole world series is over and Gary you can stop it when I tell you to stop but you'll see to certain point the runner is almost halfway between second and third when the guy still on still

1:33:28I didn't show it from the angle but still still on the track picking the ball up the guy's halfway now the guy who's running doesn't exactly have wheels right but here was what I like in it too because I like to do this in front of my children if ISIS or I cater I'll cater jumps you in the parking lot and says get in the van once you're in the van and the doors are closed that'll be about it you'll just be in some bunker somewhere where doing videos with a guy hearing a guy sharpening a sword and you'll be thinking I did have an opportunity and that opportunity I let the kid now take you to a second look right when I was standing in that parking lot of Costco and Glendale I really should have made a move right that now there's a pretty good chance you would have gotten shot in the back as you ran is up by the runner now going to third base yes okay but that was your opening right I said to Lynette I said the guy who's pitching for San Francisco is pitching lights

1:34:28out ball the next guy is going to get up it's going to pop out right and that will end the game the percentage of the next the the the guy who's pitching is setting records he's a dominant pitcher Allison and not only dominant but when they start going back they're going back dates were guys are named whitey when you're when they're when you have to go back and find out that uh... shoelace whitey brown was of the yes he's been doing better than better than pictures that were named after girls christie mathies and in bay brooth yeah those are the pictures you better anytime Madison on other girls named Madison bum garner bum garner if there's ever time when they have to go back to find a guy named whitey to compare your stats in a world series that is great news for you that means is this is not going on in eighty nine years of the world series so the guys the guys pitching lights out ball right and in my opinion there's little to no chance that the next guy is going to get up and get a base hit which is what he's going to need to get this

1:35:32guy not a long fly out right a base hit and and so by the way I've been watching for the last four innings and this is the only hit I've ever seen right so unfortunately this guy doesn't have wheels but the shortstop or whoever went out and cut it off shortstop he went he went and uh... the one hopped him he cleanly feel that he was going to have to turn around and he was going to fire strike which probably under the the the heat of the moment would have been a would have been a one hopper I'm guessing to home plate and the catcher would have had to handle it cleanly and applied the tag cleanly which he probably would have done but he may not have yes if there's a 20 percent chance you score on that play by sending the runner home it's better than your two percent chance the next hitter gets a hit and I think four percent I would have had it a little more of a sixty forty split because the shortstop would have had to turn and fire a nice ball and a lot of

1:36:36that's a tough throw to make in that situation and oftentimes the catchers don't cleanly receive the ball any look any if that plays not perfect that guy scores if the if the right throws two feet of the right now I said to Lynette well she said then why didn't he go and I said there's a third base I said I stopped it and I pointed to the third base coach and I said see that old guy standing there he had to make a decision and he had a window of about 1.3 seconds max to make the decision swing my arm around meaning go home to the plate or hands up hold up wait at third base now first off he was dealing with and this is why sports are great he was dealing with what would you normally do in this situation well normally you would hold the guy at third but that would be in game number four of the world series in ear ining number five this isn't the end of the end of the end this is a door die this is two outs ninth inning seventh

1:37:38game guys pitch and bum garners pitching lights out ball and that poor 61 year old guy could not process all that but I said more importantly to Lynette this guy if he waves his arm and that guy gets thrown out at home he's the goat he will be blamed for the loss and by the way this game is going to end right now if he waves his arm two and a half seconds from now this game could end at home plate and everyone's going to be booing him as opposed to if he holds the runner stay on third next batter's up the flame still flickers you know and they're still they're still could re-read you made the safe but wrong choice we think so yes and then the guy the next guy popped out and I looked at Lynette and I said what I tell you is going to do and then she looked up from her computer and said uh what and I said I told you they're going to hold they hold the guy and next guy's going to come in and just pop out she's like uh yeah is that what you said if okay then he popped out right and it's like this is never how could it's so unsatisfying it's so unsatisfying

1:38:42so wait is the coach not the goat no because no because 100% the wrong decision it was he's the most people not think it was the wrong decision there's a lot of negatives in that what most people think he well the the problem the reason he's not the goat is because he didn't stick his neck out he made a TV executive decision yes he did a TV executive decision which is the proper decision to make is to hold the guy at third base that's what the manual says he was in factoring in the guy who was pitching who was getting everyone out constantly in an crazy zone and that the next guy would come in he wasn't doing the math he just like this is what the book says it's sort of like they do it in football go for two don't go for two whatever it is it as long as you don't deviate from that you will not be the goat right and now you see it in sports a lot when a manager or coach makes a decision immediately everyone's like what are you doing what was he thinking that wasn't the situation that was oh they're holding him okay it wasn't even they're holding him okay

1:39:43was that's that's what they should be doing the book says yeah that's what the that's what the book says I'm so glad you're interested in this play because obviously I'm a giant span I was dying on that last play let's back up a second because if he had scored on what it was essentially inside the park home run to tie the game in the bottom of the ninth and game seven with two outs that would have been the crazier than the Kirk Gibson home run the craziest playing baseball history right tie the game at home game seven two outs slow whitey inside the park home run now there's a few things I always also look at because I'm I'm feeling based I always look at the person when laughs but I always think about who's bad I like I immediately go to the center field there yes who completely booted that ball Gregorble and then the left fielder who booted it too and I like this boot is booting mean chase and not not catch it he's where they're running around trying to record Blanco weft on the ball he he did to something you talk about a lot which is you want to be either in the ocean or up

1:40:47on the beach not getting pounded by the surf Gregorble on co charge the ball super hard in life be don't be in between yeah he charged it to make the catch and then pulled up at the last second eight feet before the ball came in realize I'm not getting to this and he should have never done it because it's a situation where you have to keep the ball in front of you because there's two outs and your pitchers pitch and lights up all you can't give up a double because the guy will score from second base single single means he should have done with the third base coach that it which is playing it safe if you just give it up a single one of the chances the royals get two more hits off now right not gonna happen but in his mind he's like game over well imagine the game ends with you laying out stretching out and sliding and robbing a guy of a sure hit and by the way that's what leads sports center yeah and then that's iconic image that goes on a million years after you're dead it's in the Smithsonian when the game ends they always have the guy who made the last out so

1:41:51the diving catch and center field in his brain there must have been a I'm going for the job when you're literally and then at the end the last five steps was a oh shit oh shit oh shit he charged too hard it got past him and if you could have a sling I was foot slips just enough to the glove he wasn't playing it's safe then so if that game had been tied up I would have felt horrible for that 26 year old Dominican guy because he would have then gone to his grave going I fucking booted that ball and cost us the game because what would happen is here's what what happened that guy would have scored if he would have scored the next guy would have got in and popped out and they got what have gone in extras and he would have went fuck the next batter would have popped out if I just kept it in front of me would have stopped and he would have been the goat and had to deal with that and I always think if you that's sort of Bill Buckner thing which is Bill Buckner's a famous goat in World Series history because he had a very easy

1:42:53ground ball goes on curb your enthusiasm right yes yes he was so the your world's collide people the I feel horrible for anyone who has to wear that hair shirt around for the rest of their life and this guy and baseball fans because they have nothing to do are more relentless than other fans a lot of downtime I'll get into the downtime in the baseball fans for a second but for some reason football fans have a shorter memory and basketball fans have a shorter memory because I think the game is sped up baseball players they literally sit around and talk about shit that happened in the 20 stuff like that like old 89 year old guys are still talking about shit that went down before World War one murder's row yeah they literally it's it's it's it's it's it's history such a part of the game that you're you fucking up then becomes part of the history which is part of the game NFL it's like uh first off half the players in the league don't couldn't name

1:43:5610 players who played eight years before they came into the league I mean it's just as no it's just no it's no history so I have let us just know it's no it's no real history baseball's all history so that would have just gone down and that would have been yes I was screaming send him but that poor old guy had to make a decision in a split second and he wasn't going to end the game on his watch and he would have been a goat by the book it was the right decision like it's that I'm a giant spam it up part of me wanted him to get sent because that would have been a definitive end of the game or greatest playing World Series history but it would have been a moment that we didn't want to forget but again it was outside of the van lunch at al-Qaeda guy what were the chances that it would have worked I would I would say coin toss in it if you're on on a positive side and on a negative side maybe 25 20 25 percent you saw the runner rounding the bases looking at the wall if he had been head down sprinting out of the box I bet he would have scored but he was kind of oh the ball's gonna get caught oh no it's not oh should I stop he thought he thought he was

1:45:01gonna get a single then he thought he was gonna get a double then he thought he was gonna get a triple but he was running as if and if he just put his beard down and kept going either way I was saying send him because he's gonna pop out and it didn't give a shit and near to sunny who was playing on it was sitting but he hit the ball to the moon why doesn't he using his tablet yeah he he hits the fucking tee to the moon so that was exciting exciting and exciting for Brian is giant fan that was awesome I mean I think Royals fans and sports fans general can agree it was a good series and what seven games that came down to the bottom of the ninth came down the last pitch of the game pretty much and then I got obsessed with what I always get obsessed with especially and it's something I never noticed before but now now I got a 60 inch plasma and everything's in high def and it's non-stop spitting it is an endless fucking cascade of spitting

1:46:03now the picture for KC has a nervous tick when it comes he does it yeah yeah you see him making a little little trough with his lower lip doing a weird kind of like weird sprinkler thing and then and then a big spit and then back to weird like they did things some of them are dipping some of them are eating seeds Pablo Santa ball is dipping enough for everyone else the the guy who hit the triple at a huge thing a dip in his mouth so that you could see his fucking brown lower teeth and the jaw sort of hanging out by the way I don't think that there's no way that dips speeds you up around those bases and then when the last guy who batted does the move for KC does the move where he does he shoots a seed out then he shoots the husk out then he shoots some spit out then he shoots some husk out and I said it's weird too like I can get no traction with this I just go look how about this

1:47:03rule with all the high def and in the spitting is not oh once in a while you see somebody on the team spit from from you know but that's from the good year blim they go to the dugout I fucking with Tivo I counted out they go the dugout for four second shots I'm gonna have a spick hand that's literally just dumping spit everyone's just dumping spit everywhere they go tight on the picture like when the picture standing there looking for the sign up on the mound their his head is taking up the entire screen and he's doing this is weird lower lip service prank I don't even know what it is then he takes his whole hand he puts it in his mouth like he's going and I was funny because the last what is that what's the whole hand in the mouth got a grip on the ball the last talking this on the fingertips the by the way before this discussion it was 20 minutes of me sitting in the kitchen watching Lynette load the dishwasher but every single glass had been thoroughly with hot water cleaned out to the point where it was spotless and fine and I was like

1:48:07just put it on the rack I like it clean it's clean right now there's nothing on it it's completely clean it's utterly clean just put it on the rack right now I want it clean high I want I don't want any bacteria there is no bacteria it's not like I was steeping chicken parts or something in there there's nothing in there just put it I want it in here I was like okay but it doesn't it's not going I have this conversation and it's a weird one but I have it a lot with a lot of people which is I'm not here to criticize I only want to focus on things that make sense in you know your feelings based you loading and unloading that it's just creating extra work for you but my I don't understand is the step of rinsing it out beforehand I feel it feels like a one of the the outstanding over the sink the sink is running of hot water on it and the glass is perfectly clear and perfectly clean now put it here no it's got to be I want the hot while you know I want it

1:49:11steamed or what are okay fine I listen I as I say look we were talking the other night you know the most germs in the world on the coffee pot all the fucking people in the bathroom opening the door with their sleeve lifting the toilet seat with their foot making the whole thing that's fine except for all the germs are on the coffee pot and by the way people pour the coffee then they walk out and they grab a bagel or donut and they walk back to their desk and eat it with that exact same hand they hand hand on the fucking coffee pot handle and don't think twice about it because emotionally it's not moving their needle at all emotionally fine it's it's coffee I like coffee coffee's nice coffee's warm coffee's inviting and there's a donut that's fine how many times have you seen the person tear the croissant or the donut or the bagel and half and put the thing in there everyone walks up they don't pick it up with their fucking sleeve or clean acts or tongs or anything they just pick it up they'll put it up and lead it well that was just in someone's hand they had to grab your end because they had to tear in half they arguably had a better

1:50:11grip on your side they threw it down and you're back in there with the of sleeves and the opening the bathroom door with your foot and all kinds of it's great except for it doesn't make any sense at all and all I ever say to everyone is let's just do what makes sense let's just do what makes sense just do what makes sense and it's like no I I want to do it this way I feel much better about it this way but there's no scientific anything that can back up that manner that you're doing that's creating a whole bunch of extra work for you and it's like understood I like it this way which is it's fucking weird to me how and by the way the entire the entire country is this I mean it makes sense what you're saying but I'm just thinking the person who says to you uh-huh I get it but I like doing it this way I'm wondering if they actually don't believe what you're saying they act as if they don't believe what I'm saying and there's this new gray area now with people where again where it's like you say to somebody I talked to so and so did you pay him for that gig I

1:51:16thought I did you thought you did because he said you didn't well maybe I didn't well you didn't wait a second ago you said you thought you did did you really think you did why are you being a debt yeah that's that's that's that's my relationship with other humans on the planet but you're acting like a dick what I'm saying is is their actions would suggest they don't believe me but that's not that's that's that's almost too high an order of thought right they're not going to commit they're just going to go with what makes them it's it's much more just superstitious native like this is the way I do it and I'm always like do does anyone want to listen to the guy who never gets sick who owns everything or should put it that way I'm gonna listen to that guy I am the guy never gets sick who owns everything is maybe maybe I have maybe there's some insights I have maybe there are a couple of techniques I know in life that may for owning and not getting sick for owning and not getting sick but that doesn't by the way that those days are long gone like whatever

1:52:22you have done what no meaning done for me lately Adam meaning the back to baseball my batting average is pretty good I don't know how to pants good or I don't bet on a lot of my pants are lower I don't bet on a lot of fucking I don't bet on a lot of dogs I don't I don't make a lot of like decisions that I regret you know and then like when I say like this is good it's usually good but it's not that people they do not they don't think you're a liar it's just this is the way I do it it's it's basically it's like you know the it's it's everything in life like we talk about like look you're you're not religious you're not superstitious but if we're getting on a plane we're not gonna talk about plane disasters it's just not we're not gonna do that you know it has nothing to do with this flight but still that's not gonna be a topic it's gonna be on the table right on right yes there's that it's that kind of a thing but either way it's spitting it's spitting it's more spitting it's spitting it's spitting so I say to Lynette what what the fuck like now with high

1:53:27death and everyone with the 65 inch plasma how about this rule no dip when you're walking a home plate or if you take them out look eat lay out a full fucking Caesar style buffet in the fucking dugout but once you go out to perform what you're being paid millions of dollars to do I look have you ever seen Kobe Bryant running up and down the fucking hardwood with a burrito in his hand and go and ask going oh hey hungry I know he's got to eat I need why can't he like what's a big deal or or just sitting on the bench with some nachos between his legs or something we've carved out three hours where you do your job can you not eat during that period I will we'll schedule the game when you eat lunch one two good we'll make the game for three and then you'll be home for supper at seven like but during this period can we can we just not I mean look I a lot of you guys smoke weed a lot of you guys like to have a cold one a lot of you guys like to eat

1:54:28pussy but during this three hour period can we limit that can we not eat snatch during the fucking three hour period or is the answer I like eating pussy I think for some pussy helps them play ball you're getting paid millions of dollars a year can you leave the fucking seeds in the dip in the dugout so these guys all come up the home plate or take them out it's and they're spitting all over everything spit just flew out of your mouth yes and Lynette's like she does what everyone does it's baseball they they just that's what they do what are you going to do say no and I was like absolutely exactly absolutely I want I want to take a sharpie and I'm going to erase the San Diego Padre's logo and I want to put a swastika on there how about that no dancers no you don't get to do that poor part it's a game I picked them specifically because I have an angel tie up the delicious one the point is this the answer just be no and I'm not saying you

1:55:33can't dip or eat seeds when the game's over but during this window just like in basketball just like in football you don't see fucking patent manning eating a fucking grinder or a hoagie on the this no it's not during this period of time all right and how about this how about just this as a start eat all the seeds you like chew all the dip you like but before you head to the on deck circle or before you take the mound how about you rinse out with a little tap water and just for the for the very brief time you'll be at the plate the 86 seconds you'll be at the plate you won't have to engage you cannot engage in this activity that's super gross and high depth for just this one moment in time yeah yes but that sound sound fair yeah and then hey pitcher you'd like to get back to your seeds in your dip here's your incentive go out there throw three pitches have them all be grounders to the shortstop and you can run back and get

1:56:34your precious seeds in dip let's beat up the game why it's disgusting and it's like well the players association would never go for never go for not eating while you're batting never go for not ingesting tobacco it's the by the way the fucking the dip is as dangerous or almost as dangerous as smoking I mean it's up there it's not it's not it's probably statistically not as what's definitely not a happy alternative dfg hell yeah hey deaf right guy what's up to live in this to dream yeah dfg it's been too long oh it's with the the death that I'm going to do I dance on on face it if with a clean up those pumpkins that's right that's a fair that's a first thing dfg ever said to me what's up bro what's up bro hey were you gonna do some jv or all balls like a

1:57:37Halloween style version oh yeah but dude I never know anybody has gotten lip cancer from dip oh well you you hang around a bunch of 20 something year olds but when these guys get older man it gets ugly they get a they get it up there lips and jaws and everything I'm giving a grisly winter green pouches out for trick a tree candy oh no no you can't give dip out are you well you don't like it I'll take it oh you're talking about the actual the pouch the coming out yeah for kid no no no the pouches all the whole thanks given dinner bro I would love by the way I would this one I'm gonna do oh my god are you ready set up the go pros okay I'm going out to Santa Monica I'm gonna give out powdered candy cigarettes and the little grisly dip pouches okay those would be the only two options when the kids come by it's gonna be so awesome to have

1:58:39that that that's something for me that is a fucking awesome port or call them porch arguments and I'll be like they're yeah they're called candy cigarettes candy cigarettes there's candy corn it's not real corn if your kid was allergic to corn they could delete candy corn yeah that's right and the grisly pouches those are smokeless that's right yeah you're coming out of head the greatest awesome porch argument ever all right so DFT where were we oh dude I think we will I was going to ask you some JB all ball questions all right I think we have a they have an intro right and now mangria presents the death frat guy and JB or all balls he calls from the frat house on to the show the death frat guy hearing him hey bro he's hammered all day long with crew chee moves and by the air they chug some rooms

1:59:49you potato comes and then play the big cookie if something's fishy he'll make the call so now it's time for JB all balls all right the dfg oh yeah um what do you think about moves always threaten up like a lady like a hot chick this year he's gonna be sexy Ebola nerd uh huh time is timely so you worry now most is the one who had wood during the half time of super ball were Mick Jagger performed right boy he had wood raffling all the time with other dude so you're a little like best friend yeah no I understand what you'll nervous about moves like you know he maybe we might be gay he goes as a woman

2:00:49every time he's by oh you think he's by he was always is not buying him more he's eight are eight actual he's not having no sex now not yeah that's I don't know dude he's a freak dude but tonight he's dressed he always dressed it up like a chick on yeah I'll tell you I've gone as a chick many years I would say if there was a guy and you thought what if that guy's gay or not he would never dress as a chick on Halloween because he wouldn't want it he'd overcompensate yes he goes super masculine right mm-hmm so I'm gonna say all balls it's not JB I'm going yeah all balls I feel like it's JB I'm sorry Adam I just think it's a little typical cliche JB all right JB all right why don't you just go ahead and get you know save some makeup and just put a cock in your ass now wow is that a makeup saver oh I see right okay all right listen I hope Moose doesn't listen to

2:01:53this podcast I don't know what he's doing dude he's up in frisco oh he's celebrating working for the San Francisco jacks and Halloween is like that Christmas oh that moves oh that jacks yeah that's yeah well we can get into that later all right anyway what oh hell yeah oh yeah yeah oh dude what you think about when people when the kids are used eggs for egg houses mm-hmm you know it's weird because I enjoy eating eggs but people always say oh it'll take the paint screws up the paint on the car and it screws up the it's weird that something you eat so readily and serve your kids on a daily basis takes the paint off of cars does it really do that everyone claims that it really fucks things up the thing about eggs is they're a little bit I love the notion of hucking things but the egg is a

2:03:00little aggressive first off if it hits you it's gonna if it hits you in like the eyeball or the orbital soccer so it's gonna fuck you up a little bit number one number two you could throw you could bust a window with an egg probably pretty easily and you can kind of it makes enough now if it then drives overnight and like I said on the car it kind of it's hard to clean off and all that kind of shit plus you know just the hucking of food especially a protein yeah you know galagher smashing melons is one thing this is a protein source I want something in between toilet paper and eggs okay all the papers are penned about two yes it's it's not quite you know it's like I told the papers to light eggs are a little little too aggressive water balloons yeah but then that's like you could sleep through that you know that that's okay but you have to hit the person with it I'm gonna say I'm gonna say JV I don't like throwing eggs at people I've never saw the appeal I say JV I think JV as well all balls you told all about my people you threw them at the house

2:04:05mm-hmm like who would you throw it at like Ashley's house or something like that I like the dean you find out where he live I do a professor that gave you a bad grade or or failed you because maybe you showed up late or didn't go to the class the whole semester yeah but then don't you think you should fail if you don't go the whole semester but dude you want to make that dean or professor you want to make the the house look like it will white it's gonna be yellow the next day with egg yeah yeah all right well it's the most perfect weapon that nature ever made yeah well potato potatoes up there too right no you could throw yourself yeah yeah I got a potato gun right now yeah yeah yeah all right give us two more all right how yeah hmm um playing oki oki candy corn oh oki cookie is bad enough but oki candy corn is a small target well oki cookie is

2:05:10no it's played I I sure do but if the listener would like to know then perhaps someone should explain but I'm I am familiar with this game I have no idea hey jason if you uh if you if you if you toss out to Gary Gary can find um hey uh dfg oh yeah uh remember you used to watch the man show back in the day right yeah with the fox yeah there was uh I think there was a man show the joggy yeah there's a man show frat house kit for kids like play you know it's a sort of GI Joe's but frat boys it was a whole like you know barbie streamhouse but it was like for nine-year-old boys uh that bit I think may have involved though I think we'll uh I'll show you that bit if we can find haven't seen it in a million years but remember that bit dfg I think it will frat got super hero yeah something something like that

2:06:12all right so oki cookie uh so whoever finishes last has to eat the oki candy corn oh yeah now um in a way there's a there's a part of me does everyone come on one candy corn I I don't I think that's going to be a tallish order is that it's a small target yeah no I I'm picturing more of a uh a yellow cup filled with uh candy corn or soda damn bag full of again yeah um so on one hand it's one of those things where you go oh my god no another hand it's kind of like when you someone says I went over Niagara Falls in a barrel you're like I could never do that but I kind of respect it I kind of respect the crazy challenge I mean that's that's it's very sporty challenge that's a very crazy challenge yeah I say it's uh literally all balls I can't see a benefit to this I say jv I appreciate the seasonal aspect all balls wow

2:07:14it is all balls because it's exactly what eight was saying it's like um the adrenaline rush you get from not eat it's not every candy corn is covered in jizz yeah no but for me no I was saying more like being on a really laser focus and not be the last one do you have to say there are some candy corn you could enjoy yeah okay I get you all right safer than the cookie cookies covered yeah I understood understood all right give us one more tfg all right look I just do a speed round bro okay grimace for McDonald all balls all balls jv oh yeah pink guy well it's not pink guys it's earning it or or or giving it you know what I mean it's like nobody likes crabs but if you got it from a supermodel I think we'd be okay with that so I'm gonna say surprisingly all balls jv jv jv all right thank you thank you all balls jv jv fall into world

2:08:20series default classic oh the fault classic it even sounds boring sounds like a golf tournament I'm going to jv all balls jv jv how you have called the world theory thank you all right goblins bro goblins yeah I think it's jv I'm tired of goblins all balls go go all balls they're all balls yeah I hate to talk jv hold on a second one more one more your speed round okay not letting others define you I think it's jv I think telling people not to define you it's like telling people not to judge you it's impossible this is gotta be all balls all balls it's all balls never let people define you especially others don't let other people define you especially others oh yeah okay that's a good positive note that's like a good reanna themed song you know thanks dfg hell yeah bro I just

2:09:26want to can I give a shout out to my um twitter and and pushy don't go do's getting over ebolla how you have to have a Halloween you feeling um segregation yeah quarantine right yeah for a quarter um another quarter of a month or some shit yeah okay so poochies uncle got de bola he kept it positive okay all right that's enough that's enough all right dfg uh you can go at the death frat guy on twitter if you want to send dfg out some more it was a symptomatic until he started fire hosting diarrhea from his ass right that's it yeah ebolla was like a wolf rean crawled up his ass and was fighting to get out of him he's an eloquent man poochies uncle he should get him on the show so while he's descriptive uh all right thanks dfg hell yeah bro all right

2:10:26that was jv or all balls with death frat guy brought to you by man gria uh let's see rs j comedian is here waiting to come in we'll bring him in a second we have um the man we have the man show on a fraternity action heroes okay we'll run you there fraternity action heroes fraternity action heroes five tough guys one tough fraternity smiddy will joe big Dave pooter and the toad i'm the evil dean and i'm gonna shut your house down if you don't cast tomorrow's exam forget you Dean we're going to go and truth in him my dad's favorite i'll pick up some ecstasy for our party with the campers

2:11:31collect all five so you and your friends connect out classic fraternity rituals oh fraternity action heroes okey cookie sold separately four of them are like traditional figures in the one fat guy in a toga the one blue she yeah i'm with a toad yeah i remember uh having a nice conversation with the uh the all the ladies at comedy central were 51 year old ladies and i was like they're adam what is an okey cookie uh well it means different things to different people but i do know this okey is not on anybody's no fly like i mean you know fcc you can say okey all day long and of course cookie and what's better than a cookie so you know you you uh i'd be talking to Debbie Liebling going well for you know you can say okey cookie i mean that much we know um i don't know if we can show uh one of the lads eating an okey cookie that i might be you know

2:12:35crossing the line but you should be arguing no okey cookie and we'd be like well let us just show the cookie but not okeyed and they should be like and then she'd be like well let me go down the hall and run it down one of the lawyer and talk to the lawyer about it like all right well you'll be you know get back there's pretty quick on this okey cookie thing because we're running this thing and you have these thing well um well if you run it for the audience because we're taping two shows and i can we edit out the okey cookie if we if it standards and practices well it might be tough to carve the okey cookie out of the and it's like it's like two adults on a 22-minute conference call about the uh the okey cookie the cookie is okey that maybe there was my entire life was arguing about that kind of stuff with some and by the way all all nothing amounts to anything like you have these super heated arguments that go on for sometimes days on and off and then

2:13:38you blink your eyes and 12 years passes and no one gives a fuck no one brings it up no one's getting a fuck back then nobody gave a fuck back then either it was just somebody was getting paid a lot to pretend like they gave a fuck and you were going to get into an argument with them all right we will bring uh arenas j out all right that's Adam Kool-Aid show 1444 that does it for days cool the last six make sure to tune tomorrow for an all-in installment until then well and get it up you hello and welcome to Pluto foe if you know the name of the movie you'd like to see

2:14:39just stream it for free on Pluto TV we're all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer law catch anchor man the legend of Ron Burgundy fantastic the matrix trilogy welcome to the real world mean girls side up right on the key in the world and so much more for showtime express nothing they're free 247 that is so a fact on Pluto TV stream now pay never podcasting isn't just about talking it's about growing engaging and monetizing and that's where podcast one pro comes in whether you're an independent creator or a major brand podcast one pro gives you the tools you need to take your podcast to the next level we're talking about premium hosting advanced analytics dynamic ad integration and expert distribution all designed to maximize your reach and revenue plus with access to podcast ones industry leading network you'll be connected to top tier

2:15:43advertisers and a massive audience it's time to go pro and turn your passion into profit visit podcast1pro.com to get started today podcast1pro the power behind the podcast hello and welcome to Pluto foe if you know the name of the movie you'd like to see just stream it for free on Pluto TV we're all your blockbuster favorites are landing all summer law catch anchor man the legend of Ron Burgundy fantastic the matrix trilogy welcome to the real world mean girls side up right down in the key in the world and so much more for showtime press nothing they're free 247 that is so a fact on Pluto TV stream now pay never