Gina Gardiner & Friends with Dr Noah St John & Babette St John

0:00It's time now for Gina Gardner and friends. The show that shares stories from inspiring people from a wide range of expert guests all focused on helping you live a happier, more successful and fulfilling life. Gina Gardner is a multiple number one international best selling author, motivational speaker, business coach and trainer. She's the founder of Genuinely You. It has over 30 years experience of helping people step into their genuine, authentic power personally and professionally. Matthew. Oh, sorry. It's okay. I just need you to listen to me. I know that a lot of times mom, it might not seem like I'm listening to you, but I am. I hear you. And what you say really does matter to me. I mean, let's be honest. No kid likes rules, but I get why we have them. I hear you, and I know it's because you care. For more information about talking with your kids about underage use of alcohol and other drugs, visit underagedrinking.samsa.gov.

1:02And now here's your host, Gina Gardner. Hello there and a huge welcome to today's episode of Gina Gardner and Friends. I am delighted to welcome back our old friend, Dr. Noah St. John. He's been on the show many, many times. He's known worldwide to be the father of affirmations and he is the zero friction doctor. And we'll hear more about that. And for the first time, we're joined by the Bet St. John because these two have co-authored their first children's book. Now, Noah is the author of 26 books. He's no stranger to authoring and publishing books, but this is the first time that they've written a children's book. The Bet's the mother of three, the grandmother of two, and she's absolutely passionate about helping children worldwide learn about affirmations in order to develop greater confidence and resilience.

2:02So welcome to the show. Thank you very much for joining me. Thank you, Gina. Great to be back. Thank you, Gina. Now, we're going to be talking about affirmations. I mean, why wouldn't we? When we've got the King Anne Queen of affirmations. But it would be useful, I think, for those people who perhaps are not familiar with your stories to share that. So who's going to go first and tell us their story? Well, as the father of affirmations, I'll go first. Not to have not ladies go first, but just to kick it off here. But for everyone listening, I want people to realize that we are using a new word for many of you. And that is the word that I invented in 1997, almost 30 years ago now, which is affirmations. So that word is spelled AFF-OR-M-A-T-I-O-N-S, AFF formations. And by the way, you can go to afformations.com, learn more about it. But for everyone listening, I'm sure you're familiar. Probably everyone listening's program is familiar

3:04with an AFF formation, right? If you've ever read a self-help book, you know what an AFF formation is? Because every self-help book ever written has said that all you need to do to change your life is use these positive statements or AFF formations. So as a keynote speaker and a consultant, I like to do keynote speeches virtually live all around the world. And one of the things I like to do as a keynote presenter is I'll say to my audience members, all right, we're going to say an AFF formation just like the guru's taught us. So everybody stand up and say an AFF formation, I am rich. And everybody goes, I am rich. You know what happens next? Everybody starts laughing. Yes. And I go, and then I will say to them, well, what are you laughing at? And then they'll say, well, I'm not rich. And I say, but you just said you were. And they go, yeah, but I don't believe it. Now, isn't that the problem with the old method, right? It isn't dead. Method that we've been taught a million times

4:05for all those gurus in every self-help book. If you say the positive statement and you'll believe it, and then it'll change your life. Well, the problem is we don't believe it, right? We say these things, I'm happy I'm rich. I'm successful in the end. And the brain goes, no, you're not. No, you're not, no, you're not. So many years ago in April 1997, 30 years ago now, I discovered this method. I was actually in the shower. I call it the shower of the change to everything. And I discovered that the human brain is, it's wired to answer questions. Human thought really is the process. If you think about it, human thought is the process of asking and searching for answers to questions, not statements. So I literally said, well, if that's the case, if the human brain is automatically searching for answers to questions, why are we going around making statements we don't believe? Why don't we just cut out the middleman? And I said, well, what would that look like? And then I said, well, let's see. The statement is, I am rich and your brain goes, yeah, right, it doesn't believe it.

5:07So I said, if that's the statement, what would the question be? And then I said, why am I so rich? Why am I so rich? And then I realized, when you ask that question, the brain has to search for the answer. And so I realized, wait a minute, I think I just invented something. And so I had to give it a name. And the name I gave it was Aformations. Again, AFFORMATIOS Aformations. And you can, again, you can Google search that, go to the website. But basically, that is the essence of my AFFORMATIONS method. And that is how I came to be known as the father of AFFORMATIONS. Because now I have taught this to over three million people all around the world, over 120 countries. And of course, I've helped people make lots of money and really change their lives. And for the first time now, we have come out with a children's book to help kids learn how to use my AFFORMATIONS method in their everyday lives. And this is something that I've been wanting to do

6:09for many, many years. And so the opportunity just came. And so now we're here. So that's the AFFORMATIONS story. What strikes me, and I couldn't agree with you more, that just saying I'm happy or I'm rich, doesn't do anything other than very often, make you feel even more fed up, because you recognize that there's a huge gap between what you're saying and what you're feeling. But what strikes me the difference in terms of AFFORMATION and AFFORMATION is not only that you are asking your brain to think about why, how, all of those questions. But all of those require you to recognize that there's an action or actions that need to be taken to get you from where you are, to where you're going. And so you start to then think about taking a lined action. And it's that, I believe, that makes the difference. And I'm interested in your take on that. 100% Gina, you hit the nail on the head. So when you say the old way, let's look at the old way,

7:10because remember, that's what everybody's been taught a million times. We've heard it a million times. I am rich. And when you say that statement, what basically happens is you run into a brick wall called your brain. Yeah. And your brain says, no, you're not, because your brain is instantly looking for evidence. Yes. That's one of the things that human brain's really good at. Is looking for evidence when you say something. You say, is that true or not? And of course, for most people on planet Earth, not, right? They don't feel rich. And so, by our formation's method, you never hit the brick wall. You never hit the wall. So let me. Actually, you open it up, don't you? Precisely. Exactly, you go through the door. All right, so let me give you a perfect example. All right, so if I were to ask you a question, why is the sky blue? Why is the sky blue? Do you know what instantly just happened in your brain right at that moment when I asked you that question? I was going through, I suppose, the equivalent of my filing cabinet to think, do I know why the sky is blue?

8:13That's exactly what I don't remember. Although at some point I've been told, the next thing my brain was doing was to look through the filing cabinet that says, where can I find out why the sky is blue? Exactly. You described it perfectly. That's exactly right. Your brain, when you ask a question, your brain automatically searches for the answer. And that is exactly how I describe it. It's your brain is searching its files, right? If you've ever done a Google search or maybe you're searching for a file in your computer, right? Oh, where did I put that file? Or, you know, what is the capital of, you know, Romania? Or whatever, you see what I mean? You're looking for answer, trying to ask and search for the answer to a question. Well, that's what your brain is doing. But your brain's doing it all the time. And this is one of the amazing things about my app formations method. You're always doing this. So you ask the question, why is the sky blue? And your brain goes, the sky's blue because, brrrr, I don't know, but it's searching. It's automatically doing that.

9:14So now when you say an app formation, like, why am I so rich? Your brain has to go brrrr, uh, what? I mean, what? But see, you're searching. And as you stated, what's really wonderful and powerful and frankly, life-changing and transformational about my app formations method is, if you follow the system, follow the framework and follow the method, then you have to take an action. See, when you hit that brick wall, I'm rich. No, you're not. You just stopped. OK, well, I guess I'm not rich. So you want to watch Netflix? You know, you just stopped. But now without forming, why am I so rich? Why am I so happy? Why am I enough? And your brain goes, well, because you're enough, because you're a child of God. You're enough, because that's how you were created. You're rich because you have friends, because you have health. Because you see what we just did. And now your brain has to search for the answer. And it's finding wonderful answers. This is one of the things that I tell my audience is all the time, whether, you know, they're in fifth grade

10:15or whether they're in their 50s. When you ask the question, your brain has to search for the answer and the answers become your life. Your brain is already doing this. Every human on planet Earth, this is one of the things that I hope people get from this interview, is that for everyone listening to the sound of my voice, you're already using my affirmations method. There's only two problems here. The first problem is that most people, of course, don't know they're doing this. But the second problem, which is, frankly, even worse, is that most people are asking really lousy questions. They're asking really what I call disempowering questions. This is one of the things we talk about in our children's book, which is, why am I not good enough? Why can't I do anything right? Why am I invisible? Why don't I have any friends? Do you see? These are struggles that children go through, but also guess what? Lots of adults too. And so the point is that when you ask lousy questions, what do you get? You get lousy answers, but that is creating a life you don't want.

11:19So now using my affirmations method, you can take conscious control of the questions you're asking and when you change the questions, that's when you begin to change your life. You know, I talk about taking radical responsibility for your thoughts, your beliefs, your actions, and your words. And what really strikes me with something that's so apparently so simple, it's a bit like an iceberg, you know, that the word affirmation is the tip of the iceberg. But when you look at the psychology that goes along underneath it, I think it's really very powerful. And I don't, you talk about people not asking powerful, empowering questions. And I think that, you know, if you look at parents and teachers, and I spent my 30 years in education, I think we often train children to ask disempowering questions. So John, why did you do that? Why were you so silly? Why, why can't you be like your brother? Why, why indeed?

12:21And so they get used to those sort of questions being asked and that becomes very much part of our identity. I'm stupid. I must be stupid, because they're saying, why are you so stupid? Well, you're absolutely right, Gina. Do you want to speak to that? Well, I was going to say, we've ignored you so far, but I don't want to be trying to bring her in here. I do apologize. No, she's on my, before we go to the break and we've got a few minutes, I want to talk about your story before we go come back after the break to talk about affirmations in much more detail. So I know you're a mum, and I know you're a grandmother. You're a nanny, grandma, or grandma? Grandma. Grandma. Grandma. So tell us about you. OK, well, I met Noah 18 years ago, and I loved, and that his mission is my mission. I want to help the next generation, and that's starting with the kids, because then they become adults, right? Yes. Parents are using his affirmations,

13:23teaching and having them listen to his eye forms of, you know, why am I good enough? Why am I so loved? These affirmations, they're starting when they're just little infants and even pregnant mothers. And that is my mission, because I love Noah's mission of the affirmations. And once I heard it, I went, oh my gosh, this, it starts with the young kids when they grow up. And that's why there's so many dysfunctional adults, you know what I mean? That have all these psychological problems and stuff, because just like you were talking about, you know, they're, why aren't you as good as your brother? You know, why aren't you good as your sister? And by teaching the parents and the teachers and the children about affirmations, do you know that even sparks a feeling? You feel when you're saying the affirmations and it triggers something in someone's emotional

14:24and you know, that's how I fell in love with Noah was I love his mission, not his good looks, but very loving, but his mission became my mission. And that's why we wrote that we'd been wanting to write a children's book for years, but now it's... Now we finally did. Now we finally did, but... Before we go to the break, tell me how did you two meet? Well, okay, that's gonna take a little bit longer. So why don't we, maybe we should probably go to the break because it's a great story and I even wanted to hold it. Okay. And I'll give you a short version, I promise, but even the short version's really good. Okay, well we'll do that after the break, but I just wanted to come back to then, in terms of of looking at how we help children. And I think the number of children who are struggling with mental health, with poor, I think it all comes down to a cent, a poor sense of self. If they don't have the confidence in themselves, they don't like themselves. They are comparing themselves to social media,

15:26to stuff that's fake, to other children. And nobody quite knows whether it's real or not. So they're constantly trying to measure up to something that is impossible. And what again strikes me is that this is something that costs, it's, it is drug-free. It doesn't require huge amounts of equipment. It doesn't require, well I was gonna say it doesn't require huge amounts of time. What it does is it requires consistency because the more consistent you are, the more it becomes second nature. And so why wouldn't it be widely used? So when we come back after the break, I want to hear how you two met. And we've got plenty of time. So we'll have the Honor Bridge story. And then I want to talk about the next generation and why engaging children and through them, their parents, their teachers, their carers, that if everybody used the principle of affirmations,

16:30I believe we would live in a very different world. Oh yes. Don't go away, we'll be back in just a minute. Hi, it's Tori DeBito. In every family, small conversations can make a big impact, like when my dad shared his experiences as an alcoholic. You're honesty about that part of your life gave me a sense of integrity that I wanted to uphold in my own life. I wanted you to know from someone who's been in recovery more than 30 years now, that hard work is what creates success. Not alcohol or other drugs. I said it a lot and I'm glad you took it to heart. Talk, they hear you. For more information, visit underagedrinking.samsa.com. Welcome back. Before the break, he put me off because he said that there was a really good story in terms of how the two of you met. Now, I know pressure, but you're not to disappoint me and my listeners, please. So let's hear the story. I promise I won't. I had just gotten out of a really bad relationship in 2006. And so I was living in Maine, that's where I grew up.

17:32And I was very unhappy there. And I was talking with a friend of mine who is also a speaker, a good friend of mine and we had spoken on different stages in Las Vegas and other places like that. And so I was talking on the phone with him. And I was basically saying, Scott, I'm really not happy here and I got to get out of here. I just want to live someplace warm. He goes, well, why don't you move here to Ohio? And I said, I said, warm, Scott, warm. Maybe you didn't hear me there. But anyway, so he literally said, why don't you move here to Ohio? It'll be fun. And I'm here in my hand. I'm going Ohio fun. Ohio fun. I'm not getting this, but something inside of me. The reputation of Ohio has certainly changed. It's just like sort of there. But I mean, fun, not so much. It was, I don't know. But anyway, but there was something inside of me that just said, do it. Just say, just move to Ohio. And if you ever had that feeling, it doesn't make any sense in your head,

18:32but in your heart or your gut, wherever it is, it's just something you're higher self, you're intuition. And that's what happened to me. It was just like this message. And it was like, move to Ohio. I'm like, okay. So, you know, I packed up my car and I moved here in 2007. Now I knew one person, my friend Scott. Yeah. Well, after I moved here, I literally was sitting here and I was going, why am I here? I said to God, what am I doing here? This doesn't make any sense. I don't really want to be here. Well, three weeks after moving here, Scott introduced me to a friend of his, that friend introduced me to this gorgeous blonde that bet and we have been together ever since. So, that is the story. So, what's the message for people listening? What does this mean for you? It means that sometimes things don't make any sense in your head, but listen to your heart, listen to your gut, listen to that intuition when it doesn't make any logical sense. And sometimes miracles can happen.

19:33I think that's so true. And we live in such busy, noisy worlds that it's sometimes very difficult to actually recognize that feeling, that little voice that's saying, it doesn't make any sense, but do it anyway. And it's your proof that it's actually worthwhile because I had, in front of me, a gorgeous couple who were obviously very, very happy. Yeah, we know. And children are very important to me. I was in education for 30 years. I now co-found and run a charity that is trying to change the care system change the outcomes for children in the care system in the UK and for caring because their life chances are dreadful. And I do agree with you that if we can get to children very early on and we used to do lots of work with children around self-confidence, I wish I'd had the formula for affirmations. When you decided to write the book, what was your starting point

20:33because you'd got all of this experience and yet we're talking about doing it for children and not for adults. Although I do believe that children adults are just large children. Yes. And I think at times they're more childish than the majority of children, but we won't go there. How did you start it? What was the premise and how does it differ from what you're offering to adults? Well, I'll tell you what. Every single time that I do any keynote speech, anywhere on planet earth for the last 25 years, people have come up to me and have said to me, Noah, this needs to be taught in every school in the country. And I said, yeah, I know. I know that. And so the point is we've been wanting to do this for a long time. That bet it was that bet's idea that we should really do this children's book. And she's been wanting to do this for a long time. And finally, there's a break in my schedule. So I said, let's sit down and do this. So what we did was we started with the idea of

21:36what are children's real struggles today? What are they going through? Because let's face it. As adults, what are we worried? We're worried about money, paying them mortgage, getting groceries and all this stuff, right? I mean, we're talking about adult things, which are boring mostly. Kids don't have to worry about this stuff, but they still have plenty of stuff that they're worried about, right? Kids have a lot of pressures, as you were just talking about from social media and so forth. And so that's what we really focused on. So in the book, there are five stories, which really encapsulate what millions and millions of children are going through every single day. For example, we have one story is about a kid who feels lonely, and he's saying to himself, why don't I have any friends? Another is a girl who doesn't feel safe. That was me when she's not at home. She doesn't want to go to school. And she's like, why don't I want to go to school? Or why can't I just stay home? Then we have another student or a child in the story

22:39who, whenever they take a test, they have test anxiety. Another one is with bullying, and another one is it just not feeling good enough? So you see, these are really universal issues when it comes to kids, but I mean, let's face it in adults too, of course. So the book we really wrote for the children, of course, but as importantly, for the parents, the teachers and the caregivers. There's a curriculum. Because yes, so we have created, when you go to the website, when you go to, and it's, I ask, betterquestions.com, or easier remember, that's a dialogue book, I ask better questions. When you go there, we have provided four free teachers, lessons plans, and for parents, you know, that they can literally walk through the book, the lessons of the book with their kids. So for parents, for teachers, for caregivers, as well as for the children. So we really made this as universal as possible, but really focused on the children what they're going through today. You know, we live in incredibly challenging times, I think.

23:43And I know that every age has had its challenges and that they have different, different. But the rate of change, we live in a world where, the opportunities to communicate have never been greater and yet the amount of true communication, which is going on has never been less, in my opinion. With your stories, where have you pitched them age-wise, and how within the stories have you engaged the children who are listening or reading the story, depending on their age and their ability, how are you hooking them in? Because one of the things we hear so much now is that kids are so much on their phone and their computer. The love of reading is something that is reducing. So let's talk about the book and then perhaps talk about are there plans for it to become a cartoon or a film or whatever. But with the book, how are you booking kids in?

24:44Well, it's talking about the feelings that they're going through, like the lonely, the kid that takes the teddy bear, that was me when I was little, you know what I mean? My son was afraid to take test because he would, once he's taken the test, he just blanked, everything went blank. So it's a book that kids can relate to and even though that age group is not on their cell phones, you know, maybe where their parents are, but this is a time that the parents can engage with the kids and also they can learn each other about each other and ask each other questions. Maybe that could be at the dinner table. They do affirmations, you know, what happened today? What's your affirmation today? And that way it's letting the parent get into the child's head and also for, it's a time breaker for them to, or the parents to engage with their children. And also for how, you know, maybe the kids have an affirmation for, you know, mom, dad, what's your affirmation?

25:47You know, maybe they had a hard day and why is it so easy to take time to spend time with your kids? You know, something so easy, but it's great for all ages. I mean, there's parents that are using Noah's eye forms, his affirmations for their little babies that's not even can talk. Now I can see how this would work in a school situation in terms of, you know, their personal social education, lessons and so on. On your website, have you, you talk about the fact that there are things there for teachers? Yes. Have these been tried out? You know, have you, are there schools who are actually piloting this at all? We have a lot of stories that have been told to me over the years about parents and teachers who have used my affirmations with their children, with their students. So this is the first formalized way that we've presented it. So we've been wanting to do this for a very long time,

26:49but yeah, we have a lot of stories that people have just told me over the years. So this is the first formal way. So one of the things that I know, because my mom was a teacher, you know, so I'm a big fan of teachers, we know that one of the things they love is lesson plans. You know, they love lesson plans. So I have, it's been a lot of time, creating a very formal lesson plan for teachers. So they can literally just go to the website, get it for free, there's no cost, and they can just print it out, you know, go down with the, you know, the copier in the office and just print it out and you can use this every morning with your students. So, you know, the typical grades here is grades one through five. So what they, remember this is a worldwide audience. So what age group would be one through five? Basically age five through 10, right? But age five through 10. So primary school in it? Yes, primary school, exactly. Correct. So we say, you know, K through five here in the US. But we are also, by the way, and I'll see this here,

27:53but we are coming out with a middle grade book for little older students. I'll be coming out later this year, and it's called the Chosen Series. So I've already started writing that book. And that's going to be a whole series for middle graders. Very excited about that. So I can't tell you how many parents and teachers over the years, Gina, have told me, beg me to write this book. You know, when is this book coming out? And as I stated, you know, I've been a little busy. So, you know, I had a break in the schedule this year and that's why we're so thrilled to bring this out for, of course, the children, but really, I feel just as importantly, the parents and the teachers and giving them the tools that they really need. So I think it'd be at the breakfast table. If you're a parent, you're at the breakfast table. What's your affirmation for today? Why am I enough? That's beautiful. And also, there's exercises for the teachers to do with the kids in their classroom. One of the exercises we call it a shine wall, meaning shine like a star, right? So we want kids to understand the different ways

28:53that they shine. That's one of the stories we have is one of the, you know, one of the kids in the story didn't feel like she was enough. And so she realized that not only was she enough, but she can help other kids find why they're enough and we call it the shine wall exercise. So that's something that any parent, any teacher on planet Earth can do and it really doesn't cost anything. It's an interesting one, isn't it? Because ultimately, getting children, one of the things I did when I was a teacher or a principal is I would often use the children to teach the parents, how to talk to your mom and dad about how to behave a concert, for example, or a football match. Because that way, we knew that they would get the message because the child would want their parent not to show them up. But I can see that this also has a great opportunity to engage a family in a really meaningful way when so many families are short of time.

29:56You're listening to this and it doesn't matter what age you are, whether you have children or not. Think about your life. Think about how often that voice in your head is telling you you're not enough that there is something negative, that there is something missing and think about how you can change that. And we're gonna go for another break in a minute. And when we come back, I want to broaden the conversation now from the children's book to looking at our world as it is and how challenging the world is. The different ways that people can use affirmations as adults because ultimately if they model the behaviors and that becomes a natural part of who they are, they will naturally do it with their children. And I don't want people who haven't got children to feel that, well, we're missing out here because ultimately this is something for everyone. So don't go away when we come back. We're going to look at how affirmations

30:56can change your life. Don't go away. Brushwood, Media Network. We are Lions International, one association of global volunteers, one foundation for humanitarian grants, shaping the future, one act of kindness at a time. We are on a mission to improve health and well-being, to strengthen communities, to serve a world in need. We are Lions International. To learn more, visit lionsclubs.org. Welcome back, bearing in mind that I am certainly in my lifetime. I don't know a time when there's been more people who are depressed, who are living in a place of fear, who are at odds with other people, polarisation, aggression, as people are worried about changes and the rate of change and the economy and all of those things.

31:57The worry, for me, is that the more we focus on all of that negativity, the more it appears to grow. And if we want to change things, we have to start with ourselves. So I'm giving you a magic wand. And your magic wand is, OK, now you have an opportunity to talk to millions of people, to give them an insight in perhaps a little more detail about how they can use affirmations to help them live their best life. Well, I love that you're bringing this up, Gina, and you're absolutely right. We do live in very challenging times, very trying times, and frankly, very scary times for many people. One of the things that's scaring millions of people right now is AI going to take my job. Absolutely. That's a huge fear for millions of people. And frankly, a correct fear, because it already is, according to my studies, 491 people are losing their jobs every day to artificial intelligence.

32:57So that's one of the things that I'm helping my adult clients with is how to become, as I call it, never replaceable, to become the leader that AI cannot replace. So that is, of course, another conversation. But the point is that our formations, now keep in mind that I've written 25 books for adults here. So when you go to my website, when you go to knowestanejohn.com, you'll see a lot of resources for adults. This, of course, is a resource for children, parents, and teachers. So believe me, I'm not leaving the adults out. We got plenty of stuff for adults in terms of AI, in terms of affirmations, in terms of power habits, and all of the things that have helped my clients add over $3 billion over the last 30 years. So it's very crucial that we understand something that I want to bring up something you mentioned earlier in our conversation, which is about taking action. See, one of the things that gets people very excited when they learn my app formations method, when I teach it to them, whether my books

33:57or my seminars or coaching or keynote speeches, they really get excited because number one, it's easy. Number two, it works. Number three, it's effective. Number four, it's life changing. And you can literally feel the difference in seconds between why am I not good enough? Why can't I do anything right to why am I enough? You can absolutely feel the change in your mind and body instantly. And yes, it is very real. This isn't woo woo, this is science. And so the point is that you need to take action. This isn't a magic bullet. This isn't about saying, for example, why did I make a million dollars by next Tuesday and then you sit around watching TV, expecting a million dollars to show up in your bank account? Doesn't work that way. Be nice if it did. It wasn't that nice. But not be nice, right? So it does feel magical, but this isn't magic. It is science. So you absolutely must take action. So for the children, that's what we did.

34:57In fact, we absolutely show this in the book. For example, Noah is one of the characters and he was lonely, right? He was at school and eating lunch by himself. It's not like anybody, you know, of course it was based on me too, just like bad, bad, based on her. So, you know, I was lonely at school. But so when I started to inform him in the book when the character Noah starts to inform, why is it so easy for me to make friends? We don't make it magic. We say why is it so easy for me to make new friends? But then he takes an action. He goes and talks to a student that he was afraid to talk to before. You see? We're literally showing the children and yes, showing the adults too that just because you're a formating doesn't magically make things happen. Yes, you're a form. That's the beginning. That's the foundation, which is what I've been teaching for 30 years now. That's the foundation. It's a beautiful foundation and it's the right foundation. But you still have to take the action. You still have to, frankly, bust through your fears. You still have to step through those fears to do that thing that you thought you couldn't do before.

36:01And that's what we're showing that kids have that resiliency they can have and build that confidence to know that they can overcome these things that they thought they couldn't do. Well, guess what? It's the same for us as adults. So if you're scared, AI's going to take your job, okay, you can sit there with your fear or you can do something about it. You can take the action. You can become never replaceable. So those are just some very simple examples of how we help people to take action no matter what your agent. It's interesting. But I think you're talking about stark and ting with kids between five and 10. So by the time that they're five, they've got a sense of themselves that they have that intellectual capacity to think beyond the literal. But they are still within that first seven years when the Jesuits used to say, give me the child to the age of seven and I'll give you the man. And I think that it is so important that we give young people the tools. We don't know what the world is going to be like

37:02by the time grad homes. But if we give them the tools then, then they can take those into later life. One of the things that I think is quite challenging is that something seems to happen around puberty, that children who've been really confident and have navigated things pretty well to the thing. Reach puberty and all bets are off and they find it really difficult to navigate the next part of their lives. Which is why I think it's really great that you're going to do a series for a middle, what do you call it in a very... Middle graders. Middle graders, thank you. What does it do think that happens? Why is it that kids who've been very confident who would still benefit from affirmations? But actually, I've got it really sewn up. Then find it very difficult to maintain that during those teenage years.

38:04Why don't you answer that as a mom? You had to go through this with your kids. Okay. I think the affirmations, well, in our second book that we're going to be doing, it addresses those issues, peer pressure, they go into this, why isn't anybody chatting with me on their phone, like, you know, Marcy or whoever, you see what I mean? They're not part of the group. So that's, we're addressing those issues that the middle school kids will be having in those books. So it is a different time in puberty and hormones are changing and all that stuff. But I think if they, once they get the affirmations and they incorporate that and have that be part of their DNA, this is going to help them with their situations. And I think also just, you know, when you're entering puberty, of course, you're noticing the opposite sex, right? I mean, when you're a little kid, you don't, you don't really know.

39:06I mean, boys and girls are like, I'm not saying all the same pretty much. But then when you get a certain age, you're like, oh, wait, that's different. Hmm, that's, what's that? And so you're like, wait a minute. And so the whole issue of popularity comes in, you know, in my popular, why aren't I popular? How come someone's those more popular than me? And so that is an enormous pressure for that age group. And I would argue that basically doesn't really end. I mean, I thought my clients for years that all of life is basically ice cool. I mean, it doesn't really end, especially not with social media. So we're always comparing ourselves in usually not in a good way. So I mean, that, so I think it just as the child gets older, they do have more pressures added to them, which is unfortunate. But there's certainly, you know, that's why using outformations can help the amount of what exactly they can use the rest of their life. I, let me just say this real quick, if I'm Agina, that, you know, I discovered outformations when I was 30 years old in 1997.

40:07So one of the things that I say to my audience members all the time, my coaching clients is, if I had known about outformations when I was seven, instead of at age 30 when I discovered them, I'd probably be a gazillionaire by now, you know, because I had 30 years, three decades of asking really lousy questions. And in fact, that very point led me to almost take my own life at the age of 25. I've shared this on your show before that, you know, when I was 25, I made the decision to commit suicide to take my own life. Now, fortunately, at the last moment, my life was spared. But the point is you can't get any more negative than deciding to commit suicide, which I did. So the point is for all the parents and teachers and caregivers listening, that that is the point of this book, is to make sure that the child, your children, the next generation, doesn't have to go through those years and decades of head trash that I did, and of course, millions of others have had to.

41:09So just looking at it that way, you go, wow, this really has the ability to change lives and to change the world. Where can people find the book? The website is very simple, easy to remember. I ask betterquestions.com. Just like it sounds. I ask betterquestions.com. Of course, it's sold on Amazon. If you're just going to Amazon and search, I ask better questions. Or you can just Google my name, Noah St. John, or Bebet St. John. You can go to Noah St. John.com. That is our main website. And of course, you can see all the different resources we have from my adult books to coaching and training, consulting, keynote speaking, and so on. But I ask betterquestions.com for the book and for all the resources that I talked about for parents and teachers. Again, those are free. And as well as the book and all the other resources. I like to say some real quick. I'm one of his coaches. And I've helped a lot of parents get closer to their kids.

42:09So when the kids were shut off to the parent or the parent show off to the kid, I've helped get them together. And that was a big part of it was the affirmations and his power habit system. I think that's a really powerful point that you make, Bebet, because if I go back to my own childhood and I'm getting on, I have to say, it was unusual for moms to go out to work. Many moms stayed at home, at least until children were a certain age. But the pressures now for people to pay the mortgage means that both parents have to work, work long hours. There are so many constraints. And I think it's very easy for parents and children to lose that close contact. And the kids have got their electronics, they've got their own team. I mean, we used to have to negotiate which TV program we would watch, because we had one TV. We had a phone, which was on a Wurly Code in the hall.

43:09Phone calls were much shorter in the winter than they were in the summer, because there was no heating. But pair and we sat down every night and we ate meal together. When I left my school as principal as head teacher and we're now talking about over 20 years ago, I did a survey and then only two thirds of the school and I had a school of 500 children had a dining room table. And I suspect it's far less now. Yeah. And that time when families sit and talk rather than being involved in anything else, I think is such precious time, which has got lost. And I think that conversation around what your affirmations are for today gives parents some tools, because I think many parents don't know how to talk to their kids. Correct. Correct. And so you give people a common language to use. And so I'm really urging if you're listening to this and you've got kids, think about how often

44:10wear your touch points with your kids. Are your touch points about nagging them because they haven't done their homework or their bedroom's untidy? Or are they actually a touch points where the two of you communicate about something meaningful and something that's enjoyable for both of you? We're going to go for our last break now, but we've not finished, so please don't go away. When the timeless protection of ADT is safe to say, hey, Google, unlock the front door. When you've helped save more lives than any other home security brand, it's safe to say. There's a reason millions of people trust ADT to help protect what matters most. Welcome back. I want to go back to the children's book for a minute, because one of the things that strikes me, as I said earlier, that many children perhaps don't find reading as enjoyable or as exciting as they used to. Have you got plans for this to become anything other than a text book? Because it just seems to me that it would make a great animation or a great film.

45:12Yes. Oh, we've got big plans, Gina. Absolutely. All of the above. Yes, and so I'm already talking with different people in the industry, friends of mine and different acquaintances about how we can get this here, because you're absolutely right. We want to hit them with all media, the TV radio, movies, books, and all of the above. So yeah, absolutely. And to reiterate something I said, again, we have the other middle grade for kids of a little bit older coming later this year. Very excited about that. But yeah, I mean, we do. We need to hit them and just be able to be with them where they are. But I won't say that because, of course, this is available on the Kindle Reader. Millions of kids and parents and teachers have a Kindle Reader. They can read it right on their device, on their phone, on their iPad or what have you. So that's a really great way to do it. And by the way, Beth and I are also going out and doing speaking engagements.

46:13So we come into the school and we read either the whole book or excerpts from the book. But we're really, our job is to empower the parents, the teachers and the children. And what's really great is that they get it. The kids just totally get it. They're so smart and they just get it. And they're like, oh my gosh, this really is so cool. That's the number one thing we hear. That's so cool. I'm like, yeah, it really is cool, isn't it? So we love sharing this and it's just very exciting. Also, I got to say something here. I was reading the book to a couple of adults and one of them was a guy and he cried saying, that was me because he thought nobody was listening to him. And here, they were all engaged in their own thing that he didn't feel heard. Yeah, he didn't feel heard. So he just shunned inside. So it, you know, it touched in that deeply. Yeah, he started crying. Yes. I think for most people, one of the greatest gifts

47:13that you can give them is that sense of being seen and heard. That's right. So they are authentically. That's right. And I think if you can give parents, carers and teachers the opportunity to do that in a constructive way that you are giving them the opportunity to give that gift. I also think, you know, as we've talked with the show, how many people, when you get to them as adults, you've got so much remedial work to do, so much baggage to untie, that if you can actually get to them before they start to... That's right. This portmanteau with all of the negatives, how much easier it is to live their life. Yes. But what strikes me is, you know, I've worked with... I coach and mentor and train, is that you give people tools and they use them and then something happens. And you know, sometimes they forget that they've got this toolbox. And so having it as a family situation means that there's always somebody around who can say, you've forgotten how about.

48:16That's right. Which is, I think, a really, a really good, good thing. Have you got a structure for your middle school series? Oh, yeah, I've got it all mapped out. I am so excited about it. And it's called the Chosen Series. And the lead character is a girl in sixth grade. And we actually walk through sixth, seventh, and eighth grade with her and her group of friends. And she teaches them, you know, my outformations method. So I get to be these different characters, you know, in terms of just teaching them these, how to use my outformations method, but really seeing their growth, I've got all mapped out. I am so excited about this. And actually, these books here for kids are my first fiction books. All of my other 25 books were nonfiction for adults, how to make money, how to be successful, how to conquer the world. But I'm so excited about these. I love writing these stories because, of course, humans have been telling stories for thousands of years.

49:17And that's how we humans, you know, communicate. And it's through story. So I'm just so excited about these. I can't wait for these to come out. I can't wait to share them with you and your audience, Gina. Brilliant, thank you. I look forward to that. Tell me how, because I'm an author, I've got many, many books, but I've always done it as a solo occupation. And it just strikes me that writing a book as an author on your own has its challenges, but it's a very clear cut. I want this to go in the book. I put it in the book. It's done. How are the two of you work together? How has, you know, what's the structure in terms of how you two have operated in order to co-author these things? What is it? We bounce off each other really well. Yes. And we actually listen to each other's reason why, you know. And what situation is this going to address? What real life situation is this addressing? And so we do, we compliment each other really well.

50:19Well, she gets full credit for just the existence of this book in this series, because even though I wanted it, I probably wouldn't have sat down and have flipped my own devices. I was busy doing other things, and she's like, no, we've got to get this children's book out. And I'm like, okay, honey. So she gets full credit for that, and I give her full credit. And really the whole, how the book is laid out was really came from her idea. I'm very good at writing books and at flushing them out and seeing the big picture. And she's really good at saying, I think we need to bring more of this aspect in, you know, so the kids can get more of this. I'm like, that's a good point, honey. And so it's very, it's a heck of a lot. I enjoy it. I love writing. I've been, since I was a kid, I've been writing, I love writing, but that was my dream to be a writer. When I was a kid, you know, most kids want to be a baseball player and astronaut of fireman, I want to be a writer. So hey, I'm living my dream, but I'm sure enjoying this even more

51:20to be able to share it with her. It's just interesting looking at the process that's going on. So truth's now a bit. How often do you need to get the whip out to actually get them in line in order to do this? I've put on the tears, now I just can. No, he's easy. I mean, he listens to me. That's the real thing. And, you know, we have each other's backs, so. She's very insightful when it comes to human beings, when it comes to emotions, because she's a mom. I'm not a mom. So she has that experience that I'll never have. And so I listened to her and I say, okay, I wouldn't have thought of that way, but you know what, that's a great point, honey. That's really smart. And so her insights are absolutely key to this book and the series. But I love his affirmations. I love the mission. It's an amazing concept and method that can change the world. So that's what we're trying to do.

52:20Now, you're a mom and a grandma. And I know that there are many situations where parents have one idea that having should be and grandparents have something very different. And I have friends where grandparents are now, you know, they're buying the noisy drum for a Christmas present and, you know, and see that their job is to give their children, the grandchildren a good time, rather than being the disciplinarian. When you look at the difference between being a mom and being a grandparents, what for you are the challenges for each of these groups in terms of working collectively together? I would say I'm very calm. And so I look right at her. And not, I mean, I was calm with my kids too. But there's an extra like come here, you know, and I'll pick them up and really look at them and talk to them like I did my kids. I don't know how to explain what I'm trying to say.

53:22I, well, let's put it this way. If I may, there's a lot of kids out there that of course are, you know, kind of acting out a lot. Rats, shall we say. And her, even though I wasn't there at the time, you know, I know her kids never did that. Because she is a very, you can just tell by how she is, she's very calming influence, a very grounded, very centered. And she exudes that to both her children and her grandchildren. And that comes across to them and they get that from her. Oh, I got to say this thing. You know, like when you're at the store or a restaurant and the kid, my kids didn't act up because I wouldn't allow it. So when they want to, no, I want this, I would look at them and say, I love you, but I'm leaving now. And I would turn around and walk and they're right there on my legs. So I have twin daughters and a son. So I was doing double, you know, picking them up the same. I never treated one different from the other.

54:23They're 10 years apart. The twins were first girls and then my son. So they were like, they were 10 when I had my son. So they're like two more mothers. But what the twins, because, you know, they're calm, they were very calm, it's because I was calm. So when most parents are stressing out, you know, the kid is reacting how the parents are. Yeah. And they're feeding off that energy. Yes. So when you give that calming energy, that's what they, that's very calm. And I would say like in a stressful situation like that, I would, I would look at them and say, well, I love you, but I'm going. So come with me or stay here. And they would, they were just tugged along with me. So I think I made a statement, a, a, you know, you're giving clear boundaries on to. And then there are consequences if, if those boundaries aren't met. Right. Sadly, a lot of parents don't do that today.

55:24And as well, well, they use what I call the Tescos or the Sainsbury's version of the word no. Right. Those are two big supermarkets in the UK. And no means if you keep long, long enough, it's, oh, mum, can I have some sweets? No, mum, can I have some sweets? No, mum, can I have some sweets? Oh, all right, then. Right. And then they give them. That's right. It's easy. That's right. But actually, you pay the price a lot. That's right. Sadly, we're out of time. Now, no one knows that I invite each of my guests to choose one of four themes we belong to an organisation called B1G1 that uses kindness as part of the branding. So the four themes are then the umbrella themes for many, many projects around the world, which are run by the organisation by one give one. And they're well-vetted. Every penny, every cent goes to the, the programme. And I'm inviting you and you can have a choice each.

56:24Clean water, education, health, and reaffirming station. And we will donate on your behalf as a thank you for being on the show. So what would you like, go ahead, Annie? I would like health and education. You can have one. Oh, sorry. You can have clean water, health, education, or reaffirming station. Education. OK, and Noah? I was going to say education, too. Can we both do what you're doing? You both have education. Let's do it. Let's have more. And remember, just by listening to the show, you're making a difference because we donate meals to the hungry based on the number of listeners. So do please spread the word. And if you're a business, remember, it's a great way of using kindness as part of your branding. It just remains for me to say to you, if you'd like a copy of my free leadership blueprint, leading yourself, leading others, then just email me at Gina Gardner and friends at gmail.com and put blueprint in the subject line

57:25and I'll send you a free PDF. I'd love to know what you think about the show. Just put that in the body of the email. I'd love to hear from you. Gina Gardner, G-I-N-A, G-A-R-D, I-N-E-R, the word and the word friends at gmail.com. And finally, if you're a great musician and you'd like four of your tracks played and an opportunity to have a formal interview about your musical journey, complete the form. Gina Gardner, tomorrow'stalent.com and you could be on the show. I look forward to hearing from you. Thank you so much for being on the show. I look forward to hearing more about those books when they are the middle school books when they're published. Thanks for listening. See you on the next show. Thanks for listening to Gina Gardner and friends. The show that helps you live a happier, more successful and fulfilling life. To learn more about Gina Gardner, go to genuinely-u.com. If you would like to work with Gina or book her as a speaker, email her at gina at genuinely-u.com.