Getting through to your Child

Which gets through to your child better---talking or listening? That's a trick question. The answer depends on how your child's doing. If he is having problems, listening is better, specifically active listening. Active listening helps your child know their feelings, lower their emotional fever, and bring all their resources to bear on working things out. If he is not having problems and life is just moving along, talking is better. You can instruct, direct, and share your wisdom. You use "check-in" comments to gauge how he's doing, and then bask in the opportunities for teachable moments. Listening opens your child's heart up to figure problems out. Talking gives your child opportunity to expand his knowledge base hanging out with you.