Gerard McGowan & Alex Hudson- Special Comedy Festival Edition

0:00Phone hack. Sweet. Today. Reading Dean, you guys are kings. Welcome to a special edition of the Phone Hacks podcast. We're doing a trial, Rohan. Ah. Well, we're just... Jesus Christ. Wow. The result. This guy has really, really done some improv before. He hasn't bothered me at all. Yes, and... Let's stop now. Let's just stop it. Let's just stop the trial. No, we don't want to... We're all about to come up for the comedy festival. All of them. And... Oh, yeah, yeah. Just me. And, yeah, so we just thought, I will just put out a small podcast a day of our friends, just so they can promote their shows. And you can go see them at a comedy festival. You can see them. Because they probably need it. You know, like a lot of them are just friends and not that funny. Speaking of that. Yeah. We've got Alex Hudson there. Woo! I want to really quickly say, let's not promise one a day. Just...

1:00Just more often than usual. Yeah, more often than usual. Yeah, that's true, man. That's true to Alex. There could be... There could be two weeks or there's not. Yeah. Please throw a go together regularly. Are you sprouting for friends or what? Yeah. Like, kind of, honestly. We're both here to really lonely point in our lives. Yeah, yeah. This is podcasts all the time. Let's just do it all the time. I have one and there is ten for this. Oh. All right. How far are you fucking held in? How you fucking held in? How happy! How dare you shoot a gun at the dentist Christ? I'm like, wow, is this a gym? Yeah. Yeah. Well, sorry. Well, could you, like, just sort of rest it? We could rest it on something for you. I'll hold it in front of you. I'll hold it in front of you. I'm sorry. I got another one. I saw you, okay. I'll be fine. I'm probably playing about it all the time. Why did it between your teeth or something? Yeah. Yeah. We provide solutions, you know, spying a James Bond review. So what's been up, mate? You just got into Melbourne.

2:02I just got into Melbourne. And you were late because you're in some... You said what you're in some primary school protest? Yeah. It's just protesting to go live back into primary school. You'd be there. She went there. She went there. What do you mean you didn't teach her? You can't even... Look at you, you can't even go home. You can't be so angry and you're like, Oh, there was just adults there. Primary school teachers are the worst kind. Yeah. My girlfriend's a primary school teacher. Oh, they're really lovely. Yeah, yeah. My kindergarten teacher made us a cake for me and my trip to Verte. And it was in the shape of a six. So for each of us? Yeah, okay. So it was six. Six. She was like 80 years old. Spawner of devil. She knows about six, six, six, four or anyone. Yeah, absolutely. I'm from tomorrow, so it's also two triple six. So like where we are, we are the devil.

3:03Yeah, anyway. So it made... Yeah, the protest was sick. It was to raise the pay of teachers. Yeah, but my dad's a public school teacher. So I was angry for a second time. Because it was always the worst whenever he strikes. He'd come home. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like, finally, I get to spend some time with the kids. They are. Yeah, okay. We've got Alex Hudson on the news. My dad needs you to get paid. Yeah. That's what I should do. Get all the kids to teachers. They should pay more and they should work seven days away. They should not have holidays. They should have night school. Yeah, that's cool. Oh, the way public school teachers carry on, they do have night school. Yeah. Well, I just want to... Yeah. Yeah, it's cool. It's cool. Your dad, like, you probably needs an investment property or something going. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, because you and I did a tour together, one of those road show tours, and you said something very funny to me, but we've kind of got it. Doesn't sound like... We got it.

4:03We got to dance around it a little bit. What? No. Well... This is the trial. You can say whatever you want. Well, to give context, because, you know, Hado, you do have cerebral palsy. Yes. And then you got off doing a spot. Wow. And you go... And I was following you. It's very... It was very funny. I just said you were more disabled than me. Yeah. That was the most disabled, non-disabled, um, comedy tour I've ever been on. For a group of non-disabled people, who else was in the crew? I guess it was Hagi. Oh, wait. Yeah. Yeah. Kappa, me, um, Doggan, and Danielle Walker. Yeah. Okay. And Dan Simpson. Yeah. What's up? Okay. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. So it's like a parade of red necks. Yeah. And alcohol was... And you. Sometimes you are going...

5:03It was special. Yeah. These showcase things, and everyone keeps to themselves, and they're hotel rooms, and, you know, there's not much drinking, which you guys were doing that thing, where you put buckets on your head, and run into each other. Yeah. Out in the parking lot. Yeah. Out in the parking lot. Yeah. Yeah. But I know it's got a real, real mean headbutt. She doesn't... You can't get bunch of a run-up. Well, you can't get brain damage again. I think that's how it works. Yeah, definitely. Yeah. It's like you've been vaccinated against brain damage. But it was so funny, dude, because, you know, usually when... I love comics that you can just muck about with. Yeah. You can always just muck in. And I was, like, walking onto this. Like, it was a decent-sized show, and with dongle or something. Yeah. And then you said that right before I walked on. And I was cracking up. And then I was kind of laughing as I walked on. And it kind of looked like, I'm going to be so funny. Yeah.

6:03You're thinking of your own material, this question. Yeah, he's got so full of it. Wait till I see this one. I don't know. You don't think it's just come over you and you're like, I'm going to say this thing. Absolutely. Yeah. Do you remember, another time, you don't feel like, went straight from brain to mouth, was when we were like... Oh, I was going to not say, but yeah. We did this, like, stupid, two-week internship on his show, question everything. Oh, yeah. And at one point, he was just giving this, like, he would, like, hold court and, like, start just, like, pontificating on things and then people would, like, gather around and listen to him. And, like, he's going on about how survivors, like, one of the best shows ever. And he's being, like, it's been fun for 40 seasons, and they still keep it fresh. I watch it to get ideas for how to keep growing transfer fresh. Yeah.

7:03Alex just, like, burst out laughing when he said that. And, like, he, like... And I think to be fair, you thought he was joking, because of course... That's like an absurd thing to say. So, you're on internship. Yeah. He's an internship. Yeah. Yeah. Is pontificating. And then he says, like, yeah, survivor's good. I get ideas for it. And then you just burst out laughing at his face. Yeah. Yeah. And then he's like... I was just like, I love that. And then he goes, like, why is that funny? And he's just sort of trying to explain to him. And he's like, oh, because it's... Survivor. You do this, like, comedy panel show about ads and shit. And then he's like, yes, survivors are really good show. It just looks like... Very angry, are you? You were so much better at keeping things in. Like, I don't think we'll see. Well, I would just show you that gift from the Simpsons of... Mealhouse. Mealhouse saying, hey, everybody an old man is talking.

8:04Everybody's talking. They're keeping speeches. He went on this huge rant about how Seinfeld is terrible at comedy. Oh, right. Yeah. Just like... Should we be writing this down? Yeah. It's probably the internship. I was like, when do we learn? No. Oh, that's fun. I remember... Do we have Blobster, one of those things? I think we did it one more time. Yeah. The food was good. We had good ABC. Boxster. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I've worked on a couple ABC productions of food. Oh, I just fucking love stuff. Yeah. I want to... I want to... Okay. Okay. Will Anderson called them survivor style by building his own fishing. Yeah. The ABC is just survivor. Yeah. That's just a big robot of Jeff. There's a lot of Jeff probes in the fucking lobby. There's another big turn. And they're like, I think Rohan is forming a line. Yeah. We definitely have a line.

9:04Yeah, there was an alliance there for sure. And they were like enemies. And I've been... It's got an injury, Dennis. It's sleeping under a tent. Really sure. Yeah. Yeah. That was definitely... They were enemies and they won conclusively. We definitely lost that fight. We didn't even try. Yeah. Peter, I haven't been asked back. How about you? No, neither. I think the show's canceled. I don't know. It'd be so funny if you're like, uh... Yeah, just trying to get jokes on, but you're trying to make them survivor. You're like, wow. Actually, what, guys? What if this... For this ad for Toyota? What if Will is seeing, like, in front of a camera fire? He just tried to stay on the show. And then they met at Unity Idol, and we gave one of us a good team. What if there's a bad ad? And you go, this ad is as bad as Seinfeld. What if we made that... That Todd guy climb a fucking big rope or something? Yeah. Oh my god.

10:04Yeah. Oh, that's so funny. That's great. It was great. Yeah. Yeah. No, that's... But anyway. So you're doing a show in the festival? I'm doing a show. Fuck yeah. Yeah. It's called King of the Car Park. King of the Car Park. I like that. I got a fire I get into in a car park. Well, really? Yeah, actually. Yeah, actually. Can you... Oh, I suppose it's spoiler territory. I was gonna say, did you win the fight, but people will have to win. Yeah, I did. Okay. Oh, yeah. Cool. Fuck yeah. Yeah. Why is this spoiler territory? I don't care. Mother, four people have four tickets to my show. I'm listening to this podcast. Yeah. Yeah. And one of those four people are listening to this. Oh my god. Oh my god. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's 20 people come to watch it and they go, I go, I go. I've already... You went to the spot. I went to the fight. Walk it. I'll just get up and walk it out. They're riding it on your post-its. And it's all over the end. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There is no King of the Car Park. Well, well, it's on the back,

11:04and it's just funny to sign, Phil. Wow! Yeah. Jack propped is that? Yeah. Yeah. You voted out. Get it. Oh. They're like, cripple island. Can we do that? Yeah. Just able to survive, maybe a billion dollar, I didn't know that. Survival of the unfitter. Survival of the unfitter is the show me and cap her own. It's just out of shapes, slubs. The first challenge was the sand. The big challenge is there's a bowl of chips on this table. You can't eat any of them. Everyone's just sitting around and they're like, how do you get an Nintendo Switch in here? Several of our gummies in Nintendo Switch say overall power banks. Cap her is watching heat for the third time. Under a fucking palm tree.

12:05He's using it for heat. They've somehow hooked up to some satellite internet to still watch porn. It doesn't even make sense in an island. That's how the government could rescue you. You didn't create your account. There's like two alliances on the island. One's Lily Phillips, the other one's Bonnie Blue. I only know one of them. She's Lily Phillips. She's also has sex with unparalleled money. You know Bonnie Blue, I mean that's I don't know. She's broken through though. Yeah, yeah. She's going to be young. Not as hot. That's not what we already know. She's kind of used up. No, she's broken through. She's a person. You know what I mean? You've played hundreds of people in your voices and broken.

13:06Yeah, that's it. It's just a profession. It's like carpentry or something. Are we going to cut 20 minutes of this? No, no, no. We don't see about half an hour and like, maybe she'll put 10 minutes of the Patreon. We do not edit this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the bitch you like. Yeah, yeah. And what may you live because you're living in Sydney at the moment? I live in Sydney. It's pretty glorious. It's coming from coming from the Northern Rivers. Just also let you know, mate, we will get you back for a full episode. We'll get you in for this one. Just to promote your show and shit. Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you. Yeah, it's fine. Yeah, yeah. So what can people expect with your show? Obviously they can, they've probably seen you stand up online. Maybe, but I do tend to scare people. So what more of that? In what sense? Just like, you know what? No, just me. You go there and it's a ghost trail. No. Like what the hell is this? It's going to try ghost trail here.

14:06Yeah. You come out of the TV at the ring. Yeah. It's like a prop TV. My room is haunted. It's got these pictures of like, like, little kids. It looks like. Really? With no heads. Where is the hotel room? I thought you meant just to your house. I'm going to take them down. And then there's like, all these, it's just weird. They kind of look like X-ray. Like they kind of black and white. That's terrifying. Like, what's that? They kind of glow. These little... What the fuck? They're like portraits of like, little girls' dresses with no light. In black and white. And it glows. Yeah. And I'm like, yeah, they're... Jesus Christ. That's so scary. That's not really weird. You're like, oh, yeah, we can't take them down the hotel when we're lost. So just come in, sit amongst the spirits. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Let's get a good... Oh, that's in your comedy room. Yeah. Oh, I thought those were hotels. Oh, yeah.

15:06Yeah, so that's... Because I wanted to come here and show that I was scared. It is scary. Is that how you scare people or is that just a devil? Well, that is enough. No, but just I think me being a cripple is terrifying to people. Oh, sure. Oh, can we laugh at you? Right. Sure, sure, sure. Oh, I'm not sure. Yeah, yeah. I'm like... I'm just fucking annoying. I just thought it looked as you're ugly. You know what I'm saying? Well, that as well. But you are ugly too. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It is... It is mostly that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Maybe these are my comedies at all. Maybe they're just so like, ah! Well, no, dude, I think it would be a little bit scary, because you're not... Not any of that stuff, I would think. It's just because people think that you're going to be kind of, I guess, submissive and... Yeah. And you're actually quite blunt. Yeah. You also have a very... You're actually a bit of a bitch. But you're so... You have a very, like, friendly... You're so good, man. You have a very friendly voice as well.

16:07I know, it's really weird. Like, even for me, saying the shit I'm sorry, I'm like... Yeah. It's genuinely when you start talking about, like, oh, I'm going to, like, call the cops on, guys, who have sex with me, because it's illegal and shit. Yeah. It's just that they're super friendly voice. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Like, yeah. Now that I've come, you're not allowed to fuck me in Victoria. Well, I'm going after Queen's own after this. Yeah, fuck it. Yeah. But yeah, okay. So you spook people out. I spook people out. And now you're doing it in this haunted room. Yeah, yeah. So I asked for this room specifically, because I'm like, yeah, there are all the cripples of died before me. This is that room. It's weird that we put you in that room. Yeah. And while it's here in the room, they could have died. Yeah. It's accessible. Yeah. So in the room without a welcome to country, because no one wants any claim of ownership over it.

17:08That's what I was talking about. I mean, that's what I was saying. I did a gig with Oliver Hunter last night. Oh, I see. Yeah. He's really funny. Yeah. I prefer his brother, Milff. I saw that joke off someone. Shit. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think it was mine. No, no, no, no. Yeah. Yeah, man. He was talking about... He's so fast. He literally is the best. He's so funny. And he was talking about, like, his new show and stuff is about, like... Melbourne's so woken stuff. Yeah. He's like, so woken. Hey, let's, like, free Palestine and all that stuff. And he's like, hey, how about we do, like, charity being at home? How about before we, like, start putting out all the pride flags and stuff? We just start putting, like, elevators and venues. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's like... They're like, no, not you actually. Yeah. We've got to feed this child in Gaza. You're like, dude, I can't get upstairs. Yeah. Yeah. I'm with them. I think you guys have had a too good for too long.

18:09Yeah, yeah. I think we need to start this disabled survivor show. Me and all of us. Yeah. Maddie. Yeah, that is a very good part of it. Yeah, yeah. But, um, yeah. Well, they're too worked to laugh, I think, is my... Yeah. I think, definitely. Yeah. Yeah. There is stuff where if you make it even more, it's like, this is about me or whatever. I mean, I don't have the same level of bills, whatever. But, like, making you talk about how, like... Speaking of disabled. I have the... Well. Come on, dude. Come on. It's obviously the biggest compliment. Yeah, okay. Thank you, actually. Yeah, yeah. Well, you think I don't like things. Literally, if I call you disabled, it's the biggest compliment. I can give you whatever you want to be funny. I can give you whatever you want to be funny. It'll not tell me anything. Wow. Yeah, dude. Say what? You're down here for the whole two weeks or what? I'm down here for the whole month. Whatever the hell it is.

19:09Yeah. I've got a new month in ages. You'll get your... You're braver than me. Yeah. Yeah, I didn't want to go through all the motions, like... Because in the third week, you just start hating. You show... Yeah. You hate everybody else. You see everyone's accolades. Yeah. You start just spiraling the first two weeks. I'm already doing that. Oh, really? I'm already there. That's why you came down early. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Literally. I've been doing it for a while. It's private for the spiral. I've got it out of the way early, guys. I've already been spiraling. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just kidding. I was on Berksy crying. That's why I was late. Aw. You're too easy. You're trying it there. You're trying it to protest. I'm trying it to protest. Oh, you're okay. I know. I know. I've got Melbourne coming. Yeah. These tickets aren't selling. I'm in a haunted ghost room. I've got four people coming on my first night. Two of them at my CF. It's like, what are you doing here? They're selling. I have two judges out there. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are they early...

20:10Do they judge that early? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, brilliant. They judge certain shows very early. Really? Which is great. Which is great for the people. It's so good. Oh, I can't wait. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Recently, you can see that on... This isn't a plug or anything. But you can check it out if you want to see it. We can plug. This weird experiment on YouTube where my mate and I... We talk over three sets. I did him one night. Okay. And he did comedy a long time ago, like 15 years ago. Yeah. And then one of the gigs I did. And all of you was talk about that there was only eight people in the crowd. Yeah. It's like, I forget. I forget about that stuff. Yeah. I was like, dude, just listen to the jokes. He's like, yeah, but dude, there was only eight people in the crowd. I'm like, man, get over this. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm trial and new material. Yeah. Yeah, but dude, there was only a small amount of people. I'm like, fucking get over it, man. Get over it, right? Yeah, yeah. You don't say that in the theater. No. You know, anyway. When you go see the new Chamolay movie or whatever, Shalamey.

21:12Shalamey. Shalamey. Shalamey. Shalamey sounds like something you wash your car with. And you're also obviously with? Yeah. Oh, fuck. Now, dude, this is the first time I had you on. Yes. What's the, if someone went through your phone or whatever, what would be the thing that you're most scared about of people going through? What? Oh, yeah, I like I'll tell you. Yeah. Yeah. We're not going to go through your phone. Yeah. I mean, unless you wanted us to, but you know, photos, photos, do you? Probably, probably notes would be the most embarrassing. Instagram, explore page. Instagram, explore page. No, you can look at my Instagram, explore pages. Should be like. Are you a pervert on the explore page? Yeah. Yeah. Take. It's mostly cake. It is all cake. Yeah. Why don't even know? Like, I just, that was one. This is one of the sickest perversions.

22:12Oh, this is awesome. What's worth? There is so much cake. I'm noticing they're all like chocolate cakes. I love chocolate cake. But, I've just set up my algorithm. It's all the same type of cake. It logs that BBC, that big brown cake. Put it in me. I don't want to touch the sun. Give me that BBC. What's bad is comedy. This is so you knew about that we were all banned from porn. So now we know that every big time. This is so much cake. I just, I don't even know how I, how I did it. I just wish there was one random thing in there. But it's not one random thing. There's sometimes a little bit of comedy. But not really breaking through is must be truly. Is there anything weird? Oh, there's spaghetti. Great. Still in the food. Yeah. Marcher. Is that much of there? Oh, we're getting into meat now. Oh, another spaghetti. And Miss Piggy interview. This is pretty much the full spectrum of Alex Hodson's personal.

23:16Yeah. I know. I'm not that deep. What about your search history? Anything weird there? Probably. Are you an incognito person? Sometimes. Definitely. Just to get my own self-safe. Yeah. So I forget what I've said. That's a big response. That's a big response. You root for yourself before masturbating. Yeah. You don't want to remember this. Yeah. If I can't remember it, I'd never have to. Just to lobotomize yourself before it. Yeah. Don't have to. Yeah. Perhaps if I've been growing to me. Well, if you like, you can go through... You can go through my search history, if you like, mate. I didn't think it was. And see if there's anything weird. I don't think she wants to. No. No, you can. What's your most embarrassing part of your brain? I haven't seen your discovery page. Yeah. What's your discovery page?

24:16Let's see. Because Rohan, I think you're not a browser of the... I don't think you'd be a pervert on Instagram. No. You're like more of a closet jerk. You're like, it's jerk time. I don't think it's any further than browser. Or man. Or weird little men. Or male comedians. Thank you. Weird little men. Weird little men. Weird little men. You know what? I think I prefer cakes. Weird little men. Weird little men. He's got a lot of weird wings. Weird little men. He's got a lot of weird wings. Weird little men. Oh my god. I'm realizing here is very correct. So many weird little men. She's a weird little man. Weird little men. Yeah. Is that Duncan Trussell? Yeah. There's the guy from fucking... Oh, he's a weird little man. He's a weird little man. He's a weird little man. Oh my god. He's a weird little man. Oh, woman. Yeah. Oh. Hello. Get her off. I don't see women. Oh man. There's a stand-up... God stand-up sad. Weird little men.

25:16Why is it a weird little man? I need to start looking at tits and stuff. Yeah. This is pathetic. Ah. Monies. I really hate that. Yeah. Mon's terrible. Mon's good. I'm tired. Wow. Fitt little man. Wow. Fitt little man dirt bikes. Fitties. Fitties. Oh, there's tits. There's fitties. There's some tits there. Fitties and tits. Heat, too, which is pretty sad. That's really over 40. Wow. There's a weird little man. This is like the prequel, too. Do you know... Someone else looking through this. This is horrifying, by the way. Weird little ribbed man. It's got a lot of motivational shit in there. This guy. There's so much motivational stuff in there. What happened to me? Yeah. It's easier to lose fat than you think. Well, you're a rift Asian guy. What do you know? Yeah, yeah. What are you doing? You got an unfair advantage if you're an Asian guy. You're a rift Asian. Yeah, yeah. Trying to be... Trying to be a chubby wife. An ex-equal steroids.

26:16More weird little man. Yeah. So much stuff. This guy's quite muscular. Is that ready to lead? That is. Also weird little... Oh, a person danced. No. No. Is that a person danced? No, it is. That is a person danced. No, it's not. No, it's not. What the hell? It's someone completely not a... It's not even quiet. It's not a distinctive, distinctively beautiful person. No. Maybe I... It's in East Sweden, I swear. No, it's a UK comedian called Amy Glädhill. Oh, yeah. She's really lovely. The cast and dance of England, right? Yeah. I can tell her one time. Okay. She's in my zeitgeist. Perfect conversation. Yeah. Well, I imagine you invited the people in your... Yeah. You... Yeah. You got to invite your discovery page. Yeah. That was just my goal. Later all weird little man. Mine just all cakes. All cakes. Yeah. You would have the best one by far.

27:16All cakes and one... Little Miss Piggy. Yeah. Now, Hado, you... It's your first time on the show. We haven't got much time left. But mate, I thought if you wanted to... You might want to do a hack. But if you don't want to, that's totally fine. Sure. What's so hard? I mean, it's festival time, you know. It is festival time. You got to promote your show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I just thought... We did this one a couple of weeks ago and I just thought it was funny. It would be funny coming from you. Like, it's not funny coming from us because it was just a bunch of blokes. Okay. Okay. Doing it. But basically... We use you as a sort of... Yeah. We're going to be... A puppet of sorts. Yeah. Hey, we can't, baby. It's spread. Yeah, yeah. We're all fucking losers, but you're not. So, it's funny that it's not coming from a loser. Yeah. But basically... Sorry, I'm just trying to find it. It's... It's a thing someone made in... AI. Oh, yeah.

28:16Pawn stars that have been deceased. Oh. And it's gone less we forget. I'm already on board. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You want me at last we forget. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, where is it? Looking to be countered by the attack. Oh, yeah, do it. Now, come on. You little controversy. You could sell some tickets. Fuck. Where is this thing? I've got so much shit in my phone. I've got so much shit. I've got so much shit. Cut off these little... Wasn't it a week ago that you did this? Yeah, yeah, yeah. In that time. I don't know how much it's been to us. How have we been doing a week ago? So many weird little men. I've got too many weird little men in here. Muscley men, you do. Little muscley men. A little muscular man. I can't find it. But it's just an AI thing of... Oh, yeah. It's just an AI thing of dead porn stars. And it's just gone less we forget. What is it a graveyard of something? Yeah, yeah.

29:18Oh, boy. Yeah. Oh, yeah. After the thing you can post on your story. Yes, yes. Thank you. Thanks, mate. Yeah. And we just wanted to... Yeah, see if... Yeah, promote your show. How many people find it? When is it? So King of the Car Park. King of the Car Park, 8.25 pm. Mon... Oh, nope. Tuesday through Sunday. Fuck yeah. Saturday and Plough. Cut this. 8.25 pm. The Western Four. Oh, great. It's at Monday. Yeah, great. Yeah. So, Alex Hodson online. So, which King of... Alex Andros, or if you fucking... If you want to... Jesus Christ, dude. Alex, like, how long can I take? I forgot you're such a bitch. No. But that's why we haven't worked here. There is nothing to you. I would like... I would like no more internship. I would like... I would like... I would like... Absolutely shook Will Anderson to his call. I wish I had your... Yeah. Savofer. Yeah.

30:18Yeah. So, Alex Andros Hodson, King of the Carpock. Check it out. Go and watch it. And... Yeah, thanks very much for this. Thanks, mate. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. But... All right. Reading. You got the kings. Oh, my God. We got royalty. You look like... You look like... You look like you're in pain. You look like you're in pain while you're doing that. I was. I was. I got this prick in from Sydney. Forcing out the last of your energy. We got McGougs. The Googs. It's good to be here. I'm very happy. I'm very happy. Yeah. I'm loving the, uh, the woke rebrand of the phone hats, you know? Yeah. Get the Jew out. Get the brown guy in. Yeah. You can really taste it. Yeah. You got your finger on the poles of society, don't you? Yeah. This is the Gaza Strip of Pog. Yeah. We're building the chemistry. You know, we're building it. I was like, I was unsure about it at first, you know. I was like, oh, hard. I don't think it's browns any funny. Yeah. Yeah.

31:18I mean, well, it's like diversity, you know, the management, the higher up, like you got to get them in. You worked with a brown, right? Me. Yeah. Absolutely. No, that's my red line. The podcasting. The fucking offended you even asked me that. Oh, man. No, it's good. You're up here doing your festival show. Be here now. Is it? Yeah. Be here now. And then you can leave. That's good. I can have a joke in the title, you know. And then you should, you should have put it further in the rackets. 50 if there's no laughs. Around 45, you know. Well, yeah, but the time for Cooper's is 50 minutes as well. So it's not even, not even going to be in an hour. It's gone. That's 45. Yeah, that's the best review you get. You go, it didn't go for an hour, which is great. Yeah. I mean, that's a, yeah, that is the best fucking, like the walking out of a show being like, oh, that didn't exhaust the shit out of me as well. Yeah, it is so good. That's all you want, you know. Sometimes I'll see a band that I want to see that I'm into.

32:18And I'll be like, I was seeing Tyson Gull and he was sick, like awesome. Yeah. But at the same time, I was like, then other times you're like, just fucking do big red cars. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I'm the only weird guy here with our kids. I'm bored out of my fucking stuff. Yeah. When the Wiggles screw their new stuff. Yeah. Riff. That's like my entire schedule. And I go on. Yeah. And I don't want to go. I've seen Bloowie. I'm more of a banjo. You know, the man, what the hell. I had a show on, so I went for like 40 minutes 1, 9, and then someone and after, it was like, man, that was really great. It just like flew by. I didn't even feel like an hour. That's like, yeah, man. And it's so tightly constructed. It's spectacular. Yeah. It's original. Man, you should have 20 minutes to watch more Rohan, Andrew on YouTube. go through all your best clips. That's it. Hell yeah, in time for dinner. Yeah, dude, and you know, you're in Melbourne, you've all, you've been already like, you know, seen a protest already.

33:19Oh, no, yeah. We put on a show for our, yeah, for our in-a-staters. Yeah, it was dope. I got the cop to teachers union strike. The Australian door. Yeah, took the baby to that. He loved it, you know, get him on early pay and the do's early, you know, counter protesting. Now, I'm the most storm, fucking, even more of a fucking winger. I'm the most pro union, can't you meet me. Oh, absolutely. My dad was a union rep on the M2 and how he got the job was that someone was like, we need someone to do it who's just going to kind of take money basically and stop everyone winging and he's like, yeah, I'll do that. And then he had a meeting and he's like, just terrified of public speaking at a get up in front of everyone. And he's just like, or like that. And the someone goes, yeah, fuck you like that. And he said, you round the corner now, went round the corner and bashed this guy in front of 200 union members. And then he goes, the Aussies respected that. They're like, he got nobody ever fucking be again after that. Yeah, they're like, who are we going to,

34:20who are we going to like, because Australians, we're all like, yeah, how you going to have a fucking beer. When it comes to like challenging authority, we're like, yeah, like who are we going to get? Oh, we'll get an Irishman in an Irishman. He was corrupt. He was like, he was taking the old ways to come. Everything I assume about unions based on like gangster movies. It's like, oh, it's true. Yeah. I imagine it's probably the same with the teachers. But the alternative is so much worse, you know. His corruption is why Jerry's been able to afford putting a show in Melbourne for a week to seek people in line. Hey, Papa, Papa. Can you take another bribe and cut everyone's benefits? Yeah, we need to need to need another fucking God railing. I made a sign for my girlfriend's teacher and she's there. I made this sign for her. Sure, you just a question mark on the end of that. Yeah, they should have been actually me teacher.

35:24I would have been better. Yeah, in future, just run all your ideas by me. But that's fair. Yeah, that's the best sign I've ever seen. They teach you. Yeah, that's good. If you say any cameras, you have to hold it up and just like, make the whole movement look ridiculous. Fucking. There's a few of them out there. By the way, they would have been like 10,000. That's it. Yeah, straights a straights a bit. Well, dude, it's brutal work. It's so brutal. Yeah, I wouldn't know. I was only a brickie's lover before he'd just tell me how hard it is. Oh, yeah, this kid yelled at this kid. Yeah, but nine years holidays a year. Did you ever have to chase Nick Caffer out of you a cluster when you were a brickie? Yeah, they do a good work. I couldn't find a broom big enough to get him out. You have to want to shoot out of Rohan's arsehole at age 10, you know, with your tongue. You're not even in special age and you're still shooting yourself.

36:29The people holding up just photos of my shit-filled pants with the protest being like, how is this not worth more money? Does your show have like a theme or a thing to it or anything? Yeah, so it's basically it's got a, I think I've got the best story in the festival. Okay, you heard it here first. Okay. Yeah, so it's about one of my best mates who is, let me be careful, I say, so I don't want to give it away, but involved in an international news incident. Oh, wow. I'm okay. So it was all over the papers and stuff a few years ago. Your friends with Osama bin Laden? Yeah, I'm the one who told him to go to Pakistan. I'm like, the US will not look for you there. Jerry was rocking around with Osama bin Laden. Who do you think gave him the family guy porn? You're going to need this mate to sign it across the desk.

37:32Being Osama bin Laden's family guy porn getter guys like, have to leave the compound and go and sign it. When you find out he had porn on CD-ROMs, you're like, oh, of course, this man was living like an animal. Okay, Boomer. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That's a guy runs a studio. Oh, yeah. I'm just asking the weird guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But man, it's, that's sort of. Runs a studio is so good, he interrupts. Yeah, he does. What do you do with a porn podcast? Yeah, it's going to be so hard. What they, uh, do they hide the remote to this aircon or what? To run a swap box. It's, uh, if you want to put it on, you can put it on. You got four hot blocs in here. Yeah, that's free. Please, your majesty. Yeah. Yeah. It was a great run podcast. We got the guests to turn on the aircon. Turn it on yourself. Yeah. Yeah. I can't handle it. Yeah. Well, you got an aircon issue. And you're fucking Larry Sydney, huh? Why are you just not wearing underwear like me and Nick? Yeah.

38:32Yeah. It's like balls. Yeah. Well, we're not only rowing to shoot himself, but wait till I do it as well. Yeah, the pod where we record now, um, in a sharehouse. We'll take with the puncher, dudes. Oh, yeah. The, uh, yeah, like a lot of times I find myself complaining about, like, I live there and it's like, oh, I'm the imposition here. Yeah. We're just setting up in there lounge. You're like, you believe that guy's fucking eating muscles again right next to where we're podcasting? I'm like, we don't live here. Yeah. Yeah. We're the fucking weird concept. Whose house is it? Is it chill? Yeah. Oh, right. Right. It's the funniest shit ever. He's got like a venue in Sydney. It's up three flights of stairs. There's no elevator. And like 10 minutes after the comedy gig stops. A full-blown nightclub starts. Yeah, yeah. So he has to like, lift 120 chairs up three flights. The skin is like five foot nothing. Yeah. 120 chairs up three flights of stairs four times a week. Oh, there's no storage. So he's got to like, run them down Oxford Street. He put them on this like weird fucking carrier trolley that

39:33loads a hundred chairs and wheels them down Oxford Street. On the staff of this yelling. And he's like, DJ Sharktooth needs to start his set now. Like, it is like literally like, uh, like a big fucking switch. Comedy off like that. They just throw the chairs in a pile. You put like a red velvet rope. And the people just come in and start dancing. Oh, there's cooler traction people come out of the woodwork. It's crazy. It's fucking 10 minutes ago. Yeah. Man, it'd be good to get revenge and just interrupt a fucking DJ with comedy. Oh, yeah. That's the best. I had the amount of venues I've done. And you've been like, you just hear the DJ pumping music. And you're like, hey, oh, it's cool. Like, they're obviously making more money out of that. Yeah. And then walk out and there's no one there. Yeah. There's no one there. And they feel no embarrassment about it. And they're sort of like psycho about it. You're like, hey, guys, well, there's no one there. And I'm doing a comedy show which people came to see. Like I'm bringing at least 50 people in. Yeah. How about just for the last 10 minutes, we don't have it at fucking 8,000 decibels.

40:35Yeah. It does sound like there's three F1 11s fucking playing scooter. Right. He just hits you backwards. I saw your numbers. That's 20, 20,000 30 pumps. Yeah. That'd be flexing 50 on me. 50 total. Yeah. They're all fucking. They're all fucking garbage. No, they don't. They're drinking water. I'm watching the water. Dude, one guy smuggled in four VVs. Yeah. From where he's from in Russia. The console is like, weird comes from Eastern Europe. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's not. No, no, no. I need him. I do need him. But it's like I, like Jake was managing me last year. And he's like, dude, don't worry. They're not promo ticks people. Yeah. They're this other club like this fucking five star cinema club or whatever. Yeah, yeah. And there was a couple of shows I added coupons. I was like, what is wrong? Like these people started out kind of hot. Yeah. What is wrong here?

41:35He realized that a lot of those people. They're a fucking poison. Yeah, whispering to each other. This isn't a movie. Yeah. I thought this was going to be a movie. Yeah. Yeah. I thought this was Marty Supreme. Yeah. Rita Supreme. Yeah. This is Marty Supreme. Yeah. This is Marty Supreme. Yeah. Fighty Supreme. Fighty Supreme. Fighty Supreme. Yeah. Yeah. Next year's title right there. Yeah. Yeah. You couldn't do any more like man. What I saw you're fucking like show titles. Like burst out of love. Yeah. What is it like fat alone game? You added so many. You added so many. You're all confused. I'm both useless and sterile. That's insane. I got a joke about it. Like when you've been doing comedy for like 17 years. You run out of titles and just start telling the truth. Next year's will be impotent fat and divorced. And then the next year will be fighty Supreme. Fighty Supreme. Next year will be Philippine's trip.

42:36Yeah. Philippine's trip. I've started my own podcast. Yeah. Solo podcast. I've got to send you this clip from this kind of obsessed with on. Is it the Thailand wife guy? The Thailand wife guy. I've obsessed with this guy. I think it's like one kettlebell rule. Is his Instagram handle? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's unbelievable. It's just this jack bald guy who's in his like 50s. It's like, will your Thai wife see you as an ATM? The truth. Yes. But Australian women do the same thing. Yeah. It's a difference is my Thai wife doesn't bitch and man. Yeah. Australian women. It's like unbelievable. Yeah. So like and he's got he talks about how he's got like kids back in Australia. But he's just over into it. And it's always just like rules for meeting a Thai bride. You don't want to just marry the bride. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't want to just marry the first one you meet. Like a lot of blokes do. You want to get out there and get to know the person. Yeah. I found my wife in a village. Yeah. I don't know.

43:36It's like. It's the best. Yeah. I was watching a serial killer. Yeah. And mit to a crime. Yeah. Funny. He did. I don't know if he saw the one where he's like, I would never. Yeah. I move. He's like, I would never let my bride live in Australia. Where she'd be worried about people breaking in with and attacking her with machetes every night. Oh. We live in Thailand where it's safe. And then all the comments are like, the murder rate in Thailand is five times as much as Australia. Oh. Oh, dude. It's so funny. And he uses like all this like AI slop fucking art in between these videos. Yeah. All right. Yeah, he goes, I would never live in Melbourne where people are just breaking in trying to get just like some AI images. I'm going in front of the door. Yeah. It's got someone trans with purple hair. Yeah. Yeah, it is that. It's so funny. So great. Do you have any like, because you live in Melbourne, but your parents are in the country. Yeah. Do they ever hit you like with any of the fucking Modok press brain stuff?

44:37Yeah. My, yeah, my, my, my nanodir, my, my mom and dad did that one. Funny. Yeah. It's so funny to do. I got no like, I was like, Queensland's more dangerous than this. Yeah. I was like, you can go for a drink at the pub. This is. Oh, bruh. All right. Hell yeah. He's a fucking king. Oh, man. That's it. No, it's right over your alley. Did Jackson, you, um, scaffolding podcast? No. Yeah. Yeah, I'm across that as well. Dude, that's awesome. What we do is art. What we do is art. And like scaffolding is like the most dumb country. Man, yeah. Like, I've got a scaffold ticket. It takes a day. Yeah. Well, maybe it's two days now. But when I got it, it was like a day and you can do it. There you go. And that's why you can build those. I can legally just put a scaffold up in this room right now. Yeah. Dude, do it. Yeah. Well, also it used to be like a bit of creativity because there was no scaffolding things. You kind of just, there was the, the rods, but you had to make it all. Sure. But now it's just all like, you just bolt it together.

45:38Yeah. It is my car. It's my car. Yeah. It's at all the car. And this guy's saying he goes, what we do is art. It's so good. And he's just going on this huge rant. And the guy doing the podcast never says a word during the podcast. It's a lie. It's just a British guy that listens. It's so sick. There's like, there's a sub lane for anyone now for anything. It rules. Like, most of my mates listen to like weird podcasts about some strange skill they're trying to get or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's just everything sort of available for you now. Yeah. There's this motor cross podcast I listen to sometimes. But I'm not really in with the no. But sometimes the guy will interview someone like the guy who started monster energy drink or something. Yeah. I'm just. I'm going to know how this guy's brain works. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. It's a hands mull and can. I don't know. All right. I mean, there was a guy who got the monster energy drink sponsor. Sure. But Americans are so good, dude. Yeah. They're the best because there's a thread I noticed with every podcast or everything they do. And that is they never admit that it's for money. Yeah.

46:38There was like, you know what? I was like, I got a, this guy is great. He knows how to race a truck. You know how to race a truck. I just want to see him do well. Yeah. So I was like, Hey, why do you need for your sponsorship? And he's like, I need five grand. So I said to the guy at the race. I said, they said, are you looking after that guy who races the truck? So I'm like, yeah, I go 50 grand. So I called him. I said, I just got you 50 grand. It's like never there's never any struggles. Yeah. Yeah. You know, life is for the world's best American accent. Right. That was amazing. I really loved it. Thank you. But he said, appreciate it is. This podcast is slowly developing into you just coding other podcasts. For like five minutes at a time. And even do it as long as we have, is like, there's nothing left in the fucking tank, you know? Yeah. Nothing left in the tank. Man, there's a thing that you keep bringing back each podcast. There's one story about a guy who fought, a guy who fought an MMA fighter,

47:40and Wollongong. Oh, yeah, my mate, yeah. My mate lost the fight to Alex Falkenewski. Yeah, I've heard that fucking four times. So you lost the fight at the skate park and Wollongong. Five times. There was a, you know, when you go into things and you just got blinkers on, like you don't know, like that guy didn't know he was going to be an MMA. No, no, they're both 15. There was this guy. I shared a dorm with a boarding school and I was in year seven and he grew up to be dead. He grew up to be a summer boy. When he moved into that dorm, he didn't know he was going to be the victim of sexual assault. The life just found him. He grew up to be an entertainment reporter on the today, so like the most campus guy ever. But the, yeah, but his name was Grant Laween. Yeah.

48:42And I, dad's like at boarding school, don't take any shit. Just keep your head down, don't take any shit, right? Fucking else. I was like, your dad took some shit at boarding school. Well, that's a thing. I was a disgrace to the family because he was a bully. My dad was a bully. And he's like, yeah, because when he went to the, when did this boarding school in England? Yeah, they probably had maces and shit. It's like, it's like fucking hunger game shit. Man, it's so funny because my dad's boarding school, he, because he lived in Africa. When to boarding school, since he was eight, like caught a ship to England. Really? Sorry, his parents twice a year. So that was a white South African. Yeah, I know he was in Zimbabwe. So, yeah, like, yeah. He's one of the good ones. Yeah. One of them real. Yeah, yeah, like so many of them are. Yeah. All chill. I had this joke of it. I could never do it. I was like, no, I'm, I'm half African. Oh, my God. I can't get any of these African lineups. Yeah. And I'm telling him. I'm like, my dad was over there.

49:44He had so many of them working for him. But yeah, he went to this boarding school. It was fucked. Like you got like it was in England very cold. Had the thinnest blanket ever sleeping on bricks, basically. One of those like you got to fuck the pig if you want to be P.M. It's 20 years to stop a deal. I've been under that one, but probably. You know that one? Yeah, yeah. David Cameron. David Cameron, yeah. And then he left and then like he finished and then my uncle came along, went to the same school. They were like, oh, you're a capitalist brother. He bullied us all and then just beat the shit out of my uncle. Oh, great. And then my uncle just left after he's sleeping on bricks with like a sheet in like minus 10 degrees. And he's like, how did this guy survive here? I got to switch like this is the worst thing. Yeah, far. But yeah, what was it talking about? Oh, fuck, something about my dad. Yeah, I'll tell you something funny about my, because he's got a bit of the fucking Murdoch press brain as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

50:45Loves it. But before I left, I was like, I'm going to be a Melbourne for a week. And he's just like, careful. No one puts a machete in your neck. I mean, he's got off the plane here. Oh, that's right. Yeah, my dad said, don't take any shit. And then I just fought this guy, my Dolan Grant, and I was just fucking, we had a big scuff. He was like, one of those cool prison movies. And he runs lean and out the window. He's like, ah. Do you have a good account of yourself? Yeah, it was good. Like I held up. But then two or three years later, I was like, I can't believe I've fought that guy. I would run in the other direction. You know, he just need that kind of ignorance. You got him when he was here. We got to get that ignorance. You got to have that confidence ago. I don't know. Did he grow up to be something crazy? Oh, he was a good rugby league player. Oh, shit. Yeah, yeah, a strong point. We were like, you always get into scraps. And you were like, oh, well, I definitely don't want to get into a serious fight with this guy. Yeah, he was really strong. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I got bashed by a guy called Garth from Wilberforce. He jumped me, bashed a shit out of me.

51:46And then it's Wilberforce. Wilberforce is like, uh, suburb there. Oh, wait. But Wilberforce worries, baby. And then yeah, the next week he put a bottle in someone's neck and went to jail. Oh, fucking, I got off pretty lightly. Yeah, he's warming up. Yeah, oh, fuck. Oh, man, my, uh, speaking of dads, my dad's never, he's, I'm sorry, I might have to shoot off in like a couple minutes. Oh, yeah, you're saying, yeah, my dad's no good with technology, right? Okay, finally gets on WhatsApp. And then he just, I just get this at 11 o'clock last night. Dad just sent me this. Just, just, just fuel. Just regular unleaded, OMG super unleaded. What the fuck? These all bend over. It's like a thanks dad. Yeah, should I do a hard plug and we can, and we can go, let's get the hell out of here. Ah, man, come see my show at Cooper's in 7pm. I want to see it. I want to hear this story. Dude, you got to say, I always put something in my shows. A one thing I'll never feel, never put out.

52:47The last show I had some shit about how my dad killed people was in the IRA. Yeah, wow. And this, this one I would say is more hectic than that. Really? Okay, fucking alright. Because it's like, uh, that's a good, that's a good plug. That's a good plug. So come through. You got five shows. The previous shows actually selling really well, planning a tics to the other ones. So come through, get around it, grab your tickets, and I'd love to see you all there. Yeah, it's great. Cause it's so good you sell a lot of dude. Cause you did the coupes in a couple of years ago. Yeah. And one time I just saw you walk out like the Terminator. Like I saw like five people walk out and you just walked out dead. I'd like it was like you, you had some prison love or something like that. I think it was, and you just walked straight to the door and went straight out. Yeah, I was like, oh man, I've been in that position so many times. It's like, you know, yeah, the show is actually the worst show. You said he's selling well and you're like, remember when you didn't, though. Yeah, yeah. This comes when you were five. Man, everyone in the seat, like, all the way says this about Kappa. He's like, he's only there when you're winning. Like he goes, you have a bad gig.

53:49The conscious of words I contact like friends. He's known for years. And it's like, I didn't know about you. They get the bad gig stench on him. You know, yeah, he's like, I kind of want to catch you. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm running. Oh, yeah, crazy. That's the story. I always have the worst set ever. Yeah, I know. I just walked straight past him. I think I can't do that. That's what you got to be like. Oh, man, don't stress for whatever. Oh, no, but I try to do that. But then people see that I'm like, why? They say that I'm like, you're a fucking priest. They say that I'm just, yeah. Fucking, yeah, that shows how I'm sick. I kind of hope you're just lying. And there's no massive story. Oh, man, I wish there wasn't. Because, yeah, it's like, fucking had a pretty big toll on my life. So I'm going now. Yeah, yeah. Come to your friends. You know, that Cory guy who had the party with the yellow sunglasses. Yeah. I'm still always last. Cory wording. What the fuck? Jerry, I fucking, I couldn't, I couldn't see enough fucking one of the abelical brothers. I don't think you would, I don't think you would walk out of there

54:50and go, fuck, I've heard a story like that before. Yeah, okay, okay. And the thing is like most of the new shit that didn't tell the full story, which I know. So like, it's all kind of surface shit that's out there. So you can look it up later and be like, oh, yeah, well, that's not right. That's not true. That happened. So this is an F-string show. Yeah, thanks for coming today. I'm not even lighting. It's really, I mean. Thanks, listen guys. Thanks for coming out, Jared. Bye.