Food as a love language with Razia Mahomed

0:00I want to know the best recipe. And also, maybe the, I wouldn't say worse, I don't like to insult food, but maybe a recipe that you tried and you were like, nope. That's not the one for me at all. And I would love for our listeners to share tried-intested recipes, especially if you've written me down in a book, what's the one that you really go for? During the month of Ramadan, you open your book. I think for me, it's my mom's Camira Nan. I think Rogni Nan, Rogni Nan recipe. I will actually take a picture and I'll put it on Instagram. You have to make it for you. It is such a lovely type of poor recipe. And I absolutely love it. So do share the recipes with us as well, making the intention that whoever's making your lovely recipes, you get the reward for it, especially if it's like the tried-intested family recipes passed down from your aunts or your uncles, your grandmother's, do share it with me on the WhatsApp line. Oh, seven, two, seven, eight, six, one, five, four, eight. And I'm curious about what is it that makes food such an important love language.

1:00For a lot of us, I love cooking. I love feeding everybody. And I'm sure a lot of our listeners to as well. So we're going to explore this in a bit of detail with Rizia joining me every Tuesday on the show. Rizia Salamu Alaikum. Welcome to the program I'd love to. Well, it's lovely to be chatting to you again on A on Radio Islam International. Walekum Salamu Alaikum. Welcome to Sathirai's always lovely chatting to you. Hope you're well this afternoon. I'm doing well, Alhamdulillah. We're not troubleshooting. We're not talking about emotional people, angry people. We're not talking about mother-in-laws and daughter-in-laws. We're doing something completely different. And we're talking about food. What is it about food, preparation of food? That is such a way of connecting people. And I'm saying this is somebody, my motto for the show that Ramadan has been bold community, bold community around the show. And Alhamdulillah, one of the ways in which we're doing it is sharing recipes. And why is it why is food so integral and such a big part of who we are?

2:02I think food brings people together by acting as a universal language. So even if you don't, if you go abroad and you don't understand each other, you both trust through that culinary thing that all countries have. So it triggers endorphins. It's similar to social bonding. So when you share meal, it creates a safe, almost a celebratory space for connection. So basically, you are producing a love language without even saying one word. And I think that's amazing. It is amazing. But sometimes I think it also, we push it a bit. We push the limits to this way of bonding. When it becomes over the top, when it becomes extravagance, when it becomes oppressive, you know, for certain families, it has to be 10 baskets of tea and savouries.

3:03You've got to do 60serts. You've got to do a 10 course meal. And I know we said we'd go in light-hearted, but at the same time, it's important to strike a balance when it comes to this connectedness we feel with each other through food. Absolutely. You know, that then comes down to that need for validation, that need for appreciation, that need for everybody to say, you are the best and you do the best. Also, I'd like to touch on, no, we're not going to go too deep. But what happens is, especially with the Indian woman, if they don't have a formal job, et cetera, then they take food as their reason for validation. Say, if someone told me that I make the best, whatever it is, that I make the best, so that means that I have kind of a reason to exist. You know, ironically, I had a client the other day

4:03and she's always complaining about having to cook for so many people. And I said, but why do you do it? Just sit back and don't do it because food is available everywhere. And basically, you're feeding adults, you know, so they can take care of themselves. And she says, but if I don't have food, if I don't cook food, then what else is it about me that I can offer to the world? So just that sentence alone made me think that there are so many, so many women in her shoes where if they don't cook food, if they don't have the wonderful recipe, if this doesn't come out the best, et cetera, et cetera, then they feel like they have no value in this world. And that's, I notice it a lot. I notice it a lot with the elderly, like they still want to cook, they still want to feed. And it's so interesting, what you say, maybe that's the validation they get. Maybe that's something that they really master. They really good it, good it.

5:05Something they can still share and it gives them the sense of being valued. When I green in noise with me, she loves going to kitchen. So I'm actually like 86 years old and she she'll go and she'll prepare these lovely meals. And I let her because it's so wonderful to see the joy that emerged from somebody who still has the ability to allow people to eat from their hands. And it's a type of joy, which I feel allow it. Let it be, go back to your parents or your moms and enjoy your food while you can because we get this great nostalgia in the month of Ramadan for a lot of listeners and a lot of the readers that are yearning, they would do anything to go back in time and taste their mom's food or their grandmother's food or their aunt's food. And it's associated with such powerful, beautiful memories sometimes, that food, that meal that was cooked for you. It can evoke a lot of nostalgia and a lot of emotion as well. Absolutely, but then that in itself will also green back, that nostalgia

6:08is about the culinary, right? So basically, it can go back to the older generation. Why do you remember about them? It's just the food and it's the togetherness brought together by food. So I think that is the reason why the older generation, especially, would spend copious amounts of hours in the kitchen just to show that they have value. And when it's bringing joy, as you say, with your older person that you were dealing with, I mean, when it brings joy to a different thing, but when it brings the whole thing of, I need to make this so that they must say that I make the best things or mine is the best compared to everyone else. Then you know it's a need for validation all the time. So I find that I'm lost with a woman of all ages, basically. We also talking about the tradition

7:09of handing out recipes and preserving the tradition in our very digital, very AI age where you can wipe out your phone, go to the meta, AI and ask for any recipe. But there's something lovely and that's why today's open line is all about sharing those recipes, that tradition of writing it down and preserving memories along with those recipes. Absolutely. So I'm a pin in paper kind of person, even though I'll type out, but I'll always have things written down, even lists is written down. So I think that is wonderful in the sense that, you know, your recipes can maybe leave a legacy, not maybe definitely leave a legacy. So you know, if you say, like you just said in the beginning of the conversation, that your mum's none comes out amazingly wonderful and you know that is leaving a legacy because if you have people after you that make the same thing and they can say,

8:10my great-grandmother made this or however they related, I mean it leaves a legacy and it's a connection to say that certain thing came from my family. So I think that in itself is a wonderful thing. So, you know, all these women, these aunties, these nannies, their daddies is holding onto the recipes, share the recipes because that is how you couldn't be remembered. There's an old lifestyle that goes, don't share your recipes because if you do, then the time you're gonna make it, then it's gonna flop. I did that Q&A two years ago and somebody said, they had this family member who believed this, this, this, this, I don't know, it's an old-right-state urban legend and she believed it so much that every time they would ask her for a recipe, she would omit an ingredient or omit a step in the recipe. And I said, you see, ladies, change the mindset, you know, what you, if you believe that's gonna be your reality,

9:13it's gonna be your reality, but change your mindset and say, I kind of remember which creator posted this and she said, even look at recipes as a way of saidaka, I'm sharing my nani, daddy, aunties, the recipe and I'm putting it out there and whoever's making it and they're feeding their family, they'll make two out for me. And I know a lot of the ladies that share online, you write down their recipes and when you make it to, you think of them, you make two out for them. So ladies, let's not believe in that urban legend and let's not give people incorrect recipes in Shallah. When I end up with food is a love language, just your thoughts on food is in sharing food and how they translate as a, as a love language for us. So I think it's a sensory experience that releases psychologically, basically, it releases oxytocin, right? And that is the bonding hormone. So that is how you say, oh, so-and-so's recipe I made and it was wonderful. So it's kind of a bonding hormone, I would say. Then as a love language is,

10:15I think it's basically the sixth love language because you're five love languages, right? We, it will signal powerful systems of care. It's a tangible way to say that I've got you and it involves time, it involves effort, it involves planning and it's powerful signals of care that this person or these people took out time to actually make this thing and to bond us together. So when I say it's the sixth love language because it naturally weaves together, I read something wonderful that said, it weaves together the five traditional forms of affection. So it's basically an act of service, right? It's a gift giving, it's quality time, it's worth of affirmation and it's also maybe physical touch. So it's definitely the sixth love language all over the globe, where we share and we care through food.

11:16So that is a wonderful way of looking at it as well. I love that and I would love to hear from you. So what's your most treasured recipe in your entire collection? Okay, I make a mean non as well. I can share it with you. It's, we can do the battle of the nones. And then my prawns is to die for. So I make lovely prawns. I'm the designated prawn maker for every function and what else? Oh, the traditional chicken kalyah. That's my thing. Please share the recipe with me. My sister loves chicken kalyah and I have no clue how to make it. I don't know where to start it. Oh, I'm gonna make your chicken kalyah. It's a, it's so, so simple and it comes out amazingly nice. And how do you love? Why do you know favorite recipes? Why do you? So it's, it's such a tradition of passing down recipes.

12:20So Alhamdulillah, my mom was always like a cook and always like selling food and that's, so I've got so many of her's, her kebabs, second to none. Honestly, the chicken tikka masala is the one that you make like from scratch. You take the chilies, you soak it, you put garlic, you put sauce, her chicken tikka, and she also makes this one called garlic chicken, garlic chicken. Hamasala is amazing. My late, my late granny's coconut biscuits and her roti was phenomenal. I would share the recipe but nobody's gonna be able to recreate it because I don't know what she did differently but she just made it so well. And from my personal side, my, my, my biscuit recipe, I'll share it with you guys next week in Shalai. It's a really good one. You can use it as a master recipe and then just bake all your biscuits using this particular dough. It's a very, very, very good recipe to follow. So those are a few of mine. And you know, I'm a foodie, so I'm gonna be sharing it all with all of you. Yeah, I'm looking forward to that. I'm just a thought.

13:20I wondered how many people do really make their own biscuits nowadays. And how many people do buy? Because there's a lot of people in here. I'm team homemade. I even made my own pastry dough this year. Oh, my word. And where do you find the time? I am that person who wants to make everything from scratch. So this year, I said, I'm not buying pastry dough. I'm making everything from scratch. But Alhamdulillah, if you love it and if it's a love language, it comes very naturally. Absolutely. And especially if you grew up with that, with those people around you where everything was homemade, I remember growing up, where even masalas was made every day. There was no freezing and there was no, you know, keeping things for weeks and months on end in the freezer. Everything was fresh. And you could actually taste the difference back in the day. Definitely. Good old taste. Thank you so much for joining me on the show,

14:21this afternoon for a bit of a light-hearted chat. And I appreciate it. Can you believe it? Next week when we check, it's our last show for Madan. So we'll check it again next week. Tuesday, inshallah. Yes, time is really of the essence. And I wish all of the listeners a wonderful 10 last 10 days. And may we make the most of it and remember our senior doers and have a wonderful 10 days, Sophia, lots of love. I mean, you too. Assalamu alaikum to you. Waikum, salamu alaikum to live with a cook too. So, listeners, let us know what is your most treasured recipe in your collection to share it with us as well. Oh, seven, two, seven, eight, six, one, five, four, eight. I've got a few messages that have come through. And this one reads, Assalamu alaikum, Sophia, this is a lovely recipe for curry, lembri chicken. So I'm going to read that one out. If you don't mind, can I share it on the website as well? I'll send it to the team. And the next message reads, Assalamu alaikum. It's definitely my mom's beaten bake cupcake recipe.

15:24Simple yet the best, used by my mom, my aunts, and carried down from generation and now to our kids. My daughter once tried another recipe and she said she'd rather stick to our tried and tested and flock proof recipes. So those are the messages that are coming through. It's 1632 Central African time. We're still chatting about food. After the break, Nasserine, Chamda will be joining us for our 40 series this afternoon. We are talking about fusion desserts. So we'll be chatting to Nasserine in Challah after this quick break. Practical steps like forgiving others, helping the needy and controlling anger are powerful medicine for the heart. Ramadan offers a unique environment to practice these deeds consistently, transforming not just our hearts, but our interactions and relationships as well. Ramadan 1447, the renewal of heart and soul. Only hundred degrees.

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18:31we are looking for 300 people to contribute 1,000 rain each to help continue this work. Be one of the 300 who keeps the voice of the Ummah alive. Allah says in the Quran, the example of those who spend their wealth in the path of Allah Subhanahu wa Ta'ala is like a seed that grows seven years in every year 100 grains and Allah multiplies for whom He welds Suratul Baqarah. Please share your tried and tested recipes. The listener wants to know, is there a way to make floppy proof non-gutai? I tried making non-gutai a few minds back

19:32and it came out very, it wasn't soft. So please let me know if you guys ever have a recipe, share it with all of us so we can all share it together in Shoa. We are chatting to Nasrin, Chandra who's joining me on the line. And we're talking about fusion desserts. This afternoon Nasrin, Assalamualaikum. Welcome back to the show. It's lovely to have you back with us on A. Nope, I don't, Nasrin is not there. So let's go back to the messages. Assalamualaikum, Safira, I give out my book to the ladies for them to write the recipes in. We're going to leave everything when we go from this world. That is very kind of you. Assalamualaikum, Safira, absolutely. You can easily lose your passion for cooking. If your value is tied to feeding people every single day, and especially people who are ungrateful. Absolutely, you lose the passion for it. Also, I was speaking to friends and they said, sometimes when you monetize your passion and say you cook something really nice

20:32so you make a really nice dessert or you make something really, really nice, and everybody says you should go and you should sell it. So you go and you start selling it. You actually lose the passion for making it because now it's stressful. You've got to make sure every patch is perfect. You've got to invest a lot of time, a lot of effort, a lot of ingredients. So sometimes it's not the best thing on earth to monetize all of our hobbies. If somebody was really good at cooking or baking, it doesn't necessarily mean that you have to go ahead and you have to share, or you have to now suddenly make it into a business because in making it into a business, or if you obliged to do something, you forced to do something, that's when you lose the passion for it. And food is so much about creativity. For me personally, at least it's so much about creativity, it's so much about passion, it's so much about pouring love into this thing and then making it. Like I would, I for instance, love baking bread. I love it. Okay, the sourdough thing is, it takes a lot of patience, but I love seeing or going through the process of baking bread

21:35and just seeing, creating something that nourishes people around me. For me, that's something quite exciting. And also, it is really, it's an outlet for creativity. But I do hear the listener who says that if you have to do it and you are forced to do it and you feel obligated to do it, sometimes you can definitely lose your passion for cooking or even baking. So I'm basically not on the line. So what I'm gonna do is I'm gonna share some recipes, tried and tested recipes that have come through on the show. The first one is called Curry Limri Chicken. So for this, you need to cook one chicken with a heave teaspoon of ginger, red ginger garlic masala, two grated tomatoes, some salt and some fresh curry leaves. And then you cook this chicken until it's half done. You melt one tablespoon of lemon juice with about 125 grams of butter. Once the chicken is done, add the lemon juice and butter, cook until almost done.

22:36Then you're going to sprinkle some red chilies and some sliced green chili. Lastly, you make an onion vagar with more curry leaves. You add the vagar over the chicken and the chilies. You can actually, you can add or subtract according to your personal taste. So this one sounds quite nice. I'm gonna get it to the team and get it onto the website. So perhaps it's very nice recipe to save for eat. The syrin, Assalamu alaikum and welcome to the show. It's lovely to have you back with us this afternoon. Assalamu alaikum to be out. Thanks so much for having me. Yeah, most welcome. We're talking about desserts. As we get closer to eat, you guys can save some of these recipes for your eat recipes. What desserts have you been cooking up in your kitchen this week? Oh, alaikum has been quite interesting. I've experimented quite a bit with smoked ass fillings. I've done smoked ass pancakes. And I made a really good and delicious smoked ass fini. So that was really quite a big hit. Just basically omitting your normal standard rose and cardamom flavors and trying to go something

23:38a little bit more close to home. So it was nice experimenting with it. It was quite a big hit at home as well. It sounds fascinating. Milked ass fini. So basically you make your normal fini, taking out all the cardamom, ilacin, obviously you're gonna now replace it with cinnamon. So what you do is you add vanilla into your base and you're gonna make sure it's nice and creamy and creamy. And then what you do is you do a generous dusting of cinnamon before you serve. And the flavor is mind blowing because it generally tastes like a mokta custard. And what I did was just to give it a little bit more of the traditional mokta aspect of it. I took condensed mokrasks and I just crushed it up finely and I added it to my glass. So if you really wanna go, you can add a bit of a, like a tart, a type of a crust. You can add some melted butter to give it a bit of flavor, but ultimately crushing a basket, adding the fini on top, have it in a glass. I love that. And then the next one is the very vital, 10 desserts.

24:43So you did a strawberry miso, strawberry miso. Yes, absolutely because I mean so far nowadays desserts are all about some plasticity and using ingredients you have at home. So when I thought about what desserts I'd like to make for eat and something that stood out for me a lot would be, something unique, something that people are familiar with, because a lot of people like to say that for Malia what the dream cake, say for Malia what the lazy cake, as well when you're using the cereal toppings on everything. So why must combine the two? And then who doesn't love a good tiramisu, right? Absolutely. So how did you make this one? So the fun is really, really simple. You start off by taking your lady's fingers and you are gonna soak it in some strawberry mokk. So now here is where the fun bar happens, that because you can either use a pre-bought strawberry mokk shake, you can use strawberry powder, or you can use a strawberry syrup. It just depends on what you have available to you in your cupboard. You soak your lady's fingers and you're gonna edit your 10. Now in the video that I posted today, I used to drink 10, so it was really quite small,

25:44so I only used one layer. And normally if you're using a larger dish, I would say using a entire packet of biscuits and then do two layers, right? So you start off with your biscuit layer then you're gonna make your mascarpone. So you're gonna whip up some fresh cream, you're gonna then fold in your mascarpone and the trick here is to make sure the mascarpone is slightly at room temperature because if it's too cold, it's too clotted, so when you start whisking, things can separate and split and we don't want that. Add a little bit of vanilla and icing sugar and your cream mixture is ready to go. Then what you can do is you can slice up some strawberries. Another thing I thought of after I posted the video was if you really want to add a little bit of a different flavor profile, take some rose syrup. And actually soak your strawberries in the rose syrup for a little bit. Otherwise just leave the strawberries as easy because the acidity will just cut through the sweetness of the cream and it will just be a beautiful flavor. I've then topped it off with some strawberry pups and I took white chocolate and I mixed it

26:44with a little bit of coconut oil and I poured it on top because I wanted to get that very specific definitive crack of a dream cake. So easy, easy but really, really good. Absolutely delicious, definitely take on a tiramisu. You see the rose and matcha, you see the lemon, you see chocolate, you see your traditional tiramisu but this is something a little bit different. Definitely getting inspired by something that works. Really tasty. The dream cakes are these ideal to make for Eid and also where do you get the tins that to put the dream cakes in? So the problem I had is that I actually got the tins on Timo a while ago. So I have a small supply in my garage cupboard but I haven't been able to source these specific tins. I also wanted to use these tins for the viral cookies, the soft cookie, so it goes in the oven. But the problem is that if you don't know where these tins come from exactly, you can't say whether they safe

27:45to be used in the oven. So I'm gonna be doing a recipe with that but I'm gonna be showing you how to actually bake it and then transfer it into these fancy tins just to make sure that you are being safe because we don't always know if these tins are oven proof. Okay. And then the dream cakes also a last question. If ladies wanna make it, I wanna listen, I wanna make it for Eid. How long in advance can you put the dream cake, put it into the tin and keep it in the fridge for? So look, my recipe requires about two hours of chilling. It depends on the size that you're using. The tins I have are fairly small. So within an hour, it's already set and ready to go. So you just depend on whether you're available or you have the tins available to use. Alternatively, if you are using any other type of dishes, I would say two to three hours depending on the quantity that you're using. If you're using the full recipe that I've posted. And again, I mean, like I said, if you're having a small intimate lunch, the dream tins work really well because, like I said, it depends on the size that you acquire.

28:45Otherwise, pop it into a large casserole dish or put it into beautiful glasses. The idea with this is because it's layered. You get the beautiful colors in between. So it's pink, white, pink. It's beautiful. So even if you don't use a, a ton that I use, you didn't sum in fancy because you're still gonna get that wow effect because it's layered. Lovely. And finally, because we took him out recipes and recipe books and passing down recipes, what's the most treasured recipe in your collection right now? Besides the day, Vera. Oh, as I must be honest at the moment, I'm kind of crashing over your bone broth recipe. I have mine sitting in my pressure cooker. So yes, it's not dessert, but it's something that I am dying to try. So I've actually got that setting now for a couple of hours. I can't wait to go home and tap up my water. Enjoy. It is really something. And you can feel the difference in your bones. It makes the bones feel a little bit stronger. So enjoy the bone broth. Thank you so much for joining us

29:46on the show on the screen. In shall, I will catch up next week for our last recipe segment. We're going to do a bumper show with all the tips for baking for Eid for on the show next week. So stay tuned for that one. And until we chat again, you take care. And asalamu alaikum. Lakin, flam, rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.