🏀 “Flagrant” — LA Clippers financial foul. Uber vs Cybercab. Goodles’ $100M mac-&-cheese. +State Fair PE

0:00This is Nick. This is Jack. It's Friday the real Friday. September 4th in Tittingspot is the best one yet. This is a T-boy. The top three pop business news stories you need to know today. This is we got a three day weekend here But Jack how was your golf game yesterday people won't know. For! Sounds like it didn't go that well actually. Let's just say Claudio wishes he picked another ringer for his last night of men's league. Yeah, it's all in the hips. I told you it was all in the hips Jack. I birdied the first pole. Didn't even par anything after that. Jack ran out of animals after that. Yet he's we got three fantastic stories though for the coolest place at capitalism. Jack, what have we got in the T-boy? Let's just hope I'm not kicked out of the well. For our first story the Los Angeles Clippers just got the biggest punishment in NBA history. But one person didn't get punished and that explains the whole Labor Day holiday. For our second story, Ubers spent a decade fighting taxi unions. Now Ubers partnering with them. Because Tesla's new cybercabs have no steering wheel and no pedals. And our third and final story is Goodle's noodles.

1:01The viral mac and cheese brand just got acquired by the oldest pasta company in the world. And their secret strategy, what is it Jack? April Fool's Day. No joke real thing. But yet he's before we hit that wonderful mix of stories. Oh, what a mix of stories to go into the weekend. Love the mix Jack. For Get Coachella, I'm not interested in Burning Man and no. I don't want to spend $71 on it drink at the US Open. Because the most undervalued marketing moment of the year is actually the oldest. It's the state fair. The state fair, the humble state fair has now become the Super Bowl of Selling Baby. And Wall Street just realized it. We hope this doesn't mean dynamic pricing for the Ferris wheel right. We do. A QR code? No. A QR code? Jack, can you step on that box of straw and sprinkle on some context for us please? The first state fair happened in 1841 in Syracuse, New York. Just outside New York City. All 50 states that now have state fairs today. And yeah, we've been there. You pay nine bucks to see a 10 foot butter sculpture or you'll wolf down a fried Oreo corn dog with cotton candy.

2:02Which you end up vomiting on the knockoff loony tunes roller coaster that you can't believe is still standing. That doesn't really look like Bugs Bunny, but it kind of looks like Bugs Bunny. The state fair was originally designed to promote the state's agricultural industry. Livestock Corn Maze is in good old fashioned tractor rides, man. But now, elf beauty has arrived, sponsoring Texas's state fair with an elf beauty 20 foot lip balm dispenser that's flavored like a pickle. Levi's is sponsoring Minnesota State Fair with a 55 foot cowboy statue and a custom jeans mini factory at the fair. Wegmans, Coca-Cola, Luchazy Boots. Wow, they're all sponsoring state fairs this year. Old McDonald didn't have a farm. He had a shoe deal, Jack. Brands are realizing that state fairs are the perfect captive audience for discovery of your brand. Okay, but shhh, Jack, you don't want to tell private equity about this. Although, you know those traveling roller coasters, the company behind them is Cypress Group. And whose Cypress Group, Jack? A New York private equity firm. Ha, car niees, they're not wearing corporate branded Patagonia's. Have fun at the state fair yet.

3:06Sorry, I mean, Goldman Sachs. Jamie, Jack, let's it ice me story. 15 years before this song, two boys from the Northeast met in the dorm. They had an idea that cause a cultural storm. It's the best one yet, but the best is an arm. Jack, Nick, that's a kid. I don't even think they need to practice. 50%. That's a fat tip. Tea boy city on your ass list. If you know, because we've read to go, we can't wait no more. So just start the show. Start the show. First, a quick word from our sponsor. Support comes from wise, the smart way to manage the currencies you need around the world. Your life is global. Your money should be two. Some providers promise no fees on overseas transfers. Don't be fooled. Extra costs often hide in bloated exchange rates. Choose wise. You can send spend and receive money in over 40 currencies.

4:08Count on the exchange rates that you'd usually see on Google. That's how millions save billions on hidden fees. Be smart. Get wise. Visit wise.com. Season C's apply. Four hour first story. The Los Angeles Clippers and their Microsoft CEO owner just got the biggest punishment in NBA history. But the biggest wrongdoer in this scandal is unpunishable. And Labor Day explains why. Ah, check the calendars yet. He's exactly one year ago. Podcast or Pablo Torre found out that the Los Angeles Clippers cheated to evade the salary cap. Yesterday, the Clippers found out their punishment. But first, some context. Yeah, let's tip it off, Jack. You see the 30 teams in the National Basketball Association have agreed to something called a salary cap. It's a rule to pay the players the same amount to keep the league more competitive. But Steve Bommer, the former Microsoft CEO and current owner of the Los Angeles Clippers, he cheated. He was the Microsoft CEO for 14 years. He's rich and he wants to win.

5:11So he participated in a scheme to bypass the salary. And here's what he did. He signed Kawi Leonard, the two-time NBA finals MVP. And it appeared he took a pay cut to play for this team. His hometown team. Yeah. Kawi Leonard did not take a pay cut. No, what did he do, Jack? Not only did he get his salary from the Clippers, he also got off the book's fake endorsement deals. Get this, owner Steve Bommer personally paid $60 million to a company if that company would pay Kawi $28 million to do nothing. It was a fake endorsement deal. It was not $28 million for a no-show job. The kind of deal that Tony Soprano would negotiate for his buddies. Hey, God, bug-goo! You see the Clippers circumvented the rules to pay Kawi above and beyond the salary cap, gaining therefore an unfair defeat. One year ago, Pablo Torre and his staff found out and want to pull its surprise for their podcast. So here's the news yet is the NBA has just announced flagrant violations of those salary cap rules and the most severe punishment in basketball history.

6:11Make this mix, let Trill Sprewell look like he got sent to his room. They're don't get on the team here. I mean, so severe Dennis Rodman's impressed by this, Jack. Now, the first part of the punishment is basketball. The Clippers lose their next five years of first round draft fix. And two front office executives are getting suspended without pay and Kawi Leonard gets a $700,000 fine. Plus, the team must pay a $30 million fine. That's like a million hot dogs, Jack. And the Clippers must agree to five years of league monitoring. Basically, there's going to be a babysitter in the front office making sure they don't cheat again. Yeah, but what's the wildest part of your basketball fan, Jack? The Clippers already traded five first round draft picks in the first place to get Kawi Leonard in 2019. But now they're losing five more, so a total 10 first round draft picks have been taken away from the Clippers. Plus, the Clippers lost SGA in this trade and they have not won a final. But Bestie's, this is what we find fascinating to everyone whether or not you're a basketball fan. The punishment does not fit the crime because the key wrong door is actually unpunishable. Yeah, you want to tell the besties? Why are we thinking this is the perfect Labor Day story?

7:14Everyone punished in this story works for a living except one. So, Jack, what's the takeaway for all our buddies who want to make money on Labor Day? This story shows the power of ownership. Yet, he's three people who work for a living got punished in this situation. Two of them lost paychecks and one of them wrote a big fat check. But there's one person at the Clippers organization and only one person who does not receive a salary. That's Steve Balmer. The $30 million fine is billionaire will pay. It's 0.02% of his net worth. Jack, what's that equivalent to exactly? The fine that the NBA imposed on Steve Balmer is equivalent to just 20 bucks for a household earning 100 grand a year. It's basically a parking ticket. Yeah, it's a parking ticket. Yeah, he's suspended from team activities for the nine month long season. That's basically justification. Meanwhile, if his Clippers grow in value conservatively, let's say 5% per year, that's $375 million in appreciation that he'll enjoy. And that $375 million new bucks, that's taxed to 0%. It doesn't know any taxes on that until he sells the team.

8:14What we're saying is this year, the Clippers will grow in value 10 times more than Steve Balmer has to pay as a fine. And that shows the power of ownership. Labor gets taxed at a high rate. Salaries can be revoked and you can get fired. But owners basically pay no taxes if you have the right accountant. And what you own can't be taken away. We're not saying that this is right yet. But this is the reality. Ownership has huge advantages and that's how you grow wealthy. Owning property, stocks or businesses. That's how you get ahead. Jack and I, we're like two of the hardest working people we know. But 364 days out of the year, that's owner's day. On Labor Day, this story shows the power of ownership. For our second story, Uber is falling behind in the self-driving race so they're pretending to be anti-self-driving for now. Uber's actually done two complete strategic 180s. The reverse Uno card. And you need to know about them. Yeti's last night Tesla hosted a cyber cap event down in lovely Austin, Texas.

9:16The title for the event was No Wheels, No Pedals. Because 23 months after unveiling the cyber cap, they christened the first cybercabs with their first paid commercial rides. And spoiler, these new cybercabs, No Wheels and No Pedals. The car looks like James Bond's golden pistol from Golden Eye. A way sleeker looking Waymo. Speaking of Waymo, Jack. Two days before Tesla's big cybercab event, Waymo launched in San Diego, Denver and Tampa Bay. That's right, Waymo is now robo-hailing from 14 different American cities. You know what that means? Uber, the disruptor, is getting disrupted. So, Jack, what is Uber, the disruptor disruptor doing now? They're partnering with taxi driver unions to stop self-driving cars. I'm sorry, hit the brakes and pause the fought. Wow, the irony is wild on that one, man. Because for years, for a decade, Uber was an outright war against taxi driver unions. But now that the disruptor is getting disrupted, Uber is throwing the old, reverse, you know, car on us.

10:16According to the Financial Times, Uber is asking lawmakers to require that ride-hale companies have hybrid networks that combine self-driving cars with human-driven cars. Besties, these laws, if implemented, would require Waymo and Tesla to put humans in the cars or partner up with Uber. It's such a self-serving move by Uber. In New Jersey, for example, Uber lobbyists propose that any app offering robot taxi rides also must have human drivers provide at least 85% of the rides. It's like, if office buildings were now required to have human elevator men in the elevator with you. It's a brazen self-serving anti-innovation move that, yeah, will also protect some taxi drivers. So, the taxi unions, they're sus, but they're reluctantly accepting Uber's sudden support. The enemy of my enemy is my buddy, I guess. But, besties, let's sprinkle on more context. Uber was the OG move fast and break things, but now it's the move slow and humanized things. It's the double reverse-oominal card. Uber is now pro-regulation and pro-human drivers. But again, for now, we love this analogy that the lift CEO David Risher shared on our show.

11:19This was great, Jack. He said that self-driving is like a tidal wave coming at the economy. Because besties, you can either ride that self-driving wave or you'll get walloped by it. Now, while Uber tries to delay that tidal wave as long as possible with new rules and regulations, it's also simultaneously investing in surfboards to ride that wave. And, it's a whole lot of surfboards, Jack. Uber has partnered with 15 self-driving companies across the world. 15, because Uber's hoping for a fragmented future where lots of different robot taxis all find their passengers on the Uber app. Uber has always dreamed of a day that they can cut out the expensive human driver from their business model. But now, Uber is realizing that they could be the ones left out. The stock is down 18% in the last 12 months. This chassis is struggling. And that, that is why Uber is pulling a strategic 180 double-uno reverse card. Uber is partnering with its old enemies, taxi drivers and regulators. Again, for now. And the reason is our takeaway. So, Jack, can you toss that puppy into drive mode and tell us what's the takeaway for our buddies over at Uber?

12:24The app is no longer an asset. Yet, for 100 years, the Detroit Big Three had been Ford, GM and Chrysler. But now, the Big Three are Tesla, Waymo and Uber. But to compete against Tesla and Waymo, which are trillion dollar companies, Uber, they can't just be an app. That's why Uber has had to commit $10 billion to build stuff. Physically, we're talking Rivian, Neuro, Lucid. Uber has committed to build and buy at least 35,000 of those cars, each all driverless. So, Uber's second strategic 180 is going from an asset light app-only middleman that takes 20% of fares. To a $10 billion fleet of 100,000 robot taxis from 15 different companies to compete with the Big Boys, Uber can't just be an app anymore. It's gotta go from clicks to bricks. Let us know what you think in the comments and Jack. And I will take a short break. Now, a quick word from our sponsor. Support comes from Wise, the smart way to manage the currencies you need around the world.

13:25Your life is global, your money should be too. Some providers promise no fees on overseas transfers. Don't be fooled. Extra costs often hide in bloated exchange rates. Choose Wise. You can send, spend and receive money in over 40 currencies. Count on the exchange rates that you'd usually see on Google. That's how millions save billions on hidden fees. Be smart, get wise, visit Wise.com, season C's apply. For our third and final story before the weekend, Goodles and Noodles, the Mac and Chees startup was just acquired by the biggest pasta business on Earth. Because Goodles turned April Fool's Day into Growth Day. Oh, Lorda Lasagna, the Prince of Poper, Delhi. Fun fact from Nick Bandela, any Italian food that ends with the letter E, you're supposed to pronounce that E. Oh, you got to own the vowel, Jack. Every vowel gets some minute of their moment in time. Also a fun fact. One out of three pen A pasta pieces you've put in your mouth was made by one company.

14:29Barilla. Barilla. A 150-year-old family-owned Italian pasta brand. It's actually the oldest and biggest pasta seller on planet Earth. They do $5 billion a year in carbs. I mean sales. They have a monopoly on macaroni. Italy runs on Barilla pasta. Or does it? Because the oldest pasta brand just acquired the youngest. Goodles. Noodles. Goodles. Noodles found during the pandemic as a better for a millennial Mac and Chees company. The box looks like a disco ball. Oh, that's a clean disco ball, Jack. When I first saw the Goodles box, I thought, oh, this is Mac and Chees, but it must be less processed than Kraft. I thought it was a pop-tart Jack. And you would sweeper and dip for fast food. Oh, it did for milk. What Harry's did to razors. Goodles is doing to Kraft. Time's operation. Out Kraft. Kraft. Because Goodles is now doing $88 million in revenue a year and is profitable. And those numbers are from three years ago. And since then sales have gone from out dent day to boiling. Goodles is now eating Kraft's lunch literally. Because Kraft's market share of Mac and Chees fell from 45% of the market to 39% since 2022.

15:33And all six percentage points of that market share shrinkage has gone to Goodles noodles. But yet he's like lasagna. This story has layers. Yeah, this is way deeper than like a healthy brand of pasta story. There are plenty of those healthy pastas out there. Now, yes, Goodles was early on the protein-maxing trend. They stuffed their tubes with grams of protein, naturally. And yes, Goodles benefited from their celebrity-backed muscle. They added actress Gal Gadot as a co-founder a few years ago. More important than those, though, is that Goodles realized the top paying customer was hiding. They were hiding. You see Kraft Heinz and General Mills, they target children in their Mac and Chees branding. The box looks like kindergarten toys. SpongeBob and Disney characters? That is microwavable kid culture. But Goodles bet that there was a heated audience of grown-up Mac and Chees fans as well. 20 or 30 year olds who wanted to devour their old comfort food. But not with noodles shaped like teletubbers. So Goodles designed their box to appeal to adults and then they jacked up the price to be twice as much as Kraft. The box made it feel grown-up and higher price made it feel premium.

16:34And then they added sophisticated flavors like Truffle and Griair that would break a kid's palate. While there would dump the Mac and Chees on my head if there was Griair. You see the midlife Mac and Chees eaters? They were out there, but no one was speaking to them, so they were hidden. Goodles took a risk bet that they existed and they did. Basties, we have heard of startups in stealth mode before, but sometimes customers can be in stealth mode too. So Jack, what's the takeaway for all our buddies? Slurping and leaking. No, slurping on the pod. I'm in the pod, tell the box now. Jack, what's the takeaway for all our buddies over at Goodles Noodles? If you can't outspend the competition, outweird them. Outweird them. Yeah, that's a quote from the Goodles co-founder. Because while Goodles couldn't spend what Kraft could, they did have a higher risk tolerance. Goodles was willing to get weird with their marketing, which Kraft's lawyers would never. Okay, but the most unique and strategic weird moves that this company made, it happened on April Fools. Every April Fools Google switched their flavor names.

17:35Like the Aceago flavored Mac and Cheese became Kiss My Aceago. They also changed the names to Smack My Mac and Sneasy Cheesy for that day. Real, sellable flavors just changed the names for April Fools. Jack, there is no way that $30 billion Kraft Heinz has the logistical or legal flexibility to put the word Ace on a Mac and Cheese box. Understandably sell. They don't want to upset their long-lasting customers who serve their kids. Or a reference to spanking. But get this. Goodles sales jumped 20% on the first day of every April every year because of that April Fools stunt. Goodles turned April Fools from a joke to a growth hack to a competitive advantage. And that is why they're now selling for probably nine digits. Jack, could you whip up takeaways for us for the three-day weekend? Public Tories investigation resulted in the NBA's biggest punishment ever. On this Labor Day, the Clippers drama shows the power of ownership. For our second story, Uber has pulled two strategic 180s. It's now pro-regulation and taxi driver unions and it's building a fleet of cars.

18:39No reversing of cars. To survive against Tesla and Waymo, they got to go from clicks to bricks. And our third and final story is Goodles noodles. It's sold to Berilla for an undisclosed price. Because Goodles that grown ups wanted Mac and cheese too, so they turned April Fools into their growth hack. But besties this pod's not over yet. Here's what else you need to know today. First, OpenAI says they have won the race to AGI, aka Super Intelligence. They released Astra, their new large language model, and OpenAI believes they've achieved artificial general intelligence, AGI. AGI, artificial general intelligence. That's smartness on par with a human being just like us. If true, huge. Because for the last four years, all the AI leaders have been obsessed about the race to artificial general intelligence. Time will tell if Sam's really won this war or if they're exaggerating a bit, we'll figure out what it all means and how much was rounded up. Second, the Dutch are pulling 78 tons of gold out of the United States. No, not like trading, this gold, they are physically moving 156,000 pounds of gold physically.

19:42Did you just mathematically do 78 tons to 156,000 pounds? Not in my head. Had a ridden on some crib notes I had right here on the pod, Jack. It's $11 billion worth of gold, and it's being shipped out of the US. Sounds like the plot of the next Fast and Furious. They say it's because of political unrest in the United States, but we think this is all just the plot of the next Vin Diesel or Dan Brown movie. That's our theory. And finally, you can now get through airport security to meet a loved one at the gate. Jack, didn't your Nana used to do this for you? Oh, yeah. Every time I walked off the plane at Fort Myers Airport, I'd go up the tarmac and Nana would be right there greeting me with a gigantic hug. Nana would even show up on business trips for Jack. Not even airports, she wasn't even at, she just show up and give them a hug there. Now, that all ended on 9-11, of course. Only ticketed passengers could get through TSA after that. But now you can apply for a gate side by TSA pre-check, so you can get through TSA without a ticket. Because love, actually, is everywhere. Now time for the best fact yet, this one sent in by Andre Over in Queens, New York. We just got the numbers from the US Open and the Honeydew sales in particular.

20:44Oh, the most profitable cocktail of all time. It's profit, Bubby. Last year, the Open sold 738,459 Honeydews in 10 days. Wow. That's how many of these drinks were sold in 10 days last year. That is an all-time high of 17 million bucks in revenue. And they had to fly in 17,000 cases of melon from California to Queens, just for the garnish. They filled eight semi-trucks of melons just for that garnish. Because the green melons are shaped into little tennis balls that stick onto the top of the drink. And if you didn't Instagram a picture of that Honeydews, then did you even go to the US Open? Yeah, these are looking fantastic before this three-day weekend. And if you're going to a state fair, send us a pick. If you're going to the US Open, send us a pick. If you beat Jack's golf score, send us a pick. I really disappointed my father a lot. Where are you going this weekend, Jack? Are you making up for that previous game for your father-in-law? I actually might play golf again, you're right. I'm going to the value. I'm going to the shallow. Okay, there we go. There we go.

21:44What a win. Yeah, these. We hope you have a blast. If you haven't yet, drop down to give us five stars. A rating review. That is how we grow the show. And we still got some tickets to our San Francisco live show on September 23rd. Perfect Labor Day gift for yourself. Go to teboypod.com and Jack and I will see you for teboy Tuesday. And before we go, a happy birthday to legendary Eddie Levi Haas, who's got a bar mitzvah weekend down at Cleveland, Ohio. Happy birthday to Barney Lopez, turning 40 years old over in Albuquerque. And Kevin Burkin and Rose Well, Georgia just outside Atlanta, has the best birthday yet. Happy birthday to Billy Kushner, along Ireland. And Melanie Souther, Knoxville, Tennessee. We see your celebrity birthday. Happy birthday to Izzy Baker and Skinny Atleast, New York. And Marina, Seority, and Dan and Arkansas. Tijuana La Cola, according to your family. Congratulations to Gab's Bostos, who's graduating with a marketing degree in Porto Allegra, Brazil. And Chris Guarte and Frisco, Texas, just got promoted to senior regulatory affairs program lead down at Johnson & Johnson. Happy 16 year anniversary to Ruby and Lani.

22:46Eight years with T-boys celebrating in Los Altaos Hills, California. And congratulations to another year of the note team over a New York City in Sweden. And thank you to Matthew Hawkins. Remember, I found it incredulous that you need to change your smoke alarm every six months. Yeah, yeah. I was like, I must be doing something wrong. Well, I clarify correction for us. You only need to change the batteries every six months. You don't need to change the alarm for seven to ten years. Actually, my smoke alarms are connected hardwire to the electricity. So that's why I've never changed the batteries. Oh, we gotta go now, Jack. Peep. We got double A's. This is Jack, I on stock of lift and Ford.

23:50That's how millions save billions on hidden fees. Be smart, get wise, visit wise.com, season C's apply.