FEELING THINGS: Love, Lobotomies, and Marriage Hacks

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3:17Happy Tuesday. Welcome to Feeling Things. I'm Amy, and I'm Kat, and do you want to start with your feelings? Well, let's start with yours because I'd like to elaborate on mine, and I'm definitely not elaborating on mine. Okay, then mine's confused. I'm feeling very confused, and this is something that I will likely elaborate on later, but it's just something that's been lingering for days, this feeling of confusion, but I'm also trying to sit with it and not rush to make a decision. So if anybody else out there is feeling confused about something and eager to get to the conclusion, I invite you to take a beat, because that's what I'm trying to do, take a breath, and then not try to rush to figure it out. If there doesn't need to be rushed now in some situations, you might need to come to a conclusion. In my particular one, I don't need to. I would like to, but I don't need it, so I'm trying to be very patient in how I handle

4:19it, and not do what I normally try to do in control, or maybe even manipulate a little bit to kind of get to a conclusion faster, I'm just practicing patience, and seeing where it goes. And then eventually, once I know where the confusion is going to land, I can share more, but I'm not ready to share the topic. Okay, so what are you waiting? Yeah. That's my feeling. Confused. Confused. Well, I'm feeling both disappointed and disgusted. Okay. With a makeup. With a... Oh, same. Who's not disappointed and disgusted, that's pretty, and confused. I'm very confused. Honestly, I would add confused. Yeah. Or just the world. Yeah. No, just, I mean, a lot of it states that a lot of it states like, yeah, cat and cat or like off mic before we started recording, and we were like, should we even be saving our money? Should we just kind of spin it all, because like something just feels scary and off, like

5:22all of our money is just going to disappear, or the world's going to end, or something crazy is going to happen. Okay. What? I know, but I don't like putting that into the... I know. I don't want you either, but that's just... I'm just giving people a little... Save the money, everybody. Yes. Definitely be responsible and save your money, which it's funny you met with your financial advisor this week, because I just met with mine a few days ago, too. Yeah. So we both had a meeting, and I saw a first deposit go out towards something that I'm trying to save for my old age, but it was more of a committed thing that I'm trying to do monthly for compounding, da-da-da, all the things, and now I'm like, why? Why'd I set up that auto-draft? I could go buy something. I could be enjoying that money now. Yeah, but I do want to be responsible, but again, these are confusing times. Well, my feelings are actually a little bit more... I'm not going to call them silly, because they're real feelings, but...

6:24They're not as heavy. They're not as heavy. Well, good. We need silliness. Yes. Okay. Like, in my head based on reality TV. Which I think I need some of. Like, I've got my books, and then I've got my internet. Yeah, you're scrolling. And... You need love as blind. I need... I guess maybe I do need love as blind. Now, correct me if I'm wrong, but the love is blind. I've watched it some, but not a ton, but that's where they sit in rooms, and they can't see each other, and then they... They fall in love. Fall in love. Yeah, it's very awkward. Okay. So, if you're watching the season, and you're not caught up, you might want to fast forward this a little bit. If you are caught up, or you don't watch it, then you're good to go. I will say, I skip through the pod, a lot of the pods, which is that's when they're talking to each other between the wall, because it's very awkward for me to watch. It's almost that kind of cringy. But before I tell why I'm disgusted, let me tell you that the people that go on this show, go on this show to potentially fall in love and get engaged with somebody that

7:28they haven't seen. That is the premise of the show. So I feel like if you're going on this show for authentic reasons, there should be a part of you that is okay with ending up with somebody that looks how whatever, does that kind of make sense? Yeah, I mean, if I'm very vain in one a very specific looking person, this is probably not the way for me to get engaged. Right. Which is fair. It's totally fair for you not to want to do that. I would never have gone on this show. Mostly because I don't want to go on a reality TV show, but so I'm disgusted because this was my favorite couple mind you two episodes ago. This woman, she's 38, she's an internal medicine doctor, she works in a hospital, very successful, very independent, very, like I would say she's beautiful even though it doesn't matter. This engaged to this 33 year old man that, I don't know what he does, but he works out

8:33a lot. It does crossfit in triathlons, triathlons. So they get engaged, they go to Cabo, they blah, blah, blah, they do the whole thing. They look like they're having a great time and then randomly, this literally happens out of nowhere. He leaves for a night, goes and stays somewhere else, comes back the next morning, sits her down and says that he doesn't know that he can be attracted to her physically because he wants somebody, he goes, well, I, I just only date women who go to crossfit or go to Pilates every single day. And so because she doesn't work out every day, but just, he knew that about her because I'm sure when they were in their room, she's like, I don't work out. Yes. Yes. And this should not matter, but I do want to say this because it just bothered me even more. She looks like a very healthy person. Like, if she did go to Pilates every day, I would believe it. Like, so it shouldn't, like, it's very weird, like, he's being very critical and I would

9:33also understand if he was like, I want somebody who is interested in the same things I'm interested in. I want to work out with my partner, like, that's a big part of my life. He knew that before he proposed to her. So that what, and that's also not what he said, he said that he doesn't know if he can be physically attracted to her. But then he goes, I'm willing to try, try to be physically attracted to her. And I am so proud of this woman because I don't know if she's been to therapy before. She just was raised in a very well-adjusted home and has great support in community. But this woman did not skip a beat and basically was like, so you're saying you don't like my body. And she was like, I'm not, I don't want to try. And she was like, this is over, like, I'm not going to try to make you like me when I know that you're not attracted to my body and that's going to make me feel bad about myself. That's going to make me feel like I'm not worthy. So I'm not trying with you. I'm not going to beg somebody to love me.

10:35And I, she just said it so. Yes. Like, and she cried, like, she cried a little bit in that conversation, then she cried afterwards, which is appropriate. My feelings would be hurt, you know? I want to cry, like, but for the, I'm so, while I'm so disgusted that somebody acted like that and spoke like that, also if you want to say that, find a better way to say it. Like, say anything else. What do you think he wanted to come off as a villain to like kind of be remembered as that? He's trying to honestly, yes, because his milk is 15 minutes of fame. That's a really good point. Because his behavior, after this, like kept getting, like, I kept being like, why is nobody stopping him from saying these things? Like it kept getting worse. But as much as I was like, ugh, I hate that this girl had to go through this and that this is on TV and every seen it, I was so grateful that there is a picture that everybody got to see of a woman standing up for herself when she's hearing some of the most hurtful things

11:36somebody can say to her on national TV. But then he goes on to like continue to talk. He acts like he wants to work it out with her. I think, I don't know why, but then he's going around telling everybody that like earmuffs, it was like the worst sex he's ever had in his life. Are you saying earmuffs too? I don't know. No, it's kids around. I don't know if like somebody is listening to the car. We say, hey parents, if you're, I'm about to talk about SCX if the kids are in the C-A-R, but he's like, he says that and then he continues to just berate and be mean and hurtful. I'm like, nobody needs to know that. Yeah, he's trying to be a villain. I did not have that perspective and so that, thank you for that. Oh. Yeah. Well, it sounds like you're disgusted, but you're also proud of her. Yeah. Thanks for bringing that in. So I think you should watch that show. I probably won't, but yeah. It's, I get it. I probably do need a little bit of a distraction, but I have a show I'll tell you about in a minute that's distracting me, except for it's coming out weekly.

12:37So that's killing me. Oh, yeah. Well, I'll say quickly, my other feeling was disappointed because I watched the reality check the Tyra Bank show about America's next top model. And if you think it's her finally coming clean and say, I'm sorry for the things that I did and the world is changing and thank God and we didn't treat people the best way, it's not. It's her like doubling down, blaming other people. And then at the end, this is like the cherry on top. The end of it, she was like, I'm so like proud of myself for being able to like take the criticism and accept my wrongdoings and I hope other people can do as I have done. And I'm like, you didn't do anything. It was like so out of touch. Yeah. She probably has been out of touch for quite some time and people would just double down on stuff. I don't get it. I don't get it. I think she thought she was going to, I think she thought this documentary was going to make her look really good.

13:40You know how like Martha Stewart had that documentary and I'm like, why did she agree to do it? It made her look horrible. I think you think you kind of have a little bit more control. But it ended up being kind of like a hit piece on her. Like she looked bad. There's also this alternate reality that some people live in. Like they're not even seeing what we're seeing. Even if they were to watch it back, like I don't think they would perceive themselves how we do. Like she really thinks that she like accepted her faults and like took responsibility. I can see that. She lives in Australia now. I didn't know that. Tyra Banks are Martha Stewart. Tyra Banks, I don't know where Martha Stewart lives. She could also live there. I'll need to do my own. She is. And I will say one compliment to her, Tyra did look very cool in this trench coat during her interview. And I was very into the style. So there's my one positive. Positive thing. Yeah. Well, speaking of style and looking a certain way, I'm watching Love Story on Hulu.

14:41It's the John F. Kennedy Jr. in Carolyn Bassett story and Carolyn worked at Calvin Klein. And also her fashion was something I guess back in the 90s that women in the 90s would look to her for like her vibe when she started getting in the tablets for dating, John. She just had like this simple, elegant, cool girl style about her like timeless. And that's what I'm watching and I am loving. And it is a good distraction from other things going on in the world, except for the first, like if you haven't started it yet, it's on Hulu and you'll be able to watch. There's four episodes out at this point. But well, yeah, so you're good to four out, but when it first came out, they put two out immediately, or maybe even three, and then you had to wait a week, and then now I've got to wait another week. And they put it out on Thursdays, but Thursdays at 11 p.m. What's the point? What is the exactly? So might as well make it Friday, you know, what is, yeah, that's a tease, that's a tease.

15:45I know. But I think it's 11 p.m. Eastern. So at least if you live in Central or Pacific, you could still watch it. But like, come on, it's stupid. So I'm really enjoying their love story, though, because that's what it's about how they met. And she was, you know, he dated Darryl Hannah. I did not know that from Splash, the mermaid. I don't know what Splash is. Okay. Well, so they were dating whenever he met Carolyn, and she worked at Calvin Klein. He met her at a function, but she just, her whole vibe, so you can have how, you know, interactions with couples and how they behave. Like, he was the bell of the ball, anywhere he walked in, like all heads were turning, everybody wanted his attention, and he was used to getting it. Like as a bachelor, yes, I mean, and he's a Kennedy, and he's very good-looking. Yeah. Very. I mean, I get that this is an actor, like, I need to Google what the actual Johnny Kennedy Junior looks like, but whatever actor they hired for this, he's gorgeous.

16:47Yeah. And I assume they got someone to look as close as possible. So clearly good-looking guy, heads turn, everybody wants to talk to him, and she just was awesome. Like, obviously they're taking some liberties with the script, because they don't know every single interaction and what was said, but it's based on their story. So I'm sure this was her personality, where she just was sort of like, obviously she was excited that he was talking to her, but she played it so hard to get. And he didn't know what to do with that, because he was used to girls just wanting to be with him. If a Kennedy was hitting on you, how would you ask? This Kennedy? Okay. But no. Now I'm taking notes from Carolyn Bissette, I guess I would be like, oh, I've got to work in the morning. So, and he's like, well, can I get your number? And she's like, you know where I work? Stop. Yeah. Well, you don't know if she really did that. Yes, she did. Yes, she did. Because that's what happened.

17:47It's in love story. And that's how it happened, because then he showed up at Calvin Klein, like, so all of this is true. All of this part is a story. This part is 100% true, because I don't know why they would work this into the story line, because it's too detailed, because then he showed up at the Calvin Klein office, and then acted like, okay, I'm going to buy a suit. And then he bought a suit, and then ended up getting to her to go out with him after that. And so I think they probably had that detail correct. Health insurance should make getting care easier, but sometimes it can feel like the opposite. That's why United Healthcare is committed to putting care at the heart of health insurance, with empathy, transparency, and real human connection. I mean, doesn't care feel different when it's personal? When you can tell that the person on the other end of the phone, the screen, and the service, genuinely cares, United Healthcare is working to make that happen every day. They're also helping people make healthcare decisions with confidence, giving them the information that they need to better understand their benefits, costs, and claims.

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22:59It might be Carolyn. I know. I can't think of it right now. Either she had brown hair. Yes. Okay. So I met her at an event that our CEO who lives in New York, he's a CEO of IHR and Bobby and I were invited to this event called Robin Hood. Things where they fundraise money to give to the, like a lot of rich wealthy people are there. And she was there. Like, in fact, my, our CEO made a joke when he invited us. Like something came up about the wealthy people in the room. And Bobby said something like, oh, I think I might be the poorest person here. And our CEO was like, oh, yeah, that's probably accurate. And then I was like, well, hold on a second. No, no, no. Let's clarify. I am. I must be the least wealthy person, least wealthiest person here. How would you say that? That's the poorest, least wealthy. I am the least wealthy here. I don't take that from me.

24:01And then our CEO was like, yeah, for sure. So you met her and talked to her? Yes. So she was there and I went up and I just said hi to her and I, big fan, 99.9% sure. I have a picture with her. I just don't know. I'd have to find it. I want to find it for you now because I know we were outside by the stairs. And I remember being disappointed that the picture was terrible, but I didn't care because I got a picture with the wealthiest person. I wonder if she's going to be in the show because wasn't she. So her name's Carol Radza Will. Radza Will. I don't remember how to say the last name. Well, she was married to the widow of Prince Anthony. Radza Will. I don't know if I'm pronouncing that right. So my whole point of bringing her up is there was a time when I was like, what is the connection? And I started like researching the Kennedys just to see off because their family is I was telling you, I want to read, if I were going to read a like memoir or like just biography of anything, it would be of the Kennedys because I feel like there's so much

25:04information and their family is so well, it seems to be just one tragedy after another. So did you know that there was so John F. Kennedy's sister, he had, I don't know how many siblings there were, but he had a sister. That was deemed mentally unstable. Well, like on what spectrum, because like, I mean, sometimes I am like what's the spectrum? She had mood swings and she was impacting the family's public image. Okay. I would imagine she probably was what they would call it back then. She had hysteria or was histrionic is what they would call women that had like emotions. So I don't know what it was. I haven't, I haven't dug that deep, but so Rosemary Kennedy, one of the sister, so John of Kennedy's sister, the eldest sister, underwent a disastrous secretive lobotomy in 1941

26:13at the age of just 23 arranged by her father. It intended to comfort mood swings and protect the family's image and it left her, this terrible, permanently incapacitated with the mental capacity of a toddler unable to walk or speak coherently at 23. And this was secret, like I had, I wish I could remember all the details of this, but I'm pretty sure they kept her in a home somewhere, like a mental institution, they don't really, we don't have those now to hide her because this was also like, think about if your mood swings are affecting the family's image, the fact that you now are mentally, permanently incapacitated. A 23 year old toddler? Yes, that's also going to look bad on the family, so they hid her. So nobody knew where she was or what happened to nobody, talked to her. So she would have been John of Kennedy, Jr.'s aunt? Yes. So as a young adult, or she was his aunt, but I don't know when she passed away, I don't

27:16have that information. I could find it. But as a young adult, Rosemary exhibited developmental delays, mood swings and rebellious behavior, such as sneaking out of her convent school. Oh my gosh. So you're going to give her, I mean, I'm sure there's details, but like no details, then equal we should drill a hole in your brain. And I know that's what people did back then, which is a good reminder of like how far we've come that when people had mood swings, we would give them lobotomies. The risk there. And like did she want the lobotomy as well? Like I'm thinking like her dad did it, but was she told like, hey, this could help you? And she's like, look, yeah, I would like help too. Like I'm, you know, well, it says that it was the father's decision fearing that her behavior would cause a scandal and harm his political ambitions for his sons. Joseph P. Kennedy, Sr. authorized a prefrontal lobotomy in November, 1941 without consulting her mother. Oh my gosh. That procedure was performed by Dr. Walter Freeman and Dr. James Watts during the operation,

28:19which took place while she was sedated, but awake. Doctors asked her to recite the Lord's Prayer or sing until she became incoherent at which point they stopped. The surgery failed, leaving her with, yeah. Surgery failed. So it had it been successful. I guess I don't know what was the goal. I'm like, what is the goal? You just drill until you think that she's going to stop having mood swings. Like I don't know. It's crazy. But I think that's a good reminder that like before we had information around like trauma and PTSD and all of that, like women were just called dramatic. And like I said, like, yeah, crazy and they're like, she has hysteria and disruptive to the family. Yes. When like, maybe they had trauma or maybe there was other underlining things, but the fact that I don't know anything about the dad. And true transparency, but can you imagine being so concerned about your son's political

29:21careers, that you are going to risk your daughter's life, which maybe that he was promised a different outcome. I don't know what people thought of the bottom is like then. Sure. I mean, you would think, or maybe he's like, it's worth it. Mm-hmm. Worth the risk. Like if you were the mom, how did they get divorced? I mean, probably not. That would not help the family reputation. You're right. And so then yeah, he hid her because yeah. So okay. A little. So love story. They probably don't cover that in that. Well, they haven't yet, but I will say I'm just really enjoying it. I really am. It's a nice, even though it's about a political family, it's a nice distraction from all the political east stuff happening because it's about a little bit at the moment because yeah, you're focusing on a love story and you really feel for him and like this fish bowl that

30:24you haven't gotten to the sad part yet. Well, yeah, but I know what's going to happen. Okay. At least you won't be shocked. No, because that's how the episode starts. If you don't know what we're talking about, and maybe some people don't because the episode actually doesn't give you the conclusion, you just see them doing the activity. Okay. That they're going to go do that results in a tragedy. Yeah. I mean, at first I forgot it was that activity. I don't want to give anything away in case someone wants to start it and they haven't watched it, but the activity that they do, okay, I was going to say if that spoils something and then people... That's their fault. Okay. Spoilal culture is a little like I'm being a little too sensitive to it. Okay. So they're in an airplane, but I thought he was the one that died skiing. Oh, who died skiing? Well, I think one of the Kennedys, that's what I mean. They just have like tragedy. You know what? I would say if a Kennedy were to go after you romantically, they got to pump the brakes.

31:25I don't want you to do that because you're putting yourself in harm's way. I don't even know. I don't even know what Kenned... Like, how would a... I don't know. I don't know. Any degree of separation, I think that if you were this person back then, I would want you to be like, I can't do it. It's not worth it. No, I guarantee you. If I was her back then and you knew life was talking to me, you would be like, Amy, this is so amazing. I can't believe it. But if we knew their family was cursed? Yeah. Well, I don't think a family is... Do you think a family literally can be cursed? I mean, maybe. Yeah. I do. What's being of relationships? I came across something. Dr. Brooks, I believe, and he's a Harvard professor. He shared four things that can fix any marriage. So then I was like, shoot, could these four things have fixed my marriage? Yeah, too bad you didn't have them back then. Too bad I know. I can't wait to hear what these are. And I don't know. And like you being a therapist, I'm curious your thoughts.

32:26You probably wouldn't phrase it like these things will fix your marriage, but maybe they could contribute to a better relationship? Yeah. Well, let's see what they are. Okay. Because he's promising a lot here. Yeah. I came across this video and I thought maybe we could all benefit from knowing these things if we're in a relationship. One. One of four. Start having more fun together. More fun. Less reverence. Well, shoot, Amy, you just should have had more fun in your marriage. Yeah. So if you can do that, then it'll fix your marriage. Two. Fuse your right hemispheres. So do things together like prayer and meditation. Okay. Check. Okay. Okay. They're called to write hemispheres activities. I'm sure you could Google more. Oh, yeah. Do we have, oh, yes, the examples are meditation and prayer. Okay. I contact you whenever you're talking. Like if you were having a conversation with your significant other, look them in the

33:29eyes. I also saw this other thing completely unrelated that you should be going to bed, call it five minutes earlier with your partner and going to bed at the same time and then laying in bed for those five minutes before you read or go to sleep or whatever and just stare at each other. I think I saw something like this. And that feels like something I'm probably not going to do. Oh, well, they said it could just help your relationship just stare at each other. Okay. I did that at a yoga class, not with my partner, but it was an activity that our yoga instructor had us do. We paired up and luckily I got paired with my friend Jackie because I wasn't with a stranger. Another time I had to do it and I had some guy, but for this specific example, I was like so thankful. I was with my friend Jackie because I was having an emotional day. And we had to sit, criss-cross, taposos, and look into each other's eyes as the teacher was like reading something or doing something and we just stared.

34:32And I got emotional. It evoked some sort of a deep connection and emotional thing. I think I would be so uncomfortable during that, which doesn't mean it's bad. I also, this makes me think of another thing of a mutual person that we all know that you all would not agree with what this person's saying. You know what I'm talking about. I know you're talking about what she's saying. So he's someone we don't necessarily show so he says, but he told me some improv class that he took. Like, they would have couples like sit and, or people at the opposite sex, like sit and just stare at each other for a certain amount of time and it would lead to them making out. That's just an excuse for making out with the person that he was an improv class with. I don't know. He was like, it wasn't my fault. We just had to do this exercise and it always results in making out. Okay. So three was make eye contact, okay? And then four is A, B, T. Do you know what A, B, T stands for?

35:37Why does glance down and saw? I'll use a look at my nose. Sorry. Okay. It's boiled it. Always be touching. I like that it's touching and not touching. Always be touching. Well, I'm sure it is touching. He's a Harvard professor, but always be touching. I, A, B, T. I'm down for that one. I'm a big physical touch person. Can I share my thoughts on this list with you? Is that, can I give my feedback now? Is it over? Yeah. Okay. Those are the four. Okay. Undone after A, B, T. I don't think these are necessarily bad things, but I think the list should be renamed like things that could help a relationship be stronger. Instead of things that will save you or save or whatever. It's a little dramatic because that's, if you're having serious problems in a relationship, those things aren't me touching you. It's going to be like, oh, I want to stay with you now. If there's been like, whether it's, what is it you do all four of these things? Like you make sure to do. They could help, but if the relationship is not working, like if you're not compatible

36:40in some way or set, there's been betrayal trauma that that's not going to fix that. But they aren't going to hurt. I think they're like healthy things that you could try. And sometimes if you're in some like a grievance stage, like there are some grievances happening, it's hard to just be like, you know what? Let's just have more fun. Yeah. Right. That one got me. I'm like, okay. If I'm really hurt or have been traumatized by something that's happening in the relationship, I'm not going to be like, let's go on a vacation and go skydiving. I, which, I don't know what, that came to my head because that would not be fun to me. Wait, have you ever gone skydiving? No. No. Okay. No, I never will. I mean, I would recommend it once. I've done it once and I'll never do it again. People die. I mean, rarely. Rarely. No, it's, but people do. I have a friend. People die driving. You drove over here. But I don't need to skydive. I need to drive to get places. I think that I'm not a adrenaline junkie.

37:43I don't enjoy that. I get very anxious. I would be so worried about it that it would not be, you know, that I like to look forward to things, right? This would be the opposite of that. I think you would not be. Right. So why would I risk my life for something I don't really want to do? It'd be one thing if it was like, I really want to do that. That sounds so exciting. I think more people die from skydiving than you realize. I think you're just not in the community. No, what? I guess you're right. I did it for my 30th birthday. If you would have surprised me and done that for my 30th birthday, I would never talk to you again. Really? Or would you not do it? Yeah, I would just be like, no, I'm not doing it. You can't cut me and push me out. Why? No, I, you would know me well enough to not do that though. Health insurance should make getting care easier, but sometimes it can feel like the opposite. That's why United Health Care is committed to putting care at the heart of health insurance

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41:49Also just having a major moment right now, and nothing says spring like adding a pop of colors to your fit with a pastel tabby. Some brands for the men, Reese, and Scotch, and Soda. Those are both great for trend-forward pieces that make work-to-weekend dressing effortless. Also Rod and Gunn stands out for their relaxed, refined pieces inspired by coastal living. So check out Macy's for all things spring. Shop in stores or online at macy's.com. So I have a little story time for you about, no, but just adventurous thing that crossed my path this week. So you know I had, you came over the other day and I was on a Zoom, and I came out. I was like, oh sorry, it ran over, it was like 10 minutes, like, well I was having a meeting with somebody. Guess where they lived. Did I tell you where they lived? Yeah. I think I'm going to tell you where they lived. Okay. Because it's not where I thought they lived. Yes, because I also thought they lived in London. Which I've been to London.

42:49I've never been to France. Well she lives in France and I want to go to France. And she's like, come to France, we can have a meeting and then you can write your trip off. Yes. And I'm like, I've been thinking about that every day since the other day. Where does she live in France? I don't know exactly. But it's not too big of a country. No, I don't. Yeah. I just know you want to get to Paris. Yeah, when you go to Paris, it looks like you go to the South of France, like, but I mean once you get over there traveling is so easy. So I'm sure I would jolt across. So do we need to challenge you to have a business meeting in France? Yes. Okay, when do you want to do this? Perhaps this summer, we, we, you have been wanting and talking about going to Paris since I met you. Yes. So speaking of me, we spend all of our money and go live it up, live it up, maybe even

43:55live in France. Yeah, you might never come back. I saw this other girl post this video of her experience. She was like, hey, I'm just a normal. I went through and like looked at her feed and she was just really sweet like, you know, it's normal girl, but building a platform about her experience living in France and then also in America and how her inflammation was drastically different. Like when she was here, like the way her stomach extends is from being bloated and inflamed and the breakouts, the breakouts, not even just on her face, on her back, her chest. And then she went to France and did she was working there or something and her skin cleared up. She didn't change anything else about her lifestyle, not her working out, not how she eats. I mean, obviously they have different food there and regulations on food and how it can be made and ingredients that can be put in there. But just environmentally, I guess what's being inhaled. Yeah.

44:55And then also consumed like water, I guess, too, and she showed all these side by sides and then when she came back home, everything returned. Oh, the breakouts returned, her bloat returned. And then so since then she's like made her her mission now, she's sort of, I think she maybe even like, I don't know if she had to quit her job or just alter how she does her job, but she's gone back and forth to France and she's doing this deep dive on everything she's consuming and everything she did differently and even bringing food back from France with her to America to see if she eats that food here because then other things are environmental like, what is she drinking, what is she breathing in, living in America? I don't know. That question too. She lives in a big city or is she living like Newark city might be different than the middle of nowhere in Oklahoma, you know, I don't know. Some of those middle and nowhere places are dumping grounds. That's true. Aaron Brockovich. Oh my gosh, I saw her on the Kardashians recently.

45:56The actual Aaron Brockovich. She was on the Kardashians. Yes. Okay. Mind you, I don't know anything about Aaron Brockovich other than Julia Roberts played her in a movie. Then she shows up on the Kardashians and Courtney, who she is an interesting character these days on that show, but she, this was one good thing she was doing as she was trying to help with some of the waste dumping after the fires in their community. They're putting toxic wastes in like landfills where they're all breathing it in. She called in Aaron Brockovich to talk about it with. Nice. So it also makes you wonder what motivated Aaron Brockovich to go on the Kardashians and get that little cameo. Well because now I think she's an expert in, well, yeah, I think the environmental, but I think it's part of me is like, actually, I take this back because of the Kardashians want to be on their show, I probably would just go, yeah, they're like, hey, we're looking

46:58for a therapist. Oh, no, I wouldn't do that. I would not do that. I would never go on any reality show as a therapist or therapist expert. One, I know myself, and I would have some mixed anxiety about how people perceive me. Two, I, there is one therapy show that I think has done a good job and has done well, and I've actually learned a lot from couples therapy. Very good. Have you watched it? Oh, it's so good. And you're just, all you're doing is watching therapy, that's it, and it's like that entertaining. But I'm a therapist, so maybe not everybody thinks it's entertaining, but I think a lot of therapists that go on reality shows to me, it's like, this is, this is, it shouldn't be this way. We shouldn't be able to watch you do this. Unless it's couples therapy. I don't know what they're like, the, whatever it's called, the, what's the word I'm looking, the contract. Contracts?

47:59Yeah. Whatever it is. That allow. My disclosure. Yeah. My one thing is like, as a therapist, how do you rationalize putting people's very confidential personal lives on display for entertainment? So I do even couple of therapy. I'm like, this feels a little like intrusive, but it at least is the way it's done. I feel like it's, I can respect. Okay. Wait. This is not related at all, but maybe think of something you've been invited to, but I don't know if you would say it yet. You know that email, you go, I didn't do it. You didn't do it? Well, it's partly my fault. We don't just say what it's about, but do you want to say the publication that reached out to you or the news? Well, it was a journalist that was writing an article for the New York Times. Okay. So the New York Times didn't reach out to me, but a journalist that was writing for the New York Times reached out to you to contribute, which I think is really cool, but I had, so we scheduled a time. I think she forgot or something. I don't know. And she says she reached back out to me and she was like, oh my gosh, I totally like

49:01spaced. Can we do this in Jamie and other time? And I didn't answer for like two weeks, which I think the time has passed, probably found somebody else because I got so much anxiety about that interview. I was like, I don't know if it's worth it. But I, this was also the time in my life where I did not need any extra stress. So that is kind of what I was saying too earlier about I, because you don't have, you do not have control over how they take your words and use them. Just like you wouldn't have control over how they edit you on a show like that and what pieces they pull out. And so it's not worth it for me. It wouldn't be. But also I say that the Kardashians have never asked me to be on the show. So I can't really answer the question, but I don't think I would do it. But I might be eating my words if five years from now, I'm a main character. They're Kardashians and Catherine or somehow you're on, um, I hope you're not on love as blind because that yeah, you're, you have found the love of your life.

50:03Well, yeah, if you went on to be like a, I don't know if they need like a mental health expert on the show, which they should have therapists on site, but maybe they do. Do you think maybe they do like off camera because just advocates for them? Yes. To be supportive or do these shows they want them to act as unhinged as possible? Yeah. I think they do. Because I mean, that's what's going to get the most attention like what's that other show you love love Island? I wouldn't say I love it. What? Okay. Well, you like it. But I mean, they're there. It's really unhinged and that's like the number one show that a lot. I tried to give it a go and I don't know what it is about these love shows, except for love story. I can't. I guess the love reality show that I'm not able to like get into well love Island. I think I had to watch it start at like three or four times because it is very like, it's weird. I it's very weird. I don't know.

51:03I don't know why I like it. I think you like love love is blind. You've tried love Island. You like love on the spectrum. Oh my gosh. Live on the spectrum. But that's another show that I'm like, oh, like I like the show. This is entertaining. There is a part of it that I think is really helped give more exposure to show people. These are real people. These are real lives. This is what autism can look like. But the same time where it feels kind of icky because we're finding entertainment out of it's like watching, you know, exploiting, exploiting them. Yes. So I have a weird, but also I think so much good. I follow some of the characters from that show. Their lives have been enriched so much by it and they've gotten a lot of good feedback. So I think for the most part, it's worth it for the people that have been on that show. Mm-hmm. Reality TV, man, that's an ethical dilemma. I think I try to avoid thinking about because it's like, yeah, most of this is unethical and I am drawn to it. I mean, if there's an unethical train to get on, that would be the one.

52:06That would be the one. I can make a lot of other unethical, un, un, un, un, why can't I say that word right now? You got it? Okay, hold on. There's a, there is a lot of unethical things happening right now in the world and you're right. That one seems like, yeah, we can do with that. Or do the other things, that's like nothing, but so it's good you have a heart to care about them. You have a heart, can't wait for you to watch love is blind. I can't wait for you to watch love story. I'm going to watch that. I really think you should. Yeah. It's like the one thing every now, Thursday, except for actually Friday. Let's be real. Every Friday. Oh, yeah. Or are you watching it on Friday? Yes. Okay. Friday because I'm not watching it at Thursday at 11 p.m. because I'm asleep, cuddling with my cat. My cat's been cuddling with your cat. Yes. And I hold her like a, what if you squeeze her in your sweaty bear?

53:07She meows. Okay. Well, um, but last night she was purring and I was like, permore, this is healing for me. Like I feel like it was therapeutic for me. You know, they say that a purring cat can heal a bone faster. Yeah. I don't have any broken bones, but it can make your bones stronger. Maybe. Yeah. I don't broken bones, but I just felt like something about this purring might be like just healing for my confusion that I have right now. And I was really loving that she was, because sometimes she's not into cuddling. But if she's really exhausted, she will fight you. She's like, where are down? She's like, really tired. She'll just be like a rag doll and like, let me do whatever. And then I rub her little paws, which made me think, did you ever have a rabbit's foot as a kid? No. What? On a keychain? Because I thought it was gross. Oh. Okay. I know, but it just cracked me out. I know.

54:08Is it a real rabbit's foot feet? Yes. No. I think they're just furry thing. No. They were real. The ones that you get to like the bowling alley? In the little like, I don't know. I thought mine was real. Wait, maybe you bring up a good point that maybe I just thought it was real? I'm just like, where are we getting all these rabbit feet from? Like, that seems kind of crazy to kill all these rabbits and then use their feet as key chains? That's wild. Isn't that kind of crazy? I don't know. I have not. I just always assumed it was real. But it made me think when I was rubbing my cat's paw less than I was like, oh, you know, she probably has like, I don't know. 16 years left if she makes it to 20 and then I'm like, should I, would I take her paw and I have like, you know, like a rabbit's foot and my cat's paw so I could like rub it just the foot. It's very therapeutic and like a little key chain and be good luck. I'm sure people have done that before so I don't want to yuck anybody's yum as I like to say. I just don't know that. Can I like stuff my cat or anything? Well, you're going to have to stuff the foot.

55:09Yeah. Did you see the thing where you could now met him might be doing a thing where you can keep a, a loved, a deceased loved one alive online, like they'll be able to comment on things. I don't like that. I don't either. I did not like that. I know we talked about it on the Bobby bone show and it was like, oh, and then Bobby compared it to like, it kind of feels like stuffing your pet. Like you some things just need to be like, you need to move on, let, you know, you need to warn it and move on. I don't want something to do that to me. Like when I die, let me die. Like don't make a like a AI version of me like that. I then don't have control of it. I feel like that's. I'm telling you though, if I could have a hologram of my mom, I would because some days I just really, like there was a couple of weekends, you know, like it was a Saturday morning and I was having coffee and I just was crying because like I wanted to talk to my mom. And if in that moment, like you couldn't do it all the time because I wouldn't want to like, abuse it. But maybe I had like, you know, like a four pack, like a four pack for the year where I could just, and like my mom would show up, my couch, yeah, she's a hologram that talks.

56:12So it's like she's there, but she's being beamed in and then we have coffee together and I get to like, I get to share with her what's on my mind and what, what I need help with. And then she gets to give me her mom wisdom as a hologram and then prove she goes away. And I don't, I don't, once a quarter, okay, then she can come back. Like I, I, I would take that. I could understand that. I would be okay with it if it was really them. Yeah, it's not real. I mean, it's, you mean if it's a pre-recorded like, no, if like we could get supernatural and like the hologram was them coming down as like them. Okay, you know, I got, because I feel weird about like, I get the emotional part of it. I would want that too. Like I could, I totally, but I'm like, oh, is that fair to my, like, would my mom want a, a not real version of her, but maybe she would.

57:13If it brought comfort to you, she might, maybe you got a release signed by her. Yes. It's too late. My parents have passed. But if like they were to come up with that technology and I fed them all this information. Like, here's what my mom looks like. Here's typically how she behaved and they interviewed multiple people to kind of build like my mom's thinking and the wisdom she would share. Like and then when she, my mom sat down and we're having coffee. Like she just has like some things she could say to me that are comforting. And I know that I can like, talk to her in any given moment. I'm just saying, you know, a four pack of holograms of my mom where, because I don't always need her, but there was this moment like I just was, and I remember being on the phone with my boyfriend, like I called him and he's like, what are you doing? And I was like, and then I started crying. And I was like, I just, I'm having coffee, but I just really wish my mom was here. Yeah. Well, it sounds like they're going to have that eventually. So, yeah, but we're probably not going to be here to see it. I think that could happen in our life. No, we're, what the world might be over.

58:15Remember, we're just going to spend the dollar money. True. Okay. The world feels really, really shaky right now. Hopefully it can hold off so I can make it to France. Yeah, we just need to, well, I don't want to say that, I was about to say, we just need to make it through the summer. I wouldn't like positive. Yeah. Everything's going to be fine. Yeah. I know we're not supposed to say this, but it will all be okay. It will all be okay, but if you're not feeling okay right now, that's okay because it's hard out there. Yeah. It's rough. It's rough out there. And if it's not rough, like tell me what you're doing. Where are you? Where are you? What are you not? What are you watching? I got you talking to Eddie from the Bobby Bone Show about this today. He was like, why? I don't have time to pay attention to any of that. Like I got four kids. Like I'm trying to do this and he's like, I don't want to be stressed by that. And I was like, well, it's not so much about being stressed by it. It's about being informed. Right. So I do think that there's a balance, but like right now, if you're just like, wait, who is that? And I was like, you don't know who this is. This is like the biggest news story ever. I'm not going to put Eddie on blast like Front Street and say every detail.

59:17But let's just say, it's a main character in what's going on right now. Jeffrey Epstein. No, you know, he knows who that is. But he's a main character in that situation. And Eddie's like, what? I don't know if there's this. Part of me was jealous, like, oh, to have that, to where you can just like, not to be a kid right now. It's like where you don't, I mean, a kid kid where like there's like a kid kid. Yeah. You don't have to know. I know, but even like junior high kids are having to worry about certain stuff. Like even with just politically stuff that's going on, like my son, at their school, there was a walk out, like a protest thing. And so all the kids were talking about it, which I think is great to be able to demonstrate your rights peacefully or your beliefs peacefully and whatever. But some people were being completely disrespectful to the others. Like it was almost like the kids, the adults, the kids were acting. How some of the adults are acting. So we can't show respect for like someone who wants to, you know, feel one way respectfully.

1:00:18And you feel that way respectfully. But then the kids were yelling nasty, horrible things. And then it got all the kids fighting. And it was at the high school, but then my son's at the middle school. And then his, they've got siblings at the older school. And then they're starting to fight. And Steven's came over from school like so stressed because one of his friends was like, you know, really, really emotionally impacted by everything that was happening. And he couldn't, I mean, he's, he's in junior high. He didn't even have the words to, to articulate how he was feeling. And some kids were just taking a stance because either it's what they're seeing the older kids do or it's what their parents are saying. Like they don't know why they believe what they're believing. And Stevenson said that he just kept saying to his friend group, he's like, guys, we should let this, let's let the adults worry about this. And I was like, you know what? But that's what, that was a really good response. If you're trying to diffuse a situation where emotions were getting high. And Stevenson even said he had a opinion on something. But then when I asked him why, he couldn't really back it up. And I said, so do you see my point of saying like, y'all are getting your emotions high?

1:01:21And y'all don't even know yet how y'all truly feel about it. And here's the thing, you shouldn't have to know. Right now, go be a kid. Go be a kid. Like, be compassionate towards others, be kind and be a kid. But I love that one of his lines to diffuse it was like, maybe we should let the adults handle that. Meanwhile, the adults can't handle it. And that's right. Like some adults cannot. Yeah. And it was just one of those things where I was like, oh man, I hate that they're having to even, you know, be exposed to this on like his kids. Like you, we had to come home and like turn on the 10 o'clock news to know a lot of what was going on in the world. And now it's... What about five o'clock? I was asleep. Well, I felt like 10 o'clock was like the prime time news. But yeah, you're right. There was five o'clock, six o'clock, seven o'clock rock. Nine to eleven o'clock rock rock. Whatever, you'd have to go home and like turn on the news to know what was happening. And now kids have it in the palm of their hand. And their algorithm is feeding them one narrative or another.

1:02:23And I don't know how I got on that. It's just mostly, yeah, to be a kid right now without a cell phone. Elementary school. Yeah, to be a first grader. To be a toddler. Well, apparently we might just need to like do a quick lobotomy and we'll... Okay, full circle moment. Back to the Kennedys there. So we'd love to hear from you. Um, you can email us. Hey there at FeelingThingsPodcast.com or you can call us and leave us a voicemail 877-207-2077. And we hope you are having the day. You need to have. Bye. We spend so much of our lives switched on. Scrolling, multitasking, reacting. Miravall Resorts is an invitation to unplug and be present. For over 30 years, Miravall has been a global leader in mindfulness and well-being,

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