Facing Denial: Dad's Not Fine, He's Declining

What signs of aging are of concern as we're supporting our senior loved ones? L.E. "Ellie" Brown from Chateau Retirement Communities joins Suzanne to talk about the warning signs and facing up to the various dynamics of denials, not just from ourselves, but also our loved ones.

Ellie shared her personal, family experiences with warning signs. She says, "For my mom, her health was clearly in decline. She wasn't recovering as quickly from colds. She was seemingly depressed at times. So that was a sign to me. Not as vibrant anymore. Then I started hearing about falls, which — she was minimizing the falls. For a long time I found that she was hiding quite a bit of her decline.

"And I'm doing this now with my father, and he would hate to hear this, but I show up early when I tell him I'm going to come visit. When your family member is prepared to see you, they've gotten cleaned up, buttoned up, and they put their package on, because that's your mom or your dad. Their job, in their mind, is to protect you. Also their pride: 'I don't want what's about to happen, to happen to me, where they find out that I actually am declining, and probably looking at the next step.' And then there's the family dynamic: 'That's my child. I don't want to be a burden or a bother.'

"I also don't think we pay enough attention to the appetite and the depression as well, so that these are some significant signs. More doctor visits, more of that kind of thing."

Chateau Retirement provides independent living, assisted living, and memory care services. They have been locally owned and family operated for more than 25 years. Chateau Retirement has three communities in Washington's Seattle/Puget Sound area: Chateau Pacific in Lynnwood, Bothell Landing in Bothell, and Chateau Valley Center in Renton. Visit them online at https://www.chateauretirement.com or call 800.960.1944.

Check out our affiliate podcast Alzheimer’s Speaks: https://alzheimersspeaks.com/