Facing and Accepting Death

0:00What's up? Welcome to the existential stomach podcast. There is a fact of life that we are all going to die. Whether we like it or not, no matter what we do and whether believe it or not, it's happening. So today we're going to talk about death. I'm Danny, everybody ready? What's up, Randy? No, Danny, this is a very appropriate topic because it is something that everyone can relate to, whether we want to or not. Yes. You know what it is weird though? I've always found it like looking back, especially now like 40 years old and whatever, or a little lamb. Looking back, you know, it is weird how like when you're younger, you really don't think you're going to die. Like in there, like in your very like I like when I look at least myself first and like when I look back, I really can't remember like you don't think about it in that sense at all. And maybe it's just because like maybe this because you see people that are older than you. So you like, you know, that assumption that you'll at least make it there and that seems so far away. Because when you're like when you're 10 or even like 18 someone that's 40 seems way older because it's like W or H or four times your age, right?

1:06So it seems like a long time. But then as you go, oh, they're like, yeah, it gets closer. Well, it's definitely one of the benefits of how easy life is nowadays because back in the day, they had all those childhood illnesses. Like you are the fever and dubonic plague and Holy Oh and all this stuff that would just like kill like maybe like one out of three children would actually live. You know, people have like seven or 10 kids and by the time like, you know, they have like three left. When they were older, it's crazy. And like, you know, yeah, I think people were a lot more aware of it too. And probably comfortable. We're not comfortable like accepting a death because it was so regular occurrence. And, you know, and you also have like a town cemetery. So you would, you know, you could literally go walk and visit people when they, you know, on their anniversaries and stuff like easily. Whereas now like, you know, people are sometimes shipped, you know, to a different state or country when they die. You know, it's interesting how we can look at. Yeah. So I was listening to this book called the comfort crisis and interesting book.

2:11But this guy went to Bhutan, which is the country with the highest growth, gross national happiness. Like they don't, they don't look at GNP. They don't care how much they're producing. They're actually like 143 out of 160 or something like that in terms of countries GDP. But they're happiness. They're the happiest country in the world. Really? Yeah. Because all they focus on is quality of life. And what's interesting. But yeah, interestingly enough. So they're a Buddhist country and their life is very centered around death. Like all over on the roads and everything, they have these pyramids that are like little like reminders of death. The people are reminded to think three times every day about their own death, like at morning, afternoon and night. And because they, in the book, he had it said like, I think he was talking with the monk or something like that. And the monk was saying, you know, imagine you're walking down a mountain trail.

3:14And at the end of this trail is a cliff that just drops right off. Okay. That cliff is your death. We're all walking there. Like that's where we're all headed. You have no choice. But what you do have a choice is how you get there. Are you going to take a more scenic route? Are you going to just maybe you can't take a scenic route? Are you going to just enjoy the route you're on while you go there? Or are you just going to close your eyes and keep walking and then eventually get there? But I was listening to that and I was like, yeah, we should definitely talk a bit more about death because it's something that people very rarely talk about. And I mean, it's so crazy because I can remember all the funerals that I've gone to, where it's like very uncomfortable with everybody there. No one really wants to talk about it. You know, especially if it's like an open casket, nobody really wants to go look. And then you don't know how to like help the grieving family or what to say to them. It's just very awkward situation. And people are just like, how soon can I get out of here? Let's go eat. Let's get do something else. So yeah, it's a very uncomfortable situation.

4:16And let's continue to distract ourselves from it. Tantley, it doesn't happen. Yeah. Yeah. You know, it is funny though, because I think that is like that makes sense. If you if you have a whole country where you're reminded to think of it three times a day too, you're living your life with that in mind. That's going to make you choose very differently. I think that's one of the, you know, that's a mistake we make too. In the West, it's like, you know, we, what probably most of the globe, right? We don't think about death at all. We don't accept it. We hardly even want to confront it. And so we allow ourselves to live lifetime in a case. And we get focused on the wrong things because we're not really thinking about, you know, how am I going to enjoy this time? It's this limited time that I have. How can we make it the best? We're thinking about other metrics that have nothing to do with that. You know, how can I have the most or how can I be the quick, you know, whatever like these things that don't matter. Ultimately, in the end, that you can't take with you. Can't take any of that stuff with you. So it's like, yeah, that makes a lot of sense. Yeah. And it's like, it's crazy because we have this like the same way that we chase money.

5:20How we think like, oh, if I have more money, then I'll be happier. We chase longer lives because we're like, oh, if I have a longer life, then that'll be better. But it's like, if you're not enjoying it, what's the point? Like whether you die today or whether you die a hundred years from now, if it's a terrible life, I would prefer to go today. Like, wait, and you know, it's funny to like year old time. Like, you know, it's still even the way we talk about like illness, right? Like when people are told my illness, they have to find it and they have to keep fighting it. And like one thing that does is it gives the hospitals a ton of money. It does not, I mean, and, and you know, statistically, it does not increase quality of life because, you know, there's plenty of people where, you know, in their 70s, they're getting chemo, it makes the rest of their life worse. And they still die. It doesn't like make it any better, but you know, somebody makes a lot of money. But you know, that idea of fighting it constantly fighting it, you know, constantly trying to find ways around it. It's like, we're so against even like approaching the subject that like, it has to be something we're constantly pushing back against. You know, or we're losing. And it's really weird.

6:21I'm glad you brought that up. There was a book that I just finished called, I forget the name of it. I'll come back to that one. But there's another book by a tool go on. Oh, yeah, Outlive. I think that was an end of it. Outlive by Peter O'Hara. Who talks about how, yes, like now with all these medical things, we have a longer life. But the quality of life for the end of it is just terrible. It's because we didn't take care of ourselves the whole time until we got to the breaking point. And then we just have a longer life, but it sucks. So there's no point in, I mean, to me, at least there's no point really sending that. And then a tool go on has a book talking about end of life care. How like all these things that we do at the end of life don't make our quality of life any better. Yeah. If people just have, if they, if they will spend time with loved ones, if they get some pain medication and just have hospice care, like that's way better than all these experimental treatments and life extensions that just make them in pain for a lot longer. And stuck in the hospital usually for a long period. Yeah, it's crazy actually when you think about it.

7:22But you know, it's how it's sold to us, right? Because throughout your life, whenever you have a problem, they tell you to take the easy way here. Take this pill instead of doing things like exercising or like focusing on mental health. And then you get to the end and that's all you know how to do, right? It's crazy because like, you know, no doctor will say, you know, there's actually something out there that's better than any pill you could find. It's called exercise. And people are like, no, no, forget that. But it's after that. Like pills may make things marginally a little bit better until you get addicted to them or whatever the consequences of them are. But exercise is better than pretty much anything else you can do. Yeah. And like, you know, well, you know, it's funny because like, I've been thinking about that a lot. You know, it's like, you know, it has a good older, you know, you want to stay in shape because like they've already shown, like exercise and increase your new neuron growth and stuff. Right? Obviously makes you, you know, healthier, long term, you can more flexibility and stuff. It's just better, right? And like, but you got to start early.

8:23You can't start super late because you don't have anything, any foundation there to help you. So it's like, yeah, where you're still very bad messages, I think, on death. And nobody really talks about it at all. Yeah. Like basically whatever you can do now physically is the best you're ever going to be unless you're putting in a lot of effort to get better. That's the frightening thing that nobody tells you. Yeah, it's kind of true. And it doesn't take that much either. You know, that's the funny thing. It only takes, I mean, it most like, you know, half an hour a day, you're good. And that's a lot better than nothing. And I think, gotta look at it that way too. But I think that's true. If you thought about the end, people would be more motivated probably to do this stuff if we thought about it more often. Well, talking about thinking about the end, I thought that it would be fun if we talked about how we'd like to die, what we want our funerals to be like, what we're scared of with death, how to prepare for death, those types of things. Get personal. Okay. How often do people talk about this personal stuff? Let's talk about it. Yeah.

9:24You know how you move it? So like, obviously, obviously, I mean, the chances of you actually dying, how you want to die is whatever. But if you could die, really how I want to die. Like if you could, if you could choose, like if you had your luxury destination, destination, what would that be? I guess, you know, I mean, if I had to choose, I guess I would, I would prefer if it was like, you know, not, I mean, like, you know, relatively peaceful, I guess. I never really thought about how the literal how I would assume that would just happen. You know, I mean, ideally, I guess, you know, it would be nice if it was like, you know, it would be nice if it was like kind of like in your sleep or like quietly, you know, not in pain, not in aggressive pain, not in like a horrible accident or something, where there's a lot of like maybe potential pain, you know, that kind of thing. I guess that would be my idea. I never really thought about the actual, like how it would actually have. And I was assumed to happen. But it's a good assumption.

10:24But yeah, like, like, you know, like, you know, like going to your sleep or something or just like, you know, I guess old age would be nice if you were still like helping up and like something happened. That was like kind of like quick, we're be good. I definitely don't want to end in a hospital like I do not want to be not. That's one thing I do for certain. I do know I'm going to be a hospital and I know same with me, like, hospice carrot home, give me some drugs and just let me, you know, take the pain away, but definitely not in the hospital. I would, I was just thinking right now, like, Tyrion Lannister from Game of Thrones. Somebody was like, how do you want to die? And he's like, well, preferably surrounded by a scant like clad woman with a goblet of wine or something like that. And that's pretty much how I'd like to go. Like, if I could, if I could plan it, yeah, in bed with a beautiful girl and just like, I'm out immediately and she doesn't care. That's like the best. That would be nice. Yeah. No like, no like, no heart, no terrible like emotional scarring or anything. Left on the other person. Yeah, that would be awesome.

11:25Yeah, so, uh, have you ever thought about your funeral? Yes. Don't care. Oh, okay. That's interesting. That's interesting. Yeah, because I was thinking about this the other day, like I do, I did make a will. I haven't yet gotten it notarized because that's like, I feel like I haven't done it yet because that's me procrastinating. I feel like that's like saying I'm definitely going to die when really I'm just diluting myself that I'm really going to die anyways. That's official. Once I sign this document, then I'm definitely dying. If I put off signing it, we're okay. But so like I do, I do have a little funeral, but I think about it because like, I'm going to be dead. It doesn't matter. And honestly, I'd like it, I'd like it to affect the least amount of people possible. You know, like, I don't want to have a whole bunch of people coming out of their way to come celebrate my death because it's like if they didn't celebrate my life, why bother when I'm dead? That's not going to do anything for me. Like, maybe they'll get some closure, but it would just be better off if they heard about

12:28and they were like, oh, yeah, he was a good guy. All right. Shane, he's dead. Yeah, I mean, that's why he said the right. Oh, my partner said, you know, I don't really care like, honestly, you could throw me in a ditch upside down. I really don't care what you do. It doesn't matter to me at all. And I mean, you know, there's ways to do it that are helpful. And you know, you could do, you know, um, and it's just really, I think that more depends, I think that more depends on the people that are left and what kind of closure they want. And I think leaving it open is nice because you leave it open for them to kind of decide like, what kind of closure they want would be helpful for them. You know, I don't really care. Yeah. Yeah. So I actually did in my will, I did write something a bit like out there. Cause I don't, I don't want to be buried in a coffin or anything like that because there's no reason to preserve my bones forever. They have these green here. They have those green ones now where you get buried under a tree and like a blanket and like they ran a tree. Do you ever hear those? I did not. That's a, that's a new thing now too because you know, like cemetery is used a lot of space.

13:30And like it's actually like, you know, you're putting for modified and by this is not going to begin with and then you have all this other crap. So they just like wrap you basically in a sheet. It's like old style. Put you in the ground. There's no chemicals in the stuff and then they can't tree over you with something. Uh, that's not as pretty cool. And then they can reuse the space you know, after time. Sorry. Uh-huh. Did you ever see the movie Do Date with Zach Alfonakis and Robert Downey Jr? Part of the whole thing. It's kind of like planes, trains and automobiles, but a modern version of it. But anyways, so in the movie, Zach Alfonakis's dad dies and he's keeping his ashes in a coffee can. And he doesn't want to get rid of him. Like he keeps saying, he'll like dump him in the Mississippi river because he loves like carbs and hookers or something like that. And like he never, he never actually does it. And then there's a very touching moment at the end of the movie where like, he releases his dad's ashes into the Grand Canyon. You see like them going away in the in the wind. And I was like, that would be really cool.

14:31Place spurt in this guy by Norman Greenbaum and just toss my ashes to the wind. And that would be a cool way to go. There you go. So that's yeah, that's the that's in my will for if I actually ever get that signed and then go on to die that way. There you go. Creamation's good to go too because it doesn't pick up a lot of space. Oh, it's you know, it's easy. Mm hmm. That's the other thing. Yeah, I don't I never really like personally. It's just personal. I never like those cast it. Well, do you know, like, you know, I do not want to remember someone when they're freaking dead. Well, that's I've seen I've seen so many dead animals and their faces are all like like in terrible positions because they died the night before and then the person brings them in the morning. And it's like, that's not how you want to remember. And we're going to say it's in the middle. And you know, I never liked it too because it like, like, no matter how good a job the people do that are handling it. Like you don't look the same dude. Like, and they always look like cartoon to me or something or like old-fashioned, but it's also like.

15:33Yeah, it's just I'd rather have the image of the person in my mind, not that. And that then overtakes that image in a way. You know what I mean? Sorry to get by it. You want to hear the worst story? Yeah, sure. Okay, so one like Saturday or Sunday morning, I went into the clinic that I was the vet clinic that I was working at. And I was like, who brought barbecue? And it's freaking terrible. These pets got caught in a house fire. But literally it literally smelled like barbecue in the in the clinic. That was terrible. That's that's horrible. Yeah, you're gonna tell me that's hard to deal with. That's a lot. Yeah, death is death sucks and like, oh my gosh. Yeah, deal with it sucks. Well, that's the thing about the modern world, right? It's like, you know, if you go back back in the day, you know, your pets died, you had to deal with it. I even remember when I was younger with family died, you had to deal with it.

16:34That's my name. That's my name. You were taking care of them until they died. I literally, yeah, I was going to say that to you. Like, you know, we were so close to it because it was a part of like every day life we had to handle it. There might be somebody in town that falls for like emergency, but they're not going to do anything for that. You buried them. You took care of everything, same with your pets. And like now there's there's somebody you go to, there's services. There's like, you know, where you just take it and you kind of forget about it, so you're always removed from it. Just like, you know, in the same way that we're removed from like, you know, we go to the grocery store to buy meat. You don't see the cow. You see everything free packaged. It's like, you can totally disassociate it from the animal, you know what I mean? And it's like, I think that's very strange that we've done that, but we've, it's made things easier, but at the same time, it's made us, I think, very naive about the reality of life, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's interesting. That was mentioned in the book, the comfort crisis, how, you know, a lot of people have something against something. And, you know, I'll be honest, I have a very strong thing against killing other creatures,

17:36because I had to do it a shitload and I don't like doing it. But it turns out to be you do it. Well, it turns out that like the majority of vegans and vegetarians live in societies where they don't have to actually, where they just go to a supermarket and can buy meat. People who actually live in nature where you have to like go and find it. Yeah, they prefer to eat meat because it's high. It's more colorically dense. But we also just gonna starve. And like if you go up to places like Alaska, like you get more from the animal too, they use other stuff from it. And like, you know, there's a difference to like, you know, sport hunting, like totally against the like, if it's necessity hunting, that's different. Like you are using it at least and it's like, you know, that's the same as like raising something and you're in, I guess, and then eating it. But yeah, yeah, we're so far removed from it. It's crazy. It's really interesting. Really weird. So anything that scares you about that?

18:38I'm not from dying. I guess mostly like the, you know, the physicality of it, right? Like the, the what you might go through or we actually scares me the most is the potential for it. Not necessarily dying, but the deterioration beforehand. Because I think one of my biggest fears is two of my biggest fears are losing my mind. So, you know, bad dimensions, something like that, or being in a coma. Because I have really bad, I've had my whole life really bad, I'm sleep paralysis, which I get often. And that has made me so afraid of a coma. It's a bit, you know, terrifying to be like that, which is horrible. So yeah, yeah, I don't want to, I'm like, if you're in a coma, do you think you realize it or not? I don't know, but I realize it when I have sleep paralysis. So that's what makes me afraid of a coma, if that makes sense.

19:39Yeah, yeah, definitely. Yeah, that would suck if you were in a coma and you knew about it. Yeah. And you're like, you're like a mom trying to get out of the box. Well, it feels like you have sleep paralysis. You, you, you're paralyzed, but you also hallucinate. So it's like really weird and you, you feel trapped. Sometimes it's like, you know, some, you held down or something and tied, you know, there's all kinds of weird things that happen. But yeah, it's, it's crazy. It's sucks. Yes, that does hurt me too. Well, yeah, no, I mean, I mean, you know, I think reading the philosophy for so long is helpful. A lot. And I think, you know, one of the things I've always liked is the existentialism. You know, they focus on the fact that we just have one life and we're going to die. And that can be, that can be scary, but I think when you accept it, it can also be free. Because it's like, you know, oh, I have one chance. And I'm going to go so who cares? Like you can kind of live it however you want, because the reality is is, this ends. There's nothing.

20:39Yeah, there's nothing that's going to like, it's not like it's on repeat. It's not like it goes on forever. Try to live your best life because you're one shot. If it is limited time and you know, do it, you know, what's right for you. Don't, don't leave for other stuff. You know, because it's like, you don't know what's going to happen. Yeah, that was always helpful. Yeah. Yeah, for me, I'm scared of, like, some type of long drawn out death, like particularly torture or something like that, I think that would be absolutely terrible. Both of that doesn't happen. Yeah, I know, right? But like, that would be, that would be terrible. Or being like overly dependent upon others, like I get it as you get older, sometimes you have to, but that just like, I would find that really difficult because I have a hard time asking for help from others. Yeah. And it'll probably be like one final life lesson where I have to be very dependent upon others and that's like my final breakthrough in life, but I really don't want that. No, no, I don't want that either.

21:41You know, it's funny is the, when I eat to teach biomedical ethics a lot, like, the Netherlands, they have a bailout after the Tunisia, so you can get, you know, you can request it. And so when they have, when people going with long-term illness and stuff, death is always on the table and it's an option, whereas like, you know, here, if you go to the hospital here, and you have a long-term illness, that's not an option. You can't request that you just be even. So they said, and you have to go through hurdles to get freaking pain drugs so that you can just be like knocked out because doctors were prescribing that stuff too heavily and now they don't prescribe it at all. Yeah, now we go to reverse, right? So now we totally turn it back. Yeah, anyway, but so one of the things they found that was like in that country, like the end of life here are like way better because people have, instead of having no choice, you have autonomy. Whereas like, I think that's one of my other fears here is like, you just stuck in the hospital, it's like you lose all your, you lose all like, power-make choices to something to think, especially if you are older and like you're sick and like you're not like conscious all the time and stuff,

22:44they just do do you, and I don't want that to happen either. Because I think you lose all your choice. You know, it's not your life anymore. It's somebody else's. Yeah, I remember like when I was when I was young, my grandmother was in the hospital and like she fell and hit her head. So people weren't sure if she was like really there, but like one time we were talking and I was young. So I don't, there wasn't anything that I could really do. I was like less than 18, I think, but she was like, you gotta get me out of here. Like, help me. And I was like, what am I supposed to do? Like, how do I, how have I been deal with this? And yeah, it's just crazy. Because you're effectively trapped, though. And that's the crazy part. And they can just like override your decisions and saying it, they just think you're not with it. Yeah, you're just scared. So that's another thing. Yeah, no one's got to happen either. Yeah. So what, so like we talk about death, what, what are you, how does knowing about your own death make you live a better life?

23:50I think you just, personally, not, not like this theoretical thing. Cause I'm saying you, Danny, I've known about your death, help with your life. And then you can ask me the same question or if you want, you can ask me first. No, I'm alien. It's just fine. Okay. I think it helps. I think it helps me stay focused on living a better life and living my best life and living my own life. Because if you're not aware of it, if you think you have forever, you put things off. It's like that whole problem, like, you know, when you think you have forever, you know, with time, you just can, you can just put things off the procrastinate. You can do things you don't want to do or like, you know, you can settle for things because you think, well, I can always change it later. And to some extent, that is true. Like, yeah, you can always change something later. But the longer you wait, the less the later you have and less opportunities you have to do that. So I think it adds a sense of not like, I want to say, immediacy, but not in a bad way of like, you know, you should live your life. And it's so easy to forget.

24:52Like, I notice even myself, like, you have to remind yourself all the time. I think that three times a day is a smart thing because it's very easy for us as like, you know, conscious beings. We don't think of that like all the time. So it's easy to kind of forget it and then your decision making can go right. So you have to kind of remind yourself of, but I think it can be very helpful for just being yourself, being who you are and being more true to like, what matters to you. What about you? Yes. Yeah. I mean, similarly, it's kind of doing this stuff. Like, I don't really have a bucket list. Like on a regular, because it is stupid. It is stupid. Like, I told you the story about the dude who's like 80 something years old. And I was going to do this past year something that's on his bucket list. And I was like, well, it happens this weekend. Let's go. And he's like, oh, I can't this weekend. I'm like, dude, like, I didn't say it to him, but I'm thinking. How many world do you think it is? Yeah. Yeah, I know, right?

25:52So, but it's like every once in a while, I try and sit down like what type of things would I do? I really want to do in my life. But I'm pretty active doing them because if I don't do them now, then when? Because it's, I mean, it's easy to think like I'm going to die someday. But that's not true. I could literally die today. Yeah. And that's like, that's one thing that I try, or my myself, is like, you know, if I died today, would I be happy with my life so far? If I was going to die in six months from now, what would I do differently? You know, knowing that I'm eventually going to walk off that cliff and die, what do I need to get done in my life? Who do I need to be? Yeah, that's a good one though. I like that because you're right. You know, it is even more aware of it. It can still seem so far off that it can still be, you know, it's so distant that you don't even like, or you think it's so distant. It's not a media. Yeah, I think I like that. That is true.

26:53You know, in it is a case, you don't know what's going to happen. And also, like, I find that it helps me with relationships because, like, especially when people are getting older, friends and family, as they get older, because somebody will say, like, oh, they're not doing so well. Is there anything you want to say to them? And I'm like, no, like, I treat every interaction I have with them as if it could be the last, because it could very well be the last. But like, some people are holding off, like, not saying the things they want to say until the deathbed confession. And it's like, why, if you wait, you're only going to kick yourself later. So you might as well have those conversations now. Let them know how much they mean to you. Talk out whatever things you need to talk out with them. Who knows how long you got? No, that's true, right? And I think that's also another thing that gets in the way of so many of our personal relationships and stuff is this semblance of time and I'll deal with it later. Because things are hard and we don't want to do all of them. So we push them off and I think it makes things more pressing and more important to do now. And I think maybe that's it too.

27:53It makes you more present. Because if it can happen at any moment, you kind of have to be more conscious of what you're doing and aware when you're doing it rather than wasting time. It is hard. It's like, you know, we all want to live a good life that there's no like, there's no like, you know, guide books on how to do that. And I think it's different to everybody. So you have to kind of be aware of it. Your life has, you know, it's not forever. And you don't have infinite time because then you make the right choices, hopefully. Or at least you're motivated to make the right. Okay, I got a question. Maybe a difficult question to answer. But if you were to die in a week, what would you do this week that would be like, freaking awesome? Something that would just be like, ah, yes. I know what mine is. I'll just say it because while you're thinking.

28:55So like, I say this because mine is kind of like pretty lame. Like other people might be like, oh, I'd go travel to Paris or like, I'd go hike the mountain. I'd have a giant freaking pizza and a big thing of ice cream. And that would be it. All right. And like cheese puffs and goldfish. And that would be an iced tea. Yeah, I would just, I would just pick out for that right until I felt sick. And then that would be it. And I'd be like, okay, kill me now. Yeah, I don't know. I don't really change that much. I guess I wouldn't go to work and I would, you know, I would like to go. I don't know. Maybe like, I'd like to go to maybe, I don't know. Somewhere maybe like a last year or something would be cool. But like, you know, somebody died. I don't know. I don't know that I would go anywhere though. I probably would. I don't know. I probably hang out with people. It's tough. It is hard to say. But I think that's a good, that is a good like, thinking like that is a good way to find out like things you want to do,

29:56or things you're not doing now. I feel like I'm doing a lot of things I wanted to do now. So it's good. But I think this is the point, right? If you think about it more, get to a point where you're doing things that you want to do. And your life is just like, you have a better mentality about life as well. You know, it's, it's funny too. Because like, I just would want to read this thing a lot. I think it's MIT that they found out how to like, reverse, might say, is age. Literally, they can like, click, uh, like God knows what it does, the psychology of the might. But they found out they can like, literally, reverse their age like, by half. And like, you know, talking about this now. It'd be like Benjamin Button-Mice. But then like, and apparently like, as far as I've read and what they understand, like it doesn't cause any like major problems that they know of, yeah, or anything. But like, they've had this male-slippin' like, way more that it should be alive. But she knows what that does, believe. You know, this whole idea of like fighting it, but like, do we even want that? Do you want a world of people that don't go?

30:58I mean, it's already overcrowded. Like, it's kind of funny when you think about it, but like, what good does that do us, you know? Like, in some sense, and if it's last forever, you know, do you have any reason to live? You know, it's every point. Yeah, I remember, I heard this quote the other day, that like a rose would be the most annoying weed if it didn't die. Because it's got all those thorns and stuff. Like, sure, it smells great and it looks pretty, but it's got all those thorns. And if it never dies, you're just going to have these thorn bushes all over the place. So like, it's the same thing with people. Could you even imagine if people didn't die? Am I good enough? Yeah. And like, I could imagine like, it's like, you know, you're trying to, I don't know, like, because I, I, or, you know, if someone was talking about space travel and they're saying, you know, we really want to travel space. We need to just not only engineer people, right? So that they can handle it and launch it. And like, that might be something you use for that case, right? We're here to go somewhere far or something, but like, otherwise, and who knows about psychology? And that's that aside, it might make you totally crazy doing that to yourself.

32:00Oh my gosh. Yeah, totally. But that's like another thing of constantly trying to fight it rather than just facing the fact that it's part of it. Everything else does. Yeah. I mean, how, like, you have to wonder how good are some people's lives that they want to live forever? Like, could it possibly be that good? They don't have any problems. I mean, aside, aside from freaking Matthew McConaughey, like, whose life is that good that they want to live forever? You had a one-hearted year. Yeah, that's the other thing, right? It's like, I don't know. It's funny. Like, isn't it? I think that's always part of what makes it so valuable as that's not forever. It is short. And it can be hard because it can be, you know, in some cases, it can be really short and that's a shame, but like, yeah, that should give us motivation to do our best. Now, here's an interesting thing that was in the book The Comfort Crisis, this kind of eye-opening as to how impactful our lives are.

33:00So, if you plot using the calendar year, the whole entire history of the universe. Okay. So in one year. Yeah, in one year, humans do not come in until December 31st at 1259 and 33 seconds. That's all of humanity. It's like 37 seconds. Or not, 27 seconds. Yeah, that's all of humanity in the course of the universe. So like, thinking that you matter and that your life is great, you're just kind of deceiving yourself. Well, that's the only thing too. I think that thinking about death can be very helpful because it also makes you not take stuff so seriously and gives you perspective on what really matters. You know, like, does this stuff matter? No, because, you know, can't take it with you. It's all going to be gone. And chances are, even if you are remembered,

34:01you don't know it. So it doesn't matter. You know, like, yeah. And most of that's like a happenstance of like a lot of sort, you know, it's circumstantial and you know, has nothing to do with what you did usually. It's just, it is what it is, right? You know, if you look a lot like ancient authors, a lot of them we know about just because there's stuff survived, you know, for whatever reason. It, you know, it might not be that they were the best. It might be that they just happened. Their stuff happened. You know, it exists now or is it still a stand, you know? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Yeah. So that's pretty much all I had to say about death. Anything else you have to say about death? I think you should think about it. Yeah. It's a good thing to think about. It does make sense. Be aware. Yeah. And it's, you know, I think if we think about more too, we'll be better at dealing with other people's and, you know, and things close to us when they die. You know, better about it. Right. So I was also an interesting thing. I was also listening to this book called, I don't want to talk about it. It's like about male depression. And how men are not allowed to be depressed. But, yeah.

35:02According to, oh, so like interesting thing from this book is like they were, they were like interviewing male and female college students. And when the female students admitted to their roommate that they were depressed, they got a whole bunch of compassion. And like they're, you know, their community got closer. When male college students admitted to their roommate that they were depressed, they got ostracized. So like, you're dead of here. I know. You're dead of here. But, uh, so like they were talking about how like male, uh, depression is very underdiagnosed because it's not generally what you see. We're not allowed to do it all at different stuff. But one of the four things that needs to be done in the DSM-4 in order to be considered depression is thinking about death on a regular basis for like a two week period. And I'm like, but hang on. Like that's also how you can have a really good life. That's funny. Wait till like, do you mean thinking about death

36:03and it's like ending it or like just death? I think probably like death and suicide and ending it. Oh, okay. But I was also thinking because it's also very helpful to think about death in terms of like, it's going to happen. So how do I make the best of my life? Oh, and those are two different, very different ways of thinking about it too, you know? Yeah. Like, there's a big difference between thinking about wanting it to end versus their recognition that it will happen. You know, I mean, that's a big difference. And I think, you know, making that distinction is important too. Man, there's also a big difference between wanting to die and not wanting to live. Like sometimes whatever you're going through in life is just too painful and you don't feel like living. Like that happens all the fricking time. But if the pain was removed, you'd probably want to live. Whereas like, that's totally different from wanting to die actively. Yeah. Yeah. There you have it. There you have it. That's death. That is death. So there you have it. That's death. Thanks for listening. Check us out on YouTube or wherever you get your podcast.

37:03I'm like, you do this thing about the thing of it. And if you guys have a few minutes, we have a questionnaire down below. We're looking to develop something that's going to help you have the best year of your life. If you would give us a couple of minutes of your input, when we do have it created, you will get it for absolutely free. So there's a link down in the show notes or the description. Take a couple of minutes to help us out there. Oh, that was a lot better. Also. Please like, share, subscribe, and helps us out a lot. We'll back later this week with a quick fix. Until then, later. Later, Dan.