Arique Dross: Custody Rights, and When Your Ex Won't Comply

Arique Dross was ten when he was removed from his mother and placed in foster care. He would go through about two dozen homes, and a stint at Rikers, before he became the family lawyer he is now.

Arique Dross is a New York attorney with his own Manhattan firm, handling custody, visitation, child abuse and neglect, orders of protection, and juvenile matters. His path was anything but linear: split from his siblings in foster care, arrested young, and facing years in prison before he changed course, went to law school, and took his first job prosecuting child-abuse cases because he wanted to be a voice for kids who, like him, never felt heard. He describes that history as both a shield and a sword in the way he advocates.

In this conversation, Arique and Lisa talk about why family court so often makes things worse, and how to stay out of it safely when you can. He walks through the outdated tender years doctrine and why both parents now start on equal footing, unpacks the misconception behind the "father's rights" label, and is honest about how hard parental alienation is to prove when the conduct happens behind closed doors.

They also get concrete about the delays that define these cases: adjournments months apart, a child who slowly becomes a stranger, and a court's limited interim options, including a therapeutic-visitation waitlist. Arique lays out real remedies: contempt when an ex won't follow the plan, makeup time, and an emergency habeas petition that gets a withheld child back in front of a judge in days rather than months. He closes on a hard truth in his work: some family fractures outlast the lawyers, the judge, and the case itself.

As always, this is strategic education, not legal or mental-health advice for your specific situation.

🎓 What you'll learn

• Why family court "brings your problems to your front door," and when to resolve outside it
• What the outdated "tender years doctrine" was, and why both parents now start equal
• Where the "father's rights" label comes from, and what the law actually says
• Why parental alienation is so hard to prove, and what mental-health experts add
• Why every month of delay in a withheld-child case is time that can't be made back
• What a court can and can't do in the interim, including therapeutic visitation
• How contempt works when an ex won't follow the parenting plan, and what relief to ask for
• The emergency habeas petition for a child who isn't returned, heard in days not months

⏱️ Chapters
0:00 Intro
1:00 Why staying out of family court matters, and making a safety plan
5:00 From foster care and Rikers to family law
9:00 Watching domestic violence as a child, a "shield and a sword"
13:00 When an order of protection gets weaponized
15:00 The tender years doctrine, and why both parents start equal
19:00 "Father's rights," weekend fathers, and a common misconception
25:00 Why kids need both parents, when it's safe
27:00 Why alienation is hard to prove, and the cost of every delay
35:00 Contempt when an ex won't follow the order, and makeup time
43:00 The emergency habeas petition, and enforcing your custody order

Keep going 💜
Book a free 30-minute discovery call and we'll help you map your next steps: https://beentheregotout.com/call
📘 Been There Got Out: Toxic Relationships, High-Conflict Divorce, and How to Stay Sane Under Insane Circumstances — https://www.amazon.com/dp/194627495X
📘 Been There Got Out: When Your Ex Turns the Kids Against You (our parental-alienation book) — https://www.amazon.com/dp/1967674183
🔗 Arique Dross at The Dross Law Firm: https://www.thedrosslawfirm.com/
🔗 The Dross Law Firm on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedrosslawfirm/

About Been There Got Out
Chris Barry and Lisa Johnson are high-conflict divorce, custody, and co-parenting strategists, and the founders of Been There Got Out. They know these cases from the inside: both have successfully represented themselves in family court. Few attorneys have a playbook for a case like this — Chris and Lisa write yours with you, so you and your kids can get through it as unscathed as possible.