EP676- Become So Disciplined It Scares You (In 30 Days)

0:00Woo! And now Call the Seval! There's a version of you that you haven't met yet. A version so dialed, so relentless and so successful. That if you met him today, you'd be scared. Today I'm proud to say that I have become that version of myself. 11 years ago I was popping perks like candy We're gonna dead end job losing myself, but I knew deep down that I wanted more. In this video I'm gonna bring out that version of yourself. So you can become so disciplined that it scares you. Starting with stage number one. You have to get honest with how weak you actually are. I always thought I was disciplined. I thought I was a person that was the hardest worker. That was someone that could be admired. However, I was disciplined in these simplistic things, but not in the things that actually mattered. I was disciplined in showing up to work on time. I was disciplined in working my butt off at work. I was disciplined in making sure that I performed for the paycheck that I needed at the end of the month,

1:03but I was undisciplined in the actions after work. I was just damaging myself. I would go to the gym, but I wouldn't actually try and put any effort in. I would have fast my nutrition because I didn't really think that it mattered. I would drink on a daily basis. Until the bar closed, I was consistently eating percassette or other drugs because I needed to numb the emotions in the back of my mind. I was undisciplined with the habits that I didn't know were damaging me, even though I knew, but I wanted to avoid the thought process of it. True discipline is doing things you hate like you love it, where if you think you're disciplined, but you only show up when it is convenient for you, you aren't actually disciplined. We all know this one guy at the gym that is there every single day for anywhere from one to two hours, but they've looked the same for the last two plus years. Why? Because even though he is disciplined to show up in the gym, he is not disciplined in his effort. He is not disciplined in his output. He is not disciplined in his nutrition. So he's in the gym, but he's in the gym on his phone. He's in the gym, but he's in the gym not doing what is necessary. So he defines himself as a disciplined person, but none of us would want to trade lives with that person because he has not changed,

2:06he has not grown, and he is not doing anything to actually display true discipline. Or he could be in great shape, and he could be incredibly disciplined in the gym. But outside of those walls, he is an undisciplined person. He's not good to his family, he's not good to his friends, he's not great at work. So he's very disciplined in one medial area, but he is not that person in all areas of life. I was that person. I was disciplined in one perspective area, which was work. When I showed up to work, I was the hardest worker there. I would skip breaks and not eat so I could work harder. I would push the barrier and stay later so I could work harder and get the task done. But outside of work, I was extremely undisciplined. I was mean to women, I was mean to random people, I was not a nice person to be around, I was an alcoholic, a drug addict, I was a fucking loser in all perspective words, but when I was on that job site, I was the disciplined person that I wanted to be seen as. To become the person worthy of achieving your dreams instead of just talking about them for years, you need to get honest with what you're avoiding. You might be incredibly disciplined in these four walls, whether it's your job or your relationship or the gym,

3:10but the thing that you always avoid, the work that is hard for you to do is what you need to get real with. I was a weak human being. I was a person that you should not have admired in the past, because I was only focused on being disciplined in one area, and I neglected everything else about my life, stopping me from becoming who I am today. And it wasn't until I got real with me, face the pain that was scary to face and became disciplined in all areas that I started to win. I became aware of my lack of discipline and how much of a loser I was when I got drunk with my friends one night. It was around new years. We were getting absolutely obliterated. We ran a little house party where I was invited to and allowed into this home. And as I proceeded to chug all of their alcohol, including a two-sixth of absinthe, while dancing with the host's girlfriend, and us making out a fight broke out. Now I avoided the fight, ran out of the household, not remembering any of this. My friends chased me all the way back to our apartment. They got me into the apartment while I was a sloppy fucking drunk, barely able to walk. I got into my sister's bedroom, because that's why I was living with at the time. And I jumped to get on the bed, missed the bed, smashed my head off the nightstand,

4:14laid on the ground, and passed the fuck out. Now the reason why I became aware of how much of a loser I was that night is because my friends recorded me. Now I didn't watch the recording to this day, but I heard what I sounded like. And when I heard what I sounded like the next day, and for the next following weeks, it broke me internally. I was furious with myself and discussed with who I was, because I allowed a substance. Break down the character that I thought I had, and break down the perspective that was flawed in my mind. The realest question you can ask yourself to get away from that version of you is do you love yourself. If you had to be alone with yourself for the next 30 days, no social media, no movies, no friends, no family, and you just had you in the current state that you are right now. Would you love you? If you had to make friends with you, the current state that you are in right now, would you love you? If the answer is no, you need to fucking change. You need to stop lying to yourself, you need to stop avoiding the pain, you need to stop telling yourself all this bullshit, and you need to do what is necessary to start loving yourself on an internal level. Which brings us to stage two, you need to start

5:14smaller than your ego wants. I was a fitness coach for three and a half years. I helped hundreds of clients transform their body, losing anywhere from 10 to 100 pounds. On a team of seven personal trainers, the one thing that I saw everyone fail at as soon as they got into fitness was starting to draw. Instead of just going on a 10 to 20 minute walk every day, drinking four liters of water, and getting more sleep, they would go from doing nothing. OBS lifestyle, struggling with their fitness, to trying to train like a bodybuilder. Seven days a week, nothing but chicken and rice, five liters of water a day, and optimizing their sleep. Every single one of the people who chose path number two, a stringent, intense discipline path, failed because they didn't build up the habits necessary to mold a foundation for their success. Every single person that I brought into my fitness coaching program, that I just said, walk 30 minutes a day for the next two weeks, drink three liters of water a day, and try to get it out of sleep. All achieved their weight loss goals in the term that we work together, because these people followed a plan that helped them stack habits over time, and it didn't overwhelm them in the process of them winning. And it was the same with my fitness

6:14journey. When I didn't want to be that drug addict alcoholic anymore, I assessed my situation in my current life. I literally took a 10,000 foot view of me and went, what am I in control of? Well, I have no control over my finances, $30,000 in debt, so I'm stuck. Well, I have no friends or family to bail me out. No one's going to give me money to get out of this situation, so that's it. But what can I control? I can control my fitness. I can control what I put in my mouth. I can control how I move my body. So all I did in order to kickstart my own transformation to get out of that hole was I started eating better every day, and I tried to get to the gym for a minimum of three to four times a week at the beginning. After work, I'm just going to try to go move my body. After I made a habit of going three times a week, I opted for, then I opted to five, then I opted to six, and then I had a consistent routine of moving my body, eating better and getting consistent sleep. So I started to feel better on a daily basis, which made me get more courageous to ask for more opportunities. If I tried to do everything that I do today, I would have failed instantly. I would have literally crashed and burned and went straight back to being an alcoholic or a drug addict because I would have been too overwhelmed and I would have felt like a fucking failure. The reason why I got to the

7:17point where I now run an eight-figure company with two kids and a wife while also owning a gym and launching multiple other businesses while also running as the talent of a $40,000 a month media company across short from and long form is because I built up habits on top of each other. I habit stacked my way to success. I started with the little simple things that weren't overwhelming and then after I was able to do 30 minutes of walking a day seven days a week, I added something else. After I was able to post once a day seven days a week, I went to two, and then three, now we do seven. I started small and built up over time to get me to where I am today. People usually bite off more than they can chew and end up failing when trying to transform their life because when you become conscious of the life that you hate, it's painful. Your instinct is to your end of a bite as much as you can off so you can transform quickly but that is a delusion. It's impossible. You have to start slow. If it took you 10 years to damage your body, the macomo beast, you are not going to change it in 12 weeks. It's probably going to take you five plus years to build a muscular, amazing physique. The time frame goes in swings in both

8:18directions but that pain inevitably makes people fail in the long run because they don't want to take time to change even though it took them time to fuck up. So instead of trying to transform your life overnight, take baby steps into these three individual areas. To get in shape, just go for a 30 minute walk every day seven days a week and drink three liters of water a day. Next, to make more money or build a business, look for more valuable yourself. Study the millions and millions of hours of free content on YouTube around the thing that you love to do or the passion that you already work on and see if you can make money on that thing in the next six months whether that's streaming, clothing brands, selecting collectibles, transforming people's bodies through fitness, social media content. There are so many ways for you to make money but the only way for you to make money is to become valuable yourself. So you need to absorb information that's for free and then just try more things. And if you want to build deeper relationships with either a partner to live the rest of your life with or friends, be curious and giving. You need to be curious of what the people that you want to build relationships with and giving the rule of rest of

9:19prosperity comes into play. Give to them without expectation and you will build the deepest relationships possible in every area of life. I'm making videos like this to help you struggling with your identity, struggling with your life and struggling with your purpose. Latch on to something that can direct you in a way that I need a direction in the past. So if you haven't yet, hit the subscribe button. Stage number three, you need to stop negotiating with yourself. I don't believe in negotiation with self. You either want to do it or you don't. It's all black and white. Achieving anything in life, whether that's a financial goal, a relationship goal, or a fitness goal is black and white. Do you want it or don't you? It is true that you can want it but also want to enjoy your life but then you have a choice every day presented to you. Do you actually want to achieve it in this timeline or do you just want to achieve it eventually? If you want to achieve said goal eventually, then it's okay to negotiate here and there. It doesn't fucking matter. But if you want to achieve the goal now, shut the fuck up and do the work. You either make the decision to do it or you don't. Most people are not where they want to be because they say something that sounds good to the masses but they don't actually want it internally. So you need to ask yourself the next time

10:22you open your fucking mouth about any goal. Why are you saying this? Are you saying it because you actually want it or are you saying it because it's cool to say I want to be rich in front of my friends so they say yeah bro, let's get rich. That's the question. Why the fuck are you doing it? If you're doing it for you, you don't need to negotiate. That will never become a thought in the back of your brain. You'll just get up and get it done but if you're doing it for somebody else, if you're doing it for the wrong reasons, if you're doing it for anything other than an internal desire, negotiating will be a consistent thing in your day to day and it will prolong the success that you could have seen soon. Which brings us to stage four, you need to use the dark stuff as fuel. I remember every single person who has slided me in the past. I remember all the negativity for my childhood. I remember every single time that me and my brothers got hit. I remember every single time a bully beat the fuck out of us. Now think that that is good or bad. That has been the fuel that has taken me from drug addict ironworker to eight figure entrepreneur before 30. I became this person because I use that negativity as my origin story, not as my crutch. I used all the pain that I went through in my life to propel me forward rather than hold me back. It is perfectly okay for

11:23you to be fucking angry and use that anger fuel to motivate you to achieve more. People like to talk down on pride. People like to talk down on risk. People like to talk down on obsession. People like to talk down on anger. All of these things have helped me become a millionaire. Help me retire my wife in 2019. Help me make sure that both of my kids will never understand what it's like to go without. Use the dark stuff. You got calls stupid when you were younger. Cool. Fuck that motherfucker. All right now prove them wrong. You got told by that teacher that you would be nothing. Make more money than they will ever make in their entire lives. Use that shit as fuel. Everybody is looking for the motivation and inspiration that is needed to see success. Just listen to all the bullshit you have in the back of your head from everybody told you that you couldn't and that's motivation enough. There's a line where the dark side gets too loud and you need to understand not to let it out because it could fuck you. Using the dark motivation is incredibly beneficial but if you use the dark motivation to the degree that you black out and fuck someone up on the street, that's not going to be great for you. I almost did that two days ago. I was at the gas station pump filling my gas

12:23tank. Some guy clapped to me for my car. Darkse came out just a little bit. He might have got told that his face was going to get dry to cross the pavement but we bottled that shit back up and moved on. You had to make sure that you keep that dark side into a degree but most of the time it will be productive as long as you focus the energy in one area. If you're currently angry at your life and your situation, focus it internally first. Do you love your body and how you show up on a daily basis? If you don't love your body, get your ass in the fucking gym and get angry at the person you see in the mirror. If you love your body but you don't love who you are values and principle wise, then change how you operate daily. Never be late again. If you say something and give your word, follow through with it. Never lie. Show up consistently, integrity and responsibly. So change the physical version of you and the mental version of you. After you change you, focus that anger and frustration outwards. I don't like my business. I don't like my job. I don't like my financial situation. Cool, but come more skilled so you can leverage that skill to solve big problems to make big money. By now you have all the tools you need but it's up to you. You have to maintain it. Which brings us to stage five. Survive the boring middle. In the midst of me finding

13:24my first coach, becoming a trainer on his team, I didn't see any growth and it was overwhelmingly boring. Around a year and a half, all I was doing was working as an iron worker, learning about online macros, online workout programs and what to do as an entrepreneur, staying away from alcohol, staying away from drugs, hitting the gym, but I wasn't really going anywhere. I didn't have any online clients. I was basically the team bitch doing newsletters and recipes and meal plans and everything on the back end, sending in to all of our clients, trying to host the team workouts in the city. But there was no progression, there was no growth and the only thing that kept me going in that moment was the thought of well what's the other path? What's the other choice? This is boring, this is overwhelming, this is foreign, but normal is drug addict loser, alcoholic going nowhere. So while this might seem boring, while this might seem overwhelming, where I might be angry that I'm not where I want to be, it's a lot better than that. Not all progression is instantly shooting in the moon. Sometimes it gets linear, it's not a fucking bad thing. I get sympathized with everybody who fucking quits in the boring middle. When you start to transform your life, but you see no progression for two, six, eight,

14:24twelve, eighteen months, I want to quit too. I did want to quit multiple times. There's been times where I'm even growing in this business now making eight figures a year where I want to quit, because I feel like we should be growing more. But that's where you need to look ten years from now and not a month from now. It took me three and a half years to fuck up my life. It took me a decade to get to where I am now. The only reason I did is because I stopped looking directly in front of me and allowing myself to instantly satisfy that fucking feeling I wanted like I did as an iron worker. I zoom the fuck out. I want to be there. I don't know how to get there, but neither does that version of me. So let me just work every fucking day until eventually I get to where I want to be. And it happened. The progression through personal development, to the progression through entrepreneurship, is similar to the statement of money doesn't buy happiness. You don't understand how boring personal development is, even though you should be doing it until you start to go through that process, just like you don't understand that money doesn't buy happiness until you have money. This is a learned experience game. 90 days in you're a fucking baby. So if your board right now good, changing you is boring. Damaging you is usually fun. Society has painted everything that

15:26damage and breaks you as fun, where everything that fixes you and helps you is boring. Jim, boring, growth, boring, mentorship, boring, motivation, boring, good sleep, boring, drinking, drugs, partying, girls, fun. You need to stop looking through fun or boring. You need to start looking through actual desires. Trust me. I went from having no money to now, only a $2 million home. We got two whips above my head, both $200,000. I paid off $250,000 supercharged R8 in the garage, wearing a $20,000 watch. We make $10 million on a yearly basis. I travel the world for at least 75 to 150 days a year. I've experienced a life where you can only experience it with an exceptional amount of money. Money does not buy you happiness. Personal development takes a whole fucking lot longer than you think it does. But through all of that growth, life you want to live is literally there waiting for you. Which brings us to stage number six. Never let it end. Personal development only stops when you die. This is why most people fail because when they think of what they need to do to maintain the life that they want to live, they quit because there's a lot

16:28of work. Well, how long, Cole? Forever. Until you're done being fit, the same thing is managing your money. Once you make money, you need to understand your money. You need to understand what gross and net is. You need to understand how to pay the government, how to pay yourself, how to manage your bills. Well, how long, Cole? Until you want to be broke. Because if you stop doing it, you're going to be broke. You guys need to stop thinking about well, for how long. You mean I have to keep working? Yeah, of course, you got us not let this shit end. Progression is progress. It's moving forward. You are either growing or dying. There's no stagnant in this life because time keeps moving. If you go to take a break, that's fine. Take a break. But the sun's going to come up tomorrow. The moon's going to come up tonight. Time doesn't stop for you. And you are eventually going to fucking die. The average life expectancy for men on this planet is 83 years old. Meaning, as a 32 year old man, I technically only have 51 years left on this planet. You guys need to look at life for what the fuck it is. Bleeding. Meaning if you want to transform your life, you need to never let the development of you end. And it doesn't have to just be financial. It could be anything.

17:29You have to be the best version of you every day for you, your family, your friends. The only time personal development ends is when you fucking die. If I stop the personal development of me, coldestelva, did what I wanted to do in five years, I would be a fat, alcoholic, drug addict loser. Bluntly. I just would. I don't do what I want to do. I do what I need to do. And if I stop progressing me, I would be the saddest fucking version of a human you would see in five years. You don't need to trust yourself to start changing. You just need to do what is necessary. Most of you who say you don't trust yourself to work on X are using that entire statement as an excuse. You don't need to trust yourself to just start taking action. Stop thinking, stop talking, start moving. And if you do that, you'll become so disciplined, you'll become unrecognizable. So hopefully you got some value on this podcast. We talked about multiple different things, whether it's mindset, business tips, fitness tips, or different things to help you with your own relationship. You never know what you're going to get, but I promise you, you're going to leave

18:33with a shift in your mentality. If you got value, make sure you subscribe, share this with a friend, coworker, family member, or more, and follow all my other social media accounts under Cole, Lewis, De Silva. Let's fucking go.