Ep. 73 Running Toward Yourself, Not Away 🏃‍♀️

Hello, everybody, and welcome to Problem Saul, her podcast.

I'm your co-host Chloe, the one with my girl.

Dagma.

Dagma is in the house.

Taylor is in the house.

My trench coat is in the house.

It's a little chilly today in the South Florida area.

And I just felt like cozy in my my British trench coat dawning.

Guys, today on the podcast, our really cool, innovative, fun, informative podcast.

If I don't say so myself, we have Taylor Ann, who is, I like to call a, a yogi guru.

I am coming.

She offered me what to come to one of her classes complimentary.

So I will be going soon.

And us Jewish girls too.

We want to get our freebies.

You know how we do Taylor.

And she's also a phenomenal running coach, which I didn't even know was a profession.

And I find it extremely interesting.

And before we start and segue into the questioning and going into some really cool topics and some fun little tidbits and, you know, bits and boops, as we say, I want to tell the quick story.

How teller and I met about six weeks ago.

There was a half and a full marathon in Fort Lauderdale on a one A by the elbow room.

Those of you that don't know.

I can't, I can't help you.

The elbow room is just the most famous bar.

It speaks for itself.

It speaks for itself.

I mean, every time the panthers win, which is three years ago.

Now I think they, they go there immediately.

And they drink out of their, their Stanley Cup.

Taylor, after my friend Lisa and I had gone over the bridge on a very hot day for that time of year.

You know, it's February.

It's not usually that warm.

We walk over the bridge.

We're waiting to see my friend Ashley, who dad more knows.

She's been on the podcast to cheer her on and her friend Brooke.

And we're sitting and we're waiting.

I'm talking waiting like a long time because we had timed it incorrectly.

And as we're approaching a one A.

I see this little Jewish spitfire.

My little Jewish hot tamale Cuban in a boot on her foot, which I know because I tore my killies.

They are the worst and they're hot and make you sweaty.

And she's sitting there on a mega microphone.

Sharing everybody on like the biggest hype woman I've seen since I don't even know what.

And I just whip out my phone and I start taping her and she's, you know, you can do it.

Let's go 507.

I see you pick those legs up.

Look at your fabulous shirt.

Oh my god.

Are you single?

My friends over here.

And it was like she was doing a comedic bit and just, you know, getting everybody really hyped.

So Taylor, before we get into it, what did you say to me when I was in the middle of filming you?

I walk over and I'm like, are you recording me?

Like straight out New York style.

Like, what's up?

You want to do this?

And I was like, yeah, actually, I am.

And she's like send that to me.

I'm like, okay, we're friends.

Look, that's how this came to fruition.

And it's very rare, Dagmar.

And I know that you would agree where you see women empowering each other and giving support to other people.

And really just her energy and the sincerity in which her words were coming across to people.

Somewhere alone, somewhere jogging with others, somewhere on their last leg.

I was like, please call the ambulance.

The ambulance because I don't know if this person is going to make it.

And then they would hear Taylor and all of a sudden pick up the pace.

Oh, that being said, Taylor, and you're incredible energy that day.

And I, I love that you're just like a sister in growing up in Jamaica.

I think Jamaica's sister is like someone who we just see is like part of the pack of women that just is there for one another.

And they're just fabulous people.

So first tell us how in the world you became a running coach.

Because I know a lot of people don't know it's a profession.

They want to know all about it.

Yeah.

I think it chose.

Well, first Chloe, thank you so much for your introduction.

I'm like sitting here like so amved up myself.

So I feel like in that vein, it takes one to know one.

You know, so I see you.

I celebrate you and you're.

Can I say badass?

You know, I would say it kind of found me.

I've been in in the education space for a really long time.

I was a classroom educator.

I worked for a nonprofit in business development and fundraising and all these different avenues.

But one thread that was always coming through was I was a yoga teacher.

I was a movement practitioner.

And it was through my own practice that I found running.

And I found running at a point in my life where it became my consistent.

And I started to run.

And every time I embarked on a run, I asked myself, okay, Taylor, what are we running from?

What are we running to?

And I really started to train in a way that felt different or quite frankly in conflict or the antithesis two.

And I'm going to put this in quotations the right way to train.

And so I was like, hmm, there's something on here because I'm creating a sustainable practice.

I am achieving PRs and milestones that are beyond metrics.

Well, yes, they included a time.

But I found myself building confidence in my voice in my body, taking space in different ways.

And so I was like, there's something here.

And so I kind of was like searching for my own space holder to kind of excavate a little bit more of this.

And I was like, wait, why don't I find myself my own unconscious?

And so it really just evolved from there through that I went and received my RRCA certificate coaches training.

I'm a trauma informed weightlifting practitioner.

I have my trauma informed yoga teacher.

And so my methodology kind of fuses together both the spiritual and the physical physiology and soul I like to say.

So I think it was a mixture of both it found me and chose me.

But I also took the actions to make it a reality.

Love that and doing so how did you because it's a very niche market, which dad and dad were right.

We love niche markets because niche markets gives you a chance to shine instead of being in this pool lost to the sea with all these overly saturated markets.

How did you then.

How were you able to get clients and how did you actually market yourself in doing that?

That's such a great question. I will say this like everything is saturated.

So it's not even what you do. It's how you do it.

And I had someone that I work with at one of the yoga studios.

We were talking about something. Shout out to Renee.

I have to give her that credit. And she said to me, you know, when you know something in your truth and in your confidence.

No one can really argue with you.

And if they do, they're not for you anyway. And I was like, you're so right Renee.

And so I would say for me, there are hundreds and thousands of other run coaches and mega teachers out there.

But my bridge is I do somatic therapy through running through yoga.

So we're going to talk about way more than your paces and way more than your mileage.

I want to get deep with you. Why are you running? Why do you choose to run? What did you learn about yourself?

Tell me about that injury. I use that injury and I kind of have some follow up questions based on that.

But ultimately, I want you to build a sustainable practice that supports you in your life.

And so in terms of my marketing, you know, I really am just me.

And I know that there, I throw out invitations out there whoever wants to RSVP.

Yes, RSVPs. Yes, whoever doesn't want to RSVP does it.

And then there's been times where I've talked with folks and I'm like, hey, like we have great synergy.

But I actually think you would work better with one of my colleagues.

And there's a few folks that I went through my own RRC training with that we're still really close.

And we've shared and I've been like, hey, I think you would actually work better with Josh.

And Josh has done the same for me, you know, or with my colleague Kim.

And so, you know, I think it's all about being who you are because that is your intrinsic gift to the world.

There's going to be tons of other people that do what you do.

They can't do how you do it, which brings me to my next point.

There's going to be tons of people that try to imitate you and copy you.

They will try to take your methodology and repeat it.

The truth is they are not you.

They don't have your experiences.

They don't have your trainings and what you've taken away from that.

So even if it looks like they are copying you, they can't have the magic that you have.

That's not replicated. That's on you.

I love that.

It's not just how you do it.

It's a result you create with it.

It's not just how you do it.

It's the results you create with it for them because at the end, it's all what's in for them by working with you.

Absolutely.

And I think that's one of our, you know, when we first sit down to have a conversation and we said,

goals, I want to know, okay, let's talk about your pace.

Let's talk about the miles or what race you're going for.

But what does that mean?

What are the other goals that we have in place here?

What does it get to symbolize for you?

And I think in the running community, there's a subculture of being really obsessed with getting a PR,

which is a personal record or specific time.

And I think that's wonderful.

But what?

What happens when you get that time?

What does that get to mean to you?

And often I'll have fellow runners say to me, like, well, what was your time for that race?

And if I said, oh, it's a great time.

It was a fun time.

How was your time?

Right?

The true PR personal record is how present are you in that race?

Were you so in your body that you felt the skin, the wind on your skin, that you heard the

cheer zone?

If and when you did hit the wall, how did you respond in that moment?

Did your self-critic?

And if so, how were you in conversation?

If it did in and something else came up, like, how did you get to know yourself on a deeper level?

I really do see races as a portal.

And I see this in my own training and what I coach my clients through is that we're training for life.

Whatever race you end up doing, if you end up doing one, is really a celebration of all of that.

And when it's not great, let's get to know that even on the deeper level.

What are we trying to achieve here?

Where are we getting at?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Sounds so.

It's healing, not just the race.

Yeah.

Movement is medicine and I say this as training as a way of healing.

It really is, right?

Like, I want to get to, you know, it's not that even that I want to get to know you, but you want to get to know you.

What is your inner seven-year-old like?

Who is that inner 17-year-old that's coming out when a run went like shit?

Right?

And like, we, we do this to ourselves, right?

Or even where are we negotiating our own boundaries to support someone or something else?

You know what it comes to training in the way that we do specifically?

There's a lot of yeses, but there's also a lot of nose.

There's a lot of nose and there's also a lot of yeses.

So what are we saying yes to?

What are we saying no to?

Are we negotiating something with ourselves?

And if so, is this an exception?

Or have we created a pattern out of it?

And is training in a specific way, a way to do a pattern interruption?

Right?

Like, I have a lot of folks that I work with that are what we call reformed people, pleasers, where we will negotiate our own training, our own family.

Right here.

The ultimate...

She'll tell you.

No, I'm a recovered one now.

Reformed one.

No, that's what I pointed when you said recovered.

Listen, we're all recovering from something.

I'm telling you're absolutely right.

I feel like it's that the running and I don't run anymore because I had injuries, but I will say, please don't cancel me for saying this.

But running is very hard on the knees.

You know that.

And I ran for many years in New York.

My parents used to live in the beach.

I ran the beach in the sand.

I ran in Central Park.

And my knees, I ended up having some problems.

But I always have so much admiration and respect for people.

I don't know how anyone can wake up in the morning, have the coffee stretch and go do 25 miles.

It's for me.

It's like playing two sets of professional tennis about taking a break.

It's a really tough thing.

But I like what you said in terms of the going back to experience.

I think in every field, especially for females, because we live in a male dominated world,

whether people want to admit that or not or accept it, for women, when we have certain experience in areas

that we know is our expertise and that we are being authentic.

When we are sharing those experiences and teaching them to other people, whether it's personally or in business.

And we are literally going off of our inner.

Aside from the experience, that core of it's coming from the most raw authentic and real place.

That resonates today with people.

And when it comes to running, I would assume, and again, I haven't ran in years,

but I feel a lot of sports growing up, is that you have to be so vulnerable and you have to be okay with rejection.

Growing up in commercial real estate.

Do you know how many knows and people were like, now, now, bye, bye, bye.

I'm like, put on Bob's daughter.

You know, my dad, everyone knows Robert and the business.

Now tell your dad, I said, I'm going to play golf on Saturday, no kid, click.

And if I, like Dagmar will tell you, I welcome rejection.

I have no fear of it. I don't care. Bring it on.

But when you're in a race, and like you said, the time and your friend, I'm just giving numbers here.

Now, these are real numbers, but your friend just ran a mile and eight minutes.

And you did 12 and you were like, what moment?

You're like, I'm more athletic than that.

My friend, I'm in better shape, and I'm 15 pounds lighter.

How did this person, and so there, it's a lot of mind control.

I do this soon, right?

Well, I think a couple of things are coming up for me here.

One, rejection is redirection and divine protection.

Whether that comes to injury illness, what I call healing experiences.

And comparison is the thief of joy.

There will always.

Even the elites, right, like the people that are super professional and paid to do this thing.

There's someone out there that's better than them.

So my question is, when does enough become enough?

How do you create a space for yourself to be, I am enough?

I am deserving.

And I have done the things that I need to do to put my best foot forward, whatever that looks like.

And I think as women, there's a couple of things that are true.

We do live in a male dominated world.

The male hormone cycle is 24 hours.

They are circadian. They are the sun.

Women, my love, we are on average 28 days, 22 to 57 days.

We are infradient. We are the moon.

We are meant to look, feel different every single day, like literally.

And sometimes the race will fall on a day in our cycle where in our critic is higher.

Or where we are maybe more prone to injury or does require that much more effort to hit a specific pace.

And that's not to say that we can't do it, but rather are resourcing.

And what it means to get to that place might look and feel different.

And to your point, even within these, like as women, once we turn 30, my girl,

I wish someone had instilled in us just as much as the Pythagorean theorem.

Like strength, train your glutes, strength, train your hamstrings, your quads, your calves,

your entire lower body specifically, because so much of the time with these stuff,

it is just a weakness in the musculature that we have to support the joint.

And right, like we could go into the whole thing, but how do we start?

That's why I tore my Achilles years later playing tennis three years ago,

because I, my, and it's crazy because I've always trained a little bit.

Maybe I was, I know that it was because I wasn't stretching enough.

And then I went out to the pickleball court.

And as soon as I left the clay tennis court, and then within two minutes,

I was like, where's the magic that just took the knife out?

And I went down like a house of carbs.

I was screaming, whoa, whoa, whoa, just cut the back of my foot open.

It was like the most painful, but, but that's why exactly what you said.

And that's exactly what the, the certain, the surgeon told me, the orthopedic,

then God, I mean surgery is because like you did not stretch before you left the tennis court

and went on to the pickleball court.

And you're not stretching enough after you are playing sports,

any running type of a sport.

So you're, you're right.

And so much of the time on that point, Chloe, you know,

when we peel back the layers and look, we've all done this, right?

But it's like, okay, once I run, once I play pickleball, once I do this,

I'll, you know, I'll eat healthy, I'll hydrate, I'll stretch,

I'll do my recovery tools.

But really, we have to flip it.

It becomes, have I strength train, have I recovered,

have I fueled and hydrated to run, to play pickleball, to play tennis,

not as the outcome of moving our bodies.

So that's the other part of it.

Are we actually creating the recipe strong enough,

so that we can show up as our best self, no wing to my point before,

that depending on where we are in our cycle, all of that, the amount,

the potency, the frequency, that might shift.

We might, we are more prone to injury at different parts of our cycle.

So it does require a little bit more warm up,

a little bit more stretch for food or sleep.

The eight hour study, FYI was done on men, women are 10 plus hours.

Can you imagine?

That's such a shame.

If I have nine, I feel way better than when I eat.

But speaking of cycles, there is another component to that.

And that women have cycles and women have their menstrual every month.

And our hormones change.

And perimenopause is a real thing.

And we wake up at night sweats and our moods change.

And we have very, very low energy.

And we don't have a drive.

And men are just out there with their balls hanging in their shorts,

doing their thing.

And I'm not saying that, you know, these are the facts.

These are the facts.

And they're just sitting there with their coconuts in the hammock.

And we're out here.

I get all dressed up and I go out last week.

And I'm like, I haven't seen this for a while.

I'm just going to do like a light happy hour because I'm not going later on the alcohol.

Just to like get my body ready for the summer in Europe.

And all of a sudden, I just go out in a full blown drip set.

And he's like, are you okay?

And I'm like, no, you're not.

He's like, you look like you just played tennis.

I feel like I just did.

Men don't have to go through those things.

So you're right.

And I'm a moon person.

I'll take the moon over the sun any day of the week.

I'm far more in love with the moon.

And I love these analogies that you do.

And I think it's incredible.

But tying in how the yoga and the running kind of go hand in hand for you

and how you you are in both fields.

Yeah, thank you so much for asking that.

I think it's so important.

My background is yoga and the yoga philosophy, right?

Everything from do no harm.

And what does that mean?

Right?

Or South, which is another component, which is cleanliness.

Like when we hear yoga, we think like the physical movement and shapes

or awesome.

I know that we're creating with our body.

But it's almost and not almost it is an entire lineage and philosophy.

And so I've really integrated a lot of the science and the artistry of yoga

into how I coach running and what I coach with running.

And so ensuring that we have, like if we take even just a yoga sequence

and we make it like super tangible, you have your warm up,

you have your peak flow, you have your cool down, you have shabasa.

Great.

With running.

What is your warm up?

What is your run?

What is your cool down?

What is your actual breath work having a taper after your run?

So often.

And this is all like connected for me.

So please push back if you're like provide some clarity.

You know, we go do the thing and then we go to the next thing.

So by that, I mean, you wake up, you go on your run, you come home,

you shower, you eat breakfast, you go to work, you're doing this,

you're running an air and you come home.

When did you actually give yourself a moment to have a shabasa and a break after your run?

Did you come home?

Did you cool down?

Did you shower?

Did you eat?

Did you sit there and do a little bit of breath work?

When we are running, all our nervous system is understanding

is that we're in flight mode, even if we love it.

And that corners old levels are through the roof.

Oh my gosh.

Everything you just sent that order gave me like a mini little baby Jewish like girl panic attack.

Exactly.

I've spoken about this on here in the morning and dad, you do it too.

If you have time with the kiddies and if Oliver gives me the time,

the tone is set when you get up and I had to work on this big, big time when I lived in New York City.

That'll learn goes off.

You look up and you're running.

I like to give myself, if I had and I really push it five to seven minutes of meditation and breath work when I first wake up.

And I also say before I go to sleep, like we say,

give thanks for life in Jamaica is like a big thing.

Every night my parents are going, give thanks for life.

Make sure you give thanks before you go to bed.

And you have to practice certain mantras.

And I always say, I'm one with the universe.

I believe in that truly.

If you just get off and you go and do everything tailored to sad,

I think there's that excellence and that it's really intense.

And that's and I think that's so beautiful that you're giving yourself that gift.

And often, you know, I'll hear from the runners I work with or my yoga clients like,

okay, but I wake up and I have to go do all these things.

I'm like, I hear you.

What could it feel like to go to sleep ten minutes earlier?

Wake up ten minutes earlier and sit there and journal and pray and read

or have coffee or literally just stand outside and take in the beauty around us.

I mean, we live in a place where there is so much beauty around us.

I often say like, how?

And I'm guilty of this myself, but I forget that I live in a place where people vacation.

Right.

And so to be able to step outside and feel even how hot and humid it can be here or a lot of day.

Like, our skin loves it.

Right.

Like how gorgeous.

I can not love the humanity speak for yourself as a Jewish woman.

You know that our people leave every May and they go back to wherever they came from,

whether it's New York, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, the Hamptons,

do not say our skin wants to humanity.

Dagmar is isn't just good shape as you guys have similar body types.

She is not down to humanity either.

Girl, don't be telling people to come here and that you meet him.

He's ready for that.

They were more populated enough.

We're populated enough.

And it's great.

Wait, please.

Don't encourage anyone to come here right now.

I beg you.

Not enough.

Did you see those lines up in the airport by the way yesterday?

If I see one more tick tock about.

You don't understand.

I'm like an advocate for it.

Lowell airport and the city of for Lowell and Mayor Trontales,

who I happen to know, should be paying me as a spokesperson woman.

Because everyone's flipping out.

And I'm like, guys, that terminal one only.

This will just jump off 2,000 people from the Disney cruise and it's spring break.

And this government what are they doing?

We're not going to get political, but the Tra� say is scarce right now because of this administration.

You put all that together and you throw it out there.

That's what you're going to get at the airport on Monday after all these then too.

It's not like a went I always say, if you're going to fight.

I wasn't sure if everyone comes back on Sunday night and they dump off on a bus like.

You know literally eat hundreds of thousand people at a time.

I mean, sorry.

Sorry, the best thing we drive around here is a Wednesday because you don't have the weekend from either side

So Wednesday is the day to drive

Wednesday season is a serious thing

Dagmar is like I don't have that problem on this side of Florida. I think God

Do you daggy? Does it ever get like that? No, I'm not aware. I live cookle beach perhaps

Yeah, yeah space coast not like that

Joe I think would not like it and you have to be very strategic. It's like in New York City with time

You can drive here. What time the rush hour is the cruise ships on the weekends the spring break on A1A

I will not you have to pay me a lot of big bucks to go down A1A

Right now

After 10 30 a.m. Until they kick all the kids off the beach at 5 p.m. You have to pay me to go down there

uh

In other news

Taylor we're very happy that you're here and

Dagmar I want to I want to know what you think in terms of

Women I wish you were there that day and you saw her

You saw the video

Dagmar I shared it with you where I wish you could have actually seen her in action

Because I'm a little bit uh, I'm slightly neurotic and I didn't know what Ashley was gonna comment

I'm gonna roll like sweating obviously. She's not texting me. She sent me like one and I kept going up to ash

To Ashley to tell her because she was so

patient and kind and I was like um, can you help me do the math if she's here? What does it come around? She wasn't like excuse me

I'm busy on the mic leave me alone. She was really trying to help me

To figure out when about so we finally did some math. I went on her

Social media Dagmar and I got like we we literally became

Mathematicians and he's like in that hour he figured out and she's like it's gonna be in the next 15 minutes and

It happened and at that time

Taylor was taking a group photo with her whole crew and then they were going to the surely

After that and I interrupted her. I was like Ashley spot up here. Please do this for me go on the mic in front of

She's like I can't I can't I'm in the middle and I was like please and I turned around and she's doing it

She's like actually Ashley you can I was like oh my god she did

And daddy you would have just appreciated so much

her

The reason I think that she did it and correct me if I'm wrong is because you felt like

the feminine energy

Between us in a positive way like two strong women personalities Jewish latinus because I have a little Spanish

Do and me out there for different reasons with the same goal for that day and you were just like let's do this

You were not like bye. Please see you later. It was amazing. I love you for that

I think in that moment I've been there whether it's been on a moment in life on a training run or a race

Where it's like a little bit of all of it. We are kind of questioning life choices and or you're feeling so good

But either way, I think we just want to be seen in a lot of ways

And how do we continue to empower each other and uphold and uplift each other

And so whether it was making someone laugh like literally just like hey you're cute my friend over here wants to talk to you

Right or reading that mark. She literally did that to me and I was like wait wait

You want to hear so hey if you're listening to this you know where to find us

But you know reading out someone's number or complementing them on their hairstyle right like these are all things

That we think about and to be seen in that way even for like a split second to give someone that opportunity

Have a little bit more pep in their stuff and know that they are

our mind

Our mind wants to keep us safe

Whether we like it or not whether it's a choice

We are actively making or not and oftentimes our body is a lot stronger than what our mind is telling our body

And so to have someone remind us you can do this. I see you walk walk run run

It doesn't matter but get one foot in front of the other cross that finish line

There's

There's nothing else like running because I tell people you're running on your own two feet

And coming from a lineage of a diaspora where my family in edge generation is had to run me being the first in my family to choose to run

And say I am choosing to do this now I am having to do this is a completely different imprint that I'm putting on my own nervous system

So to be able to give others that seeing that witnessing that empowering like I'm all here for it and

I think what I started when I was like we recognize this synergy within each other

And I was like this is a woman who shows up. I was like, yes, we are in this right now together

And I remember you asking me something. I'm like a girl. I'm tough second grade

This is a lot of math you're asking of me right now without a calculator, but let's roll

I was like, I don't understand. I've been here for like over an hour. I'm here to support her now

I want to do this and and it was like I think I even said something really funny like I'm a slightly neurotic you and you're like

Hello, I'm Jill and we were like

We're

Dagbar we're one percent of the world like we have to stick together like Jewish sisters like you night

Right, I think there's a lot with shared identity

Yeah, that's awesome. I love that

Dad has a question. We had 20 glasses on it contagious marinating. Am I wrong? No, not not directly a question

It's for sure. I can see that when you use your microphone tailor

It's you share your high frequencies with somebody else who in this moment meets them right

And it brings up their frequencies and it will build automatically a connection with you. Yeah

And I think there's you know when we lead from a place of love

Love doesn't have finite amount

We have an abundance of love all within us

And when we move from a place of thriving

We can see that with each other and we all have a shared humanity

We'd like to as humans put people in boxes for our own understanding

But we're all souls that chose this body in some way shape or form

And so I see it as my responsibility

Similar to you know when Chloe asked like how did you find this? I was like well kind of chose me

Same thing with our souls like we lead from this place of like who we are and who we be

and I always want to bring others with me

uh

I think oftentimes

That can be confrontational and if someone's not ready to fully lead from a place of love

that's when

Lower frequency vibrations of emotions and feelings and judgments can come out

But again that has more to do with the other individual than me. Yeah

Absolutely

I have to support women more and that's one of the reasons why we started the podcast

This was all Dagmar's idea. I can't even take any of that from her

But she came up with the podcast and the concept and of course there's speaking of it saturated

There's thousands of podcasts right now

The reason why we feel that we are different and unique

Is that not only are we sharing our experiences of years and years of experiences in personal and in business

And the combination of those Dagmar are used to work

Sorry quality of it. I was sorry to interrupt you. Yeah, yeah quantity

Absolutely, I'm out on quantity all about quality

That comes with friendships that comes with potential job opportunities

But Dagmar and I had worked together previously and the the company had then merged and then when there's a merger

People are like I was first and then Dagmar

Later, so we bonded over that but we were already friends at work

We were in a personal relationship and then we became even closer after that

We would not have if we were both in that job right now because it took so much out of us mentally physically

Motionally and everything when you're in a corporate job

We would not have been able to do this today and I want to stress this more than anything

Women have to see each other and give each other Greece

I cannot stand for seeing someone putting out a personal post and sharing their personal story and being authentic

It's on my like you're ugly. You're not cute. You're fat. You're this you're that. We are not here for that

We have to support each other. I love strong women. I love independent women

I love women who have the same exact personality as me. I am like the right and we're scared by other women that are strong

But the energy has to be right like you said. I'm I'm not here for the corner

I want the quality and the energy has to be good now

Sometimes daggy and I but has a little bit because we both are strong

But that's okay. We work through it more sisters

And if you and I but it had to we would work through it too

Women have to no matter what one as the power of Kabbalah says you can't take anything personally in terms of

if someone is

Throwing something at you they're going through something personally past traumas

They're having a bad day

They just got fired the boyfriend just broke out with them

Their dad just called them an asshole. Whatever it may be

we have to

Stick together and we have to find a way

To take a step back and this is exactly what happened to me yesterday

And I'm wanting to hear both of your thoughts

One of my best friends sent me a message and dad Martin. I have this sometimes sometimes via text

The tone gets lost of translation and and I said do you want to call me and she said I can't have helping my son right now

And she had mentioned to me is one of my oldest best friends that

She felt a little deflated was the word she used actually that at one of our best friends surprise parties recently

I flew to New York to go and be the party that we didn't connect enough during that event and

She gave her take on why she thought that was and then I shared my experience on why I thought it was

You know there were moments in there when she was like don't psychoanalyze me don't give me or you're sorry

I felt that way and instead of me saying excuse me

I was like okay, let me just hear there's other things going on here

It's not just about this because there were other elements at the event that happened with her specifically

And we got through it

But that's because I stayed patient because Dagmar will tell you I like to pop off in the beginning

I am a fight. I will pop right the f off in the beginning

But then I always think it after and I and I cooled that this was like I was I didn't even pop

I just because she is so she's Greek and Italian she like you can't mess with that in that moment

So I just let it ride and I took a step back

But if I had reacted in the same tone

This would have been going on for days and like the back and I don't want to do that

And the reason I'm bringing up this story is women have to work together

And if you truly love someone and I'm talking about female female friendships

specifically

And unless someone like really did you dutty dutty dutty dirty

You have to work through it because

It's so important for us to show ourselves and to the world that women are strong together and set up on our own

And I want to hear what you both have to think about you know whenever

I hear situations of internalized and this isn't what happened here

But whenever I hear a moment of internalized misogyny or conflict

I have to ask well who benefits from that

And what are what narratives are we subscribing to

And so with this situation I'd be curious of a couple things one was this a conflict what was the goal

Was it to express how she wanted to say to you?

Was it she trying to win something which when we go in with that in the disagreement like we've already lost kind of thing

Was it to actually build a stronger relationship because the truth is and this is me taking training out of training

Muscles have to break down to rebuild and get stronger

So in relationships

We have to have conversations that are sometimes tough challenging or hard or confrontational to get stronger

And I think the fact that you picked up on her

tightly woundness or maybe there's something else coming into play

You recalibrated your own self because this is someone who means so much to you and it was worth the effort

Right like it was worth the effort to take a pause it was worth the effort to seek to understand which

Feels like it was from what you're sharing a different way of interacting or pattern interaction even for you

Which I think like

How much we learn and relationship about

How much we learn about ourselves in relationship with other people and I think the fact that

She matters so much to you is why

Maybe this might have been as

Sticky as it might have been and I think with our real friends sometimes the mask

Of whatever can come off and we could just be like this is what's coming up

Even if we can't name for ourselves that we're moving through grief hard times at bandwidth at capacity

And it is our girlfriends our true real effort girlfriends who will say hey, Ben

Thanks for throwing this all at me. Let's work through this. Let's talk through this because I'm not abandoning you

I'm right here alongside you in the hard shit. I'm in it with you

I don't know those are I guess my thoughts. Dagmar. I'd love to hear what you have to say

I'm proud of Chloe because I know what it takes and I see that as your spiritual growth as simple as that

Relations like that happen all the time

And I think

Recognizing when it starts the spiral

Is hmm loving the other ones and not going into it

Is the key because at the end it doesn't matter. You mean the whole thing it does not matter because

Chloe is beautiful and genius and she has so much to give to the world

You don't want to lose your energy for this stuff

So I'm I'm very proud of her. I know what it took her

But also this is really why we started the podcast problems over you can can find the best solutions for problems

You went through and also if you have

Dollars six few of seeing several solutions. Not only one

And that's you did perfectly and beautifully

No, I appreciate like that. No, I appreciate both of you

And I

Trust in your judgments and again, I borrowed it up because

I feel like today and what I'm seeing on social media and how women interact with each other in general whether it's at a bar parties

Family gathering. I feel like we have to be softer with each other and I'm personally trying to do that

But if you're one of my rider dies like I'm a lifer with you like I said less you do me a really dirty like I'm milling to hash anything out

Sorry, go ahead Taylor. No, I mean to your point two things like I mean from what you shared all I heard from her is that like

If she felt the boy because she didn't have enough time with you

It's like I love you so much friend. I want more of your attention and energy

And like instead of to you like softening and saying like hey, I miss you

I'm at bandwidth or I have this going on exactly what I said

And then I said I'm sorry to get to see you in some more time when you come back to Florida. I love you

I think also when you have friendships that are like you know 30 something years

They go through it's like Madonna always evolving well, although. I don't know what's going on right now

She loves 45 she's looking already she'll I'm like what you know, but we we evolve as human

So the relationship will evolve with that and I've had conversations with some of my best friends from 14 years on site

If I make you like three years ago when we be friends now it's a really important question to ask because

You know people stay friends sometimes because you're in a group and you're all together

But if the synergy's off with the one you have every right and

Dagmar and I speak about this a lot on here

You have the right to choose who you want in your relationship who you don't and if you don't feel like there's a give and take in any

relationship

Personal business siblings family

Someone you're living with

It's like I'm Gucci. I don't need it. I'm at a point in my life where I am not struggling to make that happen

and the synergies and the energy

Has to be so highly evolved for me and I'm not into any surface level anything today and I have I will

Stand tall on that and I'll own that and if that needs maybe losing some people along the way

That's okay, but I think that we all need to be our true authentic selves

And we should not feel diminished or have to

Dumb ourselves down or kind of feel like we have to be something else because we have to walk on and chose be

Exactly who you are, but still at the same time continue to work and grow that's what I have to say in the matter

I'm done. I've finished you guys can continue. I have nothing else to say this morning. I'm deep

You guys in the podcast would ever tell her needs to leave and daddy you guys roll with it because I'm done

And I said everything I needed to say love you guys

I could literally have a whole episode on that Chloe because

I'll say one thing on this

Relationships have can have beautiful intentions, but there needs to be aligned action no matter how long the relationship has been there

And we need to continue to pour into each other

It's not always going to be 50 50, but there needs to be alignment and it's okay

To say goodbye to someone if that means hello to a deeper part of yourself

I have loved being on this with the two of you

Thank you for the honor and the privilege to be in conversation

To activate our voices our frequencies in all of this. I do have one of my runners right now who is training for her first ever half marathon

And I'm so excited

Thank you all so so much

Tell us how people quickly where they can find you online your website the socials. Yeah the website is my website is tailor dash and dot com on Instagram

You can find me at at the outside tailor and an and underscore G

Thank you all so much. Tell her when you hear you know we see you we thank you for being on here

You are a gen and a rarity me today and we love you for that takes one to no one

As I'm gonna say love you both

Bye honey. Have a good day. Bye

Please note that the fuse shed by our guests are their own

We invite honest stories and diverse perspectives

But they don't necessarily reflect our opinions or serve as professional advice