Ep 401 ~ Beginning To Heal Your Relationship With Your Body

0:30I'm a yoga teacher, student of yoga. I've worked for many years as a mindset coach, life coach, and I am extremely passionate about guiding humans back to nature, back to themselves, back to the reality of life, back to peace. I have been on a journey from anxiety and stress and self-doubt, back to myself, back to inner peace, back to joy, back to love for over 10 years, and it is an absolute gift to be able to help people to come home to themselves as well. So if that resonates with you, you're in the right place. Right now I'm out on a beautiful walk. It's extremely windy, as you might be able to hear, maybe you can see, but yeah, it's super windy. And yeah, I'm just going for a little bit of a walk. I usually find a spot that I like, and I'll stay there to record the podcast, but I haven't really found a spot that's like calling to me today.

1:34You know what I mean? Like there's no, I did find one little cliff-edge spot, but it's quite early. So the sun is like riding your eyeballs. And it's just a bit cliff-edgy, if you know what I mean, it's just a little bit too cliff-edgy even for me. So yeah, we're just going to go for a walk, and if I run into anyone on the way, I would have to explain why I'm holding a phone and a mic, like I'm, you know, going on TV or something. But that's okay. That's all part of the journey. Am I right? So in this episode, I want to talk about healing your relationship with your body, because it is a big topic, and most of us have trouble with our body image, and I'm speaking from the perspective of being a woman, and my experience of my own relationship with my body, and it's quite, at times, quite a toxic relationship. You know, and it's just funny, because it's just so against nature, and when something is so extremely against nature, it just makes me wonder, how did we get here? It clearly isn't normal.

2:46So let's try and unravel it together. Let's try and figure out what is going on, because it's not natural. So why have we ended up with self-worth issues, body issues, you know, feeling like our bodies aren't enough, feeling like they're the wrong shape, the wrong size, you know, feeling that could rather be anyone else, or we'd rather be like the supermodels, right? And that just kind of gives you like, how did we get to the damage? Look at our life. Look at what we're taught to believe is beautiful. You know, we're fed supermodels and quote perfection. You know, there was a time when women were celebrated for being womanly, having curves, you know, being basically able to have a child, you know, that was a celebration. And now it's like something that you're ashamed of, something that we don't want. You know, and everyone wants to be thin, and everyone wants to be a certain size, and we are so mean to ourselves.

3:50You know, we're comparing ourselves constantly. Look at the world of filters on social media. Look at the comparison, the cruelty, the way we treat each other, the way we speak about each other and judge each other, and we're either trying to look like someone or judging someone else for not looking a certain way. The world that we were raised in was not created to make you feel good about yourself, and that is just the reality of the situation. You know, some of us grew up with parents that were quite judgmental, or would criticize your body, or what you wore, or whatever it was, and they would hold some judgment for you. Some of us grew up with teachers or mean friends or being bullied, and all of us grew up being faced with advertisements, models, you know, mannequins in stores, certain clothing, and books and fairy tales that all portrayed the same type of image, and it's created a problem.

4:55You know, all of the makeup brands out there, you know, everyone claims to fix you, to hide something, to cover up something, to stop people from seeing something, to quote fix who you are, fix your body. When you're fed this kind of information for long enough, especially in your early years as a child, it starts to really mess with your head. It starts to create a relationship with yourself, one that you're already positioned to be in lack in a state of, I'm not enough, in a state of, I'm not good enough, I'm not as pretty as that person, or as good looking as that person, or I'm too thin, or I'm not thin enough, or we have so many different ideas. We all have things about our body that we don't love, but look at the state of nature, you know, let's look at the reality of the situation. Look at nature. Is it perfect? No, absolutely not. I'm not going to look out into these beautiful sea of trees, and pick out which one is the most beautiful, which one is the right shape, which one is positioned in the right place, which one is the right color.

6:02I'm not going to do that because I don't think anyone would do that. It's weird. Imagine if I said, okay, let's go for a walk in this forest, go and find the most beautiful tree, and the most unattractive tree. It's just, it's not something you would do. Is it possible to do? Probably. But by whose standards? Who said that that tree is the most beautiful tree, or that tree is the most ugly tree? Who said that? Who labeled someone gave you an idea of what's beautiful and what's not? Someone gave you an idea of what's flawless, and what it means to have flaws, and they pointed at you, and showed you where you weren't good enough. And then we start to think we're not good enough. We end up in this spiral, right? But none of us would go out into a sea of trees, or even if we went to find the ugliest bird, or the prettiest bird. It's crazy, but we do this, and we do it all the time, and I often pull people up. I don't know if ibis birds are in every country. I don't even know if they're Australian. I know nothing. Maybe they are, maybe they're not. I don't know.

7:13But they're quite big birds with quite a long beak, and it kind of curls underneath, and they're not any pretty colors or anything like that. And there's a nickname for them over here. Maybe it's worldwide. I don't know these poor birds, but they call them bin chickens. And there's even a song about how unattractive these birds are. It's so sad to me because I'm like, these birds haven't done anything to you. Who's to say that that's an unattractive bird? If you're going to compare it to a rosella, I mean, fine. It's an unattractive bird, but it's not a fair comparison. It's rosellas or parrots. They're different. They're a whole different thing. ibis birds are beautiful in their own right. They're nature created. They have a purpose. And I've often spent time when ibis birds come up to you. People are usually like, oh, bin chicken, and they're throwing things at it and trying to get it away.

8:13I've sat in a park and ibis birds come right up to me and I've hand fed it, which I know isn't great. You're not supposed to just feed birds, wild birds. But I've hand fed the bird. It was such a kind bird, such a sweet thing. And it's just so sad to me. I was just thinking this is so sad that everyone is so mean to you when you are so kind. And so patient and so willing to sit next to a human being, you know, it's this world of comparison. It's so unhealthy. It's unhealthy in every right, in every respect. This is one of the reasons I don't seek perfection. You know, like, look at me right now. I have a mic. Mentor sit on a table, but I'm holding it in my hands and I'm holding my phone in my hands. And have I got some unattractive angles of myself? Probably could I position it so I look a little bit? Oh, funds a perfect angle? Probably. Or I could have it down here. You can see, you know, the so attractive.

9:18You know, this you can't compare it's it's like comparing the sun and the moon. It's like comparing Iberts, birds and parrots. It's like comparing different types of trees or the same type of tree to each other. Or it's just nonsense. It's just nonsense because every type of tree, every type of climate, every type of bird, every type of human we all have our place. We all have our purpose. If everyone was perfect, if everything was perfect, I don't think this world would function. And it's not healthy to look for perfect. It's not healthy as soon as you start to seek perfect, you're bound to be unhappy. Okay, so that's the damage. The reality of the situation is that we were all created by Mother Nature. Mother Nature does her best. Sometimes she makes some mistakes, but she's she's a being. Right. Nature makes mistakes. Things happen. I've gone for walks where I've literally seen a tree growing out the side of a cliff like a gum tree glowing glowing it was glowing growing out the side of a cliff.

10:28How do you think that's going to go for that poor tree? It's not going to live for 300 years growing out of there. It's it might have a good you know, a little while, but you can just tell it's a precarious situation like this is not a good place for you to grow. This is not a safe place for you to grow, but sometimes mistakes happen. You know, the world is not perfect. I mean, look at turtles. They give birth on the beach. All these hundreds of turtles are running towards the beach and most of them get eaten. You know, it's it's not perfect. It's not all rainbows and unicorns and you know, sunny days. There's imperfections. There's light and there's dark. There's there's things that you know, there's blessings and there's challenges. There's always the ups and the downs. So you're a part of nature. You're going to be part of that. You're going to have parts of you that you're going to think were crafted by gods crafted by angels. There's going to be other parts of you. You're going to go, what is that? But that's that makes you normal. That makes you normal in order to hide those things. That's an offense to Mother Nature. That's an offense to yourself. You're letting yourself down to try and hide those parts of you that you don't like.

11:38I used to hide parts myself that I didn't like, you know, if I had a pimple on my face, I'd be like, I'm just going to position the mic here or I'm just going to not wear this. So I'm going to like wear something to cover something up. I used to wear makeup to cover things up. I stopped doing that years ago because I realized what I was contributing to was this idea that I need to make myself up. I need to cover things up and adjust things so it looks right. And that is not helping me. It's not helping the future generation. It's not helping my friends or my family. It's not helping anyone because I'm allowing myself to be part of this idea that you need to be fixed. You know, I'm not going to try and cover up wrinkles. I'm not going to try and cover up parts of my body that I'm not okay with. You know, I have like a fingernail that I don't love. It's kind of weirdly shaped. And I remember as a kid, I used to hide it. Like I used to literally position my fingers on a pen or a pencil so that it was covered up so that no one could see. And as I've gotten older, it's taken a long time to just like relax.

12:46Relax. You're fine. You know, like it's nature. It's part of nature. It makes you normal. And what a gift it is to be part of this world and to be part of nature and to be part of her creation, part of her imperfection. She's an artist and not all of her creations are going to be quote perfect. But there is no perfect. This idea seen nature agrees. Exactly. This idea of perfect. It was fed to you. There was a time in history, as I mentioned where women were actually seen as attractive. If they had weight around their belly, if they had wide hips, because that is a sign of fertility. And now it's the opposite, right? You don't want anything around the belly. You don't allow to have hips because that's unattractive now. But they literally just changed the rules of the game. It used to be if you had fat around the belly or if you had a bigger belly, you were fertile. You were beautiful.

13:48And now look, you know, so this idea of perfect. It depends who's handing out the cards. It depends who is in charge of the ads, who's in charge of setting that standard. We could change it right now. And we would all change our perception and children would grow up not even knowing that we had an old idea of perfect. So the reality is that you're part of nature and you're beautiful. You're an impermanent being an imperfect being that is dancing around on this earth, creating life, living, experiencing and part of the rest of it, part of the whole sharing the planet. And we're so obsessed with our body image and how we feel about ourselves that we completely forget to love ourselves. We forget to fall in love with ourselves. We forget to enjoy our life and to experience life because we're so focused on getting the right makeup color, you know, or wearing the right clothes and make us feel attractive or whatever it is.

14:52You know, I, I'm not saying you can't do those things, but years ago I said I'm not doing that anymore. I have a select few clothes. If you know me, you all have seen me wear the same outfit a million times. I'm being chased around by a fly. It must be spring. It must be spring in Australia. The flies are back, but who's to say they're not perfect. They have a place. So yeah, I just decided I'm not going to contribute to it, especially in my line of work where what I want to do is help people feel comfortable with themselves and allowed to be who they are. You know, there was a time where I wouldn't even talk about the fact that I need to go to the toilet with anyone, let alone my partner, let alone no, like it has to be a big secret. So what are we doing? I don't know if you have anyone listening to this has a dog probably a lot of you do, but have you ever followed your dog outside to make sure that they go to the toilet or that their bowel movements okay and you literally watch the entire experience. Do you now think less of that dog? I'm like, oh, that dog goes to the toilet.

15:54Ew, that dog is not as nice as I thought it was. Would you do that? Of course not. Of course not. Why are you watching that dog go to the toilet because you care. Because you care and yet you're not allowed to go to the toilet. You have to pretend that it doesn't happen. People around you don't want to hear about it. Don't want to smell anything. Don't want to do anything because they're going to think less of you. What are we doing? Right. What are we doing? We're creating such an unhealthy relationship with the body. We're creating a life where we're holding bodily functions in to protect our self image when that's been shown to be bad for your body dangerous for your body. People hold things in to maintain self image and they're literally doing themselves physical damage. In what world is that normal? In what world is that okay? Right. So let's look at your body. Your body loves you. It's stuck with you. It has no choice. It's you. You are your body's soulmate. Your body is your soulmate. You are partners in this life.

17:00Your body does its best every single day to keep you breathing, to help you digest food and absorb nutrients, to help regenerate cells and make sure that every all the healing is happening as it needs to, to make sure you are safe and that you're living and you're okay. Your responsibility to your body is to nourish it with good food, to get it outside, to do things that are good for it so you're helping your body out, you're helping it live, you're helping it heal, you're helping it do the things that your body does. And that's your role. Your job is to love it, to appreciate it, to be grateful for it, to want it. And what do most of us do? Are we giving? Are we loving the body? Are we nourishing the body? Are we caring for the body? Are we showing up for the body? Are we telling it kind words and appreciation? Are we doing those things for the body? Or are we being judgmental, cruel? Are we trying to change the body, modify the body, fix the body? What are we actually doing?

18:11It's a very interesting topic. So the reality of life is that you are worthy of your own love, you are enough, are you perfect? No, are you imperfect? No, you're just alive, you're just you. And you get to be in a very healthy, very loving, very nurturing relationship with yourself. So let's talk about homework. We're going to work on healing our relationship with our body. I got two pieces of homework. One is more of a beginners. Second one is more advanced. So you take what you want, maybe both. Easier homework, sit in front of the mirror to make it harder, you could be naked, but at least bare face and repeat loving affirmations to yourself while staring in your own eyes. Speaking out loud to yourself in the mirror, I've got multiple affirmation episodes for self love so you can go and check those out and use them. What am I going to do? I'm going to link them below.

19:14So you can check them out. Do that practice every single day for two weeks and notice how it feels. You're going to be really uncomfortable at first, but I want you to push through that because what we're doing is changing our relationship with ourselves and that's going to be hard, but you can do it. So show up, do the hard thing, do it for two weeks and notice how it changes things. The advanced piece of homework is going to be trying to go without makeup for a week or try and go without high heels for a week or really fancy clothes for a week. Ton it way down, tone it down, we're really comfy clothes, really chill clothes, get dressed without the idea of what's everyone going to think of me, just put clothes on. Even challenge yourself by wearing something you don't think is that good looking. You know, put up a picture of yourself with no makeup on. Go out on a date with no makeup. Challenge the beauty norm. This is not easy. It is a challenge. Take yourself out to dinner with no makeup on something like that.

20:24I've gone through the journey of learning how to do that for myself. It was so hard, but I can promise you right now, no one has ever cared. In fact, if anything, it's an inspiration to them and it's been so freeing. I feel amazing. You know, I've never gone back to wearing makeup. And you don't have to do that. You can wear makeup. Do your thing, but challenge yourself. Can you live without it? Can you still love yourself without it? That's the point. You know, you can wear makeup, but don't let makeup be the reason you love yourself. Love what's underneath. Love the bare you, the real you, the real body. Let your skin breathe. So that's my challenge to you. That is your homework. And I want you to know I believe in you. And we're all in a state of healing our relationship with our body and it can be done. It will be done. You are worthy of your own love. Your body is worthy of your own love. She is your soulmate. He is your soulmate.

21:27So enjoy being with your body. Enjoy this experience because you're only together for a short while. You and your body are only together for a short while. So accept the imperfections of your body and love. Choose to love because you're worthy of your own love. If you would like to go a little bit deeper into this, you can jump into yoga with Madison. I have a beautiful self-massage practice that is full of self love and full of self care. If you'd like to give that a try, go and try it. Yoga with Madison is only $33 a month. It allows you to bring your yoga practice into your daily life no matter where you are and it's powerful. So go and jump over there and enjoy. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a rating or a review on the platform that you listen to this podcast through. It truly helps me reach new people and new ears. Thank you for joining me in this beautiful place. Send me a message if you enjoyed it. If you like the walk and talk, my arm is so tired from holding my phone out. So I'm going to end this here.

22:38Thank you so much and I'll see you in the next episode with love and kindness for my body and the ears. See you in the next episode. Love. .