Ep. 225: When You Can't Put It Down...And Nobody Gets It

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I want to start today by saying something that I don't hear said enough in the self help sort of space:

The advice to "just take some me-time" is one of the most tone-deaf things you can say to a woman who is essentially drowning.

What we commonly hear are things like:

"Put something down." "Fill your own cup." "You can't pour from an empty cop.”

These things are true. I say them too, I teach them too. 

But I think there’s an additional conversation that needs to be had. We can’t just keep it there…where we give you the solution as though one size fits all…because we know that not all lives are the same. 

And if we don’t have a follow up conversation, that advice can feel cruel and insensitive to a woman who feels like has no one to hand anything to and is struggling to keep her head abo ve water. 

Because here's what that advice assumes:

It assumes you have someone who will catch what you drop.

It assumes that if you stop spinning one of the plates, someone else in your house will pick up the stick.

It assumes there's a margin somewhere in your life where "you time" can live.

And for a lot of the women I know That assumption is wrong. Completely wrong.

So today, I'm not going to tell you to take a bath. I'm not going to suggest a morning routine. I'm not going to hand you another coping strategy that requires someone else to cooperate.

But I’m here to have a different conversation…so that’s where we’re headed. 

Resources mentioned in this episode: Midlife Clutter: Explained and Solved over on Substack:

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