E88 Standing Up For Yourself And Others

0:00You get what you tolerate. Hi, I'm Scarlett Classic, and welcome to Classic Advice, a mental health podcast that is guidance for resilient souls and can calm amid the chaos. What do I mean by that, you get what you tolerate? What I mean is to set your boundaries, set your standards, and protect your mental health, because you get what you tolerate, meaning if you are experiencing someone who is being a bully, we need to set boundaries, we need to stand up for ourselves, and we need to protect our own mental health. And I get it, standing up to bullies is a very, very difficult thing to do.

1:05And for the most part, I could say that I'm pretty good at standing up to my bullies, but there have been times when I didn't. And if you are experiencing a bully today, and you're finding it very, very difficult to stand up to them, and you just find that you can't, then don't feel like I am judging you for not standing up, because I have been there too, and I have not stood up before. And a part of me regrets it, because I wish I had the courage too. I wish I had the courage to just call this guy out. It was at work, and he was treating me very, very unfairly. He was being downright cruel to me, and a couple of my co-workers saw what he was doing,

2:10and they said nothing. But when they saw me later, they told me that even though they didn't say anything, they still had my back. And I'm not sure why all of us were so scared of standing up to this person, but you're not alone. You're not alone if you're lacking the bravery or the courage to actually say something, but coming from a place where I wish I had said something, if you have the courage today to stand up to your bully and say, hey, why are you treating me like this? And setting some boundaries and setting your standards to protect your mental health is not an easy thing to do. And if you are brave enough and have the courage to do so, then I want to congratulate you and

3:15say bravo for standing up to people that are being mean. When I look at my bullies in the past, I know I've said this before, at least on my social media that when I look at my bullies, I can see that each and every one of them are pretty insecure with themselves. And putting me down was their way of lifting themselves up. And it doesn't make it right by any stretch. No, it doesn't. It does not make it right. We should be kind to each other. But looking at it that way puts it in a little bit of perspective in seeing that they're hurting too. And it doesn't make it right for them to hurt us in retaliation for them hurting. But we're all human. And I did run into this person when I was no longer working with them.

4:25And I didn't confront them on what they did or anything. But I stopped them and I said hello. And I asked them how they were doing. And I showed them kindness, regardless of the fact that they were not kind to me. And I hope that maybe by me doing so, showing them love and kindness when I had every reason not to be, showed them that kindness can do a lot more than bullying can. And that I could have been a friend instead of an enemy or a punching bag. So I would encourage you to stand up to your bullies and set your boundaries and set your

5:33standards and protect your mental health. I learned to lesson by not standing up. And since then, I've been doing a much better job of standing up to people that are not so nice. And when I see someone doing that to someone else, I have stood up for other people. And I'm not telling you this to tutel my own horn or anything, but it takes practice, I guess, is what I'm saying. And it takes getting fed up with yourself for not saying something. Not getting angry, so to speak. But in a way, I guess getting fed up with not saying something earlier. When you do have the courage, courage, courage isn't the lack of fear.

6:40I'm sure you guys have heard that said courage is not the lack of fear, but in doing it anyways, saddling up and getting on the horse anyways. So I've set up to some people, and then afterwards, we're shaking. And it takes practice. But then once you do it over and over again, you realize you really don't have a whole lot to be scared of. That you did have this courage and you are brave enough. You just need to prove it to yourself by doing so. And if you have courage and you've done the slots and you see someone else being bullied, then I would encourage you to stand up for your peers and stand up for people that are

7:43being bullied. Because it's important, it's important to protect our mental health, and to protect each other, and to spread kindness, and love, and a world where a lot of us are hurting. Thank you for turning in to classic advice, guidance for resilience loans. May you stay anchored in what studies you, rise resilient through what challenges you, and carry calm into whatever comes next. Take care, love you, bye.