E83 Taking Accountability For Your Happiness

0:00Your happiness is your responsibility. Hi, I'm Scarlett Classic and welcome to Classic Advice, a mental health podcast that is guidance for resilient souls and can calm amid the chaos. Your happiness, your responsibility. I know I've touched on this before, but it is a good reminder for us to take accountability for our own happiness and to be reminded of the fact that our happiness is our responsibility and to take accountability. It is quite easy to blame others, say, well, if they only treated me better or my boss was nicer or my coworkers are more understanding or my kids weren't dealing with XYZ or my husband

1:02or partner was more like whatever then, then after all of that, then I would be happy. Life is going to have its ups and downs and that is just how life is, but learning to take responsibility for our own happiness regardless of those waves, regardless of those ups and downs is key and it's something that is in your control, focusing in on what is in our control and your happiness is a part of that. Learning how to cope and hang on to happiness because it's in your control. Now, what do I mean by that?

2:03Like you can have a really, really hard day and maybe you're going through something that is very heavy, like a divorce or I don't know, your kid is really severely ill, you know? Do you hear me say what I just said would be very difficult here? And there is a time and a place to feel sadness and anger and all of those heart emotions is what I like to call them, the tricky ones, the icky ones, the ones I don't like to feel because I like to stuff them down. That's my go-to, which is not a very healthy thing to do, so don't do that. I had a tough week the other week, very heavy and it was very difficult for me to find happiness in those days

3:10because I was going through a rough time. However, taking a moment to meditate and practice gratitude and remember all the other things that were still going right made it possible for me to put aside what I was going through in the moment and still spend an hour with my family being happy. Happiness is one of those things where sometimes we're going to have to chase it. It's not going to be something that's going to come easily because we are going through such a rough and tough time and I'm not saying that after you lose someone, go find something and laugh, I'm not

4:14I'm not trying to say that there is a balance, okay? And one of the things that I did in my really, really hard week the other week was I had myself a cry session. I cried and I cried and I cried until I didn't want to cry anymore. I let myself feel the icky feelings like I say and then I took a deep breath and I told myself that there was still a little bit of today left. Let's go do something and end the day on a good note. It doesn't make the bad go away. The bad's still going to be there at the end of it and sometimes we need to put on a brief face for others so that they don't feel so down and feeling those hard feelings is a part of the

5:18process so that we can let go of the things that are not in our control and focus in on the things that are in our control. Waiting on other people to do something or be some way in order for you to be happy you'll be waiting a very, very long time and that's what I'm trying to convey is if your happiness is dependent upon others then you're probably not going to be very happy because people let us down or our expectations are too high and we let people down too. I guess what I'm trying to say is it's up to you to chase your happiness and find things

6:24that are in your control that can bring you happiness. What are you going to do today to create some happiness for yourself? I hope that if you have icky feelings to feel that you'll let yourself feel them and then go do that thing. Go do the thing that'll bring you some little bit of happiness for today and don't wait for tomorrow to do it today. Thank you so much for listening to Classic Advice. Guidance for Resilience Souls. May you stay anchored in what studies you. Rise resilient through what challenges you and carry calm into whatever comes next. Take care. Love you. Bye.