Dua of the Day-Forgiveness

0:00Central African Time, Assalamu alaykum, and welcome to the Dua of the Day segment of the ON-A program. This afternoon, we are chatting to Upper Surah Ajaahand, we are taking a look at all the subject matter over the last couple of weeks. The last couple of days have been taking a look at a specific subject and centering a Dua around that one, and today we are talking about considering that we have reached the Ajaara of forgiveness. What is the Islamic viewpoint on forgiveness? And joining me in conversation, I'm Assalamu alaykum, and welcome to today's program. It's lovely to have you back. So today we're taking a look at we are almost at the middle mark, almost half we through with the second Ajaara of Ramadan, which is the second part of Ramadan that deals a lot with the topic of forgiveness. And what is the concept of forgiveness in Islam? So forgiveness, it's something that obviously it has to be very intentional,

1:07both ways. Even if you are the person for giving someone else, it is something that's very intentional. It's something that if you are asking for forgiveness, you are asking Allah for forgiveness, then it starts with remorse. So forgiveness in Islam is something that is seen as something deeply rooted in intention. And if you are asking Allah, if you are forgiving others, or if others are forgiving you, all of that is seen as something that's very, very big, a very huge deal. Like people think that forgiveness is something that we can't really do sometimes. You know, the things you can forgive, but you can't forget. It's still in a way holding on to holding on to things. And if we speak about Islamically, the concept of forgiveness, and I think the best way to sum it up would be Abu Bakr, Adilahu, and who, and he was, Allah ta'ala addressed him in the

2:08Quran after he was so hurt by a family member speaking about his daughter Ajaara, Adilahu, and you know, setting rumours. And it was not just a family member, it was someone who was financially supporting. So you kind of giving your money to someone, and then you find out that that family member is actually a person who is also spreading the rumour about your daughter, and that obviously would hurt and leave anyone. But he was very upset in the moment, you know, he said he's not going to be giving him anymore. And Allah passed the verse down in the Quran to tell him to, because you know, the forgiveness, to forgive the person is something that you have to do for yourself. It's not about the other person is for yourself, it's so that you are free. So Allah ta'ala teaches us in that that tells Abu Bakr, Adilahu, and who, you know, how to forgive, and how not just to forgive, to do more than just to forgive. Allah didn't instruct him only to

3:11forgive, had continued showing generosity, meaning carry on giving. And so he gave more than what he was giving previously, to show Allah that you know, he submits to Allah's world. And so in that we learn how huge it is to forgive someone, because in Allah's eyes Allah is not looking at that person. He's looking at the act that's coming from you. If you forgive somebody before you sleep, as we know that in the visceral law, Islam taught us this. He told us Sahaba that there was, you know, there's someone who walked in the mischief and he said he's going to be in Jannah and the Sahaba didn't even know who this person was. And one of the Sahaba wanted to find out what was so special that he's going to Jannah. And this man told us Sahaba, I don't know, I don't know exactly, because I do everything normally. And the Sahaba asked to follow him. And he thought that this man does everything normally goes to walk on the field, he goes to sleep. And then he asked the man again, is there anything else that you're doing? And the man said, you know, actually, before I sleep every night, I forgive everybody. Anyone who's harmed me

4:13or done anything, I go to bed with a clean heart. And so Allah loved that action so much that he became a Jannah. He became, he, his Jannah was guaranteed all because of this act of forgiveness. So Islam, it holds great weight for forgiveness because there is so much of baggage and so much of resentment that we hold that actually stops us from growing. So it's for our benefit more than the other person. But it is one of the hardest things to do as a human being to really forgive somebody who's hurt us, who's destroyed a person emotionally, physically. Somebody who's hurt that, that who who's instilled upon you a sense of betrayal that you cannot fathom. And it's, I mean, obviously we know the importance of forgiveness. We know even physically, emotionally, there's so many benefits to adopting the trait of forgiveness. But it's one of the hardest things I think a human being has to do. It is extremely difficult. It is easier said

5:19than than because it comes from deep within you to be able to forgive is especially when you hurting. It takes a lot of, I think emotional energy. It takes a lot of courage. It takes a lot of bravery. It takes a lot of insight to be able to do it. So I think it comes with practice. It's not going to just come suddenly. It's going to come with practice and after deeply flexion. That's forgiving me in forgetting. No, no. So we used to be taught, you know, when you were taught about forgiveness, we were taught that you can forgive the person but you can't be stupid about it. Like, forgetting means that you go back to square one. You know, if someone has fought you or you've seen a side of somebody, you don't put yourself into that position again. You don't, you know, Islam teaches us this. You know, we are supposed to be smarter than the next time. So yes, you forgive, but then you maintain your space. You maintain a healthy

6:26distance, especially a lot of people have friends that they've either cut off for years or whatever it is. And then after they bury the hatchet, what happens is that it becomes like the first day all over again. And that's not healthy either because it means you haven't actually learned from the lesson. You can forgive, but you need to learn the lessons. So I wouldn't say forget. I would say leave it in the past, but also don't forget to the, you know, to the extent where you're back to the same place you were initially and you're going to get hard again. If you've heard somebody, how do you ask them for forgiveness? How? Well, firstly, it is just equal to ask someone for forgiveness, especially if something that they didn't know you did. I think that's the harder one. If you've hurt them and obviously

7:31they know and you know, then that's an easier one. I don't think it's easy, but it's easier compared to the two. I think then the how would be firstly, you would have to feel the most about what you're doing. And you'd also have to approach it in a very sensitive manner like you have to ask yourself, if this person, if the tables were turned, how would I want to be pleated? Or how would I expect to be approached? And then you approach the person. And obviously with the most, not with excuses, not with excuses because sometimes we say, I'm sorry, but, you know, and I'm sorry, and if you didn't start with, you know, we have an excuse, it should be a genuine apology from the bottom of your heart, whichever way you find easier, some people find it easier to type a message, some people find it easier to pick up the phone,

8:32and others find it easier, face to face. So I think the how would be whatever you are comfortable with, you ask the person, you ask them in that way, and you hope, insha'Allah, that Allah forgive, but even if the person doesn't forgive you, the act of asking the person for forgiveness already, you've cleared your way with Allah. So then Allah forgives. As long as you have already made that effort to ask the person for forgiveness. And obviously, you have to not do it again, you know, you can't be constantly saying, I'm sorry, because that also then there is insincereity in that act of asking for forgiveness. Absolutely. Also, if somebody asks you for forgiveness, or if are you obligated to, or if somebody has hurt you and they want you to, they come to you and they say, you know, please forgive me, are you obligated to accept their apology?

9:37So you must look at it like this, sometimes it's very difficult if someone has hurt you, especially if someone has hurt you deeply, it's very difficult to just say, I forgive you, sometimes the words I said, but the heart feels the pain, the heart still doesn't want to let go, it still keeps you up at night. So Islam teaches us how to combat this. One of the ways is that you need to think to yourself, look at all the sins that you have committed, all the mistakes that you have made, and think about it in relation to where Allah is, and ask yourself, if I go to Allah and I dig and ask Allah, you know, I'm so sorry, it was a mistake. Do I expect a lot to forgive me for those mistakes, for those sins? And if you expect a lot to be afforded with you, then you need to be those qualities to someone else. We can expect that we want a lot to forgive us, that we find it hard to forgive others, because then you're not

10:42actually, you know, perceiving Allah's greatness or Allah's means. When you think of any wrong that you did, think of the mistakes you did, even not asking Allah for forgiveness, think of the things you did or the mistakes you made against other people, and think if they were to find out, and you had to ask them for forgiveness, you would expect that they would forgive you. So you always put yourself in the other person's shoe, and you think about it, and then you say, okay, you know what, if I expect a lot to forgive me, and I have so many mistakes myself, as difficult as it is, I will need to forgive them. They isn't a rule to say you have to forgive. It's more what is Allah's love, and Allah loves the qualities of forgiveness, Allah loves when a person forgive. If you find it difficult to forgive, your children also learn from you. When you are forgiving to your children, they learn as adults, when they get married,

11:47they learn how to forgive their spouses. If they are not brought up in a home, which teaches them that mistakes are okay, and they are okay, and you know, once you say, I will give you, except once both things happen, these adults grow, the children grow up into healthy adults. If they don't, if they are not exposed, you find that they are in marriages especially, it comes out, you know, with your spouse, you completely and forgiving, or you freeze them out for days, because there's so much of resentment in the heart. The more we practice forgiveness, the more it will become easier, and as long as we keep reminding ourselves that Allah loves those who forgive, Allah is most forgiving, and if I wanted some, Allah, then let me show Allah that I can do it too. Absolutely. And then most importantly, asking Allah for forgiveness, how, or whether some to ask for forgiveness that we can recite during this month of Ramadan especially.

12:49So asking Allah for forgiveness is actually a way that scholars tell us to do it. The first thing is, you have to feel remorse for what you did, right? You have to first feel that it was wrong. And then the second thing they tell us is you have to stop this and you can't be asking for forgiveness for something you currently engaged in. So you need to make an effort to stop it, like stop that, you feel very more, and then you have, when you make to ask Allah, you say that you sincerely, what sincerity you say that you won't do it again, like I won't go back to the sin again. Now on this note, remember that you, chances are it's something you've been struggling with, you made human, you may go back to it again, right? It could happen, right? The human. But in that moment, that must be resolved, like I'm not going to do it. If it

13:50happens again, mistake by mistake, then you seek again forgiveness. But it can't be where you asking Allah for forgiveness. In the back of your mind, you know that I'm going to do it again. Then it's not, this is not like how we seek forgiveness. So by it's turning back to Allah, and then when you fall to again, you turn back again to Allah. So you keep turning back to Allah, knowing that Allah is merciful, we are weak. But in that moment, they must be that sincerity. That's how we ask Allah. And then, if you're far, lots of if you're far, that also clears our bad deeds, and also doing good deeds. So doing, maybe charity or anything good, will wipe away the bad or the sins that you did. That's also a good way of clearing it up. And obviously, the best, the best do are to make when you have faulted or when you are asking Allah for forgiveness, is the dua of Adam, alayhi s-salam, which is Rabbana, Balaamana,

14:51and Fussana, wa illa mtaqfidana wa illa mtaqfidlana wa tarhamana, lanaqoonana, minaqafiri. Teriyya Allah, wa banaqfidlana, wa Allah, Rabbana, ala tussiq, ulubana, bada'id, hadaytana, wa hablana, milaidun qarahma. Allah, I do not deviate my heart after you have guided it. I'm giving you two two different ones, right? The first one, the rest of the dua of Adam, alayhi s-salam, which is Rabbana, Balaamana, Fussana, wa Allah, we have oppressed ourselves. Right? Any sin we do, we make this dua because we have oppressed ourselves. So, Rabbana, Balaamana, and Fussana, wa illa mtaqfidlana, and if you don't forgive us, and if you don't have mercy on us, then we are definitely from those who ask the wrongdoers. And the other dua is the Rabbana, la tussiq, ulubana, Allah, don't deviate my heart after you have guided it. To purely ask for forgiveness, dua of Adam, alayhi s-salam, is one of the most beautiful dua in the Quran, one of the most beautiful dua.

15:56Beautiful. Thank you so much for joining us in the show. We've run out of time actually, but a very person and very important topic on forgiveness and the importance of forgiveness, and also reminded to all of our listeners out there to continue making istihfar, one of the easiest ways to seek forgiveness from al-Ata'ala, and to amplify it especially during this Mubarak, these Mubarak days, inshallah. Once again, it was a pleasure chatting to you on A and getting your insights on this amazing topic, very, very deep topic this afternoon, but we'll chat again tomorrow until then you take care and as-salamu alaykum.